Sharelle & Alexis react to Coco’s Gauf historic win over the weekend and how the opponent tried to throw shade in the press conference, Brittany Renner & Kevin Gates are already divorced and we finish it up with some Humble Baddies mail and much more!
Timeline:
01:38 - Introduction
10:00 - Coco Gauf
24:26 - Brittney Renner & Kevin Gates
47:30 - Humble Baddie questions
59:11 - Humble Baddies mail
(Timestamps may vary based on advertisements.)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I get in my way, never out of my name.
It's been like you one and the more one, so
it is gonna be.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Baby Squadya Hi queen.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
How you doing, mister Elle? I am amazing. You know.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
It's one o'clock in the morning where I'm at. So
I took me a little nap.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
And hold it down.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Good good, I'm holding it down. Lit's say, it's a holiday, Okay, yeah,
it was holiday. It's a Muslim holiday. I don't know
what holiday it is, but it's a Muslim It's been
going on all week. But it's no, don't give me
to start.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
I don't want to be disrespectful.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Yeah, but I celebrated, Yah, had me some drinks, took
me a little nap, and I'm up and ready for
night camp. I mean, of course that is not a
Baddy's podcast. My ass over here talking about like, yeah,
it should be nine camp part two. The way we
we we are capping you know, the evenings and then
(01:04):
all right, festivities.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
How have you been my love girl?
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Just really this externship has been really interesting over the
past weekend.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
I was challenged to.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Make a dessert and something that I could leave once
I'm done with my ex apprenticeship with this ro and
left shout out to them. Once I leave, then it's
you know, something there that has my name is signature
on there. And so I proposed a bread pudding with
the blueberry compote and used ingredients that we have already
(01:44):
on hand, and it came out phenomenal and the owner
loved it, and I sold my.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
First one during brunch.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
So it was just you know, it's it's just an
exciting feat for me and just a passion just ignited.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
And I'm so happy.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
And girl, I've been holding down to four point one
five GPA on President's List and I'm just on the
last you know, a couple of weeks of this and
I'm done. I mean, i can't believe this journey is here.
So I'm just proud. I don't wait by so fast.
It's no, it's crazy because you know, I was I
was actually in culinary school while we were filming, and
(02:23):
so I went from the show and so like, yeah,
so like to be juggling all these jobs and all
these you know, passions and really trying to show up
be a mother and also just like a friend.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
It just it just shows my resilience and shows like.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
My just my energy behind that we can accomplish anything
that we set our mind to. And I just am
grounded and just this energy and this faith of just
really just accomplishment.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
So I'm happy. You know, I'm proud of myself and
here we are. I'm proud of you too.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
I cannot wait to come back home so you can
cook me a full courtse nail.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
We have some girl talk and I just stuffed.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
My fence come to Consolects because yeah, but you know,
I need you to get that passport st to hit
that global entry and come back from home. Okay, And
that's what I need from my girls, so I can
give you some love.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Come back. I don't want to come back, you know.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
I know shit while you're playing, find me some man
out there, because I see Calice, I fair.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Buying a land. You know, I need. I need some
garden space.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Can I get some garden space that just looks at
some ocean or maybe the mountain?
Speaker 1 (03:35):
I don't know something.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Some help me out, Okay, I need to know where
I need to go to the land. Okay, Lex, I
love it here. It's like I just have been. I'm
just a queen here. I don't even have to love that.
You should.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
I just should.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
I just press one button and everything is taken care of.
But she just her, and I'm happy for you. And
keep pushing that button because that's what we need, okay,
and give them a love.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Yes, but I've been good.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
I have one more week here and then go to
Paris for the concert. So I'm going to see Beyonce
long than the flight is that from here back it's
like six hours, but I live like it's a red
out flight.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
So yeah, that's personal at all. Yeah, I'm back this way,
you know exactly.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
So I just said, send it my stage and I'll
just leave them here to Paris and then I'll be
back good and then you know, yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
I love. I love a lone distance type of thing.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Yes, I think that's a you know why, it's a
great thing because to be respectful of your household and
their household. Old everyone in our stage of life has
their own going on, you know that.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
That's what we attract. Yeah, that's what we receive and
what we give to.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
So respectfully, I don't want anybody coming here telling me, Look,
you know, I'm sorry. I'm gonna come up in here
and change some stuff up and I'm like, no, this
is what I bring to the table, this is who
I am, and I respect you you on.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Your side, I couldn't do that, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
And if you establish yourself somewhere else, that's where your
essence is, that's where your vibe is, that's where your
foundation is, that that's where your family is, that's where
your work, your livelihood is. And we can you know,
I love that fact that. It's like absence makes the
heart grow fonder. So it just keep me curious, you
know what I mean. So at the same point, you
got your job, you got your lucky your whole existence
(05:50):
in a different city, and whomever else, so do they
and so like respectfully, look, we'll see each other in
past and crossing and past.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
I feel like it's just more fun that way. It's
so much fun. I love it here. I love it.
I love it for you too.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
But other than that, travel Linda, I have some exciting news.
I'm about to lunch my my weighted blanket line. It'll
be coming out soon. It's called Stillness Blankets. So a
lot of people know I suffer from PTSD and anxiety.
So my sleep pattern is just off. So without my
weighted blanket, I don't sleep good. So I was like,
(06:28):
I need to come out with my own line. I
know necessary and just you know, just immerse it. So
I put a little tweet out there and I told
people you would be amazed how many people sleep with
weighted blankets.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Use weighted blankets to sleep.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Athletes, children suffer from anxiety adults. So I'm excited about that.
I remember you telling me about that a little bit ago,
and I'm just proud of you that it just came
to fruition. And now it's you know, a tengent for
me when you say, way to bait blanket?
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Is it? Are we able to travel with it? You can?
So I have it's different sizes.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
I have a ten ten pounds, twelve pounds, and fifteen pounds,
but you can because the kids that mind come in.
It comes with the little travel case. But it's sick,
it's not you can't take it on the I don't
think you can take it on a plank because it's
a little heavy. But yeah, just taking a long distance flights,
(07:31):
you know what I mean, a home away from home.
You want to snuggle, you want to be comfortable, You
want that nice hug from that weighted blanket.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
You know what I mean? Look at me.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Were selling them already. You know what I'm saying. You
know what a meaning gonna get that.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
So I'm gonna send it. I'm an send you sampo.
I need to just sit out for me.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Let me know before you know, I display so I'm
super excited I got you. Other than that, just get
into it. Let's get into it. Our girls actually not
here today. She went to Vegas with her husband. They
live in their best life. I sent her message. I
was like, Ashley, you and Phil are starting to look
(08:09):
alike now y'all been together too long, she said. Over
time you start looking like your significant other, especially if you've.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Grown up together.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
You start sounding like having those mannerisms and very much,
you know, just a lot of similarity.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
So shout out to Phil and Ashley for twenty yads.
So we're gonna get into that.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Stop shout out our humble batty of the week, go
to our girl Coco Golf. She won the French Open,
setting the record. She just made history about winning the
French Open. But while we're celebrating, some folks out here
are throwing shade so we're gonna talk about why black
women wins get minimized and how Coco continues to rise
(09:00):
with grace under pressure.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Did you see what her opponent had to say? I did.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
I'm an avid tennis spectator. I like to go to
the Miami Open. I've been to the French Open, and
I've been to I've been also in London as well,
So like, I love tennis, I've always been a fan
obviously of Serena Venas, Coco, just all all of.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Us in our essence.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
You know, it's one especially being in Paris, in France
or whatever. It is a very bougie, snobby, you know,
preppy sport, and you know it's an adjustment. So one
the fact that we got our good sister in there
showing up and showing it out and really being professional.
(09:49):
But she's also young too, write so I look at
it like she is holding her own and I'm so
proud of her.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Now with her opponent said, I know she did.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Back and now say it was very much like she's apologizing,
but she stood.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
She was very.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Emotional evil Hey we're wet, but she definitely was like
you know, blamed it on win conditions and x Y
and Z. But when you're in a competitive sport such
as tennis and say, you know, to outdoor sport, and
the fact that you're up against your opponent under the
same conditions, it is not necessarily like you have an advantage.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
She has advantaged. I'm both there. You know, this is
a competitive.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Sport outside, so it is fair game, and it is
a competition at the end of the day, and the
best person who is going to be the best competitor
is going to win.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
And Coco one hundred percent did.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
And shame on her opponent for really not giving her
her props and really you know, pushing her ford. But
I command Coco on her response of just saying, you know,
I know she's believable. I know what it's like to compete,
but you know it is Coco time. Let her thrive,
let her shine, and you go girl exactly.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
I'm so proud of Coco.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
She's only twenty one years old, already a champion, champion
one just yeah, she just carried herself with so much
grace and confidence and you can't teach that.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
It's like God given. So that's Coco.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
I feel like, you know, she's also had some amazing
mentorism on the way too.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Like I just reposted this.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Little meme of her, like she went to the games
when she was younger, and then she's kind of behind
Venus Williams. So the fact that there's a role models
who always carried grace, who always will for themselves and
who were to be competitive but don't take no shit,
I feel like, you know, they put them on a
pedestal and it's been it's been amazing to witness and
(11:47):
watch over these decades. So shout out to Coco. She
is on her way and you know she a humble batty.
Yes my question, do we as a culture sometimes put
too much expectations on a young black star? I do
feel like we do sometimes just because I feel like
(12:10):
it's rooted in history of just a struggle to have
a name for ourselves and to be rooted in excellence.
We are marking our territory in so many realms, whether
it's sports, business, entertainment, all these realms, and we've always
been the most underpaid, We've always been the most you know,
looked over, and so you have to look at it
(12:32):
when you're on a stage like that, especially in tennis,
where it's you versus you. It's your good day versus
your bad day. Whether you're going to opponent or not.
It's a mental game. It's a mental space and you
have to be in your shape. So her discipline is
awesome in a lot of we have to be the
best because you know, athletically we are some of the
(12:53):
best athletes and we are just very much intelligent. So
it's a lot of pressure for us in general, and
then especially now with the influx of popularity of women's sports,
it's even more on a trajectory of now we're still
getting we're getting meals, we're getting paid.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Just how men.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Are getting paid. Well, it's getting coverage and insurance and
partners and spouses and you know, we're still in Pride month.
So the fact that you know, I look at the
w NBA for example, they have helped out with insurance
and health coverage for partners and spouses of same sex,
and it's pivotal in sports in general. Just the fact
(13:33):
that they are our opportunities. The fact is, ladies and
gentlemen are you know in the forefront. Yes, there is pressure,
but we would would pressure produces diamonds and just so
you know, we are worth in every sport that we accomplished.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
So it is hard, you know, but at the same
time we can handle it. That's true.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
I feel the same way. I feel like we expect them.
I feel like we expect them to be perfect on
the court and interviews with their image everything. But they're
still growing up in front of us, so we got
to give them space to be able to be a human.
Like we just put too much on them at the
early age, and it's it's.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
It's not right.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
I agree with you, Charelle, especially like even our children
they're athletic, so like we see the pressure parents are
now with kids that are little league and look like thirteen, twelve,
eleven years old. You know, it's just I think it's
just a sports thing in general of pushing your kid
or whether it's just being the best.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
We are in America.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
I know for a fact that we are definitely the
ones that are like land of Opportunity. We're very sports driven,
We're very much like competitive, and you know, it can
get that out of hand in middles So I agree
with you, Yes, why do people struggle to give black
women full credit? Because I felt like during you know,
(14:56):
with her upon it, you know, said what she said,
it was all excuses. Instead of saying, you know, a
win is a win, congratulate her, you were making every excuse.
He said, she didn't play her best, but she beats you.
Why is it so hard and so much a struggle
to give black women full credit?
