June 30, 2025 • 41 mins
Hello, beautiful listeners! You’re not going to want to miss this episode of Chiquis and Chill. My husband Emilio Sanchez joins me to talk about the highs and lows of our first year of marriage, including how we transitioned back to reality after the honeymoon phase. Plus, I’ll share why I decided to stop IVF just weeks before we were scheduled to transfer the embryo.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hello, my beautiful people. Welcome to your favorite podcast, Cheek
Is in Chill, where you come to Chill to listen,
to grow, and to glow. I hope you all are
enjoying season four, because I definitely am. We've covered so
many different topics and I can't wait for you guys
to hear what else we have in store for you.
So let me get into today's episode because our guest
(00:25):
is a very special guest and he's very excited to
be here, and I'm excited that he's here and I'm
excited to have him. His name is Emilio marist Sanchez.
He happens to be my husband.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Say hello, babe, Hi, beautiful girl.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
So I'm putting him on the hot seat today because
we're going to talk about our first year of marriage
and how it's gone and how we're navigating challenges and situations.
And then we'll wrap up the episode with some advice
for any newlyweds out there, So be sure to listen
to the entire episode.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Are you ready, bibe?
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Yes? I am all right.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
So before we get into it, I wanted to give
you guys a little recap. We tied the knot on
July fifth, twenty twenty four. It was a very intimate
wedding in Las Vegas, and it was a very special night.
It's a very special day that I'll never forget. And
we did not prepare for this episode. I mean, that's
the way I like to do things, you guys. I
like to just speak from the heart. He doesn't know
(01:21):
exactly what we're going to talk about. We're just gonna
say the truth because everyone, not everyone, but a lot
of people have shared that the first year of marriage
is the hardest, and I don't know. I wouldn't say
that it was. I mean, it wasn't easy peasy, I'll
tell you that much. So let's go back to last
(01:43):
year when we got married. Okay, I think because we
were in the middle of touring and we had a
very busy year, we spent a lot of time together
that we were very fortunate that even though we were
both working, because you had you were on tour with
Becky and then I was on lakadem I was doing
so much, but we were able to spend a lot
of time together.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Yeah, and so I feel.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Like we were just in the nitty gritty and working
and grinding that it felt. Yes, we're married and it
was good and I don't feel like it was in
any way bad. But then things slowed down and I
feel like stuff got real in January of this year.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Yeah, why, well, I just want to kind of explain
on like how crazy it was last year, because because
it's like, yeah, we did get married, and then it
was just so many things. And while all these things
are happening, you also dropped Gesiga Passando, which was like
our marriage anthem for the year. And looking back at
(02:48):
it now, it was like it was very present, like
we felt we felt a love from everybody. It was
just a love year. You know.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
It was beautiful for sure, it was.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
A lot it was. It felt really good, It was
really fun, and it felt big, you know in our lives,
well for me.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
At least same.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
And and then yeah, in January, then it calmed down.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
It did calm down, I think because you know, the
dust started settling in other words, and you know, things
started slowing down, and then I started IVF.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Yeah, January was just so much just remind me, I mean,
just a lot of even I mean the last few
days of our vacation that's when the Los Angeles fire started,
and I think it had such an impact on us,
especially because you know, we live here in Los Angeles
(03:43):
and it affected a lot of people and a lot
of people we care about and just our city, you know,
and I wrecked me.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
Guys.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
It started like a kind of a snowball effect from there.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
For sure, I agree with you, and that's why I'm
so glad that I can talk to you about this,
because I tend to forget things, you guys, and apparently
it's due to traumatic experiences in my childhood that that's
like a coping mechanism. This is something I just recently learned,
because I'm like, why is it that I can't remember
(04:19):
certain things. I have to write things down and then
I just unless I see a picture then it sparks
the memory. So anyway, I'm glad you did bring that
up because it took me back to last year November,
and I remember us being in Miami and it was
beautiful because I won my third Latin Grammy. You were
with me, we took awesome pictures and I think that
was the beginning of me taking medication for IVF. So
(04:39):
I was feeling it, but not as heavily. And then
in December was when we went to the Philippines and
we had our vacation and it was amazing. And then
at the tail end of it, I was doing my
best to just not be on my phone because that's
one of the biggest things with Amlie and I that
he likes me to be present and not work as much,
(05:00):
which I appreciate. It's a little difficult. I think that's
been one of the hardest things in our relationship. And
correct me if I'm wrong, babe, but it has been
a little difficult because I am a bit of a workaholic.
But with Emilio being with him, with you, it's really
just helped me remember what's important and anyway, so I
tried to stay off my phone the entire time we
(05:21):
were there, just whatever was necessary. And then the fires
did happen, and it really affected me, like I felt
like I was abandoning my city, and he had to
remind me, like, Babe, there's not much that we can
do even if we were there. This is happening. But
I felt like, oh my gosh, my siblings are out
there and I'm in the Philippines, like across the globe,
(05:44):
and it was driving me a little bit nuts, and
I wanted to come back because I wanted to help,
and we had what like three more days in our trip,
and I just had to kind of silence everything. And
like Emilio said, it was a snowball effect because I
was also on these hormones you guys, and taking the
medicine that my IVF doctor you know, needed me to
(06:07):
take in order to get pregnant. And I was an
emotional wreck. And I don't know if you want to
take it from there.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Yeah, No, just to touch on that a little bit, like,
you know, we were in vacation mode, so our mind
was really you know, relaxed, and we were chilling, and
you know, it was a big enough event where it
was all over the news in the Philippines, Like, yes,
it was on the TVs everywhere we were walking. We
can see just just fires all over the TV. When
(06:35):
you're in another country and you see our home on
fire on the television, like it just it hits different
than like seeing it if you're here. Yeah, And so
it was just like, all right, let's go, let's get home.
And then also to touch on like the the phone
thing too. It's not that I'm like, oh, we can't
have phones or we can't be on our phone or
(06:56):
we can't check our phone. My biggest thing with is like,
like I love being present with each other. And that means,
you know, many different things like if we're if we're
on a walk, if we're walking down the street to
get to a restaurant or something, and like I point
something out and I say, hey, looked at this or
this or that, like and our engagement with like being
(07:19):
wherever we're being or wherever we're at, Like that is
like the biggest connection to me to like look at
this or look at that, experience this with me set
and like that's when I feel the best where I'm
with you and most connected.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Yeah, when our eyes are seeing the same things on
the road, Yes, And I get it because there are
a lot of times when Emidia is driving and I
am working, I'm on my phone and he's like, oh
my god, did you see this in the sky And
he's so present and I'm like, wait what and I
miss it. So I've learned to slow down and just
tell myself that can wait. Because I love to be
very responsible. I love to work. I love what I do,
(07:55):
you guys, So it's been very difficult to find that balance.
But I'm so grateful because Emilio has been that reminder
for me, and I'm grateful, you know, Yeah, I.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Really really am.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
And we have not really talked about IVF and how
it's made me feel. And this is a very touchy
subject for Emilia and I right now, because you know,
we want to have a baby. And the medication wasn't
making me feel like myself. I felt like I was
on mute. I could not think straight, I could not
get my thoughts straight at all. Everything was foggy, My
(08:29):
energy levels were very low. I was very sad, I
was angry. Him and I were having the worst arguments
we ever had. Guys, he already understands that I'm a
very very sensitive and with the medicine, I was ultra sensitive,
and I think we were just it was like water
and fire mixing and it would just sizzle and we
(08:51):
had these crazy arguments, right, babe.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
Yeah, are you trying to remember?
Speaker 2 (08:56):
No, I'm not. I'm just I'm trying to My brain
is just working, you know, and it just makes me
think of like what an argument is and what a
fight is, and like how different they are. We had
very intense arguments. M thankfully I think that we don't
fight a lot. I don't think we fight. I think
(09:16):
fighting is when you're just going at it with a
partner and the actual problem is not even you know,
discussed or engage with. Like then you're just like insulting
and yelling and I don't know, throwing stuff, Like we
don't do any of that. Like our arguments are like
especially I think with this one, because it was I
(09:37):
believe it's like one of the biggest subjects of life
that you can discuss, so like it's our two perspectives
coming together and trying to fit that together. Is like
it can can be explosives.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
I remember this specific night, and I don't even remember
what we were arguing about. To be completely honest, our arguments,
our discussions, whatever you want to call them, are very silly.
