July 28, 2025 • 42 mins
Sharelle & Alexis discuss the joys and difficulties of running successful businesses while raising children. Later, they discuss pretty privilege and if people are benefiting in the workforce based off good looks and not talent.
00:00 - Intro
9:35 - Pretty Privilege
21:15 - Mommyhood Meets Boss Life
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Like get in my weight, never out of my lad.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
It's been like you was in the morning one. So
what is gonna be, baby squad, We've been the gold
shoes running on us.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Won't you need baby? Won't you keep me company?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Give me something the jube and I get only I
just soone for you when we get home, if you
let me put it.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Good Monday? Hey, Hey, Hey, what's up? What's up? What's up?
This is the last Monday of the month.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Oh, I haven't been keeping up with the days of
the week. I've been so busy.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Yes, it's been nine stop. It is the last Monday
of the month. We made it. We're here. Welcome everybody
to another episode of Humble Baddies. Yes, I've been good.
I've been good.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
I was gonna say, our girl Portia couldn't make you today.
She's handling her household goods and actually just living her
that it's life.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
I love it. You know that's true.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
But I've been so busy. Oh my goodness, it's been.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
I've been. It's truly a blessing. But I was able.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
I told you before we opened up an office in
Dallas and we did our grand opening. We have about
my team, the team lead Freddy and Andre are running
that down there, and we have about a whole neighborhood
on the golf course that we're listening, so that we
had some fun neighborhoods. Ye yeah, I'll shout out to
(01:40):
my team lead Freddie and Andre down there. But I
went down there, met all the agents.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
We had a big grand opening.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Our first day, we toured all the homes that were
just built, and the next day we played some golf,
did a little turn up in Dallas. I'm liking Dallas.
I'm thinking about, you know, relocating.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Oh what you mean, It's so beautiful like relocating, like
moving to Dallas. So wait a minute, time out. Are
you one of those ones that when you go somewhere
and you start to fall in love with the area,
the people, the vibes, and you're like, hmmm, I might
be able to I might want to move here. I
was like I heard that with you know when y'all
(02:23):
were in Aspa lately.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
You know, I can have multiple places, but seriously, my
business here in Tampa, you know, we have that's the
main I call it the main headquarters. It's running smoothly,
so I have people in place, I'm the type to
put people in leadership places to run the business while
(02:48):
you know, I go to the next and build an
empire there. The next city, build an empire there. So
my Charlotte office is good, My Tampa office is good,
my Miami office is good. Dallas is good. And I
could just move around and that's what you should do.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
I love that for you.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Actually, So yeah, I have I have a total of
eighty eight agents and.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
They're killing it.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
It's a power it's a powerhouse, yes it is. But
but I had fun. I enjoyed it. I went out,
we had a good time with the agents, and the
nightlife was good. The restaurants were amazing. Yeah, Dallas is beautiful.
It is.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
It's vibrant and has a lot of culture and its
own way being that it's Texas. So I hear it.
I like that rustic vibe that they have. And yeah,
boys boots and the hats and the.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Oh I you where's my hat?
Speaker 1 (03:46):
I was blessed.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
I was the meat, the cows everything. I gotta show
it next time. But I got a nice cowboy hat made.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Yeah that's I'm saying all the good stuff. That that good,
the good rustic vibes. I love that. And it's so
many opportunities, that's what I love about. It's a lot
of wealth in Dallas, also like family wealth and very
much like a hustle ambition and just to really just
keep the generational wealth going. That's what I have noticed
(04:17):
about Dallas.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Yeah, so one the listings that we did get in
the community, most of the land is owned by the
black family and the father he started building and now
he's passing it to his daughter. She's about thirty five
thirty six years old, and she has became a developer
(04:39):
and now she's taken over building properties in that lot.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
So I love that. It was beautiful, that's good stuff. Yes.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
And then this weekend, I'm sorry, I got this weekend.
I'm planning, you know, taking my daughter on her plane
of vacation. Got her a little PJ. We're gonna go
to Jamaica for the weekend. Beautiful before I sent her
off the college. A mommy and me trip. Yes, well,
speaking of mommy and me trips, I just got off
of one literally a few hours ago.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
I went to Cooperstown with Elijah, my youngest who is
my baseball player, my good friend, family friend, CC Sabathia
was inducted into the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame.
He is the first black left handed pitcher to be inducted. Okay, yes,
(05:34):
in the National League, in American League. So I'm so proud.
It's been been a blessing to have this family that
I've seen their children grow up. They have four children
like myself and my best My best friend is Amber Sabathia.
Shout out to Amber. And so we were just there
to support support her and support CC and the family.
(05:55):
And this journey, which is just a big deal, Like
that was my first time going to Cooperstown, which is
this quaint little town that is all the homes have
been preserved. They have rules where you have to keep
the standard of like very much old Upper New York
Hudson Valley homes, and so they keep the integrity and
(06:17):
this is their major This twice a year is a
big time for the MLB, but this is the biggest
because you're inducting the five players and so just the
experience overall for Elijah being a baseball player, to see
this that he can attain this, to see the journey,
to see that you know, this is New York, New
York Dandy, the fact that there's so many things that
(06:41):
have came from being in a career of being a
baseball player, living in New York, and since Elijah was
born in New York when we spent time there too,
Like it's just a beautiful thing to see a black
family being represented in Major League Baseball. And I'm wearing
my shirt, I got some merch.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Okay, okay, the march.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Yes, you know, like we we got to represent up
in here. Okay, yeah, I know that's all right, No,
but they're just good people and you know this is
this is rare. You know that we have one of
our friends that have made it. So shout out to
the family. So it was great. That's what I was
a great mommy and son trip because you know how
(07:21):
that gets. We got to be able to spend because
I travel differently with my children. I you know, you
love them differently. You have to spread your time, you
have to you have to you know, discipline them differently.
They're just all are different. So it was just good
to have that time away from the other three too,
(07:41):
just him.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
That's what Ariana got on to me the other day.
She was like, Mom, you don't you don't discipline Serenity.
You let her do whatever she want to do. We
was our age. We used to get toe up. You
used to are you at us this? I was like,
but she's a baby.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Oh see, there you go. She's the baby. She's the baby. See.
I would say, like to each of them, I'm like
a side of For example, my youngest daughter, I'm like,
you're my favorite youngest daughter. You know, we do certain
things together, and then they do certain things together.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
So yeah, I feel like every parent have a favorite child,
no matter what they say, every parent has a favorite child.
I know, Yeah, who's your favorite? So I have different
it's different categories. So just overall, my best friend is
is Ariana and my favorite is probably Denim.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Denim oh oh, but they know that though and Serenity,
Serenity gets away with it. Serenity runs the household. That's hilarious. Yeah,
but that sounds about right.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Yes, So what we're talking about today, girl with what's
going on?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
So for our first segment, we have pretty privilege or performance?
So about pretty privilege versus performing In a world where
followers and filters dominate, are people being rewarded more for
their appearance than their actual talent. From the casting couch
to TikTok fame, the lines between talent and esthetic appeal
(09:24):
are blurrier than ever. While some people naturally benefit from
being conventionally attractive, others are left wondering if their skills
even matter anymore. This is this a societal issue or
just the way the game works? So charrelle, let's get
this going. Have you ever been told you only get
(09:45):
something because of your looks? And how does that make
you feel?
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Of course, I've definitely been told, oh, you only got
the job because of how you look. And at first,
you know, I used to downplay it, like, damn what,
I'm not qualified? Like, you know, I believe it. I
was young and I believed like but I knew that
I had traits to get the job done. But actually
(10:12):
prime example, so, when I first came into the military
two years in, I was offered a job to work
for the Division Command sern Major.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
It was an HR job, but it was the E
five position. I was an E work.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
But I was promotable and it was out of a
few of us, and they were like, oh, you only
got the job because of your looks or whatever. So
I felt like I had to prove a point and
showed it wasn't just my looks, like I don't want,
you know, no one to carry, especially being a female
in a predominantly male division eighty second avern division. That's
(10:49):
the worst reputation that can go on saying oh, you
only got the job because of your looks, because then
people start taking you know, spreading rumors and making things
worse than what they were. So my thing was I
had to approve a point, like I'm fit for this job.
