April 14, 2023 • 57 mins
This week, Rachel Zoe speaks with health & wellness entrepreneur and creator of Melissa Wood Health, Melissa Wood. On today’s episode, Melissa reflects on her childhood, personal anxieties, and taking on the “leader of the house” role at a young age. Melissa also opens up on the importance of taking time to heal and learning to love yourself.
Sponsors:
ZocDoc- Go to Zocdoc.com/ZOE and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Many are available within 24 hours.
Genesis GV70 - Turn heads with stunning design inside and out. Discover intuitive technology inside including Navigation with a 14.5-inch HD screen. Learn more at Genesis.com. Genesis. Keep Beginning.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Every Genesis is a reminder to try something new, to
keep growing, keep hustling, keep beginning. At Genesis, they harness
that mindset into their performance suv. The GV seventy turn
heads with a stunning design inside and out. Discover intuitive
technology inside the GV seventy with a fourteen point five
(00:21):
inch infotainment system. The Genesis GV seventy is for those
who are making their mark on the world and want
to enjoy the luxurious amenities while they do it. So
go on and enjoy an exhilarating drive in the GV seventy.
Your Genesis GV seventy is waiting for you. Learn more
at Genesis dot com Genesis Keep Beginning. Hi everyone, I'm
(00:51):
Rachel Zoe and you're listening to Climbing in Heels. This
show is all about celebrating the most extraordinary superwoman who
will be sharing their most incredible journeys to the top,
all while staying glamorous. Today with me, I have a
very dear friend. We have health and wellness coach and
creator of the so Beyond Amazing Melissa Would Health Empire
(01:16):
Melissa Would. On today's episode, Melissa reflects on her tough childhood,
her personal anxieties taking on the leader of the house
role at a very young age, and also her feelings
of being very insecure about her education and the struggles
she had in school. Melissa also opens up with us
(01:39):
on her ability now and when she was younger to
focus on creating incredibly strong relationships, how that really helped
her navigate through her life and bonds with others in
order to succeed and now and over the last several years,
taking the time to heal and really just love herself
(02:00):
and quite honestly, I think that's the relationship we all
struggle with the most. So it's really incredible to hear
from Melissa. So let's get into it. You're such a
great example of someone who worked so incredibly hard to
(02:21):
be where you are. You're so grateful for every single step.
You're very open about the steps, and you deserve to
be where you are. But I also think that you've
really maintained this strength and femininity and overall beauty about you.
And I don't say beauty because you're beautiful, I just
(02:41):
mean an overall just like you have this beautiful presence
about you when you enter a room, and I think
like for me, when I say climbing in heels, it
doesn't mean heels. It just means that you are embracing
being a woman, embracing your femininity, but really owning your
strength and your super powers. But I always like to
(03:02):
really go back, just in touch on the start, because
I think it's so important for me just to know, like,
who on earth were you as a kid? Like who
what kind of little girl were you? Were you like ambitious?
Were your dream or were you dancing? Were you in
the center of the room, were you in the back
of the room, What kind of child were you? And
(03:22):
do you feel like you're that same person? Well, first
of all, thank you. I feeling the one thing I'm
learning to do in life is just like let things
come in and take things in and thank you for
It's hard, right, It's hard, right, Yeah, no, it is.
It's so interesting because I think we're so hard on
ourselves and to just give yes a moment when someone is,
(03:46):
you know, praising you, I think it's it's really important.
So thank you. I'm so honored to be here, and
I'm very unbiased. I also want to say that I
am so unbiased. You came into my life. I think
over the pandemic, I saw you, I realized that we
kind of knew some of the same people. But I
was very very drawn to your like, you know, for
(04:09):
lack of sounding very la because I'm in New York
or at heart for life, your energy, like I just
felt it, and in the pandemic, I think it was
sort of like that was all we had, right so
I just felt like, Okay, she's who She's who I need.
She's the vibe that I'm that I need right now.
And then we just became ins to friends and then
all the time we got to me together. So we
(04:31):
thank social media for these things. Well, I've like secretly
manifested you into my life, Rachel, I've been eyeing you
for years. It's you know, it's so funny having you
asked me about my childhood. I actually was home this
past weekend and whenever I go home, I always drive
by the house that I grew up in, and I
(04:53):
think it's just such a moment of perspective and to
really take it back to, you know, the seven year
old girl that moved into that house, and I was
like looking up at the window that was my room
I shared with you know, I have four sisters. I
have your four sisters. Yeah, I have a lot of siblings.
(05:16):
Four sisters, and how many brothers? One brother? One brother?
So you're one of six. Wait, yes, you're one of six.
Wow Okay, I know, wow, Okay. So you know, we
grew up in this tiny little house, my sisters and
I and I was like a mini a little mom.
(05:38):
You know, my mom was a single mother. My parents
got a divorce when I was young, and I, you know,
I was like, when I think back to my childhood,
it was a tough childhood. You know. I was just
like always trying to do anything and everything that I
could to help my mom so that my mom want
(06:00):
to come home and be stressed and you know, unhappy
with the house being dirty, and I was really bossy.
And my sister I could say that, were you the oldest?
Are you the oldest? I'm the middle the middle five? Okay, interesting, no,
because normally it's the oldest one that kind of takes
(06:21):
on that mom role. And something I want to mention too,
and I don't want to interrupt you, but one of
the common threads on this podcast is how many of
these superwomen come from single moms. A lot a lot,
and I think you take a lot from that. Absolutely.
I mean I even like the relationship that I've built
(06:44):
with my mother. Now I'm like, how did you do it?
I'm like, no, wonder why everything was always a little
stressed out. It was like, you know, my mom was
doing everything that she could to make ends meet, and
my father too. I you know, I saw my dad
on the weekends. But yeah, I was. I really was
a worker since the moment I remember. It was like
(07:08):
even if I wasn't getting paid, I was like working
in the house. I was doing the dishes, I was
cleaning up. I was just always a doer, and as
the second I was able to get a job, I did.
And it's just I think, you know, for me, it
was I was just always looking to do anything and
(07:29):
everything that I could to help, even like provide for
my sisters, Like I would buy supplies for my sisters.
I would like give my sister her quarter for our
like quarter lunch that I was like so embarrassed about then.
But now when I go home, I'm able to like
really reflect and be like, wow, I can't believe that
(07:50):
I was able to move through all of these challenges
and the way that we were brought up and now
I live in New York City. It's just and where
was this? So where was this? You grew up? I
grew up in Sarahcuse, New York, got it? Okay, Okay,
So that's crazy because well I say that in a
(08:11):
way that now as an adult, I'm sure as you said,
it's like, first of all, my sister's been a single
mom for seventeen years. Her kids are now in their
twenty So I love your sister, thank you, me too.
I'm obsessed with her. But I have to say, there's
no harder job, Like I have to say, no matter what.
But when you take that and say you had five
(08:34):
siblings and a single mom, and you took on that
role at like a very young age, and you know,
my mother had that role as well. My mom said
I didn't have a childhood. My mom was like I
was taking care of my sister since I was ten
years old, Like my parents went to work and I
was the parent. And so but what's interesting is that
(08:55):
it's like I hate to be that cliche of like
something good comes out of everything bad and hard, but
that's hugely responsible for who you are today, right, And
I think that put in you. I'm not expecting anything.
I'm going to get it myself. This is my work ethic.
You have to work hard in life like those things
are things that really can't be taught. I have to
tell you, Oh, I know right, I can't be. I
(09:21):
wish we could. No, my friend, you are you aren't.
It's in you or it's not. I wish I could be.
But it's interesting and so okay. So what about And
again I want to preface this by saying, in no
way does it define you, but I think it's important
to talk about what your education. So did you graduate
(09:44):
high school? Did you go to college? Like? What happened?
Because I've by the way, sixty percent of the women
that I've been on did not go to college. And no,
I'm barely high school. No, I'm so happy to talk
about this because I never thought I was smart growing up.
It is always like even moving to New York, it
was just like it's always been the one thing that
(10:05):
I have felt a lot of shame around. And I
think a lot of that is society. Yes, that you know,
the second you meet people, usually one of the first
questions people you got a school to doing a school,
and like when you're at a dinner party with of
course you know, very successful people and you're like, well,
I didn't who went to Prig school, Who went to
this who went to this college? Who got to sure?
(10:27):
Of course? It was one thing that was really hard
for me when I moved to New York and I
did graduate high school. I struggled in school. I must
say that I was a bad student, But I think
when you grow up in a household that is literally
(10:47):
just trying to like survive. Yeah, like full blown survival
mode education. It's not really a priority in like checking
to see if homework is done. And not that my
parents didn't care. I really want to stress that, of course,
they had so much to worry about, and with so
many kids, it's like we kind of had to fend
(11:09):
for ourselves. And for me, the way to really get
by was like since I was very young, I feel
like one thing that I did without ever even realizing it,
but I see it now is I've always built strong
relationships in my life, and I always like somehow became
friends with like the smartest kids who would like help me,
(11:30):
you know, but like we would hang and like it
wasn't just it was really like we became friends, and
it is truly what got me by And I think
just being a really kind yeah child, like I was
always really kind and gracious and just I always asked
for help because I needed a lot of help and
(11:52):
school was really really hard for me. Like I'm lucky
that I graduated. Truly. I only laugh because I laugh
because not like funny laugh. I laugh because there's this
huge societal judgment about and it depends on where you
(12:14):
live and what you do, right, And I think, of course,
if you're a doctor, or you're a lawyer, or you're
this or that, assigned it whatever, go to school, go
to school, do an extra fifteen years of school after
you graduate college? Great, right, godspeed. I wasn't that person.
I did well when I tried. I went to college,
I somehow graduated well. But like I have to tell you,
(12:37):
I don't think those stigmas are going to exist for
that much longer, because I really think I have two
friends that just spoke at Harvard Business School, tremendously successful businesses,
they barely graduated high school. They spoke about it very
honestly and to your point. The reason I think it's
important to talk about is because I really stand by
(12:58):
the fact that your education no way defines you, It
no way determines your future and success. I think that
intelligence has a hundred different ways to measure it. I
think as women, I always felt dumb. I always felt
dumb in fact. In fact, I grew up in a
town where you know, everyone went to ivy leagues. My parents,
(13:19):
friends kids all went to Ivy League schools. And I
kept looking at my parents like, oh god, you know
my parents didn't care. They didn't put that on me,
thank god. But I have to say, I just remember
my mom's best friend saying to me, Rachel, don't be confused.
