August 11, 2023 • 44 mins
SEASON 2 EPISODE 11: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: “Donald Trump cannot BE president – cannot run FOR president – cannot BECOME president – cannot HOLD OFFICE – unless two thirds of Congress decides to grant him amnesty for his conduct on January 6th." That’s from Will Baude, Faculty Director of the Constitutional Law Institute at the University of Chicago Law School, and member of the ultra-conservative FEDERALIST SOCIETY, and former clerk for Chief Justice Roberts. He was summarizing, for The New York Times, an article he and Professor Michael Stokes Paulsen will publish next year in the University of Pennsylvania law review.
They insist that there is no doubt Trump has triggered the disqualification aspect of Section 3 of the 14th Amendment, and that it should be applied automatically by State Secretaries of State. “Section 3’s disqualification rule may and must be followed – applied, honored, obeyed, enforced, carried out – by anyone whose job it is to figure out whether someone is legally qualified to office.” The Federalist Society constitutional scholars say it's automatic. If you put Trump on the ballot, you are breaking the law.
And as academic and theoretical and dilettantish as this all sounds, these guys think it should be made really real: “There are many ways that this could become a lawsuit presenting a vital constitutional issue that potentially the Supreme Court would want to hear and decide,” said Professor Paulsen. And Paulsen is a distinguished university chair and professor of Constitutional Law and Federal Courts at the University of St. Thomas in Minnesota. And Steven Calabresi, co-chairman of the Federalist Society, co-founder and co-chairman of the Federalist Society, says the Baude-Paulsen article is “a tour de force" that proves “Trump is INELIGIBLE TO BE ON the ballot, and each of the 50 state secretaries of state has an obligation to print ballots without his name on them,” unquote – or they may be SUED.
There could be enough to knock Trump off the ballot in individual states. And with Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) having successfully sued to remove a January 6th insurrectionist from office in New Mexico, there is a guidebook to how to literally stop Trump before he starts.
Also: Jack Smith really was pushing a Rocket Docket. He wants the J6 trial to launch on January 2. Meanwhile Trump's lawyers are so stupid they think the 2021 insurrection was three-and-a-half years ago, and his apologists like Jon Turley think January 2, 2024 is 18 days before the inauguration that the rest of us seem to believe doesn't happen until a YEAR and 18 days later.
B-Block (23:00) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: In Iowa, Ron DeSantis literally phones it in. Senator Tommy Tuberville - of Florida? And when it doesn't work the fascists only have one play: yell louder. So Laura Ingraham says they MUST RUN ON HAVING REPEALED ROE-V-WADE. For once I agree with her! (27:45) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Unbanned Twitter QAnon loser has a new conspiracy and a new made-up source; Florida GOP County Chair allegedly plagiarized his university Honors Thesis from Wikipedia; And when Conspiracy Theories collide: the Antivaxxer "running" for POTUS is endorsed by the guy whose father claimed he assassinated the Antivaxxer's uncle.
C-Block (34:15) FRIDAYS WITH THURBER: My father so loved "I Went To Sullivant" that he literally listened as I read it to him one last time - and only when I finished did he pass away. Now THAT'S an endorsement!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. While
Jack Smith was confirming the previous indications that he had
(00:27):
a rocket docket in his pocket. He wants the Trump
Insurrection trial to start one hundred and forty five days
from now, on January second. It may be theoretically almost academic.
Two prominent Federalists Society constitutional lawyers and the co chairman
(00:47):
and co founder of the Federalist Society say Trump is
not eligible to run for president, let alone be elected president,
let alone serve as president, because of the exclusion clause
of the fourteenth Amendments, and that somebody should sue to
(01:07):
make sure he does not somehow sneak back into the
White House. Yes, that Federalist Society, Yes that fourteenth Amendment,
and yes that Trump quote Donald Trump cannot be president,
cannot run for president, cannot become president, cannot hold office
(01:30):
unless two thirds of Congress designs to grant him amnesty
for his conduct on January sixth, unquote. And that is
from Will Bawd, Faculty, director of the Constitutional Law Institute
at the University of Chicago Law School. And I'll say
this again, member of the Federalist Society and not just that,
(01:51):
but six years ago winner of the Federalist Society Award
for the Best Young Law Professor, the award they once
gave to that guy John Hugh who told George Bush
it was okay to torture people. Professor Bowd was summarizing
for The New York Times an article that he and
Professor Michael Stokes Paulson will publish next year in the
(02:13):
University of Pennsylvania Law Review. And as academic anstogiy and
theoretical and diletentish as this all sounds. These guys and
maybe I forgot to mention this, they're both in the
Federalist Society. They think it should be made really really real. Quote.
(02:34):
There are many ways that this could become a lawsuit
presenting a vital constitutional issue that potentially the Supreme Court
would want to hear and decide, said Professor Paulson of
the Federalist Society, and this Paulson is a Distinguished University
Chair and professor of Constitutional law and Federal Courts and
(02:56):
at the University of Saint Thomas in Minnesota. It says
on his resume his thirty five page resume that his
other expertises are church and state and abortion slash right
to life. This ain't Ruth Bader Ginsburg speaking here. And oh,
by the way, his co author, Professor Bode He used
(03:17):
to clerk for Chief Justice Roberts, and Bode gave the
Harvard Law School scale e lecture five months ago with
Scullia's widow in the audience, and I don't think she
wound up throwing anything at him. And these guys are
not just spitting in the wind. Stephen Calibrazy, co chairman
of the Federalist Society, co founder of the Federalist Society,
(03:40):
says the Bode Paulson article is quote a tour de
force unquote, which proves and again I'm quoting him, co
founder of the Federalist Society, quote, Trump is ineligible to
be on the ballot, and each of the fifty state
secretaries of State has an obligation to print ballots without
(04:04):
his his name on them unquote. Again. I know this
reeks of rapidly crumbling textbook paper, but it is not
irredeemably academic. One year ago, next month, the County Commissioner
for District two of Otero County, New Mexico, KOI. Griffin,
(04:28):
was removed from that office under Section three of the
fourteenth Amendment. Griffin had participated in January sixth, went back
to New Mexico, told the County Commission he was headed
back for the Biden inauguration and would be armed when
he went. In Washington, he was arrested and prosecuted and
convicted of trespass, and then Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics
(04:52):
in Washington crew sued and won, and the State Supreme
Court of New Mexico upheld the appeal. And right now,
not only is KOI. Griffin out of office, he is
banned for life from holding public office because he participated
in January sixth. And right now Crewe is suing to
have that same statute applied to Donald Trump. The statute
(05:17):
the Federalist guys just said does too apply to Donald Trump.
What Federalist co founder Calibrecy called the tourtive Force reads,
in part quote, it is unquestionably fair to say that
Trump engaged in the January sixth insurrection through both his
actions and his inaction. The bottom line is that Donald
(05:40):
Trump both engaged in insurrection or rebellion and gave aid
or comfort to others engaging in such conduct. Within the
original meaning of those terms as employed in Section three
of the fourteenth Amendment. If somehow you did not memorize
section three on January sixth, I think millions of the
(06:03):
rest of us did. Section three is the one that
should have Trump's picture next to it, with a big
red circle around it, with that slash line going through
it diagonally. Quote. No person shall be a senator or
representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice President,
(06:24):
or hold any office civil or military under the United
States or under any State, who, having previously taken an
oath as a member of Congress, or as an officer
of the United States, or as a member of any
State legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of
any State, to support the Constitution of the United States,
(06:45):
shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same,
or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof. But
Congress may buy a vote of two thirds of each
House remove such disability. We don't have to worry about
that last part that was adopted on July ninth, eighteen
(07:06):
sixty eight, as part of reconstruction after the Civil War.