I'm great at PT I'm just good at what I do,
and I feel like some looks can open doors, but
(11:13):
it's what you do. It's not just the looks. Looks
make and get you into it, but you have to
show that you're capable for that job, your position.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
You're you're right where you basically can show what you
what you're capable of. You can you can show them
better than you could tell them. That's what I That's
the right thing that I always say. So I agree
with you on that for sure, you know. I just
I think being in the military too, you know, which
is very male dominated, you have to you know, in
(11:46):
your work harder. Oh yeah, exactly Twice it's harder.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Definitely work harder, and it's it's not for like you
got to have thick skin being in it, like they're
going to say the most craziest things, but you just
gotta brush it off. And people may say, yeah, looks, looks,
get you this, looks and get you that. But after
so long, looks can only go so far. Like I said,
(12:12):
you have to show what you can do right right
to determine it what's next. So but I've also got rejected.
I feel like because of my looks, I got overlooked
on on jobs.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Yeah, that's definitely how it could backfire for sure. It's
almost like you know, you're too pretty or you're to this,
and they just assume that maybe you are. You know,
you get you're getting everything, You're getting all the contracts
because of your looks, and so they're like, yah, since
she's doing this already, let me go all the other way.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Exactly what about you? Have you been in a situation.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Where I was trying to think, Not necessarily to me,
it would be more like stereotypical, just like put in
the box of like being like a baby mama of
an athlete, you know, just being put in these these
boxes of this is all she is, and so it's
(13:12):
like we're actually more than we do a lot more
than most people just assume, you know. So I wouldn't
say it's really privily privileged. It's more so like, yes,
it's it's like pretty privileged. Plus you know, monetary you know,
you can access, and just fame and fortune and all
these things, and combining that you become a public figure
(13:36):
and accessible and to the point where people want to start, like,
you know, making things hurt it for you. Essentially we're
like our own we're our biggest critics on ourselves. But
at the same time we have these strangers and fans
and people that are just like, you know, they got
it like this, so let them. You know. They just
see that you have access. They see that you have
(13:57):
the front pass, the fast passes, the no one ever
says no past, you know. So it's a combination of
all of that for me, and I feel like, really,
since I was young into this, it's been half of
my life, you know that, you know that I've been
pretty much being in these rooms of privilege, being in
(14:19):
these rooms of being able to have business deals, being
the first ones to look be looked at in investments
in first rounds because they you know, you look at it,
and it's like the wealth get wealthier, the rich get
richer because they're in these rooms, you know what I mean.
So you're always like on whether it's even at a
dinner or a casual like setting like at a listening
(14:42):
party or something like that, you're still in these rooms
with exclusive people. So like you are. That's a privilege
in itself, you know.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Well, listen, I don't got overlooked on different things as
I sit back and think about it, even like there's
looks to certain things, like even playing basketball. You know,
I used to play basketball, and when I tried when
I got stationed till Fort it's Fort Liberty now, but
Fort Bragg. I tried out for the bas basketball team
(15:11):
and they can't. They was looking at me like who
this girl is? Like this ain't no no, this like
a real team. They overlooked me. They picked their little
teams or whatever. They overlooked me. But when I showed
what I had, they was like, okay. They used to
call me lights Out. Lights South was my nickname, Like you.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Were a three point shooter.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
I was a two guard, two guard Okay, yeah, I
love that I had a mean double crossover.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
I know that's right.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
But but the thing but because of how I look,
I looked too girly. And most people think that, you know,
if he plays sports, you gotta be a tom boy,
you gotta be this, you gotta be that. And that's
not the case. So looks can another example.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Let's look skinned to see you because I agree with you.
Like when I was hooping to I was more of
the like feminine player because I was like, because I
also played volleyball. We're in those tights and then and
then I would run track and then in those little shorts,
so like and I have body you know, you've seen,
you know, muscle memory. I was, Yes, I would like
(16:21):
pull up to the track and or pull up to
the gym, and they're like, okay, well let's see what
she gonna do, you know, And then now I'm giving
them the business. I'm dominating, you know exactly. Yeah, so
you know he can get looked at it like that.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
But about to say I know the same, the same
thing I have. I have so many examples. So I
do government contracting as well, and I just recently got
into a predominantly white male industry, which is development, SDVO
SB service Disabled veteran owned building VA clinics. And sometimes
(16:59):
they have pre big meetings where you have to go,
you travel to whatever cety you're bidding on for a
certain project. So I come in there with my little
you know, business top on, with my little pants and
my little heels, and you got these these CEOs of
these big businesses coming in there, you know, and they
(17:20):
thought I'd worked for the VA when it was tithing
to do roll call or whatever. And I'm like, no,
I'm a lower management solutions. I'm here to bid on
this contract. So but they people overlook you thinking that
you can't be in that same field.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Just it's crazy. We're not as smart, not as capable, right,
none of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I love it though. Yeah,
you know, it's good to always like do a silent stunt,
you know what I mean, They doubted you, and then
you come around and like showing them like you know what,
(17:56):
now what exactly? It didn't even better. I mean even
being in the culinary space. Now it's a male dominant
industry and so you have to hold your own You
cannot be sensitive. You have to be very much focused
on who you are and to me right now, just
in the trends of everything, authenticity is what people are
(18:20):
wanting and searching and yearning for. This is what we
deserve because you know, you got to be yourself. We
can't be trying to chase cloud and you know, be
cookie cutter, and you know, just like this right now
is the time for us to really shine, to like
really be ourselves. You know that's true, That is so true. Yeah,
(18:46):
wherever we now, but yeah, you know, privileged privilege is
the thing, and you're right, it's really it really is
in every industry. I feel like, you know, yes, it is.
You just always have to prove yourself. It's crazy, you
have to prove it. But I feel like it's starting
to transition. I feel like people are starting to transition
(19:09):
away from just hiring people for looks like looked, hiring
for just pretty have gotten a lot of people in
a lot of trouble, especially when it comes to women
and men. So you just have to be careful, you
do you do? Should we be holding brands and platforms
accountable for pushing beauty over brilliant?
Speaker 2 (19:36):
I think beauty is the tool It'll get you in.
But it takes more than that. I think brands shouldn't
just rely on beauty unless it's just you don't need anything,
you're there for just pictures, or they need a certain
a certain aesthetic for their brand.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Yeah, yeah, because right now everybody that's how that's the
number one marketing tool is social media, and especially in
the beauty industry, that's how they get their their marketing
and their advertisement of like, look, the more beautiful you are,
the more opportunities you have. You have, the hotter guy,
the hotter girl, you have, the better job you have,
(20:14):
the better vacations, the dating lives or whatever, just all
these things. It's a lot of pressure. It definitely is
a lot of pressure.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
But I don't think. I think when it comes to
beauty brands, you don't really require the the what they're
looking for for.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
It's just looks.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
It doesn't require too much, especially when it comes to marketing.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Yes, okay, well let's move on, Yes, all right too.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Bombyhood meets boss her Life. It's right, can you really
do both without burning out? And is it a balance
even a real thing? And it's balanced even a real thing,
you know What's I get this all the time, and
it's so hard being the boss, the only person in
the household that's bringing in the income, trying to take
(21:10):
care of everything and still do mommy mode. Like I
get so like people who don't know what's going on.
They criticize me so much. But I also get women
who look up to me and support me because they're like, like,
I just look, I admire you so much because you know,
you established all this, you have this going and you're
(21:31):
still you know, doing what you have to do to
make sure your kids are good.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Well. To me, it's been a beautiful transition of my
children really seeing firsthand how I am navigating so much.