Once I sit and think about it, I'm like, why
did we even argue? It's just because I just wasn't
being my best self. I wasn't and I didn't feel
(10:16):
like my best self. You guys, I felt like someone
was taking over my body. And I don't know how
else to explain it, but I told him, I mean
I felt like I wanted to smile and be happy.
But and I would listen to a song because music
makes me happy, right, and I just couldn't. I'm like,
oh my gosh, I want my body stuck. Like I
felt like I was. My hands were tied. It's the
(10:38):
weirdest thing.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
I remember this specific argument that we had and he
was on the couch and I went upstairs and I
was just crying and this whole thing, and I wanted
him to come and hug me and you know, come
get me, you know, And he didn't. So I was like, oh,
I was so angry. I was laying there and I'm like,
oh my gosh, she's not He's really going to stay
down there. I think he had just had it because
(10:59):
it was a lot. And again, I was just a
hot mess, you guys. And I remember coming downstairs like
a little girl, never forget, and he was on the
couch and he was so mad, you could I could
see it in his face. I was like, oh, he's
so angry at me. And I just looked at him
and I started crying like a little girl. And I
was like, I'm sorry, I'm not being my best sell.
(11:20):
And I just started crying and he just held me.
He's like I could tell that he's just like okay,
and that's I think what you needed is just for
me to just, I guess, I don't know, be soft
and yes, let myself be loved.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Yeah, I think it changes everything because I think I
can remember that exact moment where I was still upset,
but the feeling of having to be there for you
was greater than me being upset. I needed something to
knock me off my course. That was that I was
on of just I'm upset, we're fighting, yeah, And that
(11:59):
does it for me. When your attitude switches ups it
helps me like let go.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Yeah, And I've learned that.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
I've learned that because I could argue, yeah, I have
been in my masculine energy for so long because I
had to in the music that I was singing in
the industry. It's like I had to have my fists up,
you know, kind of like on defense mode, like.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
You know, be ready for war if need be.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
And not that I wanted to be at war with anyone,
it was just it was always coming at me, you know,
and I had to be ready. So I feel like
for a long time I was in my masculine and
I had to be like my siblings, protector or whatnot.
And then God brought me Amidia, and I have been
able to step more into my feminine and realize that
(12:46):
even if he's also not being his best self, because
I think during that time, I think it was just
he didn't know what to do with me. But sometimes
I did feel like he wasn't as compassionate, like you,
weren't as compassionate as I would have liked.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
It was a lot, There's so many things.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
It was just such a hard time. It was the
last for three months, you guys.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
It was.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Horrible, Like I had. We had cute moments and and
nice moments. But January February March, oh my gosh, you guys,
very very difficult in my eyes.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Emotionally yes, emotionally yes.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Then here's the difficult, uh, the very sensitive topic, delicate topic.
Here was when I decided that I did not want
to transfer our embryo. Yeah, because we were two weeks
away from that, and I had already taken medicine since November,
so November December January February March five months and I thought, okay,
(13:52):
we transfer, We're done. The baby's in there were good
no and I was willing to like, I'm like, okay,
I got this.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
I'm a gangster, I'm a warrior. I got this. I'm
gonna get this done.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
But then where I was like, oh my gosh, I
have to inject myself I don't know how many times
a day for three months so that my body doesn't
reject the embryo. I it just threw me through a
loop and I said, wait a second, I can't it's
so hard. I was trying so hard to keep it together,
and as it progressed, the process progressed, I got worse.
(14:25):
I would sit at my desk, I'm not kidding you guys,
trying to get so much done. I had a list
of things to get done, and I couldn't get one done.
I remember sitting at my desk for eight hours and
I didn't get one thing done. I could not use
my brain. I don't even know how to explain it that.
I said, Oh my gosh, something scared me. I said, wait,
let me try to do this holistically. Let me try
to just cleanse my body. And that was very difficult.
(14:48):
I mean, tell me how you felt.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Yeah, sorry, I just I want to go back to
arguing real quick, because yeah, I wanted to say something
on that where Yeah, sure, I feel like arguing with couples,
like it affects couples differently, and if it affects the
individuals and a couple differently, Like when we're arguing, you
(15:13):
can continue to do things like you can like talk
to people, you can you can listen to music, you
can do the chores that you need to do. You can,
like you just you continue to move and just keep going. Me,
I shut down and I can't do anything. I can't
look at my phone, I can't like, I can't think
about anything else. I don't want to move, I don't
(15:33):
want to do anything. And it's weird that we never
talked about that here. Yeah, you're right, but it sounds
so familiar because we talk about it all the time
and and it's like it helps it helps us, you know,
solve our arguments better or understand each other better because
(15:55):
everyone reacts differently to an argument with your partner. I
think we've gotten a lot better at knowing how our
partner reacts to arguments and being able to come together
a lot a lot easier than we used to. For sure,
and it's like, Okay, what I do is like, even
(16:15):
in this super heightened moment where we're either frustrated or
mad at each other or whatever, it's like, I think
a good thing that we're able to do is like, Okay,
what does my partner need at this critical moment? And
what can I do even if I'm mad, what can
I do to try to make that happen or help
or assist my partner get what they need at the
(16:37):
same time giving myself and getting what I need too. Yeah,
because in our arguments that I mean, that's that just
that down Now I'm just putting myself back downstairs on
the couch and you're upstairs and us coming together, like
how do we make that happen more easily in the
future and continue to do that?
Speaker 1 (16:58):
You know, I think our ego to the side, at
least for me. Yeah, that's been the biggest thing for
me because I've again, I've had to defend myself for
the lack of a better term, like I just that's
how I had I felt like I had to, you know,
And now I understand that I have someone safe, someone
(17:18):
that makes me feel safe and gives me peace, and
I really want to be my best self and I
feel safe enough to do that. I want to be
in my soft growl era and embrace my femininity.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
In the beginning, especially in the first couple of years,
like you would do that. And in my head, I'm like,
we're having this big argument and you're just continuing your life,
and it felt like you weren't there with me, or
you didn't care, or it didn't affect you as much.
But that's just now that I see, or now that
I understand. It's it's how you cope with it, and it's.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
How my defense mechanism.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Yeah, how you deal with it, and it's just everyone
deals with it differently.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Yeah, yeah, for sure, And I'm so proud to say
that that is not the case. In this first year
of being married, I have definitely grown a lot, and
I think even Emilia has, and I'm happy to say that.
You know, right now, we do want a baby. We're
(18:19):
working on it, we're leaving it in God's hands, and
you know, we'll decide if IVF is for us.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
In the future or what we're going to do.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
But right now, I think we're enjoying our marriage and
I don't know, this is my person this is the
person that I want to be with. And sometimes this
has never happened to me in any other relationship where
we're arguing and I'm like, well, why am I going
to be mad? I mean, I want to be with
him anyway forever. So I just got to fix it.
(18:48):
And before I was like, no, I want to have
the last word, and it was just all these silly
things that comes from like ego. That now I'm like, well,
I love this guy, like I know I'm safe in
his arms, I know he wants the best for me,
and let's talk about it and we do that. Now
I'm really like happy that I don't. I don't feel bored.
(19:13):
I honestly I don't. I feel like I could be
with you every single day, every minute, and I don't
get bored and I still get to be myself. And
that's very important for me because I want to be
in a relationship where I am my authentic and you know,
embrace our individuality. And I think we've gotten there.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Yeah, I I'm thinking about I'm thinking about IVF right
now because it's just it's you know, it's just crazy
because I mean to be honest with everyone listening like
this is ongoing, like this is like right now in
the moment, and it's like me and Jane are do
for you know, these these conversations and they're just happening
(19:54):
right now, because I mean, I think it was maybe
a day two days ago.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
We will two days ago.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Two days ago, we had a we're talking about trying
to figure this out of like are we doing IVF?
How many months do we really have to try naturally
before that is our option? Or just I was more
in the position of I want to do IVF right now,
and I just I want to have this baby without
trying to put pressure on Janney and without trying to
and I try to explain that to her two days ago. Actually,
(20:23):
you're correct two days ago, because yesterday I had a
phone call from a good friend.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
She's been on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Oh yeah, Liz Hernandez. And Liz is my big sister.