Speaker 1 (15:15):
We're we are just because we're I think Malcolm.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
X said it best when we are the most underrepresented
and also disrespected.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
People on earth.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
You know, this is the black female Yet we are
the We have the most homes that we've owned, were
the most educated, and we also are some of the
most spending marketing dollars as well as being entrepreneurs. So
at the end of the day, to me, it's always
gonna the cream always rises to the top.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
So we are a force.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
I mean, I look at Oprah Winfrey and Oprah Winfrey
for example, I saw the Forbes list of self made
female billionaires and she is up there, and so kudos
are her for really, you know, exemplar eximplifying what it
means to be in your essence of who we are,
and you know, shout out to all of our CEOs
(16:08):
and our boss women and our humble bodies across the globe.
You know we are forced to reckon with and I'm
a proud black woman.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
I know you are too, And you know we are
just sitting in our essence of of our wing.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
You know, as you said earlier, you're a queen and
that's real. And the fact that we have to be
reminded of who we are. We know who we are,
but like we don't get it. You know, it comes
from a struggle of having to birth you know, slave
owners children and you know, be like the first obg
y ns and then it takes Then we if we
were lactating, then we're also breastfeeding, and we're nursing, we're
(16:45):
caring for and then we're also taking care of men
that are from war. We were the first nurses, and
we were the first every everything that you can imagine.
So you know, it is our time to shine, and
you know we gonna have it the hardest because we
are that essence.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
We birth tribes and the end it is real.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
And I also feel like we make everything look too easy.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
We make everything look too easy.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
So well, when you walk in the room with confidence,
there's always going to be somebody who needs to downplay
your shine to make themselves feel better. So it's like,
no matter what, we're always going to get some type
of something, some type of hate, hater ration, some type
of exactly. But I feel like we are the exception
(17:33):
to the arm right. Yes, I feel like she handled
it with grace.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
She did what she needs to do. How she responded,
That's my next thing.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
I feel like she you know, people, people were looking
for her to respond, but I feel like she shouldn't have.
Her response was winning. That's the biggest flex. So she
even have to address the shade her say talk Yeah,
I agree, very professional and you're right, her win was
(18:02):
all that needs to be talking talked about, and low
key silence is very powerful too, you know what I mean.
She didn't have to address her because it is her time.
It is her time to shine and it was not
about the opponent that did not win. So kudos for
Coco first standing, this showing up being the better competitor,
winning taking home that prize, showing out. She wrote, she
(18:26):
manifests this too. Is she showed in her one of
her posts that she was like, I will win, I
will win. So she's showing the power of benf the
station too and working hard. So yeah, I'm with you
with that, Sharrell exactly my question to you, Lex, I
know I've experienced it. Have you ever experienced someone minimizing
your win? Of course, every day I feel like we
(18:51):
are in not only in competition with others, but ourselves,
and unfortunately it be our own people.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
I just it's tough at times, but at the same time,
that resilience is there and it's embedded. I look at
it like I mean, we see it in friendships, to
see it in partnerships, we see it in business.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
And you know, it's just like.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
I mean, I had to deal with that a long
time before I even got married. Oh you just the
baby mama, or you just behind the scenes, or who
are you anyway? And you know, it comes a time
when it is your time to shine and and we
and we were, And it's just about patience and really
just stand the course and really just following your heart
(19:37):
and your dreams and anything as possible.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
That's true, I feel. What about you?
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Yeah, I feel the same way all the time in business,
really in life. You know, people love to say, oh
it's easy for you. They don't but they don't understand.
They don't see the grind behind the scenes. I've learned
not to even engage in things like that because they
don't know what we've been through.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
What you know, how hard it is.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
We may, like I said before, we make it look
so easy, but don't minimize what we've been through just
because we make it look easy. Yeah, because it's like
an iceberg just underneath the surface. Okay, you don't see
just a little bit, all right, but there's so much.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Going on underneath. We are very hands on.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
We have our hands in so many different pots, and
we take care of so many people, and we also
want to bring others in too, So that's a lot
of energy, a lot of you know, just you know,
really just trying to be helpful at all time. So, yes,
you're just like a pretty face, a beautiful body. Oh
(20:46):
she's this, she's kept, she's this and that and whatever. Nah,
there's actually a lot going on behind all this.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
I'm just you know. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Yeah, So all advice to you, all humble baddies. They
gonna talk whether you win alose, so you might as
well keep winning.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Don't pass it to behave us.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Yeah, and to take away from this, you don't explain
your excellence to people committed to misunderstanding your shot.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
I know that's right. Thank you for that shure I heard.
Let's get into it the next one.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
So Brittany came out, and Brittany Renner came out about
her and Kendy Gates.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
So, you know, a couple of weeks ago she said
that they got married.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
She was super excited, which I was shocked because my
last thing I knew he was still married to drinking.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
But now she's talking about that, so let me read it.
Brittany Renner and Kevin.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Gates took a fast ride down the oul and even
a fastest trip to divorce court. We're unpacking world wind relationships, publicly,
spiritual healing, and whether following in her heart is always
the best move.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Because she did state it. You know she don't regret it.
She followed her heart.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Is there a such thing as moving too fast and love?
What the thing is? There's double edged short one. I
don't condone anybody moving on while you're in a situation
a marriage. I think that's a little tacky. But at
(22:33):
the same time, I feel like when people are ready
in their own way to people, do you. I mean,
I don't know how Islam works as far as I know.
I do know that you can have multiple wives. So
even if he is still married legally to Drinka, he
(22:54):
can have multiple unions and marriages as long as you
take care of the wife of the wives and the households,
meeting the children and everything else.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
So I do have it.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
She did very vocally say she followed her hurt, and
she did, and it was very much a public rendezvous.
And the fact that you know, and it's embarrassing, you
know at the same time that it was a quick
union and then a quick divorce. But at the same
time she stated the facts that in Islam it's a
(23:32):
nine need a waiting people. When you do have a marriage,
there's consensual acknowledgment of that, and then obviously you have
to consummate the marriage so she could be with child,
which in actuality he would have to care for in
her and this child as well.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
So and I love the.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Fact that she mentioned that, you know, you still are
not supposed to entertain another pis able to try to reconcile.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
I thought that was pretty dope.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
But at the same time, we are here to have
the human experience of love and failure. We're supposed to
enjoy one another. We're supposed to live amongst ourselves, and
we're supposed to choose, and everything in life we do
is a lesson, whether it's a blessing a lesson, so
(24:20):
they'll do better.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
So I feel I'm a lover. Y'all know that already.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
I'm very much a lover and follow your heart. But
there's ways of doing things. I do not condone cheating.
I do not control condone adultery. I do not condole,
condone lying, none of that kind of stuff. So I
also say, you know, you lose them higher.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
You get them. So you don't know a lot of
their history. I don't know personally.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
But at the same time, she is vocal about their
marriage and so they were in a partnership and here.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
We are, so I don't know. I mean, this is
a tough situation.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
It gets worse when of those children involved than in
other households and things like that.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
But you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
There's a lot of people who have you know, married
quickly and have still are still together. I know a
few couples actually that met one night stands or the
first week, got married quickly and.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Are still together. So it's all about timing.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Too, and if you find your person and find your
person and ball out, because we only have one life
to live and it comes with controversy obviously being public figures.
So that's all I can speak on with it as
far as that is concerned.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
What are your thoughts?
Speaker 2 (25:37):
I mean, I respect respect Britany for speaking her truth.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
But woof.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Days, listen, that's not a marriage. That's a trial period.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
It ain't even.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Hear kick in yet, interface even kick in yet. It
sounds cute, you know, following your heart or whatever, but
your heart can want something your mind knows better about.
So I mean, love is beautiful and everything, but it
(26:12):
has to be backed by wisdom at the end of
the day.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
So just going off of following your heart, you have
to think for it and be enough. It ain't enough,
you're right.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
Because it's like you get caught up in like the
fairy tale and that beautiful side of it, and then
you look up there's like there's bills, there's households, there's emotions,
there's nuances and things you're discovering about somebody and do I.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Really want to do with.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
That?
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Do I really like this person?
Speaker 2 (26:42):
And oh they snore or they were doing this you
really don't know somebody it.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Is that definitely leave once you start.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Man, it's a leap of faith, though, it's a leap
of faith, like, look, we're gonna decide to try to
make this grow every day, like I got to learn
something about you every day.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Yeah, that could be tough.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Some people felt like it was some people felt like
it was true love, and some people felt like it
was cloud.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
I think it was a little bit of both. I
think it was a little bit of both.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
So, you know, because social media amplifies everything to publicis
link up. It as pressure for you to move fast
and sure, we know because you know we're we're both
you know, public figures.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
But I feel like, you know, it was pressured a.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Lot due to them being publicly on social media a lot. Yeah,
I mean, and you're getting added people all up in
your business too. At the end of the day, like
you know it does. It does almost ring a bell
of I know when you say cloud as a thing.
But you know, sometimes you want your date to be
(27:48):
at you too, you know, somebody want to share these
memories with. I mean, it kind of poses a question
of do you really, you know, want your relationship to
be public. You know, you know what I mean, because
you would never ever see me in a public relationship ever, ever, ever.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Ever, ever.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
The only thing y'all see is what watch you wearing today,
whether it's the richimently one of the period. That's what
the custom friends race. You will never see me in
a public relationship ever. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Yeah, I feel like the people in your circle know
who you with. You know what I'm saying. They know
how you move in that is most important.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
It's not assumption because they will eat you up, spit
you out, throw you away, regurgitate you, and stomp on you.
So they you know, it's not a lot of love
with people who don't want to see you to be
want to see you happy, and everyone has an opinion
on your relationship being I would.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
Prefer a private situation too, Like.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
Obviously, if we're public figures and we get caught out
by the paparazzi or you know, people with their phones out,
that's a different story. But like at the end of
the day, I like to be speculated about. I like
to be keep that sense of privacy because you know,
once you walk outside of these doors, you're basically you know,
(29:15):
you're for everyone.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
You know what I mean. And you.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
Do want you to see the sacredness of a partnership
for sure, I know you do too.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
That's something we don't about.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
Yeah, because piece hits different when people don't have access
to your personal life. Some things are sacred and it
feels it feels good.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
That's a bar I think. Yeah, it was. It was
a far it was a part.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Like that.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
You got to keep everything.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
I learned that from pre you know, previous, previous situations,
previous relationships like it. Just it feels so much better
when you're just low key about everything. You don't have
to have let the world have access to everything.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
So they want to ruin it.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
They're not looking for the best, they're not making sure
you're happy, and think they don't know what's going on
behind closed orders, you know what I mean. We have
to deal with life, real life and blending and who
are we and growing with somebody and getting to know
them from a healed space.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
So yeah, no, that's true.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
So our advice for people who are feel like they
have to expose everything in these relationships that it has
to be public moves Mark, protect your peace and remember
real love don't need an audience.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Okay, cheers to that. Look, I got my water. I
got that too.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Our next thing, So I was on social media elects
and you know a lot of us have been have
been witnesses to it, and I've seen something and I
was like, this is something good. We did get some
mail about this same situation, but it was talking about,
you know, a ten year girlfriend versus a six month wife.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
Like, what is it called? I forgot what they call it.
I don't know. This is just a name.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
It's a name for someone who's been a girlfriend for
a longer, was practicing.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
Yeah, they was prepping him up. I forgot the name
and it hit back to me.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
But I was scrolling through social media and it was
so many things about it, so many people talking about it.
So we're talking about it may ruffle some feathers because
a lot of people, even myself, have been in this situation.
I can speak on it. When is a man ready
to move, like, you know, you've been in a relationship
(31:47):
for so many years, y'all break up. Then he get
in a new relationship and he ends up marrying this
person and they only been together for six months.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Yeah, wow, low key.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
I look at it like this, I feel like when
you know you know, so it's okay, and then you
don't know what.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
People's motives are too.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
It could be very much like I have a void
to feel I need to have somebody here or let
me take a chance on love.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (32:22):
I feel like I don't want to speak for you,
but I know you and we're very much open to
our partnership.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
You know what I mean? I did. We're not like
very much like I'll never be this again.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
We still even though we might have had you know,
ups and downs in past previous relationships, we still want
to be loved and we still want to give love.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
And because we're nurturers.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
And so with that being said, I feel like, especially
from a male perspective, and I obviously I am not
a man, but just knowing guy friends, he knew when
they were ready and so they were like regardless if
I was with someone tend to love years, I could
have been ready, but I wasn't, you know what I mean.
