May 5, 2025 • 39 mins
Hi, guys! You’re going to LOVE this week’s episode of Chiquis and Chill. That’s because our guest Mory Fontanez, an intuitive life and leadership coach – and author of the new book, “Higher Self: Reclaiming the Power of Your Intuition,” is here to talk all about how we can better listen to our inner voice. We’ll talk about why that’s important, why society wants us to value other people’s opinions over our own, and much more!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hello, everyone.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Happy Monday or Tuesday or whatever day that you're listening
to your favorite podcast, Cheek is in Chill. I hope
that you're having a wonderful day. I just got back
from Miami and it was an amazing trip. I am
so grateful. My performance is doing amazing. Apparently it's gone viral.
There's so many different and beautiful positive comments, so that
(00:26):
just fulfills my heart. And I'm always excited to sit
down and talk to you guys, but especially excited for
today's episode because it's all about intuition and tapping into
our higher selves.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
For those of you who don't know.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
What that means or how to achieve that, stay tuned
because our guest is about to enlighten us all. Here
with me today is Mariy Fontanez, an intuitive life and
leadership coach and the author of the new book called
High your Self, Reclaiming the Power of your Intuition. She
also hosts a podcast signal Hi, Maury, Welcome to the podcast.
(01:00):
I am so excited that you're here.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Thank you for having me. I'm really excited to talk
to you too.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
So let's I have a lot of questions in regards
to your book. But let's start off with your higher self.
What does this mean?
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Your higher self is the version of you as soon
as I say it, it's going to activate and you're
going to feel it. It's the version of you that
is unencumbered by fear, limitation, shame, anxiety. It's the version
of you that is so clear that all of your
desires are warranted and deserved, that you are full of
(01:40):
intuitive knowing that your wisdom is within you, not outside
of you. It is very grounded in your worth and
full of dignity. I like to help people imagine your
higher self in this way. When your soul chose to
take a human form to have an experience, a life experience,
(02:03):
it's sort of split into two. The version of you
that came down into this plane to be in a
human form and have experiences. So imagine yourself down in
the forest navigating life. And then the other half is
kind of sitting on this mountaintop watching from above, knowing
what you are inherently worthy of, seeing the full picture
(02:27):
and sending you signals to guide you towards your highest good.
That's your higher self.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
I love how you explained it because I've always tried
to explain it to other people because I have my
own definition in my head, and what I'm hearing from
you is I always say God lives in me as me.
God lives in you and all of us as us.
So I feel like that is the person or that
(02:54):
being or the spirit or whatever it is that you
want to call it, anyone that anyone that's listening, yep, that's.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Sitting on that mountain waiting.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
I think because sometimes we are so caught up in
life and doing our thing that we don't take the
time to look inward and really take care of that.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Being. I guess you know that that higher authentic self.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
You know, well, even I will take it one step further.
The true world is our inner world. That is the truth,
the wisdom, the knowing, and even what we desire. All
of that creates the external world, and we sometimes are
(03:37):
tricked into the illusion that the external world is the
truth and that we have to react to it, rather
than understanding that the truth is actually within here, and
the external world is a representation of my experience of that.
And therefore I can navigate with this you know, this,
(03:57):
this this light within me guiding the way because I
know what is best for me, not I am reacting
to what others are saying.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Is in my highest good Oh my goodness, Yes, I
love that so much because it took me so long
to really really tap into that. And instead of thinking
this happened to me, I now ask myself, Okay, what
did I do or what can I change to change
the outcome so that I'm not attracting this over and over?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
You know?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
And I'm living that right now with my siblings. You know,
there's some stuff going on and I'm like, Okay, instead
of pointing fingers at them, let me not worry about
what they're doing, let me worry about what I can
do differently, how I can better this situation.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
So I love that you said that. Oh my gosh. Okay,
So I think I'm on the right track.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Yeah, one hundred percent. That reframe is everything you don't
have control over anyone but you and the way you
see things and the decisions you from those perceptions.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Yes, Oh my goodness, Okay, I love that. Okay, And
why do you think this isn't talked about more well?
Speaker 1 (05:07):
And I'm like, what the heck?
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I feel like we hear a little bit about it,
but not as much as I think we should personally. Yeah,
I'm going to tell you the truth.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Just yes, I love that all aside, we are conditioned
as a society not to trust ourselves because power is
more easily accumulated if we don't trust our inner voice,
if we are convinced by others to fear one another,
(05:39):
to believe that others know better than we do, to
believe that we are not enough, so we need to
acquire X, Y or Z product or home or car.
And by the way, I'm not some like love and
Light healer that's here to tell you got to abandon
all of that material wealth and go live on a mountaintop.
(06:00):
That's not what I'm saying to you. Yeah, But what
I am saying is an answer to your question. We
are taught that others hold the answers for us, so
that others can be in control of us, whoever those
others are. So it doesn't make sense in a society
that wants to control behavior to remind you that you
(06:23):
have the inner wisdom to know what to do next. Yeah,
it makes more sense to convince you that you don't
know and that you have to constantly be seeking like
this hungry ghost, you know, seeking this validation, seeking wisdom
from outside yourself so that you put the power in
other people's hands instead of remembering who the hell you are.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Even seeking approval, you know, like that was a big
thing for me for a long time, seeking approval of
my mother or my family and people pleasing and not
really I was paying so much attention to the outside
world that I could not hear my inner voice speaking.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
And now it's so clear everyone relates when you say
that we all have an inner people pleaser. Yeah, and
I just want to give everyone permission to see that
self with some grace and love. Yeah, because that is
the version of us that at a very young age,
not understanding what the hell was going on, living in
(07:23):
a very chaotic and noisy world, not understanding why other
people were behaving the way they were, whether that's mom,
dad's sister, friend, whoever. We create beliefs about ourselves to
help make sense of a world that doesn't make sense.
So when we see someone maybe not pay attention to
(07:43):
us because they're tired or heartbroken or whatever, at a
very young age, we decide, well, we need their attention,
because you need your caregiver's attention for survival. So from
a brilliant place of survival, we create this strategy to
please others, to get their loving attention. That is a
survival strategy that I want us to always honor. Honor
(08:08):
is not the same thing as follow. But just notice, Oh,
I'm in this very old survival strategy that a much
younger version of myself made up to help me make
sense in the world. Do I still need that outdated strategy? No,
but I'm grateful that you, little one, you created it
(08:29):
because I'm alive right now because you did that.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Yeah, yes, that makes so much freaking sense, like moving
and surviving from a place of survival, and then you
get to a place where you're like, Okay, I did that.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
That worked for me.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Then now I'm thriving now I can, you know, which
is why I wanted to have this conversation with you,
because I'm like, Okay, I kind of know what intuition
is and being in your higher self and your authentic self,
but I really wanted the listeners to understand it, and
and you're explaining it so beautiful, which is I mean,
you are a leadership code ch and a life coach
(09:04):
and a lot of people when they asked me what's
the difference. I was just on a podcast not so
long ago, and they said, Okay, what's the difference between
therapy and life coaching?
Speaker 1 (09:11):
And I think I might.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Have explained it correctly, but I feel that obviously you
can explain it even better. So if you can just
let us know a little bit more about the difference
or what it is that you do.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
Yeah, it's a good question, because sometimes it's a very
blurry line. I'll tell clients when they first start with me, Look,
this is going to feel like three different experiences in one.
