June 5, 2023 • 47 mins
It’s a very special episode because Chiquis is giving us all the details about her recent engagement! She tells us all about the trip where her now-fiancé Emilio popped the question, how he prepared for the big day and how their families reacted to the news. Chiquis also reveals the doubts she had about the relationship before the proposal and explains how she finally realized she’s worthy of love.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
You just said all these beautiful things. It was very short,
sweet and to the point. And then he just asked
if I would marry him. I asked Amelia, I was like, well,
who knows. He's like, well, everybody that's important to you know?
So I'm like, what my siblings know? And He's like yes,
I asked Johnny for your hand. The crazy thing is
(00:24):
I was telling them a week before. I'm like, you
guys like, I feel like I don't deserve a media
like I feel like I have to let him go.
This is literally a week ago, a week before our engagement.
Hello everyone, and welcome back to a very special episode
of Cheese and Chew. I'm your host Cheeky's and guess what,
(00:46):
I'm engaged. I seriously can't believe it either. I know right,
I'm so excited and I can't wait to share all
the details with you all right here on my podcast.
So without further ado, let's talk about how I'm on
my way to the altar to say I do. This
is Cheeky's and Chill. I feel like there's so much
(01:09):
I want to say, but I think a good place
to start is in the beginning. When a media and
I first started dating. I know I've shared some of
this in previous episodes you guys, but I want to
share some of it again because I want you guys
to hear about all the growth that's happened that has
led us to this next stage in our relationship. So
we'll start there and then we'll get into the details
of the proposal. All right, So, Emilia, when I met
(01:32):
the first time during Quarantine, I want to say it
was May of twenty twenty, and that's the very first
time I had ever seen him, I had ever heard
his name. Becky and I did a song Becky Chan
and I, who is very good friends with Emilio. They
actually like call each other cousins. Becky and I did
a song Joline that was on my album playlist, and
(01:56):
Quarantine happened, and we had to do the pictures and
everything because it was going to be a single, we
had to do the video, so we had to come
up with like a really cool and creative way of
making it happen. So we did an animated video music video,
and we needed a bunch of pictures. So that's when
I first met at Media. Because Becky wanted it to
(02:17):
be someone that she knew and that she trusted and
that had already gotten tested and came out negative. So
I said, okay, cool. Usually I'm like, oh, I really
like my photographer. You know, I've been using them for
a long time. His name is Francis Bernard, so shout
out to him and anyway, so I said, okay, cool. Yes,
she said, okay, he's he already got like tested and
(02:39):
he should go to the house. Everything was happening from
our homes. We had to do like the whole setup.
She did her pictures at her house. I did my
pictures at my house, and so when a media got there,
I was like, oh, hi, I was at that time,
you guys going through a separation for the first time,
because if you guys didn't know, I was, you know,
previously married. So that was the first time when him
(03:00):
and I got separated after getting married. And that's when
I met Emilio. He was out of the house, my
ex was out of the house, and it was a
very weird time. But anyways, I still had to work.
I was pushing through. He was a photographer and me,
I was a photographer. We spent like hours together because
I had to do all these weird and crazy positions
or like not positions because that sounds a little sexual.
Because we were like I had to shoot like a gun.
(03:21):
I had to like get on my knees. It was
like so crazy because he had us take steals in
order to make it like move and make it animated
and stuff. I don't really know much about that stuff,
but anyways, we met. I remember telling him, I was like, hey,
you have really pretty eyeballs and they said, hey, oh, thanks,
like he looked at me like that's kind of weird,
and I just never forgot. Oh that was it, right,
That's the first time we met. He was very respectful,
(03:42):
very professional, and he left. He said that he felt
like there was something there. But then towards the end
of the day, I was just kind of like nonchalant,
and I think I was maybe because I was still
trying to figure out my personal situation. So anyways, fast
forwarding to twenty twenty one. March of twenty twenty one,
my sister and I, Jenica, we did like a surprise
party for Becky at my house again, and we didn't
(04:06):
really invite anyone. Well, we invited some people, but most
of everyone got invited because of Becky's mom. We were
surprising Becky, so we had her invite like all her
close friends and people that she really cared about, and
Emilio was one of the invites. That was March first
of twenty twenty one, and that's when I saw Emilio again.
So I was getting ready. People were already getting there.
(04:26):
The setup was already done, and of course when you're hosting,
you're like the last one to come out because, like
you know, you're taking care of all the details. So
finally I got myself ready and I was coming out
of my glamor room and he was walking in from
the backyard where the party was at, and I remember
we just made eye contact and it kind of just
like all came back, you guys. Like it was like, oh, shoot,
that's the guy with the pretty eyeballs, and so we
(04:48):
smiled and we both kind of just looked at each
other and we gave each other a hug. I was like, oh, hey,
you're that guy the photographer. He's like yeah, and he's like, yeah,
I just came from work. So I'm just kind of
like sorry if I'm like a little thinking like no,
you're totally fine. He's like yeah, I was trying to
make sure I got here before Becky, so I was like, no,
you're good. So anyways, we started taking shots. Like I
sat next to him, like I felt very comfortable. By
this time, I was already like very separated, you guys,
(05:10):
like completely separate, and nothing was there, Like I was single, single,
one hundred percent. Just wanted to put that out there. Anyway,
So we were chilling and flirting and then you know,
I told him that I wanted to poke his dimples
because I love his dimple. So I said, hey, can
I poke your dimples? Well before that, I guess the
sink to my restroom wet him or something like that,
(05:31):
and he's like, hey, your sink just like freaking spit
at me. And I was like, oh my god, I
made a huge mess. Whatever. So I went in there
and like helped him clean it up, and you know,
that's like the first I think, like, Well, we laughed
and it was like cute because we were in the
bathroom together, and then the buzz started and then that's
when I was like, hey, I want to poke your dimple.
He's like, yeah, you could do whatever you want. And
I was like, oh, shoot, okay, So I was like, okay,
he's into me, and then we kissed. He kissed me,
(05:53):
he followed me into like one of the rooms, and
I kind of was kind of like giving him the hint,
like come like, hey, what's up, you know, and he
got so he followed me and we kissed, and yeah,
that's how we're kind of here. So ever since then,
I was very honest with him, you guys, very straightforward.
I said, you know what, I don't want to make
the same mistake I made in my past relationships, and
I want to be better in every way I want
(06:14):
to learn because I also wasn't perfect and my past relationship,
and I was like, I want to do things right.
So that night, I told him, Hey, I don't know
what's going on here, but I just want you to
know that I'm broken, I am still healing from my
past relationship. I'm still married. I'm trying to get divorced.
(06:38):
He's not really cooperating. I don't know how long it's
going to take, but I just want to let you
know this is my situation and I'm going through some
things with my extended family and I'm just very sad
and I'm not ready to be in a relationship. But
I like you and I'd like to spend time with you.
And if you're down, then cool. But I am. I'm
(06:59):
not in a good place emotion And I just remember
him looking into my eyes. He's like, it's okay, there's
no need for you to do this alone. I can
help you heal. I was like, okay, thank you. I
thought it was really sweet, but I knew from like
therapy that the healing was in my hands, it was
my responsibility. But it was nice to hear someone say, hey, like,
you don't have to do this by yourself. You don't
(07:20):
have to be alone to figure this out. Little did
I know at that time. I didn't find out until
months later that a media had just gotten out of
a relationship. He was in a relationship for like four years,
on and off. They had their own issues. I feel
like it's not my place to talk about it, but
they had just like officially broken up in January, so
that was fairly fresh. And he was on like this
(07:41):
fitness thing, working out, eating healthy, like he was just
really focused on work and you know, being healthy during
that time. I think because he was also going through
a heartbreak, so I was very worried that we were
each other's rebound to be honest, and we had these
deep conversations. I was like, hey, I one time, I
(08:01):
remember asking him, Hey, do you miss your ex girlfriend?
And he said, I, actually, I'm not gonna lie, I
kind of do, and I remember like my feelings being hurt.
But then I was like, dude, at least he's being honest.
And I asked, and you know, that's my bad, I
guess for asking. But from the beginning we had these beautiful, honest,
raw conversations, and I think we helped each other, you
(08:25):
know what I mean, Like I'm telling you that that's
why I think I waited, because we did talk about marriage,
like in the first year of our relationship, and you know,
and I have now been together for two years and
five months something like that. So in the first year
of our relationship, we did kind of talk about marriage.
We mentioned it, and I wasn't ready to talk about
it because it took me a whole year. You guys
(08:47):
are a little bit more to actually get divorced, to
get the papers for it to be completed and finalized.
It was so tough, you guys. That's a whole other conversation.
But I feel like I need to mention it just
because our relationship did start with me still being married.
And I would tell him, I'm like, you know what,
like I just feel bad, Like I feel like I
shouldn't be starting a new relationship without first really finalizing
(09:09):
my past, you know, because I don't want it to
affect us, and I just don't want to bring that
energy into this. But I think because we had those
conversations and he was doing therapy and I was doing therapy,
it just kind of helped us out with having those difficult,
sometimes very difficult conversations. And I just said, you know what,
like we've kind of mentioned marriage here and there just
(09:31):
came up, you know, because we would go to a
weddings or something like that and kids and stuff, and
I just had to tell him one day, I'm like,
you know what, I don't want to talk about marriage.
I don't want to talk about children. I just want
to enjoy this. And to be honest, I'm scared. I'm
afraid I am a little tainted. I'm a little jaded
when it comes to that. I think because of what
(09:54):
had just happened to me, and I felt somewhat like
vamboozled or fooled. And not only that, but you know
my mom, she had her fair share of separations and divorces,
and it's just something that has always It's not that
I'm scared of commitment. I guess it was more of
I tried it and then I felt like it bit
(10:15):
me in the ass, but only because even when I
was proposed to then I knew. I was like, I
know that I'm ready, I just don't know if he's ready,
you know. And I ignored that. I ignored it, and
even on the wedding day, like I was just I
ignored it. And it's crazy because it's like everything happens
for a reason. I'm kind of jumping everywhere, you guys,
(10:37):
and I'm so sorry. It's because, like I feel like
I want to say so much, but I feel like
everything happens for a reason. Like I really had to
experience that relationship, that marriage, that separation, that divorce in
order to really appreciate what was coming. And now I
understand everything, and now I see myself for who I
am now and who I was then, and I'm very
(10:58):
intentional in making changes because I also had a lot
to do with why that relationship didn't work. It couldn't
work like I did, ignore a lot of red flags
I didn't understand, and allowing the other person to be
their individual self. I was brought up with marriage. Two
(11:20):
people become one, and it's somewhat of like a controlling thing,
you know what I mean, Like you need to tell
me where you're at at all times and the whole thing,
and that could be a little suffocating to a person.