Now they can appreciate it. Obviously when they're young. You
see there's one now making noise, the youngest one.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
You know.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
It's just they get to see their mother in all
these different hats that I wear, whether it's the nurse,
it's their friend, it's their concert going friend, or you know,
we vacation, we are learning, we do philanthropy, all these things.
I feel like, you know, they get to see these
many hats. They also get to see the other side
(22:17):
of it, the boss, the one that's paying the bills,
that's grinding, that's keeping the lights on. Because now that
my children are older and they're starting to have their
own cars and things that they're like have to maintain,
they're learning that, you know what mom and dad like,
especially Mom, you know she was she's holding down and
also navigating emotional stress and all those different you know,
(22:40):
things that we have to deal with too. They're seeing
how I'm coping. They're seeing how I'm dating, and seeing
how I'm you know, communicating, And it's just so much
education in being all of the above that you can
really show them like this is the real world. Like
I'm tired, Like you see these bags we travel today.
You know, we were in we were in the car
(23:02):
at two thirty. We had to take two flights. You know,
we were in the car for an hour and forty minutes.
Like I handle that like the best, the best project
manager I can be. You know, I'm a scholar at
this now. So it's like to navigate that I'm the
I'm the you know, the itinerary planner, I'm the manager,
(23:22):
the nurse everything, you know, we the valet, we we everybody,
the chauffirst, all these things, and so it's like they're
seeing what real life is. So forget all the people
out there that are just like, you know, criticizing all that.
They only see the flash the picture that you show,
you know what I mean. They don't see that no
(23:42):
one's there signing that check when them taxes come through,
or when that bill comes through, or you know, you
ask somebody's asking for their phone to be fixed and
you know they need it, you know. So it's just
all these things. So you know, I wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Like people just see. And that's what I love. I
only show what I want to show. People only just see.
Oh they think I'm traveling, but really it's a business trip.
That's you know, that's our brand. I'm all over the place.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
But you're Google, That's what. That's what.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
But but the thing about it is, and it's very
like you stated on it, you have to you have
to have a schedule, you have to lay it out
there because it's not easy. It's hard. It's very hard,
and I wake up. I had to get organized to
be able to be as successful as I am, to
make sure that I'm not.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Missing a good key baseball game. You're right, being more organized,
because that's huge. You're right, you don't want to miss nothing.
You and we got a lot, but go ahead. I
just want to know it's true. I have serious I
said everything.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
I'm making sure I'm not missing a baseball game, making
sure I'm not missing you know, a call with the school.
Ariana's going off the college. I have to make sure
her stuff is done. So I'm allocating. I'm combining both
my work schedule with my personal life life. And I
never operated off of personal lifefe off of personal calendar
until I became an entrepreneur. So it's trying to balance both.
(25:09):
But with the technology here that we have today, it
makes it easier. Yes it's busy, Yes we have to
go from one place to another, but it pays off absolutely.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
And you know there's many categories that you're spreading yourself
then too, it's not easy. I know we might make
it look easy, but like you know, here we are
with y'all on a Monday night, tapping in you know
what I mean, Like kids have been fed, they're can
make me down, you know what I'm saying, Like we
knock that out. We are now working things like that.
(25:41):
So it's just a balance of that, and then let's
add in you know ourselves to our self care. You're
starting to add that, and then you're starting to add
family time and then a boo, you know, a spouse.
You got to cut that. You know, that pie is
getting smaller and smaller them slices, you know, because you're
really having to balance all of anything that you know
(26:03):
for your essence of who you are. And so like
you know with the children, that's this is being a
boss too. We have our friends, we got our romantic time,
romantic time, and our social time, and then we have
to do our rest in therapy and you know, all
these things. So it's work all these things. It's a lot.
It's a lot, but we're doing.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
My next question, my question to you is what's the
hardest part of trying to balance motherhood and entrepreneurship. What's
your hardest part.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
To me, it would be feeling guilty that like I'm
gone a lot or I am missing a game because
I would be able to be more available, but now
I'm wearing so many hats and elevated. I mean, I
was in school and now these so many opportunities are happening.
(26:52):
And it's the beautiful thing is my children are old enough,
like I put in that when they were younger, you know,
with the those in those formative years of like rearing them.
So now they know how to be self sufficient because
now you know, I'm talking about twenty year olds and
eighteen almost nineteen year olds next month, seventeen year old.
They're old enough now so where I can really because
(27:15):
I used to feel guilty about it, but now like
it's the minute I back up from my garage and
I'm leaving in my suitcase, I know, like this is
the beginning of so much for me. It's my time,
and so like I don't feel guilty about that now,
you know again before it used to be, but now
(27:35):
I'm just like, this is what I've been called to do.
I'm now you know, gonna be speaking on panels now.
I need to be seen at these events. I need
to be active, and I'm the type of person that
shows up for my people, and you know, I'm going
to show up for all the people that show up
for me. And it requires a lot of energy too.
(27:58):
But one thing about me, I'm gonna balance it. You know,
you know how I get you look up and you
won't hear from me three days because I didn't unplugged.
I didne got recalibrated because I can be super social
and then I'll get I need to shut that. I
got to shut it down or like redirect my energy
back to work, back to whatever I need to do.
So yeah, you have to balance it. So I used
(28:20):
to feel guilty, but not now because now everybody grown
and I did well. Alexa, she did great, So I
earned this time to now be able to move around
because I always I think about you real too, because
you got a little one. So it's like, girl, you
were almost like, you know, working them down and damn
(28:43):
because I was like chasing after going. But at least
you are equipped for this already because you've been there.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
You know, you know what's expected, so you do have
like a shortcut. I do the good thing about it.
She's at that age where she traveled with me as well,
or exactly my dad. They both to come with me,
so it works out perfect. But I would say my
hardest part of trying to balance motherhood and entrepreneurship was
guilty and the time not having everything organized when I
(29:14):
first got into it. That is key, and being able
to and learning how to be selfish. That was the
biggest and it's okay to be selfish because like I
always say, if you're not taking care of and you're not,
then your operation the household ain't it's going to fall apart.
So I think those were my biggest trying to learn
(29:38):
how to you know, and take in so but I mean,
it's amazing. You can't continue to dwell on it. You
just have to figure out a way, figure out a
system that works best for you and your household, and
you can get it done. But if you're dwelling on
a situation, like if we both dwell on us feeling
(29:58):
guilty this whole time, we let so much much time
has by where we don't get anything accomplished.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
So it's like.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
I damn if I do, damn if I don't, Like,
don't focus and dwell on this, you can make stuff happen,
and you just communicate and let let your kids know
this is what I'm doing. I'm quick to tell mine,
because ain't nobody gonna tell you your mama always gone.
You gonna know where I'm gone. You're gonna know where
I'm at. You're gonna know why. And because you like
this lifestyle that you know I'm giving to you this
(30:26):
is why I'm doing it.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
So yeah, because people crazy.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
That oh yeah mama. Here in knee streets people out
and heard people say this to other kids' moms, And
I know they work, they behind off like it's been
single you know, single moms out here busting. They tell
if sometimes it'll be your family members. Yeah, yeah, because
they don't understand. But but that was the biggest thing.
(30:55):
And I feel like, you know, I did a great
job communicating and being able to just keep them up
to date on everything that's going on.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Yes, let's see what kind of support system makes the
biggest difference and what happens when you don't have one.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
Ooh ooh, I think. So that's another blessing, you know
the fact that my mom is right around the corner. Again,
that my children are older. But beforehand, I did have
help and in addition to good family members. That's a
real thing. When you say it takes a village, like
when I say, that's a real thing. So like the
(31:36):
beautiful privilege and blessing to be able to have hired
help that is like, you know, this is what their
passion is. They you're paying and to like monitor your
children and take care of them. Like that's a beautiful thing,
and it really it's a testament to finding good help.
