Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:07):
Hi everyone, I'm Rachel Zoe and you're listening to you
climbing in heels for your weekly dose of glamour, inspiration
and fun. Okay, so life has been crazier even than usual, actually,
if that's possible. Not only is this time of year
when school's winding down and there's a million things on
the calendar, but I also just celebrated my first born
(00:29):
son's thirteenth birthday. I honestly cannot believe Skuy's old enough
to be a teenager technically, and I have to say
it was probably the most extraordinary and heart wrenching, emotionally
draining experience. And I would say being a mom is,
of course, my absolute most favorite job and favorite thing
I've ever done. So I wanted to share a little
(00:50):
bit with all of you about this big moment and
all the fields that go along with it, because I
feel like so many of you out there are going
through the same thing at different stage pages of your
children's lives. Happy Mother's Day, Oh thanks, honey, I say.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Belated, but soon I am only I am but a
fir mom. I am but a firm them nonetheless, not
that that's not challenging at times. It definitely can be okay.
So the title of this week's episode. You and I
have been talking about this for a while. I think
a lot of our listeners are most likely in the
same boat with you. There's a lot of kids that
(01:27):
are graduating. Whether you are a parent that's becoming an
empty nester and your child's going off to college that's
going to be brutal by the way that we're going
to medicate you for that, or your child has graduated
kindergarten or preschool and is moving on to that phase.
It's an emotional time for moms. And your sweet Sky
(01:48):
has turned thirteen. Yep. So I wanted to call this
episode where Did My Baby Go? Because we know so
much about you as a fashion authority, as a stylist,
as somebody who's in the public eye for your work
in fashion, your work in philanthropy, and you're pretty open
(02:10):
about sharing about your family and your children. You show
your kids on Instagram. Your kids are intertwined in everything
that you do, but you don't talk a lot about parenting,
right or the many emotions that come with being a mom.
And now you're the mom to a teenage son. So
(02:32):
I wanted to talk to you about that today, because again,
I think it's very relatable for a lot of listeners.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
You know, I get asked a lot of questions about
parenting and what it's like to parent boys. I think
because a lot of people even now still look at
me walking with my boys and are like, isn't it
weird to you that you don't have a daughter?
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (02:56):
And what's so interesting to me is only just this
year year did I find total peace with the fact
that I don't.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Yes. And I think I've been at peace with for you. Yes.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
By the way, my mother too, my mother, being the
mother of two girls, has always said to me, stop,
just stop, because your boys, You've got a good thing going. Yeah,
And she was like, you don't realize it yet, because
I was too busy like chasing them and like, you know,
chasing them to get clothes on, and trying to make
(03:30):
them not crack their heads open, and you know, all
the things which I'm finding, ironically enough, that i'm doing
again now because now I'm telling Skyler, like, don't even
sit on that bike or that skateboard or anything else,
that easy roller without a helmet. But I think what
I'm realizing is that the universe gives you exactly what
you're meant to have and supposed to have.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
And my boys are like, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
As I entered this sort of early teenage years, it's
all starting to make sense to me why I was given. Yes,
young little princes, young little men who look for me.
They do.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
They look after me. We're best friends.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
They don't have any resentment towards me because I'm trying
to make them wear, you know, a dress with a
train on a big day, and you know, they want
me to tie their ties and button their jackets. And
you know, even this mornings, guy's off from school and
he was going to a friend's house and he's like,
(04:34):
you didn't leave out my clothes, And I'm like, okay,
And then part of me is like, can't you put
it together? And then you put it together last week
and I was like, nope, let me do that for you.
The stylist is always stylish. Yeah, And you know, listen,
I think I think it's hard because this is the year,
and this is the time I think for so many
(04:55):
parents where they jump from being a kid to a
teen and I would argue that it's probably the hardest
time for parents I haven't hid it yet because I
think Sky is young for his age, for his grade.
A lot of his friends are almost a year older
than him, and so on a maturity level and an
(05:17):
intellectual level, he's fourteen, but his body's thirteen, yes, and
so I think he's still a lot very much a kid,
which quite frankly, I'm holding on to for dear life totally.