And I think I probably suffocated him without wanting to.
It's like when you love something, you just want to
make sure they're okay, and you want to kind of
save them from themselves because you know, he wasn't perfect.
(11:42):
So I'm glad I was able to just experience that
and go through that, and I feel like it prepared
me for a Meilio, you know, and for this engagement,
for this moment in my life that I wasn't sure
if I was ready for, to be honest, and I'll
explain all that right now, but I thought that it
was important for you guys to hear all of this
because through this relationship, I've been able to really heal.
(12:04):
I've done the work. He's helped me do the work.
I think the fact that we're on the same page,
and we both came from a heartbreak. It helped us
both get to this point, if that makes sense, you know.
And I have forgiven my past, and I have forgiven
myself for the mistakes that I made, and I forgive
my ex. And I can honestly say I'm healed, and
(12:26):
I wish him the best, and I wish him happiness
and he deserves it. And I think we were just
young and wanted to just I don't know. I think
it was like a moment thing, you know. So now
fast forward to this moment, to this present moment, because
I can honestly tell you guys that I'm happy, I'm
at peace. I didn't know, to be honest, that I
(12:50):
was ready. I just know for the past I want
to say, four months, I've had a little bit of
baby fever. I've thought a little bit about the wedding,
and then I'm like, no, no, no, no, because I have
told him like, I don't think it's necessary to get married.
I don't think that we need to get married. We
don't need a piece of paper to determine that we're
(13:11):
in love and to solidify the relationship, you know. And
he was very respectful, and he was very patient. So
I would tell him all these things. But for the
past four months, even in interviews when people would ask
me like, oh, do you see yourself getting married? We
see you so happy, like you know, he brings out
the best in you, and I'm like, actually, I have.
(13:31):
I've thought a little bit about it, like all by myself,
like and I would I'm just very transparent in interviews
and like that could be a good thing or a
bad thing. But I think that kind of also gave
him the confidence to say I'm going to do it,
you know, because I'd be like, yeah, I've actually thought
about it a little bit more, you know, marriage. And
he happened to be at a couple of these interviews.
(13:52):
I just was just talking and just responding to the questions.
And now that we're engaged and now like you know,
we're kind of talking about how and why and everything,
he kind of mentioned that, and I guess it just
made him very excited and feel like, you know, comfortable. So,
(14:13):
you know what, let's just talk about the trip. So
the trip that we took, which was to we went
to Zion National Parking You tall, you guys, him and
I are really into like nature and hiking and cycling
and the whole thing. The crazy thing is I've always
been into that. It's very Janee. I'm very like hippie
and you know, and he brought it all out in me. Again.
(14:36):
I think I was just so like focused on Cheeky's
for a while that I kind of ignored all the
things that Jane is into. I'm Jane, by the way, Okay,
I just want to clarify that. So AnyWho, we were
supposed to go to Yosemite and it happened to be
closed because we had just gone to Zion in March
to celebrate our two year anniversary and that was our
(14:56):
first time there together and I've always wanted to go
to Zion and I fell in love. I kept saying.
I was like, if I was a national park, I
would be Zion, And He's like, why would be Yosemite.
So that's where we were going to go for his
birthday to celebrate his thirty first birthday in Yosemite. But
with all the snow and the weather stuff that we've
been having, it was closed down and they weren't opening.
(15:19):
So by the time that it did open, and we
try to book our reservation. It was completely sold out.
So I was like, Okay, well let's go to Zion
and he's like, oh, but we just were there, and
I'm like, but it was so nice, Like we discovered
the park together, like it'll be your birthday trip. So
we looked into this place. We had stayed before at
the Zion Lodge inside of the park, but this time
(15:40):
we stayed outside and we got this villa and it
was like super awesome. So we drove up there on Saturday,
the day before his birthday, and we loved, you know,
taking road trips, like I like taking snacks and he
drives and I nap, you know, so we listened to music.
It's super fun, super fun. So anyways, we got there.
We got there little like in the evening, and we
(16:02):
had such a first beautiful night there, Like it was
so different from our first experience because we were in
the town and we weren't allowed to drive our own
car into the park, so we were just a little
nervous as I'm like, oh my god, like I'm excited,
but also I loved our first experience so much that
I'm like I was like, I'm a little scared. I'm
(16:23):
not gonna like this trip, but I kept it to myself.
I was like, I'm not it's his birthday. I'm not
going to complain. I'm going to really write this out
and figure this out. So anyways, we had a really
nice night. We chilled at the house, We got a
little buzz on, we had some wine, like, we unpacked everything.
We went to the story. There was like this reggae
band outside of our hotel, like and they were like
on the lawn playing live for like two and a
(16:43):
half hours. So we went there and we just sat
on the grass on a blanket. It was just him
and I. We got a few drinks, got a little
buzz and then we went to the grocery store to
kind of just like get everything ready for our hiking
trips that we were going to do. And that was it.
Then we woke up early the next morning, which is
his birthday on the twenty eighth, on Sunday. You know,
(17:04):
I had a little like birthday candle thing for him.
I had already given him his gift before we left,
which was a very nice gift. He was very happy.
I think I did really good, you guys. I got
him a Z nine nikon because he loves nicon. You know,
he's a photographer, So I got him a new camera
because I know he really needed it, and he was
so excited, you guys, he cried. It was so beautiful.
So anyways, I gave him a card and I just
(17:26):
like had like these. He loves donuts, so I found
this like donut candle and I just sang Happy Birthday,
and I gave him a card and then we got ready.
I made a sandwiches for our trip because you know,
we do the whole like backpack and we have like
our camel bats with the water a little freaking tube.
It's like super cute. Anyways, the reason I love it
so much is because I am just myself there. I'm
(17:47):
totally Jane, no hair, no makeup, like I mean, well
should I say no extensions. I don't do my hair,
I don't put on any makeup. I'm like in super
chill clothes. So that's like the best part for me,
and he loves it. So it was like, Okay, cool,
we're gonna have a great old time. So anyways, we
got ready for our hike, and I think we were
both very nervous. Now I know he was very nervous.
(18:09):
And why he was nervous. But I was nervous because
I'm like, oh my god, So we have to walk
from our villa to like this place where everyone's there
trying to get into the park. The line was crazy long,
you guys. I just kept trying to breathe because I
was like okay. Because he was nervous, He's like, oh
my god, like it's getting late. We were supposed to
leave the house like a little earlier, and we didn't.
(18:29):
So I was like, it's okay, babe, it's fine, Like
it's okay, let's just enjoy it. It took us about
like forty minutes, you guys, to get onto a shuttle
to get into the park, and we had to stand
the whole way into the park. And I was just
like cause I told him, I was like I kind
of want to sit, let's wait for the next shuttle,
and he's like, no, no, let's just go. I'm like, I
was like, okay. I just took a deep breath and
I was like, okay, I'm going to breathe through this
(18:50):
because I had to stand on my knees were hurting,
and we had to take this very strenuous hike and
I knew it was coming because I've done this high before.
It's called angels Landing in Zion, So I'm like, this
is this is a tough one and I still have
to stand here. So I'm like, it's okay, it's his birthday,
Janee chill, and I was being really cool. I was like, okay,
(19:10):
cool whatever. Finally we get on our hike. We started.
I was also very nervous because the last time we
went it was really cold and there was snow everywhere,
and this time it was very freaking hot, and I
was just like, oh my god, is this freaking hike
going to kick my ass? And it did. It did
kick my ass, but I am happy to say that
(19:31):
it didn't kick my ass as much as I thought
it was going to, and it was felt like a
little easier than the first time we did it. But anyways,
we get up there. I don't talk very much on
our hikes. It's very little like I'm more of like
I need a focus on what I'm doing. There were
a lot of people going up the mountain and coming down,
so it was very different from our first trip. So anyways,
you finally gets to the top, and usually what we
do is we find a place to sit down and
(19:54):
have our sandwiches that I made us and packed us,
you know, and then we always take a picture. We
have someone take a picture for us. But this time
he was super excited to use this gadget thing like
I don't know what it's called. I forgot, but you know,
you put your phone on it. It's a damn phone stand.
And you know, he was like super excited. He's like, okay, well,
let's find a spot. And it was really busy everywhere.
So there was this really pretty spot that he's like, oh,
(20:15):
this is where I want to take a picture, but
there were people sitting there. So he's like, you know what,
let's hike a little higher. And I was like okay.
I was like I didn't complain because the first time
we went, I was like I'm not going any further
than this, like I'm tired. But this time I'm like, okay,
let's go. I had a little bit more energy. So
we did hike up a little further and we found
this beautiful spot where there were like little cactuses and
am no pallet should I say? There were little flowers,
(20:38):
like pink flowers, and I was just like in awe
or whatever, and he was like trying to scout to
find like the perfect place for us to take a
picture and put his little you know thing up, And
I just thought he's just excited put his little thing up,
you know, to because he doesn't have to ask anyone
to take a picture of us. So anyways, we're like, okay,
this is a perfect spot, Like we'll take a picture here.
There's like some shade here, we'll sit here and have
our lunch before we you know, we start hiking down
(20:59):
and so he's like, hey, babe, you know, can you
stand right there? It was like right on like kind
of like on the edge, you know, where you could
see like how high we've we came up, and it
was a very pretty view. And I'm like yeah, So
I take my first picture and I'm like okay, you know,
and then he's like, okay, now, let's take one together.
So he comes and we take a picture together, and
then he goes like, okay, I'm gonna I'm going to
(21:19):
record a video now. I'm like, okay, cool. No, actually
I'm lying. No, he didn't say that. He's like, oh wait,
I'm going to take another picture. I'm put the time
around again, I'm like, okay, cool. So I turn around
like looking at the view while he's doing whatever, and
right when I turned back around to face him, I
see like he had grabbed something from his backpack and
he's like, babe, and then he said doodle because he
calls me doodle. I don't know why he calls me doodle.
(21:41):
I think because we have a doodle, like a multiple doodle.
I don't know, he calls me doodle. And I saw
the box and that's when in the moment where I
was like, oh, oh my god, and I just like
everything kind of just went into a daze and I'm like,
oh my gosh, I can crossed my mind. I'm like,
is it happening? And he just looked at me with
his big, old, beautiful hazel eyes and they were kind
(22:03):
of watery but not really. And then I'm like, what
is I told you? I asked him, I'll say, what's happening?
And he's like just started saying all kinds of beautiful
things and how I have come to just be a
positive force in his life, and that he once made
me a promise with like another ring, because he did
give me a promise ring that I lost you guys.