The rebellious states had to adopt that one before they
were permitted to send anybody back into Congress, and professors
Vode and Paulson devoted the last year to studying the
original meaning of it. Because the ultra conservative federalist society did,
(07:28):
I mention, these guys are in a federalist society. It
believes the Constitution can only be interpreted in exactly the
way the authors, including the authors of the amendment intended
at that time. A year studying those words, and the
conclusion was not just that Trump is ineligible to be president,
(07:50):
or to be elected president, or to run for president,
but that it's all automatic. Right now, he can't do
any of those things. The professors say a lawsuit should
not be a debate over the meaning. The professors say
it should be a measure to force every official who
has to certify a candidate's eligibility force them to refuse
(08:13):
to certify Trump. No Trump on the ballot, no Trump
right in ballot to be counted. I mean, listen to
this quote. Section three's disqualification rule may and must be followed, applied, honored, obeyed, enforced,
carried out by anyone whose job it is to figure
(08:36):
out whether someone is legally qualified to office. In other words,
if you don't keep Trump off the ballot, you supervise,
you may have broken the law. As Bode said, quote,
the question of should Donald Trump go to jail is
entrusted to the criminal process. The question of should he
(08:59):
be allowed to take the constitutional oath again and be
given constitutional again is not a question given to any
jury unquote. So does this mean anything or is this
just another one of our quaint customs that we all
(09:23):
thought were laws and rules and turned out not to be. Yes, clearly,
it means something. Firstly, it puts the Fourteenth Amendment back
on the Trump table. It makes it, in fact, the centerpiece.
That it is coming now not just from some Republicans,
not just from some Republican constitutional expert guys, but from
(09:43):
the federalist society that already owns the Supreme Court. That
not only makes it impossible for anybody on the left
or on the right to ignore it, but it raises
the very real possibility that at least in the bluest states,
the secretaries of state should be ruling right now, or
at least going to court to get a rule right now,
(10:05):
that Trump is ineligible to appear on their state's presidential ballot.
In New York, in California, in Massachusetts, in all the
other Blue states, and also oh in Wisconsin and in Arizona.
(10:26):
And if the secretaries of state don't know how to
do that, they can call the people over there at Crewe.
Crewe managed to blow out this New Mexico insurrectionist cowboy,
and they are stoking up their engines on Trump. Let's
go at minimum. The fourteenth Amendment is another metaphorical two
by four with which to hit the Trump campaign over
(10:46):
the head, like the New York indictments, like the coming
Georgia indictments, like Jack Smith, keep them in court, throw
metaphorical punches, and keep throwing them in defense of democracy,
in defense as the guys from the Federalist Society might
mention of the Constitution. And if you need witnesses, Professor
(11:07):
Bode b a ud, Professor Paulson, p a U L
s E N b a U d E p a
U L s E n. Their office phone numbers and
addresses and emails are online in their profiles on their
school websites. Bode at least has a Twitter account that's
(11:30):
Saint Thomas University in Minnesota and a little outfit called
the University of Chicago, and when you swear these guys
in at trial Wisconsin Secretary of State god Luski, Arizona
Secretary of State Fontes pro tip, you might just want
to mention. I'm just saying you might just want to
(11:52):
mention that these guys they're members of the Federalist Society.
Of course, in the world in which we actually live.
These following numbers may be more relevant than Amendment fourteen,
Section three, but they do indicate that there continue to
(12:15):
be little brief bubbles of gas escaping from what may
or may not be subterranean evidence of Trump fatigue. The
TV interview he did with Newsmax Wednesday night, when the
fly landed on his temple and he didn't seem to notice.
America didn't notice either. Cable news ratings Trump and Eric
(12:38):
Bowling finished fourth, less than one quarter of what that
idiot Jesse Waters did on Fox, beaten by Anderson Silo
Cooper by forty four percent in the race for third place,
and the number among the younger viewing audience those were
even worse. Other numbers mentioned this in brief at the
(13:00):
top Jack Smith filing for a minimal classified information hearing
in the Trump Coup case two weeks from Monday. They
want jury selections starting December eleventh, and the trial to
start on January second. The right to a timely trial,
their submission to Judge Chutkin read, is vested in the public,
(13:21):
not just the defendant. They note that even that schedule
would give Trump five months to review all materials produced
in discovery, tweet drafts, tweet direct messages. Trump of course
immediately whined that January second is just days before the
Iowa caucuses. How dare you, sir? It's actually two weeks
(13:45):
and also thought you were running away with the nomination,
big boy? What you worried about? The Smith filing also
brought out the rather staggering truth that Trump's newest new lawyers,
official and otherwise are really really stupid. The government rights
that the defendants attorneys have claimed that the Special Council
(14:06):
quote has been investigating this matter for three and a
half years, while the defense is starting with a blank
slate unquote. Uh math or that handy dandy calculator at
time and date dot com three and a half years ago.
(14:27):
That would be February eleventh, twenty twenty. Let's see February eleventh,
twenty twenty who is the president. That's when Trump's presidency
still had three hundred and forty five days to go.
I mean, are you saying there was another insurrection we
didn't know about on February eleventh, twenty twenty, because we're
talking about the one on January sixth, twenty twenty one. Dude,
(14:50):
Next time you see the Trump attorney John Lauro, who
was responsible for this document, take a good look at
his eyes. They seem to be coming out of either
side of his head. But wait, there's more. Jonathan Turley,
for a while, this hurt. Now, it just amazes me.
It used to be one of the pleasures of my
(15:11):
experience on Countdown to have him on to Savage the
latest Bush movements. He explained that guy and vote before John,
you to me, I don't know what's happened. I don't
know if it's blackmail, concussion, bribery, but he has gone fascist. Happily.
He makes Trump's official attorneys look like, oh, maybe they
(15:34):
didn't fail math in the second grade. John Turley, tweeting
at four nineteen pm yesterday, quote, what is curious about
the proposed trial date for the Jay six indictment is
that it is four days before the counting of the
electoral votes and eighteen days before the inauguration. On quote John,
(16:00):
the trial date is January two, two thousand, twenty four,
twenty four. That whole voting, electoral college inauguration thing, that's
twenty twenty five. Turley acknowledged the little mistake, but not
(16:21):
that he made it. I still do not see why
the ideal trial date would be on the anniversary of
the riot with a trial in Washington. Should have quit
when you only had the one math error, John, The
insurrection was January sixth. The trial is January second, oh,
and January sixth next year, next year, twenty twenty four,
not next year twenty twenty five. That's on a Saturday.
(16:41):
There won't be anybody at the court on the anniversary
of January sixth. Turley had a bad, bad day, and
ordinarily I would have left it at the calendar's doubleheader
sweep against him. But he raised an interesting point, albeit
a very stupid one, leftover from that Trump Twitter account
decision by Judge Beryl Howell that we found out about
(17:03):
day before yesterday. Turley can't figure out the decision the
judge made and then dropped from her final ruling that
if Trump somehow knew that Jack Smith had his Twitter
dms and drafts, he might quote flee prosecution. I'm sorry,
I'm going to quote Turley it again. I know. Just
wash your ears out after the thing's over. Howell agreed
(17:25):
that he might shake his sizeable security detail, evade them,
and go on the lamb. He is one of the
most recognized figures in the world, so he would have
to go to Mars to live incognito. Firstly, Trump to Mars.
I'm in favor of this good idea. John. Secondly, it
(17:47):
has never occurred to Turley or to any of the
other Trump propagandists and apologists that there could be evidence
somewhere so conclusive, so unanswerable, maybe in a Twitter draft
somewhere that Trump really would, upon its discovery, flee somewhere
on I don't know. Maybe he might walk or hitch
(18:11):
but I'm thinking, okay, just bear with me here. I'm
thinking if I'm him, I'd use my giant private plane,
the one he regularly takes to Europe, you know, to
London places like that. London is only another twelve hundred
miles from London to Minsk. In Belarus, and we don't
have an extradition treaty with Belarus. John, did you know that? Oh?
(18:35):
And Minsk in Belarus that's four hundred and fifty miles
from Moscow. Don't tell try any of this. He thinks
Trump's not guilty, Ohen, for God's sake, don't tell him
about the fourteenth Amendment and this paper from professors Bode
and Paulson, you know, those two guys from the Hummalist
(18:59):
te Trump's ineligible in the Federalist Society even recognizes it.
