June 24, 2024 • 19 mins
Hi everyone. Today’s episode is going to be my most personal yet. I’m going to share something that’s been weighing heavily on me. Thank you for your compassion and for listening to me with an open heart.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:09):
Hello, everyone, Welcome to this week's episode of Cheeky's and Chill.
Thank you so much for taking the time to listen.
Thank you for loving my podcast. I get a lot
of great comments you guys. I just had a few
shows this weekend and a lot of people are like,
I listen to your podcast, Thank you so much. It's
such an inspiration and that makes me happy because that's
(00:32):
all I ever want to do you guys, is in
some way be an inspiration and make you guys feel empowered.
And if I can prevent you from making mistakes like
I've made, that is what this podcast and my whole life,
my singing, my books, everything that I do, that is
like my main focus. Well, this is going to be
(00:54):
an episode where it's just you and I again, me
the mic and you. So what I want to talk
to you guys about today is something that has been
on my heart for about a week now. It's been
in my prayer and meditation time and I spoke to
a few people about it, like what do you think
I kind of want to say this, and some people said, yes,
(01:20):
I think you should. I think if you have that
in your heart and you want to express it, I
think you should other said no that I shouldn't, but
I always do what I want to do. I follow
my heart. There's a lot of heart in this episode
right now. But that's my truth right now, and I
(01:42):
just I feel like, in a way it's going to
liberate me. I don't know just the whole thing that happened,
you guys, with my miscarriage. And I got a lot
of love messages, a lot of comments, a lot of
dms from you guys that listen to my podcast. Thank
you so much. Again, I don't know where to start.
I don't know how I'm even going to star this.
I guess I'm just going to dig deep and I'm
(02:04):
going to wean this because there's no right or wrong
way to say. In reality, this is just something that
I wanted to share because my miscarriage put a lot
of things into perspective for me, and I just don't
feel right keeping something like this in, especially since I've
been so honest and upfront with you guys about almost
everything in my life. But I want to say it
(02:28):
was season one or season two of Cheeese and Chill
were now in the third season. I've sprinkled it in
here and there, in regards to a miscarriage I said
I had when I was nineteen. That wasn't the entire truth.
I did not feel comfortable with stating my truth, and
now I feel comfortable now, I feel ready because it
(02:54):
was actually I decided to terminate the pregnancy. I don't
know if termination is worse than abortion. I don't know,
but I just I guess. I'm still uncomfortable with the vocabulary.
Even saying miscarriage is a little weird to me, like, oh,
I had a misca It's still very weird to me.
It sounds, it feels weird. So anyways, it was my choice.
(03:14):
At nineteen years old, that's when it happened. I said
I had a miscarriage. It's a secret I've carried for
since then. The person that I was with then doesn't
even know. I hope this is It's sad, but I
don't have any communication with him. But this is how
he's going to find out as well. I told him
that it was a miscarriage. I went by myself. I
(03:39):
was nineteen years old. I was very afraid of my mom,
not because I just didn't want to disappoint her. I
think that's why I was afraid of her, not because
she was going to like kick me out or anything
like that. I think it was more of like disappointing her.
I always seek her approval, and definitely, at nineteen years old,
I was not ready. And I guess I just feel
(04:02):
like I have to confess it in a way because
now that I've really experienced a miscarriage, this was my
very first miscarriage, I don't feel like it's fair. It's
fair to say that, and it doesn't feel right inside
of me, especially with everything that the healing journey I've
been on for the past few years. It just doesn't
feel right. And that's why I wanted to let you
(04:24):
guys know. And I apologize if I let anyone down.
I apologize if maybe I'll lose some followers or some listeners,
because I know that that's a very touchy subject. And
I have also expressed on my podcast it I am
pro choice. That's just my opinion. That's my belief. I
(04:47):
feel that as women we should have and decide what
we do with our bodies. And that's just my opinion,
and I respect everyone else's opinion. So I also so
understand if people will be upset with me. I just
someone told me, you're like teekies. Don't don't say it.
You don't have to, like you know, there's even friends
(05:10):
that had no idea that are in my life now.
