Conversations with Cherie Healey

Everyone needs a little therapy.
Checking in with life coach extraordinaire Cherie Healey.
Olivia gets a little help for herself and all of us.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
This is Conversations with Olivia Jade and I heart radio podcast.
What's Up, everybody? Welcome back to another episode of Conversations.
I'm very excited for today's episode because she's been on
the podcast before. Her name is Sharie Healy. I'm sure

(00:23):
if you listen to that episode that she was on,
you will know exactly who I'm talking about, because she
is an incredible woman and she calls herself a possibilitarian,
where she just believes basically anything is possible. But she
also backs up a lot of her beliefs with science
and factual things and also things that I've worked for

(00:44):
her and her clients, and she just gives us a
lot of knowledge and I think hope. So with that
all being said, please welcome Sharie. Hello, Sharie, how are you?
I'm so good. It's great to be back with you.
I'm so happy you're back on the podcast. You're by
far one of my favorite guests to have because I

(01:07):
feel like we have such great conversation and then I
also get to walk away from the podcast and feel
a little bit better mentally. So I'm so excited. Um.
But for those you've been on the podcast before, if
you guys haven't listened to that episode, I highly encourage it.
But if you haven't, you probably also don't know who

(01:27):
I'm talking to today. So will you give them a
little bit of background as to who you are. Yeah,
my name is Shri Healy and I call myself a possibilitarian,
which is another word for being a Board certified life
and leadership coach. And my goal really simply in life
why I'm here on the planet is to make sure

(01:47):
that everybody has the time of their lives being here.
And how would you say you do that? I do
it through all kinds of ways. I really focus in
on helping people who want to make a difference in
the world. Those seem to be my peeps, want to
leave an impact in some way, do that and enjoy

(02:08):
the ride. So I think joy is at the center
of everything that I do. That when we can really
answer these questions in life that bring us joy, Who
am I, what am I here to do, and who
am I doing it with, then we can really live
the sweet life and go for our dreams. And I
do that really through individuals you know who are like you,

(02:31):
who want to cause some positive impact in the world,
and organizations because I'm really interested in really finding a
better way to do what we're here to do in life.
We spend ninety hours at our jobs, and right now
people are not doing well coming back to work. So
I'm working with organizations to help them really do what

(02:51):
they're here to do at the highest levels better. What
would you tell somebody? Because I relate to like the
feeling of being lost a little bit sometimes, and I'm
curious if someone were to come to you and say, well,
I don't know who I am, and I don't know
what brings me joy, and I don't know how to
be helpful. What's something you would tell them? Oh, it's
my favorite topic because I think I spent my whole

(03:14):
life since I was a tiny kid, Like my farthest
back memory was laying in bed at like three years old,
trying to answer those questions. Right. My parents like sent
me to the priests at the church to try to
figure this stuff out. And I've spent my whole life
trying to answer that. So I've I've talked to all
the great stages and scholars and philosophers and read all

(03:37):
the books, and so I like to shortcut the process
for people, and I think we've overcomplicated it. We overthink
it to the mp degree, and it has a lot
of us feel lost and stuck right now, especially right now.
So there's a really cool process that I love to
take people through, which is asking some really provocative questions
that get at your truth. And we could do some

(03:59):
of that, you and me. You know. Yeah, it's easier
than we think. And I think there's like doorways to
this that are right, you know, at the end of
our nose that we're too close to ourselves to see.
And so to have the reflection from someone else, like
a coach or somebody who loves you, you know, can
really remind us of those essential things of what we're

(04:22):
here to do and be so that we're not lost.
And I'll demystify the whole thing before we start by saying,
I think in all of my searching and all of
the thousands of people that I've worked with in my career,
I think that we have a shared universal purpose, every
single person who takes a body. And I've tested this

(04:43):
with young people, with this new generation that gives me
so much hope for the world of which you are
a part, and I've tested it with all kinds of
leaders and people in positions of power, and no one
can argue it that at the bottom of the day,
we are all here for the same two reasons, to
experience love and joy. You want to be happy, We
want to be loved. I've read a lot of like