It's going to feel like therapy, but I am not
a licensed therapist. Everything that I know about healing these
little limiting beliefs is either from my own life story
(09:44):
and how I've healed them, or what I am really channeling,
what I'm receiving as a method that makes sense from
the collective consciousness, from the collective knowing. It's also going
to feel like a spiritual experience because there is an
intuitive part of me that's connecting to an intuitive part
(10:05):
of you, and it will feel like something that's inexplicable.
There's some times that I'll know things that people will
be like, well, how do you know that I'm tapping
into that gift of reading that energy, and then it'll
feel like a leadership session. It'll feel like strategy because
I come from a corporate background, so I'm a strategist
(10:26):
at heart, So it'll be very tactical and focused on
exactly what you need to do to get from A
to B. And I think it depends on the life
coach or the therapist you see. I mean, obviously therapists
are clinically trained. They are going to be more educated
about all of the different psychological things that could be happening,
(10:49):
and that is really helpful when you're trying to understand
what system is happening in your brain while you're thinking
and feeling the way you're feeling. I have lots of
therapy his friends who will say, though, that sometimes because
some therapists stick to Western medicine and a very linear
way of diagnosing things, we're missing the unspoken part. We're
(11:12):
missing the energetic part. And so for me, what I'm
doing is I'm bringing in the energetic, the unspoken, the unseen,
and blending the healing together with the reminder, oh, look
there's your higher self. Do see them? Great, that's who
you really are. Now. My goal is for you to
never need me again. That's what good looks like for me,
(11:34):
because the wisdom is within you. I'm just the reminder.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Yes, I okay, I'm just I'm so excited because this
is I think this.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
I was looking for you. I've been looking for me.
I manifested you. Look you're on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Is.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
I feel that way about every single client, every interview
I've done for this book. It's like, if the frequency
is right and the people who are listening are ready
for the mess, I'll show up or my book. My
book will just show up in people's laps, like they'll
just see it in a bookstore and then they'll DM
me and they're like, I was just in a moment
where I felt really lost and there was your book.
So there's a little magic, there's a little alchemy to
(12:13):
this message that when you're in the right place and
you're ready for it, it shows up for you.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Absolutely, I agree.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
And you do work with a lot of CEOs and
important people, right, I mean, obviously we don't.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Need never works important.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Yes, absolutely, I agree with you.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
I agree with you, But I mean, do you feel
that they are any better with trusting themselves in like
the average person.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
No, absolutely not.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
From my experience, you know what I have seen is
I work with leaders. I also work with performers and
public personalities. I think that with a certain level of
success comes a certain amount of confidence because your brain
has received evidence that you are good at the thing,
(12:59):
or that you make good decisions. And we need evidence
to believe that's just the way we humans are. We've
got to see it to believe it. So I do
think that when people have achieved and they are successful
at whatever they're doing, there is an inherent confidence that
helps them trust the next decision, but only if it's
(13:22):
a decision that fits in the tiny box of decisions
they've made before. The minute they want to move to
another box. Let's say I'm coaching a singer who now
wants to be in the movies. Immediately, imposter syndrome comes in,
I'm not enough comes in. All of these limiting beliefs
comes in. What do you mean, my intuition? Because now
(13:45):
what their desire is asking of them is to have
the courage to see themselves as their higher self in
every scenario. But the evidence part of the brain the
evidence part of the ego wants to say no, no, no, no,
we only have evidence that you're good at this thing.
So when they're coming to me, isn't a moment of
change or transition or crisis because all of a sudden
(14:07):
that system they had to trust their decision making is
completely flipped up in the air because it's new territory.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Yeah, oh my goodness, you know it's so crazy? Is that?
That's where I'm at a crossroads right now, which is
why I'm like, you know what, I know, I still
want to sing now that I've stepped back a little
bit and I've created a little bit of space, soul space,
but I feel like that's going to look different moving forward.
(14:34):
And the fear steps in exactly what you said of
the doubt, and I'm like, okay, wait, everything's going so
well here, but why is it that my soul is
telling me I need to kind.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Of just go this way a little? So it's yes.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
Yes, And what happens when you don't listen to that voice?
How does it feel?
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Oh? Horrible?
Speaker 2 (14:51):
And then I get a kick in the ass later
yes by life. Yes, And it's happened so much to me.
You guys that I have something in the pit of
my stomach and for me, that is God, that is
my intuition, that is my higher self speaking to me.
And I ignore it because of the exterior, because of
fear or it's people are not going to approve of it,
whatever it may be. And then later on it still happens.
(15:13):
It just it's out of my control. It just happens,
and I just that's the way I see it. It's
a little kick in the ass that say, hey, you
didn't listen to me earlier, so I have to kind
of push you to do it.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
Yeah, totally, I tell you know, I believe you know.
I used to do crisis management and I left that
to do this work. But I always say that oftentimes
a crisis is intuition unlistened to, intuition unfollowed, And it's
not a punishment. It's just a cause and effect. It's
(15:44):
just evidence that you're knowing was right, so that next
time you can trust it. There's always a next time.
We can take that beat up stick and put it down, Yeah,
because you will get a chance again to listen. And
the point is when will you begin to learn to
trust that wisdom?
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Yeah, And you know right now that you said punishment.
It's something that I also struggled with for a long
time because I come from like a Christian family, and
I always say, you know, I am a spiritual woman.
Now I am not religious, but I think when I
was very religious and Christian, I always felt like I
(16:22):
was going to be punished if I didn't do the
right thing. And I had this crazy amount of fear
within me that if I did something wrong, I was
going to get punished or if I didn't listen. And
now I feel that I have the choice. I don't
know how to explain it. Maybe you'll know a little
bit what I'm talking about, but I think it's important
(16:43):
to talk about that because it would paralyze me.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Yeah, I couldn't even move.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
I'm like, I'm not even going to do anything because
I'm just so freaking fearful. And now I move with
liberty and I'm like, Okay, I know, I'm just following
this feeling. But even if I take a little detour
because of whatever, X, Y and Z, it's okay, I'll
come back here. I can come back and yes, I'm
not a horrible person.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
Yeah, And are you harder to control? With this awareness.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (17:12):
Okay, going back to your very first question, why are
we not taught that were intuitive? Because it's harder to
control you. It's easier to control you when there's a
system that tells you you need to be fearful of
an external punishment. And that is not to say anything
(17:33):
about anyone's religion. I actually very much honor spirituality in
every way, and religion is one of them. But sometimes
even spirituality can be formalized into a system aka religion
that then has the human ego involved in it. Yeah,
there are other people involved in explaining though. I always
(17:55):
think about how, you know, back in the day when
they didn't want women to have any writes, women were
not allowed to read. Why they didn't want women to
read and interpret? Actually, it was illegal for a long
time for people to interpret the Bible and throughout Europe
on their own. Wow, because what did they want? What
did the Catholic Church want to be able to interpret
(18:18):
it for you? So that is a system of control.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Okay, So let's talk a little bit about men. Do
you feel that men are better at leaning into their
intuition than women?
Speaker 3 (18:37):
Yeah? I get this question a lot. I get this
question because of the term women's intuition.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
I don't believe that your intuition is connected to your
gender whatsoever. Okay, in fact, I know that it's not.