And I told him, I said, I just have to
say this because I honestly thought about it. I thought,
I said, oh my gosh, like, is this because I
had an abortion before that this happened and all the
reproductive issues that I've had, Is it because of that?
You know? I'm not gonna lie and say that. I
didn't think that. But when I was in Albuquerque at
(05:31):
the hospital, the doctor there was so amazing and she
told me, because of course, you have to give them
all of your you know, your health history, and and
I did, and I told her, I told her, you know, yes,
and a media already knew this. Him and I before,
I think a week before he asked me to marry him,
we had this deep conversation in Las Vegas. We both
(05:52):
like sat at a bar and we just told each
other everything, stuff that he's gone through and he has
done that he's not proud of. And I confess this.
I said, I just want you to know everything about me.
And I just feel better since that conversation. So even
friends of mine who are really close to me, I
(06:13):
never told them. Uh. And one of my friends was like,
I don't think that you need to tell people this
because you know how people or some people can be
with you, especially the media. They're going to talk bad
about you. And I'm just like, you know what. At first,
I was like, yeah, you're right, I'm not going to
say anything, but it just didn't. It was bothering me.
(06:35):
And that's like my gut feeling, my intuition saying it's okay.
The people that love you are going to love you regardless,
and maybe you can help other people. And that's what
I want to do, is like I want to help
people and I want to show you guys at the
end of the day, like, hey, I'm not perfect. I
(06:55):
wasn't entirely honest, because again I wasn't ready. But now
that I've experienced this, I see the world in a
different way, and even to the point where people that
(07:15):
I love so much and that I thought we're friends,
this has made me see people for who they really
are and what part they should play in my life. Now.
(07:44):
It's crazy how so much pain can open your eyes
to like a different world to appreciating life in a
different way, which is why I felt it so deep
within me to express this, to let you guys know,
especially my listeners, like my loyal listeners that listen to
(08:06):
my podcast, because I never want to steer you guys
in the wrong way, in any way, and the only
way to change lives is to be completely honest, and
I always say that, So this is I feel like
the only thing that I need to clear up. Other
than that I've been honest about everything. It's just something
(08:29):
so personal and because my mom never knew, she never
found out, she didn't even know I was pregnant. You guys, ever,
I don't know what I was doing at nineteen year olds,
how I got there, Like I drove myself. I had
to stay there, like it was like it was a
whole DNC it was that did happen? And I just
(08:50):
I only told an aunt and I said that in
my podcast, and I don't know if she ever shared
it with anyone, but I was really close to her then.
And no, it's not my mom's sister. It's another aunt,
one of my uncle's wives, that I told, And I
don't think she ever said anything. She never told my mom.
(09:10):
So I just felt like it's not fair. I guess
in a way, I feel weird, Like I never thought
I was going to say it, to be honest, I
never thought I had to because I always thought about
my mom too. I'm like, Okay, well that's not cool,
like she's not here and she didn't know, but you
know what, I'm grown. I'm sure my mom would understand. Now.
(09:34):
You know, I was just young and I was scared
and I was not ready, and it's something I do
think about all the time. And if anything, I want
to apologize to that partner. And I won't say his name,
but for sure, once he knows my age and how
(09:57):
old I was, he's gonna know. But I just don't
feel fair. He's happy now and I'm so happy for
him and his wife and they have three beautiful boys.
And I just feel like everything happened the way it
was supposed to happen, and Ynada, I just wanted to
get that off my chest. You guys says it was
killing me. I was like, I can't, I can't sleep,
Like it was just something that was really like weighing
(10:18):
heavy on me because of this whole experience and I
just believe in being fair, and I just feel like
it wasn't fair to that pregnancy, you know what I mean.