She's been there for me for a lot of things,
and we haven't talked in a while, and she called
me yesterday and I kind of just updated her a
little bit.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
And you are so handsome, by the way, Thank you
do though, You're so cute. Are you getting emotional?
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Yeah? She uh, she just reminded me of like this
is like our first year together, Like, enjoy this moment.
She's like, don't don't get stuck on. Oh, I'll be
happy when we're engaged. I'll be happy when we get married.
I'll be happy when we have a kid. She's like,
just just remember to be happy now, and like there
are things I know, but it's just I needed to
(21:12):
hear it. I didn't know that I needed to hear that.
It made me And that's when I texted you and
I was like, I feel better about things. And I'm like,
I don't want to rush it. I don't think we
need to rush it. In my head myself, my brain
tells me we need it now, now, now, because it'll
make us happy. And it's like, I'm already happy with
(21:33):
you and I'm really truly happy with you right now,
and it's our first year. Let's enjoy this first year
of marriage. There's no rush. We can get pregnant after
the first year, Like, there's no there's no real timeline. Yeah,
And like it really shifted a lot for me yesterday
after talking to her.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Thank God for Liz. Yeah, it was hard, it was tough.
It was a conversation that I was avoiding because I
know how much he wants his baby and I want
I want a baby as well. I just I know
because I know that if God got me pregnant naturally
last year, it can happen again. And I know that
(22:15):
God's going to make it happen. And IVF is a
beautiful thing, and if that's the route we decide to take,
then so be it. But it was tough. It is
very difficult, you guys. You know, I'm very honest with you,
and I think IVF is a beautiful thing that it's
a great option for people that can't conceive and have
(22:37):
the problems I have, the reproductive problems, the endometriosis and
all these the poly ups, just so many things. But
through it all, you guys, God made it happen, and
I just want it to happen naturally. And I'm glad
that Liz was able to talk to you about that
because I don't want pressure and I don't want to
force it and I just want to enjoy us. I
still kind of want to be selfish with you and
(22:59):
I and you know, baby is a huge responsibility and
I'm ready for it, more ready than I ever have
You're the only person in the world that ever made
me want to have a child, and I feel safe
with with doing so. But I'm also enjoying us, you know,
and celebrating our first year anniversary. You guys were going
(23:20):
to go to Egypt and to Paris and we're going
to just just him and I and I had never
imagined before in relationships that I was in, and I
think I told you guys this before when Amydia has
been on the podcast. But in my previous relationships, like
I could, I couldn't be with them for too long,
I'd get bored or it just I have so much
fun with with with you, GiB So I'm excited for that,
(23:43):
and I know that it's going to happen when it's
meant to happen, like we were, It's going to happen.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Yeah, you know, yeah, No, I feel a lot better
about it. And it's just crazy because, like guys, like
I've been meaning to tell you this and update you
since Hua and I I didn't have a chance. So
these are my real feelings, and the fears that make
me have these thoughts are just like, oh, we're just
(24:12):
going to get back into busy, busy and life is
gonna take away this opportunity for us to have that,
and I I need to not let that be the
thing that's like driving my thoughts because life's not going
to stop, and this baby's going to come when it comes.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
And do you see my efforts and all the changes
that I've made to make this happen.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Absolutely I want you.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
To like see that and the changes that I'm making
in every single way. Like you know how I am.
When I decide something, I go all in and I'm in, yeah,
you know, and I'm on this new it's not even new,
you guys. It's not like, oh I found Jane, Like, no,
I'm coming back to myself.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
I'm coming back to Jane. I'm coming home to my soul.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
And I just wanted to remind you about that because
I was very scared to disappoint you and upset you,
and you know, you get into your head as a
woman it's like, oh my gosh, I'm not going to
be able to do this, and you feel broken and
you feel all these things and I had to shake
it off and say, wait no, like I know my body,
my body is healing itself, my body is intelligent, and
(25:25):
I'm going to do my part and do what I
can to make it happen. And I have you know,
I did the indigenous medicine. I am willing to do
anything holistic to make it happen because I know that
it's possible. But I'm glad because I was feeling a
little bit of pressure and it was kind of taking
the fun out of it for me, if I could
(25:47):
be honest.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Yeah, yeah, And it's kind of tricky, especially for me
because and this is why two days ago I brought
it up and I was like, we need to talk
about this because I really don't bring it up like
I I feel like I don't verbally put pressure. And
if I do in any way I put you know,
(26:09):
I apologize, but I try not to bring it up
because I'm also just trying to like let it happen
in a way as well. But two days ago, I'm like, hey,
I just I know this is a tough conversation, but
I like, I just need to tell you again and
you show you that your ears can literally just hear it,
that there is no pressure. I'm here with you. I
(26:32):
just I had to tell you just to remind you.
Even if it's something that you already knew, and even
if it's if I had told you a month before
or two months before, like I just it's something that
I just need to remind I felt like I needed
to remind you love.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Yeah, and you did a great job and you held
me and I cried and you did make me feel
better and you made me feel safe and I feel
better about it. So I am grateful because it definitely
it just just made things feel better better. And guys,
this is this is a real conversation that's being had
here on the podcast. So thank you for your patients
(27:07):
and listening in. We're having a therapy session right now.
But that's what it is, you know. I mean if
you had to rate our first year of marriage from
a skill from one to ten, what would you heah?
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Ten for real?
Speaker 3 (27:19):
Okay, No, I'm serious.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
You can tell I'm serious. Like it was, it was
exactly what it needed to be, exactly like what it
could have been. Like it was. It was great ups
and downs, like I wouldn't change absolutely anything about it.
Like I look at you right now, I'm like, I
am so happy with you, and I tell you every
day I want to marry you again. I want to
marry you again.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
I hope you feel that like that forever, yeah, and
talking about that, Okay, well we'll wait. Well, thank you,
because I agree with you. I think that we've done
a very good job. I think because we're both ready
and we're both willing to do the work. That's the
biggest thing. That if I didn't have a husband and
a partner, a companion that wasn't willing to do the
work and was work working on himself in every single way,
(28:02):
it wouldn't allow me to also do my work, but
it would just make things more difficult. I think the
fact that we're on the same wavelength with that is
great because you're doing your thing. You're not like it's
not like I feel like I have to heal you.
It's you're doing your work and I'm doing mine, and
together we're stronger, and that's what a relationship is. Finally,
(28:23):
I freaking get it, Like I'm like okay, Like you know,
they always say, oh, I need to find me media
na angkha, like no, like, I'm already. I want to
be whole. You give me like, oh, in order for
me to be complete, I need to find my other half.
But in reality, you need to come into relationship being
whole yourself and that other person needs to be whole
and like loving themselves and then coming together and it
(28:44):
makes everything better.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
Does that make sense, Sally? I get it.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
So what do you rate me as a wife? Have
I been a good wife? Say the truth?
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Yeah, I think you're awesome. I think you're honestly, I
think I'm so happy with the way everything is, even
the hard things, Like I wouldn't trade it for anything
at all.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Okay, cool and just a little you know, side funny story,
guys talking about this first year. We just recently put
up our wedding photos literally like a few days ago
in our home, and it just made our home feel
and look so beautiful and complete, and it just feels
(29:29):
like it's ours.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
Do you get that feeling when I walk in?
Speaker 1 (29:32):
It's just a beautiful reminder of Okay, I'm leaving all
the junk outside and I'm walking into my space with
my husband. That's every time I see the pictures, it
takes me back, like I'm like, Wow, I didn't realize
how important it is to see those pictures on a
daily basis.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
Yes, it made me feel more connected.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
It's the first thing you see when you walk into
our house. Now, yeah, there's so but every time I
pass it it, like I just I'll look at one
or I'll just get this feeling every time I see it,
and I'll just yell to you, my love, I want
to marry you again. It was really cool too, because
putting these photos up, like I looked through the gallery
again and like saw photos that, like, you know, after
(30:12):
we got married, Like you pick your favorite photos and
then you post them and then those are the photos
that live and the ones that you see. But then
when you go into the gallery, there was other photos
just that you didn't look at as much or that
you didn't see, and they just kind of like they
bring you back to that moment. And I just felt
it felt really good seeing all the different moments throughout
that day and how I felt in the room, how
(30:34):
I felt when I was waiting for you, how I
felt when we were finally done, like how I felt
when we saw each other, Like, like it was just
really cool.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
I don't remember who told me, I can't remember right now,
but anyway, they said that the next time we have
an argument or we're having a rough patch, to go
back to our wedding video or read our vowels and
it just sets the tone again. And we haven't done that,
and I think we should do that in Paris or
won't work right who? I don't know if they told
you the same thing or who if they told this together,
(31:05):
but someone told me this, and we should because our
vowels were freaking superb guys.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
Yeah, yours are crazy.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
Yeah. I wrote my ass off.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
Yours shook diarth a little bit.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
Dude.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Honestly, guys, when I sit down and write and I'm
super inspired, I'm as you guys heard here on the podcast.