You know, if you're able to in a good or
a good daycare, a good a good sitter, a good
(31:59):
you know, babysitter, all these things, just because you have
to have that balance. And you know, honestly, I couldn't
imagine raising four children like this. You know, the things
that they've seen, the places they've been, the wave they've
been navigated, and you know, shown so much without help,
without even me being able to go, Like that's another
(32:22):
reason why I'm able to go, Like my mom is here,
you know, she's at my house, and I have people
at my house, and you know, the kids can nothing,
nothing changes. There's still gonna be food, They're still gonna
be going to this practice, They're still gonna go to
this game, they still have this playdate. Everything keeps running
even if I'm not here. And that does take you know, commitment,
(32:44):
But I cannot imagine not having help, and most people
don't have help. So it's a beautiful thing that you know,
in privilege that I was able to have that even
even with a night nurse or you know, nighttime nannies
and people who care for these kids. Like I didn't
have that, but my mom was able to pick up
and just be right there and want a beautiful thing
(33:06):
that I'm able to have her and I know she's watching,
So shout out to my mom and mama. But like
it's trickled down to her grandkids now where she I
don't even have to think about my kids, you know,
because once she's gonna discipline them, she's gonna feed them,
and she gonna love them, and she's gonna spoil them,
so they really I could really go be on a
panel and be happy and be vibrant and be myself.
(33:28):
I can really go be in a kitchen and have
a project and execute that. I can go and you know,
go be on a beautiful date somewhere away and not
worry about my kids and no one interrupted me. Like
so it's just all these different things I'm able to
do because I do have that support system. And whether
it's family, a friend, a coworker, somebody you trust. What
(33:50):
a blessing that they can pick your kids up from school,
they can you know, you can carpool, they can go
get some groceries for you. If you're sick. They can
take over for you, like that is my number one
thing is to get that help, and I just can't
imagine not having it. You want that help because even
if it's crying on someone's shoulder, like just taking a break,
because it can get overwhelming. So I just can't imagine
(34:14):
not having a support system.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Yeah, it definitely can. I'm truly grateful for both of
my parents, you know, my daddy and my mom. They
are like a blessing to have. They're both retired and
I can call them. They'll be here within the next hours,
jumping on a flight if I need them. So truly grateful.
It's just hard. I have people, you know, single moms
(34:39):
reaching out to me saying and it's hard now it's
not like it used to be, back in the days
where you can have your neighbor, Like I remember going
up our family. They used to take turns carpooling. It's
so it's not like that anymore. So it's so hard
to even try to give advice. Exactly, I don't even
(34:59):
know my neighbors, never met him a.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
Day like that. You're right, you could be like, I'll
be back in a couple of hours. She's over there
by herself for a minute or something like they it's
not like it's hard to trust people. It is so hard,
It truly is.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
It's hard to give advice, Like when mothers tell me, like,
how do you do it? What's some advice you can
give me? Is I can't give no advice if you
don't have a support system.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
It's hard. It is hard, especially because of that experience. Yeah,
of having it.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
Yeah, but I'm truly grateful to be able to have,
you know, that support system. And even with my daughter,
she's nineteen and she's she's just great, like anything with Serenity,
she's here. She if or if you know, they don't
need to go to baseball practice. She's driving.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
He practiced all the way out.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
It's an hour and a half drive. And sometime, you know,
she see that I'm working hard. She's like, Mom, don't worry.
I'll take them to practice, take them to practice, take
them to something, some of his games. It's just it's
a blessing the people that I have around me.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
That helps out. It's so cute because I always see
your father with Serenity. You know, Yes, that's his best friend. Yes,
freak and Fred that's the right, like when I'm just
like and you know she knows how to work them too. Oh, yeah,
she knows how to work him. She works than me.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
I be like, you know how the parents be like
call it the your children the here to go, get
the remote and if you arm reach, she do the
same thing.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
So I said, girl, where you learned this from?
Speaker 2 (36:39):
I feel sorry for whoever you have to do, whoever
have to deal with you when you get older. Papa,
yeah him, my charger, Oh the charge of arm reach
could be like no, you get it. She busts out crying.
I said, girl, you are too school. It's crazy that girl,
(37:02):
she is a mess. She has her daddy personality. I
don't I feel sorry for whoever.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
Isn't that funny? Like it's funny how our children really
do take on some of our personalities, and both parents too,
you know they get a little bit of that because
even I see it in my kids too. I'm like, yep,
that's your dad, Yep, there there is right, Yeah, those
mannerisms or those like it's so crazy. I know where
(37:30):
you got that from your daddy.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
Your physical appearance and how they walk, everything is crazy.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
I love it though, I mean we wouldn't change it
for anything.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
Like, let's be real, what's something you had to unlearn
about being a perfect mom to become a present one?
Speaker 1 (37:52):
Oh? To me, it was really like giving myself grace.
I had to really realize that Alexi's you are doing
a phenomenal job. We want to do everything for our children,
we want to give them everything. And because of everything
we did just speak of, you know, a little bit ago,
we're wearing so many hats and so I've really now
(38:14):
learned to prioritize Alexis. I'm going to go to the spot,
I'm going to take the trip, I'm going to go
on the date. I'm going to go to the beach.
I'm going to go have that meal. I'm going to
go take care of myself because I know one thing.
If I'm not right mentally, emotionally, physically, and I'm unhealthy,
(38:34):
then all this shit going down. It's just I invented
that binder, that life binder for the tribe of lex
and it's a tight shit, you know what I mean.
So I just make sure I take care of myself
because I'm the most important factor for this family. I
know that and I feel that, and if anything were
(38:55):
to happen to me that I couldn't. That was almost
self inflicted. That is just harmful for my children. You know,
if there's things I can prevent by balancing my life
and taking care of myself and praying and meditating and
like having that girl time and talking to someone and
you know again making sure I feel loved and appreciate it,
(39:15):
I'm gonna go insane. I know what I need. I
need a book. Sometimes I need a night out with
my girls. Sometimes I need that good glass of wine.
I need that bath, I need actually to sleep in.
That's another thing I've been trying to prioritize, like you know,
not responding back to texts quickly and those deans, those alerts,
(39:36):
because I'm like I'm living off of like alerts of
other people in my house. Like how disrespectful was that
to my you know, my funds. So I'm like turning
it off and then I when I'm able to return
the call, the text, the message that I can, then
I will, you know, obviously to be in a timely
manner of like, you know, nothing's getting lapsed, but it's
(40:00):
not important right now to me. I'm the most important
factor right now.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
I think my biggest thing I had to unlearn that
a perfect mom doesn't exist. So once I understood that, like,
there's no such thing as a perfect mom. And as
long as you're making sure that you're taking care of
your kids, you know, they have a roof over their head,
they have food and you know food in the house,
(40:26):
they have lights, they have shelter, and you're able to
give them the necessities that they need. You're doing a
good job.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
That's all facts.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
So the biggest thing is, you know, we used to
question am I good enough?
Speaker 1 (40:44):
Like I don't want to make this mistake.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
But I look back when I was a child, and
you know, I've used to wonder why I didn't have
this or why didn't have that? But now as I'm older,
my mom in my head she was an amazing mother
because she worked her ass off to get me. I'm
the reason who I'm the person I am today because
of my mom. She you know, she prayed with us,
she took us to church. She left a great God
(41:11):
for me to be a great mother.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
Yes, and I second that. I second that with you.
I praise my parents too, because I got to see
both of them in the household, like doing their part
for my sister, and I tell them all the time,
like y'all did a great job, Like wow, you know,
I just attained to be parents like you guys, because
you did a hell of a job with me and
(41:35):
you did a hell of a job with my sisters.
So it's like we are phenomenal women. We're phenomenal wives
where mothers. We're good people. And you're to what you
were saying, sharel like that's the that's the best beautiful
blessing you can pass down because now here we are
the same bloodline, and that's another currency of generational wealth
(41:59):
is now being able to take care of these kids
because we were seen and showing it properly. You know,
we know the opposite of it. So we're like, this
is not the direction we because we see it and
we're like, n this is not where we need to
be going because this is not what I saw. You know,
you like this thing, right, so I think I think
it's a beautiful thing. So I agree with you one hundred.