I do feel that male CEOs and executives follow their
intuition more openly and without permission. They may not talk
about it that way, but they just feel something and
(19:04):
they make a decision. I think Forbes did a study
once and sixty eight percent of ceo said they make
decisions based off their intuition. I think that women in
the workplace feel and know, but are not as allowed
to just be decisive from that place of knowing. But
I think that if you look at people in general
(19:25):
and the way they live their lives and lead their lives,
everyone is intuitive. Yeah, everyone is intuitive. The difference comes
with the level of fear that's blocking your ability to
hear and follow your intuition, and that is does not discriminate,
you know, gender color. We all have different levels of fear,
(19:45):
and we all have a highly intuitive part of us.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Yes, all of us. Yeah, I truly believe that for sure.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Every time I pray them, I thank you for my
five cents is in my sixth sense because I want
to like tap more and into it and not ignore it.
I wasted so many years on ignoring that, and like
you said, because of a fear, you know. I mean,
it's sometimes it's scary to step into the known or
to listen to it because you're like, wait. And for
a long time, Marie, I was a little obsessed with
(20:16):
like psychics because I knew what I was feeling, but
I need confirmation totally. I need someone to tell me,
and it just would cause a world of problems for me. Hmm.
I was leaning too much into that, and I felt
like I was getting even further and further away from
my own knowing. Yeah, because I was depending so much
on someone else to tell me what to do or
(20:37):
not to do.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
Yeah, oh yeah. Anytime you go see any healer or
psychic medium, really have to check what you're receiving against
your own knowing.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Always, no one knows better about you than you. Sometimes
someone who's gifted that way can open your eyes to
something that you may not have seen, but then you'll
feel that in your body as truth. Whatever truth feels
like in your body, you just know it when they
say it. But if it's hitting in a place where
(21:06):
you're like, no, that wisdom is there to guide you,
so always check everything you hear against that wisdom.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
And you can feel, like you just said, right now,
your intuition in your I feel it in my tummy. Yeah,
forensipan people, you could feel it anywhere right or yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
That's where the term gut feeling comes from, because the
gut actually has a lot to do with consciousness and
what we perceive. There's just just starting to figure that
out scientists. But the body is a very good reminder
of all experiences trauma, which feels like tightness, sharpness, pain,
(21:45):
and intuitive knowing, which can feel for a lot of
people like a little bubbly feeling their stomach. Some people
feel it like energy building in their chest. Some people
will say their fingers get a little numb, and I
say in the book, there's three ways to tell the
difference between intuition and fear when you're making a decision
in your body is one of them. Fear in your
(22:08):
body feels like a contraction, it feels like pressure, it
feels like sharpness, tightness. That's a fear thought. Intuition your
body will feel like some form of expansion or elevation,
some kind of bubbly feeling or opening sensation in your body.
I always tell people, when you're trying to get to
(22:29):
know your intuition, what is the pre thought? What's the
first feeling or thought you had in response to something
that's your intuition? And if you really pay attention to it,
it has no emotion. It's just straight up like a fact.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Damn. That's pretty freaking cool.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Because I sometimes I've learned that when I'm trying to
make a decision, I start listening. This is just so
much confirmation for me because I'm like, Okay, this is good.
I'm here, I'm getting like chills. But I'll ask myself, Okay,
do I have peace with this decision?
Speaker 1 (23:08):
And you feel it?
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Guys, like people have asked like, Okay, how is it
that you listen to that inner voice, that intuition? We
all have it, right, Mariy, Like everyone can tap into this.
Can you give us some advice or some pointers as
to how they can start if they don't feel what
it is that we're talking about. Besides reading your book,
because I really do think you guys should read it,
but are there anything any other tips that you can
(23:29):
give them.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
Yeah. The best way to start to acquaint yourself with
your intuitive voice is to decipher the difference between it
and your fear of voice. Start to pay attention when
you have to make a decision, or you meet someone,
or you're just having a thought. What does this thought
(23:50):
feel like in my body? What does it feel like
in my energy? What does it feel like in my emotion?
If it's contracted, tight, draining, upsetting, that's a fear thought.
Start to notice also the thoughts that feel calm, clear,
emotionally neutral, that's an intuitive thought. When you can give
your brain lanes, this is fear, This lane is intuition.
(24:15):
It now knows how to put things into buckets, and
you can begin to decide for yourself which bucket do
I want to choose today? Or I'm going to check
in with my fear self because it has a lot
of needs that it wants to make sure get met,
like safety, love, dignity. Okay, I hear you. Now, let
(24:36):
me take a deep breath and I literally just turn
your head to the other side, take a deep breath,
and just say, what's the go ahead, intuition, what do
you believe? And just you'll get something immediately, and then
you get to decide which thought do I want to believe,
because whichever thought you believe becomes your reality.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
From what I hear, you do believe or think that
the law of attraction is very real.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
Yeah, I mean we I want to say this in
the most clear, simple way. What we perceive is what
is real. If you don't perceive it, it's not real
to you. If you don't believe in a zebra, if
you don't believe it's real. I could be looking at
it and telling you, look, look, look at that thing,
(25:31):
but you might not fully perceive it because your consciousness
is not grabbing that part. So whatever your consciousness believes in,
that is the way that you perceive the world. That's
what that's really the basis of law of attraction, Yeah,
is that you are in alignment with that thing. Oftentimes
(25:56):
we are in alignment with fear thoughts. Yeah, so we
perceive more. I'll give you really clear evidence of this.
Have you ever woken up just in a really bad mood?
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Mm hmm, okay, yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
The way that you think about the people you interact
with that day or that morning, the way you think
about opportunities coming or not coming, to you, the way
you think about your friends and your family, your life, yourself.
How does all of that feel when you're in a
bad mood.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
It just it feels very negative, right, I just everything
is just wrong and you see all the bad in everything.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
And can you find evidence that you're right? Can the
friend be a bit of a jerk?
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (26:37):
And the rejection come through? Yeah, because you're waking up
and seeing things through the lens of negativity. Now, when
you're just in a great mood, how does your relationship
to other people or other things change? How do you
start to perceive those things?
Speaker 2 (26:59):
I mean I see the beauty and everything, and I
see that, oh I do have a great friend, and yeah,
I mean yeah for sure.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
So that very same friend that was annoying you yesterday
when you're in a bad mood, and that was real
to you, that that person was being an ass that
next day, when you're in a different headspace, all of
a sudden, is the most loyal, the funniest, whatever things
you love about them. That becomes real. So what you
perceive is what is real in your life.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
See, I mean I tell people look in the mirror
and say nice things to yourself and really, there is
at least one thing that you can find that you
love about yourself and focus on that versus oh, my
silly letter, my stretch marks. We all have defects. It's
just what we choose to focus on. And I really
believe in affirmations and mantras and all that stuff because
(27:51):
it's feeding yourself your brain, and you're also speaking it.
I really believe in the power of the tongue as well,
so we talk about that on the podcast lot.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
So I truly believe in that.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Yeah, And I think there's a danger in certain terms
being overused so that people can throw them away or
be cynical about them, right, Like manifestation is one of
those terms that has been so overused that it sort
of misses people. So part of my purpose is to
break it down in the most practical, pragmatic terms so
(28:24):
that it's not something that feels woo woo, but like
real to you. I want you to find experience in
your own life of that concept being real.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Yes, I love her, guys.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Okay, So let's talk about relationships and creating high frequency relationships.
Can you turn an existing relationship into a high frequency one?
Speaker 3 (28:48):
Everything is about your own frequency. So if you are
in that relationship from a place of need, from a
place of ooh, please fill this hole inside me that
thinks she's not he's not worthy, she or he is
not lovable, that they are not inherently worth partnership or loyalty.