I've been writing a lot more and reading to you
guys what I write. My notes and my vowels were
off the chain. So I gotta I gotta do that.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Yeah, and what it's one of the photos that I
selected to put up on the wall, was you sitting
in your wedding dress, were writing your vowels to me?
Speaker 3 (31:41):
Yeah, and writing My hand was hurt in like a mofod.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
I did the same, and we had planned to do
this days before. We ended up without knowing, we ended
up both writing our vowels right before, which I think
is great because it's when you're feeling the most feelings,
and we also weren't with each other, and we hadn't
we didn't sleep with each other, so.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
Like we didn't speak the whole day.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Yeah, it's weird. It was. It's really weird.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
We're so connected. Did we were doing it at the
same time.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
We did at the same time, which is fucking tight.
Sorry he was, And.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
Going back to that moment just real quick, I could not.
I was like, I just want to finish writing these
vows already because I want to tell him and I
just want to see him. I just want my friend back.
I was like, it's been like a whole freaking day.
It was crazy. It was so nice. We got to
do it again, dude. So let me ask you a question, baby,
if you want me to answer first, I will answer.
But what is the best part about being married? Do
(32:36):
you think to me your only wife?
Speaker 2 (32:38):
Yeah? Yeah, I mean the first thing that really just
comes to my head of like what I feel all
the time is just like I never feel alone in
my life in anything, Like I feel like I always
have someone, Like you know you have someone when you
go home, and anything that comes your way throughout your day,
like you get to bring it back and like share
(33:00):
it with your partner. Whether it's something really good, you're
the first person I call. If it's something really bad,
you're also the first person I call, you know, And
it just it feels so amazing to have someone that
for so many reasons of why you're an amazing wife,
but like that I trust dude, that I that we
love each other, that we connect so well, that we
(33:23):
have so much fun together. Okay, there's so many things obviously, right,
there's so many things that we understand about each other
why we love each other. But knowing that you have
that all the time, it's like what else would you want?
Like it is, It's the best thing ever, And so
having each other.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
Is just it's a great race.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
And seeing you know, I actually am seeing a lot
of you know, young people, my family friends, a lot
of young guys like starting to get engaged, and I
just catch myself like just trying to talk to them
and like kind of guide them a little bit, you know,
And it feels good. It feels good to do that
to like try to pass that along. Because I left
(34:07):
a comment on one of my little cousins and he
got engaged in I think he's super young to do it,
but I said, I just said, hey, dude, marriage is
the best thing you can ever do if you do
it right. Yeah, And so that's how I feel about
my marriage. It's the best thing I could I could
have done.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
Yeah. Same.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
I'm so happy that I gave marriage a second chance
because this is amazing. And this is my first time
being married for a year, you guys, so that's a
huge thing for me. Yeah, so thank you.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
I'm super excited to celebrate it.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
And yeah, I think the best part about being married is,
you know, kind of to piggyback on what you said
was just companionship, knowing that even when the world is
falling apart, because I have felt that in the last
year quite a bit in my personal life with my sibling,
(35:01):
my career, just so many different things. And just to
know that I have someone to lean on and lay
my head on is amazing. And not only that, it's
just it's the right person, the person that is going
to make me feel better, knows what to tell me
and gives me good advice because he wants the best
for me. That is the best part. That I could
(35:22):
still be myself because I don't ever want to feel
controlled or in any way like I'm being tamed. It
sounds weird, but it's like I want to tame myself.
I want to change because I want to, not because
someone's making me. And I've never felt that with you.
So I want to say thank you for that. And
it's just nice to have a friend that I also
(35:42):
get to make love to and laugh with and argue
with and then make up and just have fun. It's
it's that companionship, you know. So it's been the best
part about being married. And someone that likes to eat
the same foods that I like to eat. Yeah, because
that's important. Yo, we love to eat.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Is in a bad mood, just get her some food
because they will change in a heartbeat.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
Whatever, dude.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
Second, and she'll eat mad I see, I sure will.
When we're arguing and we have food, I just I
won't eat. I'll just leave it there. She will eat.
She don't care, And I'm like, yeah, I was like you,
you must have been really hungry.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
That is true, you guys whatever, Emilio, you know what. See,
that's how you guys know. I'm consistent and very authentic
and everything that I do because I am a foodie,
even when I'm mad, Okay, like I am consistent in
everything that I do, So thank you for pointing that out.
Speaker 3 (36:38):
Then.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
Yeah, it's one of my favorite things about you.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
And I'm happy to say that Immedial is the same
exact person, if not better, every single day, you know,
is the You're the person that I chosen, and I'm
glad that I did. And I love to say that
you haven't. You haven't changed. In my mind, while we
were going through IVF and I was in a very
dark place, I thought that you had changed.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
I kept telling you. I was like, you're different, You're
not treating me the same. It was crazy.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
Both were feeling things that.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
We Yeah, we were feeling ourself very foreign. Yeah it
was very heavy. It was heavy and dense. But nonetheless
you were there for me and I'm grateful and I
am completely one hundred percent in love with you, and
I just want to say thank.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
You, dude, thank you.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
I don't know if you.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
Would like to give any newlyweds out there some advice
real quick, you know, on the first year of marriage
and how to navigate through emotions.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
I think just to recap everything real quick. Yes, we
talked about a lot of the heavy stuff, but for
every like if there was like ten percent heavy stuff
like that, ninety percent of all the good is like
it's still happening, and it's still you know, it's it's
for us. It's it's our daily happiness, our the happiness
(37:59):
that we have when we go on and when we're
at home and when we're their family or just you know,
all that is like amazing and it makes everything else
like worth it, and it makes everything, It makes everything
makes sense. I think the biggest thing is just it's
just patience, because when you have patience, you're going to understand.
(38:20):
And then when you understand it's you're just going to
connect with your partner even more. Just really try to
understand your partner and what they need at all moments.
And if you do that and not really think about yourself,
your partner will take care of you the way you need. Yeah,
and I think we do a really good job at that.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
I agree, I agree. I love everything you said. And
if I can give you guys any advice, definitely keep
God in the center of your relationship. Pray together every night.
There are going to be arguments, Just remember that you
chose that person and if you chose that person and
(39:01):
it feels right and you feel peace in your heart,
and your partner is willing to give as much as
you're willing to give, then he's also worth you leaning in,
even if that means that you have to apologize or
fix things, even if you feel it's not my fault,
(39:23):
like put the ego to the side. Guys, it's not
worth it. It's time wasted, it's energy wasted. And that's
something that I have had to remind myself and just say,
you know what, like, I love this person, and you
got to pick and choose your battles, and this is
one that I don't care to win, and you just
push it to the side and you go and give
(39:45):
your partner a kiss and just say, Babe, I love
you and I'm sorry that I was not my best self.
And hopefully he embraces you the way Amigo has because
that's important because that gives you a safe place.
Speaker 3 (39:57):
Yeah, thank you, babe for.
Speaker 1 (40:00):
Being on the podcast. It was a beautiful conversation, So
thank you for being on. People love to hear from us,
and I'm excited to celebrate many one year anniversaries with you.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
Yeah, Okay, because.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
I wanted to feel like the first year all the time.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
If not better.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
I know, I know what you want.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
I can see up a Sando baby. Okay, basically that's
why I wrote you that song.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
I know.
Speaker 3 (40:26):
I love you.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
Thank you guys so much for listening to the pod.
If I could just ask you for something, just pray.