(42:21):
We're blessed, truly blessed.
Like get in my weight, never out of my lad.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
It's been like you was in the morning one. So
what is gonna be, baby squad, We've been the gold
shoes running on us.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Won't you need baby? Won't you keep me company?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Give me something the jube and I get only I
just soone for you when we get home, if you
let me put it.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Good Monday? Hey, Hey, Hey, what's up? What's up? What's up?
This is the last Monday of the month.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Oh, I haven't been keeping up with the days of
the week. I've been so busy.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Yes, it's been nine stop. It is the last Monday
of the month. We made it. We're here. Welcome everybody
to another episode of Humble Baddies. Yes, I've been good.
I've been good.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
I was gonna say, our girl Portia couldn't make you today.
She's handling her household goods and actually just living her
that it's life.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
I love it. You know that's true.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
But I've been so busy. Oh my goodness, it's been.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
I've been. It's truly a blessing. But I was able.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
I told you before we opened up an office in
Dallas and we did our grand opening. We have about
my team, the team lead Freddy and Andre are running
that down there, and we have about a whole neighborhood
on the golf course that we're listening, so that we
had some fun neighborhoods. Ye yeah, I'll shout out to
(01:40):
my team lead Freddie and Andre down there. But I
went down there, met all the agents.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
We had a big grand opening.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Our first day, we toured all the homes that were
just built, and the next day we played some golf,
did a little turn up in Dallas. I'm liking Dallas.
I'm thinking about, you know, relocating.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Oh what you mean, It's so beautiful like relocating, like
moving to Dallas. So wait a minute, time out. Are
you one of those ones that when you go somewhere
and you start to fall in love with the area,
the people, the vibes, and you're like, hmmm, I might
be able to I might want to move here. I
was like I heard that with you know when y'all
(02:23):
were in Aspa lately.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
You know, I can have multiple places, but seriously, my
business here in Tampa, you know, we have that's the
main I call it the main headquarters. It's running smoothly,
so I have people in place, I'm the type to
put people in leadership places to run the business while
(02:48):
you know, I go to the next and build an
empire there. The next city, build an empire there. So
my Charlotte office is good, My Tampa office is good,
my Miami office is good. Dallas is good. And I
could just move around and that's what you should do.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
I love that for you.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Actually, So yeah, I have I have a total of
eighty eight agents and.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
They're killing it.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
It's a power it's a powerhouse, yes it is. But
but I had fun. I enjoyed it. I went out,
we had a good time with the agents, and the
nightlife was good. The restaurants were amazing. Yeah, Dallas is beautiful.
It is.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
It's vibrant and has a lot of culture and its
own way being that it's Texas. So I hear it.
I like that rustic vibe that they have. And yeah,
boys boots and the hats and the.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Oh I you where's my hat?
Speaker 1 (03:46):
I was blessed.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
I was the meat, the cows everything. I gotta show
it next time. But I got a nice cowboy hat made.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Yeah that's I'm saying all the good stuff. That that good,
the good rustic vibes. I love that. And it's so
many opportunities, that's what I love about. It's a lot
of wealth in Dallas, also like family wealth and very
much like a hustle ambition and just to really just
keep the generational wealth going. That's what I have noticed
(04:17):
about Dallas.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Yeah, so one the listings that we did get in
the community, most of the land is owned by the
black family and the father he started building and now
he's passing it to his daughter. She's about thirty five
thirty six years old, and she has became a developer
(04:39):
and now she's taken over building properties in that lot.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
So I love that. It was beautiful, that's good stuff. Yes.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
And then this weekend, I'm sorry, I got this weekend.
I'm planning, you know, taking my daughter on her plane
of vacation. Got her a little PJ. We're gonna go
to Jamaica for the weekend. Beautiful before I sent her
off the college. A mommy and me trip. Yes, well,
speaking of mommy and me trips, I just got off
of one literally a few hours ago.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
I went to Cooperstown with Elijah, my youngest who is
my baseball player, my good friend, family friend, CC Sabathia
was inducted into the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame.
He is the first black left handed pitcher to be inducted. Okay, yes,
(05:34):
in the National League, in American League. So I'm so proud.
It's been been a blessing to have this family that
I've seen their children grow up. They have four children
like myself and my best My best friend is Amber Sabathia.
Shout out to Amber. And so we were just there
to support support her and support CC and the family.
(05:55):
And this journey, which is just a big deal, Like
that was my first time going to Cooperstown, which is
this quaint little town that is all the homes have
been preserved. They have rules where you have to keep
the standard of like very much old Upper New York
Hudson Valley homes, and so they keep the integrity and
(06:17):
this is their major This twice a year is a
big time for the MLB, but this is the biggest
because you're inducting the five players and so just the
experience overall for Elijah being a baseball player, to see
this that he can attain this, to see the journey,
to see that you know, this is New York, New
York Dandy, the fact that there's so many things that
(06:41):
have came from being in a career of being a
baseball player, living in New York, and since Elijah was
born in New York when we spent time there too,
Like it's just a beautiful thing to see a black
family being represented in Major League Baseball. And I'm wearing
my shirt, I got some merch.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Okay, okay, the march.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Yes, you know, like we we got to represent up
in here. Okay, yeah, I know that's all right, No,
but they're just good people and you know this is
this is rare. You know that we have one of
our friends that have made it. So shout out to
the family. So it was great. That's what I was
a great mommy and son trip because you know how
(07:21):
that gets. We got to be able to spend because
I travel differently with my children. I you know, you
love them differently. You have to spread your time, you
have to you have to you know, discipline them differently.
They're just all are different. So it was just good
to have that time away from the other three too,
(07:41):
just him.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
That's what Ariana got on to me the other day.
She was like, Mom, you don't you don't discipline Serenity.
You let her do whatever she want to do. We
was our age. We used to get toe up. You
used to are you at us this? I was like,
but she's a baby.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Oh see, there you go. She's the baby. She's the baby. See.
I would say, like to each of them, I'm like
a side of For example, my youngest daughter, I'm like,
you're my favorite youngest daughter. You know, we do certain
things together, and then they do certain things together.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
So yeah, I feel like every parent have a favorite child,
no matter what they say, every parent has a favorite child.
I know, Yeah, who's your favorite? So I have different
it's different categories. So just overall, my best friend is
is Ariana and my favorite is probably Denim.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Denim oh oh, but they know that though and Serenity,
Serenity gets away with it. Serenity runs the household. That's hilarious. Yeah,
but that sounds about right.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Yes, So what we're talking about today, girl with what's
going on?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
So for our first segment, we have pretty privilege or performance?
So about pretty privilege versus performing In a world where
followers and filters dominate, are people being rewarded more for
their appearance than their actual talent. From the casting couch
to TikTok fame, the lines between talent and esthetic appeal
(09:24):
are blurrier than ever. While some people naturally benefit from
being conventionally attractive, others are left wondering if their skills
even matter anymore. This is this a societal issue or
just the way the game works? So charrelle, let's get
this going. Have you ever been told you only get
(09:45):
something because of your looks? And how does that make
you feel?
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Of course, I've definitely been told, oh, you only got
the job because of how you look. And at first,
you know, I used to downplay it, like, damn what,
I'm not qualified? Like, you know, I believe it. I
was young and I believed like but I knew that
I had traits to get the job done. But actually
(10:12):
prime example, so, when I first came into the military
two years in, I was offered a job to work
for the Division Command sern Major.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
It was an HR job, but it was the E
five position. I was an E work.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
But I was promotable and it was out of a
few of us, and they were like, oh, you only
got the job because of your looks or whatever. So
I felt like I had to prove a point and
showed it wasn't just my looks, like I don't want,
you know, no one to carry, especially being a female
in a predominantly male division eighty second avern division. That's
(10:49):
the worst reputation that can go on saying oh, you
only got the job because of your looks, because then
people start taking you know, spreading rumors and making things
worse than what they were. So my thing was I
had to approve a point, like I'm fit for this job.
