March 15, 2023 • 39 mins
Downstairs diseases! They’re painful, disgusting, but at least you’re getting some. In this episode Dr Pitt’s answers your burning sexually transmitted infection questions with a doctor all the way from exotic Illinois! Featuring Fran Gillespie.
About Sudi Green:
Sudi Green is an Emmy-nominated writer and comedian. She has written for Saturday Night Live, Shrill (Hulu), I Love That For You (Showtime) and numerous variety specials and awards shows. Her on-screen credits include The Other Two, Girls, and Red Oaks. A recent NY transplant to LA, you can see Sudi performing live comedy that a friend from home described as ‘very expressive.’
Find her on Instagram @sudigreen and Twitter @Sudi_Green
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Parts Talk, Parts Talk, Punks Talk, punks talk. Okay, I
brought in dunkins. Did you get a munchkin? Yeah? I
most of the powdered one. Sorry guilty. This is Parts Talk.
(00:25):
I'm doctor Nancy Pitts, Wilmington, Delaware's number one female obgyn,
and here on Parts Talk, we talk all things parts. Oh.
I'm so excited for episode two because episode number one
was a real big hit. You know how I know
my kids were really embarrassed Margaret Sannaron, but what did
they know? My husband Patrick liked it too much, kind
(00:48):
of irritated me. Wouldn't stopped talking about it. How is
my week, doctor Pitts, You might be asking, Well, I
got reprimanded by HR because I was too excited about
a gay couple have the baby via Sergit on our Unit. Yeah.
I kind of felt like I was in my own
private episode of queer Eyes, and I kept calling one
(01:08):
of them chating. I couldn't help it. Okay, they were
so beautiful. I might have sang them that one Maclamore's song,
but I just loved the message of it. Maclamore, you know,
he just really gets it in a lot of ways
that I feel like we don't talk about. Oh and
this couple, they were gorgeous. Their surrogeit was beutiful. And
(01:33):
she's rich now she's walking out of the hospital thirty
pounds thinner and three hundred k Richard. You know when
I got when I pushed out my son Marcus, six
years of travel hockey. They were so glamorous, you know.
One of the dad said he met the good doctor
on a plane once. Yeah. Freddie Hydemore from the Good
Willy Wonka. Only celebrity I ever met was a secret
(01:56):
service agent who thought the bullet for Reagan. He has
a house down the short Yeah, right by my mums.
I really wish I were more involved in the gay
community in Delaware. I mean, of course, my grandmother was gay,
but we never talked about it. She was just the
kind of Catholic woman who loved their dogs more than
her family and never ever, ever, ever, ever ever smiled.
(02:16):
But hey, it was a different time. Oh and speaking
of very old Catholics, let's get to this week's Biden spotting.
This week's Biden spotting is I saw doctor Jill Biden Biden.
He's at the Boss Cobs. Yeah. I followed her around
the store and bought the same thing how she got
(02:38):
And of course rubber sheets for my son Marcus, which
is the real reason why I was in there. Doctor
Jill is so sexy in her little boots and skirts,
reading the kids and feeding homeless events. Hot lady. Doctor
Jill is not a medical doctor, but uh yeah, she's
so smart. She could do what I do. It's not
that hard. Also, I just gotta say this after the
(02:59):
first episode have gotten some feedback. The Biden Spottens are
not a political endorsement. Okay, it's just where I saw
them because it's Delaware. The state is the size of
Pennsylvania's Clint and you're going to see people around. But
for the record, I am a Biden Democrat, which means basically,
I think everybody should have equal rights, and I don't
think too deeply beyond that. I'm done at plim people.
(03:24):
My dad died of asbestos poisoning he got from working
his whole life at the Chrysler plant. That's how a
real American man dies. And speaking of my dad's death,
let's get into today's topic. STIs aka when the good
parts feel bad. You know, there's so much damn shame
(03:45):
around sex. I'm with the Catholic School and our Lady
of the Sacred Lady, and I graduated with honors because
I had perfect attendance and I was a virgin the
whole time. My sex head teacher was a menopozzle nun
named Sister Sherryanne, telling me that premarital sex would give
me cancer. But I'm going to change the sheep sdis
are a lot like having us spend a week down
(04:06):
of Rehobeth with your in laws. Absolutely no fun, but
if you take enough drugs, it'll be over in no time.
I've had plenty of little downtown pimples in my life,
especially back during my days at ud do As University.
The dollar, chlamydia, gon arhea, syphilis, you name it. I
mean I had too many. You'd think I was banging
(04:27):
an old timey blacksmith, but it was actually just a
guy from the intramural bowling team. He was cute, but
I shouldn't have known better than to trust the man
who wears communal shoes. But she living, You'll learn, and
those days are long behind me because of my first
year in medical school. You know, I met my husband Patrick,
not that we have sex anymore. All we do now
(04:47):
is fight about who's going to pick our daughter air
and up for mock trial practice. But in the beginning
we for sure bang. Oh, before I forget, we got
our podcasts first ever sponsored today. It's super excit. Okay,
So today's show is sponsored by Tony's Parogui Hoogie Hat,
Premium Hogies and genuine Polish paroguis, and those things are delicious.
(05:09):
They've got buffalo chicken paroges. Now the future is beer, folks. Anyway,
coming down to Tony's Parogie Hoogie Hat parogies, They're not
just potatoes and cheese no more. And that brings us
to our first segment, what's that guck coming out of me?
We asked the US to send me pictures of different
discharges coming out of your holes, and I'm going to
(05:32):
go through that and give you my professional medical opinion. Now,
the producers of my podcasts are telling me that podcasts
are not a visual medium, So me talking about pictures,
ain't You're really gonna do the trick, But how do
you use? Guys will get it? Now. A general rule
of thumb I like to use with discharge is clearer white.
(05:53):
You're doing all right? Green, yellow, red, You're better off dead.
I'm kidding, but in all seriousness, if any of those
colors show up in your drawers, you should definitely reach
out to your doctor. Okay, time for the first picture. Now,
this first picture is a deep yellow, almost brown color.
(06:13):
You see that? And obviously it's just a picture, but
I can tell it stinks. Wolf. This is a textbook
case of gonorrhea. But don't worry. The clap is easy
to fix. Just go to your doctor asap and get
an antibiotic, or you'll be going to work with your
undy's full of mustard. Oooh you know what mustard is
good on a classic six and spicy Italian hoogie from
(06:37):
her sponsor, Tony Parogie Hoogie Hut. Use the discount code
Young Young Pitts for twenty percent off any order. Next up,
we got a picture of what appears to be poop. Yep,
that's a poop, just straight up dukie. I'm not sure
why this person was confused about it, but if I
could make any recommendation here, it would be in eat
(06:57):
of vegetable like the new Vegete dairy and parodies red ponies.
Just stay away from the hot sauce. That is not
going to help your situation. Now, this next a guck
is pretty clear, which is a good thing. Seems a
little slippery, pretty viscous. My guess is you're pretty repped
up and morning, and I'd recommend you go out and
(07:17):
find a loving partner to take care of that asap,
because this stuff won't stop flowing until you get your nut,
you know what I'm saying. And when you're done doing
the dirty, hop on Postmates or door Dash and order
a meat blake from Tiny's Parobi heavy hot ob GYNs
aren't the only one to deliver. Okay, that's all the
(07:37):
guck we have time for today, so I'll leave you
with this. Your genitals are a delicate ecosystem like the
Baltimore Harbor in between your legs. Tides are coming in,
tides are coming out. Be gentle with her and see
me sometime now. Use guys, I'm so excited for our
(07:58):
first gap. Okay, I'm just really freaking jezzed to catch
up with this lady. She's my best thie from med
school and she is currently the lead obstetrician at Chicago
Hair Medical Center in Illinois, and she taught me about picklebacks,
so please give it a good old Parks tuck. Welcome
(08:20):
to doctor Francis. Just upp hi, oh stop, oh stop
it to my god, Franny, you look amazing. Stop you're
gassing me up. You're gassing me up, stopping amazing? Oh
thank you? I love you. Here did you get highlights? Um?
(08:41):
You know what I actually? Uh we went down to
Florida for kids midwinter break. You know how that goes,
You know what I mean, nice midwater break when they're
sort of like, uh, drive me up the wall, and
then I just say, it's midwinter break. Okay, not recognized
by the schools, but uh yeah, we're gonna drive down
to Florida. So we down Florida and I pulled lemon
(09:01):
juice on my hairstep by the pool five days straight.
