September 26, 2022 • 35 mins
Chiquis welcomes on-air personality Evelyn Sicairos to discuss having children at a later age, the many forms of postpartum depression and what it all means in our Latino culture. Evelyn explains the pressure she felt to start a family at an early age, why she waited to have her son and why she went to therapy to break the news of her pregnancy to her parents. Evelyn and Chiquis also chat about juggling career, family and why getting older should be celebrated.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hello everybody, and welcome to cheek Ease and Chill. I
have some very exciting news to share. So Apple Podcasts
has this program called Spotlight. Basically, they pick one podcast
they love and highlight it for an entire month so
that more people can find it. That's right. Apple's editorial
team listens to thousands of podcasts and they chose cheek
(00:24):
Ease and Chill. It's the first I Heart podcast to
be highlighted, so I'm super excited about this. So if
it's your first time listening to the show, welcome, and
I'm so happy you're here. And if you've been with
me for a while, you know how I feel about you. A.
Chickens and Chill is my comfort zone. I talk about
anything and everything. Since I have you here, I wanted
to remind you of some of my favorite episodes. We
(00:47):
have one on cheating a betrayal, losing my mom Jenny,
and a really important one with my fertility doctor on
freezing my eggs. And of course I've had interviews with
some special guests, so be sure to check those out too.
New episodes drop every month to you guys, rage subscribe
to Chickens and Chill, don't forget. Now let's start the show.
(01:08):
This is why I feel it's a little bit more
quote unquote normal to a certain extent, you know, still
in like our Latino families, having children later on in
life is kind of like it was therapy during the
pregnancy and then after pregnancy because of postpartum, and yes,
it is something that we don't talk about. My mom
would be like, no nap, and I would just think,
(01:31):
I really want my parents around when I have children,
you know. But then I thought I had plenty of times.
How is everyone doing. I'm feeling pretty good. It's another
day I get to take my Chickens and Chill podcast,
so I'm very happy. Today we're talking about family values
(01:54):
in the Latin X community and some of the pressures
that come along with that. This is something I know
a lot of people will have experienced. And I have
the perfect guest for this episode, so let's jump right
into it. This is chick Ease and Chill today. I
have the pleasure of speaking with Evalency Garios. She's a
(02:16):
good friend of mine and I call her and she's
also an on air personality. So me, how are you?
I am so happy to be part of your podcast.
I love that you know, you always take the time
to invite me and to include me to all your
amazing projects, and I just always learned so much from you.
(02:38):
So thank you for having me. And I love your
audience too, and I hope we can all just grow together.
Thank you, my love. No, it's a pleasure. I love
what you do. You're good at it. So I was like,
I have to have my evalence on there because of
the topic, obviously, but before we get there, just for
those that may not know who you are, Eencaios explained
to me who you are, where you grew up up
(03:00):
or explained to us Messana, where you from your family,
and also how did you get into like the media space.
So I grew up in al Serina, which is northeast
del A. I come from a Mexican family. My parents
both are from Sinaloa State in Mexico. I grew up
at home speaking Spanish. I actually went to school Elserina
(03:21):
Elementary Elcerina, whe I stayed in the same community until
basically I went to college. But at home you would
just speak Spanish. That was my first language. And back
then there was like some type of law where you
were able to have Spanish classes to like I had.
I was in Spanish classes to like third grade, so
I learned how to read, write, and speak Spanish before English.
(03:44):
So in fourth grade it was like, Okay, now it's
all English, and I was so scared. I was like,
how is this gonna work? Same? But now I'm so
grateful for that because at home it's always been Spanish.
At school, you know, the first years it was all Spanish.
So I think that's helped me in my career. Now.
I grew up very proud of it. But then when
I got to middle school, I was a little ashamed
(04:05):
of like my dad pulling up dropping me off at school,
listening to like no. And then you grew up that way,
and when I talk to young kids, I'm like it's normal.
Even to parents now, I'm like, it's normal. We all
go through that phase where we're like, can we just
kind of blend in with with everything with culture, But
(04:28):
once you grew up, you you're proud of it. So
I grew up proud of it and then kind of
like I just want to listen to and sync and
you know, Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears. And then once
I got to college, I went to cal State Northridge.
I really was just so proud of our food, of
our music. I you know, I was proud of saying
(04:48):
where my parents were from. And it's just a beautiful thing.
And I think it's it's it's now that I'm older,
I embrace it more. And what did your major in
political science? So I wanted to be in immigration lawyer.
So when I first graduated from Kelsey Morthards, I actually
um worked at the courthouse for a few years helping
people with cases of divorce domestic violence. And I loved
(05:13):
it at first, and then there was so much need
for help. So I always felt like, what if my
parents needed this, I want to be that person that helps.
But then I got to a point where I was like,
all right, I'm over it, Like I can't do this anymore,
Like this is I got to a point where I'm like,
I'm never gonna get married, Like people just end up
fighting over the dogs and like the sofa. Try to
get out of here. And I ended up starting to
(05:36):
help a friend with her PR company, and then she
started just having me organized her files and from there,
like the next week, I was writing media alert and
PR like releases and I was like, I really like this,
and she had artists that you know, She's like, okay,
they have a red carpet, like go walk with them,
and I'm like all right, Like I can't do that.
(05:57):
So I kind of got to see the industry. And yeah,
they ended up giving me, you know, three to seven
pm radio l A for regional Mexican. But it's because again,
I love the music. When you grow up around music
(06:18):
all the time, I mean, you just know the sounds,
like I mean, it becomes part of you, the instrumento
and I've never I mean, I wish Peto, no No, Nona,
(06:40):
lomeoes mass elego. I love it that you that's how
you started. That's that's freaking dope. That's interesting. And now
now you're a mommy I am, and a wife. Yes,
the pandemic totally changed all of us, I feel in
different ways. And in my case, I think I was
(07:01):
on the go, go go go go, Yes, yes, yes
for work, I'll travel here, I'll do this, Yes, I'll
cover that, no problem. And I was working a lot
and I'm glad I got to do that. But then
when the pandemic came, I was like, all right, I'm
thirty something. I'm not gonna say how how old I am,
but I'm thirty something. And you and I had already
been talking about freezing our eggs and this, and you know,
(07:22):
you've been very open and vocal about that situation. So
I was like, you know what, like, let me know,
cheecken is how that goes? Because I think I might
do it. And then the pandemic comes and I was like,
I really want to have kids, like this is it? Like?
I want them a family? So it's planned in my head.
It was my partners don't love it. You know, for me,
(07:45):
it was important to me. It was like I'm ready,
like I want, I want this, and so when the opportunity,
well not the opportunity, but when it was the right timing,
it happened. And now I'm a mom and work was priority.
Now my child was priority, your child, And we talk
about it a lot because you're like it's a lot
juggling being you know, a mother that works. Did you
(08:07):
wait later to have children later on in life? Was
it intentional? Was it because you were just more career oriented?