I'm great at PT I'm just good at what I do,
and I feel like some looks can open doors, but
(11:13):
it's what you do. It's not just the looks. Looks
make and get you into it, but you have to
show that you're capable for that job, your position.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
You're you're right where you basically can show what you
what you're capable of. You can you can show them
better than you could tell them. That's what I That's
the right thing that I always say. So I agree
with you on that for sure, you know. I just
I think being in the military too, you know, which
is very male dominated, you have to you know, in
(11:46):
your work harder. Oh yeah, exactly Twice it's harder.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Definitely work harder, and it's it's not for like you
got to have thick skin being in it, like they're
going to say the most craziest things, but you just
gotta brush it off. And people may say, yeah, looks, looks,
get you this, looks and get you that. But after
so long, looks can only go so far. Like I said,
(12:12):
you have to show what you can do right right
to determine it what's next. So but I've also got rejected.
I feel like because of my looks, I got overlooked
on on jobs.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Yeah, that's definitely how it could backfire for sure. It's
almost like you know, you're too pretty or you're to this,
and they just assume that maybe you are. You know,
you get you're getting everything, You're getting all the contracts
because of your looks, and so they're like, yah, since
she's doing this already, let me go all the other way.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Exactly what about you? Have you been in a situation.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Where I was trying to think, Not necessarily to me,
it would be more like stereotypical, just like put in
the box of like being like a baby mama of
an athlete, you know, just being put in these these
boxes of this is all she is, and so it's
(13:12):
like we're actually more than we do a lot more
than most people just assume, you know. So I wouldn't
say it's really privily privileged. It's more so like, yes,
it's it's like pretty privileged. Plus you know, monetary you know,
you can access, and just fame and fortune and all
these things, and combining that you become a public figure
(13:36):
and accessible and to the point where people want to start, like,
you know, making things hurt it for you. Essentially we're
like our own we're our biggest critics on ourselves. But
at the same time we have these strangers and fans
and people that are just like, you know, they got
it like this, so let them. You know. They just
see that you have access. They see that you have
(13:57):
the front pass, the fast passes, the no one ever
says no past, you know. So it's a combination of
all of that for me, and I feel like, really,
since I was young into this, it's been half of
my life, you know that, you know that I've been
pretty much being in these rooms of privilege, being in
(14:19):
these rooms of being able to have business deals, being
the first ones to look be looked at in investments
in first rounds because they you know, you look at it,
and it's like the wealth get wealthier, the rich get
richer because they're in these rooms, you know what I mean.
So you're always like on whether it's even at a
dinner or a casual like setting like at a listening
(14:42):
party or something like that, you're still in these rooms
with exclusive people. So like you are. That's a privilege
in itself, you know.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Well, listen, I don't got overlooked on different things as
I sit back and think about it, even like there's
looks to certain things, like even playing basketball. You know,
I used to play basketball, and when I tried when
I got stationed till Fort it's Fort Liberty now, but
Fort Bragg. I tried out for the bas basketball team
(15:11):
and they can't. They was looking at me like who
this girl is? Like this ain't no no, this like
a real team. They overlooked me. They picked their little
teams or whatever. They overlooked me. But when I showed
what I had, they was like, okay. They used to
call me lights Out. Lights South was my nickname, Like you.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Were a three point shooter.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
I was a two guard, two guard Okay, yeah, I
love that I had a mean double crossover.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
I know that's right.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
But but the thing but because of how I look,
I looked too girly. And most people think that, you know,
if he plays sports, you gotta be a tom boy,
you gotta be this, you gotta be that. And that's
not the case. So looks can another example.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Let's look skinned to see you because I agree with you.
Like when I was hooping to I was more of
the like feminine player because I was like, because I
also played volleyball. We're in those tights and then and
then I would run track and then in those little shorts,
so like and I have body you know, you've seen,
you know, muscle memory. I was, Yes, I would like
(16:21):
pull up to the track and or pull up to
the gym, and they're like, okay, well let's see what
she gonna do, you know, And then now I'm giving
them the business. I'm dominating, you know exactly. Yeah, so
you know he can get looked at it like that.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
But about to say I know the same, the same
thing I have. I have so many examples. So I
do government contracting as well, and I just recently got
into a predominantly white male industry, which is development, SDVO
SB service Disabled veteran owned building VA clinics. And sometimes
(16:59):
they have pre big meetings where you have to go,
you travel to whatever cety you're bidding on for a
certain project. So I come in there with my little
you know, business top on, with my little pants and
my little heels, and you got these these CEOs of
these big businesses coming in there, you know, and they
(17:20):
thought I'd worked for the VA when it was tithing
to do roll call or whatever. And I'm like, no,
I'm a lower management solutions. I'm here to bid on
this contract. So but they people overlook you thinking that
you can't be in that same field.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Just it's crazy. We're not as smart, not as capable, right,
none of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I love it though. Yeah,
you know, it's good to always like do a silent stunt,
you know what I mean, They doubted you, and then
you come around and like showing them like you know what,
(17:56):
now what exactly? It didn't even better. I mean even
being in the culinary space. Now it's a male dominant
industry and so you have to hold your own You
cannot be sensitive. You have to be very much focused
on who you are and to me right now, just
in the trends of everything, authenticity is what people are
(18:20):
wanting and searching and yearning for. This is what we
deserve because you know, you got to be yourself. We
can't be trying to chase cloud and you know, be
cookie cutter, and you know, just like this right now
is the time for us to really shine, to like
really be ourselves. You know that's true, That is so true. Yeah,
(18:46):
wherever we now, but yeah, you know, privileged privilege is
the thing, and you're right, it's really it really is
in every industry. I feel like, you know, yes, it is.
You just always have to prove yourself. It's crazy, you
have to prove it. But I feel like it's starting
to transition. I feel like people are starting to transition
(19:09):
away from just hiring people for looks like looked, hiring
for just pretty have gotten a lot of people in
a lot of trouble, especially when it comes to women
and men. So you just have to be careful, you
do you do? Should we be holding brands and platforms
accountable for pushing beauty over brilliant?
Speaker 2 (19:36):
I think beauty is the tool It'll get you in.
But it takes more than that. I think brands shouldn't
just rely on beauty unless it's just you don't need anything,
you're there for just pictures, or they need a certain
a certain aesthetic for their brand.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Yeah, yeah, because right now everybody that's how that's the
number one marketing tool is social media, and especially in
the beauty industry, that's how they get their their marketing
and their advertisement of like, look, the more beautiful you are,
the more opportunities you have. You have, the hotter guy,
the hotter girl, you have, the better job you have,
(20:14):
the better vacations, the dating lives or whatever, just all
these things. It's a lot of pressure. It definitely is
a lot of pressure.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
But I don't think. I think when it comes to
beauty brands, you don't really require the the what they're
looking for for.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
It's just looks.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
It doesn't require too much, especially when it comes to marketing.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Yes, okay, well let's move on, Yes, all right too.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Bombyhood meets boss her Life. It's right, can you really
do both without burning out? And is it a balance
even a real thing? And it's balanced even a real thing,
you know What's I get this all the time, and
it's so hard being the boss, the only person in
the household that's bringing in the income, trying to take
(21:10):
care of everything and still do mommy mode. Like I
get so like people who don't know what's going on.
They criticize me so much. But I also get women
who look up to me and support me because they're like, like,
I just look, I admire you so much because you know,
you established all this, you have this going and you're
(21:31):
still you know, doing what you have to do to
make sure your kids are good.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Well. To me, it's been a beautiful transition of my
children really seeing firsthand how I am navigating so much.
Now they can appreciate it. Obviously when they're young. You
see there's one now making noise, the youngest one.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
You know.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
It's just they get to see their mother in all
these different hats that I wear, whether it's the nurse,
it's their friend, it's their concert going friend, or you know,
we vacation, we are learning, we do philanthropy, all these things.
