From Rivales to Amigas with Helen Ochoa

Chiquis is joined by regional Mexican singer/best friend Helen Ochoa. Chiquis and Helen discuss their very public feud, what really started it and how they were able to work things out. Helen also talks about her career, the difficulties of being a woman in the industry and the importance of supporting and empowering other female artists.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
I can honestly say that Helen is one of my
best friends. Helen has been like a therapist. She knows
everything about me. But it wasn't always like that. I
think it just became a thing where it was a
lot more convenient for just the music industry in general,
for all of the women to be like on their toes.

(00:23):
I know what it's like to not have major label support,
you know, sometimes seen it from your colleagues feels so
uplifting and it just also makes you feel like we're
in this together. Hey, what up, guys. Welcome back to
another episode of cheek Ease and Chill. I'm your lovely
host cheek Ease, and today we have one of my

(00:45):
coolest friends on the pod. We're gonna be talking about friendship,
which actually didn't start out as a friendship, just f
y I, So stay tuned for that. And we're also
going to talk a little bit about our music careers
and the industry. So let's get right into it. This
is chick eas and Chill. Okay, so it's promised. I

(01:08):
have one of my beautiful best friends here with me today.
Her name is Helen o Choa or Helena Santos she's
a regional Mexican singer songwriter, and we actually collaborated on
a song a couple of years ago called Last If
you haven't heard it, go listen to it. Now. What up, amiga?
What's your friend? I'm so happy to have you here.
Thank you, thank you. I'm happy to be here. I

(01:30):
think this podcast is freaking awesome. I love listening you.
I love I love the conversations. This is exactly what
we need to just let out. You know, what we
have in our horrib but we have in our mind.
We never know who we might impact in a positive voice.
So kudo's my friend. Thank you so much. Thank you
for being here. And you guys, we've been friends for

(01:50):
what three years now? Right? Friends? Just about? Yeah? Yes?
So I think we should start there so I can
honestly say that Helen is one of my friends. I
have very few friends, you guys. So for me, it's
like Helen has been like a therapist. She knows everything
about me, she's giving me great advice. But it wasn't
always like that, Like I said, so I think we

(02:12):
should we should talk about that friend. Was it the
media that started bellow between us? Or I think the
very first time we had this conversation, it flowed perfectly,
I think because we were just honest at heart. I
don't think we ever necessarily had a personal problem with
each other. I think at some point we thought it
was personal because I know, like we both kind of

(02:34):
had neutral feelings like okay, like I'm nice to her,
but I don't feel like it's it's clicking, like, so
I guess I'm just gonna stay on my side. And
then you kind of stayed on your side, like we
we kind of were like almost like unspoken enemies, it
felt like. And then I didn't see you, I guess,
like as a person that like I know, mom old

(02:55):
or you know, I never I never hated you, I never,
like nothing of that sort. I think it just came
a thing of you know, we were we were on
separate labels, but those labels, you know, technically had their
their beats, yes, their own beat, and I think it
kind of just arbitracted to it. Yeah, it became our beef,
you know. And I remember when we spoke about how

(03:17):
like you were one color, I was another color, you know,
was like we kind of just stick to our colors,
to our people stuck to that bridge, and we never
we never crossed each other's and it was so crazy
because I remember the very first time that we actually
spoke to each other. It was it was during like

(03:37):
in Sioso. You were just absolutely sweet to me. I
had performed during that, but I remember you hosted. And
then after there was many like a couple of months
after we've we've gone to a mutual friend's wedding and
I saw you that you were so sweet. You came
and said hi. You were like, oh my god, I

(03:59):
loved your outfit. It was super cool and you sounded amazing.
Fel always like oh my god, thank you, like it
was it was just so sweet, and I thought like,
she's actually really nice. And I always thought like, I remember,
I haven't even told you because I had seen you
at the It was inaccuration for uh, your Mama's, the
reality show that she did, and I remember I was like, frescosa,

(04:25):
she's so pretty and thank you friend, I swear you know.
And I think it just at some point we got
into this mode that we didn't really ask for, but
we kind of had to like not necessarily defend our people,
but it was more like just okay, well, I'm gonna
have to have a guard up because I'm on this
side and she's on this side. And it was like

(04:46):
that for a very long time. For a long time,
it was so uncomfortable because I'm not one to have
issues with anybody, no man who's done. And now that
I know you, you're the same way. You get along
with everyone. Everyone loves you, you know, you and your
husband JP shout out to Jape's you know. But I
think what it was it was like you said you
were blue. I was read. You know, it's like something