I just don't think I ever met like the right
person that was like in the right state of mind
for me to actually say, wow, I can see myself
having a child with this person. And I think with
you know, my current husband, because we got married during
(08:29):
the pandemic too, we just got along in the professional level,
and he actually believes in me and supports what I do.
So he was always very like, oh, yeah, go to
that concert, yeah that interview, and other people that I
dated were always kind of jealous, like, wait, you got
too close to that artist. So I kind of was like,
all right, with this guy, I can really do it
because he believes in me, and he knows what I
(08:51):
do for a living, and he respects what I do
for a living. You know, I'm around a bunch of
guys all the time, and for someone to have the
confidence to be okay with it, so yeah, I just
I think I didn't do it before because of that,
because I think it's very important and now more than
ever I tell people Ikey Wilkin say, and because it's
(09:13):
honestly the most important job I think I will ever have.
He is now my responsibility to raise a little boy
who is happy, who believes in himself, who respects others.
Like the world we live in, this generation of children
is going to change what's happening. So it's up to us,
(09:34):
the new parents, the people having kids now, to raise
kids that are loving, that are empathetic. That's exactly what
I need. So I'm I feel like there's a lot
of my plate right now. You know I've been and
that's what I was gonna tell you. You celebrated his
his first year, his first year, and my first year
as a mom too, because I'm a whole different person now.
(09:54):
You know I'm postpartum and I've told you this before.
Postpartum really got got me good the first time. Yea,
and a lot of people don't talk about it. There's
postpartum depression and postparton like anxiety, and you say postparton,
people think, oh she was depressed. People do get that.
In my case, I didn't get to that point, but
I was scared of everything. So it's only been a
(10:16):
few months that I started feeling better. And now I'm
scared of having another one. But that's why I said
I was good with one. And now that all of
those feelings kind of are balanced, I'm like, Okay, do
I want to have a second child because I'm getting
older too. I'm glad I waited because now I'm I'm
in the right state of mind priority as my child,
(10:37):
but now having a second child, like, how how am
I going to balance? Am I just gonna go crazy?
I don't know how moms did it before having five
six ten dude, my mom five kids? No mom is
I don't know. I think times have changed, and this
is why I feel that it's a little bit more
quote unquote normal to a certain extent, you know, still
(10:58):
in like our Latino families, having children later on in
life it's kind of like you know what I mean,
And it's like, no, like you are in a good
state of mind where you're like, okay, I can I
want to raise a good little human versus when we're younger,
we're still trying to raise ourselves, you know what I mean,
Which is why I'm like, what's wrong with having kids
(11:19):
later on in life? One thing that really caught like
my attention right now was was postpartum because again, especially
in our community, it's not spoken about enough. It's kind
of like a taboo. It's you're being weak a lot
of men, because I've heard it even in my extended family,
(11:42):
where it's like that it doesn't exist. It's like depression
like that. No, you guys, it really having a child
and I haven't had my own, but I lived with
my sister. Your hormones are out of whack for an
entire year, and when the baby comes out, you're just
like a man and having a child, a growing child
in your body for nine months and they come out
(12:04):
and they take all your nutrients and you gave them everything.
You feel a little depleted, is that correct? Very depleted?
Like I said, your body, physical, emotional, spiritual. You are
shaken completely and a lot of these emotions are out
of your control. So that's why it's so important. I mean,
I seek therapy. I even did therapy during my pregnancy
(12:25):
just because I was dealing with the whole Here's another thing, right,
Like it was hard for me too, even though I
was older, and even though I'm independent and I've always
had a job, my parents like for me. I was
stressed over that, and I talked to my parents. I
was like, listen, this is my choice. I've been wanting
to have a child, and I'm happy with the decision.
(12:45):
You guys made your life choices, and they were fined
by my dad. You could tell it was a little bothered.
I mean, I'm thirty five already, you know, it was
like a pot com. So it takes a while for
them because the culture is different, the mentality is different,
and um, I was dealing with that, like, Okay, when
I tell my parents that I'm pregnant, my mom was
perfectly fine. When I tell them, How am I going
(13:07):
to handle their reaction? I kid did go to therapy
for that through my pregnancy, and it helped me because
when I did get a certain reaction, I was like,
I'm fine, I'm happy, I'm at peace. He'll come back around,
and he did. They get over it, and then now
I'm sure he's all in love with the baby. Oh yeah,
of course it is myste unquote being. But well I'm assuming, like, yeah,
(13:34):
you know, you had you got pregnant first, and then
you guys got married, right, we did during the pregnancy.
I actually I was like, we don't have to do
it just you know, because I'm pregnant, and he's like, no, like,
let's do it because when the baby is born, you
have my last name, and you know, we're a married couple.
And we were able to make decisions together at the
hospital and thereafter, you know, not we're a family, and
so now it's like, oh, we should have a big wedding,
(13:57):
and I'm like, you know what, I'm happy. Like then
I'm on the tracas. He's healthy, I'm getting back to
my rhythm, back to kind of work, dealing with leaving
the baby for fear. I still cried this morning that
(14:21):
the moment you have to go back to work. I mean,
I've have friends that say they were really happy to
go back to work because those hours give them like
freedom and independence. In my case, I still struggle. You know,
it hurts because you're like, what if he feels like
I'm a band didn't No, Yeah, I can just imagine.
So it was therapy during the pregnancy and then after
pregnancy because of postpartum, and yes, it is something that
(14:44):
we don't talk about. When it was happening to me,
I was asking my cousin's like, why did you guys
say this? Oh, because we don't want you to like
start stressing over during your pregnancy, but we need to
know these things, yes, because then you probably think, imagine,
if we don't talk about it enough, then you think,
oh my god, I'm going crazy. And like I lived
it with Jackie, my sister. I remember I was on
(15:06):
the other side of the house and the baby was
yelling on the top of her lens. I was like,
what is happening. I went to the room. The baby
was in her little bassonet crying and this was her
first child, and she was like what twenty one I
think it was, and actually twenty years old. And she
was sitting on the floor and she was just like
this face that I'll never forget and was looking at
(15:27):
the floor and she was just and I'm like, Jackie,
what's wrong. She's like, I don't know, like not crying nothing.
She's like I don't want her. Can we just take
her to the fire station? I just can't do this.
And that's when I heard about postpartum. And then my
mom when we said, she's like, oh, it's postpartum. It's normal,
like hello, Like okay, well tell us, you know what
(15:48):
I mean. And it was a little bit more talked about,
but thank goodness, it just lasted a few months, but
it's very real. And I think one day we need
to have like a panel of women talking about postpartum
because no, cissy, they said, low. She said, I feel
like I'm going crazy. I can't do this. My life
is changing. It was just too much all at once.