(29:09):
If you have that belief about yourself, a relationship is
not going to fix that belief, and what it is
going to do is magnetize a frequency that is also
of equal value. Right, not fully healed, not fully in
a place of believing in themselves. The only way that
(29:30):
you move to a high frequency relationship is when you
begin to fill that hole inside yourself with the inherent
truth that you are worthy of love and of dignity
because you exist, because you are here literally made of
stardust science has shown in our bones, and a divine being.
(29:53):
All that means is a being that's connected to something
so much greater and full of unconditional love and deep
knowing that is your truest essence. When you know that,
and it takes work, It takes therapy, it takes healing,
It takes attending to these little selves who are stuck
in the illusion that they're not enough. When you begin
(30:16):
to attend to those littles, love your littles, as I say,
and they begin to believe you. Oh, I am worthy.
I didn't need that person to tell me I was.
I know that I am. Your frequency shifts. When your
frequency shifts, you magnetize same, same like attracts like. So
then you begin to magnetize a frequency that sees you
(30:38):
that way and that treats you that way. But if
you see yourself as inherently broken, what you bring in
are others who will treat you like you are broken
or continue to break you. People want to project their
inner shame and self hatred onto others. It's so much
(30:59):
easier to externalize that really hard feeling than to sit
with it. So if you're a broken vessel and someone
wants to project their own inner darkness, then you're the
perfect match. But the minute that you're filling those beautiful
cracks with gold and knowing of your value, uh, you
(31:21):
don't even detect that frequency anymore, the one that wants
to break you because you've elevated out of it.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Oh my gosh, you guys. Yes, Oh, I'm just I
just need to take it to breath.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Because it just feels.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
So good and and I sometimes don't even know how
to explain it. And thank Goodness for my podcast, I'm
able to just it's like it's like a form of
therapy for me. Just yes, you know, talking and sharing
my experiences to help others. But that's when I had
to face myself, when I was in one bad relationship
after another, and I said, what am I doing to
(31:56):
attract this?
Speaker 1 (31:57):
What am I doing?
Speaker 2 (31:58):
I'm I can't. I have to stop pointing my fingers
at them. Yes they have their own things, and yes
they weren't nice, and they did this and that, but
there is something within myself that keeps attracting this, attracting
the same type of man until I step back and
I said, I'm going to really figure this out and
sit in this pain and embrace it. And everything changed
(32:23):
for me and I and I tell that I tell
my listeners all the time.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
If you're trying to find a partner, you also need to.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Be willing to make the changes within yourself so that
you can attract and be a reflection of what you're
looking for. And because I feel in my relationship when
I didn't think I was ready for him, because I
was doing my own inner work, and I thought I
need to be alone for at least a year. And
God surprised me in the universe as well, but he
was also on his healing journey. He was doing therapy
(32:54):
and so was I. And I'm like, oh, this feels
so different now we're vibrating. It's just night and day. Yeah,
because I think we were both ready and working on
our individual selves to be better for ourselves but for
each other.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Right, And it's amazing.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
And you have to believe it's possible to perceive it.
If you don't believe that a partner who is respectful
or a partner who wants the very best for you, Yeah,
a partner that wants you to succeed even when they don't.
If you don't believe that person exists, you're not going
to perceive that person. Yeah. They could be standing right
(33:32):
next to you and you won't see it. And so
much of this book is the story of my own
journey from a place of my first marriage being one
where I was trying to fix someone and make them
be the husband and the dad for my kids that
I wanted that I had imagined I needed to feel
(33:52):
safe as a child of divorced parents, and my own
reckon that came from my higher self, you know, whispering
to me on the floor of my kitchen, eight months pregnant, sobbing, saying,
hold on a minute, is this what you believe you're
worthy of? Is this all that you believe there is?
(34:15):
And starting to really listen to that voice and being like,
who is that? What does that mean? Is this all
that you believe there is? And getting so curious and
beginning this journey for myself of well, if this isn't
all there is, what else is there? What would that
look like? What do I really want? What do I
want my life to look like? Oh? Wait a minute,
(34:36):
I don't think I deserve that. Oh okay, let's go
fix that. Why don't you believe you deserve that? Oh
there's that little five year old. She's sitting on the
couch by herself. Mom and dad are fighting. It is
all interconnected, but it really comes from this place of
looking at yourself and saying, do I believe I'm worthy?
Do I believe it's possible? And if the answer to
those questions is no, you've got some work to do.
(34:58):
My love amis on the other end of that work
is the most fulfilling relationships, not just romantic friendships, working
collaborations and romance, because all of a sudden, you're showing
up more whole and you're embodying your higher self, and
so people are like, ooh, I want that. I want
to be near that kind of person.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
Oh my goodness. Yes.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
For a long time, I thought all men are the
same and they're all cheaters. And I grew up in
a household where divorce was just normal and it was
like okay, next next, like if this relationship didn't work, then,
you know, And I'm like, Okay, well, I guess I'm
just going to live like that and have a different
person every so often, you know. But I had to
sit down and say I want something different. I do
(35:44):
deserve this. I real love does exist and there is
maybe there isn't a perfect man, like there isn't a
perfect woman. I'm not a perfect woman, but I'm going
to find someone that's perfect for me. Yeah, And that
it changed everything, Guys. I'm telling you because I was there,
sitting there at thirty five, going through a separation, through
a divorce, and I'm like, oh my gosh, am I
(36:05):
ever going to find that person? Appso frecolutely. Yes, you can,
you know and you will. We just have to also
be willing to make the changes.
Speaker 3 (36:15):
And become that person. Yes, no worry about finding that person,
become that person. The rest happens that part.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
Yeah, absolutely, I love it, Okay, Mariy. So before I
think we've had an amazing conversation, I'm loving this and
I know my listeners are going to love it as well.
So is there anything that from the conversation, from your book,
from your leadership that you want people to understand and
(36:45):
take away and something that's going to stick with them.
Speaker 3 (36:49):
If you go to my Instagram and you look at
my bio under my name, there are four words or
five not self help, self trust. What I am trying
to bring about is a self trust revolution, meaning that
you reject the idea that anyone knows better than you
(37:11):
about what you need and how to get there. So
I think that the last thing I want to leave
your listeners with is this truth. You have the wisdom
within you to know what to do next at all times,
and when you believe that, you will tap into that
wisdom and live a little more fulfilled, a hell of
(37:35):
a lot freer and definitely in full alignment to your
higher self.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Ooh ooh, I feel so enlightened. I feel so light.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
There's so much confirmation, and I hope that you guys
are also feeling this as well. Please pick up her book.
I picked it up. High Yourself, reclaiming the power of
your intuition and talking about your social media. Can you
share your social media with us please? People can follow you.
Speaker 3 (38:01):
Yeah, absolutely, follow me on Instagram at Maury Fontanas.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
There you guys have it, and yeah, I'm gonna be
hitting you up great, Mariy.
Speaker 3 (38:11):
I really love talking to you. You ask the most
deep and genuinely curious questions, so it's been really nice
to talk to you. Thank you for having.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Me, thank you for your time, and I love that
you are going to help so many people.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
I think this is exactly what we need right now.
And you guys, thank you for listening.
Speaker 2 (38:32):
I love you so much and I will catch you
here on the next episode of Cheeks and Chew. This
is a production of iHeartRadio and the micro Dura podcast Network.