This is not a measure of your intelligence at all.
You're smarter than any of those people that are going
(13:41):
to those schools. I know it because my son's going
to I'm telling you, I don't worry about you. And
this was when I was like seventeen, and I was like,
she'll know what she's talking about. It was like sobbing.
So I think to your point, we all are smart
in different ways, right, and I think clearly it has
not impacted did your life, your journey? I think it
(14:04):
does impact our security, right like our confidence in who
we are. Oh yeah, and I think we have to
break and you have to break. And I think there's
this huge conversation now happening, especially with women, talking very
loudly about it's not the path for everybody, right, it's
not and it doesn't have to be and there shouldn't
(14:25):
be a stigma around it. And I think, I mean,
you're clearly evidence of that and so many others and
so but I do think that it is this hard
moment when you're in that conversation of what school did
you go to? Because even still I still have people,
I mean, I'm like a hundred and someone says, what
school did you go to? Why are you asking me? That?
(14:47):
That's such a weird question, like an asset in job interviews.
You know, it's just so funny, common wild, and it's
what's so crazy is like, so I did. I went
to a community college right near syracuseon. I did graduate
with an associate's degree, which still shocked. You know, it
was really hard, but that's amazing to do that. But
(15:10):
I you know, I always felt like a bit of
an outsider because everyone went away to school. I didn't
even apply to school, Like we didn't even walk through
that process, and you know, now to have a case
study where like Harvard Business School wrote a case study
on my business and I'll never forget when I had
(15:32):
the call with the professors and I cried. I was like,
you don't understand, Like I never thought it was smart.
And to have a school like Harvard recognize something that
I had built is just like it's such a moment
for all the young boys and girls out there to
(15:54):
know that there is a place for you, like no
matter if you no matter how you do it exactly,
and if if you don't know in this moment, because
I didn't know for really lock time, I didn't know
my strengths. I didn't even know how to discover my strengths.
And you know, I'm happy to share a lot of
that too, But there really is, I think, something for
(16:17):
us all for us to tap into, and it's just
discovered in so many different ways and it's like how beautiful. Right, Well,
so at what point did you so you moved to
New York? Whatever you I knew, Noah, of course in
my old life right and my old like fun. I
love New York life the best decade of my life,
(16:40):
of course, not counting the one with my kids, but
definitely that was that was a ride of New York
City being its absolute best self. But like, how did
you meet Noah? How did that start? You're now this
mom with these gorgeous young children climbing all over your
head and your body while you're trying to make a
(17:01):
green juice, maybe while you're like it's all happening, and
somehow you've created this movement quite literally that appeals to
really everyone on some level, because it's almost like I
feel like you like saw me, Like I feel like
you were trying to be like, hey, everyone, if you
(17:23):
move for ten minutes, this is a game changing moment.
You don't have to do two hours a day, you
don't have to commit your whole life to exercise. And
you really do speak very strongly about the mind and
the body and how connected they are, and I think,
(17:43):
quite candidly, I think one of the things I find
most endearing about you is that you really talk about
your own and your own struggles and like, I'm having
a rough day. I was like having a panic attack
this morning, and I did this and now I'm like
I'm breathing right, And I think that's so many of
us do that every day, right, So what was the
(18:05):
impetus for this? Because I think what I'm hearing, what
I'm seeing, and you know, this is where my psych
major moments come in. But like, you're a survivor. Honestly,
like you're a survivor, and I think it's like you're
this beautiful, chic, elegant, badass mom, superwoman, all these things.
(18:26):
But ultimately, you really started young as a survivor. And
I think I'm going to argue and say that really
is the impetus for how you live your life now.
But I think my guess is you're probably trying to
figure out how to process it, take it and enjoy it,
recognize it, and live it right and not feel like
(18:47):
like a hamster on a wheel. Right. No, definitely, I
mean I feel like I've been trying to get off
that wheel, and to be honest with you, for the
first time in my life, I haven't been feeling anxious
and that was my baseline for most of my life.
And now at forty years old, I'm like, oh wait,
(19:09):
Like I don't need to live my life like there's
a tiger freaking chasing me throughout my entire day. Every day,
no matter what is going on. So you know, a
lot of what has gotten me to this place right
here is years ago when I started this business, and
I really have to share this. You guess, I had
(19:29):
no idea what I was doing. I didn't think in
my mind I was starting a business. I just was.
I was trying to heal myself. I was really trying
to change my relationship with myself because I didn't like
myself at this time when I like really was stepping
(19:50):
on them at was battling overcoming in eating disorder. I
had cystic acne all over my face, down my neck,
my back. I looked in the mirror and I only
saw the things that I hated. I didn't love myself.
I didn't treat myself with love. And how old were
you then, massa out like just to get like a
(20:11):
time frame, I mean, I was in my I was
in my early thirties, and I was with Noah, which
I'll bring that because that was a really important shift
in it all too. But for me, it was like
when I finally, for the first time in my life,
was no longer running from myself, and I was no
(20:33):
longer running from my upbringing or the traumas that were
literally just making me live in utter fear. I started
to get a little comfortable, like sharing the real shift,
like look at the things that I was trying to mask.
I never in my like growing up, I didn't want
(20:56):
anyone to know, like anything that was going on. I
did anything and everything that I could to make things
feel normal. And it was really hard. It's so hard
wearing that mask for so many years and was living
a lie. It's a lie which is exhausting and paralyzing.
It's exhausting. And I finally was like, actually, this is me.
(21:22):
Suffer from anxiety. I have a horrible relationship with myself,
which has transmuted itself into a horrible relationship with food.
And I solely started getting comfortable sharing it. And a
lot of the reason why I did is because I
was with someone in my life who gave me a
sense of I don't even like to say it's it
(21:45):
wasn't even security, no of safety, safe haven of love
and support. And I mean I used to cry to
him and like he would get up in the morning,
he would like jump out of bed, he was so
happy and enthusiastic for his day, and I'd be like,
you know, I didn't love what I was doing. I
(22:07):
was so down. I would literally sleep until the moment
I had to like run out the door and get ready.
And I would like beg him to tell me, like
how do I find my thing? How do And he
was like, you just have to pay attention to the
things that like get you going, and like I say it,
(22:27):
like the things that like light you up. Like for me,
it's the simplest things that bring me back to this
peaceful place within myself that moves me away from the
anxious cycle of living on the hamster wheel. And he
really taught me how to focus my energy. I did
not know how to do that before could How could
(22:48):
you saying? That's what I'm saying. You're a born hustler.
I have the hustle in my bones, but I think
sometimes you can hustle yourself to a point where you're
just it's just nothing is fulfilling. Of course, well you
can't feel it. You're never stopping to actually feel it, right,
Like you're just going, Yeah, that's why I'm saying. It's
(23:10):
like survival. It's just you're just going, You're like this day,
this day, this day. It's not it's not about money.
It's just sort of like it's just that constant feeling
of Okay, what's next. I don't even know what I'm doing. Okay, great, Okay,
I'm doing this. It's like moving through life in a
way that you're actually kind of numb, right, you don't
actually feel what's happening. And I think, yeah, this sounds
like you centered and woke up and was like okay, okay,
(23:36):
this isn't or I guessed at all. Yeah, I faced it,
and I faced it surprisingly enough with the camera on me,
because it's so interesting because like I mean, I shared
on social media before I ever even shared with like
the fostest people in my life that had an eating disorder,
and for me, I found this comfort in the online
(23:59):
community that I was building because I felt like there
was I mean we're talking like back before, yeah, ten
thousand followers, but it was like there was this like
together togetherness and like this release of judgment where I
was so afraid to tell the people of course knew
me and I was hiding something from them, and it
(24:19):
really sparked this like wow, I can connect with someone
in like in South Africa or Australia and like in
my living room, Like it was really interesting and well,
you like you shared your vulnerabilities. And I think there's
this whole thing on Instagram, which you know you've talked about,
we've probably all talked about, where there's this image of
(24:40):
perfection and everyone that they see and we all know
that's not real, right, Like we know that's not real.
So I think by you doing that and it resonating
with so many people, I think that's what really started
to make people really want to be part of your
world because you were like they were like, here's this
(25:01):
beautiful person. She lives in a beautiful she's in New
York City, she's doing this, she has he saying whatever
it is. And you're like, hey, like I'm a mess too,
Like yeah, right, I mean we all are, literally we
all are. That's a thing, but like, no, not everyone
talks about it, right yeah. And I mean for me,
(25:23):
it was also like starting to see myself differently and
I literally learned to love myself fully on the map,
and I would like, you know, I read all these
books like Louise Hayes How to Heal Your Life and
Maryann Williamson's Returned to Love and those books really did
(25:47):
help me and my practice be able to look at
myself in the mirror and see that younger version of
myself who was literally just wanted more love then now,
and being able to provide myself with that instead of
externally looking for it in all the wrong places. For
the first time, I have transformed into a completely different
(26:11):
version of myself, and I really understood, and I still
understand today because it's still it's like we're just continuously
peeling back these layers, and I'm like, I like myself
even more now, Like it's and it really is something
that I truly wanted to share with other people because
(26:32):
I felt like possible for me. I know it's possible
for anyone out there who really wants it, yeah, and
who really wants to live their life in this place.
Every genesis is a reminder to try something new, to
keep growing, keep puzzling, keep beginning. A genesis they harness
(26:54):
that mindset into their performance SUV. The GV seventy discover
intuitive technology inside the GV seventy with a fourteen point
five infotament system. The Genesis GV seventy is for those
who are making their mark on the world and want
to enjoy luxurious amenities while they do it. I used
to dread driving around LA because of the traffic, the
(27:15):
stop and go, the blaring sun always getting directly into
my eyes no matter what time of day it is.
But thanks to Genesis and the GV seventy, driving around
here isn't too bad, especially when I'm driving in style
turnheads with the stunning design of the GV seventy. Inside
and out, the GV seventy features the silhouette of a
coup and the capability of an SUV. So go on
(27:37):
and enjoy an exhilarating drive in the GV seventy. Your
Genesis GV seventy is waiting for you. Learn more at
Genesis dot com Genesis Keep Beginning. Everyone knows that nothing
brings your day or week to a halt like getting
sick or just not feeling well. When you find the
right doctor, you can feel it, You feel heard under ease.