Oh my god, I lost the promise ring. I know,
(22:26):
my goodness. Anyways, so he's like, I gave you a
promise ring, and I just want to reinforce those promises
and just tell you how much I love you and
that I want to take care of you for the
rest of my life and I want to bring out
the best in you the way you've brought it out
in me. And he just said all these beautiful things.
It was very short, sweet and to the point. And
(22:47):
then he just asked if I would marry him, and
oh my god, I started crying. Like I was just
like crying. I was in disbelief because in the beginning,
I just felt like everything was a blur. I'm like,
is this really happening? It felt so surreal. I felt
like I was in a dream and now and I
was looking around, I was looking at the camera. I
was like, oh my god, it all makes sense. It
all just made so much sense in the moment that
(23:08):
I had to like really just pause and say, okay, Jenne,
you need to be present. So I had to like
close my eyes and take a deep breath. And then
once I opened up my eyes, I was listening to
everything he was saying. I was like, this is really happening.
And I didn't even want to look at the ring
because I was like low key kind of scared. I
was like, oh my god, like hopefully like it's it's
(23:28):
because it's not all about the ring, but like it's
kind of important. But I'm not like a superficial type
of girl materialistic in that way. I just wanted it
to be like something I liked. Okay, So anyways, I
just closed my eyes and then he opened up the
box and I was like, oh my god. That was
another thing where I was like, oh my god, it's perfect.
It's exactly what I want. It was just like perfect. Anyways,
he puts the ring on my finger. We hug, and
(23:51):
I'm just like super quiet, and he's like are you okay?
He's like, are you sure you're You're yes is a yes,
and I'm like yeah, no, no, no, it is I'm
just in shit and I'm just like so many things
are running through like my mind. And then finally we
just sat down and we had our lunch and he's like, Janey, like,
like I told you before, marriage is just something for
(24:12):
God to give us his blessing. And it's a spiritual
like thing for you and I It's not that I'm
going to take control of you. I'm trying to change you.
You're my property. He's like, I know that those things
are what keep you from wanting to get married. And
I'm like, yeah, like I still want to be myself,
Like I still you know, want to go out with
my friends and I still want to be me. And
(24:36):
he said, you know, and I've explained all of this
to him, and he said yeah, he says, I totally understand.
And I just want to help you in any way
that I can and support you and show you my
support every day. I just want this to bless our love,
you know. I want us to have a ceremony to
bless our love, not for anything else. And I'm like, okay,
(24:58):
And it just made me feel very safe, Like it
made me feel very very safe. And that's what he
makes me feel, you guys, I feel safe. I feel
like I can literally just trust him with my heart.
But anyways, so fine, we eat. It was really nice.
We take more pictures. We had no reception so we
couldn't really call anyone, so you know, we got down
(25:20):
the mountain. I think like in less than an hour,
like forty minutes. We like freaking. I guess it was
just the the adrenaline. I'm not too sure, but I
was kind of quiet on the way down. I'm usually
pretty quiet, But I don't know if he thought like, oh,
I'm gonna talk a little bit more. But I think
what it was, I was like I wasn't able to
like vocalize it out loud. That I think that's what
(25:41):
kind of like it was it was. I don't know.
I just I guess I didn't believe it. I was
in shock, you guys. So anyways, we get on the shuttle,
we sit finally get to sit, thank goodness. So we
get on the on the shuttle, we're sitting and we
sit next to these to this to these two couples,
older couples, and we just started talking and they were
telling that they weren't like, you know, retired, and that
(26:01):
they're going, you know, they're traveling all around the world.
They're doing different hikes. And I asked her, I said, oh,
how long have you guys been married. She's like, oh,
we've just got married a couple years ago, but we've
been together for about seven years and you know, she
was telling me the whole thing, and then she's like,
but them, they've been married for thirty two years. You know.
The people that were sitting across They were traveling with
this other couple, so they were sitting across us. I said,
oh nice, and then she said, well, how long have
(26:23):
you guys been together. I'm like, oh, well two years
and we just got engaged today, he's and I'm like,
and it's his birthday. And that's another thing, you guys.
When he was like proposing we have the video because
everything's on video and you can actually hear what I'm saying,
it's so cute. I was like, but it's your birthday, Emilio.
And he's like, you know what you said, you guys,
he said, and all I wanted was for you to say, yes,
(26:45):
That's all I've ever wanted for my birthday. Oh my god.
And I was like, oh oh, and my I started
like crying again. It was so pretty. So anyway, so
I let's go back to the shuttle. So I just
they were like, oh my god. The lady like started
screaming and I started crying again, and I think that's
in the moment. I was like it happened because they're like,
oh my god, your emotion. I'm like yeah, I was
(27:06):
like I think I just needed to tell someone because
there was no there's no reception in the park, you guys,
not until you get to like your hotel or your villa,
like you have Wi Fi. So I couldn't like call
anyone or you know. So I just told these random
people and I started crying. And he's like, oh my god.
He's like, I think it just hit you. I'm like, yes,
it just hit me. So then when we were on
our walk back from the shuttle to the villa, I
(27:28):
was like, oh my god. I was like Emilio, like,
what if we get married here or there? And he's
like wow. He looked at me, He's like really, I said, yeah,
why is it weird that I'm thinking about like the
wedding already. And he's like, no, that actually makes me
very happy. He's like, there's no rush. I want us
to like enjoy the engagement, but the fact that you're
thinking about it makes me very happy. And I was.
I genuinely was just excited and thinking where can we
(27:51):
do it? Do we want to like do it in
like a natury place for sure, it has to be
like nature esque for sure. I don't know if it's
going to be like I don't know, like the ocean,
the mountains or I just I know I want trees
and flowers and stuff around. That's all I see right now.
But anyways, so I think that's when it really hit me.
And then I just got super excited. And then finally
we started calling everyone. We called his mom, his grandma,
(28:12):
we told his grandma because his grandma's been wanting us
to get engaged for like, I think since the day
we met, and so everyone was super excited. My siblings knew,
so I that's one of the questions I asked Emilia.
I was like, well, who knows. He's like, well, everybody
that's important to you knows. I'm like, what my siblings know?
And he's like yes. I asked Johnny about a month
(28:33):
and a half ago, almost two months ago, for your hand.
I was like what, He's like, yeah. I took him
to eat and I asked him, you know, I told
him I wanted to marry you, and I asked him
for your hand. And I talked to your brother Mikey,
and he started telling me like how and when he
talked to each one of my siblings individually, which I
absolutely appreciate because I knew I wanted it to just
(28:55):
be him and I. I didn't want this whole show
or anything like being engaged. I wanted to be very private,
but I wanted my siblings to be aware. And he
told a few other people about it, and very key people,
and I just thought it was so beautiful of him
to just go out of his way without me having
(29:15):
to tell him, Like, it's just those little things. I'm like, oh,
it just gave me so much confirmation. And he told
me He's like, Johnny has helped me so much through
this whole thing. He's given me so much confidence, like
so much support. He went with me to go pick
up the ring, and those things just mean so much
to me. That my siblings knew that they were excited.
He's like, Jackie was so freaking excited. I got on
(29:36):
a FaceTime called with Jenica. She loved the ring. She's like,
oh my god, I love the band, Like the ring
is so beautiful, and you know, it's like all those
little things just I don't know, gave me confirmation. And
and that's what I told my siblings. I was like, guys,
I sent them, I said, before I posted, I sent
it to like you know, my siblings, and I said,
you know, Jennica was like, how do you feel. It's
like I'm happy, like I trust this man with my heart.
(29:58):
Like things aren't perfect and they never will be perfect.
I think, you know, it's a relationship is work every
single day. You have to choose your partner every single
day and it's it's work. And I've been one before
to just say I don't want to deal with this,
like I have too much on my plate, but I've
learned that it's so much better to live your life
(30:21):
with a companion. And I don't know, like you know,
you hear all like that independent woman like I can
do it myself, you know, and yes, but I don't know.
I want to kind of break that, like you know,
and and and really do my part to make this
work and learn to see the good in him, because
(30:43):
I think it's just as humans, it's so much easier
for us to point out the negative things in people
or the things that they do wrong, but when in
reality you put it on a list of like pros
and cons, if the pros and the good things and
the positive things outweigh the negative things the cons then
it's just like you know that you're with the right
person because everything else you can work on. There are
(31:05):
certain things like I feel like obviously cheating and drugs
and like having addictions and stuff like that, like or
freaking being you know, verbally, physically, emotionally abused. Those things
are like a huge red flags that you can't ignore.
But there are other things, you know that can be
worked through, you know, And I think it just clicked.
(31:27):
I don't know how to explain it that in that moment,
it just clicked. I'm like, everything that's happening in my
life right now, because it's been a very tough month,
it's happening for a reason. And it was like to
prepare me for this moment to just really appreciate what
I have standing in front of me. I mean, I'm
(31:51):
already thinking of dates, I'm already thinking of locations, and
I didn't expect this. I do want us to just
enjoy the engagement and still do our couple's therapy because
there are things that we're working through, and start seeing
those things as as a good thing, not necessarily bad things,
you know, And the fact that I have someone that's
(32:12):
willing to try and willing to do anything and everything
to make me happy and to make me smile, and
that means so much to me, you know. And I'm
just choosing to trade fear for faith and leave everything
in contents. And if we're meant to have kids, it'll happen.
(32:33):
And it's okay that he's seven years younger than me,
you know, because sometimes I would let that kind of
you know, get into my head and be like, oh
my god, but he's seven years younger and this and
that and blah blah blah, Like okaya, stop stop. We
have to learn to just think. And I talk to
you guys about this so much, and it's so much
easier for me to help other people and guide them
(32:54):
and give them advice. And sometimes I mean, this must
happen to all of you guys. To take our own
advice and to put it practice. What we preach is
a little bit harder. I mean, I'm very intentional and
every day being what I talk about, but there are
days that it is hard and I'm just like I
want to run and just throw in the towel and
just say f at all. And you know, but I
(33:15):
guess I was a little afraid of marriage, but now
I am just seeing everything for what it is, and
I am excited and I'm happy and I feel happy
and I feel blessed and I feel just excited. That's
what I feel right now. So I don't know. I'll
keep you guys updated as to when, and I just
have to figure out the details. But right now I'm
(33:36):
enjoying it and I love the ring very much. I
think he did very, very, very good, and I think
it's awesome. Awesome, you guys, because I even thought I
was like, oh my god, if I would have known
that I was going to get proposed to today on
his birthday, which I thought was so selfless of him.
It's so beautiful. I at least would have brushed my
hair a little more. I would have put on a
little bit of makeup. But I'm like, no, this is
(33:57):
the beauty of it, this is us, this is what
we love to do. He loves it When I'm like,
you know, just Jene, no makeup, hairs of mess, he
loves it that. I'm like, it was perfect and it
was in my favorite like one of my favorite places
in the world. Zion, you guys on the top of
like Angels landing. He made me work for it. Okay,
it was like an hour and a half hike, almost
(34:17):
two and then on the way down, but it was
just so amazing. It was it was just so nice.
