December 14, 2023 • 48 mins
Join Darren and Donny as they sit down with Graham Mertz, the University of Florida's quarterback, in an episode filled with inspiration and resilience. Discover Graham's journey from a football-loving youngster to overcoming self-doubt and finding faith. He emphasizes the joy of serving others and the importance of leaving a meaningful legacy. Tune in as Graham shares his wisdom on goal-setting, fulfillment, and how his love for golf aligns with life and football.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Comeback Stories is a production I've Inflectioned Network and iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Welcome back, everyone to another episode of Comeback Stories. I'm
one of your co hosts, Darren Waller, here for another
episode with my guy, my brother, Donnie Starkins.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Donnie, how we doing today? Man?
Speaker 4 (00:24):
Doing great?
Speaker 5 (00:25):
Man, I'm always excited on we record, typically on Tuesdays,
I get hyped up for this because one I get
to see you and two we get to drop into
some some meaningful conversations.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
And I'm hyped for today.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
No doubt.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Man, I'm super excited about today's guest. You may have
seen him, know him from being under center down there
in the swamp, but we're excited to dive into this
man's story as a human being, things that he's faced
and overcame in his life. Please welcome my man, Graham
merch the show.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Graham.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
How we doing?
Speaker 6 (00:54):
And I'm doing great. I'm blessed so looking forward to
this man. I've seen some clips, so I'm fired up
to dive into it a little bit.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Yes, sir, man, blessed to have you. We love to
start from the very beginning. People see where you're at
now and see you're on TV playing in big games.
But what was life like growing up for you just
as a kid.
Speaker 6 (01:12):
Yeah, I mean, so I I got the hat on
right now, kind of fitting. But I'm from a city
right outside of Kansas City called Overland Park. But yeah,
I grew up with a really close family. Two older
sisters both were both were hoopers. I wanted to be
a hooper, but didn't really work out for me. Wasn't
that athletic, so I stuck with playing quarterback. But really
(01:34):
close family. They're all my best friends, talk to them
every day. So I mean, great upbringing in two amazing parents.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
No doubt.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Man, how you said I talked about football. How early
did playing football come into the picture for you?
Speaker 6 (01:49):
Man, I'd say my earliest memory obviously grew up to
play flag football and all this stuff. But for me,
it was the moment where I found out I really
loved it. Was when I was going to my sister's
basketball tournaments and I was actually like throwing the ball
around at halftime instead of shooting. So I was like,
probably means something, I probably really liked this, and then
(02:12):
I mean just got obsessed with it. I still played basketball,
still played baseball a little bit, so but man, I
always loved football, So that was that was deep down
something that I always leaned into any chance I had,
whether it was in the neighborhood or watching TV, watching
guys play, that was all about ball.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Man.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
I feel you.
Speaker 6 (02:33):
Man.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
My mom always tells a story about when I was young,
like I'd be playing football, or it'd be basketball season,
baseball season. I tried tennis for a little bit, but
no matter what it was, what uniform I was wearing,
I'd be running around the house with a football or
like sleeping with sleeping with the football.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 6 (02:49):
So, uh, nerfball, a little squishy nerfball, run around everywhere
with that thing exactly.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Never could get enough. But I want to ask you
a question that we always ask like was there anything
from your childhood that was maybe painful or confusing or
affected the way you.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
Looked at life?
Speaker 2 (03:06):
And I asked that because for me, growing up, I
felt very confused as far as maybe like finding my identity.
I always felt like a strange kid. I was very sensitive,
just felt like nothing that I did really fit in
and I kind of got rejected for it, kind of
made fun of for it, and I kind of dove
into football. I was like, this is my way to
prove myself, for me to be accepted in society. Was
(03:28):
there anything growing up for you that may have impacted
your perspective in that kind of way.
Speaker 6 (03:33):
Yeah, I mean, I'm gonna go a different same topic,
but a different way of twisting it. I'd say growing up,
I didn't really have any hardships. I mean, my parents
did a great job of providing for me and working
hard for our family, which I thoroughly appreciate. So for me,
it was it was actually going through not a ton
of hardships and then getting into the older years of
(03:54):
my life where I started hitting those and then then
you run into what you just talked about about finding
your true identity, your values, what makes you go, makes
you pick. So for me, it was it was growing
up and like I was, I was blessed to have
a great family, great foundation, a great household, and I
think that down the road that was one thing that
(04:16):
I mean, you don't wish hardship on yourself, but I
think it's one thing to realize that that's in order
to get to where you want to go, that's necessary,
and you got it. You got to dive into that
when you get when you get opportunities like that. So
for me, i'd say that kind of came later down
the road after not really having a lot in my childhood.
You're always you're loved, everybody's always surrounding you and and
(04:40):
supporting you, and then when you get on your own,
that really tests that that foundation and your values. So
for me, it was later down the road.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
It's a very wise thing for you to say. I mean,
I know when I was, I mean, how old are you?
Speaker 6 (04:55):
Just turned twenty three? Man? So I'm getting old in
my in my college years.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Yeah, I mean looking back to when I was twenty three,
you would never hear the words come out of my
mouth like adversity is something that I need. Adversity is
something that I welcome or I see as necessary for
my growth. And I think that's powerful because there's a
lot of young guys in your position that may be
going through things that you're going through, asking why is
(05:19):
this happening? Like how did I get here? Why are
things not going my way? And just because it may
be a season of things not going their way, they
may see it as just life totally not going their way.
So I think that's that's really dope.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
And Donnie and I know you got something for that.
Speaker 5 (05:36):
Yeah, I'm chomping at the bid always, but I mean
it's graam. So I think I know like one city
and it's Overland Park. Would be Kansas, Right, there's like
one city I know in Kansas and it's Overland Park.
Because one of my friends and clients, Tyron Matthew, live
in Overland Park, and I would go out and travel
and do one on one stuff with them all the time,
(05:57):
and I'd fly in and fly out the same day.
But it was Overland Park was the city I was in. Yeah,
that's cool.
Speaker 6 (06:04):
Best barbecue in the country. Man, Oh, it is no debate.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
I'm curious for you.
Speaker 5 (06:10):
Okay, So not a lot of childhood shit, like, not
a lot of hardship, but obviously it came in college
and maybe you can take us through. Yeah, I just
walk us through college or maybe walk us through like
senior year and the hype and we also want to
know a lot about like, yeah, there's all the good stuff, right,
but then the pressures that come with the hype of
(06:32):
you know, maybe after your All American game, like everything
that came after that. So maybe walk us through senior
year and then college.
Speaker 6 (06:40):
Yeah, so I actually we'll go back to junior year
because that's when kind of everything started. So started off.
I went to a private high school and then transferred
after my sophomore year. So it was kind of that
stage where sophomore year guys are starting to get on
the scene, starting to get recruited, and I'm over here,
like I need to play. Because I had an older
(07:01):
guy ahead of me that was Gatorade Player of the Year,
greatly on the team, and I was like, and he
was coming back for senior year, so I figured I
wanted to transfer closer to home. So I actually did
that in high school and went to the public school
right down the road. And then going into that year,
the first year really starting, I actually I got offered
(07:21):
by Kansas and then Wisconsin right away after. It was
Kansas before the season, Wisconsin was after like week two,
and then I went on a visit and I fell
in love with Wisconsin. I fell in love with the people,
the atmosphere, the city, everything that went along with it,
the history. So I actually committed there and then play
the rest of the year, and that was when kind
(07:43):
of the offers started. Rolling in and I think, gosh,
I don't even remember how many it was, but it
was it was pretty much at anybody not to toot
my own horn. But that's kind of the that's what
the spot we got to. And you get to that
that high rank status and as a young kid like that,
can that can do things subconsciously, do you mind where
(08:04):
you're like, oh, like I got some bag, like I'm
gonna go in as a freshman, I'm gonna start I'm
gonna be three and out like that mindset, so that
that kind of subconsciously probably creeped in. Like obviously with
my family being being so awesome and so supportive, I mean,
they kept it real with me and they were like, look,
you still got to work. So I always kind of
had that reminder through my family and uh, like I said,
(08:29):
two older sisters that were Hoopers played in college, so
they kind of went through the whole recruiting process. So
for me, junior was good, it was great, committed, and
then senior year came and I was just so ready
to get started at Wisconsin, so graduated early and ended
up going in there. There was the first time in
my life being on my own and I think that's
(08:49):
one thing that as soon as you have that initial switch,
like you might be ready for it, you might not,
and you won't know until you're directly in it. And me,
it was I was there and I was doing it,
but I wasn't mentally all in on what I was doing,
like I was. I was just kind of checking the boxes,
like did I watch film today? Yeah, I don't know
(09:09):
what I watched, but I watched it like subconsciously telling
myself like, I'm doing all the right stuff, when in reality, like,
the only way you truly grow is to see where
you're falling short, where your weaknesses are, and attacking them.
So for me, it was it was being on my
own and that tested me. I mean, and the second
you get to college, there's so many extra distractions. This
(09:31):
was before all the nil and all that stuff. So
I'm an old head now in college. Everybody's like, where
were days like that where there's no nil souh. But yeah,
for me, I mean, I mean that was rough. That
was the first time in my life where, like I was,
you're going through weeks and you just feel like you're
just passing by, And for me, it was like I
(09:52):
wanted to play. I didn't know. I didn't know what
I had to do to get on the field other
than what I was doing. So it was like there
was so much room to improve to get on the
field and be ready that I I was just going through.
I was going through the motions and trying to find
myself at the same time. So I'd say that was
probably that freshman year was rough. I mean it was
it was a fun season to be a part of,
(10:14):
but I mean, you're a freshman not playing, and you
had all these expectations and you think you should be
doing something like you shoul think you should be playing,
but in reality, you're not ready. So I'd say for
me that was that was the first challenge that kind
of kind of presented itself.
Speaker 5 (10:30):
And then I had a question for you regarding I
heard your story about how you created a spreadsheet with
your dad when you were choosing colleges, and it brought
me back to my I played college baseball and I
had three surgeries before I graduated high school. So the
book was out on me. It's like, no one's going
to invest in a lemon, right. I knew I wasn't
going to go like get drafted, but I wanted to
play college ball, and I ran with a noticeable limb,
(10:53):
and so nobody was like really, So I went to
junior college and then you know, had this really good
game and hit two home runs and one was a
walk off on like a showcase game they were doing
for sophomores. And then everything change that day and then
al a sudden, everybody wanted me in one one game.
And my dad always used to say, always play hard
because you never know who's watching, and it's like life right,
(11:14):
And that day everything changed. But then I had to
squeeze in like four recruiting trips in two weeks before
the signing deadline, and so I had like Nebraska, Texas Tech, Utah,
and Arizona State. And I remember when I signed everything
I wanted, the letters and like college coaches blowing you
up turned into a nightmare because when it came time
to sign.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
I didn't know what I wanted to do.