I wasn't where I was financially, I wasn't where I
(33:05):
was emotionally, spiritually, whatever. So whoever happens across that path
at that moment, it's going to get that man in
that space when he's ready to be that kind of
husband or that kind of partner.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
I stand firm in that. And that goes with us too,
as ladies.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
I know us, I'm speaking for you and asherill like
we're not going to propose to a man, you know
what I mean, Like we'll we'll let a guy do
his manly duties and do that.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
So like I'm saying that to the point of that,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Like I feel like when men are at a point
where they're like, look, I'm ready to svider, I'm ready
to be a caretaker.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
I'm willing to really be vulnerable and give them my
life to this woman. That could be any.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Time, it could be really later on in life, I
feel like, especially for our men.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
So I feel like it's just it's about timing, you know.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
And when a man is ultimately ready for whatever, he's
gonna do it, and he and everyone in the world
can be like, don't do it, reconsider you know, like
don't do it. But if that man has his mind
set up and it's like, look, I'm just this is
why I'm gonna take my leak, please go do it.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
That's true. I feel the same way.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
I feel like when a man is ready emotionally, financially,
and mentally, he don't play no games. He knows what
we want and he moves accordingly. It just sucks.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
You know. Some some women get.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Stuck in that situation where you know they they're with
this person. They go through everything with this person, and
even though this person cheeks does everything, and then you
know years have passed by and now they're ready to
settle down and you gave up on the situation. Now
they find somebody in there. It's like, Okay, I've done enough.
You know, I'm allay the great silence. Then you know
(34:49):
what I mean, I know what I'm capable of. I
know what I also you know, invested into, and you
know there's obviously a reason why me and my person
or whatever. I'm just speaking by myself didn't work out.
And I would sh you the best the next person.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
You know what I mean. I know that it didn't
work out with X, Y and Z.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
So it's just I'm a firm believer in alignment and
timing as well as being in both. People need to
be in a healed space of receiving and giving. So
whenever it's your time. It's your time, you know, and
be great.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Do you think like do women?
Speaker 2 (35:27):
Do you feel like women feel played when they go
through situations like this, Like, you know, I've been with
this person for seven and a half years, he left me,
and now he's with another woman and now he's already
proposed six months in and they're getting married. Do you
feel like that's ego? Yeah, it is, I do. That's ego.
(35:49):
That's that's ego. You know, we all we all were like, well,
I put in this, I worked hard.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
I invested in this man.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
For the awful net woman, fit for my you know,
whatever I put in.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
But at the end of the day, there's.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
A reason why y'all not together, and that person's gonna
have to figure that out on their own. It's their time.
So that again, people are in your life. There are a
reason for a season, and you can't look at it.
I know, I had learned that. I can't look at
it like, you know, oh, what is my return on
my investment? Nah, at the end of the day, it's
(36:26):
I don't regret shit because it is what it is.
I was supposed to be in this person's life. We
were supposed to have these times together, and we were
not supposed to continue this journey together.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
And that's okay.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
So when you get to a point of healing and
not being triggered by like things that relationship, you have
to remember like you prayed your way out of it,
you cried your way out of it. You mentally healed
your way out of a situation that was not for you.
So once we learned that and put ego aside, we
realized that, you know what, there's better out there. The
(36:59):
grass is bring and I'm a firm believer in that,
you know, like I believe in karma, I believe in
all these things, so come when it happens. Okay, Look,
I feel like the same thing. It's okay to feel her.
It's a it's a natural feeling. It is as women,
(37:21):
you shouldn't feel played. You were a chapter in his growth,
so you should be happy about that. You taught him
things he probably couldn't receive at the time. So just
know that it was you know, it was a chapter.
It had to end, but like you said, it's a
new chapter, and the.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Chapter gets better and better once you continue to that book.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
So just ladies, they don't forget right shroud. They're not
gonna forget. They don't forget.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
You done left to.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
Mark, okay, at the bay, left to your mark.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
Well, you don't highlight it every page that days on
the words okay. They can't do it like you always
remember that.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
No, no, no, all facts.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
It's crazy. All facts.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
Let's see, let's see. And stopping women from healing.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
Is what bitterness.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
Bitterness me, I feel like, I feel like biderness do
keep you stuck. You don't heal by holding on to anger.
You heal by releasing and understanding that what's for you.
It's like you said before, it's it's still ahead the grass.
You know, there's always greener grass on the other side.
So continuing to hold on to something and continuing to
(38:49):
be bitter about something, you only stopping yourself. So you know, forgive,
get over it, let it go.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
And continue on. You don't know what's on the other side.
Let go. Yeah, you know I agree with this, Cherrelle.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
We just get in our own way because because we
are we nurturers and we pour into our significant other.
We also pour into our children, and that becomes attractive.
We pour into our households and our family. We pour
into our jobs, our work, you know, all these passions.
So we are passionate people. So when you get to
know us, you're like, oh, nah, let me see. And
(39:24):
it's not for everyone to handle because we cannot we
cannot change who we are or we just stresslves we
have gone through so many things to the point where
where we are now. Can nobody penetrate that unless we
allow it, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (39:38):
So like that comes with the.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
Territory, you know, Like we're also fun, So you gonna
get everything we gonna get, you gonna get it all.
You donna get fitness, We're gonna we're gonna cater to you.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
You don't get all that. And everyone who.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
Deals with a space for to receive that, that's not
for everyone to get, you know what I mean. Like
it's a privilege, and that's how I'm moving, and that's
how we move.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
We moved, like you know, it's a privilege to be
in my space.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
It's the privilege to be in my aura and for
me to pour into you and give you my time
because it's precious, you know, and it is. It is
a sense of bitterness, you know, because you're just it's
almost disappointment, but again, that's that human nature in us
and human experience in us of like, you know, I
didn't I didn't put all the all this work in.
I didn't really see the fruits of our labor. But
(40:26):
what we didn't realize is the growth in ourselves. We
were not supposed to be with that person long term,
and we have given you know, I know I'm guilty
of it.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
I give wife everywhere. You know what I mean. I
want to. I want to take care of you.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
I want to make sure you're good, I want you
to be happy, I want you fit in so many ways.
But at the same time, you know, at what cost
is that for me? In my integrity and my essence
of alexis you know what I mean? Like, I can't
falter that, you know, I don't want to. I don't
want to hinder my my health in my time for
someone who's not reciprocating in and reas even in proper
(41:02):
Really it's just a growth period for that bitterness energy
because we get upset again, we're human and that's ego,
you know, But it also comes from healing and therapy
and talking to people who are like minded and very
much on a healthy, healthy journey of not being miserable,
because misery loves company too, And if you had a
space where you know, you're down and you're the low
(41:26):
infant dumped off of that and they're giving you negative
energy and negative you know, commentary and just very much
not happy for you. So this is journey, it's a
lesson and we're supposed to learn this is it one
time at this It's not gonna be perfect, and we
have to take our hands off and try to, you know,
(41:46):
navigate things on our own because it's not about it. Yes,
that's that's that's so true. I agree with you. Yeah,
I agree with you. And then you know, I feel
like a lot of women, you know a lot of people,
not just women. They they won't closure, But you have
to understand closure don't come with the conversation. Sometimes it
comes when you stop replaying the story. So sometimes you
(42:07):
just gotta let it go, close that book, move on, Yes,
and again, power in silence, I mean that is closure
in itself.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
You know why why send the long paragraphs?
Speaker 2 (42:22):
And then you now it's your text is turning green.
You know again you were disrespected then, so what makes
you think you're not going to be disrespected now? If
you didn't have closure, then you think, now you have
to let people land.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
You have to let them be who they are and
receive it. You know what I mean? Like it is
what it is.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
I have learned. You cannot expect me out of you.
It just is what it is. Let people land, let
them be themselves, and you know better, So you do better.
That's it, No better, you do better?
Speaker 1 (43:02):
All right, let's get into it.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
Our next segment is our humble batty questions. We perceived
some new questions. So our first win. What's one personal
win you've had recently that you feel like people don't
fully understand or acknowledge a personal win? I would say
(43:30):
a couple of things. One the journey of leaving a
public relationship and still standing on my feet, as well
as holding down a household raising children. Now I have
two graduates in my household. My children are very well versed.
They're good kids, good humans, and lolihood in general. We
(43:54):
never get you know, accolades for one, and then two,
balancing life, you know, you know, jobs and income and
work and really just continue to you know, take care
of our family. That is another thing. And then even
just like you know, we have been put just I'm
gonna say this for just in general, we have been
(44:18):
put on a time clock, like if you're not this age,
you don't have this, then you will fail, you know.
Speaker 1 (44:23):
So that is a different pressure too, Like I feel
like if you.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
Don't have kids at this age, then you just won't
have them at all. Or if you haven't been married
at this age, then you know you're never gonna get married.
That is just like, you know, the stigma and the pressure.
That's a side yees. Especially in our communities too. It's
also our families, you know, like where are my grandkids?
Where are my grandkids? You know, let's take it so
(44:48):
long where you're man at all these pressures, it causes
rushing and really you not making the right decisions, you know.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
So I don't know. One of my biggest and.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
I agree with you, Lex and this one, I honestly
I learned it from you is my biggest win is
protecting my piece. And before I could, I felt like
I couldn't say that. You know, people see your best,
they see they see the podcast, they see the success,
but they don't see the internal work that it takes
(45:22):
to stay grounded, especially when you got a lot of
eyes on you.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
So I've learned to say no.
Speaker 2 (45:27):
I've learned to set boundaries to let everyone have asked
to me.
Speaker 1 (45:32):
So that's like a it went for me. And do you,
like really do what makes you happy?
Speaker 2 (45:40):
If it's travel, if it's spy, if it's walking, if
it's running, if it's exercising, whatever it is.
Speaker 1 (45:49):
You got to excuse us because you know we've talked
about this too.
Speaker 2 (45:53):
If this is not healthy and you not healthy, then
all this is gonna fall apart.
Speaker 1 (45:57):
Everything.
Speaker 2 (45:58):
It's so many people that depend on us, you know
what I mean in a beautiful way, people that we
pour it into. So like, if I'm not right, the
top of that pillar is not right, then all this
is gonna crumble, you know it is.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
That's the facts. So you got to protect.
Speaker 2 (46:15):
To pieces all the time because you work so hard
to have it and so you need to work or
even harder to keep it.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
That's true. Our next question, have you ever stayed too
long in a relationship or situation because you thought they'll
eventually get it together? What made you finally leave or stay? Oh?
I can can this? Yeah, yeah, I'm curious. I feel
(46:44):
like you know.
Speaker 2 (46:45):
Absolutely to this question I've stayed too long thinking love
could change somebody.
Speaker 1 (46:50):
We all be in that situation, you know.
Speaker 2 (46:52):
Oh, you know, maybe he'll change if I'm with them,
if I can teach them, or they eventually they would
catch up to where I was mentally or emotion But
the truth is you can't carry someone into readiness.
Speaker 1 (47:05):
That's just the truth. Oh that you can't. You can't.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
So I finally left when I realized I was losing
pieces of myself. I couldn't stay like y'all had to
get it together, trying to hold on to something, and
I'm losing myself.
Speaker 1 (47:24):
It wasn't right. So the breaking point for me was
choosing myself. Mm hmmmm hmm.
Speaker 2 (47:32):
I feel like we are all guilty and staying in
that job too long, and that that family reunion too long,
and in that relationship too long. Again, it comes with
growth of who we are and what we're trying to become.
It's just again humans on this experience and really learning
to love again. And so I steel like we have
(47:53):
done an exceptional job of understanding our worse.
Speaker 1 (47:57):
It goes down to that too, and understanding tolerance too, because.