He still wants me to drive him to school, he
still wants to hang out with me. But he's incredibly social,
and I think the hardest thing for parents right now
is like on a Sunday when all you want to
(05:39):
do is lounge around your house and hang out with
your kids, and they're like, I want to go to
my friends. I want to go to my friends. My
friends are meeting here. And I think I remember that
so well, and I remember my parents taking me in
all these nice places, and all I would do is
sit there being like when can I leave? Right? When
can I leave? When can I go out with my friends?
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:57):
I just want to hang out with my friends. And
I think as a parent that's the most like heart
dagger in the heart, dagger in the heart feeling, because
you're like, what do you mean, we're a family, don't
you want to hang out with us?
Speaker 2 (06:10):
So, like, all I want to do is hang out
with you? Right, you just want to hang out with me? Right?
Speaker 1 (06:15):
And I think I'm at the tail end, I think
because this guy still really wants to hang out with us,
but also really wants to be with his friends. So
like we're in that moment. But I could see it.
I mean, it's definitely going to be it's going to
be a thing. We're going to switch, and you know,
I just I'm trying to find that balance. I think
as a parent of being like the cool mom they
(06:37):
want to hang out with and have their friends over,
and then still be the mom that can like be
an authority and discipline and you know, do you.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
And Roger a good cop? Bad cop?
Speaker 1 (06:50):
I feel like I'm always the bad cop. Really, I
feel like I'm always the bad cop. I mean, Roger's
a bit stronger when he gets mad, you know what
I mean. Yeah, he's definitely stronger when he gets mad.
But I would say I'm a bit more consistent, like
with rules and tone, and I do a lot of that.
(07:11):
I saw meme recently that made me laugh out loud,
where you like, are you this mom the one that
holds their arm and says, don't you dare and you
talk between your teeth and then you turn to like
the waiter and you're like, oh, hi, can I have
a cappuccino? So I think I'm definitely that mom, yes,
Whereas Roger has no care or awareness for who's around him,
and he'll just lose a shit if like if Skyler
(07:33):
like does something bad and I'm like, you can't do
that right?
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Well, but different parenting styles typically or what's best for
a kid, because you know, you get different things from
different parents, do you Is there something that Skyler has abandoned,
Like like a childhood thing he's abandoned that like makes
you sad, Like a routine thing, a school homework thing,
(07:59):
Like he's like he used to always do this and
he doesn't do that anymore.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Skyler's still, to me, the same silly kid that he's
always been. Yeah, he's still like, because.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
My nephew won't like climb in bed with my with
my brother and sister in law really.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Anymore, Skyler still will. But he would kill me for
saying that on this podcast, Like if he listened to
climbing and nails.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Yeah, so sky if you're listening, sorry, he still.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
But I have to say that my nephew's twenty seven
will also still like he's a cuddler. We're a family
of like warm people.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Definitely.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
I mean, I'm pretty sure Kaius is going to cuddle
us till he's till I'm gone. Yeah, like till I
am gone from the planet eyes. He's going to Laus
is what we used to call him.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Yes, he's attached to your body. Well, I want to
talk a little bit about the party that you threw
for Skyler, because it was a wedding, a wedding, it
was extraordinary. It was so much fun and it was
no one will ever forget. But it was also a
very sentimental and touching experience. So all of your family
(09:09):
travel to be there, all of Roger's family traveled to
be there, several friends traveled from out Oftown to be
at this celebarration, and it really was I feel like
knowing Skuyler, you know, twelve eleven of those thirteen years,
I'm so proud of him and how he carried himself
crushed it, how like strong he was and confident he was, and.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
He said he kept looking out at the audience, and
he was so nervous, even though he did not seem
at all over us. He just kept smiling. And I'm
starting to think maybe his smile is like his nerve, yes,
because it was the biggest smile I had ever seen
with him.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Can I also tell you something that I was like,
I was so pleased with myself because where I was
sitting during part of this party, I was towards the
front because I was obviously took a ver of every moment,
and Skyler kept like looking towards the side I was
sitting on and smiling, and I was like, oh my god,
he sees emmy, he sees me. He's so oh my god,
(10:11):
he's smiling. And then I heard like a little snicker
snicker or something, and I heard a giggle and I
heard it whatever, and I totally forgot.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
His friends were Skyler's entire friend group was behind me,
so he for sure was like.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Smiling and making little goofy faces that his friends, not
me at all.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Yes, he was.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
It's like when someone goes to high five you and
they're actually high fiving the person behind. Oh my god,
I was like, Auntie Burn.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Nope, I think he was looking right at you, like,
em are you so proud of me?
