December 29, 2025 • 29 mins
Hi, guys! If you’re listening to this week’s episode of Chiquis and Chill, it means you’ve made it to the end of 2025! For those of you who don’t follow numerology closely, 2025 is considered a "Year 9," which explains why so many of us are feeling tired and depleted. In this episode, I’ll explain what a "Year 9" is, and I’ll also share why I’ve been feeling so burned out these last couple of weeks. And to wrap things up, we’ll talk about what I’ll be doing differently in 2026. Have a safe and happy new year!
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
Hello, my beautiful people. Welcome to Cheeky's and Chill. I'm
going to keep it one hundred with you guys, the
way I always do. That's what this podcast is all about.
It is the end of the year and I have
wanted to throw in the towel quite a few times.
(00:26):
I am running on fumes and I know I'm not
the only one, and that's what I want to talk
about on this episode. Just going to keep it a buck.
I'm going to tell you guys how I've been feeling,
and not only how I've been feeling, but also the
epiphany I just had and the realization that I just had,
(00:49):
because it made me feel a tiny bit better. So
I hope that by me expressing what it is I've
been going through and what I just found out, we
can all feel better knowing that this year is almost over.
(01:09):
So starting with me, I have been in a very
dark place the past almost two weeks. Granted a lot
has happened. I have a lot of decisions that I
need to make. I felt that this year was going
to be a lot slower. That was the plan. I
(01:32):
was supposed to get pregnant this year, and it hasn't happened,
so that also had an effect. I have not been
traveling as much for work as I did last year,
but this year has still been busy in a very
different way. As you guys know and I've shared, I've
done a lot of healing, deep healing, digging deep. That
(01:58):
wasn't easy. So because I did all that in the
middle of the year, I thought, Okay, I shouldn't feel
the way I have felt the past few years when
it comes to the end of the year. Just to
backtrack a tiny bit, like the first nine years of
(02:19):
my mom graduating to heaven, as soon as October hit,
every year since twenty twelve, I would start spiraling because
when my mom and I stopped talking in twenty twelve,
it started in October early October, so I would remember
(02:39):
all the dates and I'm like, oh my gosh, this happened,
and I would just think about all those negative things.
So it would just take me in this negative place
and very emotional, and I would feel all kinds of things.
So it was October November, and then in December she passed.
So that's like a whole other thing. Not only did
she pass away December, but then on December nineteenth, we
(03:03):
had her what we call her graduation, her funeral, and
then on December thirty first, we buried her. So it
was just the entire month of December was always so
emotionally heavy. So I thought, Okay, I did all this
healing work. My mom and I are cool, like we're chilling,
Like I've never loved her more than I love her
(03:24):
now and respect her and understand her, I'm not going
to feel that. Uh yeah, I still felt it, guys.
I still felt it. And I think I felt it
in a different way, but I still felt it. I
just think I have to come to terms with the
fact that she is and was and will always be
a very important part of my life forever. And it
(03:47):
gets easier, but it never gets easy, Like I just
have to accept that, and I have to accept that
healing is not linear and this is something I'm going
to have to do for the rest of my life. Okay.
And because of everything else that's going on, because Emilio
and I had a little situation, so that kind of
threw me over that I don't feel comfortable sharing. Usually
(04:11):
I share everything with you, guys, but I don't feel
comfortable sharing it because I want to respect him. If
he comes on the podcast and he wants to share
it with me, then we'll share it. But again, he's
very reserved and I want to respect that. But there
was a little thing with him and I nothing crazy,
but it just I think because I was dealing with
so much stress, it threw me over the edge. And
(04:31):
here's what I realized. I was already kind of going
through things right with work and just really trying to
figure out what I want next year to be like
and the changes I need to make. And so when
this happened with Emilio, again, it wasn't that big of
a deal, but I think I made it a bigger
deal than it had to be because of everything else.
(04:54):
So everything else felt a little unstable, and my stability,
which is my husband, that started kind of shaking. So
it just shook everything, and I was like, oh my god.
And then I was like, I miss my mom. I
wish she was here. Why isn't she here? Guys? It
was like crazy. I looked at my mom's picture and
I was like, Mom, where the f are you? Why
(05:15):
are you not here? And I started feeling angry again,
and I'm like, no, Jenny, we're not going down that
path anymore. We heeled that she's happy wherever she is,
leave her alone, and I was like, okay, I'm sorry, Mom.
I'm just like, I need you right now. I wish
you were here to guide me and tell me what
I need to do, because it doesn't matter how old
I am, I'm always going to need my mother. So
what I did was I went to my mentor who
(05:38):
happens to be a female, and that kind of just
made me feel a little bit better. I was like, okay, cool,
I just needed that mom type of figure to speak
to me and speak, you know, positivity into my life.
And that helped. But then it still wasn't going away.
I'm like, okay, the whole thing with Emilia was better,
and I'm like, okay, I'm going to figure everything out
(05:59):
with work by little. So that helped me. But then
I realize, guys, and this is what made me feel better. Okay.
So if you have been feeling I want to give up,
I'm tired of life, I'm running on fumes, i feel defeated.
I can't wait for this year to be over. I
have been feeling the same way, and you're not alone.
(06:19):
This is a collective feeling, and it's happening all over
the world. And I'm going to tell you why. I'm
sure I knew this in the beginning of the year,
but I forgot. But guys, in numerology, and I believe
a lot in numerology, you don't have to believe in it.