The Federalists also of interest here, though not as interesting
as that. Frankly, the overturning of Roe v. Wade led
to a Democratic blowout win in the Wisconsin state Supreme
(19:21):
Court election last year, and then a bigger Democratic blowout
win in the Ohio constitutional vote this week. So see
if you can figure this out. Which one of my
ex girlfriends do you think just said that the Republicans
must campaign vigorously and proudly on their success at overturning
(19:42):
Roe v. Wade. You go, girl, I went out with
this woman. That's next. This is countdown. This is Countdown
with Keith. Postscripts to the news, some headlines, some updates,
(20:07):
some snarks, some predictions. Dateline, Coralville, Iowa. You ever heard
that phrase, He's just phoning it in. I would like
nothing more than to believe the tea leaf readers of
the political Cognizanti who say that Ron decentis is within
upset range of Trump in Iowa in the caucuses just
five months from now. But I'm not sure that with me.
(20:36):
One thing you can know is okay, Well, why is he? Oh?
Is that? Sorry? That's my phone? I don't know why
anyone's calling me. They know I'm here. But you know,
I think part of the question, you know, when you
look at people like, you know, why are they running
running for president? Giving a speech? Forgetting to turn the
phone off? Ron, don't call us, We'll call you. Dateline,
(21:01):
Santa Rosa Beach, Florida. Hello, the actual home for the
reporting of the Washington Post of Senator Tommy Tuberville. But wait,
you say, Tommy the Tuba isn't the senator from Florida.
He's the senator from Alabama. Why would he be living
in Florida? You are correct sir. The Post reports that
in July, Tommy Tubberville sold the last two properties he
(21:24):
owned in the state he nominally represents in the Senate,
and quote campaign finance reports and his signature on property
documents indicate that his home is actually a three million dollar,
four thousand square foot beach house he has lived in
for nearly two decades in Santa Rosa Beach, Florida, which
means not only is a Floridian representing Alabama in the Senate,
(21:47):
but a Floridian was coaching Alabama's second most important college
football team, Auburn Dateline Washington. You know, the comforting thing
about America's fascists for at least the last thirty years
has been that when it doesn't work, when it bl
lows up in their face, they don't even think about reassessing.
(22:08):
They just assume it did not work because they didn't
shout loudly enough. The repeal of Roe v. Wade infuriates
a vast, multi party, multi state, multi gender swath of
the country, and continues to do so into now a
second full year. On April fourth, in what was supposed
(22:29):
to be a small but unmistakable Republican victory, the liberal
slacks the conservative fifty five forty five in the vote
that swings the Wisconsin Supreme Court to the left. On Tuesday,
Ohio State Issue one, a fascist bid to raise the
threshold for amending the state constitution so abortion rights could
(22:49):
not be protected in that constitution, held in the middle
of August to suppress turnout absolutely blew the Conservatives out
of the tub. No. Fifty seven, Yes, just watching forty
three Wednesday. After these debacles, Laura Ingram goes on her
(23:11):
little Arian Urban Achievers show on Fox and says, quote,
overturning Roe v. Wayne is the grandest accomplishment. The conserumative
moment has hands at the end in the column line,
be proud and build on it and not ran away
from it unquote Why Laura, I didn't think it was
(23:34):
still possible. But you are absolutely right. In fact, you
need to make sure that every Republican candidate for the
rest of time gets up there and recites from memory
a pledge to end all access to abortion in America.
Make your boy Trump do it, Make all of his
challengers do it. Make Carrie Lake get up there and
(23:57):
do it. Have them tattoo it on their foreheads. In fact, GOP,
Laura Ingram needs to be running all of your campaigns
because Laura Ingram knows how to yell louder. Trust me,
(24:17):
I'm the authority on this particular topic. Still ahead on
Countdown Fridays with Thurber and a story so good my
late father literally waited until after I had finished reading
(24:40):
it to him to shuffle off this mortal coil. No,
there's no Olvererman joke here. I'm serious. This was the
last entertainment he ever enjoyed. Coming up first time for
the daily round up of the misgrants, morons and Dunning
Kruger effects specimens who constitute today's worst persons in the world.
(25:01):
Brons Dominic Andrew McGee, the k you Andon cultist victim
guy whose Twitter account dom Luker was suspended after Musk
said it had tweeted a photo of a toddler being tortured,
a photo and a tweet which reviewed three million times,
and then the McGee account was reinstated personally by this fraudulent,
(25:21):
amoral lunatic Musk. Well, McGee has a new one now,
he claims, quote I have an inside source that claims
Pete and Hillary would have sex frequently unquote. That would
be Pete Davidson and Hillary Clinton, and this clown McGee
does not have an inside source. He has well from
his account, he has an access to an image of
(25:43):
a toader being tortured. That's what he has the purpose
to this bizarre claim. I guess he's trying to make
Kanye West look less insane, seems to be a fan
or something of Kanye West's and to look like less
of an anti semi who knows it's QAnon. These people
aren't no longer connected to the Earth runner up. Anthony Sabatini,
(26:07):
perennial Republican, also ran for Congress from Florida, chairman of
its Lake County GOP. Sabatini is one of the louder
and cruider of the MAGA propagandists. He's the one who,
after the Department of Justice search of Mary Lago, demanded
that the State of Florida should arrest on site all
FBI agents and sever all connections to the DOJ. Yeah
(26:29):
you do that, bub Well, he might actually have a
good excuse for all these things that appeared with quote
marks attached to his name. He may not have written
any of them. Per The Daily Beast, Anthony Sabatini did
not write very much of his own honors thesis at
the University of Florida. Just a little plagiarism here and
there in the honor's thesis. His paper was about the
(26:52):
philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. It's a little reminiscence about reminiscent of
a nineteen ninety two book about Nietzsche by Stephen Asheim.
Now this is subtle, so listen very carefully. May miss this.
This is Sabatini's paper. This is the first sentence of
Sabatini's paper. Quote. The twentieth century has seen countless appropriations
(27:13):
of the ideas of the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche for cultural
and political ends. Yet nowhere have these attempts been more
frequent or important than in Germany. Okay, that's Sabatini. Now
here is Asheim. Listen carefully. Quote. The twentieth century has
seen countless attempts to appropriate the ideas of Friedrich Nietzsche
for diverse cultural and political ends. But nowhere have these
(27:33):
efforts been more sustained or of greater consequence than in Germany.
Did you hear it at all? And like I said,
it's subtle, did you hear it at all? Similarity sight
a couple of You'll be happy to know that there
actually is a difference between those two sentences, the two
first sentences of the two papers. In Sabatini's version, he
(27:54):
misspelled Riedrich. The Daily Beast reports most of what Sabatini
took seems to in fact have come from Wikipedia. But
our winner, actor Woody Harrelson posing in a Kennedy twenty
twenty four cap with his arm around Robert F. Kennedy
Junior's wife, actress Cheryl Hines. Hines, posted it on Instagram
(28:17):
with the caption great seeing you, Woody. Apart from the
baseline problem here, R K Junior is, you know, crazy,
and he's backed by Trump people, and he's only in
the race to siphon votes away from Biden, and he
doesn't understand any of this. Apart from that baseline problem,
this is one of those moments when the backstory is
(28:38):
even more appalling, because this is the moment when two
conspiracy theories collide with hilarious consequences. Woody Harrelson endorses Vaxer
KEM Trail's space cadet Robert F. Kennedy Junior forty three
years ago. Woody Harrelson's father, professional hitman Charlie Harrelson claimed
(29:02):
that he Charlie Harrelson, had assassinated John F. Kennedy. Would he, Hey,
my dad says he killed your uncle. No, that's impossible.
Fauci killed my uncle Harrelson, Today's worst person in the world.
(29:43):
To the number one story on the Countdown and Friday's
with Thurber. And I don't know when I went to
Sullivan became my father's favorite Thurber story. I suspect it
was in the hospital when I was reading to him
in the last six months of his life. I know
I read it to him at least half a dozen times,
the first five by his request. The last time he
(30:05):
did not request it. In fact, and this is the
most perverse kind of compliment I think any restriter has
ever received. I read this story to him. It was
the last thing that I read to him. In fact,
it was the last thing he did on earth, was
to listen to this story in a state of semi consciousness.