I feel like, you know, they get to see these
many hats. They also get to see the other side
(22:17):
of it, the boss, the one that's paying the bills,
that's grinding, that's keeping the lights on. Because now that
my children are older and they're starting to have their
own cars and things that they're like have to maintain,
they're learning that, you know what mom and dad like,
especially Mom, you know she was she's holding down and
also navigating emotional stress and all those different you know,
(22:40):
things that we have to deal with too. They're seeing
how I'm coping. They're seeing how I'm dating, and seeing
how I'm you know, communicating, And it's just so much
education in being all of the above that you can
really show them like this is the real world. Like
I'm tired, Like you see these bags we travel today.
You know, we were in we were in the car
(23:02):
at two thirty. We had to take two flights. You know,
we were in the car for an hour and forty minutes.
Like I handle that like the best, the best project
manager I can be. You know, I'm a scholar at
this now. So it's like to navigate that I'm the
I'm the you know, the itinerary planner, I'm the manager,
(23:22):
the nurse everything, you know, we the valet, we we everybody,
the chauffirst, all these things, and so it's like they're
seeing what real life is. So forget all the people
out there that are just like, you know, criticizing all that.
They only see the flash the picture that you show,
you know what I mean. They don't see that no
(23:42):
one's there signing that check when them taxes come through,
or when that bill comes through, or you know, you
ask somebody's asking for their phone to be fixed and
you know they need it, you know. So it's just
all these things. So you know, I wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Like people just see. And that's what I love. I
only show what I want to show. People only just see.
Oh they think I'm traveling, but really it's a business trip.
That's you know, that's our brand. I'm all over the place.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
But you're Google, That's what. That's what.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
But but the thing about it is, and it's very
like you stated on it, you have to you have
to have a schedule, you have to lay it out
there because it's not easy. It's hard. It's very hard,
and I wake up. I had to get organized to
be able to be as successful as I am, to
make sure that I'm not.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Missing a good key baseball game. You're right, being more organized,
because that's huge. You're right, you don't want to miss nothing.
You and we got a lot, but go ahead. I
just want to know it's true. I have serious I
said everything.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
I'm making sure I'm not missing a baseball game, making
sure I'm not missing you know, a call with the school.
Ariana's going off the college. I have to make sure
her stuff is done. So I'm allocating. I'm combining both
my work schedule with my personal life life. And I
never operated off of personal lifefe off of personal calendar
until I became an entrepreneur. So it's trying to balance both.
(25:09):
But with the technology here that we have today, it
makes it easier. Yes it's busy, Yes we have to
go from one place to another, but it pays off absolutely.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
And you know there's many categories that you're spreading yourself
then too, it's not easy. I know we might make
it look easy, but like you know, here we are
with y'all on a Monday night, tapping in you know
what I mean, Like kids have been fed, they're can
make me down, you know what I'm saying, Like we
knock that out. We are now working things like that.
(25:41):
So it's just a balance of that, and then let's
add in you know ourselves to our self care. You're
starting to add that, and then you're starting to add
family time and then a boo, you know, a spouse.
You got to cut that. You know, that pie is
getting smaller and smaller them slices, you know, because you're
really having to balance all of anything that you know
(26:03):
for your essence of who you are. And so like
you know with the children, that's this is being a
boss too. We have our friends, we got our romantic time,
romantic time, and our social time, and then we have
to do our rest in therapy and you know, all
these things. So it's work all these things. It's a lot.
It's a lot, but we're doing.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
My next question, my question to you is what's the
hardest part of trying to balance motherhood and entrepreneurship. What's
your hardest part.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
To me, it would be feeling guilty that like I'm
gone a lot or I am missing a game because
I would be able to be more available, but now
I'm wearing so many hats and elevated. I mean, I
was in school and now these so many opportunities are happening.
(26:52):
And it's the beautiful thing is my children are old enough,
like I put in that when they were younger, you know,
with the those in those formative years of like rearing them.
So now they know how to be self sufficient because
now you know, I'm talking about twenty year olds and
eighteen almost nineteen year olds next month, seventeen year old.
They're old enough now so where I can really because
(27:15):
I used to feel guilty about it, but now like
it's the minute I back up from my garage and
I'm leaving in my suitcase, I know, like this is
the beginning of so much for me. It's my time,
and so like I don't feel guilty about that now,
you know again before it used to be, but now
(27:35):
I'm just like, this is what I've been called to do.
I'm now you know, gonna be speaking on panels now.
I need to be seen at these events. I need
to be active, and I'm the type of person that
shows up for my people, and you know, I'm going
to show up for all the people that show up
for me. And it requires a lot of energy too.
(27:58):
But one thing about me, I'm gonna balance it. You know,
you know how I get you look up and you
won't hear from me three days because I didn't unplugged.
I didne got recalibrated because I can be super social
and then I'll get I need to shut that. I
got to shut it down or like redirect my energy
back to work, back to whatever I need to do.
So yeah, you have to balance it. So I used
(28:20):
to feel guilty, but not now because now everybody grown
and I did well. Alexa, she did great, So I
earned this time to now be able to move around
because I always I think about you real too, because
you got a little one. So it's like, girl, you
were almost like, you know, working them down and damn
(28:43):
because I was like chasing after going. But at least
you are equipped for this already because you've been there.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
You know, you know what's expected, so you do have
like a shortcut. I do the good thing about it.
She's at that age where she traveled with me as well,
or exactly my dad. They both to come with me,
so it works out perfect. But I would say my
hardest part of trying to balance motherhood and entrepreneurship was
guilty and the time not having everything organized when I
(29:14):
first got into it. That is key, and being able
to and learning how to be selfish. That was the
biggest and it's okay to be selfish because like I
always say, if you're not taking care of and you're not,
then your operation the household ain't it's going to fall apart.
So I think those were my biggest trying to learn
(29:38):
how to you know, and take in so but I mean,
it's amazing. You can't continue to dwell on it. You
just have to figure out a way, figure out a
system that works best for you and your household, and
you can get it done. But if you're dwelling on
a situation, like if we both dwell on us feeling
(29:58):
guilty this whole time, we let so much much time
has by where we don't get anything accomplished.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
So it's like.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
I damn if I do, damn if I don't, Like,
don't focus and dwell on this, you can make stuff happen,
and you just communicate and let let your kids know
this is what I'm doing. I'm quick to tell mine,
because ain't nobody gonna tell you your mama always gone.
You gonna know where I'm gone. You're gonna know where
I'm at. You're gonna know why. And because you like
this lifestyle that you know I'm giving to you this
(30:26):
is why I'm doing it.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
So yeah, because people crazy.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
That oh yeah mama. Here in knee streets people out
and heard people say this to other kids' moms, And
I know they work, they behind off like it's been
single you know, single moms out here busting. They tell
if sometimes it'll be your family members. Yeah, yeah, because
they don't understand. But but that was the biggest thing.
(30:55):
And I feel like, you know, I did a great
job communicating and being able to just keep them up
to date on everything that's going on.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Yes, let's see what kind of support system makes the
biggest difference and what happens when you don't have one.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
Ooh ooh, I think. So that's another blessing, you know
the fact that my mom is right around the corner. Again,
that my children are older. But beforehand, I did have
help and in addition to good family members. That's a
real thing. When you say it takes a village, like
when I say, that's a real thing. So like the
(31:36):
beautiful privilege and blessing to be able to have hired
help that is like, you know, this is what their
passion is. They you're paying and to like monitor your
children and take care of them. Like that's a beautiful thing,
and it really it's a testament to finding good help.