(05:06):
self help books, i would say, in the last few months,
especially since the last time we've talked, and a lot
of them have like a common theme, which is I
would say, like you are your human experience, like you
are built, and you are made of love and light,
and you are like I mean, some of them are
really spiritual and saying stuff of like you are God

(05:26):
or whatever that higher power is, Like that's like a
part of you. Do you do you believe in this
type of thing? And is that something you like incorporate
into your practice because also I've seen in these books
a lot of authors talk about how my generation specifically
and kind of these newer generations we don't practice religion
as much, and and that kind of not that that's

(05:49):
a bad thing, but it does like when you're practicing
religion and you have like something to look towards, that
comfortability being like, Okay, there is a higher power taking
care of me. So much of us don't that. And
I'm not super religious either, so I often think I'm like,
do I need to go do something like that and
like insert myself in a church and be like, Okay,
somebody of a higher power has got me, because I

(06:11):
do feel like sometimes you just hit a point where
you're like, okay, what the like, how does this get better? Oh? Woman?
We could talk about this for days and days and
days and days for the rest of our days. And
this has been one of my most interesting questions in life,
that very question. You know, who am I? And is
there a higher power? What is this whole world all about?

(06:33):
And this is my understanding. So anyone who's listening can
just try this on. I think I've always been taught
don't take anything on blind faith. You know, test it
with your own body, See if it gives you the chills,
see if it feels right and it resonates with your
own knowing. So I've studied all of it. I was
raised Catholic, um I did not agree with a lot

(06:56):
of things I was taught in that religion, and that
had me sort of moved beyond it. I think it
gave me an incredible spiritual foundation. And I think there's
so many people that find exactly what they need in religion.
So religion is there for that purpose, you know, to
create community and ritual around connecting to something that I found.

(07:17):
All religions land on His love. So anything that's here
to explore love, I'm about, you know. I think that
that's that's where all, like all the theology studies I've done,
say that all these traditions are really in search of
the same thing. Whether or not they remind you that
you are love is the question for me, as are
they all wildly empowering. I didn't like that some of

(07:40):
them told me that I needed an intermediary two, some
higher understanding or some divine source or some power out there,
that I needed to go through someone else to get
that because something around me was inherently wrong or less than.
I don't believe that, And I think you can be
spirit told religious or not. You could be completely atheistic.

(08:03):
And the truth of it is, you don't need Olivia
to go to a church to get what you want.
You could, you could explore it. But what I think
is most ascensile is for each one of us to
know that we were put on this planet for a
reason that your body, your being was perfect when it arrived.

(08:24):
It's deeply encoded with gifts and wisdom and unique things.
Like in indigenous traditions they teach that you have an
original medicine that only you can give and that if
not shared, is lost to the world forever. And when
I heard that, I was like, what a goddamn tragedy
that would be if we all died with our music
still in us, Like there's something that only Olivia Jade

(08:46):
can do here and what I know, Well, I want
to show you a visual but we could maybe we
could talk about it and everybody can kind of visualize it,
because this is how I make it really simple. I please,
I need it, yeah, and it'll take the pressure off.
So the what is okay if I recognize that something

(09:07):
about me is here for a reason, that I am
uniquely empowered to do something on this planet, and if
that is just simply walk around the planet lit up
and having the time of your life, like rocking, going
and doing all the things that only you want to do,
and your give off is joy, You're doing a great
service on the planet, you know what I mean? Like,

(09:29):
that's how I want to just go if at the
very bottom, imagine a triangle. The bottom of the triangles
are universal shared purpose. We are all no matter what
color our skin, how we identify where we are from
here to experience love and joy. And I would save freedom,
the freedom to experience love and joy. And so we
can find that we are more comment more more similar

(09:52):
and have more things in common than we are different
at that level. But then we go up the triangle
and the next leve well, I think is this original
medicine or essence I would call it, Like in a
lot of my work, I'm trying to find what is
your essence that only you can be used for. It's
the greatest career strategy, Like right now, I mean, we