He waited till the end of it. He took one deep,
(30:26):
satisfied breath, and he died. I don't recommend this, but
I think it does speak to the quality of the writing.
I went to Sullivant by James Thurber. I was reminded
the other morning by what I don't remember, and it
doesn't matter, of a crisp September morning last year when
I went to the Grand Central to see a little
(30:48):
boy of ten get excitedly on a special coach that
was to take him to a boys' school somewhere north
of Boston. He had never been away to school before.
The coach was squirming with youngsters. You could tell after
a while the novitiate shining and tremulous, and a little
odd from the more aloof boys who had been away
(31:09):
to school before. But they were very much alike at
first glance. There was for me, in case you thought
I was leading up to that, no sharp feeling of
old lost years in the tense atmosphere of that coach.
Because I never went away to a private school. When
I was a little boy. I went to Sullivant School
in Columbus. I thought about it as I walked back
(31:32):
to my hotel. Sullivant was an ordinary public school, and
yet it was not like any other I have ever
known of. In seeking an adjective to describe the Sullivant
School of my years, nineteen hundred and nineteen hundred and eight,
I can only think of tough. Sullivant School was tough.
(31:53):
The boys of Sullivant came mostly from the region around
Central Market, a poorish district with many families of the
laboring class. The school district also included a number of
homes of the upper classes, because at the turn of
the century, one or two old residential streets still lingered
near the shouting and rumbling of the market, reluctant to
surrender their fine old houses to the encroaching rabble of
(32:16):
commerce and become as a last. They now have more
vulgar business streets. I remember always, first of all, the
Cullibant baseball team. Most grammar school baseball teams are made
up of boys in the seventh and eighth grades, or
they were in my day, But with Sullibant it was different.
(32:36):
Several of its best players were in the fourth grade,
known to the teachers of the school as the terrible fourth.
In that grade you first encountered fractions and long division,
and many pupils lodged there for years, like logs in
(32:58):
a brook. Some of the more able baseball players have
been in the fourth grade for seven or eight years
then too, there were a number of boys who had
not been in the class past the normal time, but
were nevertheless deep into their teens. They had avoided starting
to school by eluding the truant officer until they were
(33:19):
ready to go into long pants, but he always got
them in the end. One or two of these fourth
graders were seventeen or eighteen years old, but the dean
of the squad was a tall, husky young man of
twenty two who was in the fifth grade. The teachers
of the third and fourth had got tired of having
him around as the years rolled along and had pushed
(33:40):
him on. His name was Dana Wayney, and he had
a mustache. Don't ask me why his parents allowed him
to stay in school so long. There were many mysteries
at Sullivans that were never cleared up. All I know
is why he kept on in school and didn't go
to work. He liked playing on the baseball team, and
(34:02):
he had a pretty easy time in class because the
teachers had given up asking him any questions at all
years before. The story was that he had answered but
one question in the seventeen years he had been going
to classes at Sullivant, and that was what is one
use of the comma the kami, said Dana embarrassedly, unsnarling
(34:25):
his long legs from beneath a desk much too low
for him, is used to shoot marbles with Kami's was
our word for those cheap ten percent marbles, in case
it wasn't yours. The Sullivant School baseball team of nineteen
hundred and five defeated several high school teams in the
city and claimed the high school championship of the state,
(34:46):
to which title it had, of course, no technical right.
I believe the boys could have proved their moral right
to the championship, however, if they had been allowed to
go out of town and play all the teams they challenged,
such as the powerful Dayton and Toledo Nines. But their
road season was called off after a terrific fight that
(35:06):
occurred during one game at Mount Stirling or Picquah or Xenia,
I can't remember which. Our first baseman, Dana Whaney, crowned
the umpire with a bat during an altercation overcalled strike
and the fight was on. It took place in the
fourth inning, so of course the game was never finished.
The battle continued on down into the business section of
(35:29):
the town and raged for hours with much destruction of property.
But since Sullivan was ahead of the time seventeen to nothing,
there could have been no doubt as to the outcome.
Nobody was killed. All of us boys were sure our
team could have beaten Ohio State University that year, but
they wouldn't play us. They were scared. Wayney was by
(35:53):
no means the biggest or toughest guy on the Grammar
School team. He was merely the oldest, being about a
year the senior of Floyd, the center fielder who could
jump five feet straight into the air without taking a
running start. Nobody knew, not even the Board of Education,
which once tried to find out whether Floyd was Floyd's
(36:14):
first name or his last name. He apparently only had one.
He didn't have any parents, and nobody, including himself, seemed
to know where he lived. When teachers insisted that he
must have another name to go with Floyd, he would
grow sullen and ominous, and they would cease questioning him
because he was a dangerous scholar in his schoolroom brawl,
(36:37):
as mister Harrigan, the janitor found out one morning when
he was called in by a screaming teacher. All our
teachers were women. To get Floyd under control. After she
had tried to whip him and he had begun to
take the room apart, beginning with the desks. Floyd broke
into small pieces the switch she had used on him.
(37:00):
Some said he also ate it. I don't know, because
I was home sick of time with mumps or something.
Harrigan was a burly, iron muscle janitor, a man come
from a long line of coal shovelers, but he was
no match for Floyd, who had to be sure the
considerable advantage of being more aroused than mister Harrigan. When
their fight started, Floyd had him down and was sitting
(37:23):
on his chest in no time, and Harrogan had to
promise to be good and to say that's what I
get ten times before Floyd would let him up. I
don't suppose I would ever have got through Sullivant School
alive if it hadn't been for Floyd. For some reason,
he appointed himself my protector, and I needed one. If
(37:44):
Floyd was known to be on your side, nobody in
the school would dare be after you and chase you home.
I was one of the ten or fifteen male pupils
in Sullivant School who always or almost always knew their lessons,
and I believe Floyd admired the mental prowess of a
youngster who knew how many continents there were and whether
(38:04):
or not the sun was inhabited. Also, one time, when
it came to be my turn to read to the class,
we used to take turns reading American history aloud, I
came across the word ducane and knew how to pronounce it.
That charmed Floyd, who had been slouched in his seat
idly following the printed page of his worn and penciled textbook.
(38:28):
How you know that was ducane, boy, he asked me
after class. I don't know, I said, I just knew it.
He looked at me with round eyes. Oh that's something
he said. After that word got around that Floyd would
beat the tar out of anybody that messed around with me.
I wore glasses from the time I was eight, and
(38:48):
I knew my lessons, and both of those things were
considered pretty terrible at Sullivan. Floyd had one idiosyncrasy, though,
in the early nineteen hundreds, long warm, furry gloves that
came almost to your elbows were popular with boys, and
Floyd had one of the biggest pairs in school. He
wore them the year round. Dick Peterson was an either
(39:13):
greater figure on the baseball team and in the school
than Floyd was. He had a way in the classroom
of blurting out a long, deep, rolling be for no
reason at all. Once he licked three boys his own
size single handed, really single handed, for he fought with
(39:33):
his right hand and held a mandolin in his left
hand all the time. It came out uninjured. Dick and
Floyd never met in mortal combats, so nobody ever knew
which one could beat, and the scholars were about evenly
divided in their opinions. Many a fight started among them
after school when the argument came up. I think school
(39:55):
never let out at Sullivan without at least one fight
starting up, and sometimes there were as many as five
or six raging between the corner of Oak and sixth
Streets and the corner of Rich and Fourth Streets four
blocks away. Now and again, virtually the whole school turned
out to fight the Catholic boys of the Holy Cross
Academy in Fifth Street near town for no reason at all.
(40:18):
In winter, with snowballs and ice balls. In other seasons
with fists, brick bats, and clubs. Dick Peterson was always
in the van, yelling, singing, being whirling all the way
around when he swung with his right or if he
hadn't brought his mandle in his left and missed. He
made himself the pitcher on the baseball team because he
(40:40):
was the captain. He was the captain because everybody else
was afraid to challenge his self election except Floyd. Floyd
was too lazy to pitch, and he didn't care who
was captain because he didn't fully incomprehend what that meant.