I'm like, oh, well, it looks amazing. You look like
Kelly Clarkson. Oh my god, she should take over for Ellen.
Am I crazy for thinking that? Am I crazy for
thinking that? Kelly seems happy and Ellen seems sad and mad.
You know, it's not my place. It's not my place.
I remember when I went to a tape and of Ellen.
Oh yeah, that was so funny, fun fun. I think
(09:26):
you're in a bad mood and you didn't dance, and
then she kind of she kind of yelled at you
a little bit. Yeah, well, the thing was is that
they didn't put enough half and half in my coffee,
because you know how I like it. I like it
mostly dream and just like two pumps of coffee. But
they won't do that at the Fancy, you know, whatever
place we were at. So yeah, I wasn't dancing, and
nobody's gonna tell me what to do. I've had two kids, Okay,
(09:46):
I went to medical school. Okay, I got like four
letters after my name. I mean, that's how freaking educated
you too. Nobody's gonna tell a doctor to dance. Well,
I also think the thing is like you're in a
position that it's a lose lose because you dance, you know,
you get sort of like uh, you know, jabbed. They
work kind of like saw you dancing, which you don't dance,
(10:07):
and then all of a sudden, Ellen's kind of well,
she gave you the kind of devil ie, you know
what I mean. But you know what, we got a
cracker bearra gift certificate out of it, and it was
worth it. I mean I'll oh, it was so worth it.
I know, that was an hysterical trip. That was a hysterical.
It was hysterical. It was hysterical. I mean you and me,
(10:28):
you mean want me together. It's a last riot. It's
kind of a stand back, you know situation. You and
I walk in and you see you see the bart
Oh no, oh no, basically bartown there. What about our husbands?
You and I are down the shore together and h
we walk home from shopping, you know, Pandora, we got
all our backs. Both of our husbands were like, oh no,
(10:49):
oh no, Well that trip to the shore was one
for the ages, because you know, I never see nothing
like the shore before in Chicago. It's sort of just like, uh,
you know, you got some rocks and then the lake
course and then I go to shore and it's like
a ferris wheel. Okay, yeah, you know we got that
(11:10):
a navy pier. But but but I think the reason
that we are such who is because we're just hysterical
when we're together. But his work hard, play hard. You know,
it's a it's you put the hours in and then
and then you know, you know it's like, uh, you know,
we worked seventy two hours straight and residency, and then
it was like okay and uh am I going to bed? No,
(11:31):
we're going to hog wild blackout. I don't want to remember.
I don't want to remember the residency, and I don't
want to remember who I was going out which And
that's what he makes that's your favors and Brianny, Wow,
that's what you meant, Bill, I do want to say that, Bill.
Oh gosh, these last two years with Bill I just
got it's been. It's been a real sort of funky
(11:52):
time with us. You know, his mother's living is now
no yes, no, yes, no, No, mother's living with us,
and of course she takes our room right A sleeping
in the den? Are you? Because you got a beautiful den?
But it is it on a bedroom? You know, I
got two boys, so I'm sure in a bed with
(12:14):
a thirteen year old, which uh do not recommend? Okay,
oh god? Does it is? This? Is this a this
is a bed? Vibrate? Or are we dealing with a
Are we dealing with a thirteen year old mendman who
just don't watch a little bit too much euphoria? Yeah?
Well no, we don't let him watch that crap. We
don't let you know. They get into it. We we
we programmed television, so they only get two channels. Oh really,
(12:37):
because Marcus told me that he watched it with him yours,
Marcus watch it with Triff, Yeah, he said, guys, that
were you in Triff there? He said, we're watching euphoria.
I don't know it's on my HBMX. Okay, watching at
their friend's house, Branny, they watch it at their friend's house.
There's nothing you can do about it. They watch at
their friend's house, the friend being my son, Marcus. And
(13:00):
you're letting that happen in your house. That's trash. It's trash,
it's portographic. I saw one billboard for it, and I said,
that's portographic. Ranny. I am an ob g y N
and a sexual health educator. We got industrial buckets of
lube and medical dildos all over the house. Okay, you
might as well see it with some nice lighting. Okay,
(13:21):
I mean, look, I'm sex positive, of course, but what
they're peddling in you for it is just I mean,
when I was a teenager, I look like a fucking toe,
and now it's like they got the beautiful I've seen
pictures of you. You look like a toe with long hair.
I had really long hair. You had that here you
(13:41):
weren't you were afraid to cut it was that the
thing here, you had that whole thing. Well, I'm afraid
to cut your hair. I was scared to I thought
it was good luck. I you know, I had hey
touch of the OCD growing up, and I saw my
hair was good luck. And uh, I thought if I
cut it there, well, you know it's it's it's a burden,
it's a blessing because you you know, you kept washing
your hands all the time, and now you're a doctor,
(14:03):
you know. So it kind of worked out. Not everything
was based in logic. I thought if I cut my hair,
my parents would die. I mean that went through. But
I guess what you cut? You cut your hair. And
now your mother in law I was living with you.
Oh so oh she's well, you know she'd lived with
us because she threw her back up when she was
(14:25):
taking the Christmas lights down. Why is she doing that?
That's what I said. I say, Christmas lights become Martygaraw
lights become Easter lights become for her, July lights become
Halloween lights. Genius, genius, you know they got these ones
at Amazons you can get them or Walmarts and you
just turn the dial and you got you got multi
color for Christmas. You turn her just thread and you
(14:46):
turn it just the purple. Oh, I'm all about it,
about it, I'm all about it. That's genius. I mean,
I wish they had that when we were kids. That's genius.
That's genius. That's genius. The stuff they gone on Amazon.
I thought the other day there's a blanket with holes
in it so that you can still text, oh wearing
the blanket. Oh, yes, my gosh, genius. You know. I
(15:09):
like to try and support local, but sometimes I'm just like,
it's gonna come in a day, Okay, a new set
of sheets will come tomorrow, which you know why i'd
be needing my house because I got thirteen year old,
eleven year old blimy. I just went bob rubber sheets
at Boskov's the other day for Marcus, because I'm not
sleeping with him, but I know what he's doing. Well.
(15:31):
I mean, it's just sort of like, is it I'm
paying for convenience because you know my hours it's through
the roof. It's crazy, you're doing overnights you're doing overnights
and also guess what, you know what also comes in
the day babies. Right, we're just constantly getting called into
the unit. You know. I don't know if you've you
(15:51):
face this, but h over it all hair. I mean,
it's crazy. I've never seen more kids. And I was
thinking like, Okay, yeah, there's gonna be a lull because
who wants to you know, kick it with the person
You've been hanging around the house all day and then
all of a sudden enormous influctations. Yeah. Great. I'm reading
all these articles and there's I know, the birth rate
(16:13):
is down and you know women today don't want to
have kids. And I'm like, uh, where because that's where
I want to open up my practice. Yeah, because a
woman's in Delaware. People are banging and they are multiplying.
I'm seeing now women with four or five kids. I'm like,
this is this is where is two thousand and twenty
two at this point, like this is not you know, nine,
(16:34):
I see a woman twenty or five kids and I
want to shaker and say, don't you know you don't
have to do this? No more? Don't you know you
don't have to do this? No more. You know something
that that there really is a sort of getting Michael Is.
I'm seeing kinda believe it or not, kind of like
fit dads coming in now and fit dads. But then
(16:56):
the the mom has you know, they they got three kids,
and I see a fit dad. If I see a
fit dad, I say, uh, let's lose the time at
the gym and teach the kids how to read. And
you know what I say about a guy with a
dad bod, Oh you got a dad bot good dad.
Every single father in my family, every single father in
(17:16):
my family had a beer gut that made him look
like he was in his third trimester. And that's a
good father. Same with when men have hobbies, I'm like,
must be nice. No, we're no, No, I'm sorry, you're
forty year old man, and now you're gonna learn how
to like race cars? Like what's happening? Oh my god,
don't even get me started on the cycle dads. Every
(17:39):
single weekend, I see these skinny, skinny guys going through
White Clay Creek State Park. Oh, they think they're tour
to France. I honestly get really close to them in
my car on purpose, you know, And then I shout
out to them. Does your kid know how to read good?