(05:09):
we hadn't we chose, but we didn't, so it was
kind of like they have beef, so it's our beef.
And then not only that, it was they kept I
think putting things I think more in your head about
me that I didn't like you, that I was trying
to stop your career, that I supposedly had this power
of like not having certain networks interview you, because if

(05:32):
they interviewed you, then I was going to be upset
and I was going to give them an interview, which
is absolutely fucking faults you guys. I would never do that.
I've heard things of like oh checks pays radio stations,
so that they don't play my music. They used to
say the same thing about your mom. It's crazy, Yeah,
why would I spend my money on that, like to
stop someone's career? Absolutely not. And I think it just

(05:54):
became a thing where it was a lot more convenient
for just the music industry in general, you know, for
all of the women to be like on their toes.
And I think the point where your your mom passed,
you know, a lot of people came about with you know,
oh my god, proxima. You know, there's an next one.

(06:15):
And it's like I think I understood fully even when
she was here, you know, present, there's no feeling someone's shoes,
you know, it's it's creating your own path with your
own damn shoes. And I think at some point, you know,
when time passed, we went our own paths, even beyond
you know, the people we were working with at the time.

(06:36):
And I think both of us kind of once we
were in a good place, you know, maturity falls into place.
Obviously you see things a little bit different, and then
then you're just kind of like, Okay, maybe I was
wrong about her, you know, maybe maybe things aren't like this.
And I remember, I think it was in two thousand.
It was in two thousands seventeen. I sent you flowers
your birthday, and it's crazy. We have a beautiful friend,

(06:59):
uh from Miami, and I had spoken to her a
little bit about it, and she actually told me like,
chicks is the sweetest person on the planet, Like I've
never heard of say anything about about anybody, and and
it's crazy how much you girls are so much alike.
I think at some point when I send your flowers,
I was like, okay, you know, I don't know what's

(07:20):
gonna happen. She can be like, what is this, what's
the purpose of this? You didn't have her garden up
with me or or just simply say oh that was
really sweet, like I posted them. I was so surprised, exactly,
and I was like, okay, I have this intuition. I'm
super intuitive, and it's so crazy because so are you.
It's freaking DUTs. But I thought like, okay, if my
intuition is correct, it's gonna make her smile. But you know,

(07:44):
kind of time passed. I think like two years pasted
it because it was I think we're turning my team
until I forgot what it is you posted JP and
I started laughing and he's like, don't you messenger. See
she wants to grab some dinner. Say, I can't do that,
and he's like why, Like I can't just do that?

(08:04):
Like no, Like I'm not gonna just He's like, why not,
you know, just just do it. You never know. I
was like, okay, here it goes so here. I am
like hey, and then I kind of just left it
alone and I'm like, okay, you if you want to
get together sometime, you know, let me know. And I
think after like it was like a couple of hours

(08:25):
and hey, yeah, let's do it all right, we didn't
actually meet. I think it was too like a couple
of weeks. It might have even been almost like a
month later, like a month I think it was. But
it's so crazy. I'm the kind of person I always
know when I meet someone the place they're gonna have
in my life. I always know by the way they

(08:46):
say hello. It's so crazy, but I always crazy. I
always know by the first hello, the eye contact, the
facial expression, the aura, the overall vibe of that person.
I can tell the media lee and I remember I
walked into the restaurant. I was like, okay, here it goes.
I I did a prayer in the car with literally

(09:08):
because I love you, I swear. I was like, I
don't know it's gonna happened. I don't know if I'm
gonna walk in there and everything's gonna flow, or if
like it's gonna become a you know play. I honestly
did not know what's gonna happen. And I remember I
walked in, I looked for you, and You're like, Helen,
I'm over here. You were waving. That's super cheesy, I swear.

(09:31):
I swear. I relaxed and I was like, Okay, this
is you. God, It's fine. It's gonna be fine. And
I remember I actually had to take a trip back home.
I was like, okay, I have maybe like an hour
and a half, two hours, and then we have to
get going, and you had a meeting right after. It
was like a like a kind of like the late

(09:53):
lunch that we took. We ended up being there for
like five hours talking and I remember that talking about everything.
Third time by so fast that I didn't even realize,
Holy mother, we've been here for five hours. A great
conversation going back to the whole thing, and you know,

(10:19):
people or women should I say in the industry, you guys,
it's unfortunate. I think that Helen and I um. For me,
I'm all about women empowerment, as you guys know on
my social media and everything. But I'm not just I
don't just talk about it like I I do it,
you know, with you guys, that was the first time
in regional Mexican music, and it still hasn't been done