(10:12):
could really go in and sort of figure out what
your essence is, but I think you're living it doing
this podcast. In a lot of ways, you're in your truth,
in your humanity, on your journey where you are giving
that to the world. And so that's the unique gift.
And I'll just cut to minus. Celebration like a party

(10:33):
on legs and I always have them. I want to
hang a string of lights on everything. And for a
long time I was put down for it, I'm blond,
I'd be called naive, you know, silly, like calm down, lady,
because I'm really excited to be alive. Doesn't mean that
every day I have is good. But ultimately that's my
purpose is to help people enjoy their lives. That's why

(10:55):
I say enjoy the ride, right. No one ever got
in the water to serve to have a bad time,
And that's like my metaphor for life is we're here
to have a good time. Yes, it's gonna be hard,
being an Earth school is really harder than ever I
think right now, But ultimately we're all here to experience
the joy of being alive. And so that's the second level,

(11:15):
and then we get up to so we've got universal
shared purpose, original medicine or essence, and then you've got
your higher purpose. So what your unique higher purpose would
be is very wide. You could do ten million different
jobs on the planet and still be fulfilling your highest purpose.
So my purpose is to help people make the world

(11:37):
a better place and enjoy the right. I could do
that by being a UPS driver. My UPS driver is
literally making the world a better place. Every time he
comes down the street, he's barreling with like music at
volume eleven, having the time of life, you know, and
he's he's contagious, he's causing great vibes in the world.

(11:58):
So I could do it in a million different way.
Is but I've chosen to be this possibilitarian force for
good helping other people who want to do good as
a coach right now and may change someday, you know,
but I'm now cool with who I am and what
I'm here to do right And then I choose community
who I'm doing it with great other people who want

(12:20):
to cause impact, you know, incredible human beings who want
to read all the self help books like me, you know,
and people who are fun who want to enjoy the
ride and have a great And then I can walk
around like I'm clear about my personal brand and what
I'm here to do right. So I don't feel lost
right now on some days though I do because I'm like,

(12:43):
who am I supposed to work with? Next? Is this
still as much as I could do? I should have
a podcast like Olivia. I'm still holding back myself, you know,
things like that's relatable to me because when you said
you're when I when you said like back like your
thing the podcast, like back, I'm The first thought I
had was Okay, I see what she's saying. But what

(13:04):
if I feel like, yeah, this happened to happen. I
have a podcast. I like doing it. That's cool, But like,
what if I don't see it as like, oh, this
is like this is helping somebody else or that, Like
I've never thought about it that way. I've never thought
about it like this is my purpose, this is my journey,
you know what I mean. So I'm just like the
ups man. He probably doesn't think about when he's blasting

(13:24):
music that he's like creating good vibrations in the world.
So I'm just it just I get I get what
you're saying, and I want to get to the point
where I'm like, have your brain where that's what I
truly believe. But I just feel like for so many people,
including myself, it's it's hard to get to that. I
think it's a decision you have to make, right. It's

(13:45):
an awareness. Like all of my work kind of it
falls into three areas. We're working on self awareness, well being,
and connection. I think these are the three things that
would have us really be like having the great life. Right.
So if your self awareness gets to a place where
you go, you know what, for right now on my journey,
I am doing something that is on purpose. You know

(14:09):
then that's just a choice and a mindset you have.
Is it the thing you're gonna do forever? Probably not.
We could have a million different careers at this point
in human history, and we should, and so let's do
this today. Let's let's ask a question that I'd love
for everybody to answer. I don't think I asked this
of you the last time we were together. If I

(14:30):
put you on the top of a mountain and I
gave you this big megaphone like your microphone right now,
or you could reach the whole world and tell them
one thing, what would you tell them first thing that
comes to your mind. First thing that came to mind
was the words it's going to be okay. But I
don't know if I necessarily believe that of my like

(14:54):
I think that expression like easier said than done run
so true and everything I like preach and talk about
and like want to believe because I feel like at
one point I would have said, like everything will be okay,
everything will work out, And that's like the message I'd
like to tell people because I do believe that for others.
Why am I so hard on myself? Then? Okay, get this.