But numbers don't lie, guys, they just don't. And a
(06:41):
lot of people are like, oh my gosh, astrology and
the sun and the alignment and retrograde, and a lot
of people don't believe in that. But guys, it's science,
and whether we like it or not, it does affect us.
And I think a lot of us are feeling it.
It is a year nine, okay. And for those of
you that aren't really familiar with numerology or why, it's
(07:01):
a year nine. So it's a year nine because of
the actual year. So twenty twenty five, when you add
up two plus zero, you still have to add the zero.
I don't know why, but it's like a thing. So
it's two plus zero plus two plus five equals a nine.
So in numerology, like there's different type of numbers, there's
(07:24):
master numbers, path numbers, there's so many different I'm not
an expert in numerology by any means, but I know
certain numbers, especially when it comes to years and dates
and even homes, like there's a whole lot to like
unpack there. But for twenty twenty five, that's why it's
a year nine because it adds up to a nine
in the actual year. So next year will be a
(07:47):
ten and one plus zero is one, and that's why
it's a new beginning. So yeah, I just wanted to
give you guys a little bit of context as to
why it is a nine. What does nine mean in numerology?
It means completion. It means things are coming to an end,
(08:08):
circles are closing, and that's just what it is collectively.
So nine also represents what we said completion, endings, release,
grief plus healing, karmic clearing, letting go of what no
longer aligns, and that's in everything. I just posted something
(08:30):
about the podcast and I got so many comments, guys.
It was someone that left me a question and was saying,
Cheeky's how do you do it. I've gone through so
much loss. I lost I think her mother, and she
lost her relationship, and it was just it was a
lot and I just I really felt it, Like I
think I was almost even crying in that episode. And
the comments in the comments section, guys, was so many
(08:51):
people just saying, oh my god, Cheeky's Yes. I feel
that twenty twenty five has been so hard. I lost
my uncle, I broke up with my boyfriend. I I
lost a friend, like, and I'm like, oh my goodness,
And it got me thinking so that I started looking
and I'm like, oh my goodness, Like it's not just me.
I'm not going crazy, Like it's something that's really happening
(09:12):
in the world, guys, and it's real. So this is
a karma year, right. What does karma mean? People think,
oh my god, what comes around goes around? Yes, and no,
it means that whatever you've put out into the world
and whatever lessons that you need to learn and you
haven't learned, this is the year that it's supposed to happen,
(09:33):
so that you don't bring it into the next year. Okay.
So karma is not punishment, it's alignment, it's realignment. So
I just wanted to say that because I used to
also think, oh my god, karma, karma, like it's not
something to be scared of. It's just something to lenk
(09:53):
into and say, Okay, once I learned the lesson, the
karma will dissolve, Okay. So this is the time for
us to listen, listen, and reflect on what the year
has been. This year has been tough since the beginning
of the year, guys. Starting January. For me, I was
in the Philippines and then the fire started. So when
(10:13):
I came back to La it was chaos here and
my heart was broken with everything that was going on.
So the year started off fucking rough, and then immigration
right away started and just seeing so many people suffer
and it's still happening. It's been a lot, guys. And
(10:36):
because I'm an impath, I love being an EmPATH, but
sometimes I'm just like, oh my gosh, it's heavy. It's
heavy because I feel everyone else's feelings and I know
that I'm not alone in this and I know I'm
not the only one. So I just with this episode,
wanted to more than anything, just tell you that I
understand and more importantly, you're not crazy and there's nothing
(11:00):
wrong with you, Okay, Like I just needed to say
that and I need to speak this into you because
I was going crazy. Guys, I was like, what is happening?
Like I could cry because I was so hard on myself,
like telling myself, Janey, what's wrong with you? Like you're
feeling like this again? And I was like God, like
(11:22):
I'm doing everything you ask, Like I'm doing the healing.
I'm learning the lessons like what's happening? But there are
still things that I need to work on and I
need to accept that my people pleasing my abandonment issues,
you know, the fear of the unknown, of the baby thing.
I thought I was going to get pregnant this year,
(11:44):
and I had this plan, but I have to be
reminded that it's not my plan, it's God's plan. It's
what God wants for my life. And when he thinks
it's time, he promised me something and I'm still trying
to figure that out. So if you have experienced relationships ending,
(12:10):
identities falling apart, old versions of ourselves dying, that's what
happened to me as well. This year. I had to
like die to the old version of myself and really
learn to detach to have healthier relationships. All that stuff.
Systems crack. Okay in a year nine, you guys, truth
(12:32):
comes up, Whether we are ready or not again, this
is the year of the snake. What does the snake do?
It sheds, it transforms. And I guess I just forgot
or I just didn't think about it. But once I
started like looking into it and just really like researching it,
(12:52):
I was like, Oh, my goodness, Yes, this is what
this year is all about. We are shedding, We are
dying our old selves. We are ending things in order
to really step into our power for next year and
stepping into our own. And that is never comfortable. That
is never pretty. Transformation, stepping out of our comfort zone,
(13:16):
losing loved ones, losing relationships. That's never nice. Change is
not fun, but it is necessary. And I always talk
about that growing pains, and that's what we're doing. We're growing, guys,
We're growing, and we're stretching and we're becoming. And when
(13:37):
you're becoming, you're being stretched in so many different directions.
And it's so that we can rebirth this new person,
our most authentic self, the best version of ourselves. So
we just got to take a deep breath. Guys. We're
almost there. We are almost there, and it's gonna be okay.