Her hormones are everywhere. So you know, I do appreciate
(16:09):
you sharing that. No, I just felt like, okay, can
I do this? Like? Who am I do? I still
like the same things that I used to like. And
it's hard because even now, I mean the baby, like
I said, he's fourteen months now, but I still don't
(16:31):
go out with friends. I still don't do things that
I used to do all the time before. And I
don't want to be that way. I want to be
able to have a balance because you still want to
hang on to the old you because you're fun and
you felt free. But you also love motherhood, you know,
having a little mini you run around and you know
someone that motivates you and it inspires you. Yeah, it's
(16:53):
all about balance. And it took my my sister a while,
and I would have to tell her book, get your
nose down, little things. It doesn't have to be to
leave the baby all night. I think it's just it's
question the you know, it's only been fourteen months and
and a little by little you'll get your little the
rhythm going. But before, like you had your baby boy.
He's so cute. You guys, did you feel pressure from
your parents or from your family or your cousins like
(17:16):
I did. I felt a lot of pressure, but then
it got to a point where they wouldn't even ask anymore.
Like my mom would be like no, and I would
just think, I really want my parents around when I
have children, you know. But then I thought I would think,
like no, well, maybe it's not the right time. Although
being in my mid thirties, I still felt like I
(17:38):
had plenty of time, but I did. I felt a
lot of pressure since my twenties, and now all my
girl cousins, the ones that are under twenties, I'm like nothing,
no thing, because I know I have nothing in my system.
Obviously there's like girls Trips that I would love to join.
But I do a lot of crazy things before having
(18:01):
my baby, and so I don't regret anything. I think
I did it as perfect timing. I think I accomplished
a lot in my career. I was able to experience
and enjoy a lot of things, and I dated a lot,
and I think it was a perfect timing. My mid
thirties were the perfect timing for me. For some people,
with their late thirties. For some people is their early forties. Now.
(18:22):
I just think someone in their twenties you should really
discover and explore and learn and make mistakes. You're free,
you can do whatever you want and whatever you put
you set your mind to. I'm a really firm believer
(18:44):
that we are unstoppable, especially like Latina women. Man, we
have everything going for ourselves. Hell yeah. I mean power
to everyone that had kids in their twenties these the
best is yet to come. I mean, if that's your prerogative,
(19:08):
more power to you. You know, if you want to
get married young. I I just in my personal experience,
I mean growing up my grandparents, especially because I was
the oldest grandchild, it was okay, and I'm like, uh
when they see me, and I felt like a lot
of pressure, Like but I'm like, oh my god, Like
(19:31):
I helped my mom with the kids, and how am
I going to juggle it? And I at a point
I'm like, well, okay, well maybe I should to please them.
And personally, I'm glad that I didn't. I mean, it
would have been a blessing regardless, but I'm glad that
I that I waited because the one that's gonna take
care of the baby is me, you know what I mean. Like,
so I was like, I'm glad and I'm okay with now,
(19:54):
because for a long time I felt guilty, I felt selfish.
Someone in my family once told me, well, that's what
you're here for, that's what you were made for, is
for you to reproduce. And I'm like, excuse me, that's
not all I am, you know what I mean. And
and now I'm like, I'm good with my decision. I'm
probably going to be that girl that's going to have
her baby and her late thirties, her early forties, and
(20:14):
I'm okay with that. That's like, I feel like the
new thing. And it needs to be a little bit
more normalized in our culture because I see, because of
that pressure, how many divorces there are, and because you
marry the wrong person to please your family, how many
people stay in relationships for their children. So many people
(20:36):
in the family that I know are miserable, but they're like,
you know, you know, they haven't feel you just see
it in our culture so much, and and people are miserable.
For me, I'm in a good place where now I
can say, you know what, I'm able to have my
little casa for my child, pay for daycare. I'm able
to give them the time. Um, you know, if if
(20:58):
I want to, I can travel with with my child.
There's no pressure from anyone anymore. It's kind of like exacto.
I graduated to hear the cal State Northridge. I always
(21:18):
felt like I can get whatever job I want, I
can go anywhere. We're bilingual. To man, it's a blessing.
We can do so many things. So many women with
their own businesses now, you know. So I feel like
it's important to establish that and then after that, you know,
it's okay to have kids after that. Yeah, I agree.
(21:43):
I'm gonna be honest, I don't know right now, in
this moment if I can conceive ever because of my endometriosis.
Because the last time I went to see my fertility
doctor he said that I have no say I'm not
producing enough egg. You know, I person gonn elite. Don't
let that affect me, because you know, I believe in God,
and I'm like, look, it's going to happen. If God
(22:07):
wants me to get pregnant and have a child, I'm
going to have it no matter what doctors say, I'm
curious to see what you have to say in regards
to maybe women that can't conceive. Do you feel like
adoption is an option for me? There is, But in
our culture a lot of people are kind of like,
how are you going to adopt someone that's a child
that's not yours? What do you think about that? I
(22:28):
think that if you, if people want to adopt, go
for it. There's so many children that need the love,
that need a family, that need a home, and so
people that adopt more power to them. And I'm also
all about trying everything. They I would go visit that
(22:53):
lately if I needed to, you know, Mama Juan, get
them to my eatic, But I would try why not?
And the Halloween oh yes, oh yeah, because of you
(23:18):
remember you're killing little baby. You're like, I was like,
let him, let him come in you and then just
put your legs up for a little while. And she
did it. Guys, how it works. I had forgotten right that.
I'm like that, I'm the type of person you'll do it.
(23:45):
And hell yeah, like I will go see somewhere in
Mexico or find one here in l A. I'm like,
I'm gonna have a baby. Because I don't have a baby.
The Lord is gonna make it happen. I'm a light
of candle. So I agree with you. I agree with you.
I just wanted I was curious to see what you
thought about that. And now let's talk about age, because
I heard you right now. You're like, I'm not gonna
say how old I am. Do you feel that in
(24:06):
our culture that they've made us feel the older we get,
the less viable we are. No thesa, you know, na.
They just have their own mind. They have an attitude
and this and that. And I was like, I looked
(24:28):
at him, I was like what, But it's true. When
you're thirty, you're like, I know who I am, I
know what I want. Like for your age, do you
feel like shit, like, are you proud of it? I'm
very proud of it. I'm very proud of it. In
my twenties again, because you're immature, because you're you're more
vulnerable for people to take advantage of you. And when
(24:52):
you hit thirty, but you're kind they're like, you know why,
I'm not going to live my life ama, or no,
you're not going to talk to me that way. Eence, No,
(25:13):
you know what. Now, See I I pus on the way,
I said, we figure out a way. We're like cusslers
were like, okay, don't know. Yeah, And see, this is
(25:37):
just my opinion. You guys. If you're listening to us
and you're in your early twenties and you want to
get married and do whatever you want, my thing is
just think about it. Who you're going to marry and
why do it? You know what I mean, for a
man or a woman. But that's why I feel men
like younger women bores and this email. Once i'd be
(26:01):
a little bit like embarrassed, like, oh my age. Now
I'm like, fuck that. I'm thirty seven. I'm very proud
of what I've accomplished. I'm very proud of who I am.