Pray for your girl, Pray for her marriage, pray for
her womb. Send me positive vibes. I love you, guys,
and I'm really grateful that you guys choose to listen
to Cheeky's and Chill Aroma Baby. This is a production
(40:51):
of iHeartRadio and the Micaela Podcast Network. Follow us on
Instagram at Michael Dourha Podcasts, then follow me Cheeky's That's
c A h I.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
Q U i s.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast
Hello, my beautiful people. Welcome to your favorite podcast, Cheek
Is in Chill, where you come to Chill to listen,
to grow, and to glow. I hope you all are
enjoying season four, because I definitely am. We've covered so
many different topics and I can't wait for you guys
to hear what else we have in store for you.
So let me get into today's episode because our guest
(00:25):
is a very special guest and he's very excited to
be here, and I'm excited that he's here and I'm
excited to have him. His name is Emilio marist Sanchez.
He happens to be my husband.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Say hello, babe, Hi, beautiful girl.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
So I'm putting him on the hot seat today because
we're going to talk about our first year of marriage
and how it's gone and how we're navigating challenges and situations.
And then we'll wrap up the episode with some advice
for any newlyweds out there, So be sure to listen
to the entire episode.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Are you ready, bibe?
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Yes? I am all right.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
So before we get into it, I wanted to give
you guys a little recap. We tied the knot on
July fifth, twenty twenty four. It was a very intimate
wedding in Las Vegas, and it was a very special night.
It's a very special day that I'll never forget. And
we did not prepare for this episode. I mean, that's
the way I like to do things, you guys. I
like to just speak from the heart. He doesn't know
(01:21):
exactly what we're going to talk about. We're just gonna
say the truth because everyone, not everyone, but a lot
of people have shared that the first year of marriage
is the hardest, and I don't know. I wouldn't say
that it was. I mean, it wasn't easy peasy, I'll
tell you that much. So let's go back to last
(01:43):
year when we got married. Okay, I think because we
were in the middle of touring and we had a
very busy year, we spent a lot of time together
that we were very fortunate that even though we were
both working, because you had you were on tour with
Becky and then I was on lakadem I was doing
so much, but we were able to spend a lot
of time together.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Yeah, and so I feel.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Like we were just in the nitty gritty and working
and grinding that it felt. Yes, we're married and it
was good and I don't feel like it was in
any way bad. But then things slowed down and I
feel like stuff got real in January of this year.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Yeah, why, well, I just want to kind of explain
on like how crazy it was last year, because because
it's like, yeah, we did get married, and then it
was just so many things. And while all these things
are happening, you also dropped Gesiga Passando, which was like
our marriage anthem for the year. And looking back at
(02:48):
it now, it was like it was very present, like
we felt we felt a love from everybody. It was
just a love year. You know.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
It was beautiful for sure, it was.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
A lot it was. It felt really good, It was
really fun, and it felt big, you know in our lives,
well for me.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
At least same.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
And and then yeah, in January, then it calmed down.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
It did calm down, I think because you know, the
dust started settling in other words, and you know, things
started slowing down, and then I started IVF.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Yeah, January was just so much just remind me, I mean,
just a lot of even I mean the last few
days of our vacation that's when the Los Angeles fire started,
and I think it had such an impact on us,
especially because you know, we live here in Los Angeles
(03:43):
and it affected a lot of people and a lot
of people we care about and just our city, you know,
and I wrecked me.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
Guys.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
It started like a kind of a snowball effect from there.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
For sure, I agree with you, and that's why I'm
so glad that I can talk to you about this,
because I tend to forget things, you guys, and apparently
it's due to traumatic experiences in my childhood that that's
like a coping mechanism. This is something I just recently learned,
because I'm like, why is it that I can't remember
(04:19):
certain things. I have to write things down and then
I just unless I see a picture then it sparks
the memory. So anyway, I'm glad you did bring that
up because it took me back to last year November,
and I remember us being in Miami and it was
beautiful because I won my third Latin Grammy. You were
with me, we took awesome pictures and I think that
was the beginning of me taking medication for IVF. So
(04:39):
I was feeling it, but not as heavily. And then
in December was when we went to the Philippines and
we had our vacation and it was amazing. And then
at the tail end of it, I was doing my
best to just not be on my phone because that's
one of the biggest things with Amlie and I that
he likes me to be present and not work as much,
(05:00):
which I appreciate. It's a little difficult. I think that's
been one of the hardest things in our relationship. And
correct me if I'm wrong, babe, but it has been
a little difficult because I am a bit of a workaholic.
But with Emilio being with him, with you, it's really
just helped me remember what's important and anyway, so I
tried to stay off my phone the entire time we
(05:21):
were there, just whatever was necessary. And then the fires
did happen, and it really affected me, like I felt
like I was abandoning my city, and he had to
remind me, like, Babe, there's not much that we can
do even if we were there. This is happening. But
I felt like, oh my gosh, my siblings are out
there and I'm in the Philippines, like across the globe,
(05:44):
and it was driving me a little bit nuts, and
I wanted to come back because I wanted to help,
and we had what like three more days in our trip,
and I just had to kind of silence everything. And
like Emilio said, it was a snowball effect because I
was also on these hormones you guys, and taking the
medicine that my IVF doctor you know, needed me to
(06:07):
take in order to get pregnant. And I was an
emotional wreck. And I don't know if you want to
take it from there.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Yeah, No, just to touch on that a little bit, like,
you know, we were in vacation mode, so our mind
was really you know, relaxed, and we were chilling, and
you know, it was a big enough event where it
was all over the news in the Philippines, Like, yes,
it was on the TVs everywhere we were walking. We
can see just just fires all over the TV. When
(06:35):
you're in another country and you see our home on
fire on the television, like it just it hits different
than like seeing it if you're here. Yeah, And so
it was just like, all right, let's go, let's get home.
And then also to touch on like the the phone
thing too. It's not that I'm like, oh, we can't
have phones or we can't be on our phone or
(06:56):
we can't check our phone. My biggest thing with is like,
like I love being present with each other. And that means,
you know, many different things like if we're if we're
on a walk, if we're walking down the street to
get to a restaurant or something, and like I point
something out and I say, hey, looked at this or
this or that, like and our engagement with like being
(07:19):
wherever we're being or wherever we're at, Like that is
like the biggest connection to me to like look at
this or look at that, experience this with me set
and like that's when I feel the best where I'm
with you and most connected.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Yeah, when our eyes are seeing the same things on
the road, Yes, And I get it because there are
a lot of times when Emidia is driving and I
am working, I'm on my phone and he's like, oh
my god, did you see this in the sky And
he's so present and I'm like, wait what and I
miss it. So I've learned to slow down and just
tell myself that can wait. Because I love to be
very responsible. I love to work. I love what I do,
(07:55):
you guys, So it's been very difficult to find that balance.
But I'm so grateful because Emilio has been that reminder
for me, and I'm grateful, you know, Yeah, I.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Really really am.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
And we have not really talked about IVF and how
it's made me feel. And this is a very touchy
subject for Emilia and I right now, because you know,
we want to have a baby. And the medication wasn't
making me feel like myself. I felt like I was
on mute. I could not think straight, I could not
get my thoughts straight at all. Everything was foggy, My
(08:29):
energy levels were very low. I was very sad, I
was angry. Him and I were having the worst arguments
we ever had. Guys, he already understands that I'm a
very very sensitive and with the medicine, I was ultra sensitive,
and I think we were just it was like water
and fire mixing and it would just sizzle and we
(08:51):
had these crazy arguments, right, babe.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
Yeah, are you trying to remember?
Speaker 2 (08:56):
No, I'm not. I'm just I'm trying to My brain
is just working, you know, and it just makes me
think of like what an argument is and what a
fight is, and like how different they are. We had
very intense arguments. M thankfully I think that we don't
fight a lot. I don't think we fight. I think
(09:16):
fighting is when you're just going at it with a
partner and the actual problem is not even you know,
discussed or engage with. Like then you're just like insulting
and yelling and I don't know, throwing stuff, Like we
don't do any of that. Like our arguments are like
especially I think with this one, because it was I
(09:37):
believe it's like one of the biggest subjects of life
that you can discuss, so like it's our two perspectives
coming together and trying to fit that together. Is like
it can can be explosives.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
I remember this specific night, and I don't even remember
what we were arguing about. To be completely honest, our arguments,
our discussions, whatever you want to call them, are very silly.