Speaker 2 (10:38):
I think there was like one moment where he was like, oh,
Emmy's still recording, Like I'll give her a smile. But no,
it was very funny because I was like, oh my god,
I'm such an idiot. Like his entire friend group is
sitting directly behind me.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
He said that he went to He said that he
looked at everyone in the audience as potatoes.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
So not we don't do their naked anymore, you say
their potato. For a thirteen year old to picture everyone
naked would be I think traumatizing, traumatizing and hilarious.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
I don't think I want to see everyone naked. That
absolutely never worked for me. No, I actually think that
would make me break down more on. So, I don't
know who ever thought of that there's potatoes as good.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
I guess there's some psychological thing of like, oh, if
people are naked, they're vulnerable too, so you can like
match the vulnerability of the audience you're speaking to.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
But like or if they're potatoes, then they all look
the same.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Yeah, I guess I don't know. I mean, I guess
it worked for Skyler. I'm done It definitely worked for
him because he was cool as a cucumber. Seemingly he
did such a beautiful job.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Beach was great.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
He gave the most lovely.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Speech, beautiful, so beautiful.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
I however, yeah, well let's get into that. So rewind
a little bit. Kaius also got up. Oh my god,
he was so Rachel's ten year old got up and
gave it a speech, and he was so well spoken.
He paced himself so great. Skyler Skyler Skyler. Yeah, that's
Kyia is his new thing. Rachel and I were saying,
(12:10):
we were laughing because he does the thing where when
he's gonna talk about Skyley goes Skyler Skyler Skyler, and
it's like it's like an old man say.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Like he's eighty five years old, Like what do I
even do with you?
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Like he's so overwhelmed with this, the amount of things
you can say.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Skyler calling out his brother in a speech and saying
like kai Is, You're my favorite person in the world. Yeah,
that made me die.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
It really is special and unique that you're raising two
boys pretty close in age.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Yeah, and they really are besties.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
They're obsessed. They missed each other when they're apart.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
That's so wonderful, wild and rare.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
I was not like that with my sister.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
And I feel like the age gap, like I feel
like parents think about this maybe when they're playing family,
they do about how much space we put between each child.
And I think you really did it correctly because they
do have very independent friend groups. They do they don't bleed,
which causes sometimes conflict and strength. Like my sister never
only a greater part. I can't even We shared a
lot of friends, so there's a lot of drama that
(13:15):
comes with that.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Some guy's friends deal with that, like his competitives that
are brothers can fight over friends.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Yeah, so I think also the age gap between Kius
and Skyler is like perfect. And I mean Kyus crushed
his speech. He was so cute and charming and he's
if you can picture him. He's in like a three
piece suit with like a black silk tie and his
hair is like perfectly cold. He literally looks like a
little Wall Street Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
And he hit his hand in his pocket. That's his
new thing. Yeah, hand in pocket, like when little boys
have their hand in their trouser pocket and they talk
to you, Like, all I see is this Like older
business man like, yeah, trying to talk to people and
I'm just sitting here like you have such swagger.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Right now, like, hell did my baby go? Yeah, we
have to also talk about I want to get into
your speech. But Roger crushed his speech, just Guyl like.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Roger gave one of the best speeches he's given in
the thirty two years that I know him. I think
that might have been in the top three.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
And he's had some real, real doozy speeches days. He
did an amazing one at your birthday party a few
years ago. He did a milestone birthday. He did an
amazing one for your parents seventy It was my parents
seventy five and eighty five and eighty. Yeah, so Rogers,
(14:36):
He's had a lot of high pressure family speeches in
his life. Really, this one probably the most important for him,
and he crushed it.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
I don't know how he did that.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
He was funny, he was emotional, he was.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Very serious about the right times. Yeah, serious at the
right times. Funny, yeah, it was all the things. I
don't know how he did it. Because I wrote something
at four am on the morning Earth because I don't
typically use a speech ever, I was just writing it
so that if I fell apart, I would have something
(15:11):
to fall on, right, which in hindsight really needed right
And oh god, I mean it was awful.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
This story goes back a little bit because I found
out about a week before this party that Rachel for
many years has been carrying a little bit of trauma
around speaking at this kind of event with evently with family,
(15:42):
and that she herself, when she was thirteen, was doing
the same type of speech and was so choked up
when she started talking about her relationship to her sister
Pamela that she got a knot in her throat, couldn't
finish the speech and had to tag Pamela in and
finish her speech.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
True story.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
So you have been carrying this, which is wild to me,
and it's anybody's psychological who knows you because you speak
publicly all the time we're on your podcast.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
I know I could speak in front of twenty thousand people.