(15:17):
My mountaintop message is bring it. The world needs you.
That's my tagline. If anybody goes to Shari Hille dot com,
they will see that that is what I'm here for.
Do you think I'm fully bringing it every day? And no,
I am not on the TikTok not. I haven't wadden
my book yet. It's not something that I've nailed. But

(15:37):
it's what I'm here for, which ultimately is my is
related to my you know, it's my essence, my higher purpose.
I'm giving what I'm also here to learn and I
think you are too. So that question really gets at
it starts to get at the essence for each of us,
what your original medicine might be. So think about it.
What's the flavor of everything's going to be okay, it's

(16:00):
all going to be okay? Is it reassurance? Is it encouragement? Like?
What what's the word that you're ultimately giving. I think
that's a tough question. I think for me, that's the
first thing that came to mind because it's something I
constantly try to remind myself especially. I think it's interesting

(16:20):
for me because over the last few years, obviously my
mindset and a lot has changed because of stuff that
has happened. But I feel like right now, like three
years later, like not when I was going through all
the and like figuring it out in the moment, it's
like after and maybe that's just like normal and your
body just needs time to process and then like you

(16:42):
have to work through that type of stuff later in life.
But I just feel like right now I'm harder on
myself than I've ever been, and I'm more just at
a point where I'm like, well, like I'm telling myself
like it's gonna be okay and things are going to
work out, because I truly want to believe that, But
then there's such a big part of me that's also like,

(17:02):
well is that true? Like our thing is going to
be okay? And are you doing the right thing? And
and like I don't know. It's so conflicting, Yeah it is,
but it's exactly what everybody needs to hear, don't you
think right now at this moment in the world, there
is more uncertainty than ever to be someone on the
planet who could just be a voice for you know

(17:23):
what we're going to get through this to be okay.
That's what every single one of us needs to hear
right now now, whether or not you believe it, this
is where we can go back to, like the spirituality
you're you're giving a message of faith and trust, safety
and hope. You know that ultimately is going to be shaky.

(17:44):
Some days We're all going to get shaky. Things happen
to us. It's like my metaphor for life of surfing.
Sometimes you go out there, the waves are great, sometimes
they don't come at all. Sometimes they take you down.
It's not it's not that I think the nature of
the universe is uncertainty. But we need certainty too. We
need both and and you're a message of something to

(18:09):
hold onto. You know that ultimately, if we can believe
that everything is going to be okay on any given day,
it allows us to just think of the domino effect
of it. If I say, in this moment, I'm going
to believe that the world is conspiring for me, that
there is a good force out there that is for me,

(18:30):
and everything has been okay. Like, look at what you've
been through. You've survived some things, right, are you okay,
you have evidence that everything does rocking. Being a human,
you know that some this teaching that I love is
at a deep level of our being. We are always okay,

(18:52):
deeply okay, you know. So if you just play with
that for a moment, you say today, I'm just going
to run with it, all kinds of good things come
from it. Your nervous system stays calm, you're probably a
little bit more self compassionate. You maybe open to your
proofrontal cortex. You can do some higher thinking. Your heart
might be a little bit more open, and all of

(19:13):
that puts you into a higher frequency. You know, we
could talk quantum physics now and go super scientific. You
are electricity. So if you allow for yourself to just
rest in that, then you become a magnet. There's proof
in quantum physics you become an electromagnetic field that is
more powerful than if you're in fear. I've said it

(19:33):
to be more fear is the cheapest seat in the house, right,
So if you choose something like believe for faith or trust,
your frequency gets higher and you're open and you become
a magnet for good things. And I'm sure you can
remember times in your life when you magnetize good things
when synchronicities and beautiful things come at you and you're like,