(10:40):
again where three women collab on one song that's done
in Roano. We see the Becky Gs, Carol Gs, Anitas
of that world collaborating, but it doesn't happen in our
music and regional Mexican music. Why because you know, And
that's the problem where I was like, no, we have
to and I've tried to get along with all all

(11:00):
the women in the industry. I really have that song
as a tramp, as you guys, was supposed to be
with two other girls, and then another one that I'm
just not going to mention because it's not worth it.
But Victoria, it kind of happened the same thing. People
started beef. Whatever her and I talked, we hashed it out.
We're cool as funk. I love VI and with Helen

(11:23):
and Ellie because I felt that's how you know, God's
timing is perfect. But there's just this jealousy amongst women
in our industry that it's there's only one spot for
a woman, that's it, and it's like, why should it
be that way? There is so much talent that I'm like,
the way I'm going to show that is by using
my social media posting other women's music. Because I have

(11:44):
my own thing, they have theirs, And I think that
that's what sets us apart because Helen is the same way.
You know, I see you posting, I see you get
along with so many. I think there's just one that
you don't get along with. But that's not your fault.
That's ship. But Helen is the same way. Like Helen,
Helen is celebrates and that's what we need more of,

(12:07):
you know, celebrating women and lifting each other as you know, cliche,
as it sounds united, you know, we stand stronger, but
it's true, you know, and this is what we have
to do and support women. I hate seeing where women
are tearing each other down, especially on social media, and
it's just I'm not cool with that. I'm not down
with that. So Helen talked to us a little bit

(12:30):
about that, because you do show on your social media
that you're not just about women empowerment, like you really
do uplift other women in this industry. And I love
that about you. Thank you so much. And you know,
it's I think it's it's tough because I I know
what it's like. I know what it's like to be

(12:50):
alone in the industry and not have you know, a
major label support. You know, right now, it's literally just
JP and I. We hired of friend of mine, you know,
to help us out when I do events or you know,
when I do other things. I'm also an entrepreneur, I
have a I have a little small business of a
small life of Blain guys, the life of playing, you know,

(13:11):
and and we we kind of took baby stairs in
this entire thing. But I know it's like to not
have that support. You know, sometimes seeing it from your
colleagues feels just like saw uplifting, motivating, and and it
just also kind of makes you feel like we're in
this together. We have the same struggles, we have the
same battles. We know. You know that unfortunately, spots for

(13:35):
women in the industry are very scarce, you know, so
just we have no control over that, even if we
put out good songs, even if we do a badass video,
and you know, we're we're doing promo tours and things
like that. Sometimes in presidial still will have a cap
leta with like, you know, ten men that are gonna
show face at this show and there's one woman on
the roster at most. Two. Two is already a big thing.

(13:57):
Three absolutely unheard of. Okay, So but why do you
think that is? Though? I think there's a misconception about
us that absolutely is old school and get a lot
of a lot of people still have it, you know.
I think they think that we're doing music almost like
part time, like we're doing music, but as at exactly

(14:20):
we're doing it as a hobby. You know, we're we're
not willing to work, we're not willing to travel, we're
you know, very offensive, exactly, or we're married to somebody
that's too jealous and it's not gonna you know, travel
and do the most. Maybe it was that way in
a lot of cases, not all of them, you know,
but in a lot of cases back in the day,
you know, back in the nineties and things like that.
But we're talking about a time where you know, now

(14:43):
like people are blowing up on on social media. You know, women,
we're envirable on TikTok. I've spoken a lot about this
little girl because I absolutely love her story. I have
not seen that little girl once complained, I've never seen
that list girl. Absolutely and she's dope. As how, it's
a competition must be in. I feel with the men,

(15:08):
they're honestly our biggest competition. They're the ones in the
popularity list for radios. They're the ones that you know
have you know a lot more playlists sometimes And I'm
not saying that that's the case all the time, but
you know, sometimes I see it a lot more on
that side. On this side, you know, every playlist, you know,

(15:28):
they're putting more women in the cover art. It's it's happening.
It's slowly but surely happening. I think it's just patients
and that I personally feel it's get which I think
is great that have high and important positions that I
don't know why I feel like we don't get as

(15:50):
much support from them. It's crazy. I'm like, you're a woman,
you know what it is to be a woman and
how difficult it must have been for you in the
corporate world to get to that position. Should what's that?
I mean, if you don't like our music, cool, But
it's just kind of like I know a few and
I'm obviously not going to name them, but it's just
like they make it a little bit more difficult the