Once I sit and think about it, I'm like, why
did we even argue? It's just because I just wasn't
being my best self. I wasn't and I didn't feel
(10:16):
like my best self. You guys, I felt like someone
was taking over my body. And I don't know how
else to explain it, but I told him, I mean
I felt like I wanted to smile and be happy.
But and I would listen to a song because music
makes me happy, right, and I just couldn't. I'm like,
oh my gosh, I want my body stuck. Like I
felt like I was. My hands were tied. It's the
(10:38):
weirdest thing.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
I remember this specific argument that we had and he
was on the couch and I went upstairs and I
was just crying and this whole thing, and I wanted
him to come and hug me and you know, come
get me, you know, And he didn't. So I was like, oh,
I was so angry. I was laying there and I'm like,
oh my gosh, she's not He's really going to stay
down there. I think he had just had it because
(10:59):
it was a lot. And again, I was just a
hot mess, you guys. And I remember coming downstairs like
a little girl, never forget, and he was on the
couch and he was so mad, you could I could
see it in his face. I was like, oh, he's
so angry at me. And I just looked at him
and I started crying like a little girl. And I
was like, I'm sorry, I'm not being my best sell.
(11:20):
And I just started crying and he just held me.
He's like I could tell that he's just like okay,
and that's I think what you needed is just for
me to just, I guess, I don't know, be soft
and yes, let myself be loved.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Yeah, I think it changes everything because I think I
can remember that exact moment where I was still upset,
but the feeling of having to be there for you
was greater than me being upset. I needed something to
knock me off my course. That was that I was
on of just I'm upset, we're fighting, yeah, And that
(11:59):
does it for me. When your attitude switches ups it
helps me like let go.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Yeah, And I've learned that.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
I've learned that because I could argue, yeah, I have
been in my masculine energy for so long because I
had to in the music that I was singing in
the industry. It's like I had to have my fists up,
you know, kind of like on defense mode, like.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
You know, be ready for war if need be.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
And not that I wanted to be at war with anyone,
it was just it was always coming at me, you know,
and I had to be ready. So I feel like
for a long time I was in my masculine and
I had to be like my siblings, protector or whatnot.
And then God brought me Amidia, and I have been
able to step more into my feminine and realize that
(12:46):
even if he's also not being his best self, because
I think during that time, I think it was just
he didn't know what to do with me. But sometimes
I did feel like he wasn't as compassionate, like you,
weren't as compassionate as I would have liked.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
It was a lot, There's so many things.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
It was just such a hard time. It was the
last for three months, you guys.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
It was.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Horrible, Like I had. We had cute moments and and
nice moments. But January February March, oh my gosh, you guys,
very very difficult in my eyes.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Emotionally yes, emotionally yes.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Then here's the difficult, uh, the very sensitive topic, delicate topic.
Here was when I decided that I did not want
to transfer our embryo. Yeah, because we were two weeks
away from that, and I had already taken medicine since November,
so November December January February March five months and I thought, okay,
(13:52):
we transfer, We're done. The baby's in there were good
no and I was willing to like, I'm like, okay,
I got this.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
I'm a gangster, I'm a warrior. I got this. I'm
gonna get this done.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
But then where I was like, oh my gosh, I
have to inject myself I don't know how many times
a day for three months so that my body doesn't
reject the embryo. I it just threw me through a
loop and I said, wait a second, I can't it's
so hard. I was trying so hard to keep it together,
and as it progressed, the process progressed, I got worse.
(14:25):
I would sit at my desk, I'm not kidding you guys,
trying to get so much done. I had a list
of things to get done, and I couldn't get one done.
I remember sitting at my desk for eight hours and
I didn't get one thing done. I could not use
my brain. I don't even know how to explain it that.
I said, Oh my gosh, something scared me. I said, wait,
let me try to do this holistically. Let me try
to just cleanse my body. And that was very difficult.
(14:48):
I mean, tell me how you felt.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Yeah, sorry, I just I want to go back to
arguing real quick, because yeah, I wanted to say something
on that where Yeah, sure, I feel like arguing with couples,
like it affects couples differently, and if it affects the
individuals and a couple differently, Like when we're arguing, you
(15:13):
can continue to do things like you can like talk
to people, you can you can listen to music, you
can do the chores that you need to do. You can,
like you just you continue to move and just keep going. Me,
I shut down and I can't do anything. I can't
look at my phone, I can't like, I can't think
about anything else. I don't want to move, I don't
(15:33):
want to do anything. And it's weird that we never
talked about that here. Yeah, you're right, but it sounds
so familiar because we talk about it all the time
and and it's like it helps it helps us, you know,
solve our arguments better or understand each other better because
(15:55):
everyone reacts differently to an argument with your partner. I
think we've gotten a lot better at knowing how our
partner reacts to arguments and being able to come together
a lot a lot easier than we used to. For sure,
and it's like, Okay, what I do is like, even
(16:15):
in this super heightened moment where we're either frustrated or
mad at each other or whatever, it's like, I think
a good thing that we're able to do is like, Okay,
what does my partner need at this critical moment? And
what can I do even if I'm mad, what can
I do to try to make that happen or help
or assist my partner get what they need at the
(16:37):
same time giving myself and getting what I need too. Yeah,
because in our arguments that I mean, that's that just
that down Now I'm just putting myself back downstairs on
the couch and you're upstairs and us coming together, like
how do we make that happen more easily in the
future and continue to do that?
Speaker 1 (16:58):
You know, I think our ego to the side, at
least for me. Yeah, that's been the biggest thing for
me because I've again, I've had to defend myself for
the lack of a better term, like I just that's
how I had I felt like I had to, you know,
And now I understand that I have someone safe, someone
(17:18):
that makes me feel safe and gives me peace, and
I really want to be my best self and I
feel safe enough to do that. I want to be
in my soft growl era and embrace my femininity.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
In the beginning, especially in the first couple of years,
like you would do that. And in my head, I'm like,
we're having this big argument and you're just continuing your life,
and it felt like you weren't there with me, or
you didn't care, or it didn't affect you as much.
But that's just now that I see, or now that
I understand. It's it's how you cope with it, and it's.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
How my defense mechanism.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Yeah, how you deal with it, and it's just everyone
deals with it differently.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Yeah, yeah, for sure, And I'm so proud to say
that that is not the case. In this first year
of being married, I have definitely grown a lot, and
I think even Emilia has, and I'm happy to say that.
You know, right now, we do want a baby. We're
(18:19):
working on it, we're leaving it in God's hands, and
you know, we'll decide if IVF is for us.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
In the future or what we're going to do.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
But right now, I think we're enjoying our marriage and
I don't know, this is my person this is the
person that I want to be with. And sometimes this
has never happened to me in any other relationship where
we're arguing and I'm like, well, why am I going
to be mad? I mean, I want to be with
him anyway forever. So I just got to fix it.
(18:48):
And before I was like, no, I want to have
the last word, and it was just all these silly
things that comes from like ego. That now I'm like, well,
I love this guy, like I know I'm safe in
his arms, I know he wants the best for me,
and let's talk about it and we do that. Now
I'm really like happy that I don't. I don't feel bored.
(19:13):
I honestly I don't. I feel like I could be
with you every single day, every minute, and I don't
get bored and I still get to be myself. And
that's very important for me because I want to be
in a relationship where I am my authentic and you know,
embrace our individuality. And I think we've gotten there.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Yeah, I I'm thinking about I'm thinking about IVF right
now because it's just it's you know, it's just crazy
because I mean to be honest with everyone listening like
this is ongoing, like this is like right now in
the moment, and it's like me and Jane are do
for you know, these these conversations and they're just happening
(19:54):
right now, because I mean, I think it was maybe
a day two days ago.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
We will two days ago.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Two days ago, we had a we're talking about trying
to figure this out of like are we doing IVF?
How many months do we really have to try naturally
before that is our option? Or just I was more
in the position of I want to do IVF right now,
and I just I want to have this baby without
trying to put pressure on Janney and without trying to
and I try to explain that to her two days ago. Actually,
(20:23):
you're correct two days ago, because yesterday I had a
phone call from a good friend.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
She's been on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Oh yeah, Liz Hernandez. And Liz is my big sister.
She's been there for me for a lot of things,
and we haven't talked in a while, and she called
me yesterday and I kind of just updated her a
little bit.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
And you are so handsome, by the way, Thank you
do though, You're so cute. Are you getting emotional?