Follow us on Instagram at Michael Dura Podcasts and follow
me Cheeky's That's c H I t U I s
for more podcasts. From iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts,
(38:55):
or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast
Speaker 1 (38:58):
And check us out on YouTube.
Hello, everyone.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Happy Monday or Tuesday or whatever day that you're listening
to your favorite podcast, Cheek is in Chill. I hope
that you're having a wonderful day. I just got back
from Miami and it was an amazing trip. I am
so grateful. My performance is doing amazing. Apparently it's gone viral.
There's so many different and beautiful positive comments, so that
(00:26):
just fulfills my heart. And I'm always excited to sit
down and talk to you guys, but especially excited for
today's episode because it's all about intuition and tapping into
our higher selves.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
For those of you who don't know.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
What that means or how to achieve that, stay tuned
because our guest is about to enlighten us all. Here
with me today is Mariy Fontanez, an intuitive life and
leadership coach and the author of the new book called
High your Self, Reclaiming the Power of your Intuition. She
also hosts a podcast signal Hi, Maury, Welcome to the podcast.
(01:00):
I am so excited that you're here.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Thank you for having me. I'm really excited to talk
to you too.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
So let's I have a lot of questions in regards
to your book. But let's start off with your higher self.
What does this mean?
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Your higher self is the version of you as soon
as I say it, it's going to activate and you're
going to feel it. It's the version of you that
is unencumbered by fear, limitation, shame, anxiety. It's the version
of you that is so clear that all of your
desires are warranted and deserved, that you are full of
(01:40):
intuitive knowing that your wisdom is within you, not outside
of you. It is very grounded in your worth and
full of dignity. I like to help people imagine your
higher self in this way. When your soul chose to
take a human form to have an experience, a life experience,
(02:03):
it's sort of split into two. The version of you
that came down into this plane to be in a
human form and have experiences. So imagine yourself down in
the forest navigating life. And then the other half is
kind of sitting on this mountaintop watching from above, knowing
what you are inherently worthy of, seeing the full picture
(02:27):
and sending you signals to guide you towards your highest good.
That's your higher self.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
I love how you explained it because I've always tried
to explain it to other people because I have my
own definition in my head, and what I'm hearing from
you is I always say God lives in me as me.
God lives in you and all of us as us.
So I feel like that is the person or that
(02:54):
being or the spirit or whatever it is that you
want to call it, anyone that anyone that's listening, yep, that's.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Sitting on that mountain waiting.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
I think because sometimes we are so caught up in
life and doing our thing that we don't take the
time to look inward and really take care of that.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Being. I guess you know that that higher authentic self.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
You know, well, even I will take it one step further.
The true world is our inner world. That is the truth,
the wisdom, the knowing, and even what we desire. All
of that creates the external world, and we sometimes are
(03:37):
tricked into the illusion that the external world is the
truth and that we have to react to it, rather
than understanding that the truth is actually within here, and
the external world is a representation of my experience of that.
And therefore I can navigate with this you know, this,
(03:57):
this this light within me guiding the way because I
know what is best for me, not I am reacting
to what others are saying.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Is in my highest good Oh my goodness, Yes, I
love that so much because it took me so long
to really really tap into that. And instead of thinking
this happened to me, I now ask myself, Okay, what
did I do or what can I change to change
the outcome so that I'm not attracting this over and over?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
You know?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
And I'm living that right now with my siblings. You know,
there's some stuff going on and I'm like, Okay, instead
of pointing fingers at them, let me not worry about
what they're doing, let me worry about what I can
do differently, how I can better this situation.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
So I love that you said that. Oh my gosh. Okay,
So I think I'm on the right track.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Yeah, one hundred percent. That reframe is everything you don't
have control over anyone but you and the way you
see things and the decisions you from those perceptions.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Yes, Oh my goodness, Okay, I love that. Okay, And
why do you think this isn't talked about more well?
Speaker 1 (05:07):
And I'm like, what the heck?
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I feel like we hear a little bit about it,
but not as much as I think we should personally. Yeah,
I'm going to tell you the truth.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Just yes, I love that all aside, we are conditioned
as a society not to trust ourselves because power is
more easily accumulated if we don't trust our inner voice,
if we are convinced by others to fear one another,
(05:39):
to believe that others know better than we do, to
believe that we are not enough, so we need to
acquire X, Y or Z product or home or car.
And by the way, I'm not some like love and
Light healer that's here to tell you got to abandon
all of that material wealth and go live on a mountaintop.
(06:00):
That's not what I'm saying to you. Yeah, But what
I am saying is an answer to your question. We
are taught that others hold the answers for us, so
that others can be in control of us, whoever those
others are. So it doesn't make sense in a society
that wants to control behavior to remind you that you
(06:23):
have the inner wisdom to know what to do next. Yeah,
it makes more sense to convince you that you don't
know and that you have to constantly be seeking like
this hungry ghost, you know, seeking this validation, seeking wisdom
from outside yourself so that you put the power in
other people's hands instead of remembering who the hell you are.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Even seeking approval, you know, like that was a big
thing for me for a long time, seeking approval of
my mother or my family and people pleasing and not
really I was paying so much attention to the outside
world that I could not hear my inner voice speaking.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
And now it's so clear everyone relates when you say
that we all have an inner people pleaser. Yeah, and
I just want to give everyone permission to see that
self with some grace and love. Yeah, because that is
the version of us that at a very young age,
not understanding what the hell was going on, living in
(07:23):
a very chaotic and noisy world, not understanding why other
people were behaving the way they were, whether that's mom,
dad's sister, friend, whoever. We create beliefs about ourselves to
help make sense of a world that doesn't make sense.
So when we see someone maybe not pay attention to
(07:43):
us because they're tired or heartbroken or whatever, at a
very young age, we decide, well, we need their attention,
because you need your caregiver's attention for survival. So from
a brilliant place of survival, we create this strategy to
please others, to get their loving attention. That is a
survival strategy that I want us to always honor. Honor
(08:08):
is not the same thing as follow. But just notice, Oh,
I'm in this very old survival strategy that a much
younger version of myself made up to help me make
sense in the world. Do I still need that outdated strategy? No,
but I'm grateful that you, little one, you created it
(08:29):
because I'm alive right now because you did that.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Yeah, yes, that makes so much freaking sense, like moving
and surviving from a place of survival, and then you
get to a place where you're like, Okay, I did that.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
That worked for me.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Then now I'm thriving now I can, you know, which
is why I wanted to have this conversation with you,
because I'm like, Okay, I kind of know what intuition
is and being in your higher self and your authentic self,
but I really wanted the listeners to understand it, and
and you're explaining it so beautiful, which is I mean,
you are a leadership code ch and a life coach
(09:04):
and a lot of people when they asked me what's
the difference. I was just on a podcast not so
long ago, and they said, Okay, what's the difference between
therapy and life coaching?
Speaker 1 (09:11):
And I think I might.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Have explained it correctly, but I feel that obviously you
can explain it even better. So if you can just
let us know a little bit more about the difference
or what it is that you do.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
Yeah, it's a good question, because sometimes it's a very
blurry line. I'll tell clients when they first start with me, Look,
this is going to feel like three different experiences in one.
It's going to feel like therapy, but I am not
a licensed therapist. Everything that I know about healing these
little limiting beliefs is either from my own life story
(09:44):
and how I've healed them, or what I am really channeling,
what I'm receiving as a method that makes sense from
the collective consciousness, from the collective knowing. It's also going
to feel like a spiritual experience because there is an
intuitive part of me that's connecting to an intuitive part
(10:05):
of you, and it will feel like something that's inexplicable.
