April 3, 2025 • 48 mins
Sharelle, Ashley, and Alexis continue their heated debate on High Value Men, discuss whether women should date multiple men at a time, Benny Blanco's advice to men for maintaining a healthy relationship, and much more!
22:00 - Should women date multiple men at once
32:35 - Benny Blanco's Relationship Advice
46:52 - Humble Baddies Mailbag
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Get in my weight, never out of money. It's been
like you one and the more one is gonna be squaw.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Why do some women shame each other for wanting a
man with money? Is it gold digging or it's just
set in the standard. I think let's answer that one,
which I already because a lot of people may call
us those diggers because of our answers of what we
while we explain what we tell you something, I think
y'all sound like gold diggers. I think y'all have been
(00:29):
hurt and like y'all have been through so much. Yes,
I think y'all have been through traumatic like situations and
relationships with men. So now the love part of things
isn't don't hold as much weight, you know what I mean?
So I disagree, Hey, whatever, you've been there, this disagree cool.
(00:50):
I'm just I know, I'm giving my prison. It's a conversation.
I'm just giving my my my outlook on just what
I'm hearing. I just feel like, because you guys, because
y'all are saying, well, we've been divorced, you have it,
blah blah blah blah. So obviously that has changed your
perspective on how you would go about dating and whatnot.
(01:13):
So outside looking in to me, it seems like weight
the love, that the weight that love holds is not
as heavy, you know in a relationship that shift you're
looking for now, it's other things that are more.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
You know, important.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
So and I'm not saying like y'all are y'all something
is wrong with you or whatever. I'm just saying, like
the way I look at love, the way you look
at love is different.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
To me right now, love is very much I want
intention I want also the space of experience too.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Same love is palpable. I know, I think we have
we want the same things.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
But I'm just saying, like, I think there's other things
that y'all are saying are more important. Yes, my bars
very because of your past experiences, and it's not coming
from hurt. It's coming from experience and what was correct. Yes,
that's all I about to say. It's not the hurt, okay,
(02:19):
not so mine comes from a bar setting even high.
I'm not gonna lower my standards of cookie to hurt
because I'm thinking of I'm talking about emotionally like I
was trying to think of emotionally like where you were
because we're talking about love, and love is an emotion.
I'm not talking about things like experiences are kind of
(02:40):
like things. So I was talking about more like emotionally,
what what fulfill you?
Speaker 1 (02:47):
And you know love.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
I feel like y'all got this much room for love
and then this I have all the experiences, I have
all the love, and I have the love of the
level one can take. The level will continue to grow,
especially if whatever mind baring and until this relationship is
(03:13):
there a level with row. There's no like literal and
let me adds to this trail. The love that I
have comes from experience. It comes from hurt, but it
also comes from healing. So this love over here is
nurturing because I have children. It's nurturing because I love
life and you know, my sense of adventure it is
(03:33):
so abundant and and like elevated as well as like
electric that's becomes more attractive. I gotta get them off
of me, you know what I'm saying. It's just like
you know, I'm setting that standard in that resume. You know,
when you have a resume of a job, there's the
A pile, the B pond, the C pole.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
I'm definitely at the top of that a pile.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
I mean, it's a lot going on over here, but
at the same time, I'm bringing stuff to the table
and I expect that.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
From my partner. It is what it is. Yeah, that's
that I understand, and I I mean, I love it.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Portion of that that's wrong, Like, I hope y'all didn't
take that from what I was trying to say. I
Like I said earlier, I just want charl stop looking
like that because that the look.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
What's the look? What's the look? As let me say
that's how she's like. What's my point is?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
I don't want women to miss out on a good
man because he may not have on the outside what
you think a man should have, like blah.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Blah blah blah, like standards. It could be anything.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
It could be like you know how women are like
I don't want a man who's not six foot.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Four, or I don't want to man your blah blah
blah blah.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
I met guys who have everything and then they treat
their kids like shit. That's all the back red flag
for me. So or things like that, you know what
I mean. I see how they're talking to staff, I
see how they're talking to people. I see how they're
talking to someone that's cleaning up after them. Red flag
for me, you know what I mean? So I get
exactly what you're saying. Yeah, this was my point, That's
(05:11):
all I was saying. I'm saying, consider, considerate, Just consider
it like it may not be what you thought you
wanted or the ideal situation.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Huh, consider what consider I don't know if you happen
to meet a man, if you have to meet a
man who is financially stable, by the way, and does
have all the things, but she sleeps.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
God, this is how about how you your respond?
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Okay, well I'll stop talking then. Yeah. Matter of fact,
I'm gonna go hou.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
You're gonna go over here where little happily married situation
over here? Okay, because my point of view, that's all
I see it, and y'all don't want to hear it.
We are listening, and we are hearing. I'm hearing people, right.
I need another person on here with me because y'all
hapen to be ganging up on me?
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Are we ganging up? Yeah? It's thud against one right now.
I'm not sharing that. Yeah, somebody, you know, I'm sure
to chat lit right now.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
But no, I'm just saying I want us ladies to
have the bar standard high.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
I just I believe in old school courting. I believe
in I also believe in picnics and.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
What you can.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
I don't want you to go and y'all be above
and beyond and being debt like I don't want that.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
But nobody said that. Y'all keep saying that, Like.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Y'all, I'm just thinking about that date. Nobody who can't
pay the bills, who couldn't take me on a date,
like y'all know that.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
So I don't know why.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
I'm just saying that. It wasn't your response in the beginning.
Hold on, hold that thought. Let me go take Serenity
to band. Hey, you keep saying, like my standard, your
standards are here. I think everybody has high standards. What
I'm saying is, don't miss out on a good man
because he's not presenting in a way that you think
is up here or whatever.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Like he may be up here in other ways, but
you haven't gotten.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
To meet him and that part of him yet, because
I don't know, y'all need time to get there or whatever.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
I think it's about not.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Present where we're traveling where we are, what rooms we're in,
how we're moving.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
We're also meeting those kind of guys too. I'm gonna
be real with you.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
I mean, I'll wait till Hirell gets back on that
like back back and locked in. But it's about that too.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
I was saying, I would you say, I was saying, like,
we are in these rooms where the way we travel,
We're in these these rooms, We're in these boardrooms, we're
in these events, we're in the back rooms of a concert.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
We're around these type of men. You know what I mean?
That approach you well to right the way the game?
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Would you say, well, we don't have to play the
waiting game. Were they just doing them financially and we're
doing We're being approached by man never established right. They're
understands what the woman wants and needs and what makes
her happen. So they're they're trying to be in an
addition to I don't know, y'all lost me now. But
(08:28):
it's because you're contradicting yourself. How because you said one
minute you started off saying, I just don't it's okay.
She paid her bills, he pay his bills, She paid
his bills. I said, Now she she paid her bills
and he paid his bills, and it's just nothing financially there,
(08:50):
it's just whatever, y'all just falling in love. Like y'all
do realize a lot of people in America they be
paying their own bills and be married like that's it's
not just that, it's like we want more to it.
They're talking to people who are you know, so when
I'm speaking, I'm speaking to an audience of people. Then
I started speaking on me specifically, or really y'all because
(09:14):
y'all are dating. I'm just saying, like what if you
what if you met somebody he's financially stable and then
he pays his bills. You know, he's he can take
you on dates, he can do things, but it might
not be the standard of up here, like like what
you were saying, you know that you want him to
go above and beyond, like he's doing things above and beyond,
(09:35):
but maybe it's not the expense of the above and
beyond that.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
So that's yeah, it's not about that.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Well that's what it sounded like. Of course, love language
is time spent. It's it's a lie. I said, he's
doing all those things, but y'all are saying like, no, like.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
He needs to be able to because my question, my question.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
In the beginning was a broke boyfriend, and I've said
nobody wants a broke boyfriend, and so then we moved
it on to saying, Okay, he's financially stable, but he
may not present as somebody who can do like the
expensive things for you, but.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
He but it's not about the expensive things.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
It's about like it's small things like, Okay, you surprised
me what they put on.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Man, you surprised me with roses. You're going out your
way to do those A man doing that, Yes, that's
what I'm saying. He does that, he thinks.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
But I think y'all were saying we're no, we're okay
with them. What I was understanding from what you were
saying in the beginning, you was like, he do his
thing financially. She knew her thing financially, and y'all just
have good conversation. That's what I would get.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Maybe Serenity was moving around too much, but he wasn't
going above and beyond with other things.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
I don't care about your expenses, Like.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
It really came out to me that y'all were talking
about and you alexis saying about how well traveled you are,
and he needs to be able to do this and
do that, like all these things. So I'm saying he
not present that he does all those things, but he
is showing effort like he's he's going above and beyond.
But it might not be those with your ex husband.
(11:12):
It might be you know, something else, but it's still
going above and beyond. What is above and beyond, like
like how you were just saying, like writing poems, showing
like interest and effort and you know, being sweet, surprising you.
That's above that beyond. But to alexis that might not be.
(11:33):
So that's what I'm saying. I don't know, are y'all
talking about like extensive stuff?