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Yeah? She uh, she just reminded me of like this
is like our first year together, Like, enjoy this moment.
She's like, don't don't get stuck on. Oh, I'll be
happy when we're engaged. I'll be happy when we get married.
I'll be happy when we have a kid. She's like,
just just remember to be happy now, and like there
are things I know, but it's just I needed to
(21:12):
hear it. I didn't know that I needed to hear that.
It made me And that's when I texted you and
I was like, I feel better about things. And I'm like,
I don't want to rush it. I don't think we
need to rush it. In my head myself, my brain
tells me we need it now, now, now, because it'll
make us happy. And it's like, I'm already happy with
(21:33):
you and I'm really truly happy with you right now,
and it's our first year. Let's enjoy this first year
of marriage. There's no rush. We can get pregnant after
the first year, Like, there's no there's no real timeline. Yeah,
And like it really shifted a lot for me yesterday
after talking to her.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Thank God for Liz. Yeah, it was hard, it was tough.
It was a conversation that I was avoiding because I
know how much he wants his baby and I want
I want a baby as well. I just I know
because I know that if God got me pregnant naturally
last year, it can happen again. And I know that
(22:15):
God's going to make it happen. And IVF is a
beautiful thing, and if that's the route we decide to take,
then so be it. But it was tough. It is
very difficult, you guys. You know, I'm very honest with you,
and I think IVF is a beautiful thing that it's
a great option for people that can't conceive and have
(22:37):
the problems I have, the reproductive problems, the endometriosis and
all these the poly ups, just so many things. But
through it all, you guys, God made it happen, and
I just want it to happen naturally. And I'm glad
that Liz was able to talk to you about that
because I don't want pressure and I don't want to
force it and I just want to enjoy us. I
still kind of want to be selfish with you and
(22:59):
I and you know, baby is a huge responsibility and
I'm ready for it, more ready than I ever have
You're the only person in the world that ever made
me want to have a child, and I feel safe
with with doing so. But I'm also enjoying us, you know,
and celebrating our first year anniversary. You guys were going
(23:20):
to go to Egypt and to Paris and we're going
to just just him and I and I had never
imagined before in relationships that I was in, and I
think I told you guys this before when Amydia has
been on the podcast. But in my previous relationships, like
I could, I couldn't be with them for too long,
I'd get bored or it just I have so much
fun with with with you, GiB So I'm excited for that,
(23:43):
and I know that it's going to happen when it's
meant to happen, like we were, It's going to happen.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Yeah, you know, yeah, No, I feel a lot better
about it. And it's just crazy because, like guys, like
I've been meaning to tell you this and update you
since Hua and I I didn't have a chance. So
these are my real feelings, and the fears that make
me have these thoughts are just like, oh, we're just
(24:12):
going to get back into busy, busy and life is
gonna take away this opportunity for us to have that,
and I I need to not let that be the
thing that's like driving my thoughts because life's not going
to stop, and this baby's going to come when it comes.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
And do you see my efforts and all the changes
that I've made to make this happen.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Absolutely I want you.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
To like see that and the changes that I'm making
in every single way. Like you know how I am.
When I decide something, I go all in and I'm in, yeah,
you know, and I'm on this new it's not even new,
you guys. It's not like, oh I found Jane, Like, no,
I'm coming back to myself.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
I'm coming back to Jane. I'm coming home to my soul.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
And I just wanted to remind you about that because
I was very scared to disappoint you and upset you,
and you know, you get into your head as a
woman it's like, oh my gosh, I'm not going to
be able to do this, and you feel broken and
you feel all these things and I had to shake
it off and say, wait no, like I know my body,
my body is healing itself, my body is intelligent, and
(25:25):
I'm going to do my part and do what I
can to make it happen. And I have you know,
I did the indigenous medicine. I am willing to do
anything holistic to make it happen because I know that
it's possible. But I'm glad because I was feeling a
little bit of pressure and it was kind of taking
the fun out of it for me, if I could
(25:47):
be honest.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Yeah, yeah, And it's kind of tricky, especially for me
because and this is why two days ago I brought
it up and I was like, we need to talk
about this because I really don't bring it up like
I I feel like I don't verbally put pressure. And
if I do in any way I put you know,
(26:09):
I apologize, but I try not to bring it up
because I'm also just trying to like let it happen
in a way as well. But two days ago, I'm like, hey,
I just I know this is a tough conversation, but
I like, I just need to tell you again and
you show you that your ears can literally just hear it,
that there is no pressure. I'm here with you. I
(26:32):
just I had to tell you just to remind you.
Even if it's something that you already knew, and even
if it's if I had told you a month before
or two months before, like I just it's something that
I just need to remind I felt like I needed
to remind you love.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Yeah, and you did a great job and you held
me and I cried and you did make me feel
better and you made me feel safe and I feel
better about it. So I am grateful because it definitely
it just just made things feel better better. And guys,
this is this is a real conversation that's being had
here on the podcast. So thank you for your patients
(27:07):
and listening in. We're having a therapy session right now.
But that's what it is, you know. I mean if
you had to rate our first year of marriage from
a skill from one to ten, what would you heah?
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Ten for real?
Speaker 3 (27:19):
Okay, No, I'm serious.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
You can tell I'm serious. Like it was, it was
exactly what it needed to be, exactly like what it
could have been. Like it was. It was great ups
and downs, like I wouldn't change absolutely anything about it.
Like I look at you right now, I'm like, I
am so happy with you, and I tell you every
day I want to marry you again. I want to
marry you again.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
I hope you feel that like that forever, yeah, and
talking about that, Okay, well we'll wait. Well, thank you,
because I agree with you. I think that we've done
a very good job. I think because we're both ready
and we're both willing to do the work. That's the
biggest thing. That if I didn't have a husband and
a partner, a companion that wasn't willing to do the
work and was work working on himself in every single way,
(28:02):
it wouldn't allow me to also do my work, but
it would just make things more difficult. I think the
fact that we're on the same wavelength with that is
great because you're doing your thing. You're not like it's
not like I feel like I have to heal you.
It's you're doing your work and I'm doing mine, and
together we're stronger, and that's what a relationship is. Finally,
(28:23):
I freaking get it, Like I'm like okay, Like you know,
they always say, oh, I need to find me media
na angkha, like no, like, I'm already. I want to
be whole. You give me like, oh, in order for
me to be complete, I need to find my other half.
But in reality, you need to come into relationship being
whole yourself and that other person needs to be whole
and like loving themselves and then coming together and it
(28:44):
makes everything better.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
Does that make sense, Sally? I get it.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
So what do you rate me as a wife? Have
I been a good wife? Say the truth?
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Yeah, I think you're awesome. I think you're honestly, I
think I'm so happy with the way everything is, even
the hard things, Like I wouldn't trade it for anything
at all.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Okay, cool and just a little you know, side funny story,
guys talking about this first year. We just recently put
up our wedding photos literally like a few days ago
in our home, and it just made our home feel
and look so beautiful and complete, and it just feels
(29:29):
like it's ours.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
Do you get that feeling when I walk in?
Speaker 1 (29:32):
It's just a beautiful reminder of Okay, I'm leaving all
the junk outside and I'm walking into my space with
my husband. That's every time I see the pictures, it
takes me back, like I'm like, Wow, I didn't realize
how important it is to see those pictures on a
daily basis.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
Yes, it made me feel more connected.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
It's the first thing you see when you walk into
our house. Now, yeah, there's so but every time I
pass it it, like I just I'll look at one
or I'll just get this feeling every time I see it,
and I'll just yell to you, my love, I want
to marry you again. It was really cool too, because
putting these photos up, like I looked through the gallery
again and like saw photos that, like, you know, after
(30:12):
we got married, Like you pick your favorite photos and
then you post them and then those are the photos
that live and the ones that you see. But then
when you go into the gallery, there was other photos
just that you didn't look at as much or that
you didn't see, and they just kind of like they
bring you back to that moment. And I just felt
it felt really good seeing all the different moments throughout
that day and how I felt in the room, how
(30:34):
I felt when I was waiting for you, how I
felt when we were finally done, like how I felt
when we saw each other, Like, like it was just
really cool.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
I don't remember who told me, I can't remember right now,
but anyway, they said that the next time we have
an argument or we're having a rough patch, to go
back to our wedding video or read our vowels and
it just sets the tone again. And we haven't done that,
and I think we should do that in Paris or
won't work right who? I don't know if they told
you the same thing or who if they told this together,
(31:05):
but someone told me this, and we should because our
vowels were freaking superb guys.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
Yeah, yours are crazy.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
Yeah. I wrote my ass off.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
Yours shook diarth a little bit.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
Dude.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Honestly, guys, when I sit down and write and I'm
super inspired, I'm as you guys heard here on the podcast.