On one occasion, when Earl Baddock, a steamfitter's son, had
shut out Mound Street School for six innings without a hit,
(41:02):
Dick took him out of the pitcher's box and went
in himself. He was hit hard and the other team scored,
but it didn't make much difference because the margin of
Sullivant's victory was so great. The team didn't lose a
game for five years to another grammar school. When Dick
Peterson was in the sixth grade, he got into a
saloon brawl and was killed. When I go back to Columbus.
(41:28):
I always walked past Sullivant School, and I have never
happened to get there when classes were letting out, so
I don't know what the pupils are like. Now. I
am sure there are no more Dick Peterson's and no
more Floyd's, unless Floyd is still going to school there.
The playyard is still entirely bare of grass and covered
(41:49):
with gravel, and the sycamore still lining the curb between
the schoolhouse fence and the Oak Street car line. A
street car line running past a schoolhouse is a dangerous
thing as a rule, but I remember no one being
injured while I was attending Sullivant. I do remember, how however,
one person who came very near being injured. He was
a motorman on the Oak Street line, and once when
(42:12):
his car stopped at the corner of six to let
off passengers, he yelled at Chudy Davidson, who played third
base on the ball team and was a member of
the Terrible Fourth, to get out of the way. Choudy
was fourteen years old but huge for his age, and
he was standing on the tracks taking a chew of tobacco.
Come on down off of that con I'll not keep
(42:32):
blocked off, said Shouty in what I can only describe
as a sullivant tone of voice. The motorman waited until
Shooty moved slowly off the tracks. Then he went on
about his business. I think it was lucky for him
that he did. There were boys in those days. I
(42:53):
went to Sullivant by James Thurber. I've done all the
damage I can do here. Thank you for listening. Countdown
(43:14):
has come to you from the top of the Sports
Capsule building here in New York. Here are the credits.
Most of the music was arranged, produced and performed by
Brian Ray and John Phillip Schanel. They are the Countdown
musical directors. All orchestration and keyboards by John Phillip Shanel, Guitars,
bass and drums by Brian Ray, produced by Tko Brothers.
Other Beethoven selections have been arranged and performed by No
(43:35):
Horns Allowed. The sports music is the Olberman theme from
ESPN two and it was written by Mitch Warren Davis
courtesy of ESPN Inc. Musical comments from Nancy Faust, the
best baseball stadium organist ever our announce you today was
my friend Larry David. You see the invisible thread between
postscripts to the news and Larry doing that catch that
(43:59):
everything else is pretty much my fault. That's countdown for
this the nine hundred and forty seventh day since Donald
Trump his first attempt at coup against the democratically elected
government of the United States. Arrest him again while we
still can. The next scheduled countdown is Monday bulletins. As
the news warrants till then, I'm Keith Alderman. Good morning,
good afternoon, good night, and good luck. Countdown with Keith
(44:35):
Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio,
visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get
your podcasts.
Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. While
Jack Smith was confirming the previous indications that he had
(00:27):
a rocket docket in his pocket. He wants the Trump
Insurrection trial to start one hundred and forty five days
from now, on January second. It may be theoretically almost academic.
Two prominent Federalists Society constitutional lawyers and the co chairman
(00:47):
and co founder of the Federalist Society say Trump is
not eligible to run for president, let alone be elected president,
let alone serve as president, because of the exclusion clause
of the fourteenth Amendments, and that somebody should sue to
(01:07):
make sure he does not somehow sneak back into the
White House. Yes, that Federalist Society, Yes that fourteenth Amendment,
and yes that Trump quote Donald Trump cannot be president,
cannot run for president, cannot become president, cannot hold office
(01:30):
unless two thirds of Congress designs to grant him amnesty
for his conduct on January sixth, unquote. And that is
from Will Bawd, Faculty, director of the Constitutional Law Institute
at the University of Chicago Law School. And I'll say
this again, member of the Federalist Society and not just that,
(01:51):
but six years ago winner of the Federalist Society Award
for the Best Young Law Professor, the award they once
gave to that guy John Hugh who told George Bush
it was okay to torture people. Professor Bowd was summarizing
for The New York Times an article that he and
Professor Michael Stokes Paulson will publish next year in the
(02:13):
University of Pennsylvania Law Review. And as academic anstogiy and
theoretical and diletentish as this all sounds. These guys and
maybe I forgot to mention this, they're both in the
Federalist Society. They think it should be made really really real. Quote.
(02:34):
There are many ways that this could become a lawsuit
presenting a vital constitutional issue that potentially the Supreme Court
would want to hear and decide, said Professor Paulson of
the Federalist Society, and this Paulson is a Distinguished University
Chair and professor of Constitutional law and Federal Courts and
(02:56):
at the University of Saint Thomas in Minnesota. It says
on his resume his thirty five page resume that his
other expertises are church and state and abortion slash right
to life. This ain't Ruth Bader Ginsburg speaking here. And oh,
by the way, his co author, Professor Bode He used
(03:17):
to clerk for Chief Justice Roberts, and Bode gave the
Harvard Law School scale e lecture five months ago with
Scullia's widow in the audience, and I don't think she
wound up throwing anything at him. And these guys are
not just spitting in the wind. Stephen Calibrazy, co chairman
of the Federalist Society, co founder of the Federalist Society,
(03:40):
says the Bode Paulson article is quote a tour de
force unquote, which proves and again I'm quoting him, co
founder of the Federalist Society, quote, Trump is ineligible to
be on the ballot, and each of the fifty state
secretaries of State has an obligation to print ballots without
(04:04):
his his name on them unquote. Again. I know this
reeks of rapidly crumbling textbook paper, but it is not
irredeemably academic. One year ago, next month, the County Commissioner
for District two of Otero County, New Mexico, KOI. Griffin,
(04:28):
was removed from that office under Section three of the
fourteenth Amendment. Griffin had participated in January sixth, went back
to New Mexico, told the County Commission he was headed
back for the Biden inauguration and would be armed when
he went. In Washington, he was arrested and prosecuted and
convicted of trespass, and then Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics
(04:52):
in Washington crew sued and won, and the State Supreme
Court of New Mexico upheld the appeal. And right now,
not only is KOI. Griffin out of office, he is
banned for life from holding public office because he participated
in January sixth. And right now Crewe is suing to
have that same statute applied to Donald Trump. The statute
(05:17):
the Federalist guys just said does too apply to Donald Trump.
What Federalist co founder Calibrecy called the tourtive Force reads,
in part quote, it is unquestionably fair to say that
Trump engaged in the January sixth insurrection through both his
actions and his inaction. The bottom line is that Donald
(05:40):
Trump both engaged in insurrection or rebellion and gave aid
or comfort to others engaging in such conduct. Within the
original meaning of those terms as employed in Section three
of the fourteenth Amendment. If somehow you did not memorize
section three on January sixth, I think millions of the
(06:03):
rest of us did. Section three is the one that
should have Trump's picture next to it, with a big
red circle around it, with that slash line going through
it diagonally. Quote. No person shall be a senator or
representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice President,
(06:24):
or hold any office civil or military under the United
States or under any State, who, having previously taken an
oath as a member of Congress, or as an officer
of the United States, or as a member of any
State legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of
any State, to support the Constitution of the United States,
(06:45):
shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same,
or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof. But
Congress may buy a vote of two thirds of each
House remove such disability. We don't have to worry about
that last part that was adopted on July ninth, eighteen
(07:06):
sixty eight, as part of reconstruction after the Civil War.