Toe the line, Toe the line, toe the line. I
mean I couldn't. It's just crazy. I mean I see these,
(18:02):
you know, buying leagues and these like I see. I mean,
if Bill had a hobby, I would kill him. I
would kill him. Oh well, I wish my Patrick had
a hobby, because, oh my god, Patrick is always asking
me to go on a nature walk with him or
telling me that, oh, I'm making homemade sushi to night.
(18:22):
I know it's your favorite when you coming home and
I'm just like, could you please get a little baby
bike and go up a hill? I mean I would die.
But you know, our relationship is different. Our relationship is different.
I mean, he's such a sweetheart. I couldn't. I mean,
I couldn't want a nicer guy for you. You've always
(18:44):
had a crush on Patrick, and I love it. I'm flattered,
I swear. Okay, the listeners there know this. Okay, So
in medical school, Okay, so you and I went them
out of school to gather at University of the Dollar. Yeah,
of course, of course, which is cool because you were
kind of like an international student being from Chicago. I mean,
my gosh, it's like that thirteen hour drive might as
(19:07):
well have been from Chicago to Quait. It was josper No,
it's a totally different world down here, Delaware is a
totally different world. That's why people don't understand. So you
met Patrick, Patrick meets Franny, okay, and this is a
funny story. And he's just talking to her all night
and he's saying the most app He's saying her, Oh,
your culture is so interesting, your your your voice is
(19:31):
so exotic. Oh, you're telling him these words like you're
saying him like what do you what do you use?
Guys call sausage, sauceage, sausage and peppah, what do I
call a sausage? I don't know? A pizza puff? What
do I though? He's saying, He's saying to you, like
how deep is the dish of the pizza? You know,
(19:54):
you're telling him words like brought. You're telling him word
brath brot, brat brat. Sure, okay, somebody has another coffee. Well,
I think of a sausage and if brad is two
different things, I see, I do know. I'm not French, No,
I know brat Brat's Yeah, I mean, Patrick was a
real sweetheart. You know, he was just humor and me.
(20:16):
I know he I know he thinks that I'm just
like this sort I'll like, I know he still asks
about you. He's still asked about you. And he loves
your accent. Oh yeah. At one time I just said them,
I said, Patrick, he love her accent. He said, I
think it's one of those sexiest things I'd ever heard.
He was a couple of sangree is in that was
down the shore. Remember that night when we got in
(20:37):
the hot tub, things came close. Oh my gosh, I oh,
I was so embarrassed. I I mean, I was never
gonna be on a bikinia. I'm Patrick's all. I just
went in in my pajamas. Oh my god. And then
of course I can do embarrassed, ask for a new sad.
Just slept him too that once. I mean, that's it's
it really is. Patrick is a dang sweetheart, that's all say.
(20:59):
And you know he's just like Bill's just kind of
a bump on a log. No, I love Bill at
this point, He's just his couch. This guy. No, Bill
is so great and he knows how to do all
of that like stuff with cars, and he's always like
pinkerin and like hanging up a shelf. God, I would
(21:20):
kill for Patrick to hang up a shelf. You know,
he has his projects, he has he has his a
little um around the house fix er uppers. But of
course you know those are to varying degrees of success.
I mean a three legs table. I mean the bookshelf
killed the cat. The books down kill the cat. The
bookshelf squashed the cat. I mean host to say, I
(21:43):
I we don't know if it was the cat's fault
or not. I mean, but the book Sunrise Sunset. That's
what I always say. You know, in the medical profession,
we have a phrase, Sunrise Sunset. Yes, everybody's gonna die,
even cats. Yes. And you know, between me, me and you,
the cat it gave me nothing in return. I'm a
(22:04):
dog girl, through and through the cat. The cat tuk
tuk tuk and was better than me, and we all
knew it. And I literally was born a dog and
a cat makes me uncomfortable. So who was to say
what happened with the bookshelf. But yeah, the boys, they
had crackodile tears for about two hours. Then we went
to Giordano's and all of a sudden, cat who Okay, Okay,
(22:29):
well I think actually, uh, since you're here, and since
you're one of the best damn baby bringers I ever
Damn no, I mean this woman with the four sps.
I mean, it's like it's like watching It's like watching
a master at work. Okay, it's like watching Oprah with
Tom Cruise. I mean, you just know what you're doing.
You just know what you're doing. So on partstock, people
(22:51):
send in there are questions anomalously and we're gonna answer him.
And I figure because I got my smartiest gall pal
with most stop oh stop that out, we would answer
some questions. So this episode is actually about a STDs.
You ever had one? I got pubic lice even though
I had no pubes. Wow, you're a medical marvel. Okay.
(23:14):
They should be going kind of on the like on
the folds. They were burrowing on the fold T I remember,
and uh yeah, one of the guys in our in
our class that the paper on you pures. He put
pictures but he left my name out, but my face
was there and I was in the class. Okay, So
(23:35):
our first question comes from coded Eddie and he says, yeah,
you see what he did there. Yeah, okay, I'm a
freshman at Temple and everybody in my dorm has been
arguing about this for months. What is the coolest STI
you can get? Okay? I just want to clarify that
(23:57):
getting an STI is not a competition. It's not and
the long term health risks. You know, they have an
untreated infection. They give me serious that being said, what's
your answer because minus syphilis? Oh wow, okay, because syphilis,
that's like a classic sort of it's rare. Okay, it's
(24:19):
kind of like, oh, you know who else had syphilis?
Christopher Columbus. Wow, No, kind of like kind of like
sins the beginning. Yeah, syphilis is kind of like getting gout.
Syphilis is the is the key is the King's STI.
That's sort of like, yeah, a real classic one. I see.
I was gonna go just go with yeast infection because
(24:39):
it means you're doing it. I mean, look, we've both
gotten them from just In and went underwear. I know
that's ford percent. I mean you got a rage in
one once you were in the hot of in your pajamas.
Oh my, you know, it was just sort of and
also U I would say yeast infection because it means
you're down and dirty and it's all s to happen in.
(25:01):
And also I would say he suffection because you can
get it even while you use in protection. It's also
a sad one though, because you know, comes when you
don't pee after sex, which I think, I'm just like,
why don't for the listeners out there, the listeners he
after sex. If you take one thing away from this podcast,
(25:21):
piss after you get it, you know what? And I
pissed before and during. I mean, I'm not taking any risks.
I'm just sort of it's fish from giving the end. Really,
that's you and Bill's business. That's you in Bill's business. Look,
it's just that's my answer. You subfection means you're going
(25:43):
at it. But uh, I think you're right and it's
easy to hear. Rif cranberry juice, my god, oh my god.
Ocean spray. Yeah, doctor prescribed me ocean spray. Okay, Yeah,
I'm gonna write you a prescription for kombucha. Okay, get
that good that good flora in there? Yeah? Oh yeah, okay,
(26:05):
So next question, go Eagles ninety one rights. Okay, I'm
a thirty four year old who lives in Concho hawking,
and I'm sort of a hypochondriac. Will I have better
protection if I wear a condom all day every day? Also,
what's the most amount of condoms I can wear at once? Okay?
(26:28):
Now this is this is interesting because I don't think
you can put a condom on a soft one. Oh no,
I've seen it happen. Oh No, that that feeds a
whole purpose because like it's not going to be able
to do any pumps, right, because that's like, is that
like putting an infant in a sleeping bag putting the
(26:52):
condom on a soft one? I mean, look, I'm just
a doctor. I don't know that I've seen that. But um, okay,
so I would say we're in it all day. That's
too much, that's crazy, that's crazy. They need to You
just need to put one on when your heart is
a rock and it's about to you know, do it's
think aka go in aka. The mast is up and
(27:16):
we are full sales ahead, you know what I mean? Though,
I will say I did have a patient who um
got chlamydia from sitting on a toilet seat. Say her
answers that anything can happen. Well, you know, I couldn't
believe what I say. Are you saying, what's the point
of condoms? Well, I'm just saying it's good to be prepared,
(27:40):
because no, I mean, obviously, this girl, she she got
it from sitting on a toilet seat at a bachelor party.