(28:00):
There's nothing worse than going to a doctor's appointment expecting
to be the center of attention, and then your doctor
basically seems like they have better things to do in
better places to be like, doesn't care at all. On
zoc doc, you'll find quality doctors who focus on you,
listen to you, and prioritize your care. Zok doc is
the only free app that lets you find and book
(28:21):
doctors who are patient reviewed, take your insurance, are available
when you need them, and treat almost every condition under
the sun. No more doctor roulette or scouring the internet
for questionable reviews. With zoc doc, you have a trusted
guide to connect you to your favorite doctor you haven't
even met yet. Millions of people use zoc docs free
(28:41):
app to find and book a doctor in their neighborhood
who is patient reviewed and fits their needs and schedule
just right. Go to zodc dot com slash zoe and
download the zoc doc app for free. Then find and
book a top rated doctor today. Many are available within
twenty four hours. That's zoc doc dot com, slash zoe,
(29:08):
zoc doc dot com slash zoe. It's funny because I
think you talk about it, and I think something you're
also very candid about is sometimes it's a lot, and
even with your kids or like this is freaking rough
and insane sometimes like and you're like help, Like You're
like I'm trying to be patient and I'm losing my mind,
(29:30):
and I think those things are things that everybody deals
with but nobody talks about, right. And I think that
you demystified the sort of like image of perfection based
on what people see or think that they see, right.
And I think you humanized the journey and how hard
(29:54):
it is and your struggles with it. And I think
that really ultimately helped hill you in a lot of ways,
and probably continues to do that because I imagine you
get so much feedback in real time, Like I imagine
everybody's just like, thank you for doing that, thank you
for posting that. Like to sometimes you'll you'll like post
something and I'll be like, oh my god, me too.
I had a full panic attack this morning, you know,
(30:17):
you know, but I literally did right before this. Not
a panic could tell you, but a moment in a moment,
Oh god, yes. And then learning also that I'm running
a business and to be able to see the stuff
when it's coming up. Now I'm able to see it.
Before I would just be so swallowed by it, but
now I'm able to be like, Okay, I'm feeling super bothered,
(30:39):
really irritated today. However, I have a podcast and a
live so we're going to take the thing and we're
just gonna shift it to the side because I am safe.
I am okay, this is going like everything's going to
be fine. I can come back to that, and I
think that is something that business has really taught me,
(30:59):
not to allow everything to just like knock you off.
You can't you literally can't you still be on the
floor all day, oh literally all day long. But it
is going back to the feedback. It's the it's like
the never ending feedback that just like it fills my soul,
(31:20):
it really truly does, and it has me doing things
in my life I never in a million years thought
I would be doing because I feel so supported and
just like this is just the beginning. Because you know,
I think when you really experience this impact that you're
you've not only made within yourself, but to help anyone
(31:42):
else along the way, it's so powerful and it keeps
you Like now I jump out of bed in the morning.
You know, I also have a beautiful family and children
that I'm so in love with that it's just changed
every aspect of my life. But well, I want to
talk about this safety because I use that word a lot,
and I it's one of those things where a friend
(32:02):
of mine was you know, I have a lot of
people in my life looking for their person, right, and
they say I need my person, and you know, I
always say, you need your safe person, right, And you're
safe person because that person, whether it's a husband, whether
it's your sister, whether it's your best friend, you're safe people.
(32:23):
That's the healing process, right, because where you go, where
you feel safe, that's when you're going to be yourself, right,
That's where you're going to let it all down. And
I think that this process for you, I mean clearly
forties for you, this is like your best life, right,
This is but you. But you manifested it, you worked
(32:44):
for it. It has been hard. But I also think
that I think that probably your young self, all you
were really looking for was probably safety, right because ultimately
that's what you dream for, right. You just dream for
like going to sleep at night, feeling like you're safe,
like your mom and your dad in your house, whatever
it is. You just want to feel safe. Right. Oh yeah,
(33:05):
And now I think you've created that in every possible way.
And I want to touch on something that when I
met you, you mentioned it and I looked at you
like you were an alien because I was like, what
we were somewhere? I think at Paris's wedding, right, I think,
and I turn around in this like tall gorgeous person
(33:27):
with this body. I cannot but clearly you work for
fair enough genetically blast but also work for it very hard.
But I was like, let's get a drink. You're like, oh,
I stopped drinking, but I'll get something. And I was
like wait what like wait what so that's fairly recent
right like two years? Three years? It's been over three years. Wow, Okay,
(33:47):
So I do want to talk about that because I've
never been like a big drinker, but I am someone
that's like, I don't drink at home, like I have
certain rules around it, but when I go out, I
mean one hundred percent, I want a glass of wine.
I want. But I want to know what took you there,
because clearly it's working and it's I think made you
even clearer and safer and happier and more peaceful. But
(34:11):
tell me about that, absolutely. Well. It was so interesting
because this was it was a month before my birthday.
I'm going to take you guys back to It was
November twenty nineteen, and after every meditation practice. I would
just have these I mean, it's really crazy what happens
(34:32):
when you have a consistent practice. And that's why I
am so passionate about it, because I'm like, you don't
understand I was not this person right sure, I'm telling
you right now. And I can also revert back to
wear one real quick if I don't sure stay you
know which. By the way, I love that part of
myself too, like don't mess with me. It's good to
(34:53):
have it in there when you need to access it,
but I prefer to be more grounded or not completely fiery.
But after every meditation, I would literally feel this kind
of like intuitive feeling of like get clear, I get clear.
I was just about to launch my app. Had a
(35:16):
few websites at this point, but I was relaunching like
a brand new website with an app. I had never
had an app before, so I just kept thinking, Okay,
it's time to get clear. I'm launching the app. It's time,
you know, like, and I just instead of One thing
I've learned to do is when you hear those calls,
because we all hear them, usually they're whispers and then
(35:39):
they turn into cries sometimes when it gets to the
point where you're just like not listening. And then a
lot of the time, I think that is when certain
things happen in people's lives because they didn't listen to
that like strong, intuitive knowing or feeling. So I just
said to myself, I was like, you know what. And
it was funny, as I had like drunk the night
(36:01):
before and I wasn't feeling great and I'm talking like
a couple of drinks yea, as I had built a
mindful of relationship with alcohol. But I was like, I
am just going to take the next thirty days to
get crystal clear with myself. I'm you know, my birthday's
coming up. So I took those thirty days, and the
thirty days turned into sixty days and ninety days. And
(36:23):
the reason why is because I liked the way that
I felt. I just felt this overall clarity. I felt
a reduction of anxiety, which for me was like a
major culprit for even just trying life without alcohol. Plus, listen,
I'm a product of alcoholics. You know, alcoholism runs in
(36:44):
the bloodline. So I'm strong. That's a strong one. Yeah.
And I've always been able to recognize like my own
addictive personality with whatever it is, so yeah, it just
turned into this thing. And then the pandemic hit and
it was like it was so crazy because I was like,
all this time, I thought it was like the app
(37:05):
and like, I don't. I mean, I know, people it
can sound crazy, but now I look back and I'm like, no,
Like I was like getting prepared for something that no
one could be freaking prepared for. But there was just
this I don't know. Instead of like living in the force,
I was like leaning into the flow of what I
was feeling, which is how I do everything. I have
(37:27):
to feel that way, and the most unfortunate time in
the world, I was mentally prepared for how to handle
something that I don't know that I would have been
able to handle it the way that I did because
I wasn't drinking. And you know, it was a massive
(37:50):
silver lining to be able to be like set up
in a place digitally where I was able to share
this work with so many people when we needed it
most one like one hundred percent. And I think it's
wild because I think so many businesses didn't survive in
(38:12):
the pandemic because they didn't know how to be And
I think that in that moment again, that's when I
saw you and I just was like, yes, she one
hundred percent this is who we need. And I'm not
someone that's a big exerciser. I'm not someone that meditates.
I'm not the person. But I was like, I get her,
(38:35):
like I get her. She sees all of us. She's
nutty like all of us, she owns her nuttiness like
all of us. Like, oh, yeah, it's different. And I think,
but I think not drinking does provide clarity. And what
I do want to point out is what I've realized recently,
and I said this to Roger, I cannot believe how
(38:57):
many friends I have I've discovered over the last a
few months that are sober since the pandemic, became sober
after the pandemic, Because like, if you didn't do that
just before the pandemic, that could have gone another way, right,
because everyone, sure, everyone that was prone to drinking went
(39:22):
so excessively in the pandemic. Everyone I know, honestly, I know,
and so obviously you saw something without knowing that you
saw something. I know it's in like even today, I'm like,
it's been over three years. I was at dinner last
night with my girlfriend who hasn't drunk and nineteen years
(39:42):
I used to I literally told her, I'm like, I
used to think like there was no way your life
was fun. I actually was like, how is she doing anything?
And what I've learned to really understand through this process
is like I actually enjoy my life and everything in
front of me in such a bigger way. And it's
(40:05):
and by the way, I also have zero judgment for people,
like if you choose to drink or do your thing.
I do, however, have something to say where it's just
become this massive norm on social media to really glamorize
and just broadcast the hangovers and this, and I just
(40:25):
think it's important for these younger generations to know like
there's actually there's a different way, and like there is
a movement towards living life like with more of a
clear head and a clear mind, and like that's also
very cool. Like it's really freaking cool to wake up
feeling good on a Saturday and a Sunday. I have
(40:45):
to tell you, enjoying the whole damn day. There ain't
nothing cooler than that. By the way, especially with two
very young children, I don't care what you did the
night before, and how much fun you had and how
shitting you exactly That's what's really kept me going. And
I always say too, I'm like, I could choose to
(41:07):
have a drink tomorrow. I don't know. I just know,
great now this is working, this is really supporting me,
and it's yeah, I'm able to manage things differently. I'm
more calm, which god I know I need. I need.
But wait, so, okay, so you're living your wildest dreams
(41:27):
right now beyond right. I mean, correct me if I'm wrong.