The rebellious states had to adopt that one before they
were permitted to send anybody back into Congress, and professors
Vode and Paulson devoted the last year to studying the
original meaning of it. Because the ultra conservative federalist society did,
(07:28):
I mention, these guys are in a federalist society. It
believes the Constitution can only be interpreted in exactly the
way the authors, including the authors of the amendment intended
at that time. A year studying those words, and the
conclusion was not just that Trump is ineligible to be president,
(07:50):
or to be elected president, or to run for president,
but that it's all automatic. Right now, he can't do
any of those things. The professors say a lawsuit should
not be a debate over the meaning. The professors say
it should be a measure to force every official who
has to certify a candidate's eligibility force them to refuse
(08:13):
to certify Trump. No Trump on the ballot, no Trump
right in ballot to be counted. I mean, listen to
this quote. Section three's disqualification rule may and must be followed, applied, honored, obeyed, enforced,
carried out by anyone whose job it is to figure
(08:36):
out whether someone is legally qualified to office. In other words,
if you don't keep Trump off the ballot, you supervise,
you may have broken the law. As Bode said, quote,
the question of should Donald Trump go to jail is
entrusted to the criminal process. The question of should he
(08:59):
be allowed to take the constitutional oath again and be
given constitutional again is not a question given to any
jury unquote. So does this mean anything or is this
just another one of our quaint customs that we all
(09:23):
thought were laws and rules and turned out not to be. Yes, clearly,
it means something. Firstly, it puts the Fourteenth Amendment back
on the Trump table. It makes it, in fact, the centerpiece.
That it is coming now not just from some Republicans,
not just from some Republican constitutional expert guys, but from
(09:43):
the federalist society that already owns the Supreme Court. That
not only makes it impossible for anybody on the left
or on the right to ignore it, but it raises
the very real possibility that at least in the bluest states,
the secretaries of state should be ruling right now, or
at least going to court to get a rule right now,
(10:05):
that Trump is ineligible to appear on their state's presidential ballot.
In New York, in California, in Massachusetts, in all the
other Blue states, and also oh in Wisconsin and in Arizona.
(10:26):
And if the secretaries of state don't know how to
do that, they can call the people over there at Crewe.
Crewe managed to blow out this New Mexico insurrectionist cowboy,
and they are stoking up their engines on Trump. Let's
go at minimum. The fourteenth Amendment is another metaphorical two
by four with which to hit the Trump campaign over
(10:46):
the head, like the New York indictments, like the coming
Georgia indictments, like Jack Smith, keep them in court, throw
metaphorical punches, and keep throwing them in defense of democracy,
in defense as the guys from the Federalist Society might
mention of the Constitution. And if you need witnesses, Professor
(11:07):
Bode b a ud, Professor Paulson, p a U L
s E N b a U d E p a
U L s E n. Their office phone numbers and
addresses and emails are online in their profiles on their
school websites. Bode at least has a Twitter account that's
(11:30):
Saint Thomas University in Minnesota and a little outfit called
the University of Chicago, and when you swear these guys
in at trial Wisconsin Secretary of State god Luski, Arizona
Secretary of State Fontes pro tip, you might just want
to mention. I'm just saying you might just want to
(11:52):
mention that these guys they're members of the Federalist Society.
Of course, in the world in which we actually live.
These following numbers may be more relevant than Amendment fourteen,
Section three, but they do indicate that there continue to
(12:15):
be little brief bubbles of gas escaping from what may
or may not be subterranean evidence of Trump fatigue. The
TV interview he did with Newsmax Wednesday night, when the
fly landed on his temple and he didn't seem to notice.
America didn't notice either. Cable news ratings Trump and Eric
(12:38):
Bowling finished fourth, less than one quarter of what that
idiot Jesse Waters did on Fox, beaten by Anderson Silo
Cooper by forty four percent in the race for third place,
and the number among the younger viewing audience those were
even worse. Other numbers mentioned this in brief at the
(13:00):
top Jack Smith filing for a minimal classified information hearing
in the Trump Coup case two weeks from Monday. They
want jury selections starting December eleventh, and the trial to
start on January second. The right to a timely trial,
their submission to Judge Chutkin read, is vested in the public,
(13:21):
not just the defendant. They note that even that schedule
would give Trump five months to review all materials produced
in discovery, tweet drafts, tweet direct messages. Trump of course
immediately whined that January second is just days before the
Iowa caucuses. How dare you, sir? It's actually two weeks
(13:45):
and also thought you were running away with the nomination,
big boy? What you worried about? The Smith filing also
brought out the rather staggering truth that Trump's newest new lawyers,
official and otherwise are really really stupid. The government rights
that the defendants attorneys have claimed that the Special Council
(14:06):
quote has been investigating this matter for three and a
half years, while the defense is starting with a blank
slate unquote. Uh math or that handy dandy calculator at
time and date dot com three and a half years ago.
(14:27):
That would be February eleventh, twenty twenty. Let's see February eleventh,
twenty twenty who is the president. That's when Trump's presidency
still had three hundred and forty five days to go.
I mean, are you saying there was another insurrection we
didn't know about on February eleventh, twenty twenty, because we're
talking about the one on January sixth, twenty twenty one. Dude,
(14:50):
Next time you see the Trump attorney John Lauro, who
was responsible for this document, take a good look at
his eyes. They seem to be coming out of either
side of his head. But wait, there's more. Jonathan Turley,
for a while, this hurt. Now, it just amazes me.
It used to be one of the pleasures of my
(15:11):
experience on Countdown to have him on to Savage the
latest Bush movements. He explained that guy and vote before John,
you to me, I don't know what's happened. I don't
know if it's blackmail, concussion, bribery, but he has gone fascist. Happily.
He makes Trump's official attorneys look like, oh, maybe they
(15:34):
didn't fail math in the second grade. John Turley, tweeting
at four nineteen pm yesterday, quote, what is curious about
the proposed trial date for the Jay six indictment is
that it is four days before the counting of the
electoral votes and eighteen days before the inauguration. On quote John,
(16:00):
the trial date is January two, two thousand, twenty four,
twenty four. That whole voting, electoral college inauguration thing, that's
twenty twenty five. Turley acknowledged the little mistake, but not
(16:21):
that he made it. I still do not see why
the ideal trial date would be on the anniversary of
the riot with a trial in Washington. Should have quit
when you only had the one math error, John, The
insurrection was January sixth. The trial is January second, oh,
and January sixth next year, next year, twenty twenty four,
not next year twenty twenty five. That's on a Saturday.
(16:41):
There won't be anybody at the court on the anniversary
of January sixth. Turley had a bad, bad day, and
ordinarily I would have left it at the calendar's doubleheader
sweep against him. But he raised an interesting point, albeit
a very stupid one, leftover from that Trump Twitter account
decision by Judge Beryl Howell that we found out about
(17:03):
day before yesterday. Turley can't figure out the decision the
judge made and then dropped from her final ruling that
if Trump somehow knew that Jack Smith had his Twitter
dms and drafts, he might quote flee prosecution. I'm sorry,
I'm going to quote Turley it again. I know. Just
wash your ears out after the thing's over. Howell agreed
(17:25):
that he might shake his sizeable security detail, evade them,
and go on the lamb. He is one of the
most recognized figures in the world, so he would have
to go to Mars to live incognito. Firstly, Trump to Mars.
I'm in favor of this good idea. John. Secondly, it
(17:47):
has never occurred to Turley or to any of the
other Trump propagandists and apologists that there could be evidence
somewhere so conclusive, so unanswerable, maybe in a Twitter draft
somewhere that Trump really would, upon its discovery, flee somewhere
on I don't know. Maybe he might walk or hitch
(18:11):
but I'm thinking, okay, just bear with me here. I'm
thinking if I'm him, I'd use my giant private plane,
the one he regularly takes to Europe, you know, to
London places like that. London is only another twelve hundred
miles from London to Minsk. In Belarus, and we don't
have an extradition treaty with Belarus. John, did you know that? Oh?
(18:35):
And Minsk in Belarus that's four hundred and fifty miles
from Moscow. Don't tell try any of this. He thinks
Trump's not guilty, Ohen, for God's sake, don't tell him
about the fourteenth Amendment and this paper from professors Bode
and Paulson, you know, those two guys from the Hummalist
(18:59):
te Trump's ineligible in the Federalist Society even recognizes it.