Speaker 1 (11:37):
Are y'all talking again?
Speaker 2 (11:38):
What I'm saying the men that approached me as well
as the confidence to continue just understanding what kind of
woman I am, they're very much attracted to.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
This is what it is.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
I travel, I am a philanthropist, I do these things.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
I'm well charged. So it's just that paying over and over.
But it's fine. I get it.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
We see things a little differently, Like I still think
the whole love weight thing is there, and I think
that it is because y'all have different experiences than I have.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
It is good hear you what.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
I said, because you only got one damn experience, so
you can't.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
We can't.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
You don't understand what we're saying and what we've been
through because you have an experience. I actually do experience,
I actually do understand. I do understand. I'm just saying again,
I just don't want women to miss out on a
good man because he might not have, you know, whatever
(12:50):
standard is. And I've said, your standard could be that
he's six foot four and he does this, and he's that,
like whatever your standard is, like, sometimes you might need
to look somewhere different or at something different because you've
been missing out on something.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
That's all I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Yeah, But I just don't want to give bad advice
to men or women by this set bad advice.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
I'm not saying, So don't nobody. I didn't say.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
I didn't say you were, but I'm just saying. My
question in the beginning was would you date a and
we said no, we wouldn't dated broke boy, right, right,
So that's what we're focusing on, but you're not settling
old just because he have a good conversation.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Maybe we can work things out and grow with it.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
That's where our answers are coming from, our response are
coming from. So to clear it up, even in the chat,
we're not looking for it's just what our send is.
We know what our standard is, and we know at
this point of age, we know what we want in
our relationship. We expect in a relationship, just like a
(13:52):
man know what he wants from a woman who's in
her late thirties early forties in a relationship.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
So it's not being a gold bigger.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
It's not saying, oh, you know you're ruthless, let me
know when you find this that and the third it's
like I've been through this and I don't want to
go through it again. The love will come, the love
will grow, but these are what I expect when I
get into this. Everybody, everybody has, everybody wants those things.
So we are in agreeance on that totally. I don't
(14:21):
think that makes you see y'all go diggers or anything
like that. But like you said, our experiences are different,
so the way I think we talk about it and
express it is different. But I think at the end
of the day, we all want the same thing, but
the way that express it, it's going to come out
differently stability because of our experiences.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
All of that. That's good, but we can agree because
I like pemstand surprise. I love that. I love a picnic,
I love a walk.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Somebody says, stop speaking for a low income people. I
don't think I'm speaking for a low the people. I
think I'm just speaking for I'm trying to speak for.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Ladies who.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Are hopeless romantics that want to find love. That's who
I'm speaking. I'm a hopeless romantics too.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
I didn't tell you. I'm just something me.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Yeah, No, I'm with you, all right. I'm all for
all of that. I believe in alignment, I believe in
chance meetings.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
All this kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
But you know, I want to turn up and have
a good dinner. And we're not thinking about that either.
I'm just speaking real because you know, at the end
of the day, when them, when that love starts to
get a little call up out, when the money run
and them butterfly s fate what money right now?
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Then? What?
Speaker 2 (15:49):
No? Because y'all gonna talk about it, y'all gonna get
it going. Y'all already have y'all businesses and that thing.
But you can talk about love too, just like you
can talk about business. Work to talk about that's like
finance work. You gotta put it just as much effort
in both boats.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
I agree with that. Yeah, I feel like you would.
I would. I'm telling you it's it's both.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
It's both like you gotta work on the love keeping
the love part just as much you got to work
on the finance part.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
It's like them can bring the communication. That's communications. Communication
once needs all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
But every like going back to what everybody expect different things,
and they should we answer for somebody else who don't
care about everyone different.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
I have my standards, have my this is what I
need from you. It is what it is. That's my list.
It's for me.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
I think everybody should definitely have standards and have a
list like you have to like what are your non
negotiable what are you not not fucking with ables? Just
like but I'm gonna say it like I'm gonna say
this right here though, to back to Ashley, I don't
think it should be equal.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
What should be equal? He said? The love and the
the work should be equal.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
No, I feel like the work should be a little
bit more because love ain't paying them deals.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
It's not an equal thing. It's just like a balanced thing.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
It's like a Sometimes the love part might need more work,
more time, more effort, and then some or it might
be the business part. Y'all need to work on your
finances more like especially if you're in a long term relationship.
Shit gonna be like this. You know.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
You relationship. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
So I don't know about it being equal, but I
just think they both got to be tended to everything.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
I'm I'm on my fuck love tour. I see that
I'm stressed and love.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
And even don't want to be in love or you
want not right now or until that person comes. I'm
gonna take I'm gonna when did I need it. I'm
gonna take you on a date. Charille, you need some love.
I'm gonna can I think you loud. I need to
rub off on you a little bit. Girl said she
(18:32):
has love. Tell me, y'all, I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking.
I'm joking.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
It just sounded good. Hold you.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
I definitely turned up right post divorce post breakup. But
then I went on to hold the battle on.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Lance.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
We need to have a conversation, and I've been doing day, y'all.
I'm been doing here for you. We move on to
the next topic because y'all strusting me out. Okay, y'all
strusting me out?
Speaker 1 (19:09):
What'sn't that? I done lost my spot? We'll be It's
all right, Lloyd. I am stressed. I mean, I don't
know whatever. What's the next topic? Where are we at? Look?
Look now that sense you know I talked about my tour.
(19:30):
The question is should women date multiple men? One? Yes, yes,
I'm scared to answer. I'm gonna say, let me speak
on this, yes, speak speak six.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Oh you're gonna put that that you're adding that one
on there? Okay, all right, yes they should. The reason
why I'm saying this until he says, and y'all say,
we are together, we are committed. I don't want to
see or anybody else, and you shouldn't see anybody else
(20:10):
until then.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
You are single.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
You are not committed, and you're very much single, and
according to the government, until you have a paper certificate
that says you're married. So until there's a committed a verbal, committed,
you know, conversation of we are together. This is what
our relationship looks like, meaning we do not seek other people,
(20:34):
we do not date other people, or whatever it looks like.
Until you have that conversation, you are free to be
liberated and to understand who you are.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Meaning I agreed date them all. So if I'm if
I'm engaged in a relationship, have I engaged?
Speaker 2 (20:53):
I said, if you have a committed relationship, then you're
the If you're not, until you have that conversation, be
free like the bird, Be free like Lady Liberty in
New York.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Be free. Okay, you gotta date. I do so. I
do believe.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
I feel like it's okay for women to date multiple
men as once you don't have to sleep with every
one of them.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
You can have one that's you know, that lays it down,
but you can it's okay too.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
But then again, it's hard because you get emotionally attached
to that one who lays it down, and you get
blind sided and foggy, and you miss out on the
dead things that the other men can provide in experience
because you're sexually attached to that one that leads the
pipe down to mister plumber.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Whole point is a date. Date means to sick.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
So I so my my thing is, if you're gonna
date multiple, multiple men, I wouldn't have sex with any
of them until you pick one day.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
I'm not condoning multiple partners. I'm just no.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
I know, I'm definitely condoning like dating different men just
experiences types, and I want the ladies to choose, you know.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
I just feel like I'm an advocate for us.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
To to to let them court us, to let them
see what they're gonna show us, and for them to
be to come.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
To the flower. I'm very a proponent of that.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
I teach my boys this, to court women and to
show them who you are, and I expect my daughters
to be like, you know what, let me see what's
going on.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
I encourage dating.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Them all, date them, all, have fun and be very
much like Cherrelle said, you don't not sexual with everybody
because I believe in sexual energy.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
I believe in soul ties. I believe in all that exchange.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
But at the same time, I do believe in going
out to eat, going to have a coffee, having guy friends,
just understanding how think and and who you liked.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Who do you like? That's what it really boils down to.
Who do I like? Who do I really can be
a friend with? Who can I laugh with? Who can
I spend time with?
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Who can I cry with? Who's gonna come and help
me feel better if I'm sick. That's what I want
you to understand, you know, I want you to understand
what that is. So yes, state them all.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Have hm hmm, Well, I have been with the same
person for a long time.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
But if I may please answer this question anyway, please,
I've only had one experience gied woman according to Ms Charrell,
not the boys.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
I think that woman.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Should also date multiple men. I don't think they should
have sex with all of them like I said, But yeah,
I mean I feel like you should definitely get out
there see what you like, like you said, Alexis.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
And I don't know.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
I think for me though, it would be hard if
I knew I was trying to find like the one.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
I don't think I could continue to date multiple people.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Like I think I would. You know, It's I don't
normally like like a lot of people at once. You know,
I'm not that type of person. It's like it's tough
once you find out one person, it's like I'm obsessed
about that one person. So it would be hard for
me to like give somebody else some attention because I'm
gonna be so worried and focused about what he doing,
(24:39):
where he at with like you know what I mean,
Otherwise I don't really like you like that. Like if
I don't, if I'm not immediately like obsessed with you,
then I probably don't even really like you like that,
you know what I'm saying. But if I if I
meet somebody and then i meet somebody else and I'm
interested in him, like I really, I mean, that means
I'm just bored, you know, and I'm just filling up time.