It's weird. I don't even know if I'm making sense,
but I just feel like it wasn't fair to the
pregnancy I just had, or the pregnancy that I had
at nineteen. I'm like, let me just come out in
(10:38):
the open and just bring it to light, because now
I know more than ever who I am and where
I want to go and the impact I want to
have in this world. That I'm okay with letting you
guys know. Hey, guys, I'm not perfect. I know a
lot of people have probably gone through this and haven't
(10:59):
told a soul, and that's okay. I mean, it's up
to you if you don't want to tell everyone or
put it on a podcast, you know. But for me,
I just felt like this is part of my mission,
you know, in this world, and especially after this weekend,
you guys, I had three shows. I went on stage
(11:23):
with the worst back pain, you guys, And that's also
part of the miscarriage. I didn't know. I've never experienced
a back pain like this. I don't even like taking
ibuprofen or taila oh, I'm like try my best to
be very like holistic and you know, take natural things.
But I was in so much pain, like I it was.
(11:44):
It was insane, but we got through it. And it's
crazy because the first show I had for the am
onth this tour, I was pregnant and I didn't know
how I was going to feel going on stage, and
like you know what I mean, like because the first show,
I felt so powerful, I felt like invincible. Was this
crazy feeling I felt. I just felt like I had
(12:06):
this glow about me, and I was afraid that I
wasn't going to have that for these shows. And I
had a great time at my shows. I did hydrate
very important. I'm gonaeting Ivy today too, because you know,
got to care myself. But I felt very sad in
the first show. I cried a little bit when I
(12:27):
was singing Sino Tubi Rasiloyes got very like watery because
of the lyrics and what that song means to me
and like obviously like it's a very special song to
a media as well, but I just I cried a
little bit. And then after that, after the first show,
I felt a little bit better. And then the second
and third Children's Third show was I think the hardest physically,
but emotionally I felt I felt pretty good. I felt
(12:49):
fine again. I think it's because of the faith that
I haven't got and like in the higher power that
helped me heal from this. I don't think I'm completely
healed yet from from what happened, but I'm definitely I
feel better every single day. Physically, I'm still feeling a
little weird. I'm not supposed to work out. I think
what really messed me up, you guys, was I was
(13:10):
feeling fine and then I got on the bike for
forty five minutes, and then after that the back paint came.
And the lady that helps me at the house. You know,
she's a Mexican lady, so they know all these like
you know, cosas, caaseiras and like all. I feel like
the Mexican ladies, the older ladies know everything. So she
told me, she's like, you weren't supposed to work out.
You have to be careful. Your uterus is still healing,
(13:32):
even if you're feeling like better. And I think that
that's like I had. I was like, damn like and
I think that's what started the whole back paint. It's
still not one hundred percent gone, but it's getting better,
and I have faith it'll get better because in a
few days I'm flying out because I have another two shows.
(14:02):
I just wanted to kind of tell you guys where
I'm at and how I'm feeling, and let you guys
know that I am okay. Because a lot of people
were worried. They couldn't believe that I was gonna go
back on tour. I did get a lot of those
messages like I think you should cancel. I did get
an angry person that was like, oh my god, that's
so responsible. I can't believe you're going on tour. But
(14:23):
I'm fine, you guys, I'm okay. I have a great
team around me. I'm taking precaution as well. I'm doing
what I got to do, and being on stage makes
me happy, Like feeling the love that you guys give me.
When I'm on stage, I loss, and you know, all
of that makes me feel full and happy. So I'm good.
(14:49):
Emilia is also okay. People ask me about that. How
is he? He's a lot better. I'm telling you, every
day we're understanding more and more, and I just feel
like this situation happened because I needed to also see
things that I can better within myself and with my
surroundings and people around me. It's unfortunate that this had
(15:13):
to happen in order for me to open my eyes
and see certain things. And I guess accept it certain things,
but I I'm always just grateful for every experience because
I feel like through every experience, you grow and you
mature and you learn, and I'm definitely still seeing little
(15:38):
by little what the blessing behind this unfortunate event, because
there's always something good that we can pull from sad situations.
So I'm still on that journey and this was part
of it. I just wanted to talk to you guys
and open up about them because I didn't want to,
(16:02):
like feel like I was misleading you guys in any way.