(13:57):
Just know that even if it doesn't feel like we're
on track or aligning. It's really what's happening. It just
isn't pretty, that's it. And oh, I don't know if
like maybe I'm like God, maybe you have me feeling
all these things and like I'm going through it too,
(14:17):
so that I could share it with my listeners, because
I started talking to friends and just random people and
they're like, oh my god, like I am so done,
Like I am so tired. I can't wait for the
year to be over. I think we're all feeling it.
And granted, I mean guys, without saying too much, and
this is just my personal opinion. Some of you may
(14:40):
disagree with me, and that's okay. But the leader of
our country, guys, and I don't know, maybe this is
happening also in Paris, you know, in another country. I
don't know. I can only speak for like the United
States of America and what I'm feeling here, because you know,
I'm assuming this karmic year goes all the way to
like Europe and anyway, the point is that the leader
(15:01):
of our country, guys, is setting the tone and set
the tone as soon as it came into office, and
it's been chaotic and I have faith that next year
will be better. It has to be better. It is
the year of the horse, guys, and with that comes
stability and endurance and power. What does a horse represent?
(15:23):
Just think of that. And I really believe a lot
in like the Chinese calendar. So these are just my
beliefs and what I believe. But it makes a lot
of sense. Look into it. You be the judge of that.
And again, on that other subject, I won't get into
it because I know it's politics, but that's just my
personal opinion, and I think it has definitely set the tone.
But again, let's not lose our faith, okay, And we'll
(15:46):
just leave that there. But in these two weeks right
that I was just feeling very lost and wanting to cancel,
I did cancel a few things. I'm not going to lie.
I needed to. I needed to just listen to my body.
There was no way that I was going to be
(16:06):
able to go and give the best of myself if
I'm not feeling like myself. And I am a person
that just really does carry her feelings on her sleeve.
It could be a good thing, it could be a
bad thing. But that's just my truth. Guys, I wanted
to just crawl into like a little ball, lay in
my bed under the covers and just shut everything out
(16:29):
until the ear ended. I was like, I can't. Like,
I had a music video I was going to record,
I had this important interview that I'm very grateful for
and it's a great opportunity, but I just I couldn't.
I told my team, I said, I am so sorry.
I need to take care of my mental health right now.
And I cried so much. I cried so much. But
(16:54):
after I cried, I felt better and I sat at
my desk and I'm like, Okay, what is happening, Jane,
let's think about the year. I really needed to understand.
I needed an answer. I wasn't just gonna take it
and like say, I'm feeling like this, like what is happening?
In order for me to change it, I need to
understand what's happening. And I need to make uncomfortable decisions
(17:21):
and that's not fun for me, and have uncomfortable conversations
and really try to do what's best for me for
next year so that I don't feel like this at
the end of the year because I'm doing so many
different things. And although I love everything that I'm doing.
I need to prioritize instead of doing ten things that
(17:44):
I love, let's maybe for next year do seven or
maybe five and really give my all to those five things.
Because yes, for a long time, I was like a superwoman.
I was like, I'm gonna do everything. But I was
in survival mode. Guys. I was like almost in a way,
filling up my schedule to not have to deal with
(18:04):
my emotions. And that's what I am undoing in twenty
twenty five. So I don't want to do that in
twenty twenty six. I really need to learn the lesson.
And that's part of my lesson is I'm constantly like
saying yes to certain things. And that was that was
(18:25):
like the main theme of this year is really just
listening to my intuition, taking care of my owner child,
saying no to people even if it disappoints them, even
if I'm going to disappoint them. It's I need to
honor my feelings and what it is that I'm feeling
and what it is that I want more than feelings,
(18:46):
because feelings can fluctuate, and feelings can be sometimes a
little unreliable, you know sometimes, but really just sit in
my center and listen to my heart. What does Janey want?
And I think that's what I just done for the past.
I don't know how many years all stack up my
schedule because I could do it, and because you know
(19:07):
I could do it. Things are changing and that's okay.
I need to go from that hustle mentality of you know, yeah,
I gotta do it, I gotta get up, I gotta
show up no matter what, Like yeah, that worked in
that season of my life, but in this season of
my life, what makes me happier is being more present,
is working smarter, not harder, and doing the things that
(19:30):
I love and staying true to that, but doing it
better and not just doing it because I need to
fit in and I need to finish it. Like I'm
tired of that and I need to show up and
give my full self instead of just rushing and trying
to just get it done. Like that is not making
me feel good anymore. So I think for me, once
(19:53):
I was like able to clear my schedule a little bit,
and even though I had to maybe disappoint my public
because I didn't go to that interview that was important
and she's like, they're never going to ask you back.
I had to honor myself. I was like, I know,
and that's okay. If they don't ever ask me back,
it's okay. I really need to listen. I can't go
(20:14):
there and put on I can't mask it. That's what
I've been doing for so long. Like it's okay. I'm sad,
but it's okay. I'm happy. I'm gonna be happy. Like
I just couldn't anymore. It's the end of the year.