So I don't know why why was she hit the
bachelor party. She ate in the bathtub because she was
worried her fiance would cheat, so she was there and
(28:02):
that's how she got the clamdity because she was worried
that her fiance. Chat say, she definitely didn't get it
from his sheet. Now, she actually got it from the
bathroom finding kind of like a euphoria. I know you
don't watch it, but there was a very famous scene
where a woman hidden bathroom. Oh gosh, I haven't seen it,
(28:24):
but you know, I'm I'm praying it's it's the one
with the knockers. But even though they an't got badiadiadasai
mean no shame. Yeah no, but when you say knockers,
we all know what you mean. Every next question, I
think we gave good advice. Next question, yeah, okay, self,
Pepper cutch Up says long story short, I spend an
(28:47):
hour and a half on the toilet at Jimmy John's
in new Ark. It was a real mess. It looked
like the bathroom of saw. I'm there, can I get
an STI from a tolilet seat? Answered that, I'm sorry,
I really can. Oh my gosh, I'm sorry. I didn't
know that that that There's gonna be another question about
(29:09):
toilet seat. Okay, well, I think it's a common question,
so I guess my answer would be maybe you can,
or maybe you think you got your STI from the
toilet seat, but you really got it from your no
good cheating partner who is a wander and eye. Look.
I think the the simplest answer is always the right answer,
(29:31):
even though it's the then the answer you you might want.
But h it's a I mean the toilet and norc
I would say, just well, I'm I don't know how
they spelled it because it's Newark, so is it Newark
Beller or is it Newark, New Jersey? Because some genius
(29:51):
decided to name this town Newark, and then they were like, oh,
I like Newark. I'm gonna name this town Newark, but
I'm gonna pronoun ounce it like Newark, okay, which is
so confusing. I mean, like I'm trying to take Amtrak
home because you know, i'd sometimes do in the Newark
station even though I live in Wilming them because of
the traffic, it's easier to go on Rushing Hill anyway,
(30:13):
you know, yeah, park and park and ride. All of
a sudden, I'm right by where they filmed Super Nuts.
Oh yeah, it's happened to me a couple of times.
I you know, the job and the hours are so
demanding that any sort of one time sort of guy,
I fell in the al tracks because I was because
(30:35):
I was exhausted. Because I was exhausted, fell in the
al tracks. You know, I was Franny More. I'm sure
it wasn't a you know, right after you had Becky
and you're you kind of had the blues. Well, look,
because I remember some of those calls and some of
those dark days. It's all everything's a temptation. Okay. Every
(30:58):
day I leave my house and I think, hey, today
I could be a gunner. And you know, sometimes I
get home and I say, toaster in the tub. You know,
but I definitely shame in the baby blues. I mean,
I know, I know some women, myself included, I've had
postpartum depression. I still have it in the kids a teenager,
you know. I think there needs to be sort of
(31:20):
just like a new term for just being sad that
you have kids. I mean, is it all postpartum, well
apartum until when I smell another research article. I smell
our next publisher parish, I smell our next medical journal entry.
I was writing something that I finally bailed on, called
(31:40):
midwives who needs Them? And then it was sort of like, okay,
I mean it's just funny. I mean, like a whole
new profession of someone over my shoulder given sort of
like encourage in words, I'm like, gonna get me started.
We were talking the other day on the podcast about
Dula's I'm just gonna say it. If they don't smell
like we, they look like weed. I just think, like,
(32:04):
I mean, I need sort of a coach there. I
don't need like Lana del Rey, you know, I need
sort of like a Bobby Knight chucking a chair at me.
I don't need sort of like a kind of ful
fu kind of attitude. I'm like, get down to business.
It's now never okay, should we keep doing these questions? Yeah,
(32:25):
this one's a good one. Okay, okay, okay, this one
says no name lazy says, I'm at the doctor's office
filling out paperwork. How do you spell gone? A rhea?
Oh lord, oh, this is a good one. Well we
had that sort of I that the kind of song
(32:46):
to remember how to spell? It's okay, okay, it's gee definitely.
He starts with G yes, sort of like a oh
to this to the tuna roll your ball, wasn't it
g g g oh? And oh and then it's confused.
(33:10):
It's confused. And actually, when you think about it, because
I think we're not ge no. I write this down
every single day. I write this down almost every single day.
I know I spell this word ge ge oh. And
oh oh, what's next? Gone or r r h e A. Okay,
(33:38):
we did it. Okay, that was a good one. Okay,
so um, I got I got a question for you.
What what what STI does? Ben afflea class? I no
know which one does he have? Ganeria girl? I'm freany.
That's good. That's funny. Franny. That's hysterical, like Gone Girl,
(34:02):
like the book in the movie. I mean, it's just something.
I mean, you're gonna tell that one at the conference. No,
they're not gonna let me do that again. Last year
we went too crazy. Last year we went to work hard,
flavor hard, you know. But you know what they're getting into.
Oh yeah, yeah, we show up at the medical conference
(34:24):
together and that we're seeing all of our colleagues and
they I know, I know. No. No, by the way,
by the way, you know what they charge me for
the chair? No, yes, they charged me for the chair?
How much thousand dollars? No, the chair was not worth
a thousand dollars. You made it. You up the value
by what you did, do it on it. I couldn't
(34:45):
believe it. I got invoiced and I was just like whatever, okay,
gall the nerve the goal ended up losing money that weekend,
That's all I'll say. Well, would you lose you gained
in life experience. Okay, yeah, okay, all right, So this
next question, this is our last question. Actually, this next
one is from home husband and it has a picture
(35:08):
attached to it. Oh all right, don't open attachments. Don't open.
Well I already did. Oh it's says is this a
general award or an ingrown here, and can you please
come home and check the dog missus. You God, David,
This one is from Patrick. This is Patrick's a little
(35:28):
downtown pimple. I know, I recognize that little salt pepper
bush that is adorable. First of all, my god, my god,
that's adorable. I mean, Cassy, that picture you're gonna actually, yeah,
look at it. Oh yeah, I'm bording right now. What's
your email address? It's Diva smurfh Weld. I know I
(35:51):
have it your email at Frank Diva Smurf Diva Smurf
Franny at yahoo dot hotspot. Okay, yeah, I got it
right in there. Word of the picture. That's my work email,
you know. Oh yeah, I gotta keep it professional. But
you know, it's always hard to tell between a word
and an ingrown hair. And I just say, treat them
(36:12):
the same, you know, yeah, just sap them, just freeze
them off, freeze them but ice for the ice cube
bottom for our ninety minutes, and then knock them off
with a hammer. Yeah. Well, no, Patrick, he's going to
get real excited about me being down there with a
nice cube from down the shore. You remember from down
(36:33):
the shore, the things we tried, I mean, my dad
if but oh gosh, yeah, well, you know, while the
kids are playing video games, like who knows what the
parents will get up to. That's all I have to say.
H I mean, you're down the shore, this Angria is flowing.
You know, you got a bunch of salt water taffy
right by the hot tub. That stuff's going everywhere, you
(36:57):
know what. I wonder if kids are doing these days.
There was a lot of food play when we were,
you know, in our Sexual Awakening, it was like tray
it with pop rocks, tray with that. Yeah. Well, Jessica
Simpson was like selling body butter that tasted like cinnamon sugar.
Do you mean that there were people are supposed to
put at hu house for a blowjob? Is that true?
(37:19):
That's crazy. I just remember reading a lot of articles
that were like, first put doctor pepper in her mouth,
then put a junk in there. I'm like, what the
hell that's like the that's a good way to get
yourself a yeast infection. I don't know if kids are
using food. I think kids wised up now. Well I
hope not, because if you're using food, just make sure
(37:42):
that it's something that is good for your ecosystem down there,
like a yogurt or a komboocha some nice fauna. Because
you get too much sugar, you get you get anything
with spice down there. You know, even if you go
to Buffalo Wild Wings, then you just eat your girl out.
I mean, that's a disaster weight in a hap happen.
Think about think about just filling your mouth with yogurt,
(38:05):
lying down and just having Patrick Bob's thing in there. Well,
it's been amazing at you of the podcast. Great does
any God? I miss you and India and answer my
email about the shorehouse this yere. Oh, I gotta check dates.