(25:00):
I'm just occupying myself. I'm not really interested. It's just
you've caught my attention for a second, you know what
I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
I feel like.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
I'm kind of an obsessive person and also like I
kind of be knowing. I mean, that's how it was
when I met Phield, Like I met him one time,
well the second time I actually met him, we was
obsessed with each other.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
And but I don't speak on my little, one little thing.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
So I'm gonna be quiet that Charrelle over here giving
me faces and stuff, and I'm already stressed out.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
So you've seen, you've seen your friends, ash you saw
I got that's all I the board. You've seen.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
You've seen our friends. You've seen her, You've seen your
friends go through some all the yes.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
As you know what we've been through over.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
You know what we've been through some ship. You want
to say, you want us to get out there. You
want us to, you know, see if the grass is greener.
You want us, you encourage us to and understand what
it is we do. You've been very supportive in that.
You know I'm the matchmaker. I'll be trying to cut
all up and do the most, you know, saying I'm
here for it, like I ain't.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Single, ain't gonna be single. I'm living through y'all, so
like I'm here for all of it, Okay, Ashley, ready
to set me up? I am. I can't wait. Like
hello everybody. Every day somebody like are they back together?
What they got on?
Speaker 2 (26:27):
I'm like, I'm like, oh those two by the way, Chell, Oh,
you know I'm here, y'all gonna be asking me these questions.
I can only speak on my little one, little situation
what we adore, by the way, and we had min
(26:49):
that's no, that's no shame.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
We love it.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
And then you know still it is our brother, that's
right from the seven o six exactly from the deep
down South. We're from the same holdun. You know how
to treat his women. That's why they married to this
day as how to give it to because Ashley, enjoy your.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Girl, y'all y'all are, but.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
You wanting to have my little input to you know,
I'll be having a hypothetically like.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Giving.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
She also knows us to Charrell. She know we love
her girls. She know we want to be with one person.
Like it's just you know, it just don't aligne. Sometimes
I'm here for y'all need to y'all need to be
y'all need to be dating more like as sorry as I'm.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
Taking so I need I need to start dating. What
are you waiting on? Yeah, let's go. Thats fun, have fun.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Just you want a friend, be a friend. That's because
I'm just fine. I'm the matchmaker. I'm gonna set it up.
So when I call you and I say, hey, I
got a date for you, I don't want to hear nothing.
Then I just like nothing nothing, y'all should y'all should
do a speed data. Yeah, we're gonna do. We're gonna
see then set it up. Oh it's just you on
(28:11):
a nice Charrell and then a has like twenty guys.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
If any men want to take my girls out on
a date, if y'all want to just speed and hit
me in the DM, I'm sure in the DM.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
So we're gonna set it up because I really we
need to get this going because y'all playing with me.
But are you trying to lock us down? Or are
you trying to do it's just dating. We just spinda,
get y'all, y'all, get y'all feet wet. You know what
I'm saying, y'all need to get out here at least
Charrelle scharl need to get her feet wet. Let's you know,
we just want to You can lead the way, all right,
And I'm the mashmaker.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
You know it's time.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
Looking like you in a relationship. What you got going
on over there? Look like I'm in a relationship, look
like it's just like I can't I can't be involved.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
You involved?
Speaker 2 (28:58):
But I'm very much a committed too, So if I'm
locked in I'm locked in. All right, are you long?
Speaker 1 (29:05):
I'm very much okay, say less. This is about to
get interesting. What you mean about to it's just that
any Yeah, I'm not fooling with y'all. I'm like, oh boy,
(29:32):
this is okay. What's next? I don't know. Astley said,
I'm gonna get y'all together. Let's move on. It's a
humble about thees mail time is what? No, it's not,
it's not. We got to talk about Bennie Blanco making happy.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
You know.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
I love Benny. I'm a fan. Go ahead, that's okay,
you know about it. I haven't seen the blue You haven't.
Oh you haven't seen the blueprint. Let me tell you something.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
I you know, it's a beautiful thing when men have
awareness of their partner. You know. I think it's it's
just needs to be commended. It needs to be elevated,
it needs to be highlighted. And so I'm a fan
of Benny after he went on a podcast talking with
his soon to be wife, and I just.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Love how he's like, you know, I know what she needs.
I know what it takes for her to be her
best self.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
So if it's me spending because he's a music producer,
So if he's in the studio a long time, he's like, hey, babe,
you know, I know you expected me at such and
such time. I mean, I'm just making this up this scenario, guys.
But if I expect you here at this time, hey,
I'm a little late. I know that's what she needs
for her mental health, for her awareness. And I think
(31:03):
it's dope, you know. And he's very much being adamant
and very outspoken on this this topic about really supporting
his spouse and doing whatever he needs to be his best,
the best, whatever he needs to be for his best
self for her, for her to be her best self.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
I think that's the ultimate, the ultimate goal for everybody.
So I like Benny.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
So shout out to Benny for that. What do y'all
think about about the situation in general?
Speaker 1 (31:30):
And I need what the blueprint is?
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Yeah, I don't know what it is. So he wrote
the blueprint? He wrote, wasn't talking about it. He's just like,
let me, let me I'll read a little bit. And
Resa Viral Podcast needs to producer Bennie Blackell drop some
serious relationship wisdom and honesty. Men need to take notes
in this episode title how Benny Taught Me to trust again.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Benny revealed that beat before getting together with Selena.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
He made a list, yes, an actual list, but it's therapy,
which was also a big deal because he's talking to
a therapist about a potential partner, the qualities he wanted
in a future partner. And this wasn't just about manifesting,
It's about emotional growth. So in today's dating culture, where
(32:18):
ghosting is the norm, he it's like, don't you feel it?
Like it's refreshing that a man is willing to like
communicate and willing to just give you a peace of mind,
the sense of like, you know what, this is who
I am. I want you to be your best self.
So I feel like he is advocating for not just
the couples being very much you know, anchored in awareness,
(32:41):
but it's just very much the men stepping up and saying,
you know what, I want to help this lady be
my partner.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
I want her to be the best self. So that's
what it was to me that I gravitated to the most. Well,
I think that's.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Great that we have some a man finally speaking positively
on you know, how to treat a woman in a relationship,
how to support a woman, you know, because I feel like.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
We don't have a lot of that. We don't have
a lot.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
I mean, it's a lot of negativity, a lot of
the whole fifty to fifty conversation, it's a lot of that.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
So it's it feels good to like have this conversation.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
And I'm sure like men look up to him because
he is in like the music world, so he has
an audience, you know, where it will be received hopefully,
So hopefully it's a domino effect, like you know, he
put it out there. Now more men, you know, jump
on that band wearing something that we want them to
(33:40):
jump on.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
So shout out to our humble daddy.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Yeah, yeah, Do you do you all feel like therapy
should be like a almost a non negotiable when you're
dating someone or do you feel like it's later on,
like when you guys are like in locked in and
like's like together, you're ready to be here like separate,
like each pretty very going to therapy. Just I feel
like I feel like therapy can be communication between the
(34:06):
both of you guys. That's therapy to me, Like you know,
you're understanding what each other want. You're laying your boundaries
out there, you're laying what you expect, what you're don't
don't expect, and.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
You're you're you're learning each other. That's therapy.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
I just feel like we overlook a lot of those things,
not understanding and talking about the boundaries.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
We just go straight into it.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
We have the butterflies and we're you know, we're having
all the fun things, but we don't sit down and
have that serious conversation of what pisces you off, what
you like, what you don't like, you know, what are
your coping mechanisms, recognizing if those are good, if those
are good coping mechanisms or not. Like just having those
type of serious conversations that's therapy. But going into a
(34:54):
actually going to see an actual therapist, just going in
in the beginning of a relationship, I think that's extreme
to it.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Straight.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
Yeah, if you start dating somebody and they like, let's
go to therapy, I don't know. I mean it's a
very progressive as way, Like I'm sure there are people
are you like.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
I don't know, that's a bit it's a bit much.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
I think that would be a little like weird, intimidating,
a little bit, not saying it's bad, but like it
just is. It's just a little weird to ask somebody
that you just started dating or newly get in a
relationship with. But like you said, Charrelle, like conversation, like
really sitting down and really listening and you know, hearing
(35:43):
the other person out and trying to understand why they
are the way they are and getting to know like
their childhood because you know, a lot of us deal
with childhood traumas and stuff like that. And it's like
do they even know that, you know, realize their childhood
traumas and you know, are they doing things to help
those help or they could be doing things to trigger
(36:04):
them and they don't know exactly. So, like you said,
like talking about it for sure, I'm a proponent of
if you already are doing individual like therapy and you
have spiritual advi advisors and whoever you know that you
have as a support system mentors.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
I think that that's accountability. But I wouldn't want to
have therapy like couples therapy at the beginning of a relationship.
I feel like that's a lot you know, I want
you to come in with what you have, right now,
if you're doing work on the side, I love it.