I just couldn't anymore. And I had to be okay
with that, and I had I canceled a music video
that's important because it's the next single for the album
(20:34):
that's coming out in March, and I need to get
it done asap. So I'm just gonna do it differently
and that's okay. I'm like, I'm going to adjust and
navigate through this. And I did feel guilty. I was like,
oh my god, like Jenna, you have to be responsible,
like you can't do this. These are opportunities that you have, like,
but I'm like, okay, but wait, is it the right
(20:55):
time now? If that opportunity is for me, it will
be there for me again. But right now, Janae needs
Jane Cheeky's needs. Janey and I just had to sit
there and just sit in my feelings and cry. Guys,
like I just needed to cry and just let it
out and release and surrender to what it is that
(21:17):
I was feeling and come back and honestly realizing that
this is the energy that's happening worldwide. It made me
feel less, s guilty, and it made me have more
peace mentally and emotionally physically, where I was like, oh
(21:38):
my gosh, it's not just me, it's not just you,
it's all of us. So what can we do so
that this doesn't happen next year so that next year
doesn't feel that heavy? It's different for all of us,
I don't know. For me. Again, prioritizing what it is
(21:58):
that I want to focus on what makes me happy
and giving it my full undivided attention, right, that's going
to help me a lot. And knowing that December is
usually heavy for me, so maybe not work so much
in December and say, okay, guys, tell my team in November,
you guys, I'm going to give you my all from
(22:19):
freaking January to November. Let me have December and I'll
sprinkle things here and there, but December, I really need
to just unwind and prepare for the next year. Now
I finally learn that and realize that, I'm like, I
can't keep doing this to myself. It's not fair to myself.
It's not fair to my publicist, it's not fair. Like
(22:41):
I need to speak my truth. And now that I
understand this, let them know ahead of time so that
people aren't disappointed, because I don't want to disappoint people.
But again, if I speak on it earlier, now that
I'm aware of it, then I can keep myself from
feeling a little bit of that. So just to kind
(23:08):
of wrap it up, Okay, so year nine is gonna
clear space. Okay, what leaves now cannot come with you
in the next year. You are being prepared for a
clean beginning, so just know that. Okay. When I read
all of this, I was like, oh my gosh, okay, okay,
(23:28):
it made me feel better, and I hope it brings
you some ease. You're not starting from zero, You're starting
from wisdom. That was for me. I'm like, okay, yes,
because I swear I was so hard on myself, guys.
I was like, I can be very hard on myself
and that's something that I am working on. It's gonna
be something I'm gonna work on for the rest of
my life. Like if I do something, I want to
(23:50):
do it right. And I'm just like, I'm constantly, like
sometimes beating myself up. And I didn't realize that I
was doing that until this year and I've been able
to vocalize it more where I'm like, I've been very
hard on myself. That's not fair, you know, And anyho,
(24:12):
just for your peace of mind, this year didn't come
to destroy you, okay. It came to empty your hands
so you can receive what's next. And when I wrote that,
after doing all my research, I was like, yes, I
was like, what is it that I'm feeling. I journaled
that and I wanted to share it with you guys,
because this is what this year is all about, really
(24:34):
making space. It's like, what am I holding that I
want to hold onto so badly but it is no
longer serving my highest good and that's never easy. But
just we've talked about it where it's like really just
letting it go and sitting it down and surrendering so
that that way we have more space in our hands
to hold what's going to make us better, you know,
(24:57):
And that's what is happening right now. So just remember
karmac gear when you hear that word, it doesn't have
to be scary. It is what we need to let
go to become, to become who are meant to be,
to become the person that we need to be for
next year. We need to present ourselves in our most
(25:20):
authentic self in order to get to that. It's not easy,
which is what we're all going through. So I just
wanted to share how I've been feeling and how hard
it's been. And I know that maybe a lot of
people in my position, you know, and being an artist,
and you may think, oh, she has it all together,
she has the perfect life, and she has so much
(25:42):
going for herself, or whatever it is that you may
think of me, And thank you. I appreciate it, you know.
But I am human too, and I go through all
of these things with you guys. And maybe that's why
God gave me this podcast, and maybe that's why God
gave me this platform so that I'm able to help
you guys navigate through it, because because I know a
lot of people aren't willing to talk about it and
(26:03):
to be vulnerable and to say what's really happening? But
I am and I know that that's what I meant
to do on this earth, is to help and to
help empower and inspire and give people hope and give
people hope or maybe hope has been lost. And I
take it on with pride, and it's not an easy task,
(26:25):
but I love doing it and I know that that's
my purpose. So I'm praying and hoping that this episode
helps you and makes you feel better in one way
or another, and it gives you peace and gives you ease,
because I think that's what we need to really close
this year off and really leave whatever it is that
(26:49):
is not helping us and is not serving our highest
purpose or our highest self or our highest good, to
leave it here in twenty twenty five and move on
to the next year with confidence knowing that we are
in alignment. Because if you're feeling it, you are in alignment.
You are right on track, even if it doesn't feel
(27:11):
like it right now, We're gonna be okay. We're going
to be all right. Thank you, guys, Thank you for listening,
and thank you. I'll never get tired of thanking you
guys for coming back each and every single week to
listen to this podcast. I do this podcast with all
of my heart, and I feel like I say this
(27:33):
a lot, but I could be having the worst day
because this year has had a lot of heavy emotional
days for me. But when I come on this mic
and talk to you guys, I always feel better. So
thank you. And here I am. This is the fourth
time now that I'm crying today, So I'm just emotional
and whatever, dude, I'm sensitive and I'm gonna freaking embrace
(27:55):
that side of myself. So I just get emotional because
I love you guys, and I'm very grateful, really really
grateful for each and every single person that presses play.
So thank you. I can't wait to have more conversations
with you in twenty twenty six. I hope you guys
have an amazing and safe new Year. Be careful, guys,
(28:16):
be safe out there, have fun, enjoy, celebrate, and let
go of everything that happened in twenty twenty five. And
let's start twenty twenty six on the right foot. Wishing
you all a very merry, happy New Year. I'll talk
to you soon, catch you on the next episode of
(28:37):
Cheeky's and Chill In twenty twenty six. Y'all, this is
a production of iHeartRadio and the Micaeldura podcast Network. Follow
us on Instagram at Michael Doura Podcasts, then follow me Cheeky's,
That's c Chiquis. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the
iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your
(28:59):
face of your podcast MHM
Hello, my beautiful people. Welcome to Cheeky's and Chill. I'm
going to keep it one hundred with you guys, the
way I always do. That's what this podcast is all about.