There's some times that I'll know things that people will
be like, well, how do you know that I'm tapping
into that gift of reading that energy, and then it'll
feel like a leadership session. It'll feel like strategy because
I come from a corporate background, so I'm a strategist
(10:26):
at heart, So it'll be very tactical and focused on
exactly what you need to do to get from A
to B. And I think it depends on the life
coach or the therapist you see. I mean, obviously therapists
are clinically trained. They are going to be more educated
about all of the different psychological things that could be happening,
(10:49):
and that is really helpful when you're trying to understand
what system is happening in your brain while you're thinking
and feeling the way you're feeling. I have lots of
therapy his friends who will say, though, that sometimes because
some therapists stick to Western medicine and a very linear
way of diagnosing things, we're missing the unspoken part. We're
(11:12):
missing the energetic part. And so for me, what I'm
doing is I'm bringing in the energetic, the unspoken, the unseen,
and blending the healing together with the reminder, oh, look
there's your higher self. Do see them? Great, that's who
you really are. Now. My goal is for you to
never need me again. That's what good looks like for me,
(11:34):
because the wisdom is within you. I'm just the reminder.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Yes, I okay, I'm just I'm so excited because this
is I think this.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
I was looking for you. I've been looking for me.
I manifested you. Look you're on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Is.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
I feel that way about every single client, every interview
I've done for this book. It's like, if the frequency
is right and the people who are listening are ready
for the mess, I'll show up or my book. My
book will just show up in people's laps, like they'll
just see it in a bookstore and then they'll DM
me and they're like, I was just in a moment
where I felt really lost and there was your book.
So there's a little magic, there's a little alchemy to
(12:13):
this message that when you're in the right place and
you're ready for it, it shows up for you.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Absolutely, I agree.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
And you do work with a lot of CEOs and
important people, right, I mean, obviously we don't.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Need never works important.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Yes, absolutely, I agree with you.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
I agree with you, But I mean, do you feel
that they are any better with trusting themselves in like
the average person.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
No, absolutely not.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
From my experience, you know what I have seen is
I work with leaders. I also work with performers and
public personalities. I think that with a certain level of
success comes a certain amount of confidence because your brain
has received evidence that you are good at the thing,
(12:59):
or that you make good decisions. And we need evidence
to believe that's just the way we humans are. We've
got to see it to believe it. So I do
think that when people have achieved and they are successful
at whatever they're doing, there is an inherent confidence that
helps them trust the next decision, but only if it's
(13:22):
a decision that fits in the tiny box of decisions
they've made before. The minute they want to move to
another box. Let's say I'm coaching a singer who now
wants to be in the movies. Immediately, imposter syndrome comes in,
I'm not enough comes in. All of these limiting beliefs
comes in. What do you mean, my intuition? Because now
(13:45):
what their desire is asking of them is to have
the courage to see themselves as their higher self in
every scenario. But the evidence part of the brain the
evidence part of the ego wants to say no, no, no, no,
we only have evidence that you're good at this thing.
So when they're coming to me, isn't a moment of
change or transition or crisis because all of a sudden
(14:07):
that system they had to trust their decision making is
completely flipped up in the air because it's new territory.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Yeah, oh my goodness, you know it's so crazy? Is that?
That's where I'm at a crossroads right now, which is
why I'm like, you know what, I know, I still
want to sing now that I've stepped back a little
bit and I've created a little bit of space, soul space,
but I feel like that's going to look different moving forward.
(14:34):
And the fear steps in exactly what you said of
the doubt, and I'm like, okay, wait, everything's going so
well here, but why is it that my soul is
telling me I need to kind.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Of just go this way a little? So it's yes.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
Yes, And what happens when you don't listen to that voice?
How does it feel?
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Oh? Horrible?
Speaker 2 (14:51):
And then I get a kick in the ass later
yes by life. Yes, And it's happened so much to me.
You guys that I have something in the pit of
my stomach and for me, that is God, that is
my intuition, that is my higher self speaking to me.
And I ignore it because of the exterior, because of
fear or it's people are not going to approve of it,
whatever it may be. And then later on it still happens.
(15:13):
It just it's out of my control. It just happens,
and I just that's the way I see it. It's
a little kick in the ass that say, hey, you
didn't listen to me earlier, so I have to kind
of push you to do it.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
Yeah, totally, I tell you know, I believe you know.
I used to do crisis management and I left that
to do this work. But I always say that oftentimes
a crisis is intuition unlistened to, intuition unfollowed, And it's
not a punishment. It's just a cause and effect. It's
(15:44):
just evidence that you're knowing was right, so that next
time you can trust it. There's always a next time.
We can take that beat up stick and put it down, Yeah,
because you will get a chance again to listen. And
the point is when will you begin to learn to
trust that wisdom?
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Yeah, And you know right now that you said punishment.
It's something that I also struggled with for a long
time because I come from like a Christian family, and
I always say, you know, I am a spiritual woman.
Now I am not religious, but I think when I
was very religious and Christian, I always felt like I
(16:22):
was going to be punished if I didn't do the
right thing. And I had this crazy amount of fear
within me that if I did something wrong, I was
going to get punished or if I didn't listen. And
now I feel that I have the choice. I don't
know how to explain it. Maybe you'll know a little
bit what I'm talking about, but I think it's important
(16:43):
to talk about that because it would paralyze me.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Yeah, I couldn't even move.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
I'm like, I'm not even going to do anything because
I'm just so freaking fearful. And now I move with
liberty and I'm like, Okay, I know, I'm just following
this feeling. But even if I take a little detour
because of whatever, X, Y and Z, it's okay, I'll
come back here. I can come back and yes, I'm
not a horrible person.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
Yeah, And are you harder to control? With this awareness.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (17:12):
Okay, going back to your very first question, why are
we not taught that were intuitive? Because it's harder to
control you. It's easier to control you when there's a
system that tells you you need to be fearful of
an external punishment. And that is not to say anything
(17:33):
about anyone's religion. I actually very much honor spirituality in
every way, and religion is one of them. But sometimes
even spirituality can be formalized into a system aka religion
that then has the human ego involved in it. Yeah,
there are other people involved in explaining though. I always
(17:55):
think about how, you know, back in the day when
they didn't want women to have any writes, women were
not allowed to read. Why they didn't want women to
read and interpret? Actually, it was illegal for a long
time for people to interpret the Bible and throughout Europe
on their own. Wow, because what did they want? What
did the Catholic Church want to be able to interpret
(18:18):
it for you? So that is a system of control.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Okay, So let's talk a little bit about men. Do
you feel that men are better at leaning into their
intuition than women?
Speaker 3 (18:37):
Yeah? I get this question a lot. I get this
question because of the term women's intuition.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
I don't believe that your intuition is connected to your
gender whatsoever. Okay, in fact, I know that it's not.
I do feel that male CEOs and executives follow their
intuition more openly and without permission. They may not talk
about it that way, but they just feel something and
(19:04):
they make a decision. I think Forbes did a study
once and sixty eight percent of ceo said they make
decisions based off their intuition. I think that women in
the workplace feel and know, but are not as allowed
to just be decisive from that place of knowing. But
I think that if you look at people in general
(19:25):
and the way they live their lives and lead their lives,
everyone is intuitive. Yeah, everyone is intuitive. The difference comes
with the level of fear that's blocking your ability to
hear and follow your intuition, and that is does not discriminate,
you know, gender color. We all have different levels of fear,
(19:45):
and we all have a highly intuitive part of us.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Yes, all of us. Yeah, I truly believe that for sure.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Every time I pray them, I thank you for my
five cents is in my sixth sense because I want
to like tap more and into it and not ignore it.