I feel better than ever in my twenties. I thought
I was popping. Now I'm like, I'm really popping in.
My plasty is popping into and it's beautiful and I
don't give it ship. I'm thirty seven, but my vagina
is like sucking twenty. I don't know it. Just in
(26:23):
your thirties is something else you guys, like for so
long you were taught of, like oh my god, the
older you get, you're not gonna be as desirable and
this and that, and you have to be young and
get married young, because that all that is just it's
out of the window. And I think I have my
mom to think for that because the older she got,
she would always say, like in her forties, she's like,
I feel better than ever in my forties, Like she
(26:45):
made me appreciate every year that I matured. Now I
see it that way. I'm maturing, you know what I mean.
I'm growing, I'm evolving. And I think that's another thing
that once we have our panel show, Evelyn that we've
been wanting to do for years, we gotta talk about,
you know, embracing our age. It they not forces, but
(27:16):
to be the example because they can still change to
and they can still feel empowered to, and they can
still walk away from miserable marriages, and they can still
you know, do surgery if they want to, and enhance
areas that they want to. Even with my mom, like
I can try different things like or like let's try this,
(27:39):
because I know our generation has a lot on our
plate because we are the game changers for so many things,
including reality of having kids young. You know, we're not
doing that now, and it's for the best. We have
to let go of of of so many things we've
been carrying through our ancestors. Absolutely. Yeah. I always talk
about it like, um, you know, breaking generational curses. You know,
(28:02):
it's okay to be different from the generation before us,
you know what I mean, Like, I don't have to
be I don't want to be exactly like them. I
want to be different. I want to level up and
hopefully the generation to come, I want to teach them,
inspire them. This is why I was like this perfect
if everying evident, because we get each other. I was like,
you know, I'm done with feeling like, oh my god,
(28:24):
I'm not a mom yet. The clock is taking some
and you know, for the women that are listening to me,
because you are. You know, you have your career, you're
a wife, motherhood, Like, can you talk to us about
the realness of how difficult that is? Do you have
days where you're like shit? Of course, not that you
know you regret it, of course not. That's not what
I mean. Because you love your son. I know how
(28:45):
much you love your son, how much time you want
to spend with him, But talk to us a little
bit more about that. It's really really hard, especially when you, um,
we're really good at something and then all of a sudden,
so I feel like I'm either going to be really
good at my job and kind of uh lack in
motherhood or I'm gonna be mother and slack off at
(29:05):
my job. So rather right now that the baby is
still young, I honestly my priority is being a great mother.
So there's a lot of things, a lot of opportunities
that I'm missing out on, I feel, but I'm at
your priority. Yes, I want my baby to know that
I'm around, that I love him, and I don't want
him to grow up saying yeah, you gave me everything,
(29:26):
but you were never around. Obviously we need to work,
you know, to provide and and and nowadays you really
do need to incomes to survive, especially in the state
of California for a mortgage and bills and everything. It's
really hard when it comes down to balancing. And then
talking about it how hard it is is also like
a big thing because then people start saying, was your
(29:48):
sinco was make a hit any? So you're like, okay,
I have one, and I am complaining. Maybe I'll just
shut up. Maybe I won't say how hard it is,
and I'll cry, you know, in the shower by myself. Yeah. Yeah,
(30:19):
And I feel guilty too because I know she wants
to help me, But at the same time, I want
her to have her freedom and I want her to be,
you know, with my dad or or to do things,
you know, not just stay home for those hours that
I'm working. But I'm very grateful because some people don't
have family need to help them out and confused mama
(30:44):
or no, I don't want to stay here for whatever reason.
Then I think I'm gonna feel better in just leaving
him in daycare or in you know, noa just maybe
(31:09):
I should leave work for a while and just take
care of the baby. But then you're like, wait, no, yeah,
I can imagine, and and for sure when I have
my kids that I'm gonna need you to help me
through through that and help me balance. Great already, you're
you're wonderful with kids. I love kids. There's no doubt
in my mind You're gonna be like an incredible, incredible mother.
(31:30):
Now the challenge for you, I think it's gonna be
balancing work of the projects that you have, everything that
that you have going on at first, be when you're
pregnant or when you're thinking of having kids. You're like,
oh no, I'm gonna hire someone to help me, and
I'm still gonna have three months later, I'm gonna be
back to work. And then three months later comes what
you think. Huh yeah, you get so attached. I mean,
(31:50):
I already know the type of mom I'm gonna be,
which is why I'm like, let me wait a little bit,
because I'm gonna be straight up. I want to be
a little selfish right now because I help raise my
my siblings, so you'll see into I guess it jos
taking them to school and this and that and the homework,
and it's just I feel like I've been through it all.
Obio's defendent. They want to want to. I just know,
(32:12):
do you have advice for new moms out there trying
to find that balance, anything that you can tell them,
talk about your feelings, don't hold anything in. Now I'm
even more connected to like friends of mine that were
moms that before I wouldn't be like tempo, but now
I get it. You know, sometimes you feel like you're
all alone and reality so many people are going through it,
(32:34):
and you feel better when you hear how they're coping
with situations, and you find solutions to certain things by
hearing other people's experiences. And there's you're never really prepared
for motherhood, Okay, say see postpartum. You know it's real.
(32:54):
Exist and to like I said in the beginning, make
sure you're having children with the right person that's gonna
treat you right. That you guys have the same values
and just you know, live life and love it team
(33:19):
with as you mm hmm. Evelyn, thank you, thank you
for being on the podcast. Thank you for opening up
your heart, for being just open about things that we
go through as Latina women. And you guys please follow
her on social media. Plug it in where can they
hear you on the radio? Your social media so that
people can stay current with you. That's how you find me,
(33:41):
and that's where you guys will see what I'm doing
and you know what I'm working on, and I'm gonna
embrace the process. And I think it's time to also
take risks. Before I was in my comfort zone. Now
I'm like, Okayambien with that masses passed your mama. I
(34:03):
love that, Evelyn. I love I cannot wait to see
what you have brewing and the ideas that you have,
because I know we've talked about a few, but I
can't wait to see what the future holds for you
and for all of my regular listeners. You already know
what time it is. It's time for our motivational quote.
And this is a quote. I think this is the
(34:26):
first time that we have a Spanish quote. Eliza Claso
that they've boiled the Emira las esterday. Yes I was
a guy, Eliza. Thank you guys so much. Evelyn, I
love you. Thank you so much, my listeners. I love
(34:47):
you guys with all my heart. I will catch you
on the next episode of Chickens and Chill. Do you
need advice on love, relationships, health? Imas. I'm so excited
to share with you that my Cheeks and Chill podcast
will have an extra episode drop each week. I'll be
answering all your questions. Just leave me a voice message.
(35:13):
All you have to do is go to speak pipe
dot com slash Cheeks and Chill podcast and record your questions.
I can't wait to hear from you. This is a
production of I Heart Radio and the Michael Dura Podcast Network.