I know that, But this is what I think. I
actually think that you haven't even scratched the surface of
what is to come. And I it's like, even just
knowing you for a few years, it's like you have
so much that you're going to do still. But I think,
(41:51):
I think what I would love to know is sort
of like, what is your dream? Like? What I mean,
I'm someone that doesn't overplan my life, right, so I
don't I don't set those in two and twenty five
I'm doing that either, But what's your like mindset now
as you sit here? Are you able to enjoy where
(42:11):
you are? Or you like, oh my god, what's that
I'm doing this. This is no that's I think it's
so important to really sit with this conversation because we're
always looking and having you asked me my living my
wildest dreams. I am living be on my wildest dreams
(42:32):
at this moment, and yes, like I love what I do,
I really truly love it. I love my life. I
love this simplicity of the days where I don't have
the trips planned and the things to do. I just
like the way that I live my life. I'm really
proud of how I show up, of how I treat myself,
(42:54):
of how I treat everyone in my life. And while
I feel so good, I have so many things that
I desire and like that's what I really pulled on
to it like that, I'm like, I have deep, deep
desires of really stepping in as a thought leader and
(43:18):
a motivational speaker in an even bigger way and really
just spreading this message as far and as wide as
I possibly can, with as many people as I can.
Because what I think about is like I think of
my seven year old self looking out that window of
like the tiny little house that I grew up in,
and then crying out the window and feeling like nothing
(43:40):
in life as possible. I truly thought some people were lucky.
Nothing came easy, and I'm not saying that it doesn't
come before that I'm not lucky. I recognize my privilege
and my luck. However, I believe that when you align
your action to support the life that you want for yourself,
(44:04):
beyond that sky is the limit. And I am living
proof of that. And I just I'm really excited. I'm
excited to write my book. I'm excited to me we
have a series one day, you know, I'm really excited
about the endless possibilities. But I'm really present with what's
in front of me, and I don't lose sight of
(44:25):
like what has me here. And the most important thing
is always like giving back to my members, my community
that started this all, and that's truly what has been
my focus for these past handful of years. It continues
to be, is like, how can we improve everything that
we've built? How can we continue giving more, providing more value?
(44:47):
And I think living in that way is where it
just opens the doors and that life synchronicities just start
to connect in the most unexpected of ways because you're
truly living in the f and I have to live
in the flow. As soon as something feels out of
a linement or force for me, I know I can't
do it because I think so many people pay attention
(45:12):
to like what's going on? What is everybody else doing?
The trends, the things, and they lose sight of themselves. Yes,
you have to stay authentic to like like what has
me here? Like I'm so you know, it's like really
honing in on your authentic voice and not trying to
be and do what everybody else is doing. There's space
(45:32):
for everybody. Oh yeah, there is space for everybody. And
not everybody's going to love you and that's okay. That's
why there's space for everybody. That's a big learning too.
God have you and I imagine the answer is yes
to this? And I don't ask everyone this question, but
I definitely would want to ask you this. I personally
experienced this throughout my entire career even still today. But
(45:56):
have you had people in your life who wanted to
see you fail, who wanted to kick you down, who
wanted to have you canceled before canceling was a thing?
Is there? Have you let the haters in? And is
that was that part of your struggle to get to
your place that you're now like or did you have
(46:16):
people that were like Melissa, you got that? Like who
was I think one part of the question is have
you had those people that try to knock you down?
And conversely, did you have one person that was like,
you got this? I know you got this go, I'm
going to help you. I'm gonna I'm gonna be your
(46:37):
cheerleader because you don't have one, right like, who was
that person? If there was one? I mean, you know,
I'm so lucky to have married like my mentor like
Noah's just he has taught me so much about life
in business and even just in our relationship. And it's
(47:01):
interesting He's he's such a sound word for me, but
we're also so different and which the businesses which are
so different. So while you know, I'll go to him
and just I always say, he gives me like the
one thing that like money cannot buy, and that's just
the most incredible advice. He gives great advice, he has
(47:23):
amazing experiences. However, I don't always take his advice and
really listen to myself. And I have, without a doubt,
had those people in my life. Who unfortunately, you know,
it's like they can latch on because they're really good
(47:45):
at that. But I have a really strong sense and
as soon as I before, I've always had a really strong,
like intuitive sense since I was really really little. Same
but didn't you let them in any way? I did too.
I did. And then when I get to the point
(48:05):
of like I see it, Yeah, I really like I
detach with love same same. It's like red flag warnings. Yeah,
And sometimes it takes a few times, but for me,
I've really gotten into the place of no longer feeling
like I need to give myself to everyone that my
time is so precious. That's like the most precious thing
(48:27):
we all have is like our time where you choose
suspend it. And I have gotten really good with my
nose like crystal clear, and I don't feel that and
I don't give big explanations like I used to. Good.
I think that's again I want to talk about that
because I think that's a lot of the I think
(48:48):
that's a lot of turning forty. I don't put it
as an age, I just mean in that space because
my dad taught me as a serial entrepreneur, my dad
always taught me that confidence comes with experience, because my
twenty something self just working twenty four seven for fifteen
years straight. My dad used to I used to be like, Dad,
when am I going to stop like getting nervous on
(49:10):
every shoot that I walk into as if it's my
last job, right? And my dad would always say, confidence
only comes with experience. It just only comes with experience.
And it's true. And I think that's life too, where
forty becomes this different game, it's a different playing field,
and it's like, Nope, I have this much time and
(49:31):
these are this is what's allowed in it, right, right,
And you lose some of that guilt, right, you lose
some of that guilt about walking away from a situation
or a person who's toxic or whatever. And so okay,
So Noah, I do want to touch on Noah because
you know, I've known him for so many years, but
I want to say that I think one of the
(49:53):
beautiful things about Noah is he's like on top of
his game, and like how long has he'd been doing
what he does? Right? I mean, Noah is one of
the original club restaurants. I mean, he's like a master
at what he does, and so many of the people
(50:16):
in that industry go like, aren't really high and then
they crash. He's just what twenty five years later, I
don't even know. Yeah, but around that and he's clear,
and he's kind, and he's smart, and he works so
freaking hard. But like, I also think to have him
as a safe person and mentor, let alone your husband
(50:39):
and father of your children is a beautiful thing. Oh
my god, it is. He's the best. But I also
think you are a fiery force of your own. And
be clear, I know who the boss is in that house.
But but I just want to say I love what
you're doing. I love what you do. I love that
(51:00):
you have created a space for so many women with
every background, with every upbringing, with every you know, every
different way that they choose to live their lives. And
I think you've made a very safe place to speak
freely about anxiety, about eating disorders, about struggles, about daily
(51:21):
life being terrifying and those moments. But also, I think
the most important thing without sounding really like you know, cliche,
but like learning to love yourself, because I do believe that.
You know, it's funny because I'll always call you Melissa
with health, Like I just won't because we all just
got called our Instagram names, but I do. It's so beyond.
(51:45):
It's funny because I think about your exercise and workout
and flow as so secondary to the brand. Weirdly, like,
I know that that's so important and that's why everybody
follows you like a cult leader a good way. But
but I think that you're overall message that you live
(52:06):
and preach and practice and talk about and show and
very candidly share your weaker moments I think has really
brought together this beautiful community, you know, And for someone
like me who doesn't really do that, nor do I
have a lot of actual time, I just found it
also compelling. And then obviously when I got to actually
(52:29):
meet you, I was like, oh my god, I already
love you, you know, So I just I really believe
in what you're doing. I really, I think so many
people do, and I think so many people are grateful
to you for it, and I'm just excited, honestly to
see what's next. I am or just or by the way,
if you just keep doing exactly what you're doing now,
that's also just enough. So you I'm so grateful that
(52:54):
I I'm really like I'm grateful every day that I
choose myself. I just keep choosing myself, and I keep
choosing to do things to strengthen not only my body,
And I think that's why a lot of people come
to mwage just because they want the strengthen their body.
But I think what has really kept our community growing
(53:16):
and thriving and no longer just surviving is that they
find the strength within themselves and their mind that they
never even knew as possible. And it's just the message
that I want to keep sharing because I just I
believe so strongly in it, and I believe that we
all have the power to do things beyond our wildest
(53:38):
dreams when we connect to our truest self and we
really learn to love ourselves. As like crazy as that sounds,
it's actually the hardest challenge I think in life from
a place it is, and when people give you compliments,
to accept it, to take things in and yeah, it's
(53:58):
a lot of learnings. I love the ride, I really do.
I love the journey. There's no final destination for me,
Like this is all just all encompassing. What you know
makes me has made me come to life in a
way that I never even knew was possible. Well, I
love it, and so does everybody. So I'm happy to
(54:22):
have you on because you are by far just one
of the best examples of climbing in heels, even though
you know you guys don't know Melissa, but she's like
five ten, so she's actually heels. But no, I'm five nine,
you guys, and I grew an inch from my workouts.
I was always five eight. Every modeling agency was like,
(54:42):
you're too short. This is like back fifteen years. Now
I'm five nine at forty so I grew stop it
where two? God crazy? If we need we needed another
We needed another reason. We needed another reason to look
as I said, as I start to say up straight,
you're making me straight back belly button and your posture
(55:06):
opens up. I love you madly. I love talking to you.
I can talk to you for four days, but I
do have to let you get back to your life.
I can't wait to see you. I hope to spend
a lot of time with you this summer. Yes, I'm
so excited to have a beautiful day. Thank you so
much for having me, Rachel. Love you madly. I love you, bye, sweets. Okay,
(55:31):
I just want to thank my friend Melissa for coming
on the podcast and talking about very candidly, very vulnerably
and just really honest about the struggles, the challenges and
the triumphs, which there are many throughout her life, and
how she very bravely has faced them and overcome them,
(55:53):
and how she has such incredible peace and confidence now,
but that she really maintains a very very strict practice
to sort of maintain her sense of calm and peace
and safety within her own life. She's truly just so impressive.
She's incredibly fierce and powerful. She is she likes to
(56:18):
say bossy, I like to say strong, but she's also
very very open and vulnerable and really honest with all
of us about her journey, the things she was ashamed of,
the things she was scared of, the things she struggled with,
and really talks about her very honest journey to get
(56:38):
where she is now. And quite frankly, I think this
is really just the beginning for her. And she's just amazing.