It is the end of the year and I have
wanted to throw in the towel quite a few times.
(00:26):
I am running on fumes and I know I'm not
the only one, and that's what I want to talk
about on this episode. Just going to keep it a buck.
I'm going to tell you guys how I've been feeling,
and not only how I've been feeling, but also the
epiphany I just had and the realization that I just had,
(00:49):
because it made me feel a tiny bit better. So
I hope that by me expressing what it is I've
been going through and what I just found out, we
can all feel better knowing that this year is almost over.
(01:09):
So starting with me, I have been in a very
dark place the past almost two weeks. Granted a lot
has happened. I have a lot of decisions that I
need to make. I felt that this year was going
to be a lot slower. That was the plan. I
(01:32):
was supposed to get pregnant this year, and it hasn't happened,
so that also had an effect. I have not been
traveling as much for work as I did last year,
but this year has still been busy in a very
different way. As you guys know and I've shared, I've
done a lot of healing, deep healing, digging deep. That
(01:58):
wasn't easy. So because I did all that in the
middle of the year, I thought, Okay, I shouldn't feel
the way I have felt the past few years when
it comes to the end of the year. Just to
backtrack a tiny bit, like the first nine years of
(02:19):
my mom graduating to heaven, as soon as October hit,
every year since twenty twelve, I would start spiraling because
when my mom and I stopped talking in twenty twelve,
it started in October early October, so I would remember
(02:39):
all the dates and I'm like, oh my gosh, this happened,
and I would just think about all those negative things.
So it would just take me in this negative place
and very emotional, and I would feel all kinds of things.
So it was October November, and then in December she passed.
So that's like a whole other thing. Not only did
she pass away December, but then on December nineteenth, we
(03:03):
had her what we call her graduation, her funeral, and
then on December thirty first, we buried her. So it
was just the entire month of December was always so
emotionally heavy. So I thought, Okay, I did all this
healing work. My mom and I are cool, like we're chilling,
Like I've never loved her more than I love her
(03:24):
now and respect her and understand her, I'm not going
to feel that. Uh yeah, I still felt it, guys.
I still felt it. And I think I felt it
in a different way, but I still felt it. I
just think I have to come to terms with the
fact that she is and was and will always be
a very important part of my life forever. And it
(03:47):
gets easier, but it never gets easy, Like I just
have to accept that, and I have to accept that
healing is not linear and this is something I'm going
to have to do for the rest of my life. Okay.
And because of everything else that's going on, because Emilio
and I had a little situation, so that kind of
threw me over that I don't feel comfortable sharing. Usually
(04:11):
I share everything with you, guys, but I don't feel
comfortable sharing it because I want to respect him. If
he comes on the podcast and he wants to share
it with me, then we'll share it. But again, he's
very reserved and I want to respect that. But there
was a little thing with him and I nothing crazy,
but it just I think because I was dealing with
so much stress, it threw me over the edge. And
(04:31):
here's what I realized. I was already kind of going
through things right with work and just really trying to
figure out what I want next year to be like
and the changes I need to make. And so when
this happened with Emilio, again, it wasn't that big of
a deal, but I think I made it a bigger
deal than it had to be because of everything else.
(04:54):
So everything else felt a little unstable, and my stability,
which is my husband, that started kind of shaking. So
it just shook everything, and I was like, oh my god.
And then I was like, I miss my mom. I
wish she was here. Why isn't she here? Guys? It
was like crazy. I looked at my mom's picture and
I was like, Mom, where the f are you? Why
(05:15):
are you not here? And I started feeling angry again,
and I'm like, no, Jenny, we're not going down that
path anymore. We heeled that she's happy wherever she is,
leave her alone, and I was like, okay, I'm sorry, Mom.
I'm just like, I need you right now. I wish
you were here to guide me and tell me what
I need to do, because it doesn't matter how old
I am, I'm always going to need my mother. So
what I did was I went to my mentor who
(05:38):
happens to be a female, and that kind of just
made me feel a little bit better. I was like, okay, cool,
I just needed that mom type of figure to speak
to me and speak, you know, positivity into my life.
And that helped. But then it still wasn't going away.
I'm like, okay, the whole thing with Emilia was better,
and I'm like, okay, I'm going to figure everything out
(05:59):
with work by little. So that helped me. But then
I realize, guys, and this is what made me feel better. Okay.
So if you have been feeling I want to give up,
I'm tired of life, I'm running on fumes, i feel defeated.
I can't wait for this year to be over. I
have been feeling the same way, and you're not alone.
(06:19):
This is a collective feeling, and it's happening all over
the world. And I'm going to tell you why. I'm
sure I knew this in the beginning of the year,
but I forgot. But guys, in numerology, and I believe
a lot in numerology, you don't have to believe in it.
But numbers don't lie, guys, they just don't. And a
(06:41):
lot of people are like, oh my gosh, astrology and
the sun and the alignment and retrograde, and a lot
of people don't believe in that. But guys, it's science,
and whether we like it or not, it does affect us.
And I think a lot of us are feeling it.