Speaker 2 (48:02):
You know, it gets we get blinded and trying to
nurture others and trying to fix and trying to heal.
But when you look back and you're giving advice to
other people, would you receive that.
Speaker 1 (48:14):
Same?
Speaker 2 (48:14):
It's like that in return, would you? Would you always love?
I always put my daughters in in my shoes. I'm like,
would I want a man to or a young fella
to be treating them this way?
Speaker 1 (48:25):
Absolutely not? And my sons do. Am I teaching them
to treat young ladies this way? Absolutely not?
Speaker 2 (48:31):
So I have to look at myself and be like, yeah,
I'm the one that's leading by example. So if I
am going to tolerate, tolerate X, Y and Z, then
my kids are watching me and I'm stopping these generational curses.
I'm stopping this generational trauma. So it starts and ends
with me. And we have to acknowledge when there's in
(48:52):
the expiration day and it's okay, Like I actually learned
to be okay with being from Asian eighteen to even
in my thirties, I was in a partnership with somebody
leans on them, you know, expected X, Y and Z
from them, And so the point where I really just
have gotten too a space of learning who Alexis is
(49:14):
and what I tolerate and my piece piece is non
negotiable at this point. And what you see is what
you get that part okay in hindsight that yeah, I'm
actually okay in that hindsight that if this doesn't work out,
I'm okay with it, because whoever enters my life at
this space is for a reason. Whatever that capacity is.
(49:36):
It could be a partnership, it could be a friendship.
It could be business. It can be insight, it can
be consultation, it can be a lesson, it could be of.
Speaker 1 (49:47):
You know what. Yeah, you know, I had a good
time with this person.
Speaker 2 (49:50):
They really took the joint in my life and made
and elevated me and showed me. You know, it's cool
to be friends. It's cool to be this, It's cool
to pour into somebody and be vulnerable. And I hope,
I think think the whole point of loving somebody is
that you got to keep loving them over and over again.
Speaker 1 (50:05):
And so we have to understand that there's an expiration
date for everything.
Speaker 2 (50:10):
Just you know, the FDA puts a label and expiration
date on food. It's gonna go sour. So you either
you have we have to do better of recognizing that.
You know, like people are in your life for a
season and for a reason, and some gonna make it,
you know, if they're that part of a twig, or
that that that branch part of the you know, or or.
Speaker 1 (50:30):
Even the root. You know, I'm gonna get in sock there.
Is it hurtful?
Speaker 2 (50:36):
Yeah, But I don't look at it as a waste
of time. I don't look at it as a waste
of energy. I don't look at it as a waste
of life because it's really shaping me of who I am.
You know, you're not gonna get along with everybody. It's
just that's facts. That's true, Just facts. That's our next
question is what's something you hear from that you didn't
(50:58):
think you would. How did you get through it? My
my first thing is divorce. You know, you don't go
into a marriage thinking you're gonna be divorced.
Speaker 1 (51:09):
That's just golden. I didn't think I was gonna get
through it.
Speaker 2 (51:12):
Just the heartbreak, the heartache, the you know, this new
found independent this I'm talking and really taking care of
my children as a single mother. That is something I
didn't think I could get over. But here I am
five years later and thriving. I'm doing I'm following my dreams.
I figured out that I have the time now to
(51:33):
follow my heart and so all things happen for a reason.
Speaker 1 (51:37):
And actually I'm the healthiest I've ever been.
Speaker 2 (51:39):
I am the most skin is the best it's ever been. Mentally,
I'm more focused. I know exactly what I want, and
I'm at a place of filter and out bullshit.
Speaker 1 (51:52):
So I'm very grateful for that journey, you know what
i mean.
Speaker 2 (51:55):
Now you would have told me this day one post,
I would have been like, my.
Speaker 1 (52:00):
Life is over.
Speaker 2 (52:02):
I mean, this takes time and healing, therapy trips, yeah,
come on now, all of that. And because where it's trauma,
it's triggers. You know, we're coming from, you know, really grieving.
We're in a grieving periods and so like we have
to give ourself grace.
Speaker 1 (52:17):
And I think that was the main thing that I learned.
Speaker 2 (52:19):
I mean, had I've had this conversation with you, Tusharel,
like we have to give ourselves grace, like we are
so much these women that are like it has to
be like this, it should be like this, and it
looks like this, that's not possible. We got to give
ourself time. We have to give ourselves hiccups. We got
to give ourselves grace. We got to give ourselves madness
(52:42):
and crying time and in times where we just shut
it down, but check them, turn off the phone, don't
want to be bothered all of that.
Speaker 1 (52:51):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (52:52):
And I can only speak for myself because it's like,
I know what I needed for me to be this
alexis you know what about yourself, And it took time
and it's still taking time.
Speaker 1 (53:03):
It's a process, and so I feel the same thing.
You know.
Speaker 2 (53:07):
My biggest thing, you know, the divorce, through friends and everything,
My biggest thing is is betrayal. You know, I never
thought I would fully heal being let down by people
who were so close to me, who I loved and trusted.
But the main thing that really got me through everything was,
of course, like you said, therapy, prayer, traveling, and just
learning how to forgive people without needing an apology.
Speaker 1 (53:30):
That's it. That's the biggest thing. Just forgive you don't
need an apology.
Speaker 2 (53:36):
Everything I had to release the way of carrying other
people choices like that was the main thing heal. Initial
choice you have to make so me, I just I
had to fix myself and understand who I am, let
it go, move on.
Speaker 1 (53:52):
And it's still a work in progress, wouldn't you agree?
Speaker 2 (53:55):
Like every day, aren't you learning stuff about it?
Speaker 1 (53:59):
Just so I oh I am yay.
Speaker 2 (54:02):
I'm like yeah, like you know, I'm you know, in
that dating stage for example, I'm like, yeah, no, that
turned me off moving on or whatever the case may be,
or speaking up more and having boundaries and just these
non negotiables.
Speaker 1 (54:14):
Yeah, I'm with you.
Speaker 2 (54:15):
I'm with you, Charille, and I'm proud of you too,
because I've seen the growth and you know it's takes time,
you know, and you're very You're very hard.
Speaker 1 (54:25):
On yourself, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (54:27):
Yeah, you're so hard on yourself and it's no time living.
You cannot put time on healing like you really cannot,
and you know you got to push forward. And so
I'm proud of you. You've done a great job. Thank you,
my love, thank you our next when we got our
humble baddies mail and I'm proud of YouTube licks. You know,
(54:49):
I get my motivation. You may not do it, but
I love being around you. I love being around you,
ladies because y'all teach. Y'all may not know it, but
y'all teach so much. You know, just by your actions,
how you carry yourself as a woman, how you speak
like it's just it's it's beautiful to be able to
call you my friend and have someone like you and
(55:09):
Ashley around because you learn so much without even knowing that.
Speaker 1 (55:13):
So I'm truly grateful to have thank you for that.
Speaker 2 (55:17):
Same here I know, shout out to Ashley and her
absence and Poorchue. You know, she just came through a
couple of times and just like everyone that we touched,
so I received that.
Speaker 1 (55:27):
Thank you so much for that. Thank you. All right,
let's get into it. We have our humble baddy's mail.
Speaker 2 (55:36):
I've got you, boo. You're ready for me? Yes, I'm
ready for you, Okay, boob. Dear humble baddies, that's us.
I need you how to keep it real with me?
I was with my ex for nine years. We lived together,
built multiple businesses together, and I supported him through every
(55:59):
job changes, family drama, even his health scares. Every time
I brought up marriage, he said he's not ready or
he needs more time to be stable. We finally broke
up eight months later, he's engaged to a girl he
met after me.
Speaker 1 (56:16):
I feel like I invested all my best.
Speaker 2 (56:18):
Years into building him up for someone else to refits.
I've blocked him on everything because seeing his new life hurts,
But a part of me still wants to confront.
Speaker 1 (56:27):
Him and ask why not me?
Speaker 2 (56:30):
Am I wrong? They're feeling bitter? Should I get my
closure or just focus on healing? Love you All, Love
Y'all's podcast Stacy from Chicago with sub Stacy from the
Shot and Stacy, Damn, that's hurt. That's a sad situation.
But I feel like everything you're feeling, Stacey is one
(56:50):
hundred percent valid. You love them, you built with them,
you sacrifice for him, and now you're watching him give
everything that y'all built together to someone else, something that
you prayed for. It's not just the heartbreak, but I
feel like it's a betrayal mixed with confusion. So it's hard.
It's very hard. But you can't force someone. You gotta understand, Stacey.
(57:13):
You can't force someone to be ready for you if
you aren't ready for if they're not ready for themselves.
So it's one of those things like we spoke about earlier,
you just you know, he'll.
Speaker 1 (57:24):
Get over it and move on.
Speaker 2 (57:29):
Yeah, and it's a lesson in it self, And don't
feel like don't I feel like we again we're harder
on ourselves. And you cannot regret anything that you poured
into this person because that's who you are, Stacy, you.
Speaker 1 (57:40):
Are that giver. You helped him in X Y and
Z y'all built these businesses.
Speaker 2 (57:45):
You were supposed to be in his life for that reason,
and he was supposed to be in your life for
that reason. Now moving forward, you cannot bring this to
be into the next You know, that is your ex
for a reason. Again, it was not meant to be
and now you are meant to be for someone else,
or you're meant to be in this space of being
(58:06):
by yourself, and that's okay. You have to get to
a space of understanding who you are and your essence
and your worth and that right person, you know, especially
because I feel like you're in reciprocated energy and reflection.
So like what I'm reflecting to you is what you're
gonna attract. So if you're like sad and hurt, you're
(58:27):
gonna attract somebody that's gonna take advantage of that. But
if you're graceful and you're happy and you're just open,
you're gonna receive somebody that's.
Speaker 1 (58:35):
Open as well.
Speaker 2 (58:36):
So I you know, my suggestion is for you to like,
I'm glad you're gonna give mental health. That's fine, do
what it is best for you. But at the same time,
starf focusing on yourself. You're gonna and go out with
your friends, go out and turn up and have a
good time because that's where you're gonna meet somebody, and
you know your time com and now you just some
(58:57):
more equipped. You have experience now of what you want
and what you don't want. And you got to understand.
They say, as far as closure, you already have it.
He showed you who he was going back for answers.
Definitely ain't gonna heal it, heal it. All it's gonna
do is just open up more wounds. So just healing
silence and glow girl and glowing slash lestack, go out,
(59:20):
have fun, enjoy life.
Speaker 1 (59:21):
You got this girl, yep, And that's that say, then
said and done.
Speaker 2 (59:31):
But it does come from time. Time heals all wounds,
it really does. That's true. That's true, all right, guys,
that is it for the Humble Baddies.
Speaker 1 (59:41):
Another one in the book. Y'all were about to call
it a night, were about to wrap it up. Oh shit,
y'all lost me, y'all, but I can hear you. Where'd
you go? Where's share round?
Speaker 2 (59:55):
We said, I'm gonna beat Sonny behind, because Sony behind?
Speaker 1 (59:59):
Because how you are you back?
Speaker 2 (01:00:01):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (01:00:01):
But now you're gone? But where at the end? Anyway?
So where can they? Thank you? There you go?
Speaker 2 (01:00:07):
You can find me at Chirrel. This is Auto Underscore
on Instagram. Make sure you follow our podcast on Instagram,
Humble Batty's podcast and follow us.
Speaker 1 (01:00:16):
Subscribe to us.
Speaker 2 (01:00:17):
Tell your cousins aby daddy's your mistress? Yes or whoever
he is, whoever she is to follow us. Subscribe to
us at Humble Batty's podcast on YouTube. Yes, so you
can find me at Alexis Underscore. Stotamyra on Instagram and
shout out to But there was a few ladies that
came through at Smith and Western's over the weekend that
(01:00:39):
watch our shows. So shout out to them. I know
y'all watch and they were like.
Speaker 1 (01:00:43):
Where's sense the Humble Batties. I was like, thank you
so much.