I gotta check dates to check daser in summer school
because blah blah blah. I mean, I gotta check dates. Yeah,
(38:26):
I just well back, okay, Well, love you, love you,
I love okay, love you so much. Hide to the
kid's hie to bell Oh Santa Patrick, Okay, Bye. Well
that's all the time we have for today on Parts Talk.
Thanks again to my guests doctor Francis GISEPPI, God love you.
(38:47):
I next all of yous for sending in questions about
your weird weird parts. We'll see youse listeners next week
on parts talk,
Parts Talk, Parts Talk, Punks Talk, punks talk. Okay, I
brought in dunkins. Did you get a munchkin? Yeah? I
most of the powdered one. Sorry guilty. This is Parts Talk.
(00:25):
I'm doctor Nancy Pitts, Wilmington, Delaware's number one female obgyn,
and here on Parts Talk, we talk all things parts. Oh.
I'm so excited for episode two because episode number one
was a real big hit. You know how I know
my kids were really embarrassed Margaret Sannaron, but what did
they know? My husband Patrick liked it too much, kind
(00:48):
of irritated me. Wouldn't stopped talking about it. How is
my week, doctor Pitts, You might be asking, Well, I
got reprimanded by HR because I was too excited about
a gay couple have the baby via Sergit on our Unit. Yeah.
I kind of felt like I was in my own
private episode of queer Eyes, and I kept calling one
(01:08):
of them chating. I couldn't help it. Okay, they were
so beautiful. I might have sang them that one Maclamore's song,
but I just loved the message of it. Maclamore, you know,
he just really gets it in a lot of ways
that I feel like we don't talk about. Oh and
this couple, they were gorgeous. Their surrogeit was beutiful. And
(01:33):
she's rich now she's walking out of the hospital thirty
pounds thinner and three hundred k Richard. You know when
I got when I pushed out my son Marcus, six
years of travel hockey. They were so glamorous, you know.
One of the dad said he met the good doctor
on a plane once. Yeah. Freddie Hydemore from the Good
Willy Wonka. Only celebrity I ever met was a secret
(01:56):
service agent who thought the bullet for Reagan. He has
a house down the short Yeah, right by my mums.
I really wish I were more involved in the gay
community in Delaware. I mean, of course, my grandmother was gay,
but we never talked about it. She was just the
kind of Catholic woman who loved their dogs more than
her family and never ever, ever, ever, ever ever smiled.
(02:16):
But hey, it was a different time. Oh and speaking
of very old Catholics, let's get to this week's Biden spotting.
This week's Biden spotting is I saw doctor Jill Biden Biden.
He's at the Boss Cobs. Yeah. I followed her around
the store and bought the same thing how she got
(02:38):
And of course rubber sheets for my son Marcus, which
is the real reason why I was in there. Doctor
Jill is so sexy in her little boots and skirts,
reading the kids and feeding homeless events. Hot lady. Doctor
Jill is not a medical doctor, but uh yeah, she's
so smart. She could do what I do. It's not
that hard. Also, I just gotta say this after the
(02:59):
first episode have gotten some feedback. The Biden Spottens are
not a political endorsement. Okay, it's just where I saw
them because it's Delaware. The state is the size of
Pennsylvania's Clint and you're going to see people around. But
for the record, I am a Biden Democrat, which means basically,
I think everybody should have equal rights, and I don't
think too deeply beyond that. I'm done at plim people.
(03:24):
My dad died of asbestos poisoning he got from working
his whole life at the Chrysler plant. That's how a
real American man dies. And speaking of my dad's death,
let's get into today's topic. STIs aka when the good
parts feel bad. You know, there's so much damn shame
(03:45):
around sex. I'm with the Catholic School and our Lady
of the Sacred Lady, and I graduated with honors because
I had perfect attendance and I was a virgin the
whole time. My sex head teacher was a menopozzle nun
named Sister Sherryanne, telling me that premarital sex would give
me cancer. But I'm going to change the sheep sdis
are a lot like having us spend a week down
(04:06):
of Rehobeth with your in laws. Absolutely no fun, but
if you take enough drugs, it'll be over in no time.
I've had plenty of little downtown pimples in my life,
especially back during my days at ud do As University.
The dollar, chlamydia, gon arhea, syphilis, you name it. I
mean I had too many. You'd think I was banging
(04:27):
an old timey blacksmith, but it was actually just a
guy from the intramural bowling team. He was cute, but
I shouldn't have known better than to trust the man
who wears communal shoes. But she living, You'll learn, and
those days are long behind me because of my first
year in medical school. You know, I met my husband Patrick,
not that we have sex anymore. All we do now
(04:47):
is fight about who's going to pick our daughter air
and up for mock trial practice. But in the beginning
we for sure bang. Oh, before I forget, we got
our podcasts first ever sponsored today. It's super excit. Okay,
So today's show is sponsored by Tony's Parogui Hoogie Hat,
Premium Hogies and genuine Polish paroguis, and those things are delicious.
(05:09):
They've got buffalo chicken paroges. Now the future is beer, folks. Anyway,
coming down to Tony's Parogie Hoogie Hat parogies, They're not
just potatoes and cheese no more. And that brings us
to our first segment, what's that guck coming out of me?
We asked the US to send me pictures of different
discharges coming out of your holes, and I'm going to
(05:32):
go through that and give you my professional medical opinion. Now,
the producers of my podcasts are telling me that podcasts
are not a visual medium, So me talking about pictures,
ain't You're really gonna do the trick, But how do
you use? Guys will get it? Now. A general rule
of thumb I like to use with discharge is clearer white.
(05:53):
You're doing all right? Green, yellow, red, You're better off dead.
I'm kidding, but in all seriousness, if any of those
colors show up in your drawers, you should definitely reach
out to your doctor. Okay, time for the first picture. Now,
this first picture is a deep yellow, almost brown color.
(06:13):
You see that? And obviously it's just a picture, but
I can tell it stinks. Wolf. This is a textbook
case of gonorrhea. But don't worry. The clap is easy
to fix. Just go to your doctor asap and get
an antibiotic, or you'll be going to work with your
undy's full of mustard. Oooh you know what mustard is
good on a classic six and spicy Italian hoogie from
(06:37):
her sponsor, Tony Parogie Hoogie Hut. Use the discount code
Young Young Pitts for twenty percent off any order. Next up,
we got a picture of what appears to be poop. Yep,
that's a poop, just straight up dukie. I'm not sure
why this person was confused about it, but if I
could make any recommendation here, it would be in eat
(06:57):
of vegetable like the new Vegete dairy and parodies red ponies.
Just stay away from the hot sauce. That is not
going to help your situation. Now, this next a guck
is pretty clear, which is a good thing. Seems a
little slippery, pretty viscous. My guess is you're pretty repped
up and morning, and I'd recommend you go out and
(07:17):
find a loving partner to take care of that asap,
because this stuff won't stop flowing until you get your nut,
you know what I'm saying. And when you're done doing
the dirty, hop on Postmates or door Dash and order
a meat blake from Tiny's Parobi heavy hot ob GYNs
aren't the only one to deliver. Okay, that's all the
(07:37):
guck we have time for today, so I'll leave you
with this. Your genitals are a delicate ecosystem like the
Baltimore Harbor in between your legs. Tides are coming in,
tides are coming out. Be gentle with her and see
me sometime now. Use guys, I'm so excited for our
(07:58):
first gap. Okay, I'm just really freaking jezzed to catch
up with this lady. She's my best thie from med
school and she is currently the lead obstetrician at Chicago
Hair Medical Center in Illinois, and she taught me about picklebacks,
so please give it a good old Parks tuck. Welcome
(08:20):
to doctor Francis. Just upp hi, oh stop, oh stop
it to my god, Franny, you look amazing. Stop you're
gassing me up. You're gassing me up, stopping amazing? Oh
thank you? I love you. Here did you get highlights? Um?
(08:41):
You know what I actually? Uh we went down to
Florida for kids midwinter break. You know how that goes,
You know what I mean, nice midwater break when they're
sort of like, uh, drive me up the wall, and
then I just say, it's midwinter break. Okay, not recognized
by the schools, but uh yeah, we're gonna drive down
to Florida. So we down Florida and I pulled lemon
(09:01):
juice on my hairstep by the pool five days straight.
I'm like, oh, well, it looks amazing. You look like
Kelly Clarkson. Oh my god, she should take over for Ellen.