Speaker 5 (11:36):
And ultimately I feel like I made a choice that
wasn't my I don't know what I did, but it wasn't.
It was Nebraska, and it didn't. It didn't work out
like it was. I lived in Arizona and I didn't
realize like Arizona's Arizona and Nebraska's Nebraska, but you don't
realize until you go right. So I'm just curious for you,
what was that process?
Speaker 4 (11:57):
Did you know for sure? Was Wisconsin the fuck?
Speaker 6 (12:00):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (12:01):
And how did you choose Wisconsin.
Speaker 5 (12:02):
Over like Alabama, Georgia and all the big dogs?
Speaker 6 (12:06):
Yeah, So I've skipped right past that part, so I'm
glad you brought that back. So, I mean, for me,
I committed so early, and one thing my parents are
always like, if you put your word into something, you
put your trust, you put everything into it. You got
to stand by that. So that was one thing that
just going through that process. I mean, obviously, you got
(12:27):
Nick Saban rolling up to your high school, Urban Meyer
at the time it was Ohio State rolling in and
You're like, I want to go see these places, but
I already made a commitment to this place. So for me,
I feel like that was kind of tugging at me
the whole time. And and the hard part it was
I was like one of the first commits in my class,
So I'm out there recruiting all these guys and you
(12:48):
build those relationships and you're like, wait, we're in this together,
like this is bigger than just me and for me
in the end, like I had a few schools that
were coming in late and really trying to flip me,
and I did actually take a few officials. I went
down to Georgia, I went to Ohio State, and I
mean it was it was tempting, but in the end,
I mean I thought long and hard about it, and
(13:11):
my heart was in Wisconsin and I wanted to I
wanted to do something there that hadn't been done, and
that was kind of everything that was our class was
talking about, and that's what was pushing me to stick
to my work. So I think, I think in the end,
I'm even right now, I'm so thankful I went there
because it taught me again on the field, it didn't
(13:33):
work out the way I wanted or how it pictured it,
but it showed me who I am as a man
and who I want to be going forward. And it
taught me all that stuff that all the all those
hardships you go through, it it teaches you about yourself.
So yeah, I'm forever thankful.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
For going there, no doubt. Man, I'm I'm interested in wondering.
You know, you see how today how like hectic and crazy.
The whole transfer portal thing seems and it's kind of
like a business decision guy just you know, for their
own brand. Maybe you guys have a lot of different
reasons in they're entitled to that. But as you as
somebody that was like, Okay, I'm going into this thing,
(14:11):
I'm committed to this school, I'm committed to this program.
What was it like was it a little bit of
like just like a lot of different thoughts of like, man,
am I not a man of my word when it
came time to like transfer and make a decision to
go somewhere else, Like what led you to that process?
Speaker 3 (14:28):
And what was it like making that decision.
Speaker 6 (14:32):
Yeah, that's a great question. I think for me, it
was a tough choice. It was a really tough choice.
And I just felt like after that freshman year, after
I started playing for a while, I figured out, I
figured out my process how I approach everything, and I
just I needed something fresh and our coach got fired
(14:53):
and I was getting to the end of my career.
So for me, it was like, you get to that
point of your career, we only have one or two
years and you don't know who the coaches are coming
in the offense you're going to be running. So for me,
it was it was all about scheme in which scheme
fits me best? Is it something I don't know or
should I go look for something and weigh all my
options before I make a decision. So, I mean I
(15:16):
had I had great relationships out there. I mean I
have so many friends to this day that are up there.
So it was an easy decision and it was a
rough one. But I mean, in the end, there's points
and seasons of your life where I feel like you
have to be selfish and you have to you have
to think about what's best for you. I don't think
that's true all the time, but I think that there
(15:37):
are definitely points where you have to be true with
yourself on Okay, do I need to be selfish in
this or not? And I think when you get in
those personal settings, not really team settings, I think that's appropriate.
But in the end, I mean, I made the decision,
and it wasn't fun at the time, and you're sitting
home when your buddies aren't bull prep playing in a
(15:58):
bowl game, and you're you got eighteen days to figure
out where to go. So that was also another that
was also stressful time.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Yeah, man, I think I think you said it so well.
Being able to have the balance and knowing like when
it's right to choose yourself investing yourself and not maybe
be over extending yourself and saying, oh, well, it may
look bad.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
If I leave. People's opinions of me.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Might take a hit at Wisconsin, but it's like, Okay,
at the end of the day, I have wants and
nees and I have the right to fulfill those and
set myself up for the future. And you know what
I want to see and the way things that I
want to experience in my career. So I think the
way that you put that is is dope, man.
Speaker 6 (16:43):
Appreciate that.
Speaker 5 (16:45):
Yeah, I think it's I want I wanted to ask you,
Graham about the lowest point at Wisconsin. Darren and I
work and talk a lot on this podcast and have
been working together about quieting the noise and you know,
finding your center and not taking things personally and all
these things that that are really you know, we weren't
(17:06):
taught this stuff in school. And it also brings me
back to real quick. I'll come back to that point.
I had someone kind of talking about the nil process
and I and you know, I started to explain to
this person that they are learning so much more about life,
like applicable life in this little stint that they had
with Nil than anything they're going to learn in college.
(17:29):
And sorry if that's a knock on college, but that's
just facts, like they're going to learn a lot about
business and marketing and all of those things and who
to trust. So yeah, I just wanted to circle back
to that before I forgot and then yeah, maybe take
us through the lowest point and like how personal it
got for you and how you allowed the noise to
(17:49):
get to you.
Speaker 6 (17:50):
Yeah, I think that's that brought me to a point
that I completely didn't bring up, and that's that's COVID.
So for me, my first start was it was so
COVID hit right after the Rose Bowl and then we
off for what was it three four months of all
the COVID stuff. But anyway, we come back and there's
(18:11):
so much uncertainty, and that that uncertainty kind of got
to me a little bit of like I don't know
if we're playing, I need to be ready. I got
I'm gonna get my first start. So I mean, you
get especially in a situation like that in today's world
where everything's all it's all social media. That's how you
get your news, that's how you get everything. So you're
always on it. You're locked in, you're locked in your house,
(18:33):
just scrolling all day. So for me, it was that
was the first time where I felt like I was
letting social media dictate some of my thoughts and all that.
So play the first game and it was probably, I
mean my career Wisconsin, that was probably my best game.
So it's like twenty twenty for twenty one five touchdowns
(18:53):
and like you start your you start your career off
like that. So it's like bang, starting off hot. And
for that night, I mean, you're you're the man, and
everybody's talking about you. You're getting posted everywhere, and for me,
it was like, oh, like this is sweet, Like this
is everything I envisioned it, being like, oh, this is
this is the dream. And then go to sleep that night,
wake up the next day, test positive for COVID. So
(19:17):
at the time that was where it was. It was
like ten to fourteen days isolation. So I got pulled
out of my apartment, put in like a little dorm
off campus in the woods for fourteen days by myself.
So for me, that was that was the time where
after like the highest of highs, I feel like, just mentally,
(19:38):
I was at the lowest to lowest because I realized
that I was I was not I wasn't satisfied or
fulfilled with external things, and I thought that that was
what I wanted. And after going through that, I mean,
I feel like that was a turning point mentally for
me where I was like, look, I gotta I gotta
(19:58):
invest in myself, in my mental well being before I
can even like worry about that stuff. I gotta make
sure I'm good before I start doing all this. So
I'd say that COVID year was really it was probably
the biggest area of growth for me just mentally and
understanding the world I was in and how it was
different than high school. So I think that was that
(20:21):
was one thing of going from the highest to highs
to the lowest to lows that quick and in one day.
So for me, that was that was one of the
things that kind of shaped me into just thinking like, look,
I need to develop my mindset and develop my approach.
So that's such a yeah.
Speaker 5 (20:38):
Sorry, I was going to say, there's such a beautiful
lesson there, of the lesson of impermanence, like that moment
that you're describing. I feel like you're going to be
able to help so many people with that story of
writing the waves of life and like nothing's permanent and
sometimes it lasts one game. Sometimes it can last a
ridiculous career like Tom Brady, you know, and so you
(20:58):
never know, right, And so what a gift that you
got that. I know it didn't feel like it at
the time, but clearly it's like you're using it as
strength and you found a lot of growth through it.
Speaker 6 (21:07):
Oh yeah, yeah, I think it was big. And I mean,
I don't know how much you guys talk about faith
on here, but for me, the biggest thing was growing up.
We went to church, but I wasn't always going to
summer camp and the learning about that, so I didn't
really have a We had a foundation, but nothing that
(21:28):
I built on in my time. So for me, it
was going to college and not having that and trying
to figure out what it was to me. And i'd
say it up until shoot, probably after my sophomore year,
sophomore retro sophomore year at Wisconsin was when I really
dove into it, and I realized that there were so
many points in my life where I felt like I
(21:50):
felt like I needed I needed it, And looking back
at it, I mean, I feel like those were all
points where you get those little hidden messages where we're like,
all right, like this is a great time to relax faith,
and looking back at it, I mean, I wish I
would had that because I felt like that transition would
have happened. Quicker.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
I love to hear you talk about faith.
Speaker 5 (22:09):
Man.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
We ain't on here trying to hit people over the
head with it. But when somebody brings it up, man,
it it brightens me up. Because that's what when I
try to explain to people, like why I believe in God,
it's like, there are a lot of moments where it's like, man,
these things things are not going my way. I'd love
for it to be different. I don't know when it's
going to change. I don't know how it's going to change.
(22:30):
But when you're at that point, it's like, would you
rather believe that these things are going to change and
have faith and have a trust that they are, or
just sit here and continue to find the reasons as
to why it won't work or sit here and wallow
in why I'm here, how I got here, And it's like, nah,
Like that's like it took me getting brought to my
(22:51):
knees to really truly make that decision because I grew
up going to church, Baptist church in the South, and
church was a chore, you know, and having a relationship
with God was more of a transactional thing, like if
I did things, if I read the Bible, if I showed
up to yeah, churched on Wednesday night and Sunday night,
like that would give me a relationship a spiritual life.
It's like, no, it's really just my own walk through prayer, meditation.
(23:14):
How I feel connected is how I developed that. But
that was never really there for me until I got
brought to my knees from fdiction, being banned from the league,
like all these things, man, And it's like now I
look back and I'm like, I don't know how I
did it without faith. I don't know how I made
it without faith. And I was just waiting to crash,
ruminating on the negative, ruminating on why my life wasn't
(23:37):
anything even though I had a lot of those external things.
Speaker 6 (23:40):
Man.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
So I really appreciate you bringing faith up man and
speaking of faith, like, I'm sure choosing Florida, stepping into
a new environment and having an expectancy of that to
work out and be what you wanted it to be
took a level of faith taught to us about that transition.