I could speak. I think the most ever spoke in
front of was in Vegas at this thing. I think
you were with me, Emmi, where I've showed up at
this big thing to do a public.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Panel, like a convention.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Panel, and I think I thought it was like two
thousand people and it was like ten yeah, and I
was like it was massive, and I just remember doing
that and not being nervous and like yet there was
in front of like two hundred people and I literally.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Learn that part was like even more intimate.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
I couldn't so Rachel, I couldn't get it out, was
feeling emotional.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
She was with Roger and did did in fact tag Pamela,
and again I just I.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Read her speech to Skyler, I started crying. From the
minute I walked in the room. I had cried about
twelve times prior, so I think I was already like
I was already the very fine crystal glass that is
garathin and if you tap it it will break.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
I already was that.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
So I think once Skuyler started speaking with that big
smile and blue eyes, I just collide. It was done.
It's over, and that was the end of that story.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
What if you could pinpoint what makes you literally start
the waterworks, what makes you get the lump in the
throat and the eyes start to well up.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
I cannot believe my child is I can't believe that
that little baby that was like in my hand, that
changed my life and in reality, like my boys.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Arm my life.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Yeah, so I think that any parent knows there is
this like paralyzing, polarizing love that parents feel for their
children to a point where like you love them so
much it hurts. And I think my relationship with my
kids is so deep, and so I almost never fight
(18:25):
with them. They're such beautiful kids, Like they're such beautiful
little souls, and so what happens is when they say
these things to me, it almost makes you just break further. Right, So,
as beautiful as it is, I was already so emotional
not to mention all the things that went wrong leading
up to the event. So like, don't forget, thirty minutes
(18:45):
before I was going out there in front of everyone,
my dress wasn't at the hotel, it was at my house.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Guys, Rachel left her dress.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
I left my dress at the house. I also left
Skyler's bow tie. I left Kais took stylist to the stock.
I can't cannot style her family left her or herself
for that matter.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
No, I mean we were the emotions are definitely so
definitely right. I think I was fragile.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
I don't think I had slept in a couple of
weeks so I think I think the adrenaline, the emotion,
the fragility, the love, the my father, my mother getting
up and speaking. My parents are eighty three and almost
eighty seven, so like they had only ever wanted to
be here for my kid, first guy to turn thirteen.
(19:29):
So I feel like when they got up to speak,
I get so emotional there. So every single thing was
a pylon to how I was feeling, and I typically
can start speaking yes in this situation. I think after
Roger's speech and after Skyler, after Caius grabbed my hand
when he saw me welling up and said, crying is
(19:51):
not a sign of weakness. It's a sign that you've
been strong for too long. Oh my god, says my
profound ten year old says Aristotle says over Astotle, Well,
then I just cried more, and so I just h
It's almost like I had to just surrender rather than
standing up there trying to get a word out of
my body. I just I just yeah, it wouldn't come out.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Yeah, it would have stold everyone for much longer.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
I surrendered.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Yeah. Well, I think to touch on a part of
your speech too, I think for people who maybe don't
know you as well, talking about the importance that becoming
a mother that happened obviously with sky doubled down with Caius, like,
it really saved your life in a way and changed
the pace at which you were living that could have
(20:39):
ultimately been really really detrimental.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Percent Well, it was detrimental.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
And I think that you're already fighting vertigo. I mean
you your body was already going through an enormous amount
of ye breakdown from the schedule that you were keeping,
when you were styling, when you had the show, when
you were at every fitting, at every red carpet, and
then you you found out you were expecting Skylar, and
(21:04):
everything kind of halted. Laser focus. Well, I think I.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
Think what happens is sometimes like the universe makes a
decision for you that you wouldn't have made for yourself.