(19:55):
I did nothing for that, you know, because you were
open and you're trusting. That's so interesting. It's a choice,
you know, how would you tell somebody that's seeing you

(20:22):
or like asking for information on like well, how do
I how Like let's say, because I think it sounds like, okay,
I can be open, I'll trust the world, but how
how how do you do that? Like? Are there physical
steps you can take? Is it manifesting and journaling and
saying this is what I want my life? Is it
genuinely just sitting there every day and believing that, like

(20:42):
there is something good coming and that you do deserve
x y and z um. I Also, I hear a
lot of people like you were saying earlier, just talking
about awareness and being conscious, Like, I think that's a
huge thing. A lot of self help books have preached
and taught me a little bit. I'm just curious as
to what the what would you say the root of
it is? Okay, I'm just obsessed with taking all the

(21:05):
esoteric concepts that I've studied my whole life and making
them really practical. There's two sort of hacks for this
exactly how you do it. One is called doing and
one is called being. Because we it's like you breathe,
you exhale, you inhale. You can't just do one. And
I think our culture is obsessed with doing. You know,

(21:25):
what do I do? What's my checklist? How do I
do this? Where what you're asking for is a little
bit more, How do I be this? And both open
the doorways. So think of a little cycle like you
can think of four quadrants. And so this is the
visual that I'll hand out to everybody. Is one way
to do it. To go into that field is to believe.

(21:49):
Now a lot of people don't believe right now, so
that's fine. But if you did believe enough in something,
say I believe that I'm living my purpose, you know,
and that I want to know my purpose, then it
would have you tap in to Olivia to to the
depth of your potential and and maybe your courage, your bravery.
Two Three take action, So believe, tap in, take action.

(22:15):
And then when you take any kind of action, like
you show up to do your podcast every day, you
send an email You've not been you know, courageous enough
to send you make a call. Anything action wise gets results,
and things can't stay the same anymore. And so if
you didn't even start with belief, all of a sudden
you've got these results, You've got evidence, things have changed,

(22:36):
doors have opened, all of a sudden, possibilities are here.
And so then you believe more in yourself. You you
are essentially putting belief in yourself. When you ask, do
I need to believe in a god? I yet you could,
but you could just also place your belief in yourself.
I see, my spiritual belief is that you are God,

(22:57):
like the books you've been reading. But you could also
to say, your giant electromagnetic field on the planet for
some reason, and scientifically, I could argue that's really important
and very special. And so you see, it's believe, tap in,
take action, get results. When you don't believe, you just
take action. That's how you do it. You you show

(23:17):
up to things, you call, you make the emails, you
do things differently, you take a new route to work,
You take action, and new things come. So that's one
way to start getting evidence and one way to start
believing in your day and the fact that you are
a powerful being. So the second though, is the more esoteric,

(23:39):
and I think what you're getting at which brings us
so much needed reassurance. If your essence that I'm getting
at is this loving message of everything is going to
be okay, it's going to require that we do this
being thing, and that starts with trust, and then trust
allows us to surrender the through things that people don't

(24:01):
know how to do so much right now, you know,
render to what you know and trust in what like
people don't even have heroes anymore? Who do I trust?
Where do that? But if you can? And we'll talk
about where and how. Trust leads to surrender, which then
leads to being just a state of non doing, a
state of being which then gives us receive where you

(24:25):
can receive all the things that you're looking for. You're
saying you're lost. What happens to me when I do this?
Let's say I trust that I'm going to get through
this and everything is going to be okay. So what
I do is I surrender my to do list. I
don't I don't work today, I don't do the things
that I know I should do. I go into surrenders.