Follow us on Instagram, at Michael Dura Podcasts and follow
me checks That's c h i q u i s.
(35:34):
For more podcasts from My Heart, visit the I Heart
Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your
favorite podcasts.
Hello everybody, and welcome to cheek Ease and Chill. I
have some very exciting news to share. So Apple Podcasts
has this program called Spotlight. Basically, they pick one podcast
they love and highlight it for an entire month so
that more people can find it. That's right. Apple's editorial
team listens to thousands of podcasts and they chose cheek
(00:24):
Ease and Chill. It's the first I Heart podcast to
be highlighted, so I'm super excited about this. So if
it's your first time listening to the show, welcome, and
I'm so happy you're here. And if you've been with
me for a while, you know how I feel about you. A.
Chickens and Chill is my comfort zone. I talk about
anything and everything. Since I have you here, I wanted
to remind you of some of my favorite episodes. We
(00:47):
have one on cheating a betrayal, losing my mom Jenny,
and a really important one with my fertility doctor on
freezing my eggs. And of course I've had interviews with
some special guests, so be sure to check those out too.
New episodes drop every month to you guys, rage subscribe
to Chickens and Chill, don't forget. Now let's start the show.
(01:08):
This is why I feel it's a little bit more
quote unquote normal to a certain extent, you know, still
in like our Latino families, having children later on in
life is kind of like it was therapy during the
pregnancy and then after pregnancy because of postpartum, and yes,
it is something that we don't talk about. My mom
would be like, no nap, and I would just think,
(01:31):
I really want my parents around when I have children,
you know. But then I thought I had plenty of times.
How is everyone doing. I'm feeling pretty good. It's another
day I get to take my Chickens and Chill podcast,
so I'm very happy. Today we're talking about family values
(01:54):
in the Latin X community and some of the pressures
that come along with that. This is something I know
a lot of people will have experienced. And I have
the perfect guest for this episode, so let's jump right
into it. This is chick Ease and Chill today. I
have the pleasure of speaking with Evalency Garios. She's a
(02:16):
good friend of mine and I call her and she's
also an on air personality. So me, how are you?
I am so happy to be part of your podcast.
I love that you know, you always take the time
to invite me and to include me to all your
amazing projects, and I just always learned so much from you.
(02:38):
So thank you for having me. And I love your
audience too, and I hope we can all just grow together.
Thank you, my love. No, it's a pleasure. I love
what you do. You're good at it. So I was like,
I have to have my evalence on there because of
the topic, obviously, but before we get there, just for
those that may not know who you are, Eencaios explained
to me who you are, where you grew up up
(03:00):
or explained to us Messana, where you from your family,
and also how did you get into like the media space.
So I grew up in al Serina, which is northeast
del A. I come from a Mexican family. My parents
both are from Sinaloa State in Mexico. I grew up
at home speaking Spanish. I actually went to school Elserina
(03:21):
Elementary Elcerina, whe I stayed in the same community until
basically I went to college. But at home you would
just speak Spanish. That was my first language. And back
then there was like some type of law where you
were able to have Spanish classes to like I had.
I was in Spanish classes to like third grade, so
I learned how to read, write, and speak Spanish before English.
(03:44):
So in fourth grade it was like, Okay, now it's
all English, and I was so scared. I was like,
how is this gonna work? Same? But now I'm so
grateful for that because at home it's always been Spanish.
At school, you know, the first years it was all Spanish.
So I think that's helped me in my career. Now.
I grew up very proud of it. But then when
I got to middle school, I was a little ashamed
(04:05):
of like my dad pulling up dropping me off at school,
listening to like no. And then you grew up that way,
and when I talk to young kids, I'm like it's normal.
Even to parents now, I'm like, it's normal. We all
go through that phase where we're like, can we just
kind of blend in with with everything with culture, But
(04:28):
once you grew up, you you're proud of it. So
I grew up proud of it and then kind of
like I just want to listen to and sync and
you know, Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears. And then once
I got to college, I went to cal State Northridge.
I really was just so proud of our food, of
our music. I you know, I was proud of saying
(04:48):
where my parents were from. And it's just a beautiful thing.
And I think it's it's it's now that I'm older,
I embrace it more. And what did your major in
political science? So I wanted to be in immigration lawyer.
So when I first graduated from Kelsey Morthards, I actually
um worked at the courthouse for a few years helping
people with cases of divorce domestic violence. And I loved
(05:13):
it at first, and then there was so much need
for help. So I always felt like, what if my
parents needed this, I want to be that person that helps.
But then I got to a point where I was like,
all right, I'm over it, Like I can't do this anymore,
Like this is I got to a point where I'm like,
I'm never gonna get married, Like people just end up
fighting over the dogs and like the sofa. Try to
get out of here. And I ended up starting to
(05:36):
help a friend with her PR company, and then she
started just having me organized her files and from there,
like the next week, I was writing media alert and
PR like releases and I was like, I really like this,
and she had artists that you know, She's like, okay,
they have a red carpet, like go walk with them,
and I'm like all right, Like I can't do that.
(05:57):
So I kind of got to see the industry. And yeah,
they ended up giving me, you know, three to seven
pm radio l A for regional Mexican. But it's because again,
I love the music. When you grow up around music
(06:18):
all the time, I mean, you just know the sounds,
like I mean, it becomes part of you, the instrumento
and I've never I mean, I wish Peto, no No, Nona,
(06:40):
lomeoes mass elego. I love it that you that's how
you started. That's that's freaking dope. That's interesting. And now
now you're a mommy I am, and a wife. Yes,
the pandemic totally changed all of us, I feel in
different ways. And in my case, I think I was
(07:01):
on the go, go go go go, Yes, yes, yes
for work, I'll travel here, I'll do this, Yes, I'll
cover that, no problem. And I was working a lot
and I'm glad I got to do that. But then
when the pandemic came, I was like, all right, I'm
thirty something. I'm not gonna say how how old I am,
but I'm thirty something. And you and I had already
been talking about freezing our eggs and this, and you know,
(07:22):
you've been very open and vocal about that situation. So
I was like, you know what, like, let me know,
cheecken is how that goes? Because I think I might
do it. And then the pandemic comes and I was like,
I really want to have kids, like this is it? Like?
I want them a family? So it's planned in my head.
It was my partners don't love it. You know, for me,
(07:45):
it was important to me. It was like I'm ready,
like I want, I want this, and so when the opportunity,
well not the opportunity, but when it was the right timing,
it happened. And now I'm a mom and work was priority.
Now my child was priority, your child, And we talk
about it a lot because you're like it's a lot
juggling being you know, a mother that works. Did you
(08:07):
wait later to have children later on in life? Was
it intentional? Was it because you were just more career oriented?
I just don't think I ever met like the right
person that was like in the right state of mind
for me to actually say, wow, I can see myself
having a child with this person. And I think with
you know, my current husband, because we got married during
(08:29):
the pandemic too, we just got along in the professional level,
and he actually believes in me and supports what I do.