And that's probably the greatest lesson I've learned over my life,
over my professional life, over my personal life, quite frankly, Yeah,
that sometimes there's something that needs to be done that
you can't pull the trigger on. Yeah. And I think
(21:31):
my career was in such a high, highly regarded place,
highly the stakes were very high. I was making an
exorbitant amount of money. Yes, I was working with probably
the most famous people in the world, from Brad Pitt
to Cameron Diaz to you know, An Hath. I mean,
it just goes on and on. And I think there
(21:53):
was so much pressure on me to perform, quite like,
to be the best at what I was doing. And
QUIT think that I always put that pressure on myself.
That wasn't really someone saying you better be the best.
You know, but no one can really understand when you're
in these situations and people are paying you so much money.
(22:16):
There's so many big decision makers. You're working for the
most powerful people in the industry on all sides the
photographers that ultimately that balancing act without children is mental.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Right and it's too much without a family, correct.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
And I think for me, I was going at such
a fast pace that I don't it was just what
I was doing. It was a seven day a week,
it was twenty four hours a day. I was flying
all over the world. I wasn't sleeping. I think I'm
someone who I don't let people down ever, and that's
a big thing for me, and that can be detrimental.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
And I think I was like, yeah, yeah, I'm going
of kids I'm going of kids.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
I'm going of kids later next year, Extra next Dora
next year, and all of a sudden, you know, and
so yes, I got very sick. In two thousand and nine,
I got vertigo, which basically was like the most polarizing thing.
I was fainting and fitting so I was laying down
in cars. I couldn't sit in restaurants, I couldn't fly.
It was insane. And then later shortly after that, I
got pregnant with Sky and I didn't really skip a beat.
(23:21):
I just kept working. I even worked up until the
very end. I styled Anne Hathaway for when she hosted
the Oscars, and we did I think ten outfits plus
red carpet. I had bronchitis in a sinus infection. I
was doing like three weeks, I think something like that,
and it's just what had to be done. It wasn't
(23:44):
like it was I loved my job, I loved my clients,
but I think I just wasn't loving myself. I never
stopped to be like, hey, this may not be good
for you right now. You know, you maybe shouldn't do
this right, And I just kept doing it. And so
then I was like I don't kind of a baby.
I don't a time, a shower, And so I think
when I had Sky, you know, I think the love
(24:06):
for him and then Caius, I think that just flip
me upside down and backwards in every possible way. And
I think I think it immediately made my decision making clearer,
right and easier. And I think for a lot of parents,
I think that we're similar. I know, I personally have
(24:27):
probably a handful of girlfriends that were the same and
had kids, and you know, now they work from home,
now they take their kids.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
You know, it's like you figure it out.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
But I think, at least for me, I think about
what would have happened if I didn't become a mother, right,
and something bigger than me, yeah, like didn't take over,
Like what would it have been my priorities at my
heart and what I wanted to do and my perspective on.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Yeah, and like what are you working for?
Speaker 1 (24:56):
Like you know exactly.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
It's like I feel like it gives you such a
different outlook, like what you're building and you know who
you're doing it all for.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
And don't get me wrong, kids are soul sucking, like
financially draining, Yeah, exhausting, but yet the greatest love you'll
ever know. Yeah, the greatest love you will ever know.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
And that is why sometimes it's hard to give a
speech right exactly why.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
But I was upset with myself. I was really upset
with myself at the party because I was like, how
could you suck that bad?