I wasted so many years on ignoring that, and like
you said, because of a fear, you know. I mean,
it's sometimes it's scary to step into the known or
to listen to it because you're like, wait. And for
a long time, Marie, I was a little obsessed with
(20:16):
like psychics because I knew what I was feeling, but
I need confirmation totally. I need someone to tell me,
and it just would cause a world of problems for me. Hmm.
I was leaning too much into that, and I felt
like I was getting even further and further away from
my own knowing. Yeah, because I was depending so much
on someone else to tell me what to do or
(20:37):
not to do.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
Yeah, oh yeah. Anytime you go see any healer or
psychic medium, really have to check what you're receiving against
your own knowing.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Always, no one knows better about you than you. Sometimes
someone who's gifted that way can open your eyes to
something that you may not have seen, but then you'll
feel that in your body as truth. Whatever truth feels
like in your body, you just know it when they
say it. But if it's hitting in a place where
(21:06):
you're like, no, that wisdom is there to guide you,
so always check everything you hear against that wisdom.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
And you can feel, like you just said, right now,
your intuition in your I feel it in my tummy. Yeah,
forensipan people, you could feel it anywhere right or yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
That's where the term gut feeling comes from, because the
gut actually has a lot to do with consciousness and
what we perceive. There's just just starting to figure that
out scientists. But the body is a very good reminder
of all experiences trauma, which feels like tightness, sharpness, pain,
(21:45):
and intuitive knowing, which can feel for a lot of
people like a little bubbly feeling their stomach. Some people
feel it like energy building in their chest. Some people
will say their fingers get a little numb, and I
say in the book, there's three ways to tell the
difference between intuition and fear when you're making a decision
in your body is one of them. Fear in your
(22:08):
body feels like a contraction, it feels like pressure, it
feels like sharpness, tightness. That's a fear thought. Intuition your
body will feel like some form of expansion or elevation,
some kind of bubbly feeling or opening sensation in your body.
I always tell people, when you're trying to get to
(22:29):
know your intuition, what is the pre thought? What's the
first feeling or thought you had in response to something
that's your intuition? And if you really pay attention to it,
it has no emotion. It's just straight up like a fact.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Damn. That's pretty freaking cool.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Because I sometimes I've learned that when I'm trying to
make a decision, I start listening. This is just so
much confirmation for me because I'm like, Okay, this is good.
I'm here, I'm getting like chills. But I'll ask myself, Okay,
do I have peace with this decision?
Speaker 1 (23:08):
And you feel it?
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Guys, like people have asked like, Okay, how is it
that you listen to that inner voice, that intuition? We
all have it, right, Mariy, Like everyone can tap into this.
Can you give us some advice or some pointers as
to how they can start if they don't feel what
it is that we're talking about. Besides reading your book,
because I really do think you guys should read it,
but are there anything any other tips that you can
(23:29):
give them.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
Yeah. The best way to start to acquaint yourself with
your intuitive voice is to decipher the difference between it
and your fear of voice. Start to pay attention when
you have to make a decision, or you meet someone,
or you're just having a thought. What does this thought
(23:50):
feel like in my body? What does it feel like
in my energy? What does it feel like in my emotion?
If it's contracted, tight, draining, upsetting, that's a fear thought.
Start to notice also the thoughts that feel calm, clear,
emotionally neutral, that's an intuitive thought. When you can give
your brain lanes, this is fear, This lane is intuition.
(24:15):
It now knows how to put things into buckets, and
you can begin to decide for yourself which bucket do
I want to choose today? Or I'm going to check
in with my fear self because it has a lot
of needs that it wants to make sure get met,
like safety, love, dignity. Okay, I hear you. Now, let
(24:36):
me take a deep breath and I literally just turn
your head to the other side, take a deep breath,
and just say, what's the go ahead, intuition, what do
you believe? And just you'll get something immediately, and then
you get to decide which thought do I want to believe,
because whichever thought you believe becomes your reality.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
From what I hear, you do believe or think that
the law of attraction is very real.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
Yeah, I mean we I want to say this in
the most clear, simple way. What we perceive is what
is real. If you don't perceive it, it's not real
to you. If you don't believe in a zebra, if
you don't believe it's real. I could be looking at
it and telling you, look, look, look at that thing,
(25:31):
but you might not fully perceive it because your consciousness
is not grabbing that part. So whatever your consciousness believes in,
that is the way that you perceive the world. That's
what that's really the basis of law of attraction, Yeah,
is that you are in alignment with that thing. Oftentimes
(25:56):
we are in alignment with fear thoughts. Yeah, so we
perceive more. I'll give you really clear evidence of this.
Have you ever woken up just in a really bad mood?
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Mm hmm, okay, yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
The way that you think about the people you interact
with that day or that morning, the way you think
about opportunities coming or not coming, to you, the way
you think about your friends and your family, your life, yourself.
How does all of that feel when you're in a
bad mood.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
It just it feels very negative, right, I just everything
is just wrong and you see all the bad in everything.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
And can you find evidence that you're right? Can the
friend be a bit of a jerk?
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (26:37):
And the rejection come through? Yeah, because you're waking up
and seeing things through the lens of negativity. Now, when
you're just in a great mood, how does your relationship
to other people or other things change? How do you
start to perceive those things?
Speaker 2 (26:59):
I mean I see the beauty and everything, and I
see that, oh I do have a great friend, and yeah,
I mean yeah for sure.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
So that very same friend that was annoying you yesterday
when you're in a bad mood, and that was real
to you, that that person was being an ass that
next day, when you're in a different headspace, all of
a sudden, is the most loyal, the funniest, whatever things
you love about them. That becomes real. So what you
perceive is what is real in your life.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
See, I mean I tell people look in the mirror
and say nice things to yourself and really, there is
at least one thing that you can find that you
love about yourself and focus on that versus oh, my
silly letter, my stretch marks. We all have defects. It's
just what we choose to focus on. And I really
believe in affirmations and mantras and all that stuff because
(27:51):
it's feeding yourself your brain, and you're also speaking it.
I really believe in the power of the tongue as well,
so we talk about that on the podcast lot.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
So I truly believe in that.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Yeah, And I think there's a danger in certain terms
being overused so that people can throw them away or
be cynical about them, right, Like manifestation is one of
those terms that has been so overused that it sort
of misses people. So part of my purpose is to
break it down in the most practical, pragmatic terms so
(28:24):
that it's not something that feels woo woo, but like
real to you. I want you to find experience in
your own life of that concept being real.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Yes, I love her, guys.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Okay, So let's talk about relationships and creating high frequency relationships.
Can you turn an existing relationship into a high frequency one?
Speaker 3 (28:48):
Everything is about your own frequency. So if you are
in that relationship from a place of need, from a
place of ooh, please fill this hole inside me that
thinks she's not he's not worthy, she or he is
not lovable, that they are not inherently worth partnership or loyalty.