So he was always very like, oh, yeah, go to
that concert, yeah that interview, and other people that I
dated were always kind of jealous, like, wait, you got
too close to that artist. So I kind of was like,
all right, with this guy, I can really do it
because he believes in me, and he knows what I
(08:51):
do for a living, and he respects what I do
for a living. You know, I'm around a bunch of
guys all the time, and for someone to have the
confidence to be okay with it, so yeah, I just
I think I didn't do it before because of that,
because I think it's very important and now more than
ever I tell people Ikey Wilkin say, and because it's
(09:13):
honestly the most important job I think I will ever have.
He is now my responsibility to raise a little boy
who is happy, who believes in himself, who respects others.
Like the world we live in, this generation of children
is going to change what's happening. So it's up to us,
(09:34):
the new parents, the people having kids now, to raise
kids that are loving, that are empathetic. That's exactly what
I need. So I'm I feel like there's a lot
of my plate right now. You know I've been and
that's what I was gonna tell you. You celebrated his
his first year, his first year, and my first year
as a mom too, because I'm a whole different person now.
(09:54):
You know I'm postpartum and I've told you this before.
Postpartum really got got me good the first time. Yea,
and a lot of people don't talk about it. There's
postpartum depression and postparton like anxiety, and you say postparton,
people think, oh she was depressed. People do get that.
In my case, I didn't get to that point, but
I was scared of everything. So it's only been a
(10:16):
few months that I started feeling better. And now I'm
scared of having another one. But that's why I said
I was good with one. And now that all of
those feelings kind of are balanced, I'm like, Okay, do
I want to have a second child because I'm getting
older too. I'm glad I waited because now I'm I'm
in the right state of mind priority as my child,
(10:37):
but now having a second child, like, how how am
I going to balance? Am I just gonna go crazy?
I don't know how moms did it before having five
six ten dude, my mom five kids? No mom is
I don't know. I think times have changed, and this
is why I feel that it's a little bit more
quote unquote normal to a certain extent, you know, still
(10:58):
in like our Latino families, having children later on in
life it's kind of like you know what I mean,
And it's like, no, like you are in a good
state of mind where you're like, okay, I can I
want to raise a good little human versus when we're younger,
we're still trying to raise ourselves, you know what I mean,
Which is why I'm like, what's wrong with having kids
(11:19):
later on in life? One thing that really caught like
my attention right now was was postpartum because again, especially
in our community, it's not spoken about enough. It's kind
of like a taboo. It's you're being weak a lot
of men, because I've heard it even in my extended family,
(11:42):
where it's like that it doesn't exist. It's like depression
like that. No, you guys, it really having a child
and I haven't had my own, but I lived with
my sister. Your hormones are out of whack for an
entire year, and when the baby comes out, you're just
like a man and having a child, a growing child
in your body for nine months and they come out
(12:04):
and they take all your nutrients and you gave them everything.
You feel a little depleted, is that correct? Very depleted?
Like I said, your body, physical, emotional, spiritual. You are
shaken completely and a lot of these emotions are out
of your control. So that's why it's so important. I mean,
I seek therapy. I even did therapy during my pregnancy
(12:25):
just because I was dealing with the whole Here's another thing, right,
Like it was hard for me too, even though I
was older, and even though I'm independent and I've always
had a job, my parents like for me. I was
stressed over that, and I talked to my parents. I
was like, listen, this is my choice. I've been wanting
to have a child, and I'm happy with the decision.
(12:45):
You guys made your life choices, and they were fined
by my dad. You could tell it was a little bothered.
I mean, I'm thirty five already, you know, it was
like a pot com. So it takes a while for
them because the culture is different, the mentality is different,
and um, I was dealing with that, like, Okay, when
I tell my parents that I'm pregnant, my mom was
perfectly fine. When I tell them, How am I going
(13:07):
to handle their reaction? I kid did go to therapy
for that through my pregnancy, and it helped me because
when I did get a certain reaction, I was like,
I'm fine, I'm happy, I'm at peace. He'll come back around,
and he did. They get over it, and then now
I'm sure he's all in love with the baby. Oh yeah,
of course it is myste unquote being. But well I'm assuming, like, yeah,
(13:34):
you know, you had you got pregnant first, and then
you guys got married, right, we did during the pregnancy.
I actually I was like, we don't have to do
it just you know, because I'm pregnant, and he's like, no, like,
let's do it because when the baby is born, you
have my last name, and you know, we're a married couple.
And we were able to make decisions together at the
hospital and thereafter, you know, not we're a family, and
so now it's like, oh, we should have a big wedding,
(13:57):
and I'm like, you know what, I'm happy. Like then
I'm on the tracas. He's healthy, I'm getting back to
my rhythm, back to kind of work, dealing with leaving
the baby for fear. I still cried this morning that
(14:21):
the moment you have to go back to work. I mean,
I've have friends that say they were really happy to
go back to work because those hours give them like
freedom and independence. In my case, I still struggle. You know,
it hurts because you're like, what if he feels like
I'm a band didn't No, Yeah, I can just imagine.
So it was therapy during the pregnancy and then after
pregnancy because of postpartum, and yes, it is something that
(14:44):
we don't talk about. When it was happening to me,
I was asking my cousin's like, why did you guys
say this? Oh, because we don't want you to like
start stressing over during your pregnancy, but we need to
know these things, yes, because then you probably think, imagine,
if we don't talk about it enough, then you think,
oh my god, I'm going crazy. And like I lived
it with Jackie, my sister. I remember I was on
(15:06):
the other side of the house and the baby was
yelling on the top of her lens. I was like,
what is happening. I went to the room. The baby
was in her little bassonet crying and this was her
first child, and she was like what twenty one I
think it was, and actually twenty years old. And she
was sitting on the floor and she was just like
this face that I'll never forget and was looking at
(15:27):
the floor and she was just and I'm like, Jackie,
what's wrong. She's like, I don't know, like not crying nothing.
She's like I don't want her. Can we just take
her to the fire station? I just can't do this.
And that's when I heard about postpartum. And then my
mom when we said, she's like, oh, it's postpartum. It's normal,
like hello, Like okay, well tell us, you know what
(15:48):
I mean. And it was a little bit more talked about,
but thank goodness, it just lasted a few months, but
it's very real. And I think one day we need
to have like a panel of women talking about postpartum
because no, cissy, they said, low. She said, I feel
like I'm going crazy. I can't do this. My life
is changing. It was just too much all at once.
Her hormones are everywhere. So you know, I do appreciate
(16:09):
you sharing that. No, I just felt like, okay, can
I do this? Like? Who am I do? I still
like the same things that I used to like. And
it's hard because even now, I mean the baby, like
I said, he's fourteen months now, but I still don't
(16:31):
go out with friends. I still don't do things that
I used to do all the time before. And I
don't want to be that way. I want to be
able to have a balance because you still want to
hang on to the old you because you're fun and
you felt free. But you also love motherhood, you know,
having a little mini you run around and you know
someone that motivates you and it inspires you. Yeah, it's
(16:53):
all about balance. And it took my my sister a while,
and I would have to tell her book, get your
nose down, little things. It doesn't have to be to
leave the baby all night. I think it's just it's
question the you know, it's only been fourteen months and
and a little by little you'll get your little the
rhythm going. But before, like you had your baby boy.