And I think it'll also help my healing journey. And yeah,
I mean, if there is someone that's watching or listening
and maybe doesn't see me the same anymore, I'm okay
with that. I completely understand. I am a person that
respects everyone's opinion and I'm sorry if I let you
(16:26):
down in any way. But I also want to be
loved and completely loved and accepted for who I am,
which is why I felt so comfortable letting Emilia know
this because I want him to love me, flaws and all,
and I don't want to have any skeletons in the
(16:48):
closet or secrets or pretend to be someone that I'm
not to be loved and to be accepted. So if
there are people here that want to unsubscribe or unfollow
me on social media or I'm okay with it because
I also, like I said, I love people for who
(17:11):
they are and that's the only thing I want in
my life. I want it to be completely reciprocated. So
if anything, I'm again I apologize, and the people that
have been with me since day one and continue to
be with me and will continue to be with me,
I love you, and I could just promise you from
(17:31):
this day forward that there is nothing else that I
feel that I need to say or anything else that
I wouldn't be okay with speaking about. To be honest, like,
I am in such a good place in my life
where I'm like, I know who I am, I know
where I'm going, I know what I want to do
in this world, that there's nothing that I wouldn't feel
(17:55):
comfortable talking about at this point and just saying, hey, here,
this is what I think. These are my belief this
is what I've done wrong or things that I'm not
proud of, or whatever it may be. I don't know,
but I just want to say thank you to everyone
for listening and for being here with me, and and
(18:17):
so be it whatever happens from here. I mean, I
always say that, and I feel good. I feel free.
I feel like there it's out there. I don't have
to hide it. I don't have to like you know
what I mean, like just for the sake of not
upsetting certain people. And it's just like, you know what,
(18:38):
this is me, and that's all I can give you
is me, my real self, and I would just hope
that you love me for who I amen. So you,
guys again, thank you so much for listening, for being here,
for being a part of this family, Chiky's and Chill,
(18:59):
for listening to dear Cheeky's as well. I am very
grateful and I appreciate you and you and you and
all of you, and I'll catch you on the next
episode of Cheeky's and Chill. Thank you, guys. This is
(19:20):
a production of iHeartRadio and Mike with Podcast Network. Follow
us on Instagram at Mike Withura Podcasts, and follow me
Cheeky's That's c h i q u i s. For
more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your favorite shows.
Hello, everyone, Welcome to this week's episode of Cheeky's and Chill.
Thank you so much for taking the time to listen.
Thank you for loving my podcast. I get a lot
of great comments you guys. I just had a few
shows this weekend and a lot of people are like,
I listen to your podcast, Thank you so much. It's
such an inspiration and that makes me happy because that's
(00:32):
all I ever want to do you guys, is in
some way be an inspiration and make you guys feel empowered.
And if I can prevent you from making mistakes like
I've made, that is what this podcast and my whole life,
my singing, my books, everything that I do, that is
like my main focus. Well, this is going to be
(00:54):
an episode where it's just you and I again, me
the mic and you. So what I want to talk
to you guys about today is something that has been
on my heart for about a week now. It's been
in my prayer and meditation time and I spoke to
a few people about it, like what do you think
I kind of want to say this, and some people said, yes,
(01:20):
I think you should. I think if you have that
in your heart and you want to express it, I
think you should other said no that I shouldn't, but
I always do what I want to do. I follow
my heart. There's a lot of heart in this episode
right now. But that's my truth right now, and I
(01:42):
just I feel like, in a way it's going to
liberate me. I don't know just the whole thing that happened,
you guys, with my miscarriage. And I got a lot
of love messages, a lot of comments, a lot of
dms from you guys that listen to my podcast. Thank
you so much. Again, I don't know where to start.
I don't know how I'm even going to star this.
I guess I'm just going to dig deep and I'm
(02:04):
going to wean this because there's no right or wrong
way to say. In reality, this is just something that
I wanted to share because my miscarriage put a lot
of things into perspective for me, and I just don't
feel right keeping something like this in, especially since I've
been so honest and upfront with you guys about almost
everything in my life. But I want to say it
(02:28):
was season one or season two of Cheeese and Chill
were now in the third season. I've sprinkled it in
here and there, in regards to a miscarriage I said
I had when I was nineteen. That wasn't the entire truth.