Speaker 6 (23:58):
Yeah, I mean I kind of made a deal with myself,
And it was before once I made the decision to
come down here. I mean, just coming down and visiting,
I felt a presence of just the amount of people
that cared about the program better in it. Like that
was one thing where I was like, all right, the
second I get down there, like I'm investing in everybody
(24:20):
else and that will lead to me getting better as
a player person. So before I got down here, I mean,
that was one thing that I was like, that's a
non negotiable. Every day it's what I'm doing this for
somebody else, and I'm trying to trying to brighten somebody
else's day, like at least one or two people every day.
And for me, that was where you get down and
(24:43):
you're so used to a that's where the transport was weird,
because when you go to a school for what three
four years, I mean you learn, like you learn how
everything goes, you learn the off season, but for me,
it was all new, and my approach was, look, I'm
I'm investing in the people. I'm investing in in trying
to get a little bit better every day, and I'm
just gonna have fun doing it. So for me, that
(25:06):
brought me so much joy in the process, and like,
the relationships I've made in the past shoot eleven months
now have been just amazing. Like I feel like I've
known these people my whole life, and I feel like
that's one thing where if I were to talk to
anybody going to the portal, I'd say one piece of
(25:27):
advice would be that, like, invest in the people around you,
because it will be the most fun years of your life.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (25:35):
Big.
Speaker 5 (25:36):
I feel like I want to make sure that anybody
listening that is a parent, a high school athlete, aspiring athlete,
a college athlete, to like go grab your kids or
grab your parents and listen to this together because it's
so important. And I'm sitting here going this dude is
talking about service and like he found the hack at
(25:56):
twenty three and you know, Darren and I found it
through a very reckless, scary addiction. Found the hack to
lie life, which is service, but you found it, and
so I think it's important. I think some of these
questions that I want to continue to get into you
with is a way that you can help others and
help parents and understand the pressures.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
I don't know if there's anybody on the.
Speaker 5 (26:18):
College campus that would have met any more distractions than
the starting quarterback for the university. So like, can you
talk to me about what are like the priorities, your
non negotiables that keep you, like your mind right, your
mental health, your focus, meditation, whatever it is.
Speaker 6 (26:38):
Yeah, I mean, I think there's a lot of things,
and I think the biggest thing really for anybody is
being able to have a routine and a process and
be able to grow and adjust things and add things,
track things, but at least have a foundation of a process.
And for me, that starts my day off with a
(27:00):
morning routine. And I mean I've done the same thing
for the past eleven months, and I might have added
a few things to it, but I think the biggest
thing is having a foundation of a process and being
able to always have an open mind about adding new things,
whether that's daily devotional or prayer or reading the Bible,
(27:21):
or I got this little daily stoic book I'll open up.
But it's not always reading, Like for me, it's making
sure I'm drinking my water, eating the right things. Like
there's so many different things that add to just the
overall human experience that got you. Gotta dive into and
find that for you. But I think having a foundation
(27:43):
of process and just a few things every day doesn't
have to be one hundred things. But if it's three
things to do every day, like you gotta do them
every day because because that sets you up for success.
And like if it's making your bet, that's my that's
my first thing I do every morning. But it gives
you that mental mind frame like, look, I already started
the day doing one thing, so that's a win. So
(28:05):
that you just got to keep building on it. But
I think the biggest thing is having that no doubt.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Man, I mean, the routine is so important and I
don't want to let it pass by, Like how important,
how powerful it is your perspective coming into Florida, because
you could have easily had a mindset of all right,
I'm coming into this new opportunity, like I gotta get mine,
like I gotta eat. Like I was slided before. I
didn't get what I wanted, but now it's time to
get mine. And I've been in that place before. I
(28:33):
vividly remember I was in the practice squad in Baltimore
and I came back, got reinstated from being suspended, and
they drafted Mark Andrews, and Mark from like as a
rookie was like showing like he was going to be
what he is today and seeing him do that, get
those opportunities and take off, and I'm on the practice
squad and a lot of times my belief was like
if somebody else is eating, there's not enough, there's not
(28:54):
enough out there for me, Like and you know, not
wishing anything bad on somebody else, but it's like man
like being envious and like being like, well, why is
he this? And at that time, like God convicted in
my heart is like you got to you gotta support
this man, Like wanting to see other people succeed is
you know, an accelerator for you know, the abundance in
(29:15):
your life. Because it's really just a reflection of damn
if I don't if I'm critical of this other person,
I'm really just critical of myself at the end of
the day. So I think it is powerful that, you know,
especially you being a leader and like commanding the huddle
and having that mindset. That's that stuff is going to
bleed onto the guys on your team and they're going
to start thinking that same way. And that's how you know,
(29:36):
programs come together and start doing great things. And like
I said, it starts with those with those routines. Man,
then I want to know how you feel. How did
you feel as far as like the scheme fit and
everything like stepping in, Like how smooth of a process
was that for you to step in and really feel
like all right, like I'm I'm here, I can just
play football like the kid you splay football.
Speaker 6 (29:58):
Yeah, oh yeah, I think I think that was after
putting in the work. I mean for me, it was
the winner and I went in there and I was like,
all right, I got to learn this offense. And it
wasn't like as fast as possible. I was more like,
I'm going to give this everything. I got to learn
it because I need when springball hits, I need to
(30:19):
be ready to work with these guys on timing all
these different things that go into the preparation for the season.
I wanted to make sure I was ready to do that,
not just be like, all right, I got the offense
down and throw a hitch, can throw a seam Like No,
I want to know the ins and outs of everything.
So for me, I mean it was the winner was
a lot of work, like a lot of long days,
(30:42):
a lot of early mornings, but I knew in the
end that it would only benefit us as a team
if I could sacrifice that on the front end. So
for me, it was it was the work ahead of
that first spring where I mean, anytime you get a
new install it's like it's all just football in the end,
but there's so many ins and outs of it where
(31:03):
you got to know the intricate details of each play.
So for me it was I mean, I played a
lot of ball Wisconsin. I understood offensive scheme. But for me,
it was coming down here and learning kind of the
mind of coach and how he wants to call it.
And I mean, honestly, I love the offense and I
love how it gives me the freedom to It feels
(31:24):
like every play you get to make it right, whether
it's an RPO or a run check or a pass
check all these different things. So I've loved it.
Speaker 5 (31:34):
What do you think your mental strengths are that make
you the quarterback that you are. What's the mind stuff
that you feel like you're blessed with or have worked
on to get to this place.
Speaker 6 (31:47):
Yeah, I think I think the biggest thing is there's
I finally not finally, I mean i'd say last year,
my last year Wisconsin, I've finally just made the decision, like, look,
the only person that's gonna stop me is me. And
I had so much in early in my career. I
was listening to so much stuff on social media. I
(32:10):
like you said earlier, I mean I was. I was
all thinking I need to get mine and and that
wasn't the best thing for the team. So for me,
I made the decision that looked like I will not
be broken by somebody else. I will be broken if
I if I break myself if I get in my
own way, like but other than that, like I'm not
(32:30):
getting my own way. And I think that's that's one
thing that throughout the season, like you get you take
a big hit, like you're like, dang, I just want
to sit down a little bit. But like I always
had a reminder like no, you're not gonna break me,
like I'm gonna I might break a collar bone and
I'll be down, but that's me breaking myself, Like I
will not let people like break me, whether that's my
(32:54):
my mindset, like the competitor, I am, my confidence, all
these different things, like's my joy, Like I'll never let
somebody else ruined my day, Like I'm gonna do everything
I can to make sure they're having a good day
and then they have joy in their day. But I
will never let somebody take that away from me because
I feel like that's the only way to go about
(33:15):
life is to have joy and happiness and every day
that should be should be your approach every day.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Yeah, man, it's a powerful perspective to take with you. You know,
looks like you said, like hurting your collar bone in
this this past season, it could be very easy for
you to shift back into maybe a similar state of
like when things weren't working out at Wisconsin and all,
and being so quick to find the doubt in things,
or like we always say why things aren't working but
(33:42):
I can tell by the way just speaking the way
that you know, joke about hurting your collar bone that
it's like, this is just a bump in the road,
and like you said before, this is a necessary thing
for me because there's something to take from it. And
plus being in football, man, this is the NFL p
A also comes around said this is one hundred percent
injury rate, Like there's no way you're gonna escape it
sometimes and uh, I don't know if you're like me anyway,
(34:04):
but there are plenty of times where I've taken injury
as me being a failure, not necessarily like it just
being a natural part.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
Of the game.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
And because it's very easy for guys to drift into
that mindset because if I'm not in there, somebody's gonna
be coming from taking my spot. And if I'm not
in there, who am I at the end of the day.
And it's like, the way that you're going about it, man,
is what's going to keep the abundance flowing into your life,
no matter what you got to go through, no matter
what you got to experience. Man. Is it's a beautiful
(34:34):
thing to hear how calm and just how centered your
faith has you.
Speaker 6 (34:38):
You know, I will say something you just said that
I think is so big in our society today. Is doubt,
and whether that's external doubt, internal doubt. I think that's
one thing where being an older guy in the locker
room throughout my career, I mean, you see how that
affects people. And I feel like that's one thing that
(35:01):
if whenever I see somebody that's a young person, young
player that might not know the playbook, but they have
that little second of doubt, I'll go up to them
be like, look, man, like the only way to get
rid of that football doubt is to put in the work.
And if you can remove that doubt, that frees you
up to be the best version of yourself. And I
(35:22):
know that's one thing. It's a hard thing to do.
Like I'm not saying that's an easy thing to do
in football, and when you're in a team sense, it's
all about just football, Like, yeah, that's not easy, but
you can do it. But on a personal level, like
that takes a lot of mental reflection, and I think
that's one thing that that's big. That's big.
Speaker 5 (35:44):
I think doubt arises when you know, we break promises
that we make to ourselves. And Darren and I talk
about this all the time that the most self confident
people are the ones that keep the promises they make
to themselves.
Speaker 4 (35:54):
So it's you know, it's really just follow through.
Speaker 5 (35:57):
And I hear you saying the work, and someone might
be like, well, what's he talking.
Speaker 4 (36:00):
About the work? And it's it is that it's your commitments.
Speaker 5 (36:04):
It's the things and the goals and the practices and
the process and the morning routine. And you know, you're
you're the embodiment of somebody that is just like you've
got so much self confidence, you're embodying it, right, And
if you go back and we talk about your practices
and your routines and how structured you are, it's a
direct reflection on your consistency and your follow through. So
(36:27):
if you're a kid, if you're out there and you know,
you say you're going to spend ten more minutes throwing
the ball, hitting the ball, and you go you don't
go do it, you know that's only fucking with your confidence.
It because you said you were going to do something
and you didn't do it. If you're a parent and
you said you were going to do something and you
didn't and your kids involved, you're now modeling that same
thing to your children. So it's like, do the things
(36:51):
you say you're going to do, be impeccable with your word,
Read the four Agreements, memorize that whole book.
Speaker 6 (36:56):
Like it.
Speaker 4 (36:56):
It will set you free, you know.