I love what she's built. I follow her, and I
think she's just extraordinary all around. If you want more
climbing and heels content, follow me on at Rachel's Oe
and at Climbing Heels Pod on Instagram for more updates
(57:01):
on upcoming guests, episodes, and of course, all things curetur.
I'll see you all next week.
Every Genesis is a reminder to try something new, to
keep growing, keep hustling, keep beginning. At Genesis, they harness
that mindset into their performance suv. The GV seventy turn
heads with a stunning design inside and out. Discover intuitive
technology inside the GV seventy with a fourteen point five
(00:21):
inch infotainment system. The Genesis GV seventy is for those
who are making their mark on the world and want
to enjoy the luxurious amenities while they do it. So
go on and enjoy an exhilarating drive in the GV seventy.
Your Genesis GV seventy is waiting for you. Learn more
at Genesis dot com Genesis Keep Beginning. Hi everyone, I'm
(00:51):
Rachel Zoe and you're listening to Climbing in Heels. This
show is all about celebrating the most extraordinary superwoman who
will be sharing their most incredible journeys to the top,
all while staying glamorous. Today with me, I have a
very dear friend. We have health and wellness coach and
creator of the so Beyond Amazing Melissa Would Health Empire
(01:16):
Melissa Would. On today's episode, Melissa reflects on her tough childhood,
her personal anxieties taking on the leader of the house
role at a very young age, and also her feelings
of being very insecure about her education and the struggles
she had in school. Melissa also opens up with us
(01:39):
on her ability now and when she was younger to
focus on creating incredibly strong relationships, how that really helped
her navigate through her life and bonds with others in
order to succeed and now and over the last several years,
taking the time to heal and really just love herself
(02:00):
and quite honestly, I think that's the relationship we all
struggle with the most. So it's really incredible to hear
from Melissa. So let's get into it. You're such a
great example of someone who worked so incredibly hard to
(02:21):
be where you are. You're so grateful for every single step.
You're very open about the steps, and you deserve to
be where you are. But I also think that you've
really maintained this strength and femininity and overall beauty about you.
And I don't say beauty because you're beautiful, I just
(02:41):
mean an overall just like you have this beautiful presence
about you when you enter a room, and I think
like for me, when I say climbing in heels, it
doesn't mean heels. It just means that you are embracing
being a woman, embracing your femininity, but really owning your
strength and your super powers. But I always like to
(03:02):
really go back, just in touch on the start, because
I think it's so important for me just to know, like,
who on earth were you as a kid? Like who
what kind of little girl were you? Were you like ambitious?
Were your dream or were you dancing? Were you in
the center of the room, were you in the back
of the room, What kind of child were you? And
(03:22):
do you feel like you're that same person? Well, first
of all, thank you. I feeling the one thing I'm
learning to do in life is just like let things
come in and take things in and thank you for
It's hard, right, It's hard, right, Yeah, no, it is.
It's so interesting because I think we're so hard on
ourselves and to just give yes a moment when someone is,
(03:46):
you know, praising you, I think it's it's really important.
So thank you. I'm so honored to be here, and
I'm very unbiased. I also want to say that I
am so unbiased. You came into my life. I think
over the pandemic, I saw you, I realized that we
kind of knew some of the same people. But I
was very very drawn to your like, you know, for
(04:09):
lack of sounding very la because I'm in New York
or at heart for life, your energy, like I just
felt it, and in the pandemic, I think it was
sort of like that was all we had, right so
I just felt like, Okay, she's who She's who I need.
She's the vibe that I'm that I need right now.
And then we just became ins to friends and then
all the time we got to me together. So we
(04:31):
thank social media for these things. Well, I've like secretly
manifested you into my life, Rachel, I've been eyeing you
for years. It's you know, it's so funny having you
asked me about my childhood. I actually was home this
past weekend and whenever I go home, I always drive
by the house that I grew up in, and I
(04:53):
think it's just such a moment of perspective and to
really take it back to, you know, the seven year
old girl that moved into that house, and I was
like looking up at the window that was my room
I shared with you know, I have four sisters. I
have your four sisters. Yeah, I have a lot of siblings.
(05:16):
Four sisters, and how many brothers? One brother? One brother?
So you're one of six. Wait, yes, you're one of six.
Wow Okay, I know, wow, Okay. So you know, we
grew up in this tiny little house, my sisters and
I and I was like a mini a little mom.
(05:38):
You know, my mom was a single mother. My parents
got a divorce when I was young, and I, you know,
I was like, when I think back to my childhood,
it was a tough childhood. You know. I was just
like always trying to do anything and everything that I
could to help my mom so that my mom want
(06:00):
to come home and be stressed and you know, unhappy
with the house being dirty, and I was really bossy.
And my sister I could say that, were you the oldest?
Are you the oldest? I'm the middle the middle five? Okay, interesting, no,
because normally it's the oldest one that kind of takes
(06:21):
on that mom role. And something I want to mention too,
and I don't want to interrupt you, but one of
the common threads on this podcast is how many of
these superwomen come from single moms. A lot a lot,
and I think you take a lot from that. Absolutely.
I mean I even like the relationship that I've built
(06:44):
with my mother. Now I'm like, how did you do it?
I'm like, no, wonder why everything was always a little
stressed out. It was like, you know, my mom was
doing everything that she could to make ends meet, and
my father too. I you know, I saw my dad
on the weekends. But yeah, I was. I really was
a worker since the moment I remember. It was like
(07:08):
even if I wasn't getting paid, I was like working
in the house. I was doing the dishes, I was
cleaning up. I was just always a doer, and as
the second I was able to get a job, I did.
And it's just I think, you know, for me, it
was I was just always looking to do anything and
(07:29):
everything that I could to help, even like provide for
my sisters, Like I would buy supplies for my sisters.
I would like give my sister her quarter for our
like quarter lunch that I was like so embarrassed about then.
But now when I go home, I'm able to like
really reflect and be like, wow, I can't believe that
(07:50):
I was able to move through all of these challenges
and the way that we were brought up and now
I live in New York City. It's just and where
was this? So where was this? You grew up? I
grew up in Sarahcuse, New York, got it? Okay, Okay,
So that's crazy because well I say that in a
(08:11):
way that now as an adult, I'm sure as you said,
it's like, first of all, my sister's been a single
mom for seventeen years. Her kids are now in their
twenty So I love your sister, thank you, me too.
I'm obsessed with her. But I have to say, there's
no harder job, Like I have to say, no matter what.
But when you take that and say you had five
(08:34):
siblings and a single mom, and you took on that
role at like a very young age, and you know,
my mother had that role as well. My mom said
I didn't have a childhood. My mom was like I
was taking care of my sister since I was ten
years old, Like my parents went to work and I
was the parent. And so but what's interesting is that
(08:55):
it's like I hate to be that cliche of like
something good comes out of everything bad and hard, but
that's hugely responsible for who you are today, right, And
I think that put in you. I'm not expecting anything.
I'm going to get it myself. This is my work ethic.
You have to work hard in life like those things
are things that really can't be taught. I have to
tell you, Oh, I know right, I can't be. I
(09:21):
wish we could. No, my friend, you are you aren't.
It's in you or it's not. I wish I could be.
But it's interesting and so okay. So what about And
again I want to preface this by saying, in no
way does it define you, but I think it's important
to talk about what your education. So did you graduate
(09:44):
high school? Did you go to college? Like? What happened?
Because I've by the way, sixty percent of the women
that I've been on did not go to college. And no,
I'm barely high school. No, I'm so happy to talk
about this because I never thought I was smart growing up.
It is always like even moving to New York, it
was just like it's always been the one thing that
(10:05):
I have felt a lot of shame around. And I
think a lot of that is society. Yes, that you know,
the second you meet people, usually one of the first
questions people you got a school to doing a school,
and like when you're at a dinner party with of
course you know, very successful people and you're like, well,
I didn't who went to Prig school, Who went to
this who went to this college? Who got to sure?
(10:27):
Of course? It was one thing that was really hard
for me when I moved to New York and I
did graduate high school. I struggled in school. I must
say that I was a bad student, But I think
when you grow up in a household that is literally
(10:47):
just trying to like survive. Yeah, like full blown survival
mode education. It's not really a priority in like checking
to see if homework is done. And not that my
parents didn't care. I really want to stress that, of course,
they had so much to worry about, and with so
many kids, it's like we kind of had to fend
(11:09):
for ourselves. And for me, the way to really get
by was like since I was very young, I feel
like one thing that I did without ever even realizing it,
but I see it now is I've always built strong
relationships in my life, and I always like somehow became
friends with like the smartest kids who would like help me,
(11:30):
you know, but like we would hang and like it
wasn't just it was really like we became friends, and
it is truly what got me by And I think
just being a really kind yeah child, like I was
always really kind and gracious and just I always asked
for help because I needed a lot of help and
(11:52):
school was really really hard for me. Like I'm lucky
that I graduated. Truly. I only laugh because I laugh
because not like funny laugh. I laugh because there's this
huge societal judgment about and it depends on where you
(12:14):
live and what you do, right, And I think, of course,
if you're a doctor, or you're a lawyer, or you're
this or that, assigned it whatever, go to school, go
to school, do an extra fifteen years of school after
you graduate college? Great, right, godspeed. I wasn't that person.
I did well when I tried. I went to college,
I somehow graduated well. But like I have to tell you,
(12:37):
I don't think those stigmas are going to exist for
that much longer, because I really think I have two
friends that just spoke at Harvard Business School, tremendously successful businesses,
they barely graduated high school. They spoke about it very
honestly and to your point. The reason I think it's
important to talk about is because I really stand by
(12:58):
the fact that your education no way defines you, It
no way determines your future and success. I think that
intelligence has a hundred different ways to measure it. I
think as women, I always felt dumb. I always felt
dumb in fact. In fact, I grew up in a
town where you know, everyone went to ivy leagues. My parents,
(13:19):
friends kids all went to Ivy League schools. And I
kept looking at my parents like, oh god, you know
my parents didn't care. They didn't put that on me,
thank god. But I have to say, I just remember
my mom's best friend saying to me, Rachel, don't be confused.
This is not a measure of your intelligence at all.