I did not feel comfortable with stating my truth, and
now I feel comfortable now, I feel ready because it
(02:54):
was actually I decided to terminate the pregnancy. I don't
know if termination is worse than abortion. I don't know,
but I just I guess. I'm still uncomfortable with the vocabulary.
Even saying miscarriage is a little weird to me, like, oh,
I had a misca It's still very weird to me.
It sounds, it feels weird. So anyways, it was my choice.
(03:14):
At nineteen years old, that's when it happened. I said
I had a miscarriage. It's a secret I've carried for
since then. The person that I was with then doesn't
even know. I hope this is It's sad, but I
don't have any communication with him. But this is how
he's going to find out as well. I told him
that it was a miscarriage. I went by myself. I
(03:39):
was nineteen years old. I was very afraid of my mom,
not because I just didn't want to disappoint her. I
think that's why I was afraid of her, not because
she was going to like kick me out or anything
like that. I think it was more of like disappointing her.
I always seek her approval, and definitely, at nineteen years old,
I was not ready. And I guess I just feel
(04:02):
like I have to confess it in a way because
now that I've really experienced a miscarriage, this was my
very first miscarriage, I don't feel like it's fair. It's
fair to say that, and it doesn't feel right inside
of me, especially with everything that the healing journey I've
been on for the past few years. It just doesn't
feel right. And that's why I wanted to let you
(04:24):
guys know. And I apologize if I let anyone down.
I apologize if maybe I'll lose some followers or some listeners,
because I know that that's a very touchy subject. And
I have also expressed on my podcast it I am
pro choice. That's just my opinion. That's my belief. I
(04:47):
feel that as women we should have and decide what
we do with our bodies. And that's just my opinion,
and I respect everyone else's opinion. So I also so
understand if people will be upset with me. I just
someone told me, you're like teekies. Don't don't say it.
You don't have to, like you know, there's even friends
(05:10):
that had no idea that are in my life now.
And I told him, I said, I just have to
say this because I honestly thought about it. I thought,
I said, oh my gosh, like, is this because I
had an abortion before that this happened and all the
reproductive issues that I've had, Is it because of that?
You know? I'm not gonna lie and say that. I
didn't think that. But when I was in Albuquerque at
(05:31):
the hospital, the doctor there was so amazing and she
told me, because of course, you have to give them
all of your you know, your health history, and and
I did, and I told her, I told her, you know, yes,
and a media already knew this. Him and I before,
I think a week before he asked me to marry him,
we had this deep conversation in Las Vegas. We both
(05:52):
like sat at a bar and we just told each
other everything, stuff that he's gone through and he has
done that he's not proud of. And I confess this.
I said, I just want you to know everything about me.
And I just feel better since that conversation. So even
friends of mine who are really close to me, I
(06:13):
never told them. Uh. And one of my friends was like,
I don't think that you need to tell people this
because you know how people or some people can be
with you, especially the media. They're going to talk bad
about you. And I'm just like, you know what. At first,
I was like, yeah, you're right, I'm not going to
say anything, but it just didn't. It was bothering me.
(06:35):
And that's like my gut feeling, my intuition saying it's okay.
The people that love you are going to love you regardless,
and maybe you can help other people. And that's what
I want to do, is like I want to help
people and I want to show you guys at the
end of the day, like, hey, I'm not perfect. I
(06:55):
wasn't entirely honest, because again I wasn't ready. But now
that I've experienced this, I see the world in a
different way, and even to the point where people that
(07:15):
I love so much and that I thought we're friends,
this has made me see people for who they really
are and what part they should play in my life. Now.
(07:44):
It's crazy how so much pain can open your eyes
to like a different world to appreciating life in a
different way, which is why I felt it so deep
within me to express this, to let you guys know,
especially my listeners, like my loyal listeners that listen to
(08:06):
my podcast, because I never want to steer you guys
in the wrong way, in any way, and the only
way to change lives is to be completely honest, and
I always say that, So this is I feel like
the only thing that I need to clear up. Other
than that I've been honest about everything. It's just something
(08:29):
so personal and because my mom never knew, she never
found out, she didn't even know I was pregnant. You guys, ever,
I don't know what I was doing at nineteen year olds,
how I got there, Like I drove myself. I had
to stay there, like it was like it was a
whole DNC it was that did happen? And I just
(08:50):
I only told an aunt and I said that in
my podcast, and I don't know if she ever shared
it with anyone, but I was really close to her then.