Speaker 6 (36:59):
Oh, yeah, have you read the Four Agreements? I'm going
to a Yeah, I got to read that.
Speaker 4 (37:06):
It's Tom brad It's Tom Brady's Bible.
Speaker 5 (37:08):
So I'm sure if what I said didn't.
Speaker 4 (37:10):
Get you to read it, now you'll probably read it.
So yeah, dude, Well and we'll talk more.
Speaker 5 (37:14):
Darren and I talk a lot about it, and it's
gold Man and it's to me, Well, the four agreements
are be impeccable with your word, don't make assumptions, don't
take things personally, and always do your best. And those
sound simple, but they he it is a simple book,
but it'll blow your mind.
Speaker 3 (37:31):
Dude.
Speaker 4 (37:32):
It's going to help you, like arm you with some
more tools.
Speaker 6 (37:35):
I need to read that, and I'm going to add
something something you something you said, and I'm going to
take it back to what we talked about a little
bit earlier. But when I also feel like doubt and
and all that creeps in when you're focused on self production,
and like I think anybody that's listening to this, I
think the biggest thing. We already talked about it. But
(37:56):
when you have the mindset that I'm doing this for
somebody else, in that servant mindset, I think that's that's
what's giving me the most confident in the world because
I'm like, look, I'm doing everything I am for other people.
And yes, down the line, it will, it will, it
will come back to you. But that's that should not
be your focus. It should not be maximizing what I
(38:17):
got for me. I'm maximizing everything I got for my family,
for my team, for my close group around me, for
my buddies, like I'm doing and that makes those decisions
that much easier because it because it's bigger than you.
I think that's the that's the key to this whole thing,
the whole thing we call life. I think that's the key.
And when you said earlier, that's that's the thing that
(38:40):
gets me up every morning, gets me out of bed,
make my bed, get into my process because I'm like, look,
I got people depending on me, and.
Speaker 4 (38:50):
You have that right, that's too too much.
Speaker 5 (38:52):
That's given comes great responsibility, and I think you can
handle that.
Speaker 6 (38:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
I read a quote the other day is uh, in
this little devotional I have called in God's Care to
like a twelve step devotional.
Speaker 3 (39:06):
And there's this quote.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
It was talking about, you know, some of us take
our work seriously, and some of us take ourselves seriously
and said one is imperative and one is dangerous. And
just speaking to what you were talking about about service,
It's like getting outside of ourselves is so important because
if it's all about us, that's when you know, our
world gets smaller. That's when it's about It's about me,
(39:29):
It's about my outcomes, it's about how I feel. It's
about what I can get out of situations, as opposed
to it being you know, the work I'm doing, the
service I'm doing, Like, I take that seriously. I'm leaving.
I'm really truly making a legacy at that point. I'm
making lives better. I came, I'm coming into this world,
and I'm making it better by the way that I
carry myself, by the way that I you know, put
(39:52):
myself out into the world. And that's really the ultimate
legacy you could leave. I mean, I feel like when
we go, when we're done, like it's not going to
be like, man, I had twenty eight million dollars in
the old investment portfolio or all these cribs or these cars.
It's going to be like, nah, like how did how
did people? How did I make people feel?
Speaker 3 (40:11):
Like? How good on my relationships? You know?
Speaker 2 (40:15):
And it's like it's so easy to lose track of
those things during the day when that doubt creeps in
and you feel like you gotta get to the bag
or you gotta get that promotion, or when I get
these things, I'm going to be happy. And it's like, man,
we got the game backwards out here. So conversations like this, Man,
it's how we change that.
Speaker 6 (40:32):
Bro.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
It's how we bounce back. It's how we come back
to the lives that we want in the lives that
we deserve.
Speaker 3 (40:37):
Bro.
Speaker 6 (40:39):
Truth drop the mic on that one.
Speaker 5 (40:42):
You know, as you're saying that, I'm thinking about how
your whole life and as you're walking us through it,
you've created a system. And that's like when I tell
as a coach, I tell people like, when you set
a goal and don't you don't achieve that goal, it's
not because you're broken.
Speaker 4 (40:56):
It's because your system's broken.
Speaker 5 (40:58):
And I love hearing how dialed in your system is,
and it just has me thinking like, this is the
life if you want kind of that the hack to
life or the path.
Speaker 4 (41:07):
You need to.
Speaker 5 (41:08):
Figure out your system to be free, to be comfortable
in your own skin, figure out what your natural gifts
and talents are through that system, and then go serve
Like there's nothing else you need to do in life.
Like you can try to complicate it with external things
and all the stuff, but you know, it's fleeting.
Speaker 4 (41:30):
As a human. We've talked a lot about football.
Speaker 5 (41:32):
I'm just curious, like on a human level to get
to know you, Like, what do you love to do?
Do you have like interests and hobbies outside of outside
of football?
Speaker 6 (41:41):
Man, I love the golf in the off season. I'm
a big golfer. And I think it's like subconsciously it
trains you for a lot of different things. And as
a quarterback, I mean, every plays a new play in
football and in golf, every shots a new shot by
shank one into the water. You might throw an interception,
(42:03):
but it's all about it's all about the next step
and what you're going to do to respond. And I mean,
and it's just fun to play. I mean, let's just
throw it out there. But for me, it's it's like
the subconscious training of that where it's just so much fun.
So for me, that's not a big hobby guy, but
that that's a big hobby for me. It's pretty much
(42:25):
like my main thing in the off season.
Speaker 5 (42:28):
I got another book for you. It's called Zen Golf.
You'll love it, dude. It's like, I don't know if
you've heard of that one, but it's it's everything you're
talking about, like the lessons of life and how it's
tied to golf.
Speaker 4 (42:38):
On a personal level. Like what out there in the world.
I love this question.
Speaker 5 (42:42):
I ask it often of like what breaks your heart
more than anything in the world. What's like that one
thing when you see it where it's just like m
gets you.
Speaker 6 (42:51):
That's a wow, that's a good question, I'd say, Oh gosh,
I'd say when when someone's presented with an opportunity and
they're so like just in their own head where they
just can't grasp it because like I've I've been there before.
(43:16):
And that's one thing where, especially a young guy on
a team like down here, if I see somebody that's
that's got everything right in front of them, but they're
just trying, they're trying to figure it out like that.
That breaks my heart, you know, because I'm like, I
want to help you, because I've been there and I've
experienced that feeling where like I want to do this,
I'm putting everything I got into it, but like I'm
(43:37):
not doing the right thing for it. So i'd say,
when you, when you, when there's an opportunity that's presented
right there that someone's not taking full advantage of because
they're they're struggling with with trying to figure out how
to do it.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
I agree with that deeply, man Like, because I was
one of those people right through, you know, my addiction
and just my mental health being in shambles. I wasn't
able to show the world who I truly was and
what I was capable of. Like if you just look
at from football perspective, like before I got reinstated and
before my career kind of took off, I was just
kind of like a flash in the pan type of guy.
I would show like crazy flashes that practice when I
(44:12):
was in Baltimore, but it would never translate to the game.
It would be a lot of drops. It'd be like
or I would be suspended and things like that. So
I was one of those people and that breaks my
heart too. And to see, you know, other guys get
suspended or other guys have issues with substances, and it's
just like, I'm not somebody that's gonna come down on
I just want to know, like why, like how do
we get to this point, like and what's the solution
(44:33):
to get up out of it? Because every single one
of these guys have something good to offer their world,
good to offer their team, their community, their families, And
I'm with you there, bro, it's just like it's heartbreaking
to see somebody be you know, their mental health not
be an asset to them to step into the world
and really you know, take off with their purpose. Man,
(44:55):
Like I'm right there, wish.
Speaker 6 (44:56):
You Yeah, that's I think that's it.
Speaker 4 (45:00):
It's interesting.
Speaker 5 (45:00):
I've asked that question so many times and I've never
heard that answer. And as you're answering it, what I
heard you say is like what breaks your heart is
seeing people that aren't aware, like they're they're they're they're
in a trance, they're blind to like what's in front
of them, and so they're they're not aware. And I've
never heard that, but then it made me realize that's
what I do for a living is help make people
(45:22):
more aware. Actually that's what we're doing right now, Like
this is why we started the podcast, so that you know,
somebody listening right now that might be struggling an athlete
or a parent that can't understand what you know their
kids going through, Like this.
Speaker 4 (45:35):
Is why we're doing this.
Speaker 5 (45:37):
So yeah, man, it's it's your answers have blown my mind.
I'm like so inspired, and I think wisdom and knowledge
it's not measured in length and years, it's clearly measured
in depth. And you know, for somebody so young, I mean, dude,
I was.
Speaker 4 (45:50):
Such a mess at your age. So it's it's it's so.
Speaker 5 (45:52):
Cool to see and like regardless, you know, detaching from
the outcome of what you do, whatever you're gonna do,
you're gonna crush because you have the natural gifts. You
have the the mirror, the modeling as as as a kid,
your parents, the hard work. Like that's why you're doing
what you're doing, because you saw it. It was instilled
in you. And that loyalty like loyal to a fault
(46:13):
and writing it out at Wisconsin right, Like these are
beautiful qualities that are going to take you take you
far in life, man, and it's been an honor to
have you on.
Speaker 6 (46:21):
I appreciate that this has been This has been dope.
I don't get a lot of a lot of time
to talk about this like on a on a normal basis,
So I think this is a is a dope idea.
I think, you guys, this seems gonna take off. It's
unique because like everybody's got a story and it's just
a matter of getting it out there. That's big, no doubt.
Speaker 3 (46:42):
Man.
Speaker 2 (46:43):
Like you said, we just want to change the quality
of conversations that people have with each other, man, because
you know, I feel like there's nothing wrong with talking
about what happened in the game, and you know, the
dude being off side for Kansas City and like stuff
like that. Like you know that that stuff that we enjoy.
But at the same time, like as men, as women,
as just brothers and sisters in this world. You know,
like we got to have these conversations where we can
(47:05):
get things off our chest if we're struggling or just
you know, so we can get these things out of
us so we can go back into our world and
you know, do what we do and just be ourselves.
Speaker 6 (47:15):
Man.
Speaker 3 (47:16):
So I appreciate you wanting.
Speaker 2 (47:17):
To come on here, sharing your story, being real, being vulnerable,
man like this is dope stuff.
Speaker 3 (47:22):
Man.
Speaker 2 (47:23):
We wish you nothing but peace in your mind and
your heart and success and everything that you touch. Man,
as you go forward, bro be we'll be tuned in
and uh, we'll just be locked in root for you.
Speaker 6 (47:32):
Bro right back at you, guys. Everything you just said,
it's gonna I'm gonna keep looking. I'm gonna keep listening
to these things.
Speaker 5 (47:40):
Yes, sir, well man, thank you so much for coming.
Speaker 4 (47:42):
And we're out of here, all right.
Speaker 6 (47:44):
Appreciate y'all.