Speaker 2 (25:29):
I know you were beating yourself up.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
I mean, how could I How could I not deliver
a speech at at my son's like permits.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Well, it's like know thyself and you knew you couldn't.
Like Rachel was practicing when she was in glam and
she got the fus out and she was like, even
do this, And I was like, if you can't do it,
it's gonna be fine. Like everyone there is close enough
to you, it knows you well enough. It goes like,
this isn't some shtick, This is really this is really
(25:58):
a situation where there won't be words coming out of
your mouth. And also like, she's not a girl a
few words. No, it's just not quiet someone who doesn't talk. No,
I've never, like, like you said, when have I ever
seen you speechless? Like never?
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Never? So never.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Yeah, But it was even though that was the case,
Pamela delivered your speech beautifully. Everyone was very touched. It
was great, funny, too amazing. And then it was party time.
And let me tell you, it was party. It was
a time central.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Yes, it was.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
It was so fun. I have not been around a
group of thirteen year olds in a long time or
in years. When I tell you the level of hype
I would describe they like, I mean, I I don't
like mash pit kind of culture.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Did you see them holding Sky over their heads? Yes,
that gave me a panic attack. I missed it.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
So I saw it on video. Gyler was crowdsurfing and
oh is that what that saying? Yeah, and like the
we're so excited. It's really it's fun to watch. It's
really fun to watch because they really let let the
person shine. I feel like they really made Sky I
feel really special. And it was just really energetic, Like
(27:15):
they have so much energy still, I'm like, oh my god,
please bottle it and share it with the rest of us.
So the thirteen year olds were like jumping up and down,
listening to hip hop and just vibing. I guess as
they would say. And then there's caius So at the party.
Rachel had the genius idea of having casino games.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
An led casino games led in the room.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
So a lot of the adults, I will say after
the cocktail hour were around the casino games. I won't
drop names, but a lot of the adults that Rachel's
friends with were like, very excited to see that there
was casino games. I don't think anyone expected for Caius
to spend the majority of the evening at a blackjack table.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
It's true he did.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Caius was learning the rules of blackjack at the age
of ten.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
Was I think he loved the roulette.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
He loved roulette, he loved I mean he literally there's
photos of Caius with aviator glasses on, by the way,
which is hilarious. By himself, he looks like he is
a professional poker player, or because he's in his suit,
he's wearing sunglasses and he's sitting at a blackjack table.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Truth, it was hilarious.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
He's the one.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
I mean, he's Roger.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
He's Roger. He's Roger. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Like they love numbers, they love they love that whole thing. Yeah,
they just love it. Like you would never find me
at a casino table. Yeah, I just like dance floor.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Yes, if I have money, I'm gonna keep it, you know,
not a gambler. And I also don't love numbers, so
like I'll like win one hand and be like I'm
walking away.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
By the way, I also don't win, right, I'm not.
I don't you feel like the luck isn't on your side.
I just I'm not that person. I'm the person that
doesn't have their dress thirty minutes before they wear it
they're supposed to wear it. Yep.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
That's more my jam yep. And Skyler's bow ties. Yeah,
also that can't forget that. What was your favorite part
about the party, the actual the like, the like dancing,
just the dancing.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
I think for me like looking around the room and
seeing all the people I love. Yeah, in my family,
my closest friends, the friends that have known sky since
he was born, you know who went through my journey
with me, who know my family well. And so for me,
I think that is the best thing because I find
you can be in the nicest place to have a party.
You can spend a gajillion dollars on an event, yep.
(29:43):
And if the love and the emotion isn't in the
room and the person is not adored then like it's
just another event and I feel like flat, yeah, falls flat,
and I think, like we left there and everybody I
got like a hundred texts the next night and day
just being like there was so much love in the room.
I cried the whole time. I danced the whole night
(30:04):
or I you know, just and for me, that's like
the win. I just want everyone to have the best time.
And that's when I relax. Yes, And everybody's like, when
are you going to breathe? I'm like, I'm going to
breathe when I see sky on stage with a mic
and having the time of his life, and I'm happy,
right And when I know that my dad is on
the dance floor, you know, and he's flirting with all
my girlfriends.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Ronnie loves to dance.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
He loves to dance, and he's almost eighty seven years old.