The Federalists also of interest here, though not as interesting
as that. Frankly, the overturning of Roe v. Wade led
to a Democratic blowout win in the Wisconsin state Supreme
(19:21):
Court election last year, and then a bigger Democratic blowout
win in the Ohio constitutional vote this week. So see
if you can figure this out. Which one of my
ex girlfriends do you think just said that the Republicans
must campaign vigorously and proudly on their success at overturning
(19:42):
Roe v. Wade. You go, girl, I went out with
this woman. That's next. This is countdown. This is Countdown
with Keith. Postscripts to the news, some headlines, some updates,
(20:07):
some snarks, some predictions. Dateline, Coralville, Iowa. You ever heard
that phrase, He's just phoning it in. I would like
nothing more than to believe the tea leaf readers of
the political Cognizanti who say that Ron decentis is within
upset range of Trump in Iowa in the caucuses just
five months from now. But I'm not sure that with me.
(20:36):
One thing you can know is okay, Well, why is he? Oh?
Is that? Sorry? That's my phone? I don't know why
anyone's calling me. They know I'm here. But you know,
I think part of the question, you know, when you
look at people like, you know, why are they running
running for president? Giving a speech? Forgetting to turn the
phone off? Ron, don't call us, We'll call you. Dateline,
(21:01):
Santa Rosa Beach, Florida. Hello, the actual home for the
reporting of the Washington Post of Senator Tommy Tuberville. But wait,
you say, Tommy the Tuba isn't the senator from Florida.
He's the senator from Alabama. Why would he be living
in Florida? You are correct sir. The Post reports that
in July, Tommy Tubberville sold the last two properties he
(21:24):
owned in the state he nominally represents in the Senate,
and quote campaign finance reports and his signature on property
documents indicate that his home is actually a three million dollar,
four thousand square foot beach house he has lived in
for nearly two decades in Santa Rosa Beach, Florida, which
means not only is a Floridian representing Alabama in the Senate,
(21:47):
but a Floridian was coaching Alabama's second most important college
football team, Auburn Dateline Washington. You know, the comforting thing
about America's fascists for at least the last thirty years
has been that when it doesn't work, when it bl
lows up in their face, they don't even think about reassessing.
(22:08):
They just assume it did not work because they didn't
shout loudly enough. The repeal of Roe v. Wade infuriates
a vast, multi party, multi state, multi gender swath of
the country, and continues to do so into now a
second full year. On April fourth, in what was supposed
(22:29):
to be a small but unmistakable Republican victory, the liberal
slacks the conservative fifty five forty five in the vote
that swings the Wisconsin Supreme Court to the left. On Tuesday,
Ohio State Issue one, a fascist bid to raise the
threshold for amending the state constitution so abortion rights could
(22:49):
not be protected in that constitution, held in the middle
of August to suppress turnout absolutely blew the Conservatives out
of the tub. No. Fifty seven, Yes, just watching forty
three Wednesday. After these debacles, Laura Ingram goes on her
(23:11):
little Arian Urban Achievers show on Fox and says, quote,
overturning Roe v. Wayne is the grandest accomplishment. The conserumative
moment has hands at the end in the column line,
be proud and build on it and not ran away
from it unquote Why Laura, I didn't think it was
(23:34):
still possible. But you are absolutely right. In fact, you
need to make sure that every Republican candidate for the
rest of time gets up there and recites from memory
a pledge to end all access to abortion in America.
Make your boy Trump do it, Make all of his
challengers do it. Make Carrie Lake get up there and
(23:57):
do it. Have them tattoo it on their foreheads. In fact, GOP,
Laura Ingram needs to be running all of your campaigns
because Laura Ingram knows how to yell louder. Trust me,
(24:17):
I'm the authority on this particular topic. Still ahead on
Countdown Fridays with Thurber and a story so good my
late father literally waited until after I had finished reading
(24:40):
it to him to shuffle off this mortal coil. No,
there's no Olvererman joke here. I'm serious. This was the
last entertainment he ever enjoyed. Coming up first time for
the daily round up of the misgrants, morons and Dunning
Kruger effects specimens who constitute today's worst persons in the world.
(25:01):
Brons Dominic Andrew McGee, the k you Andon cultist victim
guy whose Twitter account dom Luker was suspended after Musk
said it had tweeted a photo of a toddler being tortured,
a photo and a tweet which reviewed three million times,
and then the McGee account was reinstated personally by this fraudulent,
(25:21):
amoral lunatic Musk. Well, McGee has a new one now,
he claims, quote I have an inside source that claims
Pete and Hillary would have sex frequently unquote. That would
be Pete Davidson and Hillary Clinton, and this clown McGee
does not have an inside source. He has well from
his account, he has an access to an image of
(25:43):
a toader being tortured. That's what he has the purpose
to this bizarre claim. I guess he's trying to make
Kanye West look less insane, seems to be a fan
or something of Kanye West's and to look like less
of an anti semi who knows it's QAnon. These people
aren't no longer connected to the Earth runner up. Anthony Sabatini,
(26:07):
perennial Republican, also ran for Congress from Florida, chairman of
its Lake County GOP. Sabatini is one of the louder
and cruider of the MAGA propagandists. He's the one who,
after the Department of Justice search of Mary Lago, demanded
that the State of Florida should arrest on site all
FBI agents and sever all connections to the DOJ. Yeah
(26:29):
you do that, bub Well, he might actually have a
good excuse for all these things that appeared with quote
marks attached to his name. He may not have written
any of them. Per The Daily Beast, Anthony Sabatini did
not write very much of his own honors thesis at
the University of Florida. Just a little plagiarism here and
there in the honor's thesis. His paper was about the
(26:52):
philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. It's a little reminiscence about reminiscent of
a nineteen ninety two book about Nietzsche by Stephen Asheim.
Now this is subtle, so listen very carefully. May miss this.
This is Sabatini's paper. This is the first sentence of
Sabatini's paper. Quote. The twentieth century has seen countless appropriations
(27:13):
of the ideas of the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche for cultural
and political ends. Yet nowhere have these attempts been more
frequent or important than in Germany. Okay, that's Sabatini. Now
here is Asheim. Listen carefully. Quote. The twentieth century has
seen countless attempts to appropriate the ideas of Friedrich Nietzsche
for diverse cultural and political ends. But nowhere have these
(27:33):
efforts been more sustained or of greater consequence than in Germany.
Did you hear it at all? And like I said,
it's subtle, did you hear it at all? Similarity sight
a couple of You'll be happy to know that there
actually is a difference between those two sentences, the two
first sentences of the two papers. In Sabatini's version, he
(27:54):
misspelled Riedrich. The Daily Beast reports most of what Sabatini
took seems to in fact have come from Wikipedia. But
our winner, actor Woody Harrelson posing in a Kennedy twenty
twenty four cap with his arm around Robert F. Kennedy
Junior's wife, actress Cheryl Hines. Hines, posted it on Instagram
(28:17):
with the caption great seeing you, Woody. Apart from the
baseline problem here, R K Junior is, you know, crazy,
and he's backed by Trump people, and he's only in
the race to siphon votes away from Biden, and he
doesn't understand any of this. Apart from that baseline problem,
this is one of those moments when the backstory is
(28:38):
even more appalling, because this is the moment when two
conspiracy theories collide with hilarious consequences. Woody Harrelson endorses Vaxer
KEM Trail's space cadet Robert F. Kennedy Junior forty three
years ago. Woody Harrelson's father, professional hitman Charlie Harrelson claimed
(29:02):
that he Charlie Harrelson, had assassinated John F. Kennedy. Would he, Hey,
my dad says he killed your uncle. No, that's impossible.
Fauci killed my uncle Harrelson, Today's worst person in the world.
(29:43):
To the number one story on the Countdown and Friday's
with Thurber. And I don't know when I went to
Sullivan became my father's favorite Thurber story. I suspect it
was in the hospital when I was reading to him
in the last six months of his life. I know
I read it to him at least half a dozen times,
the first five by his request. The last time he
(30:05):
did not request it. In fact, and this is the
most perverse kind of compliment I think any restriter has
ever received. I read this story to him. It was
the last thing that I read to him. In fact,
it was the last thing he did on earth, was
to listen to this story in a state of semi consciousness.
He waited till the end of it. He took one deep,
(30:26):
satisfied breath, and he died. I don't recommend this, but
I think it does speak to the quality of the writing.