Speaker 2 (01:00:45):
Shout out to y'all and they definitely watched the show too,
So thank you for watching and if you have anything
you want to reach out to us, hit us up
at contact at humblebatties dot com. Until next time, We'll
see you y'all on Wednesday,
I get in my way, never out of my name.
It's been like you one and the more one, so
it is gonna be.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Baby Squadya Hi queen.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
How you doing, mister Elle? I am amazing. You know.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
It's one o'clock in the morning where I'm at. So
I took me a little nap.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
And hold it down.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Good good, I'm holding it down. Lit's say, it's a holiday, Okay, yeah,
it was holiday. It's a Muslim holiday. I don't know
what holiday it is, but it's a Muslim It's been
going on all week. But it's no, don't give me
to start.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
I don't want to be disrespectful.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Yeah, but I celebrated, Yah, had me some drinks, took
me a little nap, and I'm up and ready for
night camp. I mean, of course that is not a
Baddy's podcast. My ass over here talking about like, yeah,
it should be nine camp part two. The way we
we we are capping you know, the evenings and then
(01:04):
all right, festivities.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
How have you been my love girl?
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Just really this externship has been really interesting over the
past weekend.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
I was challenged to.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Make a dessert and something that I could leave once
I'm done with my ex apprenticeship with this ro and
left shout out to them. Once I leave, then it's
you know, something there that has my name is signature
on there. And so I proposed a bread pudding with
the blueberry compote and used ingredients that we have already
(01:44):
on hand, and it came out phenomenal and the owner
loved it, and I sold my.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
First one during brunch.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
So it was just you know, it's it's just an
exciting feat for me and just a passion just ignited.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
And I'm so happy.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
And girl, I've been holding down to four point one
five GPA on President's List and I'm just on the
last you know, a couple of weeks of this and
I'm done. I mean, i can't believe this journey is here.
So I'm just proud. I don't wait by so fast.
It's no, it's crazy because you know, I was I
was actually in culinary school while we were filming, and
(02:23):
so I went from the show and so like, yeah,
so like to be juggling all these jobs and all
these you know, passions and really trying to show up
be a mother and also just like a friend.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
It just it just shows my resilience and shows like.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
My just my energy behind that we can accomplish anything
that we set our mind to. And I just am
grounded and just this energy and this faith of just
really just accomplishment.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
So I'm happy. You know, I'm proud of myself and
here we are. I'm proud of you too.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
I cannot wait to come back home so you can
cook me a full courtse nail.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
We have some girl talk and I just stuffed.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
My fence come to Consolects because yeah, but you know,
I need you to get that passport st to hit
that global entry and come back from home. Okay, And
that's what I need from my girls, so I can
give you some love.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Come back. I don't want to come back, you know.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
I know shit while you're playing, find me some man
out there, because I see Calice, I fair.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Buying a land. You know, I need. I need some
garden space.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Can I get some garden space that just looks at
some ocean or maybe the mountain?
Speaker 1 (03:35):
I don't know something.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Some help me out, Okay, I need to know where
I need to go to the land. Okay, Lex, I
love it here. It's like I just have been. I'm
just a queen here. I don't even have to love that.
You should.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
I just should.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
I just press one button and everything is taken care of.
But she just her, and I'm happy for you. And
keep pushing that button because that's what we need, okay,
and give them a love.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Yes, but I've been good.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
I have one more week here and then go to
Paris for the concert. So I'm going to see Beyonce
long than the flight is that from here back it's
like six hours, but I live like it's a red
out flight.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
So yeah, that's personal at all. Yeah, I'm back this way,
you know exactly.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
So I just said, send it my stage and I'll
just leave them here to Paris and then I'll be
back good and then you know, yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
I love. I love a lone distance type of thing.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Yes, I think that's a you know why, it's a
great thing because to be respectful of your household and
their household. Old everyone in our stage of life has
their own going on, you know that.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
That's what we attract. Yeah, that's what we receive and
what we give to.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
So respectfully, I don't want anybody coming here telling me, Look,
you know, I'm sorry. I'm gonna come up in here
and change some stuff up and I'm like, no, this
is what I bring to the table, this is who
I am, and I respect you you on.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Your side, I couldn't do that, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
And if you establish yourself somewhere else, that's where your
essence is, that's where your vibe is, that's where your
foundation is, that that's where your family is, that's where
your work, your livelihood is. And we can you know,
I love that fact that. It's like absence makes the
heart grow fonder. So it just keep me curious, you
know what I mean. So at the same point, you
got your job, you got your lucky your whole existence
(05:50):
in a different city, and whomever else, so do they
and so like respectfully, look, we'll see each other in
past and crossing and past.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
I feel like it's just more fun that way. It's
so much fun. I love it here. I love it.
I love it for you too.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
But other than that, travel Linda, I have some exciting news.
I'm about to lunch my my weighted blanket line. It'll
be coming out soon. It's called Stillness Blankets. So a
lot of people know I suffer from PTSD and anxiety.
So my sleep pattern is just off. So without my
weighted blanket, I don't sleep good. So I was like,
(06:28):
I need to come out with my own line. I
know necessary and just you know, just immerse it. So
I put a little tweet out there and I told
people you would be amazed how many people sleep with
weighted blankets.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Use weighted blankets to sleep.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Athletes, children suffer from anxiety adults. So I'm excited about that.
I remember you telling me about that a little bit ago,
and I'm just proud of you that it just came
to fruition. And now it's you know, a tengent for
me when you say, way to bait blanket?
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Is it? Are we able to travel with it? You can?
So I have it's different sizes.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
I have a ten ten pounds, twelve pounds, and fifteen pounds,
but you can because the kids that mind come in.
It comes with the little travel case. But it's sick,
it's not you can't take it on the I don't
think you can take it on a plank because it's
a little heavy. But yeah, just taking a long distance flights,
(07:31):
you know what I mean, a home away from home.
You want to snuggle, you want to be comfortable, You
want that nice hug from that weighted blanket.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
You know what I mean? Look at me.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Were selling them already. You know what I'm saying. You
know what a meaning gonna get that.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
So I'm gonna send it. I'm an send you sampo.
I need to just sit out for me.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Let me know before you know, I display so I'm
super excited I got you. Other than that, just get
into it. Let's get into it. Our girls actually not
here today. She went to Vegas with her husband. They
live in their best life. I sent her message. I
was like, Ashley, you and Phil are starting to look
(08:09):
alike now y'all been together too long, she said. Over
time you start looking like your significant other, especially if you've.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Grown up together.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
You start sounding like having those mannerisms and very much,
you know, just a lot of similarity.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
So shout out to Phil and Ashley for twenty yads.
So we're gonna get into that.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Stop shout out our humble batty of the week, go
to our girl Coco Golf. She won the French Open,
setting the record. She just made history about winning the
French Open. But while we're celebrating, some folks out here
are throwing shade so we're gonna talk about why black
women wins get minimized and how Coco continues to rise
(09:00):
with grace under pressure.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Did you see what her opponent had to say? I did.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
I'm an avid tennis spectator. I like to go to
the Miami Open. I've been to the French Open, and
I've been to I've been also in London as well,
So like, I love tennis, I've always been a fan
obviously of Serena Venas, Coco, just all all of.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Us in our essence.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
You know, it's one especially being in Paris, in France
or whatever. It is a very bougie, snobby, you know,
preppy sport, and you know it's an adjustment. So one
the fact that we got our good sister in there
showing up and showing it out and really being professional.
(09:49):
But she's also young too, write so I look at
it like she is holding her own and I'm so
proud of her.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Now with her opponent said, I know she did.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Back and now say it was very much like she's apologizing,
but she stood.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
She was very.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Emotional evil Hey we're wet, but she definitely was like
you know, blamed it on win conditions and x Y
and Z. But when you're in a competitive sport such
as tennis and say, you know, to outdoor sport, and
the fact that you're up against your opponent under the
same conditions, it is not necessarily like you have an advantage.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
She has advantaged. I'm both there. You know, this is
a competitive.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Sport outside, so it is fair game, and it is
a competition at the end of the day, and the
best person who is going to be the best competitor
is going to win.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
And Coco one hundred percent did.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
And shame on her opponent for really not giving her
her props and really you know, pushing her ford. But
I command Coco on her response of just saying, you know,
I know she's believable. I know what it's like to compete,
but you know it is Coco time. Let her thrive,
let her shine, and you go girl exactly.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
I'm so proud of Coco.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
She's only twenty one years old, already a champion, champion
one just yeah, she just carried herself with so much
grace and confidence and you can't teach that.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
It's like God given. So that's Coco.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
I feel like, you know, she's also had some amazing
mentorism on the way too.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Like I just reposted this.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Little meme of her, like she went to the games
when she was younger, and then she's kind of behind
Venus Williams. So the fact that there's a role models
who always carried grace, who always will for themselves and
who were to be competitive but don't take no shit,
I feel like, you know, they put them on a
pedestal and it's been it's been amazing to witness and
(11:47):
watch over these decades. So shout out to Coco. She
is on her way and you know she a humble batty.
Yes my question, do we as a culture sometimes put
too much expectations on a young black star? I do
feel like we do sometimes just because I feel like
(12:10):
it's rooted in history of just a struggle to have
a name for ourselves and to be rooted in excellence.
We are marking our territory in so many realms, whether
it's sports, business, entertainment, all these realms, and we've always
been the most underpaid, We've always been the most you know,
looked over, and so you have to look at it
(12:32):
when you're on a stage like that, especially in tennis,
where it's you versus you. It's your good day versus
your bad day. Whether you're going to opponent or not.
It's a mental game. It's a mental space and you
have to be in your shape. So her discipline is
awesome in a lot of we have to be the
best because you know, athletically we are some of the
(12:53):
best athletes and we are just very much intelligent. So
it's a lot of pressure for us in general, and
then especially now with the influx of popularity of women's sports,
it's even more on a trajectory of now we're still
getting we're getting meals, we're getting paid.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Just how men.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Are getting paid. Well, it's getting coverage and insurance and
partners and spouses and you know, we're still in Pride month.
So the fact that you know, I look at the
w NBA for example, they have helped out with insurance
and health coverage for partners and spouses of same sex,
and it's pivotal in sports in general. Just the fact
(13:33):
that they are our opportunities. The fact is, ladies and
gentlemen are you know in the forefront. Yes, there is pressure,
but we would would pressure produces diamonds and just so
you know, we are worth in every sport that we accomplished.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
So it is hard, you know, but at the same
time we can handle it. That's true.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
I feel the same way. I feel like we expect them.
I feel like we expect them to be perfect on
the court and interviews with their image everything. But they're
still growing up in front of us, so we got
to give them space to be able to be a human.
Like we just put too much on them at the
early age, and it's it's.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
It's not right.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
I agree with you, Charelle, especially like even our children
they're athletic, so like we see the pressure parents are
now with kids that are little league and look like thirteen, twelve,
eleven years old. You know, it's just I think it's
just a sports thing in general of pushing your kid
or whether it's just being the best.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
We are in America.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
I know for a fact that we are definitely the
ones that are like land of Opportunity. We're very sports driven,
We're very much like competitive, and you know, it can
get that out of hand in middles So I agree
with you, Yes, why do people struggle to give black
women full credit? Because I felt like during you know,
(14:56):
with her upon it, you know, said what she said,
it was all excuses. Instead of saying, you know, a
win is a win, congratulate her, you were making every excuse.
He said, she didn't play her best, but she beats you.
Why is it so hard and so much a struggle
to give black women full credit?
Speaker 1 (15:15):
We're we are just because we're I think Malcolm.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
X said it best when we are the most underrepresented
and also disrespected.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
People on earth.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
You know, this is the black female Yet we are
the We have the most homes that we've owned, were
the most educated, and we also are some of the
most spending marketing dollars as well as being entrepreneurs. So
at the end of the day, to me, it's always
gonna the cream always rises to the top.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
So we are a force.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
I mean, I look at Oprah Winfrey and Oprah Winfrey
for example, I saw the Forbes list of self made
female billionaires and she is up there, and so kudos
are her for really, you know, exemplar eximplifying what it
means to be in your essence of who we are,
and you know, shout out to all of our CEOs
(16:08):
and our boss women and our humble bodies across the globe.