And god, Skyler was so nervous he was going to
get mashed in the mashpet Oh gosh, I know.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
I know. He's like, Mommy, watch Papa, Well, I saw
you nearly get trampled. Thank god Roger moved you just
in the nick of time. But Rachel almost got absolutely
not maliciously by any means. But a group of kids
were moving and Rachel almost got knocked over. That's also
why I don't go to concerts. Oh that makes sense.
That definitely makes me. You're a mash fit. It's never
(30:54):
a good thing, no, no, no. But the party was epic,
like you said, the love in the room was palpable,
and it was just a good, positive, joyful event.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
I'd love to hear everybody's questions about parenting and emotion
and how to deal with things, because I do find
when I do ask me anything on my social I
get so many parenting questions. Yeah, And I think, like
we're all navigating this together. And I will say this,
every kid is different, yes, and every parent is different,
and every relationship is different. But I do think we
(31:23):
all deal with the same things at different intervals, and
I think we.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
All have to, like we just have to stay together,
if that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
And I think, whether I know you or not, whether
it's our friends, whether it's our families, Like you know,
I think we're all trying to find that balance of
being our kid's best friends, being an authority, yes, being
a safe place yep, having them tell us everything.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
But then don't freak out.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Yes, you know, and sky so far still tells me
everything and I don't want that to change.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
But at the same time, like, at some.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Point he's not going to tell me everything right, and
that might be a okay, but like, but we have
to learn to trust.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Yeah, So what's your biggest advice for parents going through
any sort of like change or transition with their child
in terms of age or school or life.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Don't judge, don't judge them. Don't judge them. It's really
hard because Skyler has that terrible hair that all of
his friends have right now. And as someone who like
just wants to see his face, Yes, because and by
the way, did you see how he pulled through in
the end?
Speaker 2 (32:26):
I tell me it was sweet thing.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Ever, and that's it's the little wins, to be honest,
And that was such a good example for me of
like how to deal with your relationship with your teen Yes,
because I know as someone who was such a teen
that if my mom said don't wear black, the only
thing I would wear is black.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Yeah, you'd also put your nails black hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
So then I find with sky I'm very gentle with
my asks. But then if he doesn't. I'm sort of like, sky,
come on for me, like please, we just push your
hair out of your eyes for this night. Yeah, and
then when you get on the dance floor, put your
fluffy hair and cover your eyes. That's fine. And for
six months he was like no, no, no, no no no
(33:11):
no no, I don't want to do that, like da
da da. Five minutes before the service, five minutes before
that kid pushed his hair out of his eyes and
to the side, and he's gonna hate it. I wanted
to push it up so it looked a little more
like Chris Hemsworth, but he wouldn't let me come at it.
(33:31):
I wanted to tease it.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
I want you to touch it.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
I want me to touch it. So he had to
do it. And in hindsight, he's gonna be like, mom,
you made me wear a nerdy side part. I'd be like, no,
you actually made the nerdy side part. Wouldn't let me
push it up. But whatever, we saw his beautiful face,
we saw his beautiful eyes, and he did his mom
assaulid solid and not to me. That also made me cry,
just so you know, that was almost worse because if
(33:54):
I had gone and mad at him, it would have
been easier for me not to cry, sure, but I
was like, oh my god, he did the right thing.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Now I'm gonna cry more. So I do think we
have to.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
I think it's very much on us how we communicate,
how we hold our judgments, whether it's about what they're wearing,
what they're eating, what their hair looks like, what their
nails like, oh whatever, who their friends are. There was
a bunch of kids. I was telling Sky not to
hanging out within the beginning of the year. I said,
(34:24):
you're going to get associated with these kids and their
trouble kids.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
He's like, Mom, they're really nice, they're just not parented
very much. Lo and behold. Six months later, he's like,
you're right. Yep, you're right, Mom, You're always right. But
I had to figure it out myself, and I said, Okay,
that's fair.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
I'm here to tell you.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
You can take it or not.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
Right, but I'm going to support you and I not
judge you.