We talk about it, you know, you do that, but
(36:45):
because you're fixing things about yourself. But if I'm meeting
you right now, we just came to this point and
we're just like, hey, we just we're just now locking
in and we're getting closer together.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
I love that you're doing the work and you're exercising
your your mind. But I don't. I don't have to
be in in therapy. Therapy so early, I think that's
a lot.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
So how do you feel about, you know, getting into
a relationship and you know, a lot of women feel
like they have to teach their men how to love them.
Do you think that's an issue or do you feel
like you know, men should already know how to do
those things coming in. I feel like there's basics to
(37:27):
how to treat a woman, like just want you should
know how to come in and treat a woman now
when you want or expect more, then that's where that
communication you let them knowing, Hey, this is what I
would love for you to do. If you can work
on that, not just tell him to do it, but
try to work. Maybe try to work on this. This
is what I love and what what is it that
(37:49):
you look like to do? What is it that you
know that turned you on?
Speaker 1 (37:53):
Whatever? But just trying to just tell them they should
know the BA sick on how to and love on
a woman. But some don't. Some just get comfortable. I know,
I was.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
I know a situation where it was just like, I
don't I'm not gonna love bomb you. I'm not gonna
do this, and well, you need help because what you're
showing is not I don't know what women want to
be with you if you're doing.
Speaker 1 (38:21):
This, if you're acting.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
Yeah, I think some men really just they don't know
how like if they never had an example of it,
like if they never saw a man love their mom
or you know, if they just never saw it like
that example, then it's hard for them to know. Even
if even if they did have like a father and
(38:44):
mother at home, you know what I'm saying, there might
not have been loved there, or it might have been
the wrong type of you know, love, like it might
have been a messed up situation.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
You know. So it's like, I don't want to fault
a man for not knowing.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
I think there are basics, you know, to showing like
affectionated that you care somebody, care for somebody.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
But when it comes to like specifics, you know, like
as women, we we.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
Have a lot of you know, little things that you know,
a man he don't know how to He don't they don't.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
Men don't think like us, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
So there, I feel like there's things that I've had
to like explain to feel like, you know, this is
how I feel love, like do these things. And he's like,
you know, he don't think like I think, so he
would have never thought of that. And I think it's
okay to like have those conversations, you know, and tell
them specifically, like don't even try to like have them
read through the lines because men are slow and we
(39:44):
don't got time for that, so just tell them.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
I don't think it's wrong with telling them specifically, like, look,
this is the way that I feel loved.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
This is the way that you know, there are certain
things that I need from you in order to feel loved.
Speaker 1 (40:00):
But when I think it.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
Falls down, it boils down to too And I've seen it,
you know, growing up as a child, I had brothers
like if a man cries, stop acting like a little punk,
Like Drado's tears. It's like, we have to break those
generational curses. And it's okay for a little boy to cry.
It's okay for a man to cry. It's okay for
you to express your feelings, let it out, because what
(40:24):
you're doing is basically prohibiting.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
When you become a man.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
Now you have your guard up to your woman because
you feel like you're a punk if you cry, you
feel like if you express your So we have to
especially with us and our culture, we have to change that.
We have to allow my sons to break down, open up,
express yourself. Yeah, because I don't want you when you
(40:49):
become older, you're holding it in and you're building up
so much anger and you explode on somebody else or
something else. So we have to teach our boys, our
young men, it's okay to cry. It's okay to express
how you feel. It's okay to say I love you.
It's okay to kiss and hug. It's okay to hug
your daddy. It's okay for father to tell his son
that he loves him and kiss him and guide him
(41:10):
and open up to him.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
That's when we have to break that cycle.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
And that's when we will have more young men expressing
themselves and feeling like it's okay to love and we
don't as women don't have.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
That's right, now, that's right. I agree one percent. I agree.
I love it, I love it, I love it, I
love it. I love My brothers.
Speaker 2 (41:37):
Do we want We just want to awareness and we
we understand that they have emotional intelligence. We know that
go what they're capable of, but it gets suppressed by
ultra masculinity and just so much, so much of the
environmental forces.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
Yeah, fathers, it's time to change that narrative. It's trucked
to break that generational curse, that generational cycle. Show these
young men that it's okay to love, it's okay to
express your emotions, to hash affection, to cater to all
those things tap into that love absolutely absolutely yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
All right, now that's.
Speaker 2 (42:23):
Talk with some humble baddies. Who's doing the humble badies
now to day. I'll do it, yep, all good as
what you got for is mamma?
Speaker 1 (42:35):
All right? Oh wait, I just lost it, let me
find it, alrighty we have.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Jazmine from Atlanta, Georgia, Hey Boo from the A from
the a.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
Hey, Alexis, Charelle and Ashley.
Speaker 2 (42:53):
I need you. I need your take on something that's
been on my mind. My husband and I have been
together for seven years, and overall our relationship has been solid,
no major complaints. But recently I started noticing the smell
of marijuana in his car and it's throwing me off.
Speaker 1 (43:10):
Here's the thing.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
When we got together, we were both firmly against drug use,
and as far as I know, he never smoked. Now
I suspect he might be, but I haven't brought it
up because I don't want to start a fight. I
have strong feelings about this, and I'm torn. Is this
something worth a serious conversation? Could this be a deal breaker?
Or am I overreacting? And on that note, do you
(43:34):
even consider marijuana a real drug? Looking forward to your thoughts.
Thank you, I'm going look hard.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
Right near.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
The good look you let that mary smoke is marijuana
is an erg Okay, it's from the earth. It's ruined,
it's rooted, it is cultivated, it's planted.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
It's a seed.
Speaker 2 (43:58):
As somebody who was an average for the cannabis industry,
as a avid smoker, as someone who indulges in extracurricular activities.
Sys calm down, Okay, even if he's smelling like like,
it doesn't mean he's smoking it. And not only that,
there are many many states that have medicinal laws that
(44:22):
say it is okay. There's also stays to have recreational
meaning you can be outside and smoke all you want.
So I would have a conversation with him. I mean,
it doesn't seem like he's hiding it. Yes, it might
be different behavior or different you know option for him.
Now that you guys are dating and you see this,
(44:44):
and I don't consider it a drug whatsoever. It is
approved by the FDA, you can get licenses. It's doctors
that are you know, very much involved, as well as
people who know how to cultivate and produce these in
the aggregate culture background. So at the end of the day,
y'all have a discussion about what you think is appropriate,
(45:06):
how much you think is appropriate, and y'all should get
educated on what the benefits are of cannabis. At the
same time, you know, it shouldn't be a hindering of
your your relationship. I mean different employers are getting laxed
on these things. It's becoming again a way to move
through pain, a way through, to get through you know,
(45:28):
just whatever.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
Mental anxiety, yes, so much.
Speaker 2 (45:32):
So find out really do your research and make sure
you know understand that is beneficial.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
So that's all I got to say about that.
Speaker 2 (45:42):
I said, I think Lesnson Cloud now, yes, this, I
feel like y'all been married for years, there's like a
million other things that can have these stressed out.
Speaker 1 (45:55):
So I wouldn't let this, you know, get to you
like that.
Speaker 2 (45:58):
I wouldn't bring it up and such a heavy way,
but I would bring it up because maybe there's other
things that y'all need to address and talk about. Maybe
he is stressed out, Maybe he's using this to relieve
that stress. Maybe you know something that's going on that
you don't know about. And then obviously, like if he
feels like he can't tell you about it, then there's something.
Maybe there's an issue there too, you know, y'all or
(46:21):
Mary been married for seven years, y'all should be able to.
Speaker 1 (46:24):
Talk about things. You can't have to hide smoking and
yours is.
Speaker 2 (46:30):
A big deal too. By the way, congratulations y'all. Seven
years is the completion of a cycle. So y'all, yeah,
talk about it.
Speaker 1 (46:38):
I talked about. I think. I think as long as
it's not affecting his job.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
You know, he's not in the military, he's not in
a a occupation that you know, prohibits him from smoking marijuana,
it shouldn't be an issue. But maybe it's something that
he's been doing. But the fact that he's sneaking to door,
maybe he's respecting you because you don't like when and
he's he's doing it before he even comes around you.
It's nothing to you know, calls confusion over. Just have
(47:07):
a conversation like, hey, baby, y'all, notice you've been smoking.
I've been smelling weed. Have you started smoking? How long
have you been doing this? Let's have a conversation. But
nothing to act crazy about. I mean, he wanted to
smoke his little trees. Let him smoke his little trees.
Speaker 1 (47:22):
I agree. I agree. But thank you so much Jasmin
for writing to us.
Speaker 2 (47:27):
You guys. If y'all need some advice, relationship advice, business advice,
whatever kind of advice, y'all reach out to the Humble
Bodies at contact at Humblebadies dot com and let us
know what you guys want to talk about.
Speaker 1 (47:40):
We appreciate you for tuning in. We love y'all, Until
next time.