Everything just happened the way it was supposed to, Like
even getting on the shuttle. It was just perfect. I can't.
We were talking about it and we were tripping out
on everything like how it connected and how everything just
worked out so nicely. And then the next few days
(34:39):
that we were there we were just able to just
enjoy our engagement together. And someone in Zion, I don't
know who. I still don't know who if she's listening
to the podcast, her name is Maria p. She left
us outside of our villa a cute little gift. It
was like a marriage base and a necklace of necklace
and just said congratulations. It was just so nice and
(34:59):
so thoughtful that I just want to thank that person.
I said thank you on Instagram. But still, like it
was the last few days that we were there in
Zion after the engagement, it was nice. We cooked, we
hung out, we like had dinner together, We had hikes,
we went on bike rides. It was just so nice.
It was so nice, and I'm so glad he did
it in the beginning of the trip because we were able
(35:20):
to just enjoy our engagement together and peacefully and just us.
So that's that. Hopefully I didn't drive you guys too
crazy with like my going back and forth, but I
did feel it was important to just explain everything the beginning,
what I've been through and how I'm so grateful for
my past. And I think that that's how we have
(35:40):
to see things, you guys like. We can't hold onto, resentment,
onto fear, none of those things because it makes us sick.
And we have to forgive people and forgive ourselves in
order to move forward and in order to allow God
to send us the right people, the right situations in
our life. And I feel that after all of that pain,
(36:01):
after that dark time in my life, I can say, honestly,
I can look back and say thank you. I had
to go through that, I had to fall on my
knees in order to get back up stronger, you know. So,
I've gotten a lot of beautiful messages from you guys.
I have a lot of dms, a lot of comments.
Thank you so much for being excited for me. I
can tell you guys that I feel like I'm in
(36:22):
really good hands. I really truly believe it, and if anything,
I can be honest with you guys. For a long
time in my past relationships, I would say this relationship
isn't going to end because of my fault. And with Emilio,
there was a time, you guys, that I felt that
I didn't deserve him because I felt he was more
(36:43):
ready than I was. And I just felt and I
told him a few times, like I just think I'm
not ready for you. I can't give you what you deserve.
I can't give you I can't give you myself right
now because I need to just really figure things out.
And he was just like, if that's what you really want,
it's going to break my heart. But I don't think
that you need to do it alone. I am here
(37:04):
to help you. I am patient, Like you have a
partner that wants to help you and is willing to
do anything and everything. And I think I was just
being like a little resistant, and I felt like, Okay,
if this relationship ends, it's not going to be his fault,
like he's doing everything right, It's going to be my fault.
And ever since the engagement it switched. I'm just like, no,
(37:26):
I really want to take care of this relationship and
I have someone that absolutely adores me and loves me,
and I deserve it, you know. Because the crazy thing is,
I'm sorry, I'm crying, But the crazy thing is I
had just told Tony and Jessica are my makeup you know,
Jessica's my makeup artist and Tony is my hairstylist. I
had just I was telling them a week before. I'm like, you, guys,
(37:48):
like I feel like I don't deserve a media Like
I feel like I have to let him go. This
is literally a week ago, a week before our engagement,
and I just said, I feel like I can't I
disappoint him, Like I can't give him what I want
to give him right now. Like I'm just so focused
on work and I still want to do certain things
(38:09):
and certain things bother him, and I just I want
to be kind of like be able to be myself,
you know. And Jessica was like, you know, you have
a good one, Like I think that you really just
need to have a deep conversation with him. And the
weekend before his birthday, weekend, we went to Vegas and
we had this crazy ass long talk just him and
(38:33):
I at the bar in Vegas. We got a little
buzz and I told him everything. Everything that was just
I need to get off my chest, things that have
happened in my past that I haven't told anybody. You guys,
I said, I'm just gonna lay it all out. I'm
gonna freaking tell him everything that I feel and how
I'm afraid and how I still want to be me
and I want him to respect that, and I want
him to be himself. And I want to be okay
(38:53):
with him going on trips with his friends, Like I
don't want it to just be one sided, Like I
really want to have that healthy relationship of hey, babe,
I'm gonna go on a trip with my friends for
the weekend, and I want to be genuinely okay with it,
like I don't. I used to be very controlling before,
and controlling because yes, people would do certain things and
it would make me feel like, oh my god, let
(39:15):
me hang on tight, let me save you from yourself
sort of thing. And in this relationship, I'm like, I
don't want to be that way. I don't want to
suffocate I don't want to hold onto tight because when
you hold on too tight, they're gonna want to like
get loose. You know, when you hold onto anything too tight,
it's just it's you're gonna suffocate it. That's the best
way I can put it. So anyways, we had that
(39:35):
conversation and I'm like, Okay, Zion is gonna be like
our new beginning. I was telling myself this. I was
like okay, because again I was thinking, I'm like I
have to let him go. So anyway, so once we
got engaged and everything, Tony texts me and he remembered
our conversation and he's like, Babe, I'm so happy for you.
You guys deserve each other. You deserve this. And I
(39:58):
had to read that and I was like, yes, I
deserve this. I deserve this moment. I just deserve this person.
I deserve to be loved this way. I deserve this ring.
I deserve these days of like not doing anything and
just embracing nature and doing the things that make me
absolutely happy. Like something switched out there. You guys, like,
I can't even explain it. It has to do with like
(40:19):
just being out in one of my favorite places, getting
engaged and I don't know. I'm just things I could
just see clearly. And right now it's my birthday month
and I'm doing a cleanse and other cleans you guys,
I love cleanses. You guys know me because I just
want to set the tone like I feel like this
is the beginning of a new gene of a new
(40:40):
life for me obviously for me and my partner. And yeah,
I deserve this and I'm happy and I just really
now I could say I truly believe it. So anyways,
I just let it all out here. And for those
of you wondering, yes, I am going to take his
last name. I will be Janey Sanchez. He deserves Yeah. Absolutely,
(41:02):
And Vanessa, my friend Vanessa Sanchez, is very happy about it.
She's like, oh my god, we're gonna be Sanchez is together.
But yes, the plan is to definitely take his name,
and I am very happy and excited to do that.
So I love his family. His family loves me, and
I love them all. Shout out to all of the
Sanchez family who has just welcomed me with their arms
(41:22):
and their hearts wide open. He has a beautiful family,
you guys. I love his mother. I love his grandma,
his aunts is just his nano. Everyone's so nice to me,
and I'm just happy. I'm happy that I'm gonna have
like a beautiful family. So yeah, that's it, guys. I'm
being a cry baby, but it's just it's nice. I
(41:45):
feel like I've gone through so much in my life
and no one's ever loved me this way. No one,
I can honestly tell you, like, no one has ever
loved me the way he loves me, not my family,
not my parents, like his page, and he literally tells
me I'm beautiful every single day. And it's just it's nice.
(42:06):
It's nice. And if I can just wrap up this
episode with something for you guys that speaking from personal experience.
Sometimes I think because what we have gone through and
sometimes maybe even the things that we've done, we feel
like we don't deserve to be loved the right way,
(42:29):
or we don't believe in love anymore. We think, oh,
there's no way that there is a perfect man out
there for me, and there isn't because no one is perfect.
You're not perfect. I'm not perfect. You're not going to
find a perfect person. It's picking and choosing your battles.
If you find someone, and it definitely the good things
outweigh the bad things, and that's an indication of like,
(42:51):
stay there. It's worth working towards it, you know, communication,
but first and foremost, it's important that you you feel
that you deserve it. The crazy thing is I would
go back and forth like I'm like, well, yeah, like
(43:11):
God set me this person. It has to be for
a reason. But then we would have an argument or
something would happen. I'm like, oh my god, I just
I feel like I just can't give him what he expects,
what he wants, what he deserves. And a little did
I know that I mentally was drawing more of that
like to my life because I was so focused on that,
(43:33):
you know what I mean, And and like there has
to be a switch where we're like, wait, no, I
deserve this. I absolutely deserve to be loved the right way.
I deserve to be happy. I deserve to have a
person in my life that is willing to work at
the relationship the way I'm willing to do that, you
know what I mean. And I think that that's like
it's a constant thing and it's something that like I'm
(43:54):
telling you, therapy has helped me and just saying these
things out loud, even to you guys, and being vulvulnerable
enough to say it out loud. Once you hear it
out loud, then it just kind of sets and you're like, okay, wait, no,
you know what you have to work on once you
hear it out loud, if that makes sense. So, more
than anything, just believe in love, know that it's out there.
(44:15):
Don't give up. Even if you've kissed a few frogs.
It's okay. Those frogs were supposed to be in your
life because you are also a lesson in their life
for them to also appreciate the next person hopefully that
comes into their life. And forgiving your past is another thing.
Forgive your past, know that everything and everyone comes into
your life for a reason. Sounds cliche, but it's very true.
(44:39):
And forgiving and really letting go it's the best advice.
And really working on yourself and being intentional and adamant
about becoming the best version of yourself so that you
can attract what you want and what you need for
your life. Well that's my story, you guys, and I
hope that I am able to help you guys, and
(45:01):
anyway by sharing my experiences with you guys, and I
feel like honesty is literally the best policy, and that's
who I am. I'm transparent and I just pray that
through what I share, it helps you, guys, become the
best versions of yourself. And I'm just so excited to
be marrying my best friend Emilio. I can honestly tell you, like,
(45:25):
I'm just happy and I'm so grateful and I thank
God that I'm able to share life with a person
that just understands me the way he does so and
I don't he doesn't bore me, which is so crazy.
I have so much fun with him. I was like,
oh my god, you don't get on my nerves. Well, yeah,
he gets on my nerve sometimes I'm trying I get
on his nerves. But like, honestly, like it's so fun.
(45:48):
I've never been able to travel with someone just ourselves
and have so much fun. So anyways, I'm excited and
I just I don't know, I'm excited to just see
what the future holds for us together. Anyways, I love
you guys, Thank you for listening, and I will catch
you on the next episode here on Cheeky's and Chill Yay.
(46:11):
Do you need advice on love, relationships, health emails. I'm
so excited to share with you that my Cheekys and
Chill podcast will have an extra episode drop each week.
I'll be answering all your questions.
Speaker 2 (46:24):
Just leave me a voice message person a Monday. All
you have to do is go to speak pipe dot com,
slash Cheeky's and Chill podcast and record your questions.