Speaker 1 (34:51):
I think as parents we have to somehow maintain being
their safe person and making sure they very clearly understand
and that the truth will save them, and that we
are their safe person no matter how we feel about
what they're doing. I think with mental health being so
(35:12):
horrific right now, the state of it fourteens especially, Yeah,
we have to maintain our judgment and relationships and make
our kids feel safe and heard no matter what we think,
and whatever we think, we can vent it to our
safe people behind closed doors. But like to your kids,
(35:33):
it's all good. Tell me, share me. I'm going to
help you. I'm going to fix it.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
Safe person, hold your judgment.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
Oh that's the techoe and I think that's the teenage formula.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
Yeah, and that's also the reason why the universe gave
you boys. I think it's way easier for you to
hold your judgments because you.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
Have two boys, girl more and more.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Yes, well, you talked about ask Rachel, and I had
a couple questions come in, so I thought we would
jump to that to close out the episode today. This
question actually came in twice, which made me laugh, and
I once I read it and then looked, I was like, Oh, interesting,
two people, where is Goldie Sunshine. We haven't seen her
in a bit.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
Oh, she's here, she's here, She's here and vibrant.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
And I guess you haven't posted Goldie in a minute.
And the Goldie Sunshine fans are like, God, where is
the Queen?
Speaker 1 (36:20):
I've been so focused on my kids I have I've
had my eight hundred jobs and my children. Okay, I
will share more Goldie Sunshine. And so she is alive
and well and furry and kicking.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
She got groomed today. Actually she looks gorgeoup.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
She gets her hair blown every Wednesday.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
I love that. God, she's a deve. Okay. Next question,
if you could only wear one designer for the rest
of your life, who would it be?
Speaker 1 (36:46):
For?
Speaker 2 (36:47):
Like everything? Formal, casual, fitness, fitness, well, you know, fitness,
like you know.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
It's different though for evening, you know, for evening.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
But you can only pick one.
Speaker 1 (37:01):
Valentino, maybe Chanel, Chanel, It's probably still I'm still Chanel.
I'm still Chanel to be honest, Yeah, I'm Chanel.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
Okay, yeah, okay, yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
But it provided includes archives.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
Oh so the full run okay, so yeah, the full
that's ever been created.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
Yeah, like Penelope Cruise gallons and stuff.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
Oh yeah, well yeah, And the last question was a
beauty question. What's your favorite eye shadow right now?
Speaker 1 (37:34):
I have a few, honestly, I love Pat McGrath. Yeah,
pot McGrath. I shadow palettes are really really beautiful and
they stay on and they're very pigmented and they have
a lot of pigment and they're very velvety, and I
love velvety. I don't like dry makeup products like they
go on very smooth like I do. Yeah, it's it's
(37:57):
more it's a powder, but it's very like it's not rich. Yeah,
and it goes on very smooth and not like it
just blends really nicely and it has some sparkle. And
I love the colors. In terms of liners, Victoria backroom
liners are my favorite. I have every single color.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
I know you really do.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
You turned me on to those, like the multi use
like I like using it as a shadow. Like I
can carry one Victoria backroom liner and use it in
the waterline under and then on the lid to like
smudge it out and smoke it out. And that's why
I like it, because it's velvety.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
And the pencils have a great smudgeer on it. I do.
It's good, great smudge.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
That's a good one.
Speaker 2 (38:36):
Well that was our ask rat jel. Well, Happy belated
Mother's Day to all the moms out there, all the
maternal energy, step moms, all of the kind of moms
that are celebrating, and I guess congratulations to all of
the graduates or all of the.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
Prom graduates, elementary, all of cool.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
Call the events that people have going on, congratulate, Congratulations
to tunes.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
Thank you so much for listening to Climbing in Heels.
If you haven't already, please subscribe on the show to
Apple Podcasts, Spotify, the iHeart app, or wherever you get
your podcasts, so don't miss a single episode this season,
and be sure to follow me on Instagram at at
rachel Zo and the show at Climbing in Heels pod
for the latest episodes and updates. I will talk to
(39:32):
you soon.