He's so cute. You guys, did you feel pressure from
your parents or from your family or your cousins like
(17:16):
I did. I felt a lot of pressure, but then
it got to a point where they wouldn't even ask anymore.
Like my mom would be like no, and I would
just think, I really want my parents around when I
have children, you know. But then I thought I would think,
like no, well, maybe it's not the right time. Although
being in my mid thirties, I still felt like I
(17:38):
had plenty of time, but I did. I felt a
lot of pressure since my twenties, and now all my
girl cousins, the ones that are under twenties, I'm like nothing,
no thing, because I know I have nothing in my system.
Obviously there's like girls Trips that I would love to join.
But I do a lot of crazy things before having
(18:01):
my baby, and so I don't regret anything. I think
I did it as perfect timing. I think I accomplished
a lot in my career. I was able to experience
and enjoy a lot of things, and I dated a lot,
and I think it was a perfect timing. My mid
thirties were the perfect timing for me. For some people,
with their late thirties. For some people is their early forties. Now.
(18:22):
I just think someone in their twenties you should really
discover and explore and learn and make mistakes. You're free,
you can do whatever you want and whatever you put
you set your mind to. I'm a really firm believer
(18:44):
that we are unstoppable, especially like Latina women. Man, we
have everything going for ourselves. Hell yeah. I mean power
to everyone that had kids in their twenties these the
best is yet to come. I mean, if that's your prerogative,
(19:08):
more power to you. You know, if you want to
get married young. I I just in my personal experience,
I mean growing up my grandparents, especially because I was
the oldest grandchild, it was okay, and I'm like, uh
when they see me, and I felt like a lot
of pressure, Like but I'm like, oh my god, Like
(19:31):
I helped my mom with the kids, and how am
I going to juggle it? And I at a point
I'm like, well, okay, well maybe I should to please them.
And personally, I'm glad that I didn't. I mean, it
would have been a blessing regardless, but I'm glad that
I that I waited because the one that's gonna take
care of the baby is me, you know what I mean. Like,
so I was like, I'm glad and I'm okay with now,
(19:54):
because for a long time I felt guilty, I felt selfish.
Someone in my family once told me, well, that's what
you're here for, that's what you were made for, is
for you to reproduce. And I'm like, excuse me, that's
not all I am, you know what I mean. And
and now I'm like, I'm good with my decision. I'm
probably going to be that girl that's going to have
her baby and her late thirties, her early forties, and
(20:14):
I'm okay with that. That's like, I feel like the
new thing. And it needs to be a little bit
more normalized in our culture because I see, because of
that pressure, how many divorces there are, and because you
marry the wrong person to please your family, how many
people stay in relationships for their children. So many people
(20:36):
in the family that I know are miserable, but they're like,
you know, you know, they haven't feel you just see
it in our culture so much, and and people are miserable.
For me, I'm in a good place where now I
can say, you know what, I'm able to have my
little casa for my child, pay for daycare. I'm able
to give them the time. Um, you know, if if
(20:58):
I want to, I can travel with with my child.
There's no pressure from anyone anymore. It's kind of like exacto.
I graduated to hear the cal State Northridge. I always
(21:18):
felt like I can get whatever job I want, I
can go anywhere. We're bilingual. To man, it's a blessing.
We can do so many things. So many women with
their own businesses now, you know. So I feel like
it's important to establish that and then after that, you know,
it's okay to have kids after that. Yeah, I agree.
(21:43):
I'm gonna be honest, I don't know right now, in
this moment if I can conceive ever because of my endometriosis.
Because the last time I went to see my fertility
doctor he said that I have no say I'm not
producing enough egg. You know, I person gonn elite. Don't
let that affect me, because you know, I believe in God,
and I'm like, look, it's going to happen. If God
(22:07):
wants me to get pregnant and have a child, I'm
going to have it no matter what doctors say, I'm
curious to see what you have to say in regards
to maybe women that can't conceive. Do you feel like
adoption is an option for me? There is, But in
our culture a lot of people are kind of like,
how are you going to adopt someone that's a child
that's not yours? What do you think about that? I
(22:28):
think that if you, if people want to adopt, go
for it. There's so many children that need the love,
that need a family, that need a home, and so
people that adopt more power to them. And I'm also
all about trying everything. They I would go visit that
(22:53):
lately if I needed to, you know, Mama Juan, get
them to my eatic, But I would try why not?
And the Halloween oh yes, oh yeah, because of you
(23:18):
remember you're killing little baby. You're like, I was like,
let him, let him come in you and then just
put your legs up for a little while. And she
did it. Guys, how it works. I had forgotten right that.
I'm like that, I'm the type of person you'll do it.
(23:45):
And hell yeah, like I will go see somewhere in
Mexico or find one here in l A. I'm like,
I'm gonna have a baby. Because I don't have a baby.
The Lord is gonna make it happen. I'm a light
of candle. So I agree with you. I agree with you.
I just wanted I was curious to see what you
thought about that. And now let's talk about age, because
I heard you right now. You're like, I'm not gonna
say how old I am. Do you feel that in
(24:06):
our culture that they've made us feel the older we get,
the less viable we are. No thesa, you know, na.
They just have their own mind. They have an attitude
and this and that. And I was like, I looked
(24:28):
at him, I was like what, But it's true. When
you're thirty, you're like, I know who I am, I
know what I want. Like for your age, do you
feel like shit, like, are you proud of it? I'm
very proud of it. I'm very proud of it. In
my twenties again, because you're immature, because you're you're more
vulnerable for people to take advantage of you. And when
(24:52):
you hit thirty, but you're kind they're like, you know why,
I'm not going to live my life ama, or no,
you're not going to talk to me that way. Eence, No,
(25:13):
you know what. Now, See I I pus on the way,
I said, we figure out a way. We're like cusslers
were like, okay, don't know. Yeah, And see, this is
(25:37):
just my opinion. You guys. If you're listening to us
and you're in your early twenties and you want to
get married and do whatever you want, my thing is
just think about it. Who you're going to marry and
why do it? You know what I mean, for a
man or a woman. But that's why I feel men
like younger women bores and this email. Once i'd be
(26:01):
a little bit like embarrassed, like, oh my age. Now
I'm like, fuck that. I'm thirty seven. I'm very proud
of what I've accomplished. I'm very proud of who I am.
I feel better than ever in my twenties. I thought
I was popping. Now I'm like, I'm really popping in.