You know we are forced to reckon with and I'm
a proud black woman.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
I know you are too, And you know we are
just sitting in our essence of of our wing.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
You know, as you said earlier, you're a queen and
that's real. And the fact that we have to be
reminded of who we are. We know who we are,
but like we don't get it. You know, it comes
from a struggle of having to birth you know, slave
owners children and you know, be like the first obg
y ns and then it takes Then we if we
were lactating, then we're also breastfeeding, and we're nursing, we're
(16:45):
caring for and then we're also taking care of men
that are from war. We were the first nurses, and
we were the first every everything that you can imagine.
So you know, it is our time to shine, and
you know we gonna have it the hardest because we
are that essence.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
We birth tribes and the end it is real.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
And I also feel like we make everything look too easy.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
We make everything look too easy.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
So well, when you walk in the room with confidence,
there's always going to be somebody who needs to downplay
your shine to make themselves feel better. So it's like,
no matter what, we're always going to get some type
of something, some type of hate, hater ration, some type
of exactly. But I feel like we are the exception
(17:33):
to the arm right. Yes, I feel like she handled
it with grace.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
She did what she needs to do. How she responded,
That's my next thing.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
I feel like she you know, people, people were looking
for her to respond, but I feel like she shouldn't have.
Her response was winning. That's the biggest flex. So she
even have to address the shade her say talk Yeah,
I agree, very professional and you're right, her win was
(18:02):
all that needs to be talking talked about, and low
key silence is very powerful too, you know what I mean.
She didn't have to address her because it is her time.
It is her time to shine and it was not
about the opponent that did not win. So kudos for
Coco first standing, this showing up being the better competitor,
winning taking home that prize, showing out. She wrote, she
(18:26):
manifests this too. Is she showed in her one of
her posts that she was like, I will win, I
will win. So she's showing the power of benf the
station too and working hard. So yeah, I'm with you
with that, Sharrell exactly my question to you, Lex, I
know I've experienced it. Have you ever experienced someone minimizing
your win? Of course, every day I feel like we
(18:51):
are in not only in competition with others, but ourselves,
and unfortunately it be our own people.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
I just it's tough at times, but at the same time,
that resilience is there and it's embedded. I look at
it like I mean, we see it in friendships, to
see it in partnerships, we see it in business.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
And you know, it's just like.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
I mean, I had to deal with that a long
time before I even got married. Oh you just the
baby mama, or you just behind the scenes, or who
are you anyway? And you know, it comes a time
when it is your time to shine and and we
and we were, And it's just about patience and really
just stand the course and really just following your heart
(19:37):
and your dreams and anything as possible.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
That's true, I feel. What about you?
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Yeah, I feel the same way all the time in business,
really in life. You know, people love to say, oh
it's easy for you. They don't but they don't understand.
They don't see the grind behind the scenes. I've learned
not to even engage in things like that because they
don't know what we've been through.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
What you know, how hard it is.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
We may, like I said before, we make it look
so easy, but don't minimize what we've been through just
because we make it look easy. Yeah, because it's like
an iceberg just underneath the surface. Okay, you don't see
just a little bit, all right, but there's so much.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Going on underneath. We are very hands on.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
We have our hands in so many different pots, and
we take care of so many people, and we also
want to bring others in too, So that's a lot
of energy, a lot of you know, just you know,
really just trying to be helpful at all time. So, yes,
you're just like a pretty face, a beautiful body. Oh
(20:46):
she's this, she's kept, she's this and that and whatever. Nah,
there's actually a lot going on behind all this.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
I'm just you know. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Yeah, So all advice to you, all humble baddies. They
gonna talk whether you win alose, so you might as
well keep winning.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Don't pass it to behave us.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Yeah, and to take away from this, you don't explain
your excellence to people committed to misunderstanding your shot.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
I know that's right. Thank you for that shure I heard.
Let's get into it the next one.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
So Brittany came out, and Brittany Renner came out about
her and Kendy Gates.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
So, you know, a couple of weeks ago she said
that they got married.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
She was super excited, which I was shocked because my
last thing I knew he was still married to drinking.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
But now she's talking about that, so let me read it.
Brittany Renner and Kevin.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Gates took a fast ride down the oul and even
a fastest trip to divorce court. We're unpacking world wind relationships, publicly,
spiritual healing, and whether following in her heart is always
the best move.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Because she did state it. You know she don't regret it.
She followed her heart.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Is there a such thing as moving too fast and love?
What the thing is? There's double edged short one. I
don't condone anybody moving on while you're in a situation
a marriage. I think that's a little tacky. But at
(22:33):
the same time, I feel like when people are ready
in their own way to people, do you. I mean,
I don't know how Islam works as far as I know.
I do know that you can have multiple wives. So
even if he is still married legally to Drinka, he
(22:54):
can have multiple unions and marriages as long as you
take care of the wife of the wives and the households,
meeting the children and everything else.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
So I do have it.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
She did very vocally say she followed her hurt, and
she did, and it was very much a public rendezvous.
And the fact that you know, and it's embarrassing, you
know at the same time that it was a quick
union and then a quick divorce. But at the same
time she stated the facts that in Islam it's a
(23:32):
nine need a waiting people. When you do have a marriage,
there's consensual acknowledgment of that, and then obviously you have
to consummate the marriage so she could be with child,
which in actuality he would have to care for in
her and this child as well.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
So and I love the.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Fact that she mentioned that, you know, you still are
not supposed to entertain another pis able to try to reconcile.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
I thought that was pretty dope.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
But at the same time, we are here to have
the human experience of love and failure. We're supposed to
enjoy one another. We're supposed to live amongst ourselves, and
we're supposed to choose, and everything in life we do
is a lesson, whether it's a blessing a lesson, so
(24:20):
they'll do better.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
So I feel I'm a lover. Y'all know that already.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
I'm very much a lover and follow your heart. But
there's ways of doing things. I do not condone cheating.
I do not control condone adultery. I do not condole,
condone lying, none of that kind of stuff. So I
also say, you know, you lose them higher.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
You get them. So you don't know a lot of
their history. I don't know personally.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
But at the same time, she is vocal about their
marriage and so they were in a partnership and here.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
We are, so I don't know. I mean, this is
a tough situation.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
It gets worse when of those children involved than in
other households and things like that.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
But you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
There's a lot of people who have you know, married
quickly and have still are still together. I know a
few couples actually that met one night stands or the
first week, got married quickly and.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Are still together. So it's all about timing.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Too, and if you find your person and find your
person and ball out, because we only have one life
to live and it comes with controversy obviously being public figures.
So that's all I can speak on with it as
far as that is concerned.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
What are your thoughts?
Speaker 2 (25:37):
I mean, I respect respect Britany for speaking her truth.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
But woof.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Days, listen, that's not a marriage. That's a trial period.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
It ain't even.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Hear kick in yet, interface even kick in yet. It
sounds cute, you know, following your heart or whatever, but
your heart can want something your mind knows better about.
So I mean, love is beautiful and everything, but it
(26:12):
has to be backed by wisdom at the end of
the day.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
So just going off of following your heart, you have
to think for it and be enough. It ain't enough,
you're right.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
Because it's like you get caught up in like the
fairy tale and that beautiful side of it, and then
you look up there's like there's bills, there's households, there's emotions,
there's nuances and things you're discovering about somebody and do I.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Really want to do with.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
That?
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Do I really like this person?
Speaker 2 (26:42):
And oh they snore or they were doing this you
really don't know somebody it.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Is that definitely leave once you start.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Man, it's a leap of faith, though, it's a leap
of faith, like, look, we're gonna decide to try to
make this grow every day, like I got to learn
something about you every day.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Yeah, that could be tough.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Some people felt like it was some people felt like
it was true love, and some people felt like it
was cloud.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
I think it was a little bit of both. I
think it was a little bit of both.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
So, you know, because social media amplifies everything to publicis
link up. It as pressure for you to move fast
and sure, we know because you know we're we're both
you know, public figures.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
But I feel like, you know, it was pressured a.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Lot due to them being publicly on social media a lot. Yeah,
I mean, and you're getting added people all up in
your business too. At the end of the day, like
you know it does. It does almost ring a bell
of I know when you say cloud as a thing.
But you know, sometimes you want your date to be
(27:48):
at you too, you know, somebody want to share these
memories with. I mean, it kind of poses a question
of do you really, you know, want your relationship to
be public. You know, you know what I mean, because
you would never ever see me in a public relationship ever, ever, ever.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Ever, ever.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
The only thing y'all see is what watch you wearing today,
whether it's the richimently one of the period. That's what
the custom friends race. You will never see me in
a public relationship ever. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Yeah, I feel like the people in your circle know
who you with. You know what I'm saying. They know
how you move in that is most important.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
It's not assumption because they will eat you up, spit
you out, throw you away, regurgitate you, and stomp on you.
So they you know, it's not a lot of love
with people who don't want to see you to be
want to see you happy, and everyone has an opinion
on your relationship being I would.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
Prefer a private situation too, Like.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
Obviously, if we're public figures and we get caught out
by the paparazzi or you know, people with their phones out,
that's a different story. But like at the end of
the day, I like to be speculated about. I like
to be keep that sense of privacy because you know,
once you walk outside of these doors, you're basically you know,
(29:15):
you're for everyone.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
You know what I mean. And you.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
Do want you to see the sacredness of a partnership
for sure, I know you do too.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
That's something we don't about.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
Yeah, because piece hits different when people don't have access
to your personal life. Some things are sacred and it
feels it feels good.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
That's a bar I think. Yeah, it was. It was
a far it was a part.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Like that.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
You got to keep everything.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
I learned that from pre you know, previous, previous situations,
previous relationships like it. Just it feels so much better
when you're just low key about everything. You don't have
to have let the world have access to everything.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
So they want to ruin it.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
They're not looking for the best, they're not making sure
you're happy, and think they don't know what's going on
behind closed orders, you know what I mean. We have
to deal with life, real life and blending and who
are we and growing with somebody and getting to know
them from a healed space.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
So yeah, no, that's true.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
So our advice for people who are feel like they
have to expose everything in these relationships that it has
to be public moves Mark, protect your peace and remember
real love don't need an audience.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Okay, cheers to that. Look, I got my water. I
got that too.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Our next thing, So I was on social media elects
and you know a lot of us have been have
been witnesses to it, and I've seen something and I
was like, this is something good. We did get some
mail about this same situation, but it was talking about,
you know, a ten year girlfriend versus a six month wife.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
Like, what is it called? I forgot what they call it.
I don't know. This is just a name.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
It's a name for someone who's been a girlfriend for
a longer, was practicing.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
Yeah, they was prepping him up. I forgot the name
and it hit back to me.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
But I was scrolling through social media and it was
so many things about it, so many people talking about it.
So we're talking about it may ruffle some feathers because
a lot of people, even myself, have been in this situation.
I can speak on it. When is a man ready
to move, like, you know, you've been in a relationship
(31:47):
for so many years, y'all break up. Then he get
in a new relationship and he ends up marrying this
person and they only been together for six months.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Yeah, wow, low key.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
I look at it like this, I feel like when
you know you know, so it's okay, and then you
don't know what.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
People's motives are too.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
It could be very much like I have a void
to feel I need to have somebody here or let
me take a chance on love.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (32:22):
I feel like I don't want to speak for you,
but I know you and we're very much open to
our partnership.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
You know what I mean? I did. We're not like
very much like I'll never be this again.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
We still even though we might have had you know,
ups and downs in past previous relationships, we still want
to be loved and we still want to give love.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
And because we're nurturers.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
And so with that being said, I feel like, especially
from a male perspective, and I obviously I am not
a man, but just knowing guy friends, he knew when
they were ready and so they were like regardless if
I was with someone tend to love years, I could
have been ready, but I wasn't, you know what I mean.