Speaker 1 (46:34):
I can't wait to hear from you. This is a
production of iHeartRadio and the Micaeldura podcast Network. Follow us
on Instagram at Michaeldura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's
c h i q U i s. For more podcasts
from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
(46:56):
you listen to your favorite podcast, and check us out
on YouTube.
You just said all these beautiful things. It was very short,
sweet and to the point. And then he just asked
if I would marry him. I asked Amelia, I was like, well,
who knows. He's like, well, everybody that's important to you know?
So I'm like, what my siblings know? And He's like yes,
I asked Johnny for your hand. The crazy thing is
(00:24):
I was telling them a week before. I'm like, you
guys like, I feel like I don't deserve a media
like I feel like I have to let him go.
This is literally a week ago, a week before our engagement.
Hello everyone, and welcome back to a very special episode
of Cheese and Chew. I'm your host Cheeky's and guess what,
(00:46):
I'm engaged. I seriously can't believe it either. I know right,
I'm so excited and I can't wait to share all
the details with you all right here on my podcast.
So without further ado, let's talk about how I'm on
my way to the altar to say I do. This
is Cheeky's and Chill. I feel like there's so much
(01:09):
I want to say, but I think a good place
to start is in the beginning. When a media and
I first started dating. I know I've shared some of
this in previous episodes you guys, but I want to
share some of it again because I want you guys
to hear about all the growth that's happened that has
led us to this next stage in our relationship. So
we'll start there and then we'll get into the details
of the proposal. All right, So, Emilia, when I met
(01:32):
the first time during Quarantine, I want to say it
was May of twenty twenty, and that's the very first
time I had ever seen him, I had ever heard
his name. Becky and I did a song Becky Chan
and I, who is very good friends with Emilio. They
actually like call each other cousins. Becky and I did
a song Joline that was on my album playlist, and
(01:56):
Quarantine happened, and we had to do the pictures and
everything because it was going to be a single, we
had to do the video, so we had to come
up with like a really cool and creative way of
making it happen. So we did an animated video music video,
and we needed a bunch of pictures. So that's when
I first met at Media. Because Becky wanted it to
(02:17):
be someone that she knew and that she trusted and
that had already gotten tested and came out negative. So
I said, okay, cool. Usually I'm like, oh, I really
like my photographer. You know, I've been using them for
a long time. His name is Francis Bernard, so shout
out to him and anyway, so I said, okay, cool. Yes,
she said, okay, he's he already got like tested and
(02:39):
he should go to the house. Everything was happening from
our homes. We had to do like the whole setup.
She did her pictures at her house. I did my
pictures at my house, and so when a media got there,
I was like, oh, hi, I was at that time,
you guys going through a separation for the first time,
because if you guys didn't know, I was, you know,
previously married. So that was the first time when him
(03:00):
and I got separated after getting married. And that's when
I met Emilio. He was out of the house, my
ex was out of the house, and it was a
very weird time. But anyways, I still had to work.
I was pushing through. He was a photographer and me,
I was a photographer. We spent like hours together because
I had to do all these weird and crazy positions
or like not positions because that sounds a little sexual.
Because we were like I had to shoot like a gun.
(03:21):
I had to like get on my knees. It was
like so crazy because he had us take steals in
order to make it like move and make it animated
and stuff. I don't really know much about that stuff,
but anyways, we met. I remember telling him, I was like, hey,
you have really pretty eyeballs and they said, hey, oh, thanks,
like he looked at me like that's kind of weird,
and I just never forgot. Oh that was it, right,
That's the first time we met. He was very respectful,
(03:42):
very professional, and he left. He said that he felt
like there was something there. But then towards the end
of the day, I was just kind of like nonchalant,
and I think I was maybe because I was still
trying to figure out my personal situation. So anyways, fast
forwarding to twenty twenty one. March of twenty twenty one,
my sister and I, Jenica, we did like a surprise
party for Becky at my house again, and we didn't
(04:06):
really invite anyone. Well, we invited some people, but most
of everyone got invited because of Becky's mom. We were
surprising Becky, so we had her invite like all her
close friends and people that she really cared about, and
Emilio was one of the invites. That was March first
of twenty twenty one, and that's when I saw Emilio again.
So I was getting ready. People were already getting there.
(04:26):
The setup was already done, and of course when you're hosting,
you're like the last one to come out because, like
you know, you're taking care of all the details. So
finally I got myself ready and I was coming out
of my glamor room and he was walking in from
the backyard where the party was at, and I remember
we just made eye contact and it kind of just
like all came back, you guys. Like it was like, oh, shoot,
that's the guy with the pretty eyeballs, and so we
(04:48):
smiled and we both kind of just looked at each
other and we gave each other a hug. I was like, oh, hey,
you're that guy the photographer. He's like yeah, and he's like, yeah,
I just came from work. So I'm just kind of
like sorry if I'm like a little thinking like no,
you're totally fine. He's like yeah, I was trying to
make sure I got here before Becky, so I was like, no,
you're good. So anyways, we started taking shots. Like I
sat next to him, like I felt very comfortable. By
this time, I was already like very separated, you guys,
(05:10):
like completely separate, and nothing was there, Like I was single, single,
one hundred percent. Just wanted to put that out there. Anyway,
So we were chilling and flirting and then you know,
I told him that I wanted to poke his dimples
because I love his dimple. So I said, hey, can
I poke your dimples? Well before that, I guess the
sink to my restroom wet him or something like that,
(05:31):
and he's like, hey, your sink just like freaking spit
at me. And I was like, oh my god, I
made a huge mess. Whatever. So I went in there
and like helped him clean it up, and you know,
that's like the first I think, like, Well, we laughed
and it was like cute because we were in the
bathroom together, and then the buzz started and then that's
when I was like, hey, I want to poke your dimple.
He's like, yeah, you could do whatever you want. And
I was like, oh, shoot, okay, So I was like, okay,
he's into me, and then we kissed. He kissed me,
(05:53):
he followed me into like one of the rooms, and
I kind of was kind of like giving him the hint,
like come like, hey, what's up, you know, and he
got so he followed me and we kissed, and yeah,
that's how we're kind of here. So ever since then,
I was very honest with him, you guys, very straightforward.
I said, you know what, I don't want to make
the same mistake I made in my past relationships, and
I want to be better in every way I want
(06:14):
to learn because I also wasn't perfect and my past relationship,
and I was like, I want to do things right.
So that night, I told him, Hey, I don't know
what's going on here, but I just want you to
know that I'm broken, I am still healing from my
past relationship. I'm still married. I'm trying to get divorced.
(06:38):
He's not really cooperating. I don't know how long it's
going to take, but I just want to let you
know this is my situation and I'm going through some
things with my extended family and I'm just very sad
and I'm not ready to be in a relationship. But
I like you and I'd like to spend time with you.
And if you're down, then cool. But I am. I'm
(06:59):
not in a good place emotion And I just remember
him looking into my eyes. He's like, it's okay, there's
no need for you to do this alone. I can
help you heal. I was like, okay, thank you. I
thought it was really sweet, but I knew from like
therapy that the healing was in my hands, it was
my responsibility. But it was nice to hear someone say, hey, like,
you don't have to do this by yourself. You don't
(07:20):
have to be alone to figure this out. Little did
I know at that time. I didn't find out until
months later that a media had just gotten out of
a relationship. He was in a relationship for like four years,
on and off. They had their own issues. I feel
like it's not my place to talk about it, but
they had just like officially broken up in January, so
that was fairly fresh. And he was on like this
(07:41):
fitness thing, working out, eating healthy, like he was just
really focused on work and you know, being healthy during
that time. I think because he was also going through
a heartbreak, so I was very worried that we were
each other's rebound to be honest, and we had these
deep conversations. I was like, hey, I one time, I
(08:01):
remember asking him, Hey, do you miss your ex girlfriend?
And he said, I, actually, I'm not gonna lie, I
kind of do, and I remember like my feelings being hurt.
But then I was like, dude, at least he's being honest.
And I asked, and you know, that's my bad, I
guess for asking. But from the beginning we had these beautiful, honest,
raw conversations, and I think we helped each other, you
(08:25):
know what I mean, Like I'm telling you that that's
why I think I waited, because we did talk about marriage,
like in the first year of our relationship, and you know,
and I have now been together for two years and
five months something like that. So in the first year
of our relationship, we did kind of talk about marriage.
We mentioned it, and I wasn't ready to talk about
it because it took me a whole year. You guys
(08:47):
are a little bit more to actually get divorced, to
get the papers for it to be completed and finalized.
It was so tough, you guys. That's a whole other conversation.
But I feel like I need to mention it just
because our relationship did start with me still being married.
And I would tell him, I'm like, you know what,
like I just feel bad, Like I feel like I
shouldn't be starting a new relationship without first really finalizing
(09:09):
my past, you know, because I don't want it to
affect us, and I just don't want to bring that
energy into this. But I think because we had those
conversations and he was doing therapy and I was doing therapy,
it just kind of helped us out with having those difficult,
sometimes very difficult conversations. And I just said, you know what,
like we've kind of mentioned marriage here and there just
(09:31):
came up, you know, because we would go to a
weddings or something like that and kids and stuff, and
I just had to tell him one day, I'm like,
you know what, I don't want to talk about marriage.
I don't want to talk about children. I just want
to enjoy this. And to be honest, I'm scared. I'm
afraid I am a little tainted. I'm a little jaded
when it comes to that. I think because of what
(09:54):
had just happened to me, and I felt somewhat like
vamboozled or fooled. And not only that, but you know
my mom, she had her fair share of separations and divorces,
and it's just something that has always It's not that
I'm scared of commitment. I guess it was more of
I tried it and then I felt like it bit
(10:15):
me in the ass, but only because even when I
was proposed to then I knew. I was like, I
know that I'm ready, I just don't know if he's ready,
you know. And I ignored that. I ignored it, and
even on the wedding day, like I was just I
ignored it. And it's crazy because it's like everything happens
for a reason. I'm kind of jumping everywhere, you guys,
(10:37):
and I'm so sorry. It's because, like I feel like
I want to say so much, but I feel like
everything happens for a reason. Like I really had to
experience that relationship, that marriage, that separation, that divorce in
order to really appreciate what was coming. And now I
understand everything, and now I see myself for who I
am now and who I was then, and I'm very
(10:58):
intentional in making changes because I also had a lot
to do with why that relationship didn't work. It couldn't
work like I did, ignore a lot of red flags
I didn't understand, and allowing the other person to be
their individual self. I was brought up with marriage. Two
(11:20):
people become one, and it's somewhat of like a controlling thing,
you know what I mean, Like you need to tell
me where you're at at all times and the whole thing,
and that could be a little suffocating to a person.
And I think I probably suffocated him without wanting to.
It's like when you love something, you just want to
make sure they're okay, and you want to kind of
save them from themselves because you know, he wasn't perfect.