Speaker 2 (47:46):
Do you make sure y'all subscribe to at Humble Baddies
podcast and tell your cousins, your neighbors, your sisters, your coworkers,
your brothers, your side chicks, your sideman's to follow us
as well.
Speaker 1 (48:00):
Until next time, I
Get in my weight, never out of money. It's been
like you one and the more one is gonna be squaw.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Why do some women shame each other for wanting a
man with money? Is it gold digging or it's just
set in the standard. I think let's answer that one,
which I already because a lot of people may call
us those diggers because of our answers of what we
while we explain what we tell you something, I think
y'all sound like gold diggers. I think y'all have been
(00:29):
hurt and like y'all have been through so much. Yes,
I think y'all have been through traumatic like situations and
relationships with men. So now the love part of things
isn't don't hold as much weight, you know what I mean?
So I disagree, Hey, whatever, you've been there, this disagree cool.
(00:50):
I'm just I know, I'm giving my prison. It's a conversation.
I'm just giving my my my outlook on just what
I'm hearing. I just feel like, because you guys, because
y'all are saying, well, we've been divorced, you have it,
blah blah blah blah. So obviously that has changed your
perspective on how you would go about dating and whatnot.
(01:13):
So outside looking in to me, it seems like weight
the love, that the weight that love holds is not
as heavy, you know in a relationship that shift you're
looking for now, it's other things that are more.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
You know, important.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
So and I'm not saying like y'all are y'all something
is wrong with you or whatever. I'm just saying, like
the way I look at love, the way you look
at love is different.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
To me right now, love is very much I want
intention I want also the space of experience too.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Same love is palpable. I know, I think we have
we want the same things.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
But I'm just saying, like, I think there's other things
that y'all are saying are more important. Yes, my bars
very because of your past experiences, and it's not coming
from hurt. It's coming from experience and what was correct. Yes,
that's all I about to say. It's not the hurt, okay,
(02:19):
not so mine comes from a bar setting even high.
I'm not gonna lower my standards of cookie to hurt
because I'm thinking of I'm talking about emotionally like I
was trying to think of emotionally like where you were
because we're talking about love, and love is an emotion.
I'm not talking about things like experiences are kind of
(02:40):
like things. So I was talking about more like emotionally,
what what fulfill you?
Speaker 1 (02:47):
And you know love.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
I feel like y'all got this much room for love
and then this I have all the experiences, I have
all the love, and I have the love of the
level one can take. The level will continue to grow,
especially if whatever mind baring and until this relationship is
(03:13):
there a level with row. There's no like literal and
let me adds to this trail. The love that I
have comes from experience. It comes from hurt, but it
also comes from healing. So this love over here is
nurturing because I have children. It's nurturing because I love
life and you know, my sense of adventure it is
(03:33):
so abundant and and like elevated as well as like
electric that's becomes more attractive. I gotta get them off
of me, you know what I'm saying. It's just like
you know, I'm setting that standard in that resume. You know,
when you have a resume of a job, there's the
A pile, the B pond, the C pole.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
I'm definitely at the top of that a pile.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
I mean, it's a lot going on over here, but
at the same time, I'm bringing stuff to the table
and I expect that.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
From my partner. It is what it is. Yeah, that's
that I understand, and I I mean, I love it.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Portion of that that's wrong, Like, I hope y'all didn't
take that from what I was trying to say. I
Like I said earlier, I just want charl stop looking
like that because that the look.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
What's the look? What's the look? As let me say
that's how she's like. What's my point is?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
I don't want women to miss out on a good
man because he may not have on the outside what
you think a man should have, like blah.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Blah blah blah, like standards. It could be anything.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
It could be like you know how women are like
I don't want a man who's not six foot.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Four, or I don't want to man your blah blah
blah blah.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
I met guys who have everything and then they treat
their kids like shit. That's all the back red flag
for me. So or things like that, you know what
I mean. I see how they're talking to staff, I
see how they're talking to people. I see how they're
talking to someone that's cleaning up after them. Red flag
for me, you know what I mean? So I get
exactly what you're saying. Yeah, this was my point, That's
(05:11):
all I was saying. I'm saying, consider, considerate, Just consider
it like it may not be what you thought you
wanted or the ideal situation.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Huh, consider what consider I don't know if you happen
to meet a man, if you have to meet a
man who is financially stable, by the way, and does
have all the things, but she sleeps.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
God, this is how about how you your respond?
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Okay, well I'll stop talking then. Yeah. Matter of fact,
I'm gonna go hou.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
You're gonna go over here where little happily married situation
over here? Okay, because my point of view, that's all
I see it, and y'all don't want to hear it.
We are listening, and we are hearing. I'm hearing people, right.
I need another person on here with me because y'all
hapen to be ganging up on me?
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Are we ganging up? Yeah? It's thud against one right now.
I'm not sharing that. Yeah, somebody, you know, I'm sure
to chat lit right now.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
But no, I'm just saying I want us ladies to
have the bar standard high.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
I just I believe in old school courting. I believe
in I also believe in picnics and.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
What you can.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
I don't want you to go and y'all be above
and beyond and being debt like I don't want that.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
But nobody said that. Y'all keep saying that, Like.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Y'all, I'm just thinking about that date. Nobody who can't
pay the bills, who couldn't take me on a date,
like y'all know that.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
So I don't know why.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
I'm just saying that. It wasn't your response in the beginning.
Hold on, hold that thought. Let me go take Serenity
to band. Hey, you keep saying, like my standard, your
standards are here. I think everybody has high standards. What
I'm saying is, don't miss out on a good man
because he's not presenting in a way that you think
is up here or whatever.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Like he may be up here in other ways, but
you haven't gotten.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
To meet him and that part of him yet, because
I don't know, y'all need time to get there or whatever.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
I think it's about not.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Present where we're traveling where we are, what rooms we're in,
how we're moving.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
We're also meeting those kind of guys too. I'm gonna
be real with you.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
I mean, I'll wait till Hirell gets back on that
like back back and locked in. But it's about that too.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
I was saying, I would you say, I was saying, like,
we are in these rooms where the way we travel,
We're in these these rooms, We're in these boardrooms, we're
in these events, we're in the back rooms of a concert.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
We're around these type of men. You know what I mean?
That approach you well to right the way the game?
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Would you say, well, we don't have to play the
waiting game. Were they just doing them financially and we're
doing We're being approached by man never established right. They're
understands what the woman wants and needs and what makes
her happen. So they're they're trying to be in an
addition to I don't know, y'all lost me now. But
(08:28):
it's because you're contradicting yourself. How because you said one
minute you started off saying, I just don't it's okay.
She paid her bills, he pay his bills, She paid
his bills. I said, Now she she paid her bills
and he paid his bills, and it's just nothing financially there,
(08:50):
it's just whatever, y'all just falling in love. Like y'all
do realize a lot of people in America they be
paying their own bills and be married like that's it's
not just that, it's like we want more to it.
They're talking to people who are you know, so when
I'm speaking, I'm speaking to an audience of people. Then
I started speaking on me specifically, or really y'all because
(09:14):
y'all are dating. I'm just saying, like what if you
what if you met somebody he's financially stable and then
he pays his bills. You know, he's he can take
you on dates, he can do things, but it might
not be the standard of up here, like like what
you were saying, you know that you want him to
go above and beyond, like he's doing things above and beyond,
(09:35):
but maybe it's not the expense of the above and
beyond that.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
So that's yeah, it's not about that.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Well that's what it sounded like. Of course, love language
is time spent. It's it's a lie. I said, he's
doing all those things, but y'all are saying like, no, like.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
He needs to be able to because my question, my question.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
In the beginning was a broke boyfriend, and I've said
nobody wants a broke boyfriend, and so then we moved
it on to saying, Okay, he's financially stable, but he
may not present as somebody who can do like the
expensive things for you, but.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
He but it's not about the expensive things.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
It's about like it's small things like, Okay, you surprised
me what they put on.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Man, you surprised me with roses. You're going out your
way to do those A man doing that, Yes, that's
what I'm saying. He does that, he thinks.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
But I think y'all were saying we're no, we're okay
with them. What I was understanding from what you were
saying in the beginning, you was like, he do his
thing financially. She knew her thing financially, and y'all just
have good conversation. That's what I would get.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Maybe Serenity was moving around too much, but he wasn't
going above and beyond with other things.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
I don't care about your expenses, Like.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
It really came out to me that y'all were talking
about and you alexis saying about how well traveled you are,
and he needs to be able to do this and
do that, like all these things. So I'm saying he
not present that he does all those things, but he
is showing effort like he's he's going above and beyond.
But it might not be those with your ex husband.
(11:12):
It might be you know, something else, but it's still
going above and beyond. What is above and beyond, like
like how you were just saying, like writing poems, showing
like interest and effort and you know, being sweet, surprising you.
That's above that beyond. But to alexis that might not be.
(11:33):
So that's what I'm saying. I don't know, are y'all
talking about like extensive stuff?
Speaker 1 (11:37):
Are y'all talking again?