(29:09):
If you have that belief about yourself, a relationship is
not going to fix that belief, and what it is
going to do is magnetize a frequency that is also
of equal value. Right, not fully healed, not fully in
a place of believing in themselves. The only way that
(29:30):
you move to a high frequency relationship is when you
begin to fill that hole inside yourself with the inherent
truth that you are worthy of love and of dignity
because you exist, because you are here literally made of
stardust science has shown in our bones, and a divine being.
(29:53):
All that means is a being that's connected to something
so much greater and full of unconditional love and deep
knowing that is your truest essence. When you know that,
and it takes work, It takes therapy, it takes healing,
It takes attending to these little selves who are stuck
in the illusion that they're not enough. When you begin
(30:16):
to attend to those littles, love your littles, as I say,
and they begin to believe you. Oh, I am worthy.
I didn't need that person to tell me I was.
I know that I am. Your frequency shifts. When your
frequency shifts, you magnetize same, same like attracts like. So
then you begin to magnetize a frequency that sees you
(30:38):
that way and that treats you that way. But if
you see yourself as inherently broken, what you bring in
are others who will treat you like you are broken
or continue to break you. People want to project their
inner shame and self hatred onto others. It's so much
(30:59):
easier to externalize that really hard feeling than to sit
with it. So if you're a broken vessel and someone
wants to project their own inner darkness, then you're the
perfect match. But the minute that you're filling those beautiful
cracks with gold and knowing of your value, uh, you
(31:21):
don't even detect that frequency anymore, the one that wants
to break you because you've elevated out of it.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Oh my gosh, you guys. Yes, Oh, I'm just I
just need to take it to breath.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Because it just feels.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
So good and and I sometimes don't even know how
to explain it. And thank Goodness for my podcast, I'm
able to just it's like it's like a form of
therapy for me. Just yes, you know, talking and sharing
my experiences to help others. But that's when I had
to face myself, when I was in one bad relationship
after another, and I said, what am I doing to
(31:56):
attract this?
Speaker 1 (31:57):
What am I doing?
Speaker 2 (31:58):
I'm I can't. I have to stop pointing my fingers
at them. Yes they have their own things, and yes
they weren't nice, and they did this and that, but
there is something within myself that keeps attracting this, attracting
the same type of man until I step back and
I said, I'm going to really figure this out and
sit in this pain and embrace it. And everything changed
(32:23):
for me and I and I tell that I tell
my listeners all the time.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
If you're trying to find a partner, you also need to.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Be willing to make the changes within yourself so that
you can attract and be a reflection of what you're
looking for. And because I feel in my relationship when
I didn't think I was ready for him, because I
was doing my own inner work, and I thought I
need to be alone for at least a year. And
God surprised me in the universe as well, but he
was also on his healing journey. He was doing therapy
(32:54):
and so was I. And I'm like, oh, this feels
so different now we're vibrating. It's just night and day. Yeah,
because I think we were both ready and working on
our individual selves to be better for ourselves but for
each other.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Right, And it's amazing.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
And you have to believe it's possible to perceive it.
If you don't believe that a partner who is respectful
or a partner who wants the very best for you, Yeah,
a partner that wants you to succeed even when they don't.
If you don't believe that person exists, you're not going
to perceive that person. Yeah. They could be standing right
(33:32):
next to you and you won't see it. And so
much of this book is the story of my own
journey from a place of my first marriage being one
where I was trying to fix someone and make them
be the husband and the dad for my kids that
I wanted that I had imagined I needed to feel
(33:52):
safe as a child of divorced parents, and my own
reckon that came from my higher self, you know, whispering
to me on the floor of my kitchen, eight months pregnant, sobbing, saying,
hold on a minute, is this what you believe you're
worthy of? Is this all that you believe there is?
(34:15):
And starting to really listen to that voice and being like,
who is that? What does that mean? Is this all
that you believe there is? And getting so curious and
beginning this journey for myself of well, if this isn't
all there is, what else is there? What would that
look like? What do I really want? What do I
want my life to look like? Oh? Wait a minute,
(34:36):
I don't think I deserve that. Oh okay, let's go
fix that. Why don't you believe you deserve that? Oh
there's that little five year old. She's sitting on the
couch by herself. Mom and dad are fighting. It is
all interconnected, but it really comes from this place of
looking at yourself and saying, do I believe I'm worthy?
Do I believe it's possible? And if the answer to
those questions is no, you've got some work to do.
(34:58):
My love amis on the other end of that work
is the most fulfilling relationships, not just romantic friendships, working
collaborations and romance, because all of a sudden, you're showing
up more whole and you're embodying your higher self, and
so people are like, ooh, I want that. I want
to be near that kind of person.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
Oh my goodness. Yes.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
For a long time, I thought all men are the
same and they're all cheaters. And I grew up in
a household where divorce was just normal and it was
like okay, next next, like if this relationship didn't work, then,
you know, And I'm like, Okay, well, I guess I'm
just going to live like that and have a different
person every so often, you know. But I had to
sit down and say I want something different. I do
(35:44):
deserve this. I real love does exist and there is
maybe there isn't a perfect man, like there isn't a
perfect woman. I'm not a perfect woman, but I'm going
to find someone that's perfect for me. Yeah, And that
it changed everything, Guys. I'm telling you because I was there,
sitting there at thirty five, going through a separation, through
a divorce, and I'm like, oh my gosh, am I
(36:05):
ever going to find that person? Appso frecolutely. Yes, you can,
you know and you will. We just have to also
be willing to make the changes.
Speaker 3 (36:15):
And become that person. Yes, no worry about finding that person,
become that person. The rest happens that part.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
Yeah, absolutely, I love it, Okay, Mariy. So before I
think we've had an amazing conversation, I'm loving this and
I know my listeners are going to love it as well.
So is there anything that from the conversation, from your book,
from your leadership that you want people to understand and
(36:45):
take away and something that's going to stick with them.
Speaker 3 (36:49):
If you go to my Instagram and you look at
my bio under my name, there are four words or
five not self help, self trust. What I am trying
to bring about is a self trust revolution, meaning that
you reject the idea that anyone knows better than you
(37:11):
about what you need and how to get there. So
I think that the last thing I want to leave
your listeners with is this truth. You have the wisdom
within you to know what to do next at all times,
and when you believe that, you will tap into that
wisdom and live a little more fulfilled, a hell of
(37:35):
a lot freer and definitely in full alignment to your
higher self.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Ooh ooh, I feel so enlightened. I feel so light.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
There's so much confirmation, and I hope that you guys
are also feeling this as well. Please pick up her book.
I picked it up. High Yourself, reclaiming the power of
your intuition and talking about your social media. Can you
share your social media with us please? People can follow you.
Speaker 3 (38:01):
Yeah, absolutely, follow me on Instagram at Maury Fontanas.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
There you guys have it, and yeah, I'm gonna be
hitting you up great, Mariy.
Speaker 3 (38:11):
I really love talking to you. You ask the most
deep and genuinely curious questions, so it's been really nice
to talk to you. Thank you for having.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Me, thank you for your time, and I love that
you are going to help so many people.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
I think this is exactly what we need right now.
And you guys, thank you for listening.
Speaker 2 (38:32):
I love you so much and I will catch you
here on the next episode of Cheeks and Chew. This
is a production of iHeartRadio and the micro Dura podcast Network.
Follow us on Instagram at Michael Dura Podcasts and follow
me Cheeky's That's c H I t U I s
for more podcasts. From iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts,
(38:55):
or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast
Speaker 1 (38:58):
And check us out on YouTube.
Host
Chiquis
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