Am I crazy for thinking that? Am I crazy for
thinking that? Kelly seems happy and Ellen seems sad and mad.
You know, it's not my place. It's not my place.
I remember when I went to a tape and of Ellen.
Oh yeah, that was so funny, fun fun. I think
(09:26):
you're in a bad mood and you didn't dance, and
then she kind of she kind of yelled at you
a little bit. Yeah, well, the thing was is that
they didn't put enough half and half in my coffee,
because you know how I like it. I like it
mostly dream and just like two pumps of coffee. But
they won't do that at the Fancy, you know, whatever
place we were at. So yeah, I wasn't dancing, and
nobody's gonna tell me what to do. I've had two kids, Okay,
(09:46):
I went to medical school. Okay, I got like four
letters after my name. I mean, that's how freaking educated
you too. Nobody's gonna tell a doctor to dance. Well,
I also think the thing is like you're in a
position that it's a lose lose because you dance, you know,
you get sort of like uh, you know, jabbed. They
work kind of like saw you dancing, which you don't dance,
(10:07):
and then all of a sudden, Ellen's kind of well,
she gave you the kind of devil ie, you know
what I mean. But you know what, we got a
cracker bearra gift certificate out of it, and it was
worth it. I mean I'll oh, it was so worth it.
I know, that was an hysterical trip. That was a hysterical.
It was hysterical. It was hysterical. I mean you and me,
(10:28):
you mean want me together. It's a last riot. It's
kind of a stand back, you know situation. You and
I walk in and you see you see the bart
Oh no, oh no, basically bartown there. What about our husbands?
You and I are down the shore together and h
we walk home from shopping, you know, Pandora, we got
all our backs. Both of our husbands were like, oh no,
(10:49):
oh no, Well that trip to the shore was one
for the ages, because you know, I never see nothing
like the shore before in Chicago. It's sort of just like, uh,
you know, you got some rocks and then the lake
course and then I go to shore and it's like
a ferris wheel. Okay, yeah, you know we got that
(11:10):
a navy pier. But but but I think the reason
that we are such who is because we're just hysterical
when we're together. But his work hard, play hard. You know,
it's a it's you put the hours in and then
and then you know, you know it's like, uh, you know,
we worked seventy two hours straight and residency, and then
it was like okay and uh am I going to bed? No,
(11:31):
we're going to hog wild blackout. I don't want to remember.
I don't want to remember the residency, and I don't
want to remember who I was going out which And
that's what he makes that's your favors and Brianny, Wow,
that's what you meant, Bill, I do want to say that, Bill.
Oh gosh, these last two years with Bill I just
got it's been. It's been a real sort of funky
(11:52):
time with us. You know, his mother's living is now
no yes, no, yes, no, No, mother's living with us,
and of course she takes our room right A sleeping
in the den? Are you? Because you got a beautiful den?
But it is it on a bedroom? You know, I
got two boys, so I'm sure in a bed with
(12:14):
a thirteen year old, which uh do not recommend? Okay,
oh god? Does it is? This? Is this a this
is a bed? Vibrate? Or are we dealing with a
Are we dealing with a thirteen year old mendman who
just don't watch a little bit too much euphoria? Yeah?
Well no, we don't let him watch that crap. We
don't let you know. They get into it. We we
we programmed television, so they only get two channels. Oh really,
(12:37):
because Marcus told me that he watched it with him yours,
Marcus watch it with Triff, Yeah, he said, guys, that
were you in Triff there? He said, we're watching euphoria.
I don't know it's on my HBMX. Okay, watching at
their friend's house, Branny, they watch it at their friend's house.
There's nothing you can do about it. They watch at
their friend's house, the friend being my son, Marcus. And
(13:00):
you're letting that happen in your house. That's trash. It's trash,
it's portographic. I saw one billboard for it, and I said,
that's portographic. Ranny. I am an ob g y N
and a sexual health educator. We got industrial buckets of
lube and medical dildos all over the house. Okay, you
might as well see it with some nice lighting. Okay,
(13:21):
I mean, look, I'm sex positive, of course, but what
they're peddling in you for it is just I mean,
when I was a teenager, I look like a fucking toe,
and now it's like they got the beautiful I've seen
pictures of you. You look like a toe with long hair.
I had really long hair. You had that here you
(13:41):
weren't you were afraid to cut it was that the
thing here, you had that whole thing. Well, I'm afraid
to cut your hair. I was scared to I thought
it was good luck. I you know, I had hey
touch of the OCD growing up, and I saw my
hair was good luck. And uh, I thought if I
cut it there, well, you know it's it's it's a burden,
it's a blessing because you you know, you kept washing
your hands all the time, and now you're a doctor,
(14:03):
you know. So it kind of worked out. Not everything
was based in logic. I thought if I cut my hair,
my parents would die. I mean that went through. But
I guess what you cut? You cut your hair. And
now your mother in law I was living with you.
Oh so oh she's well, you know she'd lived with
us because she threw her back up when she was
(14:25):
taking the Christmas lights down. Why is she doing that?
That's what I said. I say, Christmas lights become Martygaraw
lights become Easter lights become for her, July lights become
Halloween lights. Genius, genius, you know they got these ones
at Amazons you can get them or Walmarts and you
just turn the dial and you got you got multi
color for Christmas. You turn her just thread and you
(14:46):
turn it just the purple. Oh, I'm all about it,
about it, I'm all about it. That's genius. I mean,
I wish they had that when we were kids. That's genius.
That's genius. That's genius. The stuff they gone on Amazon.
I thought the other day there's a blanket with holes
in it so that you can still text, oh wearing
the blanket. Oh, yes, my gosh, genius. You know. I
(15:09):
like to try and support local, but sometimes I'm just like,
it's gonna come in a day, Okay, a new set
of sheets will come tomorrow, which you know why i'd
be needing my house because I got thirteen year old,
eleven year old blimy. I just went bob rubber sheets
at Boskov's the other day for Marcus, because I'm not
sleeping with him, but I know what he's doing. Well.
(15:31):
I mean, it's just sort of like, is it I'm
paying for convenience because you know my hours it's through
the roof. It's crazy, you're doing overnights you're doing overnights
and also guess what, you know what also comes in
the day babies. Right, we're just constantly getting called into
the unit. You know. I don't know if you've you
(15:51):
face this, but h over it all hair. I mean,
it's crazy. I've never seen more kids. And I was
thinking like, Okay, yeah, there's gonna be a lull because
who wants to you know, kick it with the person
You've been hanging around the house all day and then
all of a sudden enormous influctations. Yeah. Great. I'm reading
all these articles and there's I know, the birth rate
(16:13):
is down and you know women today don't want to
have kids. And I'm like, uh, where because that's where
I want to open up my practice. Yeah, because a
woman's in Delaware. People are banging and they are multiplying.
I'm seeing now women with four or five kids. I'm like,
this is this is where is two thousand and twenty
two at this point, like this is not you know, nine,
(16:34):
I see a woman twenty or five kids and I
want to shaker and say, don't you know you don't
have to do this? No more? Don't you know you
don't have to do this? No more. You know something
that that there really is a sort of getting Michael Is.
I'm seeing kinda believe it or not, kind of like
fit dads coming in now and fit dads. But then
(16:56):
the the mom has you know, they they got three kids,
and I see a fit dad. If I see a
fit dad, I say, uh, let's lose the time at
the gym and teach the kids how to read. And
you know what I say about a guy with a
dad bod, Oh you got a dad bot good dad.
Every single father in my family, every single father in
(17:16):
my family had a beer gut that made him look
like he was in his third trimester. And that's a
good father. Same with when men have hobbies, I'm like,
must be nice. No, we're no, No, I'm sorry, you're
forty year old man, and now you're gonna learn how
to like race cars? Like what's happening? Oh my god,
don't even get me started on the cycle dads. Every
(17:39):
single weekend, I see these skinny, skinny guys going through
White Clay Creek State Park. Oh, they think they're tour
to France. I honestly get really close to them in
my car on purpose, you know, And then I shout
out to them. Does your kid know how to read good?
Toe the line, Toe the line, toe the line. I
mean I couldn't. It's just crazy. I mean I see these,
(18:02):
you know, buying leagues and these like I see. I mean,
if Bill had a hobby, I would kill him. I
would kill him. Oh well, I wish my Patrick had
a hobby, because, oh my god, Patrick is always asking
me to go on a nature walk with him or
telling me that, oh, I'm making homemade sushi to night.