You're smarter than any of those people that are going
(13:41):
to those schools. I know it because my son's going
to I'm telling you, I don't worry about you. And
this was when I was like seventeen, and I was like,
she'll know what she's talking about. It was like sobbing.
So I think to your point, we all are smart
in different ways, right, and I think clearly it has
not impacted did your life, your journey? I think it
(14:04):
does impact our security, right like our confidence in who
we are. Oh yeah, and I think we have to
break and you have to break. And I think there's
this huge conversation now happening, especially with women, talking very
loudly about it's not the path for everybody, right, it's
not and it doesn't have to be and there shouldn't
(14:25):
be a stigma around it. And I think, I mean,
you're clearly evidence of that and so many others and
so but I do think that it is this hard
moment when you're in that conversation of what school did
you go to? Because even still I still have people,
I mean, I'm like a hundred and someone says, what
school did you go to? Why are you asking me? That?
(14:47):
That's such a weird question, like an asset in job interviews.
You know, it's just so funny, common wild, and it's
what's so crazy is like, so I did. I went
to a community college right near syracuseon. I did graduate
with an associate's degree, which still shocked. You know, it
was really hard, but that's amazing to do that. But
(15:10):
I you know, I always felt like a bit of
an outsider because everyone went away to school. I didn't
even apply to school, Like we didn't even walk through
that process, and you know, now to have a case
study where like Harvard Business School wrote a case study
on my business and I'll never forget when I had
(15:32):
the call with the professors and I cried. I was like,
you don't understand, Like I never thought it was smart.
And to have a school like Harvard recognize something that
I had built is just like it's such a moment
for all the young boys and girls out there to
(15:54):
know that there is a place for you, like no
matter if you no matter how you do it exactly,
and if if you don't know in this moment, because
I didn't know for really lock time, I didn't know
my strengths. I didn't even know how to discover my strengths.
And you know, I'm happy to share a lot of
that too, But there really is, I think, something for
(16:17):
us all for us to tap into, and it's just
discovered in so many different ways and it's like how beautiful. Right, Well,
so at what point did you so you moved to
New York? Whatever you I knew, Noah, of course in
my old life right and my old like fun. I
love New York life the best decade of my life,
(16:40):
of course, not counting the one with my kids, but
definitely that was that was a ride of New York
City being its absolute best self. But like, how did
you meet Noah? How did that start? You're now this
mom with these gorgeous young children climbing all over your
head and your body while you're trying to make a
(17:01):
green juice, maybe while you're like it's all happening, and
somehow you've created this movement quite literally that appeals to
really everyone on some level, because it's almost like I
feel like you like saw me, Like I feel like
you were trying to be like, hey, everyone, if you
(17:23):
move for ten minutes, this is a game changing moment.
You don't have to do two hours a day, you
don't have to commit your whole life to exercise. And
you really do speak very strongly about the mind and
the body and how connected they are, and I think,
(17:43):
quite candidly, I think one of the things I find
most endearing about you is that you really talk about
your own and your own struggles and like, I'm having
a rough day. I was like having a panic attack
this morning, and I did this and now I'm like
I'm breathing right, And I think that's so many of
us do that every day, right, So what was the
(18:05):
impetus for this? Because I think what I'm hearing, what
I'm seeing, and you know, this is where my psych
major moments come in. But like, you're a survivor. Honestly,
like you're a survivor, and I think it's like you're
this beautiful, chic, elegant, badass mom, superwoman, all these things.
(18:26):
But ultimately, you really started young as a survivor. And
I think I'm going to argue and say that really
is the impetus for how you live your life now.
But I think my guess is you're probably trying to
figure out how to process it, take it and enjoy it,
recognize it, and live it right and not feel like
(18:47):
like a hamster on a wheel. Right. No, definitely, I
mean I feel like I've been trying to get off
that wheel, and to be honest with you, for the
first time in my life, I haven't been feeling anxious
and that was my baseline for most of my life.
And now at forty years old, I'm like, oh wait,
(19:09):
Like I don't need to live my life like there's
a tiger freaking chasing me throughout my entire day. Every day,
no matter what is going on. So you know, a
lot of what has gotten me to this place right
here is years ago when I started this business, and
I really have to share this. You guess, I had
(19:29):
no idea what I was doing. I didn't think in
my mind I was starting a business. I just was.
I was trying to heal myself. I was really trying
to change my relationship with myself because I didn't like
myself at this time when I like really was stepping
(19:50):
on them at was battling overcoming in eating disorder. I
had cystic acne all over my face, down my neck,
my back. I looked in the mirror and I only
saw the things that I hated. I didn't love myself.
I didn't treat myself with love. And how old were
you then, massa out like just to get like a
(20:11):
time frame, I mean, I was in my I was
in my early thirties, and I was with Noah, which
I'll bring that because that was a really important shift
in it all too. But for me, it was like
when I finally, for the first time in my life,
was no longer running from myself, and I was no
(20:33):
longer running from my upbringing or the traumas that were
literally just making me live in utter fear. I started
to get a little comfortable, like sharing the real shift,
like look at the things that I was trying to mask.
I never in my like growing up, I didn't want
(20:56):
anyone to know, like anything that was going on. I
did anything and everything that I could to make things
feel normal. And it was really hard. It's so hard
wearing that mask for so many years and was living
a lie. It's a lie which is exhausting and paralyzing.
It's exhausting. And I finally was like, actually, this is me.
(21:22):
Suffer from anxiety. I have a horrible relationship with myself,
which has transmuted itself into a horrible relationship with food.
And I solely started getting comfortable sharing it. And a
lot of the reason why I did is because I
was with someone in my life who gave me a
sense of I don't even like to say it's it
(21:45):
wasn't even security, no of safety, safe haven of love
and support. And I mean I used to cry to
him and like he would get up in the morning,
he would like jump out of bed, he was so
happy and enthusiastic for his day, and I'd be like,
you know, I didn't love what I was doing. I
(22:07):
was so down. I would literally sleep until the moment
I had to like run out the door and get ready.
And I would like beg him to tell me, like
how do I find my thing? How do And he
was like, you just have to pay attention to the
things that like get you going, and like I say it,
(22:27):
like the things that like light you up. Like for me,
it's the simplest things that bring me back to this
peaceful place within myself that moves me away from the
anxious cycle of living on the hamster wheel. And he
really taught me how to focus my energy. I did
not know how to do that before could How could
(22:48):
you saying? That's what I'm saying. You're a born hustler.
I have the hustle in my bones, but I think
sometimes you can hustle yourself to a point where you're
just it's just nothing is fulfilling. Of course, well you
can't feel it. You're never stopping to actually feel it, right,
Like you're just going, Yeah, that's why I'm saying. It's
(23:10):
like survival. It's just you're just going, You're like this day,
this day, this day. It's not it's not about money.
It's just sort of like it's just that constant feeling
of Okay, what's next. I don't even know what I'm doing. Okay, great, Okay,
I'm doing this. It's like moving through life in a
way that you're actually kind of numb, right, you don't
actually feel what's happening. And I think, yeah, this sounds
like you centered and woke up and was like okay, okay,
(23:36):
this isn't or I guessed at all. Yeah, I faced it,
and I faced it surprisingly enough with the camera on me,
because it's so interesting because like I mean, I shared
on social media before I ever even shared with like
the fostest people in my life that had an eating disorder,
and for me, I found this comfort in the online
(23:59):
community that I was building because I felt like there
was I mean we're talking like back before, yeah, ten
thousand followers, but it was like there was this like
together togetherness and like this release of judgment where I
was so afraid to tell the people of course knew
me and I was hiding something from them, and it
(24:19):
really sparked this like wow, I can connect with someone
in like in South Africa or Australia and like in
my living room, Like it was really interesting and well,
you like you shared your vulnerabilities. And I think there's
this whole thing on Instagram, which you know you've talked about,
we've probably all talked about, where there's this image of
(24:40):
perfection and everyone that they see and we all know
that's not real, right, Like we know that's not real.
So I think by you doing that and it resonating
with so many people, I think that's what really started
to make people really want to be part of your
world because you were like they were like, here's this
(25:01):
beautiful person. She lives in a beautiful she's in New
York City, she's doing this, she has he saying whatever
it is. And you're like, hey, like I'm a mess too,
Like yeah, right, I mean we all are, literally we
all are. That's a thing, but like, no, not everyone
talks about it, right yeah. And I mean for me,
(25:23):
it was also like starting to see myself differently and
I literally learned to love myself fully on the map,
and I would like, you know, I read all these
books like Louise Hayes How to Heal Your Life and
Maryann Williamson's Returned to Love and those books really did
(25:47):
help me and my practice be able to look at
myself in the mirror and see that younger version of
myself who was literally just wanted more love then now,
and being able to provide myself with that instead of
externally looking for it in all the wrong places. For
the first time, I have transformed into a completely different
(26:11):
version of myself, and I really understood, and I still
understand today because it's still it's like we're just continuously
peeling back these layers, and I'm like, I like myself
even more now, Like it's and it really is something
that I truly wanted to share with other people because
(26:32):
I felt like possible for me. I know it's possible
for anyone out there who really wants it, yeah, and
who really wants to live their life in this place.
Every genesis is a reminder to try something new, to
keep growing, keep puzzling, keep beginning. A genesis they harness
(26:54):
that mindset into their performance SUV. The GV seventy discover
intuitive technology inside the GV seventy with a fourteen point
five infotament system. The Genesis GV seventy is for those
who are making their mark on the world and want
to enjoy luxurious amenities while they do it. I used
to dread driving around LA because of the traffic, the
(27:15):
stop and go, the blaring sun always getting directly into
my eyes no matter what time of day it is.
But thanks to Genesis and the GV seventy, driving around
here isn't too bad, especially when I'm driving in style
turnheads with the stunning design of the GV seventy. Inside
and out, the GV seventy features the silhouette of a
coup and the capability of an SUV. So go on
(27:37):
and enjoy an exhilarating drive in the GV seventy. Your
Genesis GV seventy is waiting for you. Learn more at
Genesis dot com Genesis Keep Beginning. Everyone knows that nothing
brings your day or week to a halt like getting
sick or just not feeling well. When you find the
right doctor, you can feel it, You feel heard under ease.