Speaker 3 (47:45):
Peace, boy, that was so good.
Speaker 1 (47:55):
Comeback Stories is a production of Inflection Network and iHeartRadio.
For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Comeback Stories is a production I've Inflectioned Network and iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Welcome back, everyone to another episode of Comeback Stories. I'm
one of your co hosts, Darren Waller, here for another
episode with my guy, my brother, Donnie Starkins.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Donnie, how we doing today? Man?
Speaker 4 (00:24):
Doing great?
Speaker 5 (00:25):
Man, I'm always excited on we record, typically on Tuesdays,
I get hyped up for this because one I get
to see you and two we get to drop into
some some meaningful conversations.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
And I'm hyped for today.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
No doubt.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Man, I'm super excited about today's guest. You may have
seen him, know him from being under center down there
in the swamp, but we're excited to dive into this
man's story as a human being, things that he's faced
and overcame in his life. Please welcome my man, Graham
merch the show.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Graham.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
How we doing?
Speaker 6 (00:54):
And I'm doing great. I'm blessed so looking forward to
this man. I've seen some clips, so I'm fired up
to dive into it a little bit.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Yes, sir, man, blessed to have you. We love to
start from the very beginning. People see where you're at
now and see you're on TV playing in big games.
But what was life like growing up for you just
as a kid.
Speaker 6 (01:12):
Yeah, I mean, so I I got the hat on
right now, kind of fitting. But I'm from a city
right outside of Kansas City called Overland Park. But yeah,
I grew up with a really close family. Two older
sisters both were both were hoopers. I wanted to be
a hooper, but didn't really work out for me. Wasn't
that athletic, so I stuck with playing quarterback. But really
(01:34):
close family. They're all my best friends, talk to them
every day. So I mean, great upbringing in two amazing parents.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
No doubt.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Man, how you said I talked about football. How early
did playing football come into the picture for you?
Speaker 6 (01:49):
Man, I'd say my earliest memory obviously grew up to
play flag football and all this stuff. But for me,
it was the moment where I found out I really
loved it. Was when I was going to my sister's
basketball tournaments and I was actually like throwing the ball
around at halftime instead of shooting. So I was like,
probably means something, I probably really liked this, and then
(02:12):
I mean just got obsessed with it. I still played basketball,
still played baseball a little bit, so but man, I
always loved football, So that was that was deep down
something that I always leaned into any chance I had,
whether it was in the neighborhood or watching TV, watching
guys play, that was all about ball.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Man.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
I feel you.
Speaker 6 (02:33):
Man.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
My mom always tells a story about when I was young,
like I'd be playing football, or it'd be basketball season,
baseball season. I tried tennis for a little bit, but
no matter what it was, what uniform I was wearing,
I'd be running around the house with a football or
like sleeping with sleeping with the football.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 6 (02:49):
So, uh, nerfball, a little squishy nerfball, run around everywhere
with that thing exactly.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Never could get enough. But I want to ask you
a question that we always ask like was there anything
from your childhood that was maybe painful or confusing or
affected the way you.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
Looked at life?
Speaker 2 (03:06):
And I asked that because for me, growing up, I
felt very confused as far as maybe like finding my identity.
I always felt like a strange kid. I was very sensitive,
just felt like nothing that I did really fit in
and I kind of got rejected for it, kind of
made fun of for it, and I kind of dove
into football. I was like, this is my way to
prove myself, for me to be accepted in society. Was
(03:28):
there anything growing up for you that may have impacted
your perspective in that kind of way.
Speaker 6 (03:33):
Yeah, I mean, I'm gonna go a different same topic,
but a different way of twisting it. I'd say growing up,
I didn't really have any hardships. I mean, my parents
did a great job of providing for me and working
hard for our family, which I thoroughly appreciate. So for me,
it was it was actually going through not a ton
of hardships and then getting into the older years of
(03:54):
my life where I started hitting those and then then
you run into what you just talked about about finding
your true identity, your values, what makes you go, makes
you pick. So for me, it was it was growing
up and like I was, I was blessed to have
a great family, great foundation, a great household, and I
think that down the road that was one thing that
(04:16):
I mean, you don't wish hardship on yourself, but I
think it's one thing to realize that that's in order
to get to where you want to go, that's necessary,
and you got it. You got to dive into that
when you get when you get opportunities like that. So
for me, i'd say that kind of came later down
the road after not really having a lot in my childhood.
You're always you're loved, everybody's always surrounding you and and
(04:40):
supporting you, and then when you get on your own,
that really tests that that foundation and your values. So
for me, it was later down the road.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
It's a very wise thing for you to say. I mean,
I know when I was, I mean, how old are you?
Speaker 6 (04:55):
Just turned twenty three? Man? So I'm getting old in
my in my college years.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Yeah, I mean looking back to when I was twenty three,
you would never hear the words come out of my
mouth like adversity is something that I need. Adversity is
something that I welcome or I see as necessary for
my growth. And I think that's powerful because there's a
lot of young guys in your position that may be
going through things that you're going through, asking why is
(05:19):
this happening? Like how did I get here? Why are
things not going my way? And just because it may
be a season of things not going their way, they
may see it as just life totally not going their way.
So I think that's that's really dope.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
And Donnie and I know you got something for that.
Speaker 5 (05:36):
Yeah, I'm chomping at the bid always, but I mean
it's graam. So I think I know like one city
and it's Overland Park. Would be Kansas, Right, there's like
one city I know in Kansas and it's Overland Park.
Because one of my friends and clients, Tyron Matthew, live
in Overland Park, and I would go out and travel
and do one on one stuff with them all the time,
(05:57):
and I'd fly in and fly out the same day.
But it was Overland Park was the city I was in. Yeah,
that's cool.
Speaker 6 (06:04):
Best barbecue in the country. Man, Oh, it is no debate.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
I'm curious for you.
Speaker 5 (06:10):
Okay, So not a lot of childhood shit, like, not
a lot of hardship, but obviously it came in college
and maybe you can take us through. Yeah, I just
walk us through college or maybe walk us through like
senior year and the hype and we also want to
know a lot about like, yeah, there's all the good stuff, right,
but then the pressures that come with the hype of
(06:32):
you know, maybe after your All American game, like everything
that came after that. So maybe walk us through senior
year and then college.
Speaker 6 (06:40):
Yeah, so I actually we'll go back to junior year
because that's when kind of everything started. So started off.
I went to a private high school and then transferred
after my sophomore year. So it was kind of that
stage where sophomore year guys are starting to get on
the scene, starting to get recruited, and I'm over here,
like I need to play. Because I had an older
(07:01):
guy ahead of me that was Gatorade Player of the Year,
greatly on the team, and I was like, and he
was coming back for senior year, so I figured I
wanted to transfer closer to home. So I actually did
that in high school and went to the public school
right down the road. And then going into that year,
the first year really starting, I actually I got offered
(07:21):
by Kansas and then Wisconsin right away after. It was
Kansas before the season, Wisconsin was after like week two,
and then I went on a visit and I fell
in love with Wisconsin. I fell in love with the people,
the atmosphere, the city, everything that went along with it,
the history. So I actually committed there and then play
the rest of the year, and that was when kind
(07:43):
of the offers started. Rolling in and I think, gosh,
I don't even remember how many it was, but it
was it was pretty much at anybody not to toot
my own horn. But that's kind of the that's what
the spot we got to. And you get to that
that high rank status and as a young kid like that,
can that can do things subconsciously, do you mind where
(08:04):
you're like, oh, like I got some bag, like I'm
gonna go in as a freshman, I'm gonna start I'm
gonna be three and out like that mindset, so that
that kind of subconsciously probably creeped in. Like obviously with
my family being being so awesome and so supportive, I mean,
they kept it real with me and they were like, look,
you still got to work. So I always kind of
had that reminder through my family and uh, like I said,
(08:29):
two older sisters that were Hoopers played in college, so
they kind of went through the whole recruiting process. So
for me, junior was good, it was great, committed, and
then senior year came and I was just so ready
to get started at Wisconsin, so graduated early and ended
up going in there. There was the first time in
my life being on my own and I think that's
(08:49):
one thing that as soon as you have that initial switch,
like you might be ready for it, you might not,
and you won't know until you're directly in it. And me,
it was I was there and I was doing it,
but I wasn't mentally all in on what I was doing,
like I was. I was just kind of checking the boxes,
like did I watch film today? Yeah, I don't know
(09:09):
what I watched, but I watched it like subconsciously telling
myself like, I'm doing all the right stuff, when in reality, like,
the only way you truly grow is to see where
you're falling short, where your weaknesses are, and attacking them.
So for me, it was it was being on my
own and that tested me. I mean, and the second
you get to college, there's so many extra distractions. This
(09:31):
was before all the nil and all that stuff. So
I'm an old head now in college. Everybody's like, where
were days like that where there's no nil souh. But yeah,
for me, I mean, I mean that was rough. That
was the first time in my life where, like I was,
you're going through weeks and you just feel like you're
just passing by, And for me, it was like I
(09:52):
wanted to play. I didn't know. I didn't know what
I had to do to get on the field other
than what I was doing. So it was like there
was so much room to improve to get on the
field and be ready that I I was just going through.
I was going through the motions and trying to find
myself at the same time. So I'd say that was
probably that freshman year was rough. I mean it was
it was a fun season to be a part of,
(10:14):
but I mean, you're a freshman not playing, and you
had all these expectations and you think you should be
doing something like you shoul think you should be playing,
but in reality, you're not ready. So I'd say for
me that was that was the first challenge that kind
of kind of presented itself.
Speaker 5 (10:30):
And then I had a question for you regarding I
heard your story about how you created a spreadsheet with
your dad when you were choosing colleges, and it brought
me back to my I played college baseball and I
had three surgeries before I graduated high school. So the
book was out on me. It's like, no one's going
to invest in a lemon, right. I knew I wasn't
going to go like get drafted, but I wanted to
play college ball, and I ran with a noticeable limb,
(10:53):
and so nobody was like really, So I went to
junior college and then you know, had this really good
game and hit two home runs and one was a
walk off on like a showcase game they were doing
for sophomores. And then everything change that day and then
al a sudden, everybody wanted me in one one game.
And my dad always used to say, always play hard
because you never know who's watching, and it's like life right,
(11:14):
And that day everything changed. But then I had to
squeeze in like four recruiting trips in two weeks before
the signing deadline, and so I had like Nebraska, Texas Tech, Utah,
and Arizona State. And I remember when I signed everything
I wanted, the letters and like college coaches blowing you
up turned into a nightmare because when it came time
to sign.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
I didn't know what I wanted to do.
Speaker 5 (11:36):
And ultimately I feel like I made a choice that
wasn't my I don't know what I did, but it wasn't.
It was Nebraska, and it didn't. It didn't work out
like it was. I lived in Arizona and I didn't
realize like Arizona's Arizona and Nebraska's Nebraska, but you don't
realize until you go right. So I'm just curious for you,
what was that process?