And no, it's not my mom's sister. It's another aunt,
one of my uncle's wives, that I told, And I
don't think she ever said anything. She never told my mom.
(09:10):
So I just felt like it's not fair. I guess
in a way, I feel weird, Like I never thought
I was going to say it, to be honest, I
never thought I had to because I always thought about
my mom too. I'm like, Okay, well that's not cool,
like she's not here and she didn't know, but you
know what, I'm grown. I'm sure my mom would understand. Now.
(09:34):
You know, I was just young and I was scared
and I was not ready, and it's something I do
think about all the time. And if anything, I want
to apologize to that partner. And I won't say his name,
but for sure, once he knows my age and how
(09:57):
old I was, he's gonna know. But I just don't
feel fair. He's happy now and I'm so happy for
him and his wife and they have three beautiful boys.
And I just feel like everything happened the way it
was supposed to happen, and Ynada, I just wanted to
get that off my chest. You guys says it was
killing me. I was like, I can't, I can't sleep,
Like it was just something that was really like weighing
(10:18):
heavy on me because of this whole experience and I
just believe in being fair, and I just feel like
it wasn't fair to that pregnancy, you know what I mean.
It's weird. I don't even know if I'm making sense,
but I just feel like it wasn't fair to the
pregnancy I just had, or the pregnancy that I had
at nineteen. I'm like, let me just come out in
(10:38):
the open and just bring it to light, because now
I know more than ever who I am and where
I want to go and the impact I want to
have in this world. That I'm okay with letting you
guys know. Hey, guys, I'm not perfect. I know a
lot of people have probably gone through this and haven't
(10:59):
told a soul, and that's okay. I mean, it's up
to you if you don't want to tell everyone or
put it on a podcast, you know. But for me,
I just felt like this is part of my mission,
you know, in this world, and especially after this weekend,
you guys, I had three shows. I went on stage
(11:23):
with the worst back pain, you guys, And that's also
part of the miscarriage. I didn't know. I've never experienced
a back pain like this. I don't even like taking
ibuprofen or taila oh, I'm like try my best to
be very like holistic and you know, take natural things.
But I was in so much pain, like I it was.
(11:44):
It was insane, but we got through it. And it's
crazy because the first show I had for the am
onth this tour, I was pregnant and I didn't know
how I was going to feel going on stage, and
like you know what I mean, like because the first show,
I felt so powerful, I felt like invincible. Was this
crazy feeling I felt. I just felt like I had
(12:06):
this glow about me, and I was afraid that I
wasn't going to have that for these shows. And I
had a great time at my shows. I did hydrate
very important. I'm gonaeting Ivy today too, because you know,
got to care myself. But I felt very sad in
the first show. I cried a little bit when I
(12:27):
was singing Sino Tubi Rasiloyes got very like watery because
of the lyrics and what that song means to me
and like obviously like it's a very special song to
a media as well, but I just I cried a
little bit. And then after that, after the first show,
I felt a little bit better. And then the second
and third Children's Third show was I think the hardest physically,
but emotionally I felt I felt pretty good. I felt
(12:49):
fine again. I think it's because of the faith that
I haven't got and like in the higher power that
helped me heal from this. I don't think I'm completely
healed yet from from what happened, but I'm definitely I
feel better every single day. Physically, I'm still feeling a
little weird. I'm not supposed to work out. I think
what really messed me up, you guys, was I was
(13:10):
feeling fine and then I got on the bike for
forty five minutes, and then after that the back paint came.
And the lady that helps me at the house. You know,
she's a Mexican lady, so they know all these like
you know, cosas, caaseiras and like all. I feel like
the Mexican ladies, the older ladies know everything. So she
told me, she's like, you weren't supposed to work out.