It is a year nine, okay. And for those of
you that aren't really familiar with numerology or why, it's
(07:01):
a year nine. So it's a year nine because of
the actual year. So twenty twenty five, when you add
up two plus zero, you still have to add the zero.
I don't know why, but it's like a thing. So
it's two plus zero plus two plus five equals a nine.
So in numerology, like there's different type of numbers, there's
(07:24):
master numbers, path numbers, there's so many different I'm not
an expert in numerology by any means, but I know
certain numbers, especially when it comes to years and dates
and even homes, like there's a whole lot to like
unpack there. But for twenty twenty five, that's why it's
a year nine because it adds up to a nine
in the actual year. So next year will be a
(07:47):
ten and one plus zero is one, and that's why
it's a new beginning. So yeah, I just wanted to
give you guys a little bit of context as to
why it is a nine. What does nine mean in numerology?
It means completion. It means things are coming to an end,
(08:08):
circles are closing, and that's just what it is collectively.
So nine also represents what we said completion, endings, release,
grief plus healing, karmic clearing, letting go of what no
longer aligns, and that's in everything. I just posted something
(08:30):
about the podcast and I got so many comments, guys.
It was someone that left me a question and was saying,
Cheeky's how do you do it. I've gone through so
much loss. I lost I think her mother, and she
lost her relationship, and it was just it was a
lot and I just I really felt it, Like I
think I was almost even crying in that episode. And
the comments in the comments section, guys, was so many
(08:51):
people just saying, oh my god, Cheeky's Yes. I feel
that twenty twenty five has been so hard. I lost
my uncle, I broke up with my boyfriend. I I
lost a friend, like, and I'm like, oh my goodness,
And it got me thinking so that I started looking
and I'm like, oh my goodness, Like it's not just me.
I'm not going crazy, Like it's something that's really happening
(09:12):
in the world, guys, and it's real. So this is
a karma year, right. What does karma mean? People think,
oh my god, what comes around goes around? Yes, and no,
it means that whatever you've put out into the world
and whatever lessons that you need to learn and you
haven't learned, this is the year that it's supposed to happen,
(09:33):
so that you don't bring it into the next year. Okay.
So karma is not punishment, it's alignment, it's realignment. So
I just wanted to say that because I used to
also think, oh my god, karma, karma, like it's not
something to be scared of. It's just something to lenk
(09:53):
into and say, Okay, once I learned the lesson, the
karma will dissolve, Okay. So this is the time for
us to listen, listen, and reflect on what the year
has been. This year has been tough since the beginning
of the year, guys. Starting January. For me, I was
in the Philippines and then the fire started. So when
(10:13):
I came back to La it was chaos here and
my heart was broken with everything that was going on.
So the year started off fucking rough, and then immigration
right away started and just seeing so many people suffer
and it's still happening. It's been a lot, guys. And
(10:36):
because I'm an impath, I love being an EmPATH, but
sometimes I'm just like, oh my gosh, it's heavy. It's
heavy because I feel everyone else's feelings and I know
that I'm not alone in this and I know I'm
not the only one. So I just with this episode,
wanted to more than anything, just tell you that I
understand and more importantly, you're not crazy and there's nothing
(11:00):
wrong with you, Okay, Like I just needed to say
that and I need to speak this into you because
I was going crazy. Guys, I was like, what is happening?
Like I could cry because I was so hard on myself,
like telling myself, Janey, what's wrong with you? Like you're
feeling like this again? And I was like God, like
(11:22):
I'm doing everything you ask, Like I'm doing the healing.
I'm learning the lessons like what's happening? But there are
still things that I need to work on and I
need to accept that my people pleasing my abandonment issues,
you know, the fear of the unknown, of the baby thing.
I thought I was going to get pregnant this year,
(11:44):
and I had this plan, but I have to be
reminded that it's not my plan, it's God's plan. It's
what God wants for my life. And when he thinks
it's time, he promised me something and I'm still trying
to figure that out. So if you have experienced relationships ending,
(12:10):
identities falling apart, old versions of ourselves dying, that's what
happened to me as well. This year. I had to
like die to the old version of myself and really
learn to detach to have healthier relationships. All that stuff.
Systems crack. Okay in a year nine, you guys, truth
(12:32):
comes up, Whether we are ready or not again, this
is the year of the snake. What does the snake do?
It sheds, it transforms. And I guess I just forgot
or I just didn't think about it. But once I
started like looking into it and just really like researching it,
(12:52):
I was like, Oh, my goodness, Yes, this is what
this year is all about. We are shedding, We are
dying our old selves. We are ending things in order
to really step into our power for next year and
stepping into our own. And that is never comfortable. That
is never pretty. Transformation, stepping out of our comfort zone,
(13:16):
losing loved ones, losing relationships. That's never nice. Change is
not fun, but it is necessary. And I always talk
about that growing pains, and that's what we're doing. We're growing, guys,
We're growing, and we're stretching and we're becoming. And when
(13:37):
you're becoming, you're being stretched in so many different directions.
And it's so that we can rebirth this new person,
our most authentic self, the best version of ourselves. So
we just got to take a deep breath. Guys. We're
almost there. We are almost there, and it's gonna be okay.
(13:57):
Just know that even if it doesn't feel like we're
on track or aligning. It's really what's happening. It just
isn't pretty, that's it. And oh, I don't know if
like maybe I'm like God, maybe you have me feeling
all these things and like I'm going through it too,
(14:17):
so that I could share it with my listeners, because
I started talking to friends and just random people and
they're like, oh my god, like I am so done,
Like I am so tired. I can't wait for the
year to be over. I think we're all feeling it.