(24:46):
So I go to the beach. I be by the ocean,
and then I get every single time downloads intuitive hits messages.
Maybe I've got a journal and I'm just open and
I get all the answers because I'm still, for a minute,
we're not still enough in our world right now, or

(25:07):
if we're still we're freaking out, we're overthinking, right We're
not open to just receiving this. This surrender says, I
don't know. I don't know. It's the most humble and
brave thing to say, like what you're saying right now,
I'm lost. I don't know. That actually opens you up

(25:29):
to being able to receive guidance from you could call
it from your deepest self, from your intuitive knowing, or
from higher powers. I don't care where you think it's
coming from, but it does open you up. Yeah, I
think there's something to be said to because when I
often think about like when I do kind of I
don't know if I'm intentionally surrendering or presently kind of

(25:51):
like knowing that that's what I'm doing. But when I
do think to myself and you hear those little voices
like deep down talking to you about certain things, I
hear two of them, and I'm curious about this I
don't know if this is just a weird meeting or
if this is something a lot of people deal with.
I hear one that's way louder and sounds like way

(26:11):
more intense, and it's kind of like the anxious negative
one talking like the what if, the the you don't
know what you're talking about, the what if this person
thinks this? If you do this, will you lose this person?
And then there's like the other voice that's like really
deep down inside. But I would say it's kind of
like your gut or your like intuition that I often
like just ignore. And it could be with anything. It

(26:33):
could be with work, it could be with a personal relationship,
it could be with a guy, it could be with
a best friend, being like, oh, I have this gut
that they're this way, and then the other voices like
push all your needs aside or anything, and like you don't.
It's like, I think it's a self worth thing. I
don't know if I'm making sense as to what this is,
but I'm curious if you have any experience hearing about

(26:53):
this or dealing with it yourself, or if I'm maybe insane.
I don't know, Beauty, You're gonna help so many people
right now by talking about this, because it's something that
I think most people are afraid to talk about or
recognize because secretly we all think we're crazy. And so
this is going to just level that right now. There's
a thing called parts theory or internal family systems if

(27:15):
we wanted to just you know, credit the source here
that has us understand And this is part of the
self awareness work that I'm always working on with people,
is you are made up of countless parts and voices,
and we can just laugh about it right now. I
think about who you are when you're hungry, are triggered

(27:36):
by your partner, who you are when you're just being
like a daughter, or when you're in your lover, or
when you're in your boss lady and your boss girl
at work. Like we've got all these different resources inside
of us. And then what you nailed that's very wise
is we have a wound that we've all come in with,
you know, that sort of that I won't be enough,

(27:57):
I won't be loved, something's wrong with me. Everybody has that.
And the crazy news here, I've always thought that I
could heal it. You don't even know how many self
help books and works, and it's the gateway to everything.
It's actually like the doorway to you being the happiest,
most self expressed self. It's something that we could talk

(28:20):
a whole another many weeks on holding that wound in
you and loving it and being like, yeah, this is
who I am. And I think you do a good
job of that already, because you're so honest and humble
in every one of your podcasts, you know, just saying
like I might be insane, or this is me. You
know that that wounded voice, though, is the one that

(28:42):
I can't even just say it's the wounded. But there's
a part of all of us that's here for our safety,
primarily for our safety. But she's usually about eight years
old or he anyone's got a voice that's really young.
That's the what if, Oh my god, no, this is dangerous.
That's a few voice that will keep you small if

(29:03):
you listen only to that. And it's not too low
a voice though for most yes, because guess what, we're
in constant survival mode out here. You know, if you
pay attention to the news at all, you're in constant
survival mode. And the fear is predominant because we have
not practiced enough or have enough guidance. Think about school

(29:27):
or however you were raised, did you get tools and
guidance to listen to and be told about that Wise
wanted you, your high self, your true self, the gut,
that intuition, however you want to refer to it. That's
the voice that's here to run your show. But you
have to actively put it in charge and give it

(29:48):
space and time to listen to that one over the
one that's firing all the time. And there's a process
we could go through if we want to do it
to like work that at a deep level. If not,
it takes very little time to understand how to work
with this and how to identify it. But you you
are giving everyone a giant gift right now to recognize

(30:10):
that it's normal. Yeah, because I often wonder when I
hear because it I also do believe if you really
think about something I've been trying to practice recently is
journaling and like trying to because I do believe in
anything like negative or any bad emotion that you're feeling,
you have to bring it to the surface and then