You know, if you're able to in a good or
a good daycare, a good a good sitter, a good
(31:59):
you know, babysitter, all these things, just because you have
to have that balance. And you know, honestly, I couldn't
imagine raising four children like this. You know, the things
that they've seen, the places they've been, the wave they've
been navigated, and you know, shown so much without help,
without even me being able to go, Like that's another
(32:22):
reason why I'm able to go, Like my mom is here,
you know, she's at my house, and I have people
at my house, and you know, the kids can nothing,
nothing changes. There's still gonna be food, They're still gonna
be going to this practice, They're still gonna go to
this game, they still have this playdate. Everything keeps running
even if I'm not here. And that does take you know, commitment,
(32:44):
But I cannot imagine not having help, and most people
don't have help. So it's a beautiful thing that you know,
in privilege that I was able to have that even
even with a night nurse or you know, nighttime nannies
and people who care for these kids. Like I didn't
have that, but my mom was able to pick up
and just be right there and want a beautiful thing
(33:06):
that I'm able to have her and I know she's watching,
So shout out to my mom and mama. But like
it's trickled down to her grandkids now where she I
don't even have to think about my kids, you know,
because once she's gonna discipline them, she's gonna feed them,
and she gonna love them, and she's gonna spoil them,
so they really I could really go be on a
panel and be happy and be vibrant and be myself.
(33:28):
I can really go be in a kitchen and have
a project and execute that. I can go and you know,
go be on a beautiful date somewhere away and not
worry about my kids and no one interrupted me. Like
so it's just all these different things I'm able to
do because I do have that support system. And whether
it's family, a friend, a coworker, somebody you trust. What
(33:50):
a blessing that they can pick your kids up from school,
they can you know, you can carpool, they can go
get some groceries for you. If you're sick. They can
take over for you, like that is my number one
thing is to get that help, and I just can't
imagine not having it. You want that help because even
if it's crying on someone's shoulder, like just taking a break,
because it can get overwhelming. So I just can't imagine
(34:14):
not having a support system.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Yeah, it definitely can. I'm truly grateful for both of
my parents, you know, my daddy and my mom. They
are like a blessing to have. They're both retired and
I can call them. They'll be here within the next hours,
jumping on a flight if I need them. So truly grateful.
It's just hard. I have people, you know, single moms
(34:39):
reaching out to me saying and it's hard now it's
not like it used to be, back in the days
where you can have your neighbor, Like I remember going
up our family. They used to take turns carpooling. It's
so it's not like that anymore. So it's so hard
to even try to give advice. Exactly, I don't even
(34:59):
know my neighbors, never met him a.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
Day like that. You're right, you could be like, I'll
be back in a couple of hours. She's over there
by herself for a minute or something like they it's
not like it's hard to trust people. It is so hard,
It truly is.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
It's hard to give advice, Like when mothers tell me, like,
how do you do it? What's some advice you can
give me? Is I can't give no advice if you
don't have a support system.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
It's hard. It is hard, especially because of that experience. Yeah,
of having it.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
Yeah, but I'm truly grateful to be able to have,
you know, that support system. And even with my daughter,
she's nineteen and she's she's just great, like anything with Serenity,
she's here. She if or if you know, they don't
need to go to baseball practice. She's driving.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
He practiced all the way out.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
It's an hour and a half drive. And sometime, you know,
she see that I'm working hard. She's like, Mom, don't worry.
I'll take them to practice, take them to practice, take
them to something, some of his games. It's just it's
a blessing the people that I have around me.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
That helps out. It's so cute because I always see
your father with Serenity. You know, Yes, that's his best friend. Yes,
freak and Fred that's the right, like when I'm just
like and you know she knows how to work them too. Oh, yeah,
she knows how to work him. She works than me.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
I be like, you know how the parents be like
call it the your children the here to go, get
the remote and if you arm reach, she do the
same thing.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
So I said, girl, where you learned this from?
Speaker 2 (36:39):
I feel sorry for whoever you have to do, whoever
have to deal with you when you get older. Papa,
yeah him, my charger, Oh the charge of arm reach
could be like no, you get it. She busts out crying.
I said, girl, you are too school. It's crazy that girl,
(37:02):
she is a mess. She has her daddy personality. I
don't I feel sorry for whoever.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
Isn't that funny? Like it's funny how our children really
do take on some of our personalities, and both parents too,
you know they get a little bit of that because
even I see it in my kids too. I'm like, yep,
that's your dad, Yep, there there is right, Yeah, those
mannerisms or those like it's so crazy. I know where
(37:30):
you got that from your daddy.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
Your physical appearance and how they walk, everything is crazy.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
I love it though, I mean we wouldn't change it
for anything.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
Like, let's be real, what's something you had to unlearn
about being a perfect mom to become a present one?
Speaker 1 (37:52):
Oh? To me, it was really like giving myself grace.
I had to really realize that Alexi's you are doing
a phenomenal job. We want to do everything for our children,
we want to give them everything. And because of everything
we did just speak of, you know, a little bit ago,
we're wearing so many hats and so I've really now
(38:14):
learned to prioritize Alexis. I'm going to go to the spot,
I'm going to take the trip, I'm going to go
on the date. I'm going to go to the beach.
I'm going to go have that meal. I'm going to
go take care of myself because I know one thing.
If I'm not right mentally, emotionally, physically, and I'm unhealthy,
(38:34):
then all this shit going down. It's just I invented
that binder, that life binder for the tribe of lex
and it's a tight shit, you know what I mean.
So I just make sure I take care of myself
because I'm the most important factor for this family. I
know that and I feel that, and if anything were
(38:55):
to happen to me that I couldn't. That was almost
self inflicted. That is just harmful for my children. You know,
if there's things I can prevent by balancing my life
and taking care of myself and praying and meditating and
like having that girl time and talking to someone and
you know again making sure I feel loved and appreciate it,
(39:15):
I'm gonna go insane. I know what I need. I
need a book. Sometimes I need a night out with
my girls. Sometimes I need that good glass of wine.
I need that bath, I need actually to sleep in.
That's another thing I've been trying to prioritize, like you know,
not responding back to texts quickly and those deans, those alerts,
(39:36):
because I'm like I'm living off of like alerts of
other people in my house. Like how disrespectful was that
to my you know, my funds. So I'm like turning
it off and then I when I'm able to return
the call, the text, the message that I can, then
I will, you know, obviously to be in a timely
manner of like, you know, nothing's getting lapsed, but it's
(40:00):
not important right now to me. I'm the most important
factor right now.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
I think my biggest thing I had to unlearn that
a perfect mom doesn't exist. So once I understood that, like,
there's no such thing as a perfect mom. And as
long as you're making sure that you're taking care of
your kids, you know, they have a roof over their head,
they have food and you know food in the house,
(40:26):
they have lights, they have shelter, and you're able to
give them the necessities that they need. You're doing a
good job.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
That's all facts.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
So the biggest thing is, you know, we used to
question am I good enough?
Speaker 1 (40:44):
Like I don't want to make this mistake.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
But I look back when I was a child, and
you know, I've used to wonder why I didn't have
this or why didn't have that? But now as I'm older,
my mom in my head she was an amazing mother
because she worked her ass off to get me. I'm
the reason who I'm the person I am today because
of my mom. She you know, she prayed with us,
she took us to church. She left a great God
(41:11):
for me to be a great mother.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
Yes, and I second that. I second that with you.
I praise my parents too, because I got to see
both of them in the household, like doing their part
for my sister, and I tell them all the time,
like y'all did a great job, Like wow, you know,
I just attained to be parents like you guys, because
you did a hell of a job with me and
(41:35):
you did a hell of a job with my sisters.
So it's like we are phenomenal women. We're phenomenal wives
where mothers. We're good people. And you're to what you
were saying, sharel like that's the that's the best beautiful
blessing you can pass down because now here we are
the same bloodline, and that's another currency of generational wealth
(41:59):
is now being able to take care of these kids
because we were seen and showing it properly. You know,
we know the opposite of it. So we're like, this
is not the direction we because we see it and
we're like, n this is not where we need to
be going because this is not what I saw. You know,
you like this thing, right, so I think I think
it's a beautiful thing. So I agree with you one hundred.
(42:21):
We're blessed, truly blessed.
Host
Shannon Sharpe
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Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.