(18:22):
I know it's your favorite when you coming home and
I'm just like, could you please get a little baby
bike and go up a hill? I mean I would die.
But you know, our relationship is different. Our relationship is different.
I mean, he's such a sweetheart. I couldn't. I mean,
I couldn't want a nicer guy for you. You've always
(18:44):
had a crush on Patrick, and I love it. I'm flattered,
I swear. Okay, the listeners there know this. Okay, So
in medical school, Okay, so you and I went them
out of school to gather at University of the Dollar. Yeah,
of course, of course, which is cool because you were
kind of like an international student being from Chicago. I mean,
my gosh, it's like that thirteen hour drive might as
(19:07):
well have been from Chicago to Quait. It was josper No,
it's a totally different world down here, Delaware is a
totally different world. That's why people don't understand. So you
met Patrick, Patrick meets Franny, okay, and this is a
funny story. And he's just talking to her all night
and he's saying the most app He's saying her, Oh,
your culture is so interesting, your your your voice is
(19:31):
so exotic. Oh, you're telling him these words like you're
saying him like what do you what do you use?
Guys call sausage, sauceage, sausage and peppah, what do I
call a sausage? I don't know? A pizza puff? What
do I though? He's saying, He's saying to you, like
how deep is the dish of the pizza? You know,
(19:54):
you're telling him words like brought. You're telling him word
brath brot, brat brat. Sure, okay, somebody has another coffee. Well,
I think of a sausage and if brad is two
different things, I see, I do know. I'm not French, No,
I know brat Brat's Yeah, I mean, Patrick was a
real sweetheart. You know, he was just humor and me.
(20:16):
I know he I know he thinks that I'm just
like this sort I'll like, I know he still asks
about you. He's still asked about you. And he loves
your accent. Oh yeah. At one time I just said them,
I said, Patrick, he love her accent. He said, I
think it's one of those sexiest things I'd ever heard.
He was a couple of sangree is in that was
down the shore. Remember that night when we got in
(20:37):
the hot tub, things came close. Oh my gosh, I oh,
I was so embarrassed. I I mean, I was never
gonna be on a bikinia. I'm Patrick's all. I just
went in in my pajamas. Oh my god. And then
of course I can do embarrassed, ask for a new sad.
Just slept him too that once. I mean, that's it's
it really is. Patrick is a dang sweetheart, that's all say.
(20:59):
And you know he's just like Bill's just kind of
a bump on a log. No, I love Bill at
this point, He's just his couch. This guy. No, Bill
is so great and he knows how to do all
of that like stuff with cars, and he's always like
pinkerin and like hanging up a shelf. God, I would
(21:20):
kill for Patrick to hang up a shelf. You know,
he has his projects, he has he has his a
little um around the house fix er uppers. But of
course you know those are to varying degrees of success.
I mean a three legs table. I mean the bookshelf
killed the cat. The books down kill the cat. The
bookshelf squashed the cat. I mean host to say, I
(21:43):
I we don't know if it was the cat's fault
or not. I mean, but the book Sunrise Sunset. That's
what I always say. You know, in the medical profession,
we have a phrase, Sunrise Sunset. Yes, everybody's gonna die,
even cats. Yes. And you know, between me, me and you,
the cat it gave me nothing in return. I'm a
(22:04):
dog girl, through and through the cat. The cat tuk
tuk tuk and was better than me, and we all
knew it. And I literally was born a dog and
a cat makes me uncomfortable. So who was to say
what happened with the bookshelf. But yeah, the boys, they
had crackodile tears for about two hours. Then we went
to Giordano's and all of a sudden, cat who Okay, Okay,
(22:29):
well I think actually, uh, since you're here, and since
you're one of the best damn baby bringers I ever
Damn no, I mean this woman with the four sps.
I mean, it's like it's like watching It's like watching
a master at work. Okay, it's like watching Oprah with
Tom Cruise. I mean, you just know what you're doing.
You just know what you're doing. So on partstock, people
(22:51):
send in there are questions anomalously and we're gonna answer him.
And I figure because I got my smartiest gall pal
with most stop oh stop that out, we would answer
some questions. So this episode is actually about a STDs.
You ever had one? I got pubic lice even though
I had no pubes. Wow, you're a medical marvel. Okay.
(23:14):
They should be going kind of on the like on
the folds. They were burrowing on the fold T I remember,
and uh yeah, one of the guys in our in
our class that the paper on you pures. He put
pictures but he left my name out, but my face
was there and I was in the class. Okay, So
(23:35):
our first question comes from coded Eddie and he says, yeah,
you see what he did there. Yeah, okay, I'm a
freshman at Temple and everybody in my dorm has been
arguing about this for months. What is the coolest STI
you can get? Okay? I just want to clarify that
(23:57):
getting an STI is not a competition. It's not and
the long term health risks. You know, they have an
untreated infection. They give me serious that being said, what's
your answer because minus syphilis? Oh wow, okay, because syphilis,
that's like a classic sort of it's rare. Okay, it's
(24:19):
kind of like, oh, you know who else had syphilis?
Christopher Columbus. Wow, No, kind of like kind of like
sins the beginning. Yeah, syphilis is kind of like getting gout.
Syphilis is the is the key is the King's STI.
That's sort of like, yeah, a real classic one. I see.
I was gonna go just go with yeast infection because
(24:39):
it means you're doing it. I mean, look, we've both
gotten them from just In and went underwear. I know
that's ford percent. I mean you got a rage in
one once you were in the hot of in your pajamas.
Oh my, you know, it was just sort of and
also U I would say yeast infection because it means
you're down and dirty and it's all s to happen in.
(25:01):
And also I would say he suffection because you can
get it even while you use in protection. It's also
a sad one though, because you know, comes when you
don't pee after sex, which I think, I'm just like,
why don't for the listeners out there, the listeners he
after sex. If you take one thing away from this podcast,
(25:21):
piss after you get it, you know what? And I
pissed before and during. I mean, I'm not taking any risks.
I'm just sort of it's fish from giving the end. Really,
that's you and Bill's business. That's you in Bill's business. Look,
it's just that's my answer. You subfection means you're going
(25:43):
at it. But uh, I think you're right and it's
easy to hear. Rif cranberry juice, my god, oh my god.
Ocean spray. Yeah, doctor prescribed me ocean spray. Okay, Yeah,
I'm gonna write you a prescription for kombucha. Okay, get
that good that good flora in there? Yeah? Oh yeah, okay,
(26:05):
So next question, go Eagles ninety one rights. Okay, I'm
a thirty four year old who lives in Concho hawking,
and I'm sort of a hypochondriac. Will I have better
protection if I wear a condom all day every day? Also,
what's the most amount of condoms I can wear at once? Okay?
(26:28):
Now this is this is interesting because I don't think
you can put a condom on a soft one. Oh no,
I've seen it happen. Oh No, that that feeds a
whole purpose because like it's not going to be able
to do any pumps, right, because that's like, is that
like putting an infant in a sleeping bag putting the
(26:52):
condom on a soft one? I mean, look, I'm just
a doctor. I don't know that I've seen that. But um, okay,
so I would say we're in it all day. That's
too much, that's crazy, that's crazy. They need to You
just need to put one on when your heart is
a rock and it's about to you know, do it's
think aka go in aka. The mast is up and
(27:16):
we are full sales ahead, you know what I mean? Though,
I will say I did have a patient who um
got chlamydia from sitting on a toilet seat. Say her
answers that anything can happen. Well, you know, I couldn't
believe what I say. Are you saying, what's the point
of condoms? Well, I'm just saying it's good to be prepared,
(27:40):
because no, I mean, obviously, this girl, she she got
it from sitting on a toilet seat at a bachelor party.