(11:42):
So I'm glad I was able to just experience that
and go through that, and I feel like it prepared
me for a Meilio, you know, and for this engagement,
for this moment in my life that I wasn't sure
if I was ready for, to be honest, and I'll
explain all that right now, but I thought that it
was important for you guys to hear all of this
because through this relationship, I've been able to really heal.
(12:04):
I've done the work. He's helped me do the work.
I think the fact that we're on the same page,
and we both came from a heartbreak. It helped us
both get to this point, if that makes sense, you know.
And I have forgiven my past, and I have forgiven
myself for the mistakes that I made, and I forgive
my ex. And I can honestly say I'm healed, and
(12:26):
I wish him the best, and I wish him happiness
and he deserves it. And I think we were just
young and wanted to just I don't know. I think
it was like a moment thing, you know. So now
fast forward to this moment, to this present moment, because
I can honestly tell you guys that I'm happy, I'm
at peace. I didn't know, to be honest, that I
(12:50):
was ready. I just know for the past I want
to say, four months, I've had a little bit of
baby fever. I've thought a little bit about the wedding,
and then I'm like, no, no, no, no, because I have
told him like, I don't think it's necessary to get married.
I don't think that we need to get married. We
don't need a piece of paper to determine that we're
(13:11):
in love and to solidify the relationship, you know. And
he was very respectful, and he was very patient. So
I would tell him all these things. But for the
past four months, even in interviews when people would ask
me like, oh, do you see yourself getting married? We
see you so happy, like you know, he brings out
the best in you, and I'm like, actually, I have.
(13:31):
I've thought a little bit about it, like all by myself,
like and I would I'm just very transparent in interviews
and like that could be a good thing or a
bad thing. But I think that kind of also gave
him the confidence to say I'm going to do it,
you know, because I'd be like, yeah, I've actually thought
about it a little bit more, you know, marriage. And
he happened to be at a couple of these interviews.
(13:52):
I just was just talking and just responding to the questions.
And now that we're engaged and now like you know,
we're kind of talking about how and why and everything,
he kind of mentioned that, and I guess it just
made him very excited and feel like, you know, comfortable. So,
(14:13):
you know what, let's just talk about the trip. So
the trip that we took, which was to we went
to Zion National Parking You tall, you guys, him and
I are really into like nature and hiking and cycling
and the whole thing. The crazy thing is I've always
been into that. It's very Janee. I'm very like hippie
and you know, and he brought it all out in me. Again.
(14:36):
I think I was just so like focused on Cheeky's
for a while that I kind of ignored all the
things that Jane is into. I'm Jane, by the way, Okay,
I just want to clarify that. So AnyWho, we were
supposed to go to Yosemite and it happened to be
closed because we had just gone to Zion in March
to celebrate our two year anniversary and that was our
(14:56):
first time there together and I've always wanted to go
to Zion and I fell in love. I kept saying.
I was like, if I was a national park, I
would be Zion, And He's like, why would be Yosemite.
So that's where we were going to go for his
birthday to celebrate his thirty first birthday in Yosemite. But
with all the snow and the weather stuff that we've
been having, it was closed down and they weren't opening.
(15:19):
So by the time that it did open, and we
try to book our reservation. It was completely sold out.
So I was like, Okay, well let's go to Zion
and he's like, oh, but we just were there, and
I'm like, but it was so nice, Like we discovered
the park together, like it'll be your birthday trip. So
we looked into this place. We had stayed before at
the Zion Lodge inside of the park, but this time
(15:40):
we stayed outside and we got this villa and it
was like super awesome. So we drove up there on Saturday,
the day before his birthday, and we loved, you know,
taking road trips, like I like taking snacks and he
drives and I nap, you know, so we listened to music.
It's super fun, super fun. So anyways, we got there.
We got there little like in the evening, and we
(16:02):
had such a first beautiful night there, Like it was
so different from our first experience because we were in
the town and we weren't allowed to drive our own
car into the park, so we were just a little
nervous as I'm like, oh my god, like I'm excited,
but also I loved our first experience so much that
I'm like I was like, I'm a little scared. I'm
(16:23):
not gonna like this trip, but I kept it to myself.
I was like, I'm not it's his birthday. I'm not
going to complain. I'm going to really write this out
and figure this out. So anyways, we had a really
nice night. We chilled at the house, We got a
little buzz on, we had some wine, like, we unpacked everything.
We went to the story. There was like this reggae
band outside of our hotel, like and they were like
on the lawn playing live for like two and a
(16:43):
half hours. So we went there and we just sat
on the grass on a blanket. It was just him
and I. We got a few drinks, got a little
buzz and then we went to the grocery store to
kind of just like get everything ready for our hiking
trips that we were going to do. And that was it.
Then we woke up early the next morning, which is
his birthday on the twenty eighth, on Sunday. You know,
(17:04):
I had a little like birthday candle thing for him.
I had already given him his gift before we left,
which was a very nice gift. He was very happy.
I think I did really good, you guys. I got
him a Z nine nikon because he loves nicon. You know,
he's a photographer, So I got him a new camera
because I know he really needed it, and he was
so excited, you guys, he cried. It was so beautiful.
So anyways, I gave him a card and I just
(17:26):
like had like these. He loves donuts, so I found
this like donut candle and I just sang Happy Birthday,
and I gave him a card and then we got ready.
I made a sandwiches for our trip because you know,
we do the whole like backpack and we have like
our camel bats with the water a little freaking tube.
It's like super cute. Anyways, the reason I love it
so much is because I am just myself there. I'm
(17:47):
totally Jane, no hair, no makeup, like I mean, well
should I say no extensions. I don't do my hair,
I don't put on any makeup. I'm like in super
chill clothes. So that's like the best part for me,
and he loves it. So it was like, Okay, cool,
we're gonna have a great old time. So anyways, we
got ready for our hike, and I think we were
both very nervous. Now I know he was very nervous.
(18:09):
And why he was nervous. But I was nervous because
I'm like, oh my god, So we have to walk
from our villa to like this place where everyone's there
trying to get into the park. The line was crazy long,
you guys. I just kept trying to breathe because I
was like okay. Because he was nervous, He's like, oh
my god, like it's getting late. We were supposed to
leave the house like a little earlier, and we didn't.
(18:29):
So I was like, it's okay, babe, it's fine, Like
it's okay, let's just enjoy it. It took us about
like forty minutes, you guys, to get onto a shuttle
to get into the park, and we had to stand
the whole way into the park. And I was just
like cause I told him, I was like I kind
of want to sit, let's wait for the next shuttle,
and he's like, no, no, let's just go. I'm like, I
was like, okay. I just took a deep breath and
I was like, okay, I'm going to breathe through this
(18:50):
because I had to stand on my knees were hurting,
and we had to take this very strenuous hike and
I knew it was coming because I've done this high before.
It's called angels Landing in Zion, So I'm like, this
is this is a tough one and I still have
to stand here. So I'm like, it's okay, it's his birthday,
Janee chill, and I was being really cool. I was like, okay,
(19:10):
cool whatever. Finally we get on our hike. We started.
I was also very nervous because the last time we
went it was really cold and there was snow everywhere,
and this time it was very freaking hot, and I
was just like, oh my god, is this freaking hike
going to kick my ass? And it did. It did
kick my ass, but I am happy to say that
(19:31):
it didn't kick my ass as much as I thought
it was going to, and it was felt like a
little easier than the first time we did it. But anyways,
we get up there. I don't talk very much on
our hikes. It's very little like I'm more of like
I need a focus on what I'm doing. There were
a lot of people going up the mountain and coming down,
so it was very different from our first trip. So anyways,
you finally gets to the top, and usually what we
do is we find a place to sit down and
(19:54):
have our sandwiches that I made us and packed us,
you know, and then we always take a picture. We
have someone take a picture for us. But this time
he was super excited to use this gadget thing like
I don't know what it's called. I forgot, but you know,
you put your phone on it. It's a damn phone stand.
And you know, he was like super excited. He's like, okay, well,
let's find a spot. And it was really busy everywhere.
So there was this really pretty spot that he's like, oh,
(20:15):
this is where I want to take a picture, but
there were people sitting there. So he's like, you know what,
let's hike a little higher. And I was like okay.
I was like I didn't complain because the first time
we went, I was like I'm not going any further
than this, like I'm tired. But this time I'm like, okay,
let's go. I had a little bit more energy. So
we did hike up a little further and we found
this beautiful spot where there were like little cactuses and
am no pallet should I say? There were little flowers,
(20:38):
like pink flowers, and I was just like in awe
or whatever, and he was like trying to scout to
find like the perfect place for us to take a
picture and put his little you know thing up, And
I just thought he's just excited put his little thing up,
you know, to because he doesn't have to ask anyone
to take a picture of us. So anyways, we're like, okay,
this is a perfect spot, Like we'll take a picture here.
There's like some shade here, we'll sit here and have
our lunch before we you know, we start hiking down
(20:59):
and so he's like, hey, babe, you know, can you
stand right there? It was like right on like kind
of like on the edge, you know, where you could
see like how high we've we came up, and it
was a very pretty view. And I'm like yeah, So
I take my first picture and I'm like okay, you know,
and then he's like, okay, now, let's take one together.
So he comes and we take a picture together, and
then he goes like, okay, I'm gonna I'm going to
(21:19):
record a video now. I'm like, okay, cool. No, actually
I'm lying. No, he didn't say that. He's like, oh wait,
I'm going to take another picture. I'm put the time
around again, I'm like, okay, cool. So I turn around
like looking at the view while he's doing whatever, and
right when I turned back around to face him, I
see like he had grabbed something from his backpack and
he's like, babe, and then he said doodle because he
calls me doodle. I don't know why he calls me doodle.
(21:41):
I think because we have a doodle, like a multiple doodle.
I don't know, he calls me doodle. And I saw
the box and that's when in the moment where I
was like, oh, oh my god, and I just like
everything kind of just went into a daze and I'm like,
oh my gosh, I can crossed my mind. I'm like,
is it happening? And he just looked at me with
his big, old, beautiful hazel eyes and they were kind
(22:03):
of watery but not really. And then I'm like, what
is I told you? I asked him, I'll say, what's happening?
And he's like just started saying all kinds of beautiful
things and how I have come to just be a
positive force in his life, and that he once made
me a promise with like another ring, because he did
give me a promise ring that I lost you guys.
Oh my god, I lost the promise ring. I know,
(22:26):
my goodness. Anyways, so he's like, I gave you a
promise ring, and I just want to reinforce those promises
and just tell you how much I love you and
that I want to take care of you for the
rest of my life and I want to bring out
the best in you the way you've brought it out
in me. And he just said all these beautiful things.