Speaker 2 (11:38):
What I'm saying the men that approached me as well
as the confidence to continue just understanding what kind of
woman I am, they're very much attracted to.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
This is what it is.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
I travel, I am a philanthropist, I do these things.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
I'm well charged. So it's just that paying over and over.
But it's fine. I get it.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
We see things a little differently, Like I still think
the whole love weight thing is there, and I think
that it is because y'all have different experiences than I have.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
It is good hear you what.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
I said, because you only got one damn experience, so
you can't.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
We can't.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
You don't understand what we're saying and what we've been
through because you have an experience. I actually do experience,
I actually do understand. I do understand. I'm just saying again,
I just don't want women to miss out on a
good man because he might not have, you know, whatever
(12:50):
standard is. And I've said, your standard could be that
he's six foot four and he does this, and he's that,
like whatever your standard is, like, sometimes you might need
to look somewhere different or at something different because you've
been missing out on something.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
That's all I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Yeah, But I just don't want to give bad advice
to men or women by this set bad advice.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
I'm not saying, So don't nobody. I didn't say.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
I didn't say you were, but I'm just saying. My
question in the beginning was would you date a and
we said no, we wouldn't dated broke boy, right, right,
So that's what we're focusing on, but you're not settling
old just because he have a good conversation.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Maybe we can work things out and grow with it.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
That's where our answers are coming from, our response are
coming from. So to clear it up, even in the chat,
we're not looking for it's just what our send is.
We know what our standard is, and we know at
this point of age, we know what we want in
our relationship. We expect in a relationship, just like a
(13:52):
man know what he wants from a woman who's in
her late thirties early forties in a relationship.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
So it's not being a gold bigger.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
It's not saying, oh, you know you're ruthless, let me
know when you find this that and the third it's
like I've been through this and I don't want to
go through it again. The love will come, the love
will grow, but these are what I expect when I
get into this. Everybody, everybody has, everybody wants those things.
So we are in agreeance on that totally. I don't
(14:21):
think that makes you see y'all go diggers or anything
like that. But like you said, our experiences are different,
so the way I think we talk about it and
express it is different. But I think at the end
of the day, we all want the same thing, but
the way that express it, it's going to come out
differently stability because of our experiences.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
All of that. That's good, but we can agree because
I like pemstand surprise. I love that. I love a picnic,
I love a walk.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Somebody says, stop speaking for a low income people. I
don't think I'm speaking for a low the people. I
think I'm just speaking for I'm trying to speak for.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Ladies who.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Are hopeless romantics that want to find love. That's who
I'm speaking. I'm a hopeless romantics too.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
I didn't tell you. I'm just something me.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Yeah, No, I'm with you, all right. I'm all for
all of that. I believe in alignment, I believe in
chance meetings.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
All this kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
But you know, I want to turn up and have
a good dinner. And we're not thinking about that either.
I'm just speaking real because you know, at the end
of the day, when them, when that love starts to
get a little call up out, when the money run
and them butterfly s fate what money right now?
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Then? What?
Speaker 2 (15:49):
No? Because y'all gonna talk about it, y'all gonna get
it going. Y'all already have y'all businesses and that thing.
But you can talk about love too, just like you
can talk about business. Work to talk about that's like
finance work. You gotta put it just as much effort
in both boats.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
I agree with that. Yeah, I feel like you would.
I would. I'm telling you it's it's both.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
It's both like you gotta work on the love keeping
the love part just as much you got to work
on the finance part.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
It's like them can bring the communication. That's communications. Communication
once needs all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
But every like going back to what everybody expect different things,
and they should we answer for somebody else who don't
care about everyone different.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
I have my standards, have my this is what I
need from you. It is what it is. That's my list.
It's for me.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
I think everybody should definitely have standards and have a
list like you have to like what are your non
negotiable what are you not not fucking with ables? Just
like but I'm gonna say it like I'm gonna say
this right here though, to back to Ashley, I don't
think it should be equal.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
What should be equal? He said? The love and the
the work should be equal.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
No, I feel like the work should be a little
bit more because love ain't paying them deals.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
It's not an equal thing. It's just like a balanced thing.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
It's like a Sometimes the love part might need more work,
more time, more effort, and then some or it might
be the business part. Y'all need to work on your
finances more like especially if you're in a long term relationship.
Shit gonna be like this. You know.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
You relationship. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
So I don't know about it being equal, but I
just think they both got to be tended to everything.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
I'm I'm on my fuck love tour. I see that
I'm stressed and love.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
And even don't want to be in love or you
want not right now or until that person comes. I'm
gonna take I'm gonna when did I need it. I'm
gonna take you on a date. Charille, you need some love.
I'm gonna can I think you loud. I need to
rub off on you a little bit. Girl said she
(18:32):
has love. Tell me, y'all, I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking.
I'm joking.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
It just sounded good. Hold you.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
I definitely turned up right post divorce post breakup. But
then I went on to hold the battle on.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Lance.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
We need to have a conversation, and I've been doing day, y'all.
I'm been doing here for you. We move on to
the next topic because y'all strusting me out. Okay, y'all
strusting me out?
Speaker 1 (19:09):
What'sn't that? I done lost my spot? We'll be It's
all right, Lloyd. I am stressed. I mean, I don't
know whatever. What's the next topic? Where are we at? Look?
Look now that sense you know I talked about my tour.
(19:30):
The question is should women date multiple men? One? Yes, yes,
I'm scared to answer. I'm gonna say, let me speak
on this, yes, speak speak six.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Oh you're gonna put that that you're adding that one
on there? Okay, all right, yes they should. The reason
why I'm saying this until he says, and y'all say,
we are together, we are committed. I don't want to
see or anybody else, and you shouldn't see anybody else
(20:10):
until then.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
You are single.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
You are not committed, and you're very much single, and
according to the government, until you have a paper certificate
that says you're married. So until there's a committed a verbal, committed,
you know, conversation of we are together. This is what
our relationship looks like, meaning we do not seek other people,
(20:34):
we do not date other people, or whatever it looks like.
Until you have that conversation, you are free to be
liberated and to understand who you are.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Meaning I agreed date them all. So if I'm if
I'm engaged in a relationship, have I engaged?
Speaker 2 (20:53):
I said, if you have a committed relationship, then you're
the If you're not, until you have that conversation, be
free like the bird, Be free like Lady Liberty in
New York.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Be free. Okay, you gotta date. I do so. I
do believe.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
I feel like it's okay for women to date multiple
men as once you don't have to sleep with every
one of them.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
You can have one that's you know, that lays it down,
but you can it's okay too.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
But then again, it's hard because you get emotionally attached
to that one who lays it down, and you get
blind sided and foggy, and you miss out on the
dead things that the other men can provide in experience
because you're sexually attached to that one that leads the
pipe down to mister plumber.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Whole point is a date. Date means to sick.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
So I so my my thing is, if you're gonna
date multiple, multiple men, I wouldn't have sex with any
of them until you pick one day.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
I'm not condoning multiple partners. I'm just no.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
I know, I'm definitely condoning like dating different men just
experiences types, and I want the ladies to choose, you know.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
I just feel like I'm an advocate for us.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
To to to let them court us, to let them
see what they're gonna show us, and for them to
be to come.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
To the flower. I'm very a proponent of that.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
I teach my boys this, to court women and to
show them who you are, and I expect my daughters
to be like, you know what, let me see what's
going on.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
I encourage dating.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Them all, date them, all, have fun and be very
much like Cherrelle said, you don't not sexual with everybody
because I believe in sexual energy.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
I believe in soul ties. I believe in all that exchange.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
But at the same time, I do believe in going
out to eat, going to have a coffee, having guy friends,
just understanding how think and and who you liked.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Who do you like? That's what it really boils down to.
Who do I like? Who do I really can be
a friend with? Who can I laugh with? Who can
I spend time with?
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Who can I cry with? Who's gonna come and help
me feel better if I'm sick. That's what I want
you to understand, you know, I want you to understand
what that is. So yes, state them all.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Have hm hmm, Well, I have been with the same
person for a long time.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
But if I may please answer this question anyway, please,
I've only had one experience gied woman according to Ms Charrell,
not the boys.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
I think that woman.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Should also date multiple men. I don't think they should
have sex with all of them like I said, But yeah,
I mean I feel like you should definitely get out
there see what you like, like you said, Alexis.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
And I don't know.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
I think for me though, it would be hard if
I knew I was trying to find like the one.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
I don't think I could continue to date multiple people.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Like I think I would. You know, It's I don't
normally like like a lot of people at once. You know,
I'm not that type of person. It's like it's tough
once you find out one person, it's like I'm obsessed
about that one person. So it would be hard for
me to like give somebody else some attention because I'm
gonna be so worried and focused about what he doing,
(24:39):
where he at with like you know what I mean,
Otherwise I don't really like you like that. Like if
I don't, if I'm not immediately like obsessed with you,
then I probably don't even really like you like that,
you know what I'm saying. But if I if I
meet somebody and then i meet somebody else and I'm
interested in him, like I really, I mean, that means
I'm just bored, you know, and I'm just filling up time.