And granted, I mean guys, without saying too much, and
this is just my personal opinion. Some of you may
(14:40):
disagree with me, and that's okay. But the leader of
our country, guys, and I don't know, maybe this is
happening also in Paris, you know, in another country. I
don't know. I can only speak for like the United
States of America and what I'm feeling here, because you know,
I'm assuming this karmic year goes all the way to
like Europe and anyway, the point is that the leader
(15:01):
of our country, guys, is setting the tone and set
the tone as soon as it came into office, and
it's been chaotic and I have faith that next year
will be better. It has to be better. It is
the year of the horse, guys, and with that comes
stability and endurance and power. What does a horse represent?
(15:23):
Just think of that. And I really believe a lot
in like the Chinese calendar. So these are just my
beliefs and what I believe. But it makes a lot
of sense. Look into it. You be the judge of that.
And again, on that other subject, I won't get into
it because I know it's politics, but that's just my
personal opinion, and I think it has definitely set the tone.
But again, let's not lose our faith, okay, And we'll
(15:46):
just leave that there. But in these two weeks right
that I was just feeling very lost and wanting to cancel,
I did cancel a few things. I'm not going to lie.
I needed to. I needed to just listen to my body.
There was no way that I was going to be
(16:06):
able to go and give the best of myself if
I'm not feeling like myself. And I am a person
that just really does carry her feelings on her sleeve.
It could be a good thing, it could be a
bad thing. But that's just my truth. Guys, I wanted
to just crawl into like a little ball, lay in
my bed under the covers and just shut everything out
(16:29):
until the ear ended. I was like, I can't. Like,
I had a music video I was going to record,
I had this important interview that I'm very grateful for
and it's a great opportunity, but I just I couldn't.
I told my team, I said, I am so sorry.
I need to take care of my mental health right now.
And I cried so much. I cried so much. But
(16:54):
after I cried, I felt better and I sat at
my desk and I'm like, Okay, what is happening, Jane,
let's think about the year. I really needed to understand.
I needed an answer. I wasn't just gonna take it
and like say, I'm feeling like this, like what is happening?
In order for me to change it, I need to
understand what's happening. And I need to make uncomfortable decisions
(17:21):
and that's not fun for me, and have uncomfortable conversations
and really try to do what's best for me for
next year so that I don't feel like this at
the end of the year because I'm doing so many
different things. And although I love everything that I'm doing.
I need to prioritize instead of doing ten things that
(17:44):
I love, let's maybe for next year do seven or
maybe five and really give my all to those five things.
Because yes, for a long time, I was like a superwoman.
I was like, I'm gonna do everything. But I was
in survival mode. Guys. I was like almost in a way,
filling up my schedule to not have to deal with
(18:04):
my emotions. And that's what I am undoing in twenty
twenty five. So I don't want to do that in
twenty twenty six. I really need to learn the lesson.
And that's part of my lesson is I'm constantly like
saying yes to certain things. And that was that was
(18:25):
like the main theme of this year is really just
listening to my intuition, taking care of my owner child,
saying no to people even if it disappoints them, even
if I'm going to disappoint them. It's I need to
honor my feelings and what it is that I'm feeling
and what it is that I want more than feelings,
(18:46):
because feelings can fluctuate, and feelings can be sometimes a
little unreliable, you know sometimes, but really just sit in
my center and listen to my heart. What does Janey want?
And I think that's what I just done for the past.
I don't know how many years all stack up my
schedule because I could do it, and because you know
(19:07):
I could do it. Things are changing and that's okay.
I need to go from that hustle mentality of you know, yeah,
I gotta do it, I gotta get up, I gotta
show up no matter what, Like yeah, that worked in
that season of my life, but in this season of
my life, what makes me happier is being more present,
is working smarter, not harder, and doing the things that
(19:30):
I love and staying true to that, but doing it
better and not just doing it because I need to
fit in and I need to finish it. Like I'm
tired of that and I need to show up and
give my full self instead of just rushing and trying
to just get it done. Like that is not making
me feel good anymore. So I think for me, once
(19:53):
I was like able to clear my schedule a little bit,
and even though I had to maybe disappoint my public
because I didn't go to that interview that was important
and she's like, they're never going to ask you back.
I had to honor myself. I was like, I know,
and that's okay. If they don't ever ask me back,
it's okay. I really need to listen. I can't go
(20:14):
there and put on I can't mask it. That's what
I've been doing for so long. Like it's okay. I'm sad,
but it's okay. I'm happy. I'm gonna be happy. Like
I just couldn't anymore. It's the end of the year.
I just couldn't anymore. And I had to be okay
with that, and I had I canceled a music video
that's important because it's the next single for the album
(20:34):
that's coming out in March, and I need to get
it done asap. So I'm just gonna do it differently
and that's okay. I'm like, I'm going to adjust and
navigate through this. And I did feel guilty. I was like,
oh my god, like Jenna, you have to be responsible,
like you can't do this. These are opportunities that you have, like,
but I'm like, okay, but wait, is it the right
(20:55):
time now? If that opportunity is for me, it will
be there for me again. But right now, Janae needs
Jane Cheeky's needs. Janey and I just had to sit
there and just sit in my feelings and cry. Guys,
like I just needed to cry and just let it
out and release and surrender to what it is that
(21:17):
I was feeling and come back and honestly realizing that
this is the energy that's happening worldwide. It made me
feel less, s guilty, and it made me have more
peace mentally and emotionally physically, where I was like, oh
(21:38):
my gosh, it's not just me, it's not just you,
it's all of us. So what can we do so
that this doesn't happen next year so that next year
doesn't feel that heavy? It's different for all of us,
I don't know. For me. Again, prioritizing what it is
(21:58):
that I want to focus on what makes me happy
and giving it my full undivided attention, right, that's going
to help me a lot. And knowing that December is
usually heavy for me, so maybe not work so much
in December and say, okay, guys, tell my team in November,
you guys, I'm going to give you my all from
(22:19):
freaking January to November. Let me have December and I'll
sprinkle things here and there, but December, I really need
to just unwind and prepare for the next year. Now
I finally learn that and realize that, I'm like, I
can't keep doing this to myself. It's not fair to myself.