(16:13):
powers in their hands, you know, to make you a
priority on a playlist, you know, to even put you
on the playlist to begin with. This is definitely a
conversation that that should be had, you know, by by
everybody in the industry, because at the end of the day,
I think something that your mom did Marvelous Lee was
just Okay, you're not gonna give me a path. I'm

(16:36):
gonna show you. I'm gonna create, I'm gonna make my path,
and then I'm gonna make her you hear what I
have to say. And I think that's something that I
always admired about her, And I feel like I almost think,
do we do we have to have? Like? Like is
that how it has to be? Like what what's the
deal here? Like do we have to be do we
have to be bitches? Come on? Like, you know what,

(16:58):
That's what my mom would always say. She is like
I wasn't always a bit. The industry made me a
bit because I had to defend myself. I remember we
that we had had that conversation, and it's something that
I feel like, you know, damn, I I still can't
pinpoint it, you know, exactly, but I can definitely say that,
you know, the public has you know, the power to

(17:20):
you know, to help us in that in that I
guess aspect of Okay, you know, I don't see this
song on this playlist. Hey I want Helen song in here.
Hey you guys should put Chicky song in here, especially
if we're we're consistent, we keep putting our music. And
it's a lot of money. It's it's this takes expensive
much money. It's it's Saturday, you know, and so much effort,

(17:42):
so much of your time. Like you know, you you
put some creativity behind something, and and I can honestly
say sometimes it can it can actually be discouraging, you know,
when for sure you put something out and then you're like, damn,
you know, I didn't make any playlists or I made
only one, or damning, I'm not I'm not getting enough

(18:03):
of views. You know. Let me, let me try to
push this a little bit more. But I think it's
you know, if you if you have this like passion
for for a female artist, help her out, you know,
put it out there the same thing that we do.
You know, you like a nice story. I only things
like that, and and it's it's you know, yeah, and

(18:28):
Norman look. And I think one of the things that
I also believe, and I've talked about this recently, is
that I actually just did promo with a friend who
I also collaborated with. I specified, how you know, women
in the industry too, we we have an obligation to
have consistency. I do see some women that come out

(18:49):
don't have a really good song, but they won't put
a song out sometimes until another like six seven months
or even a year. Things like that also kind of
pushed back a little bit of we're trying to like
take steps forward with because of the consistency, you know.
And I know it's expensive. I get it. It's a
lot of work. It's it's it's tough to kind of
keep up because now music is being consumed so fast

(19:13):
that I just I think we talked about this friend,
like how like so I used to last a single
used to last three three months, six months within a month.
It's like, Okay, what else you got? What else can
and it's like, dude, hold on, so down. I spent
a lot of money on that freaking song, the mixing,
the mastering, the cover, are you know? The photos? Holy

(19:37):
where to go? You should be proud of yourself, though, Helen.
To my listeners who haven't heard my friends music, please
go listen to it on all the digital platforms. How
old were you when you started singing friends? I was
literally I think when I started singing, I I think

(20:00):
more like like formally, I I guess, yeah, yeah, I
was about eight years old. The very first time that
I like the courage to like grabl Mike. I remember
it was at my sister's Inzana, and you know we're
Mexican and during that time, my parents budget was very small,
so they're like, okay, we want to get married, but

(20:21):
it's also Francisca, my sister or Kinzana, and Helen needs
to do her first communion. We had the biggest, fattest
party with my parents, married my sister Kinzana and my
first communion. At the moment I was I was little,
I thought it was a great idea. Now that I'm older,
I'm like, you guys are mean she should have had

(20:41):
her own moments, you know, and and yeah. But I'm like, okay, well,
you know, I guess it was done that way because
my parents, you know, they had to save money. It
was the only way to do it back in the day.
But basically they had a banda there. Um. I asked
my dad if I could stay with the banda. He
said no, He's like, go play with your cousins, forget
about it. But I was like, I was determined. I'm like, okay,
I'm not gonna give up. So I went straight to

(21:02):
the band that I grabbed him. I canna tell the director.
I'm like, I want to sing, and he looked at
me the same way, like, oh, you're cute. I'm like, no, no,
I'm serious, sucker. I want to say you know what
I mean like I want to say and he's like, okay, yeah.
So I sing my very first song at that family
part that it was. It was the first time my
dad was like, okay, like there's something here. Yeah, see