(25:00):
I'm just occupying myself. I'm not really interested. It's just
you've caught my attention for a second, you know what
I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
I feel like.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
I'm kind of an obsessive person and also like I
kind of be knowing. I mean, that's how it was
when I met Phield, Like I met him one time,
well the second time I actually met him, we was
obsessed with each other.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
And but I don't speak on my little, one little thing.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
So I'm gonna be quiet that Charrelle over here giving
me faces and stuff, and I'm already stressed out.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
So you've seen, you've seen your friends, ash you saw
I got that's all I the board. You've seen.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
You've seen our friends. You've seen her, You've seen your
friends go through some all the yes.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
As you know what we've been through over.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
You know what we've been through some ship. You want
to say, you want us to get out there. You
want us to, you know, see if the grass is greener.
You want us, you encourage us to and understand what
it is we do. You've been very supportive in that.
You know I'm the matchmaker. I'll be trying to cut
all up and do the most, you know, saying I'm
here for it, like I ain't.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Single, ain't gonna be single. I'm living through y'all, so
like I'm here for all of it, Okay, Ashley, ready
to set me up? I am. I can't wait. Like
hello everybody. Every day somebody like are they back together?
What they got on?
Speaker 2 (26:27):
I'm like, I'm like, oh those two by the way, Chell, Oh,
you know I'm here, y'all gonna be asking me these questions.
I can only speak on my little one, little situation
what we adore, by the way, and we had min
(26:49):
that's no, that's no shame.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
We love it.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
And then you know still it is our brother, that's
right from the seven o six exactly from the deep
down South. We're from the same holdun. You know how
to treat his women. That's why they married to this
day as how to give it to because Ashley, enjoy your.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Girl, y'all y'all are, but.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
You wanting to have my little input to you know,
I'll be having a hypothetically like.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Giving.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
She also knows us to Charrell. She know we love
her girls. She know we want to be with one person.
Like it's just you know, it just don't aligne. Sometimes
I'm here for y'all need to y'all need to be
y'all need to be dating more like as sorry as I'm.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
Taking so I need I need to start dating. What
are you waiting on? Yeah, let's go. Thats fun, have fun.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Just you want a friend, be a friend. That's because
I'm just fine. I'm the matchmaker. I'm gonna set it up.
So when I call you and I say, hey, I
got a date for you, I don't want to hear nothing.
Then I just like nothing nothing, y'all should y'all should
do a speed data. Yeah, we're gonna do. We're gonna
see then set it up. Oh it's just you on
(28:11):
a nice Charrell and then a has like twenty guys.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
If any men want to take my girls out on
a date, if y'all want to just speed and hit
me in the DM, I'm sure in the DM.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
So we're gonna set it up because I really we
need to get this going because y'all playing with me.
But are you trying to lock us down? Or are
you trying to do it's just dating. We just spinda,
get y'all, y'all, get y'all feet wet. You know what
I'm saying, y'all need to get out here at least
Charrelle scharl need to get her feet wet. Let's you know,
we just want to You can lead the way, all right,
And I'm the mashmaker.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
You know it's time.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
Looking like you in a relationship. What you got going
on over there? Look like I'm in a relationship, look
like it's just like I can't I can't be involved.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
You involved?
Speaker 2 (28:58):
But I'm very much a committed too, So if I'm
locked in I'm locked in. All right, are you long?
Speaker 1 (29:05):
I'm very much okay, say less. This is about to
get interesting. What you mean about to it's just that
any Yeah, I'm not fooling with y'all. I'm like, oh boy,
(29:32):
this is okay. What's next? I don't know. Astley said,
I'm gonna get y'all together. Let's move on. It's a
humble about thees mail time is what? No, it's not,
it's not. We got to talk about Bennie Blanco making happy.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
You know.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
I love Benny. I'm a fan. Go ahead, that's okay,
you know about it. I haven't seen the blue You haven't.
Oh you haven't seen the blueprint. Let me tell you something.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
I you know, it's a beautiful thing when men have
awareness of their partner. You know. I think it's it's
just needs to be commended. It needs to be elevated,
it needs to be highlighted. And so I'm a fan
of Benny after he went on a podcast talking with
his soon to be wife, and I just.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Love how he's like, you know, I know what she needs.
I know what it takes for her to be her
best self.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
So if it's me spending because he's a music producer,
So if he's in the studio a long time, he's like, hey, babe,
you know, I know you expected me at such and
such time. I mean, I'm just making this up this scenario, guys.
But if I expect you here at this time, hey,
I'm a little late. I know that's what she needs
for her mental health, for her awareness. And I think
(31:03):
it's dope, you know. And he's very much being adamant
and very outspoken on this this topic about really supporting
his spouse and doing whatever he needs to be his best,
the best, whatever he needs to be for his best
self for her, for her to be her best self.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
I think that's the ultimate, the ultimate goal for everybody.
So I like Benny.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
So shout out to Benny for that. What do y'all
think about about the situation in general?
Speaker 1 (31:30):
And I need what the blueprint is?
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Yeah, I don't know what it is. So he wrote
the blueprint? He wrote, wasn't talking about it. He's just like,
let me, let me I'll read a little bit. And
Resa Viral Podcast needs to producer Bennie Blackell drop some
serious relationship wisdom and honesty. Men need to take notes
in this episode title how Benny Taught Me to trust again.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Benny revealed that beat before getting together with Selena.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
He made a list, yes, an actual list, but it's therapy,
which was also a big deal because he's talking to
a therapist about a potential partner, the qualities he wanted
in a future partner. And this wasn't just about manifesting,
It's about emotional growth. So in today's dating culture, where
(32:18):
ghosting is the norm, he it's like, don't you feel it?
Like it's refreshing that a man is willing to like
communicate and willing to just give you a peace of mind,
the sense of like, you know what, this is who
I am. I want you to be your best self.
So I feel like he is advocating for not just
the couples being very much you know, anchored in awareness,
(32:41):
but it's just very much the men stepping up and saying,
you know what, I want to help this lady be
my partner.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
I want her to be the best self. So that's
what it was to me that I gravitated to the most. Well,
I think that's.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Great that we have some a man finally speaking positively
on you know, how to treat a woman in a relationship,
how to support a woman, you know, because I feel like.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
We don't have a lot of that. We don't have
a lot.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
I mean, it's a lot of negativity, a lot of
the whole fifty to fifty conversation, it's a lot of that.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
So it's it feels good to like have this conversation.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
And I'm sure like men look up to him because
he is in like the music world, so he has
an audience, you know, where it will be received hopefully,
So hopefully it's a domino effect, like you know, he
put it out there. Now more men, you know, jump
on that band wearing something that we want them to
(33:40):
jump on.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
So shout out to our humble daddy.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Yeah, yeah, Do you do you all feel like therapy
should be like a almost a non negotiable when you're
dating someone or do you feel like it's later on,
like when you guys are like in locked in and
like's like together, you're ready to be here like separate,
like each pretty very going to therapy. Just I feel
like I feel like therapy can be communication between the
(34:06):
both of you guys. That's therapy to me, Like you know,
you're understanding what each other want. You're laying your boundaries
out there, you're laying what you expect, what you're don't
don't expect, and.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
You're you're you're learning each other. That's therapy.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
I just feel like we overlook a lot of those things,
not understanding and talking about the boundaries.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
We just go straight into it.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
We have the butterflies and we're you know, we're having
all the fun things, but we don't sit down and
have that serious conversation of what pisces you off, what
you like, what you don't like, you know, what are
your coping mechanisms, recognizing if those are good, if those
are good coping mechanisms or not. Like just having those
type of serious conversations that's therapy. But going into a
(34:54):
actually going to see an actual therapist, just going in
in the beginning of a relationship, I think that's extreme
to it.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Straight.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
Yeah, if you start dating somebody and they like, let's
go to therapy, I don't know. I mean it's a
very progressive as way, Like I'm sure there are people
are you like.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
I don't know, that's a bit it's a bit much.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
I think that would be a little like weird, intimidating,
a little bit, not saying it's bad, but like it
just is. It's just a little weird to ask somebody
that you just started dating or newly get in a
relationship with. But like you said, Charrelle, like conversation, like
really sitting down and really listening and you know, hearing
(35:43):
the other person out and trying to understand why they
are the way they are and getting to know like
their childhood because you know, a lot of us deal
with childhood traumas and stuff like that. And it's like
do they even know that, you know, realize their childhood
traumas and you know, are they doing things to help
those help or they could be doing things to trigger
(36:04):
them and they don't know exactly. So, like you said,
like talking about it for sure, I'm a proponent of
if you already are doing individual like therapy and you
have spiritual advi advisors and whoever you know that you
have as a support system mentors.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
I think that that's accountability. But I wouldn't want to
have therapy like couples therapy at the beginning of a relationship.
I feel like that's a lot you know, I want
you to come in with what you have, right now,
if you're doing work on the side, I love it.