(28:00):
There's nothing worse than going to a doctor's appointment expecting
to be the center of attention, and then your doctor
basically seems like they have better things to do in
better places to be like, doesn't care at all. On
zoc doc, you'll find quality doctors who focus on you,
listen to you, and prioritize your care. Zok doc is
the only free app that lets you find and book
(28:21):
doctors who are patient reviewed, take your insurance, are available
when you need them, and treat almost every condition under
the sun. No more doctor roulette or scouring the internet
for questionable reviews. With zoc doc, you have a trusted
guide to connect you to your favorite doctor you haven't
even met yet. Millions of people use zoc docs free
(28:41):
app to find and book a doctor in their neighborhood
who is patient reviewed and fits their needs and schedule
just right. Go to zodc dot com slash zoe and
download the zoc doc app for free. Then find and
book a top rated doctor today. Many are available within
twenty four hours. That's zoc doc dot com, slash zoe,
(29:08):
zoc doc dot com slash zoe. It's funny because I
think you talk about it, and I think something you're
also very candid about is sometimes it's a lot, and
even with your kids or like this is freaking rough
and insane sometimes like and you're like help, Like You're
like I'm trying to be patient and I'm losing my mind,
(29:30):
and I think those things are things that everybody deals
with but nobody talks about, right. And I think that
you demystified the sort of like image of perfection based
on what people see or think that they see, right.
And I think you humanized the journey and how hard
(29:54):
it is and your struggles with it. And I think
that really ultimately helped hill you in a lot of ways,
and probably continues to do that because I imagine you
get so much feedback in real time, Like I imagine
everybody's just like, thank you for doing that, thank you
for posting that. Like to sometimes you'll you'll like post
something and I'll be like, oh my god, me too.
I had a full panic attack this morning, you know,
(30:17):
you know, but I literally did right before this. Not
a panic could tell you, but a moment in a moment,
Oh god, yes. And then learning also that I'm running
a business and to be able to see the stuff
when it's coming up. Now I'm able to see it.
Before I would just be so swallowed by it, but
now I'm able to be like, Okay, I'm feeling super bothered,
(30:39):
really irritated today. However, I have a podcast and a
live so we're going to take the thing and we're
just gonna shift it to the side because I am safe.
I am okay, this is going like everything's going to
be fine. I can come back to that, and I
think that is something that business has really taught me,
(30:59):
not to allow everything to just like knock you off.
You can't you literally can't you still be on the
floor all day, oh literally all day long. But it
is going back to the feedback. It's the it's like
the never ending feedback that just like it fills my soul,
(31:20):
it really truly does, and it has me doing things
in my life I never in a million years thought
I would be doing because I feel so supported and
just like this is just the beginning. Because you know,
I think when you really experience this impact that you're
you've not only made within yourself, but to help anyone
(31:42):
else along the way, it's so powerful and it keeps
you Like now I jump out of bed in the morning.
You know, I also have a beautiful family and children
that I'm so in love with that it's just changed
every aspect of my life. But well, I want to
talk about this safety because I use that word a lot,
and I it's one of those things where a friend
(32:02):
of mine was you know, I have a lot of
people in my life looking for their person, right, and
they say I need my person, and you know, I
always say, you need your safe person, right, And you're
safe person because that person, whether it's a husband, whether
it's your sister, whether it's your best friend, you're safe people.
(32:23):
That's the healing process, right, because where you go, where
you feel safe, that's when you're going to be yourself, right,
That's where you're going to let it all down. And
I think that this process for you, I mean clearly
forties for you, this is like your best life, right,
This is but you. But you manifested it, you worked
(32:44):
for it. It has been hard. But I also think
that I think that probably your young self, all you
were really looking for was probably safety, right because ultimately
that's what you dream for, right. You just dream for
like going to sleep at night, feeling like you're safe,
like your mom and your dad in your house, whatever
it is. You just want to feel safe. Right. Oh yeah,
(33:05):
And now I think you've created that in every possible way.
And I want to touch on something that when I
met you, you mentioned it and I looked at you
like you were an alien because I was like, what
we were somewhere? I think at Paris's wedding, right, I think,
and I turn around in this like tall gorgeous person
(33:27):
with this body. I cannot but clearly you work for
fair enough genetically blast but also work for it very hard.
But I was like, let's get a drink. You're like, oh,
I stopped drinking, but I'll get something. And I was
like wait what like wait what so that's fairly recent
right like two years? Three years? It's been over three years. Wow, Okay,
(33:47):
So I do want to talk about that because I've
never been like a big drinker, but I am someone
that's like, I don't drink at home, like I have
certain rules around it, but when I go out, I
mean one hundred percent, I want a glass of wine.
I want. But I want to know what took you there,
because clearly it's working and it's I think made you
even clearer and safer and happier and more peaceful. But
(34:11):
tell me about that, absolutely. Well. It was so interesting
because this was it was a month before my birthday.
I'm going to take you guys back to It was
November twenty nineteen, and after every meditation practice. I would
just have these I mean, it's really crazy what happens
(34:32):
when you have a consistent practice. And that's why I
am so passionate about it, because I'm like, you don't
understand I was not this person right sure, I'm telling
you right now. And I can also revert back to
wear one real quick if I don't sure stay you
know which. By the way, I love that part of
myself too, like don't mess with me. It's good to
(34:53):
have it in there when you need to access it,
but I prefer to be more grounded or not completely fiery.
But after every meditation, I would literally feel this kind
of like intuitive feeling of like get clear, I get clear.
I was just about to launch my app. Had a
(35:16):
few websites at this point, but I was relaunching like
a brand new website with an app. I had never
had an app before, so I just kept thinking, Okay,
it's time to get clear. I'm launching the app. It's time,
you know, like, and I just instead of One thing
I've learned to do is when you hear those calls,
because we all hear them, usually they're whispers and then
(35:39):
they turn into cries sometimes when it gets to the
point where you're just like not listening. And then a
lot of the time, I think that is when certain
things happen in people's lives because they didn't listen to
that like strong, intuitive knowing or feeling. So I just
said to myself, I was like, you know what. And
it was funny, as I had like drunk the night
(36:01):
before and I wasn't feeling great and I'm talking like
a couple of drinks yea, as I had built a
mindful of relationship with alcohol. But I was like, I
am just going to take the next thirty days to
get crystal clear with myself. I'm you know, my birthday's
coming up. So I took those thirty days, and the
thirty days turned into sixty days and ninety days. And
(36:23):
the reason why is because I liked the way that
I felt. I just felt this overall clarity. I felt
a reduction of anxiety, which for me was like a
major culprit for even just trying life without alcohol. Plus, listen,
I'm a product of alcoholics. You know, alcoholism runs in
(36:44):
the bloodline. So I'm strong. That's a strong one. Yeah.
And I've always been able to recognize like my own
addictive personality with whatever it is, so yeah, it just
turned into this thing. And then the pandemic hit and
it was like it was so crazy because I was like,
all this time, I thought it was like the app
(37:05):
and like, I don't. I mean, I know, people it
can sound crazy, but now I look back and I'm like, no,
Like I was like getting prepared for something that no
one could be freaking prepared for. But there was just
this I don't know. Instead of like living in the force,
I was like leaning into the flow of what I
was feeling, which is how I do everything. I have
(37:27):
to feel that way, and the most unfortunate time in
the world, I was mentally prepared for how to handle
something that I don't know that I would have been
able to handle it the way that I did because
I wasn't drinking. And you know, it was a massive
(37:50):
silver lining to be able to be like set up
in a place digitally where I was able to share
this work with so many people when we needed it
most one like one hundred percent. And I think it's
wild because I think so many businesses didn't survive in
(38:12):
the pandemic because they didn't know how to be And
I think that in that moment again, that's when I
saw you and I just was like, yes, she one
hundred percent this is who we need. And I'm not
someone that's a big exerciser. I'm not someone that meditates.
I'm not the person. But I was like, I get her,
(38:35):
like I get her. She sees all of us. She's
nutty like all of us, she owns her nuttiness like
all of us. Like, oh, yeah, it's different. And I think,
but I think not drinking does provide clarity. And what
I do want to point out is what I've realized recently,
and I said this to Roger, I cannot believe how
(38:57):
many friends I have I've discovered over the last a
few months that are sober since the pandemic, became sober
after the pandemic, Because like, if you didn't do that
just before the pandemic, that could have gone another way, right,
because everyone, sure, everyone that was prone to drinking went
(39:22):
so excessively in the pandemic. Everyone I know, honestly, I know,
and so obviously you saw something without knowing that you
saw something. I know it's in like even today, I'm like,
it's been over three years. I was at dinner last
night with my girlfriend who hasn't drunk and nineteen years
(39:42):
I used to I literally told her, I'm like, I
used to think like there was no way your life
was fun. I actually was like, how is she doing anything?
And what I've learned to really understand through this process
is like I actually enjoy my life and everything in
front of me in such a bigger way. And it's
(40:05):
and by the way, I also have zero judgment for people,
like if you choose to drink or do your thing.
I do, however, have something to say where it's just
become this massive norm on social media to really glamorize
and just broadcast the hangovers and this, and I just
(40:25):
think it's important for these younger generations to know like
there's actually there's a different way, and like there is
a movement towards living life like with more of a
clear head and a clear mind, and like that's also
very cool. Like it's really freaking cool to wake up
feeling good on a Saturday and a Sunday. I have
(40:45):
to tell you, enjoying the whole damn day. There ain't
nothing cooler than that. By the way, especially with two
very young children, I don't care what you did the
night before, and how much fun you had and how
shitting you exactly That's what's really kept me going. And
I always say too, I'm like, I could choose to
(41:07):
have a drink tomorrow. I don't know. I just know,
great now this is working, this is really supporting me,
and it's yeah, I'm able to manage things differently. I'm
more calm, which god I know I need. I need.
But wait, so, okay, so you're living your wildest dreams
(41:27):
right now beyond right. I mean, correct me if I'm wrong.