(21:23):
you guys. The number one thing she was persistent, okay,
very important. As we listened to her story, persistence okay,
go on friend. So basically he he bought me a
karaoke machine. He bought me a bunch of CDs. Selena Obviously,
I think every little girl I wanted to be Selina,

(21:45):
we all wanted that. Actually got the freaking purple suit
made at some point, like I actually have them of
I swear it's in there somewhere. And it wasn't until
I was about sixteen, actually auditioned for American Idol. I
may it to like the top thirty in American Idol,
and then I got cut right before they picked. It

(22:05):
was like fifteen people to actually go on TV and
like comp and stuff. It was the most heartbreaking thing ever.
I had no clue, you know, I was super green
during that time. But I went to a music teacher,
a vocal coach, and he actually was the first one
that told me, you have a great voice, but you're
singing the wrong way. You're doing it wrong, Like we
need to teach you how to sing where you're not

(22:26):
gonna hurt yourself. You know you're not gonna at the
end of the day. Most like, let's go ahead and
help you. These are the techniques so that you know
you you can start molding your voice the way you're
saying that you know you want to do it. He
taught me this method of the tarzan. Oh you taught
me that one. She says, it's in a voice note one, guys.
Yea tarzan is key for the vibratos, you know, And

(22:51):
that's the technique that kind of helped mold a little
bit of that style. I guess that I always wanted
to have. I always wanted it through those R and
B riffs. And you know, once I started to actually
understand my voice, I was like, Okay, now I'm comfortable.
But then I went to uh, my very first reality shows.
In two thousand six, I competed for a recording contract.

(23:15):
It was an amazing experience, but that's the first time
I think that I understood that I was singing really awesome,
but I had no heart in what I was singing.
And I remember the he's you know, would write the
songs out and you tell me, okay, let's read the songs.

(23:38):
We're gonna sing them. We're gonna read every line and
we're gonna understand what this song means and the way
it's supposed to be sung. And I think it wasn't
until then that I realized, holy moly, I'm not singing
from my heart. This is just you know songs to me,
like they're not stories. And I think once I understood
you know that part, you know, it kind of became

(24:00):
second nature to me. We talked about this recently. Friend.
You know, you have a really cool song that I
absolutely love it. Honestly, it's my all time favorite song
I think you've recorded. I love this song thro that
n I love that, I love I love the lyrics.
I love all of it, the whole little beat, the

(24:23):
whole melody of that's the lyrics. It's a vibe, the
whole Yeah, this is what it's about. Are you writing
like right now? Songs like what's what's in the pipeline?
Right now? I am And I think, Um, it's definitely
something I'm losing fear on and I'm trying to give
myself the opportunity to to write a little more on

(24:45):
this one. I'm excited. Do you have the name of
it already? Not just yet, but I'm thinking you actually
gave me a really good idea, which is this is
you had given me the ideas, see, and I think, uh,
I think it might be Mrs Santos, or I might
way to do a Mrs Santos that is a little

(25:06):
more like Lovelace. Yes, yeah, it has to kind of
go with what what songs are on. You're gonna know,
you're gonna fill it in your heart, you guys, let
me tell you. And not only is my friend an
amazing singer, she's a wife, but her husband lets her
like allows her to be herself, especially on stage. I
need to go watch see you on stage like soon. Friend.

(25:27):
She's a dog mom and she's a blinger. Okay, so
before we go, I really need you to share friend
your Instagram handles. And also she's blinged out my mic.
You guys, I have a hat that I just wore
for my l A show. She blinged out my hat
a lot. I have like a couple of cups from her,
a few actually, so we have life of bling So

(25:49):
if you want to, you know, share your social media
friend all of them. Please do something my friend. Thank
you so much, you guys. At Helen underscore toa that's
how I am on Instagram at Life of Blink. But
the life is with the why. It's spelled with the why.
I know, weird like we had I like it though,
you guys, she's amazing. To make sure you follow her

(26:10):
listen to her music as soon before I let you go.
As you know, I always leave you with a motivational quote,
so I thought this one was fitting. The quote is
a true friend excepts who you are, but also helps
you become who you should be. Thank you so much

(26:31):
for listening. Hopefully you know you learned a little something
and enjoyed this podcast Chick and Chill. Do you need
advice on love, relationships, health? Imas? I'm so excited to
share with you that my Cheekies and Chill podcast will

(26:54):
have an extra episode drop each week. I'll be answering
all your questions. Just leave me a voice, my sage.
All you have to do is go to speak pipe
dot com, slash Cheeks and Chill podcast and record your questions.
I can't wait to hear from you. This is a

(27:15):
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