Speaker 4 (11:57):
Did you know for sure? Was Wisconsin the fuck?
Speaker 6 (12:00):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (12:01):
And how did you choose Wisconsin.
Speaker 5 (12:02):
Over like Alabama, Georgia and all the big dogs?
Speaker 6 (12:06):
Yeah, So I've skipped right past that part, so I'm
glad you brought that back. So, I mean, for me,
I committed so early, and one thing my parents are
always like, if you put your word into something, you
put your trust, you put everything into it. You got
to stand by that. So that was one thing that
just going through that process. I mean, obviously, you got
(12:27):
Nick Saban rolling up to your high school, Urban Meyer
at the time it was Ohio State rolling in and
You're like, I want to go see these places, but
I already made a commitment to this place. So for me,
I feel like that was kind of tugging at me
the whole time. And and the hard part it was
I was like one of the first commits in my class,
So I'm out there recruiting all these guys and you
(12:48):
build those relationships and you're like, wait, we're in this together,
like this is bigger than just me and for me
in the end, like I had a few schools that
were coming in late and really trying to flip me,
and I did actually take a few officials. I went
down to Georgia, I went to Ohio State, and I
mean it was it was tempting, but in the end,
I mean I thought long and hard about it, and
(13:11):
my heart was in Wisconsin and I wanted to I
wanted to do something there that hadn't been done, and
that was kind of everything that was our class was
talking about, and that's what was pushing me to stick
to my work. So I think, I think in the end,
I'm even right now, I'm so thankful I went there
because it taught me again on the field, it didn't
(13:33):
work out the way I wanted or how it pictured it,
but it showed me who I am as a man
and who I want to be going forward. And it
taught me all that stuff that all the all those
hardships you go through, it it teaches you about yourself.
So yeah, I'm forever thankful.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
For going there, no doubt. Man, I'm I'm interested in wondering.
You know, you see how today how like hectic and crazy.
The whole transfer portal thing seems and it's kind of
like a business decision guy just you know, for their
own brand. Maybe you guys have a lot of different
reasons in they're entitled to that. But as you as
somebody that was like, Okay, I'm going into this thing,
(14:11):
I'm committed to this school, I'm committed to this program.
What was it like was it a little bit of
like just like a lot of different thoughts of like, man,
am I not a man of my word when it
came time to like transfer and make a decision to
go somewhere else, Like what led you to that process?
Speaker 3 (14:28):
And what was it like making that decision.
Speaker 6 (14:32):
Yeah, that's a great question. I think for me, it
was a tough choice. It was a really tough choice.
And I just felt like after that freshman year, after
I started playing for a while, I figured out, I
figured out my process how I approach everything, and I
just I needed something fresh and our coach got fired
(14:53):
and I was getting to the end of my career.
So for me, it was like, you get to that
point of your career, we only have one or two
years and you don't know who the coaches are coming
in the offense you're going to be running. So for me,
it was it was all about scheme in which scheme
fits me best? Is it something I don't know or
should I go look for something and weigh all my
options before I make a decision. So, I mean I
(15:16):
had I had great relationships out there. I mean I
have so many friends to this day that are up there.
So it was an easy decision and it was a
rough one. But I mean, in the end, there's points
and seasons of your life where I feel like you
have to be selfish and you have to you have
to think about what's best for you. I don't think
that's true all the time, but I think that there
(15:37):
are definitely points where you have to be true with
yourself on Okay, do I need to be selfish in
this or not? And I think when you get in
those personal settings, not really team settings, I think that's appropriate.
But in the end, I mean, I made the decision,
and it wasn't fun at the time, and you're sitting
home when your buddies aren't bull prep playing in a
(15:58):
bowl game, and you're you got eighteen days to figure
out where to go. So that was also another that
was also stressful time.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Yeah, man, I think I think you said it so well.
Being able to have the balance and knowing like when
it's right to choose yourself investing yourself and not maybe
be over extending yourself and saying, oh, well, it may
look bad.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
If I leave. People's opinions of me.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Might take a hit at Wisconsin, but it's like, Okay,
at the end of the day, I have wants and
nees and I have the right to fulfill those and
set myself up for the future. And you know what
I want to see and the way things that I
want to experience in my career. So I think the
way that you put that is is dope, man.
Speaker 6 (16:43):
Appreciate that.
Speaker 5 (16:45):
Yeah, I think it's I want I wanted to ask you,
Graham about the lowest point at Wisconsin. Darren and I
work and talk a lot on this podcast and have
been working together about quieting the noise and you know,
finding your center and not taking things personally and all
these things that that are really you know, we weren't
(17:06):
taught this stuff in school. And it also brings me
back to real quick. I'll come back to that point.
I had someone kind of talking about the nil process
and I and you know, I started to explain to
this person that they are learning so much more about life,
like applicable life in this little stint that they had
with Nil than anything they're going to learn in college.
(17:29):
And sorry if that's a knock on college, but that's
just facts, like they're going to learn a lot about
business and marketing and all of those things and who
to trust. So yeah, I just wanted to circle back
to that before I forgot and then yeah, maybe take
us through the lowest point and like how personal it
got for you and how you allowed the noise to
(17:49):
get to you.
Speaker 6 (17:50):
Yeah, I think that's that brought me to a point
that I completely didn't bring up, and that's that's COVID.
So for me, my first start was it was so
COVID hit right after the Rose Bowl and then we
off for what was it three four months of all
the COVID stuff. But anyway, we come back and there's
(18:11):
so much uncertainty, and that that uncertainty kind of got
to me a little bit of like I don't know
if we're playing, I need to be ready. I got
I'm gonna get my first start. So I mean, you
get especially in a situation like that in today's world
where everything's all it's all social media. That's how you
get your news, that's how you get everything. So you're
always on it. You're locked in, you're locked in your house,
(18:33):
just scrolling all day. So for me, it was that
was the first time where I felt like I was
letting social media dictate some of my thoughts and all that.
So play the first game and it was probably, I
mean my career Wisconsin, that was probably my best game.
So it's like twenty twenty for twenty one five touchdowns
(18:53):
and like you start your you start your career off
like that. So it's like bang, starting off hot. And
for that night, I mean, you're you're the man, and
everybody's talking about you. You're getting posted everywhere, and for me,
it was like, oh, like this is sweet, Like this
is everything I envisioned it, being like, oh, this is
this is the dream. And then go to sleep that night,
wake up the next day, test positive for COVID. So
(19:17):
at the time that was where it was. It was
like ten to fourteen days isolation. So I got pulled
out of my apartment, put in like a little dorm
off campus in the woods for fourteen days by myself.
So for me, that was that was the time where
after like the highest of highs, I feel like, just mentally,
(19:38):
I was at the lowest to lowest because I realized
that I was I was not I wasn't satisfied or
fulfilled with external things, and I thought that that was
what I wanted. And after going through that, I mean,
I feel like that was a turning point mentally for
me where I was like, look, I gotta I gotta
(19:58):
invest in myself, in my mental well being before I
can even like worry about that stuff. I gotta make
sure I'm good before I start doing all this. So
I'd say that COVID year was really it was probably
the biggest area of growth for me just mentally and
understanding the world I was in and how it was
different than high school. So I think that was that
(20:21):
was one thing of going from the highest to highs
to the lowest to lows that quick and in one day.
So for me, that was that was one of the
things that kind of shaped me into just thinking like, look,
I need to develop my mindset and develop my approach.
So that's such a yeah.
Speaker 5 (20:38):
Sorry, I was going to say, there's such a beautiful
lesson there, of the lesson of impermanence, like that moment
that you're describing. I feel like you're going to be
able to help so many people with that story of
writing the waves of life and like nothing's permanent and
sometimes it lasts one game. Sometimes it can last a
ridiculous career like Tom Brady, you know, and so you
(20:58):
never know, right, And so what a gift that you
got that. I know it didn't feel like it at
the time, but clearly it's like you're using it as
strength and you found a lot of growth through it.
Speaker 6 (21:07):
Oh yeah, yeah, I think it was big. And I mean,
I don't know how much you guys talk about faith
on here, but for me, the biggest thing was growing up.
We went to church, but I wasn't always going to
summer camp and the learning about that, so I didn't
really have a We had a foundation, but nothing that
(21:28):
I built on in my time. So for me, it
was going to college and not having that and trying
to figure out what it was to me. And i'd
say it up until shoot, probably after my sophomore year,
sophomore retro sophomore year at Wisconsin was when I really
dove into it, and I realized that there were so
many points in my life where I felt like I
(21:50):
felt like I needed I needed it, And looking back
at it, I mean, I feel like those were all
points where you get those little hidden messages where we're like,
all right, like this is a great time to relax faith,
and looking back at it, I mean, I wish I
would had that because I felt like that transition would
have happened. Quicker.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
I love to hear you talk about faith.
Speaker 5 (22:09):
Man.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
We ain't on here trying to hit people over the
head with it. But when somebody brings it up, man,
it it brightens me up. Because that's what when I
try to explain to people, like why I believe in God,
it's like, there are a lot of moments where it's like, man,
these things things are not going my way. I'd love
for it to be different. I don't know when it's
going to change. I don't know how it's going to change.
(22:30):
But when you're at that point, it's like, would you
rather believe that these things are going to change and
have faith and have a trust that they are, or
just sit here and continue to find the reasons as
to why it won't work or sit here and wallow
in why I'm here, how I got here, And it's like, nah,
Like that's like it took me getting brought to my
(22:51):
knees to really truly make that decision because I grew
up going to church, Baptist church in the South, and
church was a chore, you know, and having a relationship
with God was more of a transactional thing, like if
I did things, if I read the Bible, if I showed
up to yeah, churched on Wednesday night and Sunday night,
like that would give me a relationship a spiritual life.
It's like, no, it's really just my own walk through prayer, meditation.
(23:14):
How I feel connected is how I developed that. But
that was never really there for me until I got
brought to my knees from fdiction, being banned from the league,
like all these things, man, And it's like now I
look back and I'm like, I don't know how I
did it without faith. I don't know how I made
it without faith. And I was just waiting to crash,
ruminating on the negative, ruminating on why my life wasn't
(23:37):
anything even though I had a lot of those external things.
Speaker 6 (23:40):
Man.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
So I really appreciate you bringing faith up man and
speaking of faith, like, I'm sure choosing Florida, stepping into
a new environment and having an expectancy of that to
work out and be what you wanted it to be
took a level of faith taught to us about that transition.
Speaker 6 (23:58):
Yeah, I mean I kind of made a deal with myself,
And it was before once I made the decision to
come down here. I mean, just coming down and visiting,
I felt a presence of just the amount of people
that cared about the program better in it. Like that
was one thing where I was like, all right, the
second I get down there, like I'm investing in everybody
(24:20):
else and that will lead to me getting better as
a player person. So before I got down here, I mean,
that was one thing that I was like, that's a
non negotiable. Every day it's what I'm doing this for
somebody else, and I'm trying to trying to brighten somebody
else's day, like at least one or two people every day.