You have to be careful. Your uterus is still healing,
(13:32):
even if you're feeling like better. And I think that
that's like I had. I was like, damn like and
I think that's what started the whole back paint. It's
still not one hundred percent gone, but it's getting better,
and I have faith it'll get better because in a
few days I'm flying out because I have another two shows.
(14:02):
I just wanted to kind of tell you guys where
I'm at and how I'm feeling, and let you guys
know that I am okay. Because a lot of people
were worried. They couldn't believe that I was gonna go
back on tour. I did get a lot of those
messages like I think you should cancel. I did get
an angry person that was like, oh my god, that's
so responsible. I can't believe you're going on tour. But
(14:23):
I'm fine, you guys, I'm okay. I have a great
team around me. I'm taking precaution as well. I'm doing
what I got to do, and being on stage makes
me happy, Like feeling the love that you guys give me.
When I'm on stage, I loss, and you know, all
of that makes me feel full and happy. So I'm good.
(14:49):
Emilia is also okay. People ask me about that. How
is he? He's a lot better. I'm telling you, every
day we're understanding more and more, and I just feel
like this situation happened because I needed to also see
things that I can better within myself and with my
surroundings and people around me. It's unfortunate that this had
(15:13):
to happen in order for me to open my eyes
and see certain things. And I guess accept it certain things,
but I I'm always just grateful for every experience because
I feel like through every experience, you grow and you
mature and you learn, and I'm definitely still seeing little
(15:38):
by little what the blessing behind this unfortunate event, because
there's always something good that we can pull from sad situations.
So I'm still on that journey and this was part
of it. I just wanted to talk to you guys
and open up about them because I didn't want to,
(16:02):
like feel like I was misleading you guys in any way.
And I think it'll also help my healing journey. And yeah,
I mean, if there is someone that's watching or listening
and maybe doesn't see me the same anymore, I'm okay
with that. I completely understand. I am a person that
respects everyone's opinion and I'm sorry if I let you
(16:26):
down in any way. But I also want to be
loved and completely loved and accepted for who I am,
which is why I felt so comfortable letting Emilia know
this because I want him to love me, flaws and all,
and I don't want to have any skeletons in the
(16:48):
closet or secrets or pretend to be someone that I'm
not to be loved and to be accepted. So if
there are people here that want to unsubscribe or unfollow
me on social media or I'm okay with it because
I also, like I said, I love people for who
(17:11):
they are and that's the only thing I want in
my life. I want it to be completely reciprocated. So
if anything, I'm again I apologize, and the people that
have been with me since day one and continue to
be with me and will continue to be with me,
I love you, and I could just promise you from
(17:31):
this day forward that there is nothing else that I
feel that I need to say or anything else that
I wouldn't be okay with speaking about. To be honest, like,
I am in such a good place in my life
where I'm like, I know who I am, I know
where I'm going, I know what I want to do
in this world, that there's nothing that I wouldn't feel
(17:55):
comfortable talking about at this point and just saying, hey, here,
this is what I think. These are my belief this
is what I've done wrong or things that I'm not
proud of, or whatever it may be. I don't know,
but I just want to say thank you to everyone
for listening and for being here with me, and and
(18:17):
so be it whatever happens from here. I mean, I
always say that, and I feel good. I feel free.
I feel like there it's out there. I don't have
to hide it. I don't have to like you know
what I mean, like just for the sake of not
upsetting certain people. And it's just like, you know what,
(18:38):
this is me, and that's all I can give you
is me, my real self, and I would just hope
that you love me for who I amen. So you,
guys again, thank you so much for listening, for being here,
for being a part of this family, Chiky's and Chill,
(18:59):
for listening to dear Cheeky's as well. I am very
grateful and I appreciate you and you and you and
all of you, and I'll catch you on the next
episode of Cheeky's and Chill. Thank you, guys. This is
(19:20):
a production of iHeartRadio and Mike with Podcast Network. Follow
us on Instagram at Mike Withura Podcasts, and follow me
Cheeky's That's c h i q u i s. For
more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your favorite shows.
Host
Chiquis
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