So I don't know why why was she hit the
bachelor party. She ate in the bathtub because she was
worried her fiance would cheat, so she was there and
(28:02):
that's how she got the clamdity because she was worried
that her fiance. Chat say, she definitely didn't get it
from his sheet. Now, she actually got it from the
bathroom finding kind of like a euphoria. I know you
don't watch it, but there was a very famous scene
where a woman hidden bathroom. Oh gosh, I haven't seen it,
(28:24):
but you know, I'm I'm praying it's it's the one
with the knockers. But even though they an't got badiadiadasai
mean no shame. Yeah no, but when you say knockers,
we all know what you mean. Every next question, I
think we gave good advice. Next question, yeah, okay, self,
Pepper cutch Up says long story short, I spend an
(28:47):
hour and a half on the toilet at Jimmy John's
in new Ark. It was a real mess. It looked
like the bathroom of saw. I'm there, can I get
an STI from a tolilet seat? Answered that, I'm sorry,
I really can. Oh my gosh, I'm sorry. I didn't
know that that that There's gonna be another question about
(29:09):
toilet seat. Okay, well, I think it's a common question,
so I guess my answer would be maybe you can,
or maybe you think you got your STI from the
toilet seat, but you really got it from your no
good cheating partner who is a wander and eye. Look.
I think the the simplest answer is always the right answer,
(29:31):
even though it's the then the answer you you might want.
But h it's a I mean the toilet and norc
I would say, just well, I'm I don't know how
they spelled it because it's Newark, so is it Newark
Beller or is it Newark, New Jersey? Because some genius
(29:51):
decided to name this town Newark, and then they were like, oh,
I like Newark. I'm gonna name this town Newark, but
I'm gonna pronoun ounce it like Newark, okay, which is
so confusing. I mean, like I'm trying to take Amtrak
home because you know, i'd sometimes do in the Newark
station even though I live in Wilming them because of
the traffic, it's easier to go on Rushing Hill anyway,
(30:13):
you know, yeah, park and park and ride. All of
a sudden, I'm right by where they filmed Super Nuts.
Oh yeah, it's happened to me a couple of times.
I you know, the job and the hours are so
demanding that any sort of one time sort of guy,
I fell in the al tracks because I was because
(30:35):
I was exhausted. Because I was exhausted, fell in the
al tracks. You know, I was Franny More. I'm sure
it wasn't a you know, right after you had Becky
and you're you kind of had the blues. Well, look,
because I remember some of those calls and some of
those dark days. It's all everything's a temptation. Okay. Every
(30:58):
day I leave my house and I think, hey, today
I could be a gunner. And you know, sometimes I
get home and I say, toaster in the tub. You know,
but I definitely shame in the baby blues. I mean,
I know, I know some women, myself included, I've had
postpartum depression. I still have it in the kids a teenager,
you know. I think there needs to be sort of
(31:20):
just like a new term for just being sad that
you have kids. I mean, is it all postpartum, well
apartum until when I smell another research article. I smell
our next publisher parish, I smell our next medical journal entry.
I was writing something that I finally bailed on, called
(31:40):
midwives who needs Them? And then it was sort of like, okay,
I mean it's just funny. I mean, like a whole
new profession of someone over my shoulder given sort of
like encourage in words, I'm like, gonna get me started.
We were talking the other day on the podcast about
Dula's I'm just gonna say it. If they don't smell
like we, they look like weed. I just think, like,
(32:04):
I mean, I need sort of a coach there. I
don't need like Lana del Rey, you know, I need
sort of like a Bobby Knight chucking a chair at me.
I don't need sort of like a kind of ful
fu kind of attitude. I'm like, get down to business.
It's now never okay, should we keep doing these questions? Yeah,
(32:25):
this one's a good one. Okay, okay, okay, this one
says no name lazy says, I'm at the doctor's office
filling out paperwork. How do you spell gone? A rhea?
Oh lord, oh, this is a good one. Well we
had that sort of I that the kind of song
(32:46):
to remember how to spell? It's okay, okay, it's gee definitely.
He starts with G yes, sort of like a oh
to this to the tuna roll your ball, wasn't it
g g g oh? And oh and then it's confused.
(33:10):
It's confused. And actually, when you think about it, because
I think we're not ge no. I write this down
every single day. I write this down almost every single day.
I know I spell this word ge ge oh. And
oh oh, what's next? Gone or r r h e A. Okay,
(33:38):
we did it. Okay, that was a good one. Okay,
so um, I got I got a question for you.
What what what STI does? Ben afflea class? I no
know which one does he have? Ganeria girl? I'm freany.
That's good. That's funny. Franny. That's hysterical, like Gone Girl,
(34:02):
like the book in the movie. I mean, it's just something.
I mean, you're gonna tell that one at the conference. No,
they're not gonna let me do that again. Last year
we went too crazy. Last year we went to work hard,
flavor hard, you know. But you know what they're getting into.
Oh yeah, yeah, we show up at the medical conference
(34:24):
together and that we're seeing all of our colleagues and
they I know, I know. No. No, by the way,
by the way, you know what they charge me for
the chair? No, yes, they charged me for the chair?
How much thousand dollars? No, the chair was not worth
a thousand dollars. You made it. You up the value
by what you did, do it on it. I couldn't
(34:45):
believe it. I got invoiced and I was just like whatever, okay,
gall the nerve the goal ended up losing money that weekend,
That's all I'll say. Well, would you lose you gained
in life experience. Okay, yeah, okay, all right, So this
next question, this is our last question. Actually, this next
one is from home husband and it has a picture
(35:08):
attached to it. Oh all right, don't open attachments. Don't open.
Well I already did. Oh it's says is this a
general award or an ingrown here, and can you please
come home and check the dog missus. You God, David,
This one is from Patrick. This is Patrick's a little
(35:28):
downtown pimple. I know, I recognize that little salt pepper
bush that is adorable. First of all, my god, my god,
that's adorable. I mean, Cassy, that picture you're gonna actually, yeah,
look at it. Oh yeah, I'm bording right now. What's
your email address? It's Diva smurfh Weld. I know I
(35:51):
have it your email at Frank Diva Smurf Diva Smurf
Franny at yahoo dot hotspot. Okay, yeah, I got it
right in there. Word of the picture. That's my work email,
you know. Oh yeah, I gotta keep it professional. But
you know, it's always hard to tell between a word
and an ingrown hair. And I just say, treat them
(36:12):
the same, you know, yeah, just sap them, just freeze
them off, freeze them but ice for the ice cube
bottom for our ninety minutes, and then knock them off
with a hammer. Yeah. Well, no, Patrick, he's going to
get real excited about me being down there with a
nice cube from down the shore. You remember from down
(36:33):
the shore, the things we tried, I mean, my dad
if but oh gosh, yeah, well, you know, while the
kids are playing video games, like who knows what the
parents will get up to. That's all I have to say.
H I mean, you're down the shore, this Angria is flowing.
You know, you got a bunch of salt water taffy
right by the hot tub. That stuff's going everywhere, you
(36:57):
know what. I wonder if kids are doing these days.
There was a lot of food play when we were,
you know, in our Sexual Awakening, it was like tray
it with pop rocks, tray with that. Yeah. Well, Jessica
Simpson was like selling body butter that tasted like cinnamon sugar.
Do you mean that there were people are supposed to
put at hu house for a blowjob? Is that true?
(37:19):
That's crazy. I just remember reading a lot of articles
that were like, first put doctor pepper in her mouth,
then put a junk in there. I'm like, what the
hell that's like the that's a good way to get
yourself a yeast infection. I don't know if kids are
using food. I think kids wised up now. Well I
hope not, because if you're using food, just make sure
(37:42):
that it's something that is good for your ecosystem down there,
like a yogurt or a komboocha some nice fauna. Because
you get too much sugar, you get you get anything
with spice down there. You know, even if you go
to Buffalo Wild Wings, then you just eat your girl out.
I mean, that's a disaster weight in a hap happen.
Think about think about just filling your mouth with yogurt,
(38:05):
lying down and just having Patrick Bob's thing in there. Well,
it's been amazing at you of the podcast. Great does
any God? I miss you and India and answer my
email about the shorehouse this yere. Oh, I gotta check dates.
I gotta check dates to check daser in summer school
because blah blah blah. I mean, I gotta check dates. Yeah,
(38:26):
I just well back, okay, Well, love you, love you,
I love okay, love you so much. Hide to the
kid's hie to bell Oh Santa Patrick, Okay, Bye. Well
that's all the time we have for today on Parts Talk.
Thanks again to my guests doctor Francis GISEPPI, God love you.
(38:47):
I next all of yous for sending in questions about
your weird weird parts. We'll see youse listeners next week
on parts talk,
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