It was very short, sweet and to the point. And
(22:47):
then he just asked if I would marry him, and
oh my god, I started crying. Like I was just
like crying. I was in disbelief because in the beginning,
I just felt like everything was a blur. I'm like,
is this really happening? It felt so surreal. I felt
like I was in a dream and now and I
was looking around, I was looking at the camera. I
was like, oh my god, it all makes sense. It
all just made so much sense in the moment that
(23:08):
I had to like really just pause and say, okay, Jenne,
you need to be present. So I had to like
close my eyes and take a deep breath. And then
once I opened up my eyes, I was listening to
everything he was saying. I was like, this is really happening.
And I didn't even want to look at the ring
because I was like low key kind of scared. I
was like, oh my god, like hopefully like it's it's
(23:28):
because it's not all about the ring, but like it's
kind of important. But I'm not like a superficial type
of girl materialistic in that way. I just wanted it
to be like something I liked. Okay, So anyways, I
just closed my eyes and then he opened up the
box and I was like, oh my god. That was
another thing where I was like, oh my god, it's perfect.
It's exactly what I want. It was just like perfect. Anyways,
he puts the ring on my finger. We hug, and
(23:51):
I'm just like super quiet, and he's like are you okay?
He's like, are you sure you're You're yes is a yes,
and I'm like yeah, no, no, no, it is I'm
just in shit and I'm just like so many things
are running through like my mind. And then finally we
just sat down and we had our lunch and he's like, Janey, like,
like I told you before, marriage is just something for
(24:12):
God to give us his blessing. And it's a spiritual
like thing for you and I It's not that I'm
going to take control of you. I'm trying to change you.
You're my property. He's like, I know that those things
are what keep you from wanting to get married. And
I'm like, yeah, like I still want to be myself,
Like I still you know, want to go out with
my friends and I still want to be me. And
(24:36):
he said, you know, and I've explained all of this
to him, and he said yeah, he says, I totally understand.
And I just want to help you in any way
that I can and support you and show you my
support every day. I just want this to bless our love,
you know. I want us to have a ceremony to
bless our love, not for anything else. And I'm like, okay,
(24:58):
And it just made me feel very safe, Like it
made me feel very very safe. And that's what he
makes me feel, you guys, I feel safe. I feel
like I can literally just trust him with my heart.
But anyways, so fine, we eat. It was really nice.
We take more pictures. We had no reception so we
couldn't really call anyone, so you know, we got down
(25:20):
the mountain. I think like in less than an hour,
like forty minutes. We like freaking. I guess it was
just the the adrenaline. I'm not too sure, but I
was kind of quiet on the way down. I'm usually
pretty quiet, But I don't know if he thought like, oh,
I'm gonna talk a little bit more. But I think
what it was, I was like I wasn't able to
like vocalize it out loud. That I think that's what
(25:41):
kind of like it was it was. I don't know.
I just I guess I didn't believe it. I was
in shock, you guys. So anyways, we get on the shuttle,
we sit finally get to sit, thank goodness. So we
get on the on the shuttle, we're sitting and we
sit next to these to this to these two couples,
older couples, and we just started talking and they were
telling that they weren't like, you know, retired, and that
(26:01):
they're going, you know, they're traveling all around the world.
They're doing different hikes. And I asked her, I said, oh,
how long have you guys been married. She's like, oh,
we've just got married a couple years ago, but we've
been together for about seven years and you know, she
was telling me the whole thing, and then she's like,
but them, they've been married for thirty two years. You know.
The people that were sitting across They were traveling with
this other couple, so they were sitting across us. I said,
oh nice, and then she said, well, how long have
(26:23):
you guys been together. I'm like, oh, well two years
and we just got engaged today, he's and I'm like,
and it's his birthday. And that's another thing, you guys.
When he was like proposing we have the video because
everything's on video and you can actually hear what I'm saying,
it's so cute. I was like, but it's your birthday, Emilio.
And he's like, you know what you said, you guys,
he said, and all I wanted was for you to say, yes,
(26:45):
That's all I've ever wanted for my birthday. Oh my god.
And I was like, oh oh, and my I started
like crying again. It was so pretty. So anyway, so
I let's go back to the shuttle. So I just
they were like, oh my god. The lady like started
screaming and I started crying again, and I think that's
in the moment. I was like it happened because they're like,
oh my god, your emotion. I'm like yeah, I was
(27:06):
like I think I just needed to tell someone because
there was no there's no reception in the park, you guys,
not until you get to like your hotel or your villa,
like you have Wi Fi. So I couldn't like call
anyone or you know. So I just told these random
people and I started crying. And he's like, oh my god.
He's like, I think it just hit you. I'm like, yes,
it just hit me. So then when we were on
our walk back from the shuttle to the villa, I
(27:28):
was like, oh my god. I was like Emilio, like,
what if we get married here or there? And he's
like wow. He looked at me, He's like really, I said, yeah,
why is it weird that I'm thinking about like the
wedding already. And he's like, no, that actually makes me
very happy. He's like, there's no rush. I want us
to like enjoy the engagement, but the fact that you're
thinking about it makes me very happy. And I was.
I genuinely was just excited and thinking where can we
(27:51):
do it? Do we want to like do it in
like a natury place for sure, it has to be
like nature esque for sure. I don't know if it's
going to be like I don't know, like the ocean,
the mountains or I just I know I want trees
and flowers and stuff around. That's all I see right now.
But anyways, so I think that's when it really hit me.
And then I just got super excited. And then finally
we started calling everyone. We called his mom, his grandma,
(28:12):
we told his grandma because his grandma's been wanting us
to get engaged for like, I think since the day
we met, and so everyone was super excited. My siblings knew,
so I that's one of the questions I asked Emilia.
I was like, well, who knows. He's like, well, everybody
that's important to you knows. I'm like, what my siblings know?
And he's like yes. I asked Johnny about a month
(28:33):
and a half ago, almost two months ago, for your hand.
I was like what, He's like, yeah. I took him
to eat and I asked him, you know, I told
him I wanted to marry you, and I asked him
for your hand. And I talked to your brother Mikey,
and he started telling me like how and when he
talked to each one of my siblings individually, which I
absolutely appreciate because I knew I wanted it to just
(28:55):
be him and I. I didn't want this whole show
or anything like being engaged. I wanted to be very private,
but I wanted my siblings to be aware. And he
told a few other people about it, and very key people,
and I just thought it was so beautiful of him
to just go out of his way without me having
(29:15):
to tell him, Like, it's just those little things. I'm like, oh,
it just gave me so much confirmation. And he told
me He's like, Johnny has helped me so much through
this whole thing. He's given me so much confidence, like
so much support. He went with me to go pick
up the ring, and those things just mean so much
to me. That my siblings knew that they were excited.
He's like, Jackie was so freaking excited. I got on
(29:36):
a FaceTime called with Jenica. She loved the ring. She's like,
oh my god, I love the band, Like the ring
is so beautiful, and you know, it's like all those
little things just I don't know, gave me confirmation. And
and that's what I told my siblings. I was like, guys,
I sent them, I said, before I posted, I sent
it to like you know, my siblings, and I said,
you know, Jennica was like, how do you feel. It's
like I'm happy, like I trust this man with my heart.
(29:58):
Like things aren't perfect and they never will be perfect.
I think, you know, it's a relationship is work every
single day. You have to choose your partner every single
day and it's it's work. And I've been one before
to just say I don't want to deal with this,
like I have too much on my plate, but I've
learned that it's so much better to live your life
(30:21):
with a companion. And I don't know, like you know,
you hear all like that independent woman like I can
do it myself, you know, and yes, but I don't know.
I want to kind of break that, like you know,
and and and really do my part to make this
work and learn to see the good in him, because
(30:43):
I think it's just as humans, it's so much easier
for us to point out the negative things in people
or the things that they do wrong, but when in
reality you put it on a list of like pros
and cons, if the pros and the good things and
the positive things outweigh the negative things the cons then
it's just like you know that you're with the right
person because everything else you can work on. There are
(31:05):
certain things like I feel like obviously cheating and drugs
and like having addictions and stuff like that, like or
freaking being you know, verbally, physically, emotionally abused. Those things
are like a huge red flags that you can't ignore.
But there are other things, you know that can be
worked through, you know, And I think it just clicked.
(31:27):
I don't know how to explain it that in that moment,
it just clicked. I'm like, everything that's happening in my
life right now, because it's been a very tough month,
it's happening for a reason. And it was like to
prepare me for this moment to just really appreciate what
I have standing in front of me. I mean, I'm
(31:51):
already thinking of dates, I'm already thinking of locations, and
I didn't expect this. I do want us to just
enjoy the engagement and still do our couple's therapy because
there are things that we're working through, and start seeing
those things as as a good thing, not necessarily bad things,
you know, And the fact that I have someone that's
(32:12):
willing to try and willing to do anything and everything
to make me happy and to make me smile, and
that means so much to me, you know. And I'm
just choosing to trade fear for faith and leave everything
in contents. And if we're meant to have kids, it'll happen.
(32:33):
And it's okay that he's seven years younger than me,
you know, because sometimes I would let that kind of
you know, get into my head and be like, oh
my god, but he's seven years younger and this and
that and blah blah blah, Like okaya, stop stop. We
have to learn to just think. And I talk to
you guys about this so much, and it's so much
easier for me to help other people and guide them
(32:54):
and give them advice. And sometimes I mean, this must
happen to all of you guys. To take our own
advice and to put it practice. What we preach is
a little bit harder. I mean, I'm very intentional and
every day being what I talk about, but there are
days that it is hard and I'm just like I
want to run and just throw in the towel and
just say f at all. And you know, but I
(33:15):
guess I was a little afraid of marriage, but now
I am just seeing everything for what it is, and
I am excited and I'm happy and I feel happy
and I feel blessed and I feel just excited. That's
what I feel right now. So I don't know. I'll
keep you guys updated as to when, and I just
have to figure out the details. But right now I'm
(33:36):
enjoying it and I love the ring very much. I
think he did very, very, very good, and I think
it's awesome. Awesome, you guys, because I even thought I
was like, oh my god, if I would have known
that I was going to get proposed to today on
his birthday, which I thought was so selfless of him.
It's so beautiful. I at least would have brushed my
hair a little more. I would have put on a
little bit of makeup. But I'm like, no, this is
(33:57):
the beauty of it, this is us, this is what
we love to do. He loves it When I'm like,
you know, just Jene, no makeup, hairs of mess, he
loves it that. I'm like, it was perfect and it
was in my favorite like one of my favorite places
in the world. Zion, you guys on the top of
like Angels landing. He made me work for it. Okay,
it was like an hour and a half hike, almost
(34:17):
two and then on the way down, but it was
just so amazing. It was it was just so nice.