(30:32):
take the part of it that's going to benefit you
and teach you something and then try and peacefully kind
of leave the other half of it in the past
and understand that like that happened and you can move forward.
Easier said than done yet again, but I do feel
like when you listen when you're silent, and you listen
to that little voice, and like you really focus on
the more quiet one, it's the one that's like your

(30:53):
truer self. Absolutely yeah, And I feel like it gets
really lost because of me, be like societal needs or
like beliefs, or if you're trying to impress your mom
or your dad or a boyfriend or a girlfriend or
whatever it is, Um you kind of listen to that
more anxious, nervous one. But I do believe like if
you really were to sit there and write out all

(31:14):
the things that bother you and get some closure with
it or figure it out, when you sit there so
so intently and like focus on it, it does bring
some sort of like relief. Yeah, do you have any
like practices that you would suggest? I know, like a
lot of people say journaling, but is there something else
that ties into that? Everybody? Not everybody wants to journal, right,
and it's not there for everyone, So there's all. There's

(31:37):
always like a thousand different ways to get at what
we need to and that's just one of them. But
try this on. Let's have everybody do this so you
can close your eyes or not, but if it's helpful
sometimes to close your eyes to tune into if you
were to tell me what that little voice looks like

(31:57):
as a person, it's a little being inside of you.
It's like your younger self. H Okay, what's probably like
Probably like a little pink dress and no shoes, probably
playing with dolls in my head, like just not really

(32:17):
thought or care in the world, just doing like the
things that make you happy, which is why I admire
kids so much, because they have the wonderful, wonderful luxury
of not overthinking things and just doing things with joy.
But I also think that's why you see so many
kids like like, I know that a lot of people
are born with anxiety and depression and whatever it may be,

(32:39):
but so many kids you don't see it, Like I
don't think it's like situational like I think you you
live so freely, and that's why I always want to
do so want to hear that little voice. I imagine
it in my kids self, because I'm like, I want
to get back to that like free spirited. You know. See,
this is so helpful because if we all could see

(33:01):
what that voice looks like and give it its personality
and even a name, like did you have a nickname
when you were little? Twinkie? Oh? Because my stomach was
so big that it looks like I was a twinkie
that was filled. But okay, so every time you hear
that voice, the practice is this, TWINKIEK what's going on

(33:23):
for you? You know it's a little It's just like
working out. I always say this. We can work out
our bodies. We can know exactly how to exercise our muscles,
but we don't exercise our brain. And you want to
talk to your brain. She's coming up, or maybe she
lives in a different part of you. She might live
somewhere like in your in your belly, or somewhere else.
But it's helpful to identify wear and then talk to her.

(33:46):
She is here. We don't even have to go through
the whole process. We can know she's here because she's
scared for you and she wants you to be safe.
But if we were to talk to her and say, hey, Twinkie,
do you think you're being successful making Olivia feel safe? Like, no,
freaking out all the time. Freaking somebody out doesn't make

(34:08):
them feel safe, saying what if? What if? What if?
Worst case scenario? Oh my God is going to put
you in fear, and that's actually dangerous. You're never gonna
be your highest self when you're in fear. Yes, I
love that you're never going to be your highest self
when you're in fear. I want everybody listening to take
something away from that because that's so true and it
resonates so much with me. Why is it that almost

(34:46):
living in that state of fear or anxiety is like
more comfortable. Oh yeah, you're contagious. First of all, fear
is contagious. You know that everybody around me is scared,
so I should be aired too. We are wired for this,
we're wired for survival. So fear and adrenaline is really

(35:08):
only supposed to come up in us when we're being
chased by a tiger, but modern day life has us
in it all the time. Social media did not help
us in this regard. You know, well, it's around us everywhere,
so you have this moment. And this is also the
practice like you keep saying, you know, like I'm working
on it. Easier said than done, but that's we're practicing