I wasn't where I was financially, I wasn't where I
(33:05):
was emotionally, spiritually, whatever. So whoever happens across that path
at that moment, it's going to get that man in
that space when he's ready to be that kind of
husband or that kind of partner.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
I stand firm in that. And that goes with us too,
as ladies.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
I know us, I'm speaking for you and asherill like
we're not going to propose to a man, you know
what I mean, Like we'll we'll let a guy do
his manly duties and do that.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
So like I'm saying that to the point of that,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Like I feel like when men are at a point
where they're like, look, I'm ready to svider, I'm ready
to be a caretaker.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
I'm willing to really be vulnerable and give them my
life to this woman. That could be any.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Time, it could be really later on in life, I
feel like, especially for our men.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
So I feel like it's just it's about timing, you know.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
And when a man is ultimately ready for whatever, he's
gonna do it, and he and everyone in the world
can be like, don't do it, reconsider you know, like
don't do it. But if that man has his mind
set up and it's like, look, I'm just this is
why I'm gonna take my leak, please go do it.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
That's true. I feel the same way.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
I feel like when a man is ready emotionally, financially,
and mentally, he don't play no games. He knows what
we want and he moves accordingly. It just sucks.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
You know. Some some women get.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Stuck in that situation where you know they they're with
this person. They go through everything with this person, and
even though this person cheeks does everything, and then you
know years have passed by and now they're ready to
settle down and you gave up on the situation. Now
they find somebody in there. It's like, Okay, I've done enough.
You know, I'm allay the great silence. Then you know
(34:49):
what I mean, I know what I'm capable of. I
know what I also you know, invested into, and you
know there's obviously a reason why me and my person
or whatever. I'm just speaking by myself didn't work out.
And I would sh you the best the next person.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
You know what I mean. I know that it didn't
work out with X, Y and Z.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
So it's just I'm a firm believer in alignment and
timing as well as being in both. People need to
be in a healed space of receiving and giving. So
whenever it's your time. It's your time, you know, and
be great.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Do you think like do women?
Speaker 2 (35:27):
Do you feel like women feel played when they go
through situations like this, Like, you know, I've been with
this person for seven and a half years, he left me,
and now he's with another woman and now he's already
proposed six months in and they're getting married. Do you
feel like that's ego? Yeah, it is, I do. That's ego.
(35:49):
That's that's ego. You know, we all we all were like, well,
I put in this, I worked hard.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
I invested in this man.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
For the awful net woman, fit for my you know,
whatever I put in.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
But at the end of the day, there's.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
A reason why y'all not together, and that person's gonna
have to figure that out on their own. It's their time.
So that again, people are in your life. There are a
reason for a season, and you can't look at it.
I know, I had learned that. I can't look at
it like, you know, oh, what is my return on
my investment? Nah, at the end of the day, it's
(36:26):
I don't regret shit because it is what it is.
I was supposed to be in this person's life. We
were supposed to have these times together, and we were
not supposed to continue this journey together.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
And that's okay.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
So when you get to a point of healing and
not being triggered by like things that relationship, you have
to remember like you prayed your way out of it,
you cried your way out of it. You mentally healed
your way out of a situation that was not for you.
So once we learned that and put ego aside, we
realized that, you know what, there's better out there. The
(36:59):
grass is bring and I'm a firm believer in that,
you know, like I believe in karma, I believe in
all these things, so come when it happens. Okay, Look,
I feel like the same thing. It's okay to feel her.
It's a it's a natural feeling. It is as women,
(37:21):
you shouldn't feel played. You were a chapter in his growth,
so you should be happy about that. You taught him
things he probably couldn't receive at the time. So just
know that it was you know, it was a chapter.
It had to end, but like you said, it's a
new chapter, and the.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Chapter gets better and better once you continue to that book.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
So just ladies, they don't forget right shroud. They're not
gonna forget. They don't forget.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
You done left to.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
Mark, okay, at the bay, left to your mark.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
Well, you don't highlight it every page that days on
the words okay. They can't do it like you always
remember that.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
No, no, no, all facts.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
It's crazy. All facts.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
Let's see, let's see. And stopping women from healing.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
Is what bitterness.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
Bitterness me, I feel like, I feel like biderness do
keep you stuck. You don't heal by holding on to anger.
You heal by releasing and understanding that what's for you.
It's like you said before, it's it's still ahead the grass.
You know, there's always greener grass on the other side.
So continuing to hold on to something and continuing to
(38:49):
be bitter about something, you only stopping yourself. So you know, forgive,
get over it, let it go.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
And continue on. You don't know what's on the other side.
Let go. Yeah, you know I agree with this, Cherrelle.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
We just get in our own way because because we
are we nurturers and we pour into our significant other.
We also pour into our children, and that becomes attractive.
We pour into our households and our family. We pour
into our jobs, our work, you know, all these passions.
So we are passionate people. So when you get to
know us, you're like, oh, nah, let me see. And
(39:24):
it's not for everyone to handle because we cannot we
cannot change who we are or we just stresslves we
have gone through so many things to the point where
where we are now. Can nobody penetrate that unless we
allow it, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (39:38):
So like that comes with the.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
Territory, you know, Like we're also fun, So you gonna
get everything we gonna get, you gonna get it all.
You donna get fitness, We're gonna we're gonna cater to you.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
You don't get all that. And everyone who.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
Deals with a space for to receive that, that's not
for everyone to get, you know what I mean. Like
it's a privilege, and that's how I'm moving, and that's
how we move.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
We moved, like you know, it's a privilege to be
in my space.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
It's the privilege to be in my aura and for
me to pour into you and give you my time
because it's precious, you know, and it is. It is
a sense of bitterness, you know, because you're just it's
almost disappointment, but again, that's that human nature in us
and human experience in us of like, you know, I
didn't I didn't put all the all this work in.
I didn't really see the fruits of our labor. But
(40:26):
what we didn't realize is the growth in ourselves. We
were not supposed to be with that person long term,
and we have given you know, I know I'm guilty
of it.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
I give wife everywhere. You know what I mean. I
want to. I want to take care of you.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
I want to make sure you're good, I want you
to be happy, I want you fit in so many ways.
But at the same time, you know, at what cost
is that for me? In my integrity and my essence
of alexis you know what I mean? Like, I can't
falter that, you know, I don't want to. I don't
want to hinder my my health in my time for
someone who's not reciprocating in and reas even in proper
(41:02):
Really it's just a growth period for that bitterness energy
because we get upset again, we're human and that's ego,
you know, But it also comes from healing and therapy
and talking to people who are like minded and very
much on a healthy, healthy journey of not being miserable,
because misery loves company too, And if you had a
space where you know, you're down and you're the low
(41:26):
infant dumped off of that and they're giving you negative
energy and negative you know, commentary and just very much
not happy for you. So this is journey, it's a
lesson and we're supposed to learn this is it one
time at this It's not gonna be perfect, and we
have to take our hands off and try to, you know,
(41:46):
navigate things on our own because it's not about it. Yes,
that's that's that's so true. I agree with you. Yeah,
I agree with you. And then you know, I feel
like a lot of women, you know a lot of people,
not just women. They they won't closure, But you have
to understand closure don't come with the conversation. Sometimes it
comes when you stop replaying the story. So sometimes you
(42:07):
just gotta let it go, close that book, move on, Yes,
and again, power in silence, I mean that is closure
in itself.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
You know why why send the long paragraphs?
Speaker 2 (42:22):
And then you now it's your text is turning green.
You know again you were disrespected then, so what makes
you think you're not going to be disrespected now? If
you didn't have closure, then you think, now you have
to let people land.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
You have to let them be who they are and
receive it. You know what I mean? Like it is
what it is.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
I have learned. You cannot expect me out of you.
It just is what it is. Let people land, let
them be themselves, and you know better, So you do better.
That's it, No better, you do better?
Speaker 1 (43:02):
All right, let's get into it.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
Our next segment is our humble batty questions. We perceived
some new questions. So our first win. What's one personal
win you've had recently that you feel like people don't
fully understand or acknowledge a personal win? I would say
(43:30):
a couple of things. One the journey of leaving a
public relationship and still standing on my feet, as well
as holding down a household raising children. Now I have
two graduates in my household. My children are very well versed.
They're good kids, good humans, and lolihood in general. We
(43:54):
never get you know, accolades for one, and then two,
balancing life, you know, you know, jobs and income and
work and really just continue to you know, take care
of our family. That is another thing. And then even
just like you know, we have been put just I'm
gonna say this for just in general, we have been
(44:18):
put on a time clock, like if you're not this age,
you don't have this, then you will fail, you know.
Speaker 1 (44:23):
So that is a different pressure too, Like I feel
like if you.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
Don't have kids at this age, then you just won't
have them at all. Or if you haven't been married
at this age, then you know you're never gonna get married.
That is just like, you know, the stigma and the pressure.
That's a side yees. Especially in our communities too. It's
also our families, you know, like where are my grandkids?
Where are my grandkids? You know, let's take it so
(44:48):
long where you're man at all these pressures, it causes
rushing and really you not making the right decisions, you know.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
So I don't know. One of my biggest and.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
I agree with you, Lex and this one, I honestly
I learned it from you is my biggest win is
protecting my piece. And before I could, I felt like
I couldn't say that. You know, people see your best,
they see they see the podcast, they see the success,
but they don't see the internal work that it takes
(45:22):
to stay grounded, especially when you got a lot of
eyes on you.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
So I've learned to say no.
Speaker 2 (45:27):
I've learned to set boundaries to let everyone have asked
to me.
Speaker 1 (45:32):
So that's like a it went for me. And do you,
like really do what makes you happy?
Speaker 2 (45:40):
If it's travel, if it's spy, if it's walking, if
it's running, if it's exercising, whatever it is.
Speaker 1 (45:49):
You got to excuse us because you know we've talked
about this too.
Speaker 2 (45:53):
If this is not healthy and you not healthy, then
all this is gonna fall apart.
Speaker 1 (45:57):
Everything.
Speaker 2 (45:58):
It's so many people that depend on us, you know
what I mean in a beautiful way, people that we
pour it into. So like, if I'm not right, the
top of that pillar is not right, then all this
is gonna crumble, you know it is.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
That's the facts. So you got to protect.
Speaker 2 (46:15):
To pieces all the time because you work so hard
to have it and so you need to work or
even harder to keep it.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
That's true. Our next question, have you ever stayed too
long in a relationship or situation because you thought they'll
eventually get it together? What made you finally leave or stay? Oh?
I can can this? Yeah, yeah, I'm curious. I feel
(46:44):
like you know.
Speaker 2 (46:45):
Absolutely to this question I've stayed too long thinking love
could change somebody.
Speaker 1 (46:50):
We all be in that situation, you know.
Speaker 2 (46:52):
Oh, you know, maybe he'll change if I'm with them,
if I can teach them, or they eventually they would
catch up to where I was mentally or emotion But
the truth is you can't carry someone into readiness.
Speaker 1 (47:05):
That's just the truth. Oh that you can't. You can't.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
So I finally left when I realized I was losing
pieces of myself. I couldn't stay like y'all had to
get it together, trying to hold on to something, and
I'm losing myself.
Speaker 1 (47:24):
It wasn't right. So the breaking point for me was
choosing myself. Mm hmmmm hmm.
Speaker 2 (47:32):
I feel like we are all guilty and staying in
that job too long, and that that family reunion too long,
and in that relationship too long. Again, it comes with
growth of who we are and what we're trying to become.
It's just again humans on this experience and really learning
to love again. And so I steel like we have
(47:53):
done an exceptional job of understanding our worse.
Speaker 1 (47:57):
It goes down to that too, and understanding tolerance too, because.
Speaker 2 (48:02):
You know, it gets we get blinded and trying to
nurture others and trying to fix and trying to heal.
But when you look back and you're giving advice to
other people, would you receive that.
Speaker 1 (48:14):
Same?
Speaker 2 (48:14):
It's like that in return, would you? Would you always love?