We talk about it, you know, you do that, but
(36:45):
because you're fixing things about yourself. But if I'm meeting
you right now, we just came to this point and
we're just like, hey, we just we're just now locking
in and we're getting closer together.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
I love that you're doing the work and you're exercising
your your mind. But I don't. I don't have to
be in in therapy. Therapy so early, I think that's
a lot.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
So how do you feel about, you know, getting into
a relationship and you know, a lot of women feel
like they have to teach their men how to love them.
Do you think that's an issue or do you feel
like you know, men should already know how to do
those things coming in. I feel like there's basics to
(37:27):
how to treat a woman, like just want you should
know how to come in and treat a woman now
when you want or expect more, then that's where that
communication you let them knowing, Hey, this is what I
would love for you to do. If you can work
on that, not just tell him to do it, but
try to work. Maybe try to work on this. This
is what I love and what what is it that
(37:49):
you look like to do? What is it that you
know that turned you on?
Speaker 1 (37:53):
Whatever? But just trying to just tell them they should
know the BA sick on how to and love on
a woman. But some don't. Some just get comfortable. I know,
I was.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
I know a situation where it was just like, I
don't I'm not gonna love bomb you. I'm not gonna
do this, and well, you need help because what you're
showing is not I don't know what women want to
be with you if you're doing.
Speaker 1 (38:21):
This, if you're acting.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
Yeah, I think some men really just they don't know
how like if they never had an example of it,
like if they never saw a man love their mom
or you know, if they just never saw it like
that example, then it's hard for them to know. Even
if even if they did have like a father and
(38:44):
mother at home, you know what I'm saying, there might
not have been loved there, or it might have been
the wrong type of you know, love, like it might
have been a messed up situation.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
You know. So it's like, I don't want to fault
a man for not knowing.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
I think there are basics, you know, to showing like
affectionated that you care somebody, care for somebody.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
But when it comes to like specifics, you know, like
as women, we we.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
Have a lot of you know, little things that you know,
a man he don't know how to He don't they don't.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
Men don't think like us, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
So there, I feel like there's things that I've had
to like explain to feel like, you know, this is
how I feel love, like do these things. And he's like,
you know, he don't think like I think, so he
would have never thought of that. And I think it's
okay to like have those conversations, you know, and tell
them specifically, like don't even try to like have them
read through the lines because men are slow and we
(39:44):
don't got time for that, so just tell them.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
I don't think it's wrong with telling them specifically, like, look,
this is the way that I feel loved.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
This is the way that you know, there are certain
things that I need from you in order to feel loved.
Speaker 1 (40:00):
But when I think it.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
Falls down, it boils down to too And I've seen it,
you know, growing up as a child, I had brothers
like if a man cries, stop acting like a little punk,
Like Drado's tears. It's like, we have to break those
generational curses. And it's okay for a little boy to cry.
It's okay for a man to cry. It's okay for
you to express your feelings, let it out, because what
(40:24):
you're doing is basically prohibiting.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
When you become a man.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
Now you have your guard up to your woman because
you feel like you're a punk if you cry, you
feel like if you express your So we have to
especially with us and our culture, we have to change that.
We have to allow my sons to break down, open up,
express yourself. Yeah, because I don't want you when you
(40:49):
become older, you're holding it in and you're building up
so much anger and you explode on somebody else or
something else. So we have to teach our boys, our
young men, it's okay to cry. It's okay to express
how you feel. It's okay to say I love you.
It's okay to kiss and hug. It's okay to hug
your daddy. It's okay for father to tell his son
that he loves him and kiss him and guide him
(41:10):
and open up to him.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
That's when we have to break that cycle.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
And that's when we will have more young men expressing
themselves and feeling like it's okay to love and we
don't as women don't have.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
That's right, now, that's right. I agree one percent. I agree.
I love it, I love it, I love it, I
love it. I love My brothers.
Speaker 2 (41:37):
Do we want We just want to awareness and we
we understand that they have emotional intelligence. We know that
go what they're capable of, but it gets suppressed by
ultra masculinity and just so much, so much of the
environmental forces.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
Yeah, fathers, it's time to change that narrative. It's trucked
to break that generational curse, that generational cycle. Show these
young men that it's okay to love, it's okay to
express your emotions, to hash affection, to cater to all
those things tap into that love absolutely absolutely yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
All right, now that's.
Speaker 2 (42:23):
Talk with some humble baddies. Who's doing the humble badies
now to day. I'll do it, yep, all good as
what you got for is mamma?
Speaker 1 (42:35):
All right? Oh wait, I just lost it, let me
find it, alrighty we have.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Jazmine from Atlanta, Georgia, Hey Boo from the A from
the a.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
Hey, Alexis, Charelle and Ashley.
Speaker 2 (42:53):
I need you. I need your take on something that's
been on my mind. My husband and I have been
together for seven years, and overall our relationship has been solid,
no major complaints. But recently I started noticing the smell
of marijuana in his car and it's throwing me off.
Speaker 1 (43:10):
Here's the thing.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
When we got together, we were both firmly against drug use,
and as far as I know, he never smoked. Now
I suspect he might be, but I haven't brought it
up because I don't want to start a fight. I
have strong feelings about this, and I'm torn. Is this
something worth a serious conversation? Could this be a deal breaker?
Or am I overreacting? And on that note, do you
(43:34):
even consider marijuana a real drug? Looking forward to your thoughts.
Thank you, I'm going look hard.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
Right near.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
The good look you let that mary smoke is marijuana
is an erg Okay, it's from the earth. It's ruined,
it's rooted, it is cultivated, it's planted.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
It's a seed.
Speaker 2 (43:58):
As somebody who was an average for the cannabis industry,
as a avid smoker, as someone who indulges in extracurricular activities.
Sys calm down, Okay, even if he's smelling like like,
it doesn't mean he's smoking it. And not only that,
there are many many states that have medicinal laws that
(44:22):
say it is okay. There's also stays to have recreational
meaning you can be outside and smoke all you want.
So I would have a conversation with him. I mean,
it doesn't seem like he's hiding it. Yes, it might
be different behavior or different you know option for him.
Now that you guys are dating and you see this,
(44:44):
and I don't consider it a drug whatsoever. It is
approved by the FDA, you can get licenses. It's doctors
that are you know, very much involved, as well as
people who know how to cultivate and produce these in
the aggregate culture background. So at the end of the day,
y'all have a discussion about what you think is appropriate,
(45:06):
how much you think is appropriate, and y'all should get
educated on what the benefits are of cannabis. At the
same time, you know, it shouldn't be a hindering of
your your relationship. I mean different employers are getting laxed
on these things. It's becoming again a way to move
through pain, a way through, to get through you know,
(45:28):
just whatever.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
Mental anxiety, yes, so much.
Speaker 2 (45:32):
So find out really do your research and make sure
you know understand that is beneficial.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
So that's all I got to say about that.
Speaker 2 (45:42):
I said, I think Lesnson Cloud now, yes, this, I
feel like y'all been married for years, there's like a
million other things that can have these stressed out.
Speaker 1 (45:55):
So I wouldn't let this, you know, get to you
like that.
Speaker 2 (45:58):
I wouldn't bring it up and such a heavy way,
but I would bring it up because maybe there's other
things that y'all need to address and talk about. Maybe
he is stressed out, Maybe he's using this to relieve
that stress. Maybe you know something that's going on that
you don't know about. And then obviously, like if he
feels like he can't tell you about it, then there's something.
Maybe there's an issue there too, you know, y'all or
(46:21):
Mary been married for seven years, y'all should be able to.
Speaker 1 (46:24):
Talk about things. You can't have to hide smoking and
yours is.
Speaker 2 (46:30):
A big deal too. By the way, congratulations y'all. Seven
years is the completion of a cycle. So y'all, yeah,
talk about it.
Speaker 1 (46:38):
I talked about. I think. I think as long as
it's not affecting his job.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
You know, he's not in the military, he's not in
a a occupation that you know, prohibits him from smoking marijuana,
it shouldn't be an issue. But maybe it's something that
he's been doing. But the fact that he's sneaking to door,
maybe he's respecting you because you don't like when and
he's he's doing it before he even comes around you.
It's nothing to you know, calls confusion over. Just have
(47:07):
a conversation like, hey, baby, y'all, notice you've been smoking.
I've been smelling weed. Have you started smoking? How long
have you been doing this? Let's have a conversation. But
nothing to act crazy about. I mean, he wanted to
smoke his little trees. Let him smoke his little trees.
Speaker 1 (47:22):
I agree. I agree. But thank you so much Jasmin
for writing to us.
Speaker 2 (47:27):
You guys. If y'all need some advice, relationship advice, business advice,
whatever kind of advice, y'all reach out to the Humble
Bodies at contact at Humblebadies dot com and let us
know what you guys want to talk about.
Speaker 1 (47:40):
We appreciate you for tuning in. We love y'all, Until
next time.
Speaker 2 (47:46):
Do you make sure y'all subscribe to at Humble Baddies
podcast and tell your cousins, your neighbors, your sisters, your coworkers,
your brothers, your side chicks, your sideman's to follow us
as well.
Speaker 1 (48:00):
Until next time, I
Host
Shannon Sharpe
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