(35:30):
for the rest of life, you know. It's Earth School.
It's like, how do we get better and better at this?
When fear hits, it's an impulse that's chemical and it
causes adrenaline, right that has you go into the back
of the brand, into the amygdala, and it's all about fight, flight, freezer, fond.
At that point, you've only got four choices, which are
pretty slim choices. So if you can catch it, and

(35:52):
this is the practice going Twinky. You love Twinkie. She's
all about joy. You just want to have her like
Mama's good. Go play with your dolls, or let's go
do something that brings joy, which is the antidote to fear.
In fact, like gratitude is the antidote to fear, you know,
So if you can do something in that moment that
soothes her, or even like let's go to super scientific

(36:15):
polyvagel theory, how do you calm your own nervous system?
What is soothing? What would bring you joy? Like if
you were soothing your daughter, you soothe that little girl,
like we're good and you get really good at this.
It can be like super fast, and then you immediately
pull up who's the wise self, true self? And if
you can see her too, if you know what she

(36:38):
looks like. I had a client actually pull a picture
off the web, like to have this next door, to
get to know that self. Because we don't spend a
lot of time with her. Then ask her say, I
don't know, we just got scared. What do I need?
What would make me happy? Let her guide you, and
she'll come from the most wise, prefrontal cortex, heart centered

(37:00):
place in you, which will never steer you wrong. Yeah.
So it's kind of like self parenting. Yeah, I mean
it's like getting loving yourself. It's all self compassion. Yeah,
it's definitely like reparenting the little child. People do that work,
you know, where you create a different relationship with that
in her little one, but also loving yourself enough to say,

(37:24):
like you know. Liz Gilbert talked about this recently. She
was like, I found myself in a really unsafe position
with somebody where my heart was saying to me, her
true self was saying, get me out of here. Maybe
that was also her little girl, but it was a
deep you know request of herself to say get me
out of here, and she said, I'll get us out

(37:45):
of here, and I'll never put us in a situation
like this again. That's the high self talking. That's like,
I will take care of me and make yourself wrong
for talking to myself the way I do. You know,
just recognize the voice and then take care of yourself.
I love that. Is there anything else you would say
before we wrap this up that we haven't covered that
you think is like crucial or something that somebody leaving

(38:09):
this episode can take away, because I think there are
so many good things in here that have not only
helped me, but will help so many listeners. Yeah, I
think you know what. It's just it's to build on
your message, Olivia. I think at the at the end
of the day, where I place my trust is that

(38:30):
we're all here for a reason. We are. You know,
there's a great man, Dr Zach Bush, who says, if
you're alive at this moment in human history, it's for
a really big reason. I love to think he did
not come back for this kind of a show for
no reason. You know, everything is crazy right now, and
I feel like we need a new story from somebody

(38:51):
about what is going on? Are we in the apocalypse?
Is this the aquarian age? Like? What the heck? And
I think if we can all decide on just that
we're here for a reason and it will all become
a parent exactly when it needs to be. And if

(39:12):
we could just hold hands with good people, you know,
like we are not here to do this alone. I
think the most important thing right now is community, trust
the process and do it together and and have a
good time, like you are entitled still to joy. And
even though there's wildness happening out there in the news,

(39:33):
you probably feel like I don't know what I can
do to solve all the problems. Start here, just start
inside and start really loving on yourself and taking care
of you and doing some of the things we talked
about today. And you are a giant blessing for the
rest of the world. Well, thank you so much for
coming on again. I'm sure this episode again people will

(39:55):
love and we'll have you back again because these are
just my favorite things to talk about. And I could
say here for hours. I'm so fascinated by everything surrounding
this um so thank you so much. I can't wait
to implement some of these tools you've taught me today
into my daily life, I think will be really helpful.
And I think everything truly happens for a reason, because
I think that I'm I'm at a point right now

(40:16):
where I needed this conversation and to hear this, and
I'm sure so many others as well. So thank you
so much for coming on, thank you for having met.
We'll say what my teacher always said, and the conversation
will continue. Conversation will continue. Thank you so much. Dr
Jeri