And for me, that was where you get down and
(24:43):
you're so used to a that's where the transport was weird,
because when you go to a school for what three
four years, I mean you learn, like you learn how
everything goes, you learn the off season, but for me,
it was all new, and my approach was, look, I'm
I'm investing in the people. I'm investing in in trying
to get a little bit better every day, and I'm
just gonna have fun doing it. So for me, that
(25:06):
brought me so much joy in the process, and like,
the relationships I've made in the past shoot eleven months
now have been just amazing. Like I feel like I've
known these people my whole life, and I feel like
that's one thing where if I were to talk to
anybody going to the portal, I'd say one piece of
(25:27):
advice would be that, like, invest in the people around you,
because it will be the most fun years of your life.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (25:35):
Big.
Speaker 5 (25:36):
I feel like I want to make sure that anybody
listening that is a parent, a high school athlete, aspiring athlete,
a college athlete, to like go grab your kids or
grab your parents and listen to this together because it's
so important. And I'm sitting here going this dude is
talking about service and like he found the hack at
(25:56):
twenty three and you know, Darren and I found it
through a very reckless, scary addiction. Found the hack to
lie life, which is service, but you found it, and
so I think it's important. I think some of these
questions that I want to continue to get into you
with is a way that you can help others and
help parents and understand the pressures.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
I don't know if there's anybody on the.
Speaker 5 (26:18):
College campus that would have met any more distractions than
the starting quarterback for the university. So like, can you
talk to me about what are like the priorities, your
non negotiables that keep you, like your mind right, your
mental health, your focus, meditation, whatever it is.
Speaker 6 (26:38):
Yeah, I mean, I think there's a lot of things,
and I think the biggest thing really for anybody is
being able to have a routine and a process and
be able to grow and adjust things and add things,
track things, but at least have a foundation of a process.
And for me, that starts my day off with a
(27:00):
morning routine. And I mean I've done the same thing
for the past eleven months, and I might have added
a few things to it, but I think the biggest
thing is having a foundation of a process and being
able to always have an open mind about adding new things,
whether that's daily devotional or prayer or reading the Bible,
(27:21):
or I got this little daily stoic book I'll open up.
But it's not always reading, Like for me, it's making
sure I'm drinking my water, eating the right things. Like
there's so many different things that add to just the
overall human experience that got you. Gotta dive into and
find that for you. But I think having a foundation
(27:43):
of process and just a few things every day doesn't
have to be one hundred things. But if it's three
things to do every day, like you gotta do them
every day because because that sets you up for success.
And like if it's making your bet, that's my that's
my first thing I do every morning. But it gives
you that mental mind frame like, look, I already started
the day doing one thing, so that's a win. So
(28:05):
that you just got to keep building on it. But
I think the biggest thing is having that no doubt.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Man, I mean, the routine is so important and I
don't want to let it pass by, Like how important,
how powerful it is your perspective coming into Florida, because
you could have easily had a mindset of all right,
I'm coming into this new opportunity, like I gotta get mine,
like I gotta eat. Like I was slided before. I
didn't get what I wanted, but now it's time to
get mine. And I've been in that place before. I
(28:33):
vividly remember I was in the practice squad in Baltimore
and I came back, got reinstated from being suspended, and
they drafted Mark Andrews, and Mark from like as a
rookie was like showing like he was going to be
what he is today and seeing him do that, get
those opportunities and take off, and I'm on the practice
squad and a lot of times my belief was like
if somebody else is eating, there's not enough, there's not
(28:54):
enough out there for me, Like and you know, not
wishing anything bad on somebody else, but it's like man
like being envious and like being like, well, why is
he this? And at that time, like God convicted in
my heart is like you got to you gotta support
this man, Like wanting to see other people succeed is
you know, an accelerator for you know, the abundance in
(29:15):
your life. Because it's really just a reflection of damn
if I don't if I'm critical of this other person,
I'm really just critical of myself at the end of
the day. So I think it is powerful that, you know,
especially you being a leader and like commanding the huddle
and having that mindset. That's that stuff is going to
bleed onto the guys on your team and they're going
to start thinking that same way. And that's how you know,
(29:36):
programs come together and start doing great things. And like
I said, it starts with those with those routines. Man,
then I want to know how you feel. How did
you feel as far as like the scheme fit and
everything like stepping in, Like how smooth of a process
was that for you to step in and really feel
like all right, like I'm I'm here, I can just
play football like the kid you splay football.
Speaker 6 (29:58):
Yeah, oh yeah, I think I think that was after
putting in the work. I mean for me, it was
the winner and I went in there and I was like,
all right, I got to learn this offense. And it
wasn't like as fast as possible. I was more like,
I'm going to give this everything. I got to learn
it because I need when springball hits, I need to
(30:19):
be ready to work with these guys on timing all
these different things that go into the preparation for the season.
I wanted to make sure I was ready to do that,
not just be like, all right, I got the offense
down and throw a hitch, can throw a seam Like No,
I want to know the ins and outs of everything.
So for me, I mean it was the winner was
a lot of work, like a lot of long days,
(30:42):
a lot of early mornings, but I knew in the
end that it would only benefit us as a team
if I could sacrifice that on the front end. So
for me, it was it was the work ahead of
that first spring where I mean, anytime you get a
new install it's like it's all just football in the end,
but there's so many ins and outs of it where
(31:03):
you got to know the intricate details of each play.
So for me it was I mean, I played a
lot of ball Wisconsin. I understood offensive scheme. But for me,
it was coming down here and learning kind of the
mind of coach and how he wants to call it.
And I mean, honestly, I love the offense and I
love how it gives me the freedom to It feels
(31:24):
like every play you get to make it right, whether
it's an RPO or a run check or a pass
check all these different things. So I've loved it.
Speaker 5 (31:34):
What do you think your mental strengths are that make
you the quarterback that you are. What's the mind stuff
that you feel like you're blessed with or have worked
on to get to this place.
Speaker 6 (31:47):
Yeah, I think I think the biggest thing is there's
I finally not finally, I mean i'd say last year,
my last year Wisconsin, I've finally just made the decision, like, look,
the only person that's gonna stop me is me. And
I had so much in early in my career. I
was listening to so much stuff on social media. I
(32:10):
like you said earlier, I mean I was. I was
all thinking I need to get mine and and that
wasn't the best thing for the team. So for me,
I made the decision that looked like I will not
be broken by somebody else. I will be broken if
I if I break myself if I get in my
own way, like but other than that, like I'm not
(32:30):
getting my own way. And I think that's that's one
thing that throughout the season, like you get you take
a big hit, like you're like, dang, I just want
to sit down a little bit. But like I always
had a reminder like no, you're not gonna break me,
like I'm gonna I might break a collar bone and
I'll be down, but that's me breaking myself, Like I
will not let people like break me, whether that's my
(32:54):
my mindset, like the competitor, I am, my confidence, all
these different things, like's my joy, Like I'll never let
somebody else ruined my day, Like I'm gonna do everything
I can to make sure they're having a good day
and then they have joy in their day. But I
will never let somebody take that away from me because
I feel like that's the only way to go about
(33:15):
life is to have joy and happiness and every day
that should be should be your approach every day.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Yeah, man, it's a powerful perspective to take with you. You know,
looks like you said, like hurting your collar bone in
this this past season, it could be very easy for
you to shift back into maybe a similar state of
like when things weren't working out at Wisconsin and all,
and being so quick to find the doubt in things,
or like we always say why things aren't working but
(33:42):
I can tell by the way just speaking the way
that you know, joke about hurting your collar bone that
it's like, this is just a bump in the road,
and like you said before, this is a necessary thing
for me because there's something to take from it. And
plus being in football, man, this is the NFL p
A also comes around said this is one hundred percent
injury rate, Like there's no way you're gonna escape it
sometimes and uh, I don't know if you're like me anyway,
(34:04):
but there are plenty of times where I've taken injury
as me being a failure, not necessarily like it just
being a natural part.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
Of the game.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
And because it's very easy for guys to drift into
that mindset because if I'm not in there, somebody's gonna
be coming from taking my spot. And if I'm not
in there, who am I at the end of the day.
And it's like, the way that you're going about it, man,
is what's going to keep the abundance flowing into your life,
no matter what you got to go through, no matter
what you got to experience. Man. Is it's a beautiful
(34:34):
thing to hear how calm and just how centered your
faith has you.
Speaker 6 (34:38):
You know, I will say something you just said that
I think is so big in our society today. Is doubt,
and whether that's external doubt, internal doubt. I think that's
one thing where being an older guy in the locker
room throughout my career, I mean, you see how that
affects people. And I feel like that's one thing that
(35:01):
if whenever I see somebody that's a young person, young
player that might not know the playbook, but they have
that little second of doubt, I'll go up to them
be like, look, man, like the only way to get
rid of that football doubt is to put in the work.
And if you can remove that doubt, that frees you
up to be the best version of yourself. And I
(35:22):
know that's one thing. It's a hard thing to do.
Like I'm not saying that's an easy thing to do
in football, and when you're in a team sense, it's
all about just football, Like, yeah, that's not easy, but
you can do it. But on a personal level, like
that takes a lot of mental reflection, and I think
that's one thing that that's big. That's big.
Speaker 5 (35:44):
I think doubt arises when you know, we break promises
that we make to ourselves. And Darren and I talk
about this all the time that the most self confident
people are the ones that keep the promises they make
to themselves.
Speaker 4 (35:54):
So it's you know, it's really just follow through.
Speaker 5 (35:57):
And I hear you saying the work, and someone might
be like, well, what's he talking.
Speaker 4 (36:00):
About the work? And it's it is that it's your commitments.
Speaker 5 (36:04):
It's the things and the goals and the practices and
the process and the morning routine. And you know, you're
you're the embodiment of somebody that is just like you've
got so much self confidence, you're embodying it, right, And
if you go back and we talk about your practices
and your routines and how structured you are, it's a
direct reflection on your consistency and your follow through. So
(36:27):
if you're a kid, if you're out there and you know,
you say you're going to spend ten more minutes throwing
the ball, hitting the ball, and you go you don't
go do it, you know that's only fucking with your confidence.
It because you said you were going to do something
and you didn't do it. If you're a parent and
you said you were going to do something and you
didn't and your kids involved, you're now modeling that same
thing to your children. So it's like, do the things
(36:51):
you say you're going to do, be impeccable with your word,
Read the four Agreements, memorize that whole book.
Speaker 6 (36:56):
Like it.
Speaker 4 (36:56):
It will set you free, you know.
Speaker 6 (36:59):
Oh, yeah, have you read the Four Agreements? I'm going
to a Yeah, I got to read that.
Speaker 4 (37:06):
It's Tom brad It's Tom Brady's Bible.