It's not fair to my publicist, it's not fair. Like
(22:41):
I need to speak my truth. And now that I
understand this, let them know ahead of time so that
people aren't disappointed, because I don't want to disappoint people.
But again, if I speak on it earlier, now that
I'm aware of it, then I can keep myself from
feeling a little bit of that. So just to kind
(23:08):
of wrap it up, Okay, so year nine is gonna
clear space. Okay, what leaves now cannot come with you
in the next year. You are being prepared for a
clean beginning, so just know that. Okay. When I read
all of this, I was like, oh my gosh, okay, okay,
(23:28):
it made me feel better, and I hope it brings
you some ease. You're not starting from zero, You're starting
from wisdom. That was for me. I'm like, okay, yes,
because I swear I was so hard on myself, guys.
I was like, I can be very hard on myself
and that's something that I am working on. It's gonna
be something I'm gonna work on for the rest of
my life. Like if I do something, I want to
(23:50):
do it right. And I'm just like, I'm constantly, like
sometimes beating myself up. And I didn't realize that I
was doing that until this year and I've been able
to vocalize it more where I'm like, I've been very
hard on myself. That's not fair, you know, And anyho,
(24:12):
just for your peace of mind, this year didn't come
to destroy you, okay. It came to empty your hands
so you can receive what's next. And when I wrote that,
after doing all my research, I was like, yes, I
was like, what is it that I'm feeling. I journaled
that and I wanted to share it with you guys,
because this is what this year is all about, really
(24:34):
making space. It's like, what am I holding that I
want to hold onto so badly but it is no
longer serving my highest good and that's never easy. But
just we've talked about it where it's like really just
letting it go and sitting it down and surrendering so
that that way we have more space in our hands
to hold what's going to make us better, you know,
(24:57):
And that's what is happening right now. So just remember
karmac gear when you hear that word, it doesn't have
to be scary. It is what we need to let
go to become, to become who are meant to be,
to become the person that we need to be for
next year. We need to present ourselves in our most
(25:20):
authentic self in order to get to that. It's not easy,
which is what we're all going through. So I just
wanted to share how I've been feeling and how hard
it's been. And I know that maybe a lot of
people in my position, you know, and being an artist,
and you may think, oh, she has it all together,
she has the perfect life, and she has so much
(25:42):
going for herself, or whatever it is that you may
think of me, And thank you. I appreciate it, you know.
But I am human too, and I go through all
of these things with you guys. And maybe that's why
God gave me this podcast, and maybe that's why God
gave me this platform so that I'm able to help
you guys navigate through it, because because I know a
lot of people aren't willing to talk about it and
(26:03):
to be vulnerable and to say what's really happening? But
I am and I know that that's what I meant
to do on this earth, is to help and to
help empower and inspire and give people hope and give
people hope or maybe hope has been lost. And I
take it on with pride, and it's not an easy task,
(26:25):
but I love doing it and I know that that's
my purpose. So I'm praying and hoping that this episode
helps you and makes you feel better in one way
or another, and it gives you peace and gives you ease,
because I think that's what we need to really close
this year off and really leave whatever it is that
(26:49):
is not helping us and is not serving our highest
purpose or our highest self or our highest good, to
leave it here in twenty twenty five and move on
to the next year with confidence knowing that we are
in alignment. Because if you're feeling it, you are in alignment.
You are right on track, even if it doesn't feel
(27:11):
like it right now, We're gonna be okay. We're going
to be all right. Thank you, guys, Thank you for listening,
and thank you. I'll never get tired of thanking you
guys for coming back each and every single week to
listen to this podcast. I do this podcast with all
of my heart, and I feel like I say this
(27:33):
a lot, but I could be having the worst day
because this year has had a lot of heavy emotional
days for me. But when I come on this mic
and talk to you guys, I always feel better. So
thank you. And here I am. This is the fourth
time now that I'm crying today, So I'm just emotional
and whatever, dude, I'm sensitive and I'm gonna freaking embrace
(27:55):
that side of myself. So I just get emotional because
I love you guys, and I'm very grateful, really really
grateful for each and every single person that presses play.
So thank you. I can't wait to have more conversations
with you in twenty twenty six. I hope you guys
have an amazing and safe new Year. Be careful, guys,
(28:16):
be safe out there, have fun, enjoy, celebrate, and let
go of everything that happened in twenty twenty five. And
let's start twenty twenty six on the right foot. Wishing
you all a very merry, happy New Year. I'll talk
to you soon, catch you on the next episode of
(28:37):
Cheeky's and Chill In twenty twenty six. Y'all, this is
a production of iHeartRadio and the Micaeldura podcast Network. Follow
us on Instagram at Michael Doura Podcasts, then follow me Cheeky's,
That's c Chiquis. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the
iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your
(28:59):
face of your podcast MHM
Host
Chiquis
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