I always put my daughters in in my shoes. I'm like,
would I want a man to or a young fella
to be treating them this way?
Speaker 1 (48:25):
Absolutely not? And my sons do. Am I teaching them
to treat young ladies this way? Absolutely not?
Speaker 2 (48:31):
So I have to look at myself and be like, yeah,
I'm the one that's leading by example. So if I
am going to tolerate, tolerate X, Y and Z, then
my kids are watching me and I'm stopping these generational curses.
I'm stopping this generational trauma. So it starts and ends
with me. And we have to acknowledge when there's in
(48:52):
the expiration day and it's okay, Like I actually learned
to be okay with being from Asian eighteen to even
in my thirties, I was in a partnership with somebody
leans on them, you know, expected X, Y and Z
from them, And so the point where I really just
have gotten too a space of learning who Alexis is
(49:14):
and what I tolerate and my piece piece is non
negotiable at this point. And what you see is what
you get that part okay in hindsight that yeah, I'm
actually okay in that hindsight that if this doesn't work out,
I'm okay with it, because whoever enters my life at
this space is for a reason. Whatever that capacity is.
(49:36):
It could be a partnership, it could be a friendship.
It could be business. It can be insight, it can
be consultation, it can be a lesson, it could be of.
Speaker 1 (49:47):
You know what. Yeah, you know, I had a good
time with this person.
Speaker 2 (49:50):
They really took the joint in my life and made
and elevated me and showed me. You know, it's cool
to be friends. It's cool to be this, It's cool
to pour into somebody and be vulnerable. And I hope,
I think think the whole point of loving somebody is
that you got to keep loving them over and over again.
Speaker 1 (50:05):
And so we have to understand that there's an expiration
date for everything.
Speaker 2 (50:10):
Just you know, the FDA puts a label and expiration
date on food. It's gonna go sour. So you either
you have we have to do better of recognizing that.
You know, like people are in your life for a
season and for a reason, and some gonna make it,
you know, if they're that part of a twig, or
that that that branch part of the you know, or or.
Speaker 1 (50:30):
Even the root. You know, I'm gonna get in sock there.
Is it hurtful?
Speaker 2 (50:36):
Yeah, But I don't look at it as a waste
of time. I don't look at it as a waste
of energy. I don't look at it as a waste
of life because it's really shaping me of who I am.
You know, you're not gonna get along with everybody. It's
just that's facts. That's true, Just facts. That's our next
question is what's something you hear from that you didn't
(50:58):
think you would. How did you get through it? My
my first thing is divorce. You know, you don't go
into a marriage thinking you're gonna be divorced.
Speaker 1 (51:09):
That's just golden. I didn't think I was gonna get
through it.
Speaker 2 (51:12):
Just the heartbreak, the heartache, the you know, this new
found independent this I'm talking and really taking care of
my children as a single mother. That is something I
didn't think I could get over. But here I am
five years later and thriving. I'm doing I'm following my dreams.
I figured out that I have the time now to
(51:33):
follow my heart and so all things happen for a reason.
Speaker 1 (51:37):
And actually I'm the healthiest I've ever been.
Speaker 2 (51:39):
I am the most skin is the best it's ever been. Mentally,
I'm more focused. I know exactly what I want, and
I'm at a place of filter and out bullshit.
Speaker 1 (51:52):
So I'm very grateful for that journey, you know what
i mean.
Speaker 2 (51:55):
Now you would have told me this day one post,
I would have been like, my.
Speaker 1 (52:00):
Life is over.
Speaker 2 (52:02):
I mean, this takes time and healing, therapy trips, yeah,
come on now, all of that. And because where it's trauma,
it's triggers. You know, we're coming from, you know, really grieving.
We're in a grieving periods and so like we have
to give ourself grace.
Speaker 1 (52:17):
And I think that was the main thing that I learned.
Speaker 2 (52:19):
I mean, had I've had this conversation with you, Tusharel,
like we have to give ourselves grace, like we are
so much these women that are like it has to
be like this, it should be like this, and it
looks like this, that's not possible. We got to give
ourself time. We have to give ourselves hiccups. We got
to give ourselves grace. We got to give ourselves madness
(52:42):
and crying time and in times where we just shut
it down, but check them, turn off the phone, don't
want to be bothered all of that.
Speaker 1 (52:51):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (52:52):
And I can only speak for myself because it's like,
I know what I needed for me to be this
alexis you know what about yourself, And it took time
and it's still taking time.
Speaker 1 (53:03):
It's a process, and so I feel the same thing.
You know.
Speaker 2 (53:07):
My biggest thing, you know, the divorce, through friends and everything,
My biggest thing is is betrayal. You know, I never
thought I would fully heal being let down by people
who were so close to me, who I loved and trusted.
But the main thing that really got me through everything was,
of course, like you said, therapy, prayer, traveling, and just
learning how to forgive people without needing an apology.
Speaker 1 (53:30):
That's it. That's the biggest thing. Just forgive you don't
need an apology.
Speaker 2 (53:36):
Everything I had to release the way of carrying other
people choices like that was the main thing heal. Initial
choice you have to make so me, I just I
had to fix myself and understand who I am, let
it go, move on.
Speaker 1 (53:52):
And it's still a work in progress, wouldn't you agree?
Speaker 2 (53:55):
Like every day, aren't you learning stuff about it?
Speaker 1 (53:59):
Just so I oh I am yay.
Speaker 2 (54:02):
I'm like yeah, like you know, I'm you know, in
that dating stage for example, I'm like, yeah, no, that
turned me off moving on or whatever the case may be,
or speaking up more and having boundaries and just these
non negotiables.
Speaker 1 (54:14):
Yeah, I'm with you.
Speaker 2 (54:15):
I'm with you, Charille, and I'm proud of you too,
because I've seen the growth and you know it's takes time,
you know, and you're very You're very hard.
Speaker 1 (54:25):
On yourself, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (54:27):
Yeah, you're so hard on yourself and it's no time living.
You cannot put time on healing like you really cannot,
and you know you got to push forward. And so
I'm proud of you. You've done a great job. Thank you,
my love, thank you our next when we got our
humble baddies mail and I'm proud of YouTube licks. You know,
(54:49):
I get my motivation. You may not do it, but
I love being around you. I love being around you,
ladies because y'all teach. Y'all may not know it, but
y'all teach so much. You know, just by your actions,
how you carry yourself as a woman, how you speak
like it's just it's it's beautiful to be able to
call you my friend and have someone like you and
(55:09):
Ashley around because you learn so much without even knowing that.
Speaker 1 (55:13):
So I'm truly grateful to have thank you for that.
Speaker 2 (55:17):
Same here I know, shout out to Ashley and her
absence and Poorchue. You know, she just came through a
couple of times and just like everyone that we touched,
so I received that.
Speaker 1 (55:27):
Thank you so much for that. Thank you. All right,
let's get into it. We have our humble baddy's mail.
Speaker 2 (55:36):
I've got you, boo. You're ready for me? Yes, I'm
ready for you, Okay, boob. Dear humble baddies, that's us.
I need you how to keep it real with me?
I was with my ex for nine years. We lived together,
built multiple businesses together, and I supported him through every
(55:59):
job changes, family drama, even his health scares. Every time
I brought up marriage, he said he's not ready or
he needs more time to be stable. We finally broke
up eight months later, he's engaged to a girl he
met after me.
Speaker 1 (56:16):
I feel like I invested all my best.
Speaker 2 (56:18):
Years into building him up for someone else to refits.
I've blocked him on everything because seeing his new life hurts,
But a part of me still wants to confront.
Speaker 1 (56:27):
Him and ask why not me?
Speaker 2 (56:30):
Am I wrong? They're feeling bitter? Should I get my
closure or just focus on healing? Love you All, Love
Y'all's podcast Stacy from Chicago with sub Stacy from the
Shot and Stacy, Damn, that's hurt. That's a sad situation.
But I feel like everything you're feeling, Stacey is one
(56:50):
hundred percent valid. You love them, you built with them,
you sacrifice for him, and now you're watching him give
everything that y'all built together to someone else, something that
you prayed for. It's not just the heartbreak, but I
feel like it's a betrayal mixed with confusion. So it's hard.
It's very hard. But you can't force someone. You gotta understand, Stacey.
(57:13):
You can't force someone to be ready for you if
you aren't ready for if they're not ready for themselves.
So it's one of those things like we spoke about earlier,
you just you know, he'll.
Speaker 1 (57:24):
Get over it and move on.
Speaker 2 (57:29):
Yeah, and it's a lesson in it self, And don't
feel like don't I feel like we again we're harder
on ourselves. And you cannot regret anything that you poured
into this person because that's who you are, Stacy, you.
Speaker 1 (57:40):
Are that giver. You helped him in X Y and
Z y'all built these businesses.
Speaker 2 (57:45):
You were supposed to be in his life for that reason,
and he was supposed to be in your life for
that reason. Now moving forward, you cannot bring this to
be into the next You know, that is your ex
for a reason. Again, it was not meant to be
and now you are meant to be for someone else,
or you're meant to be in this space of being
(58:06):
by yourself, and that's okay. You have to get to
a space of understanding who you are and your essence
and your worth and that right person, you know, especially
because I feel like you're in reciprocated energy and reflection.
So like what I'm reflecting to you is what you're
gonna attract. So if you're like sad and hurt, you're
(58:27):
gonna attract somebody that's gonna take advantage of that. But
if you're graceful and you're happy and you're just open,
you're gonna receive somebody that's.
Speaker 1 (58:35):
Open as well.
Speaker 2 (58:36):
So I you know, my suggestion is for you to like,
I'm glad you're gonna give mental health. That's fine, do
what it is best for you. But at the same time,
starf focusing on yourself. You're gonna and go out with
your friends, go out and turn up and have a
good time because that's where you're gonna meet somebody, and
you know your time com and now you just some
(58:57):
more equipped. You have experience now of what you want
and what you don't want. And you got to understand.
They say, as far as closure, you already have it.
He showed you who he was going back for answers.
Definitely ain't gonna heal it, heal it. All it's gonna
do is just open up more wounds. So just healing
silence and glow girl and glowing slash lestack, go out,
(59:20):
have fun, enjoy life.
Speaker 1 (59:21):
You got this girl, yep, And that's that say, then
said and done.
Speaker 2 (59:31):
But it does come from time. Time heals all wounds,
it really does. That's true. That's true, all right, guys,
that is it for the Humble Baddies.
Speaker 1 (59:41):
Another one in the book. Y'all were about to call
it a night, were about to wrap it up. Oh shit,
y'all lost me, y'all, but I can hear you. Where'd
you go? Where's share round?
Speaker 2 (59:55):
We said, I'm gonna beat Sonny behind, because Sony behind?
Speaker 1 (59:59):
Because how you are you back?
Speaker 2 (01:00:01):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (01:00:01):
But now you're gone? But where at the end? Anyway?
So where can they? Thank you? There you go?
Speaker 2 (01:00:07):
You can find me at Chirrel. This is Auto Underscore
on Instagram. Make sure you follow our podcast on Instagram,
Humble Batty's podcast and follow us.
Speaker 1 (01:00:16):
Subscribe to us.
Speaker 2 (01:00:17):
Tell your cousins aby daddy's your mistress? Yes or whoever
he is, whoever she is to follow us. Subscribe to
us at Humble Batty's podcast on YouTube. Yes, so you
can find me at Alexis Underscore. Stotamyra on Instagram and
shout out to But there was a few ladies that
came through at Smith and Western's over the weekend that
(01:00:39):
watch our shows. So shout out to them. I know
y'all watch and they were like.
Speaker 1 (01:00:43):
Where's sense the Humble Batties. I was like, thank you
so much.
Speaker 2 (01:00:45):
Shout out to y'all and they definitely watched the show too,
So thank you for watching and if you have anything
you want to reach out to us, hit us up
at contact at humblebatties dot com. Until next time, We'll
see you y'all on Wednesday,
Host
Shannon Sharpe
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