Speaker 5 (37:08):
So I'm sure if what I said didn't.
Speaker 4 (37:10):
Get you to read it, now you'll probably read it.
So yeah, dude, Well and we'll talk more.
Speaker 5 (37:14):
Darren and I talk a lot about it, and it's
gold Man and it's to me, Well, the four agreements
are be impeccable with your word, don't make assumptions, don't
take things personally, and always do your best. And those
sound simple, but they he it is a simple book,
but it'll blow your mind.
Speaker 3 (37:31):
Dude.
Speaker 4 (37:32):
It's going to help you, like arm you with some
more tools.
Speaker 6 (37:35):
I need to read that, and I'm going to add
something something you something you said, and I'm going to
take it back to what we talked about a little
bit earlier. But when I also feel like doubt and
and all that creeps in when you're focused on self production,
and like I think anybody that's listening to this, I
think the biggest thing. We already talked about it. But
(37:56):
when you have the mindset that I'm doing this for
somebody else, in that servant mindset, I think that's that's
what's giving me the most confident in the world because
I'm like, look, I'm doing everything I am for other people.
And yes, down the line, it will, it will, it
will come back to you. But that's that should not
be your focus. It should not be maximizing what I
(38:17):
got for me. I'm maximizing everything I got for my family,
for my team, for my close group around me, for
my buddies, like I'm doing and that makes those decisions
that much easier because it because it's bigger than you.
I think that's the that's the key to this whole thing,
the whole thing we call life. I think that's the key.
And when you said earlier, that's that's the thing that
(38:40):
gets me up every morning, gets me out of bed,
make my bed, get into my process because I'm like, look,
I got people depending on me, and.
Speaker 4 (38:50):
You have that right, that's too too much.
Speaker 5 (38:52):
That's given comes great responsibility, and I think you can
handle that.
Speaker 6 (38:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
I read a quote the other day is uh, in
this little devotional I have called in God's Care to
like a twelve step devotional.
Speaker 3 (39:06):
And there's this quote.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
It was talking about, you know, some of us take
our work seriously, and some of us take ourselves seriously
and said one is imperative and one is dangerous. And
just speaking to what you were talking about about service,
It's like getting outside of ourselves is so important because
if it's all about us, that's when you know, our
world gets smaller. That's when it's about It's about me,
(39:29):
It's about my outcomes, it's about how I feel. It's
about what I can get out of situations, as opposed
to it being you know, the work I'm doing, the
service I'm doing, Like, I take that seriously. I'm leaving.
I'm really truly making a legacy at that point. I'm
making lives better. I came, I'm coming into this world,
and I'm making it better by the way that I
carry myself, by the way that I you know, put
(39:52):
myself out into the world. And that's really the ultimate
legacy you could leave. I mean, I feel like when
we go, when we're done, like it's not going to
be like, man, I had twenty eight million dollars in
the old investment portfolio or all these cribs or these cars.
It's going to be like, nah, like how did how
did people? How did I make people feel?
Speaker 3 (40:11):
Like? How good on my relationships? You know?
Speaker 2 (40:15):
And it's like it's so easy to lose track of
those things during the day when that doubt creeps in
and you feel like you gotta get to the bag
or you gotta get that promotion, or when I get
these things, I'm going to be happy. And it's like, man,
we got the game backwards out here. So conversations like this, Man,
it's how we change that.
Speaker 6 (40:32):
Bro.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
It's how we bounce back. It's how we come back
to the lives that we want in the lives that
we deserve.
Speaker 3 (40:37):
Bro.
Speaker 6 (40:39):
Truth drop the mic on that one.
Speaker 5 (40:42):
You know, as you're saying that, I'm thinking about how
your whole life and as you're walking us through it,
you've created a system. And that's like when I tell
as a coach, I tell people like, when you set
a goal and don't you don't achieve that goal, it's
not because you're broken.
Speaker 4 (40:56):
It's because your system's broken.
Speaker 5 (40:58):
And I love hearing how dialed in your system is,
and it just has me thinking like, this is the
life if you want kind of that the hack to
life or the path.
Speaker 4 (41:07):
You need to.
Speaker 5 (41:08):
Figure out your system to be free, to be comfortable
in your own skin, figure out what your natural gifts
and talents are through that system, and then go serve
Like there's nothing else you need to do in life.
Like you can try to complicate it with external things
and all the stuff, but you know, it's fleeting.
Speaker 4 (41:30):
As a human. We've talked a lot about football.
Speaker 5 (41:32):
I'm just curious, like on a human level to get
to know you, Like, what do you love to do?
Do you have like interests and hobbies outside of outside
of football?
Speaker 6 (41:41):
Man, I love the golf in the off season. I'm
a big golfer. And I think it's like subconsciously it
trains you for a lot of different things. And as
a quarterback, I mean, every plays a new play in
football and in golf, every shots a new shot by
shank one into the water. You might throw an interception,
(42:03):
but it's all about it's all about the next step
and what you're going to do to respond. And I mean,
and it's just fun to play. I mean, let's just
throw it out there. But for me, it's it's like
the subconscious training of that where it's just so much fun.
So for me, that's not a big hobby guy, but
that that's a big hobby for me. It's pretty much
(42:25):
like my main thing in the off season.
Speaker 5 (42:28):
I got another book for you. It's called Zen Golf.
You'll love it, dude. It's like, I don't know if
you've heard of that one, but it's it's everything you're
talking about, like the lessons of life and how it's
tied to golf.
Speaker 4 (42:38):
On a personal level. Like what out there in the world.
I love this question.
Speaker 5 (42:42):
I ask it often of like what breaks your heart
more than anything in the world. What's like that one
thing when you see it where it's just like m
gets you.
Speaker 6 (42:51):
That's a wow, that's a good question, I'd say, Oh gosh,
I'd say when when someone's presented with an opportunity and
they're so like just in their own head where they
just can't grasp it because like I've I've been there before.
(43:16):
And that's one thing where, especially a young guy on
a team like down here, if I see somebody that's
that's got everything right in front of them, but they're
just trying, they're trying to figure it out like that.
That breaks my heart, you know, because I'm like, I
want to help you, because I've been there and I've
experienced that feeling where like I want to do this,
I'm putting everything I got into it, but like I'm
(43:37):
not doing the right thing for it. So i'd say,
when you, when you, when there's an opportunity that's presented
right there that someone's not taking full advantage of because
they're they're struggling with with trying to figure out how
to do it.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
I agree with that deeply, man Like, because I was
one of those people right through, you know, my addiction
and just my mental health being in shambles. I wasn't
able to show the world who I truly was and
what I was capable of. Like if you just look
at from football perspective, like before I got reinstated and
before my career kind of took off, I was just
kind of like a flash in the pan type of guy.
I would show like crazy flashes that practice when I
(44:12):
was in Baltimore, but it would never translate to the game.
It would be a lot of drops. It'd be like
or I would be suspended and things like that. So
I was one of those people and that breaks my
heart too. And to see, you know, other guys get
suspended or other guys have issues with substances, and it's
just like, I'm not somebody that's gonna come down on
I just want to know, like why, like how do
we get to this point, like and what's the solution
(44:33):
to get up out of it? Because every single one
of these guys have something good to offer their world,
good to offer their team, their community, their families, And
I'm with you there, bro, it's just like it's heartbreaking
to see somebody be you know, their mental health not
be an asset to them to step into the world
and really you know, take off with their purpose. Man,
(44:55):
Like I'm right there, wish.
Speaker 6 (44:56):
You Yeah, that's I think that's it.
Speaker 4 (45:00):
It's interesting.
Speaker 5 (45:00):
I've asked that question so many times and I've never
heard that answer. And as you're answering it, what I
heard you say is like what breaks your heart is
seeing people that aren't aware, like they're they're they're they're
in a trance, they're blind to like what's in front
of them, and so they're they're not aware. And I've
never heard that, but then it made me realize that's
what I do for a living is help make people
(45:22):
more aware. Actually that's what we're doing right now, Like
this is why we started the podcast, so that you know,
somebody listening right now that might be struggling an athlete
or a parent that can't understand what you know their
kids going through, Like this.
Speaker 4 (45:35):
Is why we're doing this.
Speaker 5 (45:37):
So yeah, man, it's it's your answers have blown my mind.
I'm like so inspired, and I think wisdom and knowledge
it's not measured in length and years, it's clearly measured
in depth. And you know, for somebody so young, I mean, dude,
I was.
Speaker 4 (45:50):
Such a mess at your age. So it's it's it's so.
Speaker 5 (45:52):
Cool to see and like regardless, you know, detaching from
the outcome of what you do, whatever you're gonna do,
you're gonna crush because you have the natural gifts. You
have the the mirror, the modeling as as as a kid,
your parents, the hard work. Like that's why you're doing
what you're doing, because you saw it. It was instilled
in you. And that loyalty like loyal to a fault
(46:13):
and writing it out at Wisconsin right, Like these are
beautiful qualities that are going to take you take you
far in life, man, and it's been an honor to
have you on.
Speaker 6 (46:21):
I appreciate that this has been This has been dope.
I don't get a lot of a lot of time
to talk about this like on a on a normal basis,
So I think this is a is a dope idea.
I think, you guys, this seems gonna take off. It's
unique because like everybody's got a story and it's just
a matter of getting it out there. That's big, no doubt.
Speaker 3 (46:42):
Man.
Speaker 2 (46:43):
Like you said, we just want to change the quality
of conversations that people have with each other, man, because
you know, I feel like there's nothing wrong with talking
about what happened in the game, and you know, the
dude being off side for Kansas City and like stuff
like that. Like you know that that stuff that we enjoy.
But at the same time, like as men, as women,
as just brothers and sisters in this world. You know,
like we got to have these conversations where we can
(47:05):
get things off our chest if we're struggling or just
you know, so we can get these things out of
us so we can go back into our world and
you know, do what we do and just be ourselves.
Speaker 6 (47:15):
Man.
Speaker 3 (47:16):
So I appreciate you wanting.
Speaker 2 (47:17):
To come on here, sharing your story, being real, being vulnerable,
man like this is dope stuff.
Speaker 3 (47:22):
Man.
Speaker 2 (47:23):
We wish you nothing but peace in your mind and
your heart and success and everything that you touch. Man,
as you go forward, bro be we'll be tuned in
and uh, we'll just be locked in root for you.
Speaker 6 (47:32):
Bro right back at you, guys. Everything you just said,
it's gonna I'm gonna keep looking. I'm gonna keep listening
to these things.
Speaker 5 (47:40):
Yes, sir, well man, thank you so much for coming.
Speaker 4 (47:42):
And we're out of here, all right.
Speaker 6 (47:44):
Appreciate y'all.
Speaker 3 (47:45):
Peace, boy, that was so good.
Speaker 1 (47:55):
Comeback Stories is a production of Inflection Network and iHeartRadio.
For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hosts And Creators
Eric Balchunas
Donny Starkins
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