I've been writing a lot more and reading to you
guys what I write. My notes and my vowels were
off the chain. So I gotta I gotta do that.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Yeah, and what it's one of the photos that I
selected to put up on the wall, was you sitting
in your wedding dress, were writing your vowels to me?
Speaker 3 (31:41):
Yeah, and writing My hand was hurt in like a mofod.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
I did the same, and we had planned to do
this days before. We ended up without knowing, we ended
up both writing our vowels right before, which I think
is great because it's when you're feeling the most feelings,
and we also weren't with each other, and we hadn't
we didn't sleep with each other, so.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
Like we didn't speak the whole day.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Yeah, it's weird. It was. It's really weird.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
We're so connected. Did we were doing it at the
same time.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
We did at the same time, which is fucking tight.
Sorry he was, And.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
Going back to that moment just real quick, I could not.
I was like, I just want to finish writing these
vows already because I want to tell him and I
just want to see him. I just want my friend back.
I was like, it's been like a whole freaking day.
It was crazy. It was so nice. We got to
do it again, dude. So let me ask you a question, baby,
if you want me to answer first, I will answer.
But what is the best part about being married? Do
(32:36):
you think to me your only wife?
Speaker 2 (32:38):
Yeah? Yeah, I mean the first thing that really just
comes to my head of like what I feel all
the time is just like I never feel alone in
my life in anything, Like I feel like I always
have someone, Like you know you have someone when you
go home, and anything that comes your way throughout your day,
like you get to bring it back and like share
(33:00):
it with your partner. Whether it's something really good, you're
the first person I call. If it's something really bad,
you're also the first person I call, you know, And
it just it feels so amazing to have someone that
for so many reasons of why you're an amazing wife,
but like that I trust dude, that I that we
love each other, that we connect so well, that we
(33:23):
have so much fun together. Okay, there's so many things obviously, right,
there's so many things that we understand about each other
why we love each other. But knowing that you have
that all the time, it's like what else would you want?
Like it is, It's the best thing ever, And so
having each other.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
Is just it's a great race.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
And seeing you know, I actually am seeing a lot
of you know, young people, my family friends, a lot
of young guys like starting to get engaged, and I
just catch myself like just trying to talk to them
and like kind of guide them a little bit, you know,
And it feels good. It feels good to do that
to like try to pass that along. Because I left
(34:07):
a comment on one of my little cousins and he
got engaged in I think he's super young to do it,
but I said, I just said, hey, dude, marriage is
the best thing you can ever do if you do
it right. Yeah, And so that's how I feel about
my marriage. It's the best thing I could I could
have done.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
Yeah. Same.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
I'm so happy that I gave marriage a second chance
because this is amazing. And this is my first time
being married for a year, you guys, so that's a
huge thing for me. Yeah, so thank you.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
I'm super excited to celebrate it.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
And yeah, I think the best part about being married is,
you know, kind of to piggyback on what you said
was just companionship, knowing that even when the world is
falling apart, because I have felt that in the last
year quite a bit in my personal life with my sibling,
(35:01):
my career, just so many different things. And just to
know that I have someone to lean on and lay
my head on is amazing. And not only that, it's
just it's the right person, the person that is going
to make me feel better, knows what to tell me
and gives me good advice because he wants the best
for me. That is the best part. That I could
(35:22):
still be myself because I don't ever want to feel
controlled or in any way like I'm being tamed. It
sounds weird, but it's like I want to tame myself.
I want to change because I want to, not because
someone's making me. And I've never felt that with you.
So I want to say thank you for that. And
it's just nice to have a friend that I also
(35:42):
get to make love to and laugh with and argue
with and then make up and just have fun. It's
it's that companionship, you know. So it's been the best
part about being married. And someone that likes to eat
the same foods that I like to eat. Yeah, because
that's important. Yo, we love to eat.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Is in a bad mood, just get her some food
because they will change in a heartbeat.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
Whatever, dude.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
Second, and she'll eat mad I see, I sure will.
When we're arguing and we have food, I just I
won't eat. I'll just leave it there. She will eat.
She don't care, And I'm like, yeah, I was like you,
you must have been really hungry.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
That is true, you guys whatever, Emilio, you know what. See,
that's how you guys know. I'm consistent and very authentic
and everything that I do because I am a foodie,
even when I'm mad, Okay, like I am consistent in
everything that I do, So thank you for pointing that out.
Speaker 3 (36:38):
Then.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
Yeah, it's one of my favorite things about you.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
And I'm happy to say that Immedial is the same
exact person, if not better, every single day, you know,
is the You're the person that I chosen, and I'm
glad that I did. And I love to say that
you haven't. You haven't changed. In my mind, while we
were going through IVF and I was in a very
dark place, I thought that you had changed.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
I kept telling you. I was like, you're different, You're
not treating me the same. It was crazy.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
Both were feeling things that.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
We Yeah, we were feeling ourself very foreign. Yeah it
was very heavy. It was heavy and dense. But nonetheless
you were there for me and I'm grateful and I
am completely one hundred percent in love with you, and
I just want to say thank.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
You, dude, thank you.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
I don't know if you.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
Would like to give any newlyweds out there some advice
real quick, you know, on the first year of marriage
and how to navigate through emotions.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
I think just to recap everything real quick. Yes, we
talked about a lot of the heavy stuff, but for
every like if there was like ten percent heavy stuff
like that, ninety percent of all the good is like
it's still happening, and it's still you know, it's it's
for us. It's it's our daily happiness, our the happiness
(37:59):
that we have when we go on and when we're
at home and when we're their family or just you know,
all that is like amazing and it makes everything else
like worth it, and it makes everything, It makes everything
makes sense. I think the biggest thing is just it's
just patience, because when you have patience, you're going to understand.
(38:20):
And then when you understand it's you're just going to
connect with your partner even more. Just really try to
understand your partner and what they need at all moments.
And if you do that and not really think about yourself,
your partner will take care of you the way you need. Yeah,
and I think we do a really good job at that.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
I agree, I agree. I love everything you said. And
if I can give you guys any advice, definitely keep
God in the center of your relationship. Pray together every night.
There are going to be arguments, Just remember that you
chose that person and if you chose that person and
(39:01):
it feels right and you feel peace in your heart,
and your partner is willing to give as much as
you're willing to give, then he's also worth you leaning in,
even if that means that you have to apologize or
fix things, even if you feel it's not my fault,
(39:23):
like put the ego to the side. Guys, it's not
worth it. It's time wasted, it's energy wasted. And that's
something that I have had to remind myself and just say,
you know what, like, I love this person, and you
got to pick and choose your battles, and this is
one that I don't care to win, and you just
push it to the side and you go and give
(39:45):
your partner a kiss and just say, Babe, I love
you and I'm sorry that I was not my best self.
And hopefully he embraces you the way Amigo has because
that's important because that gives you a safe place.
Speaker 3 (39:57):
Yeah, thank you, babe for.
Speaker 1 (40:00):
Being on the podcast. It was a beautiful conversation, So
thank you for being on. People love to hear from us,
and I'm excited to celebrate many one year anniversaries with you.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
Yeah, Okay, because.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
I wanted to feel like the first year all the time.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
If not better.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
I know, I know what you want.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
I can see up a Sando baby. Okay, basically that's
why I wrote you that song.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
I know.
Speaker 3 (40:26):
I love you.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
Thank you guys so much for listening to the pod.
If I could just ask you for something, just pray.
Pray for your girl, Pray for her marriage, pray for
her womb. Send me positive vibes. I love you, guys,
and I'm really grateful that you guys choose to listen
to Cheeky's and Chill Aroma Baby. This is a production
(40:51):
of iHeartRadio and the Micaela Podcast Network. Follow us on
Instagram at Michael Dourha Podcasts, then follow me Cheeky's That's
c A h I.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
Q U i s.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast
Host
Chiquis
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