My plasty is popping into and it's beautiful and I
don't give it ship. I'm thirty seven, but my vagina
is like sucking twenty. I don't know it. Just in
(26:23):
your thirties is something else you guys, like for so
long you were taught of, like oh my god, the
older you get, you're not gonna be as desirable and
this and that, and you have to be young and
get married young, because that all that is just it's
out of the window. And I think I have my
mom to think for that because the older she got,
she would always say, like in her forties, she's like,
I feel better than ever in my forties, Like she
(26:45):
made me appreciate every year that I matured. Now I
see it that way. I'm maturing, you know what I mean.
I'm growing, I'm evolving. And I think that's another thing
that once we have our panel show, Evelyn that we've
been wanting to do for years, we gotta talk about,
you know, embracing our age. It they not forces, but
(27:16):
to be the example because they can still change to
and they can still feel empowered to, and they can
still walk away from miserable marriages, and they can still
you know, do surgery if they want to, and enhance
areas that they want to. Even with my mom, like
I can try different things like or like let's try this,
(27:39):
because I know our generation has a lot on our
plate because we are the game changers for so many things,
including reality of having kids young. You know, we're not
doing that now, and it's for the best. We have
to let go of of of so many things we've
been carrying through our ancestors. Absolutely. Yeah. I always talk
about it like, um, you know, breaking generational curses. You know,
(28:02):
it's okay to be different from the generation before us,
you know what I mean, Like, I don't have to
be I don't want to be exactly like them. I
want to be different. I want to level up and
hopefully the generation to come, I want to teach them,
inspire them. This is why I was like this perfect
if everying evident, because we get each other. I was like,
you know, I'm done with feeling like, oh my god,
(28:24):
I'm not a mom yet. The clock is taking some
and you know, for the women that are listening to me,
because you are. You know, you have your career, you're
a wife, motherhood, Like, can you talk to us about
the realness of how difficult that is? Do you have
days where you're like shit? Of course, not that you
know you regret it, of course not. That's not what
I mean. Because you love your son. I know how
(28:45):
much you love your son, how much time you want
to spend with him, But talk to us a little
bit more about that. It's really really hard, especially when you, um,
we're really good at something and then all of a sudden,
so I feel like I'm either going to be really
good at my job and kind of uh lack in
motherhood or I'm gonna be mother and slack off at
(29:05):
my job. So rather right now that the baby is
still young, I honestly my priority is being a great mother.
So there's a lot of things, a lot of opportunities
that I'm missing out on, I feel, but I'm at
your priority. Yes, I want my baby to know that
I'm around, that I love him, and I don't want
him to grow up saying yeah, you gave me everything,
(29:26):
but you were never around. Obviously we need to work,
you know, to provide and and and nowadays you really
do need to incomes to survive, especially in the state
of California for a mortgage and bills and everything. It's
really hard when it comes down to balancing. And then
talking about it how hard it is is also like
a big thing because then people start saying, was your
(29:48):
sinco was make a hit any? So you're like, okay,
I have one, and I am complaining. Maybe I'll just
shut up. Maybe I won't say how hard it is,
and I'll cry, you know, in the shower by myself. Yeah. Yeah,
(30:19):
And I feel guilty too because I know she wants
to help me, But at the same time, I want
her to have her freedom and I want her to be,
you know, with my dad or or to do things,
you know, not just stay home for those hours that
I'm working. But I'm very grateful because some people don't
have family need to help them out and confused mama
(30:44):
or no, I don't want to stay here for whatever reason.
Then I think I'm gonna feel better in just leaving
him in daycare or in you know, noa just maybe
(31:09):
I should leave work for a while and just take
care of the baby. But then you're like, wait, no, yeah,
I can imagine, and and for sure when I have
my kids that I'm gonna need you to help me
through through that and help me balance. Great already, you're
you're wonderful with kids. I love kids. There's no doubt
in my mind You're gonna be like an incredible, incredible mother.
(31:30):
Now the challenge for you, I think it's gonna be
balancing work of the projects that you have, everything that
that you have going on at first, be when you're
pregnant or when you're thinking of having kids. You're like,
oh no, I'm gonna hire someone to help me, and
I'm still gonna have three months later, I'm gonna be
back to work. And then three months later comes what
you think. Huh yeah, you get so attached. I mean,
(31:50):
I already know the type of mom I'm gonna be,
which is why I'm like, let me wait a little bit,
because I'm gonna be straight up. I want to be
a little selfish right now because I help raise my
my siblings, so you'll see into I guess it jos
taking them to school and this and that and the homework,
and it's just I feel like I've been through it all.
Obio's defendent. They want to want to. I just know,
(32:12):
do you have advice for new moms out there trying
to find that balance, anything that you can tell them,
talk about your feelings, don't hold anything in. Now I'm
even more connected to like friends of mine that were
moms that before I wouldn't be like tempo, but now
I get it. You know, sometimes you feel like you're
all alone and reality so many people are going through it,
(32:34):
and you feel better when you hear how they're coping
with situations, and you find solutions to certain things by
hearing other people's experiences. And there's you're never really prepared
for motherhood, Okay, say see postpartum. You know it's real.
(32:54):
Exist and to like I said in the beginning, make
sure you're having children with the right person that's gonna
treat you right. That you guys have the same values
and just you know, live life and love it team
(33:19):
with as you mm hmm. Evelyn, thank you, thank you
for being on the podcast. Thank you for opening up
your heart, for being just open about things that we
go through as Latina women. And you guys please follow
her on social media. Plug it in where can they
hear you on the radio? Your social media so that
people can stay current with you. That's how you find me,
(33:41):
and that's where you guys will see what I'm doing
and you know what I'm working on, and I'm gonna
embrace the process. And I think it's time to also
take risks. Before I was in my comfort zone. Now
I'm like, Okayambien with that masses passed your mama. I
(34:03):
love that, Evelyn. I love I cannot wait to see
what you have brewing and the ideas that you have,
because I know we've talked about a few, but I
can't wait to see what the future holds for you
and for all of my regular listeners. You already know
what time it is. It's time for our motivational quote.
And this is a quote. I think this is the
(34:26):
first time that we have a Spanish quote. Eliza Claso
that they've boiled the Emira las esterday. Yes I was
a guy, Eliza. Thank you guys so much. Evelyn, I
love you. Thank you so much, my listeners. I love
(34:47):
you guys with all my heart. I will catch you
on the next episode of Chickens and Chill. Do you
need advice on love, relationships, health? Imas. I'm so excited
to share with you that my Cheeks and Chill podcast
will have an extra episode drop each week. I'll be
answering all your questions. Just leave me a voice message.
(35:13):
All you have to do is go to speak pipe
dot com slash Cheeks and Chill podcast and record your questions.
I can't wait to hear from you. This is a
production of I Heart Radio and the Michael Dura Podcast Network.
Follow us on Instagram, at Michael Dura Podcasts and follow
me checks That's c h i q u i s.
(35:34):
For more podcasts from My Heart, visit the I Heart
Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your
favorite podcasts.
Host
Chiquis
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.