I know that, But this is what I think. I
actually think that you haven't even scratched the surface of
what is to come. And I it's like, even just
knowing you for a few years, it's like you have
so much that you're going to do still. But I think,
(41:51):
I think what I would love to know is sort
of like, what is your dream? Like? What I mean,
I'm someone that doesn't overplan my life, right, so I
don't I don't set those in two and twenty five
I'm doing that either, But what's your like mindset now
as you sit here? Are you able to enjoy where
(42:11):
you are? Or you like, oh my god, what's that
I'm doing this. This is no that's I think it's
so important to really sit with this conversation because we're
always looking and having you asked me my living my
wildest dreams. I am living be on my wildest dreams
(42:32):
at this moment, and yes, like I love what I do,
I really truly love it. I love my life. I
love this simplicity of the days where I don't have
the trips planned and the things to do. I just
like the way that I live my life. I'm really
proud of how I show up, of how I treat myself,
(42:54):
of how I treat everyone in my life. And while
I feel so good, I have so many things that
I desire and like that's what I really pulled on
to it like that, I'm like, I have deep, deep
desires of really stepping in as a thought leader and
(43:18):
a motivational speaker in an even bigger way and really
just spreading this message as far and as wide as
I possibly can, with as many people as I can.
Because what I think about is like I think of
my seven year old self looking out that window of
like the tiny little house that I grew up in,
and then crying out the window and feeling like nothing
(43:40):
in life as possible. I truly thought some people were lucky.
Nothing came easy, and I'm not saying that it doesn't
come before that I'm not lucky. I recognize my privilege
and my luck. However, I believe that when you align
your action to support the life that you want for yourself,
(44:04):
beyond that sky is the limit. And I am living
proof of that. And I just I'm really excited. I'm
excited to write my book. I'm excited to me we
have a series one day, you know, I'm really excited
about the endless possibilities. But I'm really present with what's
in front of me, and I don't lose sight of
(44:25):
like what has me here. And the most important thing
is always like giving back to my members, my community
that started this all, and that's truly what has been
my focus for these past handful of years. It continues
to be, is like, how can we improve everything that
we've built? How can we continue giving more, providing more value?
(44:47):
And I think living in that way is where it
just opens the doors and that life synchronicities just start
to connect in the most unexpected of ways because you're
truly living in the f and I have to live
in the flow. As soon as something feels out of
a linement or force for me, I know I can't
do it because I think so many people pay attention
(45:12):
to like what's going on? What is everybody else doing?
The trends, the things, and they lose sight of themselves. Yes,
you have to stay authentic to like like what has
me here? Like I'm so you know, it's like really
honing in on your authentic voice and not trying to
be and do what everybody else is doing. There's space
(45:32):
for everybody. Oh yeah, there is space for everybody. And
not everybody's going to love you and that's okay. That's
why there's space for everybody. That's a big learning too.
God have you and I imagine the answer is yes
to this? And I don't ask everyone this question, but
I definitely would want to ask you this. I personally
experienced this throughout my entire career even still today. But
(45:56):
have you had people in your life who wanted to
see you fail, who wanted to kick you down, who
wanted to have you canceled before canceling was a thing?
Is there? Have you let the haters in? And is
that was that part of your struggle to get to
your place that you're now like or did you have
(46:16):
people that were like Melissa, you got that? Like who
was I think one part of the question is have
you had those people that try to knock you down?
And conversely, did you have one person that was like,
you got this? I know you got this go, I'm
going to help you. I'm gonna I'm gonna be your
(46:37):
cheerleader because you don't have one, right like, who was
that person? If there was one? I mean, you know,
I'm so lucky to have married like my mentor like
Noah's just he has taught me so much about life
in business and even just in our relationship. And it's
(47:01):
interesting He's he's such a sound word for me, but
we're also so different and which the businesses which are
so different. So while you know, I'll go to him
and just I always say, he gives me like the
one thing that like money cannot buy, and that's just
the most incredible advice. He gives great advice, he has
(47:23):
amazing experiences. However, I don't always take his advice and
really listen to myself. And I have, without a doubt,
had those people in my life. Who unfortunately, you know,
it's like they can latch on because they're really good
(47:45):
at that. But I have a really strong sense and
as soon as I before, I've always had a really strong,
like intuitive sense since I was really really little. Same
but didn't you let them in any way? I did too.
I did. And then when I get to the point
(48:05):
of like I see it, Yeah, I really like I
detach with love same same. It's like red flag warnings. Yeah,
And sometimes it takes a few times, but for me,
I've really gotten into the place of no longer feeling
like I need to give myself to everyone that my
time is so precious. That's like the most precious thing
(48:27):
we all have is like our time where you choose
suspend it. And I have gotten really good with my
nose like crystal clear, and I don't feel that and
I don't give big explanations like I used to. Good.
I think that's again I want to talk about that
because I think that's a lot of the I think
(48:48):
that's a lot of turning forty. I don't put it
as an age, I just mean in that space because
my dad taught me as a serial entrepreneur, my dad
always taught me that confidence comes with experience, because my
twenty something self just working twenty four seven for fifteen
years straight. My dad used to I used to be like, Dad,
when am I going to stop like getting nervous on
(49:10):
every shoot that I walk into as if it's my
last job, right? And my dad would always say, confidence
only comes with experience. It just only comes with experience.
And it's true. And I think that's life too, where
forty becomes this different game, it's a different playing field,
and it's like, Nope, I have this much time and
(49:31):
these are this is what's allowed in it, right, right,
And you lose some of that guilt, right, you lose
some of that guilt about walking away from a situation
or a person who's toxic or whatever. And so okay,
So Noah, I do want to touch on Noah because
you know, I've known him for so many years, but
I want to say that I think one of the
(49:53):
beautiful things about Noah is he's like on top of
his game, and like how long has he'd been doing
what he does? Right? I mean, Noah is one of
the original club restaurants. I mean, he's like a master
at what he does, and so many of the people
(50:16):
in that industry go like, aren't really high and then
they crash. He's just what twenty five years later, I
don't even know. Yeah, but around that and he's clear,
and he's kind, and he's smart, and he works so
freaking hard. But like, I also think to have him
as a safe person and mentor, let alone your husband
(50:39):
and father of your children is a beautiful thing. Oh
my god, it is. He's the best. But I also
think you are a fiery force of your own. And
be clear, I know who the boss is in that house.
But but I just want to say I love what
you're doing. I love what you do. I love that
(51:00):
you have created a space for so many women with
every background, with every upbringing, with every you know, every
different way that they choose to live their lives. And
I think you've made a very safe place to speak
freely about anxiety, about eating disorders, about struggles, about daily
(51:21):
life being terrifying and those moments. But also, I think
the most important thing without sounding really like you know, cliche,
but like learning to love yourself, because I do believe that.
You know, it's funny because I'll always call you Melissa
with health, Like I just won't because we all just
got called our Instagram names, but I do. It's so beyond.
(51:45):
It's funny because I think about your exercise and workout
and flow as so secondary to the brand. Weirdly, like,
I know that that's so important and that's why everybody
follows you like a cult leader a good way. But
but I think that you're overall message that you live
(52:06):
and preach and practice and talk about and show and
very candidly share your weaker moments I think has really
brought together this beautiful community, you know, And for someone
like me who doesn't really do that, nor do I
have a lot of actual time, I just found it
also compelling. And then obviously when I got to actually
(52:29):
meet you, I was like, oh my god, I already
love you, you know, So I just I really believe
in what you're doing. I really, I think so many
people do, and I think so many people are grateful
to you for it, and I'm just excited, honestly to
see what's next. I am or just or by the way,
if you just keep doing exactly what you're doing now,
that's also just enough. So you I'm so grateful that
(52:54):
I I'm really like I'm grateful every day that I
choose myself. I just keep choosing myself, and I keep
choosing to do things to strengthen not only my body,
And I think that's why a lot of people come
to mwage just because they want the strengthen their body.
But I think what has really kept our community growing
(53:16):
and thriving and no longer just surviving is that they
find the strength within themselves and their mind that they
never even knew as possible. And it's just the message
that I want to keep sharing because I just I
believe so strongly in it, and I believe that we
all have the power to do things beyond our wildest
(53:38):
dreams when we connect to our truest self and we
really learn to love ourselves. As like crazy as that sounds,
it's actually the hardest challenge I think in life from
a place it is, and when people give you compliments,
to accept it, to take things in and yeah, it's
(53:58):
a lot of learnings. I love the ride, I really do.
I love the journey. There's no final destination for me,
Like this is all just all encompassing. What you know
makes me has made me come to life in a
way that I never even knew was possible. Well, I
love it, and so does everybody. So I'm happy to
(54:22):
have you on because you are by far just one
of the best examples of climbing in heels, even though
you know you guys don't know Melissa, but she's like
five ten, so she's actually heels. But no, I'm five nine,
you guys, and I grew an inch from my workouts.
I was always five eight. Every modeling agency was like,
(54:42):
you're too short. This is like back fifteen years. Now
I'm five nine at forty so I grew stop it
where two? God crazy? If we need we needed another
We needed another reason. We needed another reason to look
as I said, as I start to say up straight,
you're making me straight back belly button and your posture
(55:06):
opens up. I love you madly. I love talking to you.
I can talk to you for four days, but I
do have to let you get back to your life.
I can't wait to see you. I hope to spend
a lot of time with you this summer. Yes, I'm
so excited to have a beautiful day. Thank you so
much for having me, Rachel. Love you madly. I love you, bye, sweets. Okay,
(55:31):
I just want to thank my friend Melissa for coming
on the podcast and talking about very candidly, very vulnerably
and just really honest about the struggles, the challenges and
the triumphs, which there are many throughout her life, and
how she very bravely has faced them and overcome them,
(55:53):
and how she has such incredible peace and confidence now,
but that she really maintains a very very strict practice
to sort of maintain her sense of calm and peace
and safety within her own life. She's truly just so impressive.
She's incredibly fierce and powerful. She is she likes to
(56:18):
say bossy, I like to say strong, but she's also
very very open and vulnerable and really honest with all
of us about her journey, the things she was ashamed of,
the things she was scared of, the things she struggled with,
and really talks about her very honest journey to get
(56:38):
where she is now. And quite frankly, I think this
is really just the beginning for her. And she's just amazing.
I love what she's built. I follow her, and I
think she's just extraordinary all around. If you want more
climbing and heels content, follow me on at Rachel's Oe
and at Climbing Heels Pod on Instagram for more updates
(57:01):
on upcoming guests, episodes, and of course, all things curetur.
I'll see you all next week.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.