Everything just happened the way it was supposed to, Like
even getting on the shuttle. It was just perfect. I can't.
We were talking about it and we were tripping out
on everything like how it connected and how everything just
worked out so nicely. And then the next few days
(34:39):
that we were there we were just able to just
enjoy our engagement together. And someone in Zion, I don't
know who. I still don't know who if she's listening
to the podcast, her name is Maria p. She left
us outside of our villa a cute little gift. It
was like a marriage base and a necklace of necklace
and just said congratulations. It was just so nice and
(34:59):
so thoughtful that I just want to thank that person.
I said thank you on Instagram. But still, like it
was the last few days that we were there in
Zion after the engagement, it was nice. We cooked, we
hung out, we like had dinner together, We had hikes,
we went on bike rides. It was just so nice.
It was so nice, and I'm so glad he did
it in the beginning of the trip because we were able
(35:20):
to just enjoy our engagement together and peacefully and just us.
So that's that. Hopefully I didn't drive you guys too
crazy with like my going back and forth, but I
did feel it was important to just explain everything the beginning,
what I've been through and how I'm so grateful for
my past. And I think that that's how we have
(35:40):
to see things, you guys like. We can't hold onto, resentment,
onto fear, none of those things because it makes us sick.
And we have to forgive people and forgive ourselves in
order to move forward and in order to allow God
to send us the right people, the right situations in
our life. And I feel that after all of that pain,
(36:01):
after that dark time in my life, I can say, honestly,
I can look back and say thank you. I had
to go through that, I had to fall on my
knees in order to get back up stronger, you know. So,
I've gotten a lot of beautiful messages from you guys.
I have a lot of dms, a lot of comments.
Thank you so much for being excited for me. I
can tell you guys that I feel like I'm in
(36:22):
really good hands. I really truly believe it, and if anything,
I can be honest with you guys. For a long
time in my past relationships, I would say this relationship
isn't going to end because of my fault. And with Emilio,
there was a time, you guys, that I felt that
I didn't deserve him because I felt he was more
(36:43):
ready than I was. And I just felt and I
told him a few times, like I just think I'm
not ready for you. I can't give you what you deserve.
I can't give you I can't give you myself right
now because I need to just really figure things out.
And he was just like, if that's what you really want,
it's going to break my heart. But I don't think
that you need to do it alone. I am here
(37:04):
to help you. I am patient, Like you have a
partner that wants to help you and is willing to
do anything and everything. And I think I was just
being like a little resistant, and I felt like, Okay,
if this relationship ends, it's not going to be his fault,
like he's doing everything right, It's going to be my fault.
And ever since the engagement it switched. I'm just like, no,
(37:26):
I really want to take care of this relationship and
I have someone that absolutely adores me and loves me,
and I deserve it, you know. Because the crazy thing is,
I'm sorry, I'm crying, But the crazy thing is I
had just told Tony and Jessica are my makeup you know,
Jessica's my makeup artist and Tony is my hairstylist. I
had just I was telling them a week before. I'm like, you, guys,
(37:48):
like I feel like I don't deserve a media Like
I feel like I have to let him go. This
is literally a week ago, a week before our engagement,
and I just said, I feel like I can't I
disappoint him, Like I can't give him what I want
to give him right now. Like I'm just so focused
on work and I still want to do certain things
(38:09):
and certain things bother him, and I just I want
to be kind of like be able to be myself,
you know. And Jessica was like, you know, you have
a good one, Like I think that you really just
need to have a deep conversation with him. And the
weekend before his birthday, weekend, we went to Vegas and
we had this crazy ass long talk just him and
(38:33):
I at the bar in Vegas. We got a little
buzz and I told him everything. Everything that was just
I need to get off my chest, things that have
happened in my past that I haven't told anybody. You guys,
I said, I'm just gonna lay it all out. I'm
gonna freaking tell him everything that I feel and how
I'm afraid and how I still want to be me
and I want him to respect that, and I want
him to be himself. And I want to be okay
(38:53):
with him going on trips with his friends, Like I
don't want it to just be one sided, Like I
really want to have that healthy relationship of hey, babe,
I'm gonna go on a trip with my friends for
the weekend, and I want to be genuinely okay with it,
like I don't. I used to be very controlling before,
and controlling because yes, people would do certain things and
it would make me feel like, oh my god, let
(39:15):
me hang on tight, let me save you from yourself
sort of thing. And in this relationship, I'm like, I
don't want to be that way. I don't want to
suffocate I don't want to hold onto tight because when
you hold on too tight, they're gonna want to like
get loose. You know, when you hold onto anything too tight,
it's just it's you're gonna suffocate it. That's the best
way I can put it. So anyways, we had that
(39:35):
conversation and I'm like, Okay, Zion is gonna be like
our new beginning. I was telling myself this. I was
like okay, because again I was thinking, I'm like I
have to let him go. So anyway, so once we
got engaged and everything, Tony texts me and he remembered
our conversation and he's like, Babe, I'm so happy for you.
You guys deserve each other. You deserve this. And I
(39:58):
had to read that and I was like, yes, I
deserve this. I deserve this moment. I just deserve this person.
I deserve to be loved this way. I deserve this ring.
I deserve these days of like not doing anything and
just embracing nature and doing the things that make me
absolutely happy. Like something switched out there. You guys, like,
I can't even explain it. It has to do with like
(40:19):
just being out in one of my favorite places, getting
engaged and I don't know. I'm just things I could
just see clearly. And right now it's my birthday month
and I'm doing a cleanse and other cleans you guys,
I love cleanses. You guys know me because I just
want to set the tone like I feel like this
is the beginning of a new gene of a new
(40:40):
life for me obviously for me and my partner. And yeah,
I deserve this and I'm happy and I just really
now I could say I truly believe it. So anyways,
I just let it all out here. And for those
of you wondering, yes, I am going to take his
last name. I will be Janey Sanchez. He deserves Yeah. Absolutely,
(41:02):
And Vanessa, my friend Vanessa Sanchez, is very happy about it.
She's like, oh my god, we're gonna be Sanchez is together.
But yes, the plan is to definitely take his name,
and I am very happy and excited to do that.
So I love his family. His family loves me, and
I love them all. Shout out to all of the
Sanchez family who has just welcomed me with their arms
(41:22):
and their hearts wide open. He has a beautiful family,
you guys. I love his mother. I love his grandma,
his aunts is just his nano. Everyone's so nice to me,
and I'm just happy. I'm happy that I'm gonna have
like a beautiful family. So yeah, that's it, guys. I'm
being a cry baby, but it's just it's nice. I
(41:45):
feel like I've gone through so much in my life
and no one's ever loved me this way. No one,
I can honestly tell you, like, no one has ever
loved me the way he loves me, not my family,
not my parents, like his page, and he literally tells
me I'm beautiful every single day. And it's just it's nice.
(42:06):
It's nice. And if I can just wrap up this
episode with something for you guys that speaking from personal experience.
Sometimes I think because what we have gone through and
sometimes maybe even the things that we've done, we feel
like we don't deserve to be loved the right way,
(42:29):
or we don't believe in love anymore. We think, oh,
there's no way that there is a perfect man out
there for me, and there isn't because no one is perfect.
You're not perfect. I'm not perfect. You're not going to
find a perfect person. It's picking and choosing your battles.
If you find someone, and it definitely the good things
outweigh the bad things, and that's an indication of like,
(42:51):
stay there. It's worth working towards it, you know, communication,
but first and foremost, it's important that you you feel
that you deserve it. The crazy thing is I would
go back and forth like I'm like, well, yeah, like
(43:11):
God set me this person. It has to be for
a reason. But then we would have an argument or
something would happen. I'm like, oh my god, I just
I feel like I just can't give him what he expects,
what he wants, what he deserves. And a little did
I know that I mentally was drawing more of that
like to my life because I was so focused on that,
(43:33):
you know what I mean, And and like there has
to be a switch where we're like, wait, no, I
deserve this. I absolutely deserve to be loved the right way.
I deserve to be happy. I deserve to have a
person in my life that is willing to work at
the relationship the way I'm willing to do that, you
know what I mean. And I think that that's like
it's a constant thing and it's something that like I'm
(43:54):
telling you, therapy has helped me and just saying these
things out loud, even to you guys, and being vulvulnerable
enough to say it out loud. Once you hear it
out loud, then it just kind of sets and you're like, okay, wait, no,
you know what you have to work on once you
hear it out loud, if that makes sense. So, more
than anything, just believe in love, know that it's out there.
(44:15):
Don't give up. Even if you've kissed a few frogs.
It's okay. Those frogs were supposed to be in your
life because you are also a lesson in their life
for them to also appreciate the next person hopefully that
comes into their life. And forgiving your past is another thing.
Forgive your past, know that everything and everyone comes into
your life for a reason. Sounds cliche, but it's very true.
(44:39):
And forgiving and really letting go it's the best advice.
And really working on yourself and being intentional and adamant
about becoming the best version of yourself so that you
can attract what you want and what you need for
your life. Well that's my story, you guys, and I
hope that I am able to help you guys, and
(45:01):
anyway by sharing my experiences with you guys, and I
feel like honesty is literally the best policy, and that's
who I am. I'm transparent and I just pray that
through what I share, it helps you, guys, become the
best versions of yourself. And I'm just so excited to
be marrying my best friend Emilio. I can honestly tell you, like,
(45:25):
I'm just happy and I'm so grateful and I thank
God that I'm able to share life with a person
that just understands me the way he does so and
I don't he doesn't bore me, which is so crazy.
I have so much fun with him. I was like,
oh my god, you don't get on my nerves. Well, yeah,
he gets on my nerve sometimes I'm trying I get
on his nerves. But like, honestly, like it's so fun.
(45:48):
I've never been able to travel with someone just ourselves
and have so much fun. So anyways, I'm excited and
I just I don't know, I'm excited to just see
what the future holds for us together. Anyways, I love
you guys, Thank you for listening, and I will catch
you on the next episode here on Cheeky's and Chill Yay.
(46:11):
Do you need advice on love, relationships, health emails. I'm
so excited to share with you that my Cheekys and
Chill podcast will have an extra episode drop each week.
I'll be answering all your questions.
Speaker 2 (46:24):
Just leave me a voice message person a Monday. All
you have to do is go to speak pipe dot com,
slash Cheeky's and Chill podcast and record your questions.
Speaker 1 (46:34):
I can't wait to hear from you. This is a
production of iHeartRadio and the Micaeldura podcast Network. Follow us
on Instagram at Michaeldura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's
c h i q U i s. For more podcasts
from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
(46:56):
you listen to your favorite podcast, and check us out
on YouTube.
Host
Chiquis
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