I went to Sullivant by James Thurber. I was reminded
the other morning by what I don't remember, and it
doesn't matter, of a crisp September morning last year when
I went to the Grand Central to see a little
(30:48):
boy of ten get excitedly on a special coach that
was to take him to a boys' school somewhere north
of Boston. He had never been away to school before.
The coach was squirming with youngsters. You could tell after
a while the novitiate shining and tremulous, and a little
odd from the more aloof boys who had been away
(31:09):
to school before. But they were very much alike at
first glance. There was for me, in case you thought
I was leading up to that, no sharp feeling of
old lost years in the tense atmosphere of that coach.
Because I never went away to a private school. When
I was a little boy. I went to Sullivant School
in Columbus. I thought about it as I walked back
(31:32):
to my hotel. Sullivant was an ordinary public school, and
yet it was not like any other I have ever
known of. In seeking an adjective to describe the Sullivant
School of my years, nineteen hundred and nineteen hundred and eight,
I can only think of tough. Sullivant School was tough.
(31:53):
The boys of Sullivant came mostly from the region around
Central Market, a poorish district with many families of the
laboring class. The school district also included a number of
homes of the upper classes, because at the turn of
the century, one or two old residential streets still lingered
near the shouting and rumbling of the market, reluctant to
surrender their fine old houses to the encroaching rabble of
(32:16):
commerce and become as a last. They now have more
vulgar business streets. I remember always, first of all, the
Cullibant baseball team. Most grammar school baseball teams are made
up of boys in the seventh and eighth grades, or
they were in my day, But with Sullibant it was different.
(32:36):
Several of its best players were in the fourth grade,
known to the teachers of the school as the terrible fourth.
In that grade you first encountered fractions and long division,
and many pupils lodged there for years, like logs in
(32:58):
a brook. Some of the more able baseball players have
been in the fourth grade for seven or eight years
then too, there were a number of boys who had
not been in the class past the normal time, but
were nevertheless deep into their teens. They had avoided starting
to school by eluding the truant officer until they were
(33:19):
ready to go into long pants, but he always got
them in the end. One or two of these fourth
graders were seventeen or eighteen years old, but the dean
of the squad was a tall, husky young man of
twenty two who was in the fifth grade. The teachers
of the third and fourth had got tired of having
him around as the years rolled along and had pushed
(33:40):
him on. His name was Dana Wayney, and he had
a mustache. Don't ask me why his parents allowed him
to stay in school so long. There were many mysteries
at Sullivans that were never cleared up. All I know
is why he kept on in school and didn't go
to work. He liked playing on the baseball team, and
(34:02):
he had a pretty easy time in class because the
teachers had given up asking him any questions at all
years before. The story was that he had answered but
one question in the seventeen years he had been going
to classes at Sullivant, and that was what is one
use of the comma the kami, said Dana embarrassedly, unsnarling
(34:25):
his long legs from beneath a desk much too low
for him, is used to shoot marbles with Kami's was
our word for those cheap ten percent marbles, in case
it wasn't yours. The Sullivant School baseball team of nineteen
hundred and five defeated several high school teams in the
city and claimed the high school championship of the state,
(34:46):
to which title it had, of course, no technical right.
I believe the boys could have proved their moral right
to the championship, however, if they had been allowed to
go out of town and play all the teams they challenged,
such as the powerful Dayton and Toledo Nines. But their
road season was called off after a terrific fight that
(35:06):
occurred during one game at Mount Stirling or Picquah or Xenia,
I can't remember which. Our first baseman, Dana Whaney, crowned
the umpire with a bat during an altercation overcalled strike
and the fight was on. It took place in the
fourth inning, so of course the game was never finished.
The battle continued on down into the business section of
(35:29):
the town and raged for hours with much destruction of property.
But since Sullivan was ahead of the time seventeen to nothing,
there could have been no doubt as to the outcome.
Nobody was killed. All of us boys were sure our
team could have beaten Ohio State University that year, but
they wouldn't play us. They were scared. Wayney was by
(35:53):
no means the biggest or toughest guy on the Grammar
School team. He was merely the oldest, being about a
year the senior of Floyd, the center fielder who could
jump five feet straight into the air without taking a
running start. Nobody knew, not even the Board of Education,
which once tried to find out whether Floyd was Floyd's
(36:14):
first name or his last name. He apparently only had one.
He didn't have any parents, and nobody, including himself, seemed
to know where he lived. When teachers insisted that he
must have another name to go with Floyd, he would
grow sullen and ominous, and they would cease questioning him
because he was a dangerous scholar in his schoolroom brawl,
(36:37):
as mister Harrigan, the janitor found out one morning when
he was called in by a screaming teacher. All our
teachers were women. To get Floyd under control. After she
had tried to whip him and he had begun to
take the room apart, beginning with the desks. Floyd broke
into small pieces the switch she had used on him.
(37:00):
Some said he also ate it. I don't know, because
I was home sick of time with mumps or something.
Harrigan was a burly, iron muscle janitor, a man come
from a long line of coal shovelers, but he was
no match for Floyd, who had to be sure the
considerable advantage of being more aroused than mister Harrigan. When
their fight started, Floyd had him down and was sitting
(37:23):
on his chest in no time, and Harrogan had to
promise to be good and to say that's what I
get ten times before Floyd would let him up. I
don't suppose I would ever have got through Sullivant School
alive if it hadn't been for Floyd. For some reason,
he appointed himself my protector, and I needed one. If
(37:44):
Floyd was known to be on your side, nobody in
the school would dare be after you and chase you home.
I was one of the ten or fifteen male pupils
in Sullivant School who always or almost always knew their lessons,
and I believe Floyd admired the mental prowess of a
youngster who knew how many continents there were and whether
(38:04):
or not the sun was inhabited. Also, one time, when
it came to be my turn to read to the class,
we used to take turns reading American history aloud, I
came across the word ducane and knew how to pronounce it.
That charmed Floyd, who had been slouched in his seat
idly following the printed page of his worn and penciled textbook.
(38:28):
How you know that was ducane, boy, he asked me
after class. I don't know, I said, I just knew it.
He looked at me with round eyes. Oh that's something
he said. After that word got around that Floyd would
beat the tar out of anybody that messed around with me.
I wore glasses from the time I was eight, and
(38:48):
I knew my lessons, and both of those things were
considered pretty terrible at Sullivan. Floyd had one idiosyncrasy, though,
in the early nineteen hundreds, long warm, furry gloves that
came almost to your elbows were popular with boys, and
Floyd had one of the biggest pairs in school. He
wore them the year round. Dick Peterson was an either
(39:13):
greater figure on the baseball team and in the school
than Floyd was. He had a way in the classroom
of blurting out a long, deep, rolling be for no
reason at all. Once he licked three boys his own
size single handed, really single handed, for he fought with
(39:33):
his right hand and held a mandolin in his left
hand all the time. It came out uninjured. Dick and
Floyd never met in mortal combats, so nobody ever knew
which one could beat, and the scholars were about evenly
divided in their opinions. Many a fight started among them
after school when the argument came up. I think school
(39:55):
never let out at Sullivan without at least one fight
starting up, and sometimes there were as many as five
or six raging between the corner of Oak and sixth
Streets and the corner of Rich and Fourth Streets four
blocks away. Now and again, virtually the whole school turned
out to fight the Catholic boys of the Holy Cross
Academy in Fifth Street near town for no reason at all.
(40:18):
In winter, with snowballs and ice balls. In other seasons
with fists, brick bats, and clubs. Dick Peterson was always
in the van, yelling, singing, being whirling all the way
around when he swung with his right or if he
hadn't brought his mandle in his left and missed. He
made himself the pitcher on the baseball team because he
(40:40):
was the captain. He was the captain because everybody else
was afraid to challenge his self election except Floyd. Floyd
was too lazy to pitch, and he didn't care who
was captain because he didn't fully incomprehend what that meant.
On one occasion, when Earl Baddock, a steamfitter's son, had
shut out Mound Street School for six innings without a hit,
(41:02):
Dick took him out of the pitcher's box and went
in himself. He was hit hard and the other team scored,
but it didn't make much difference because the margin of
Sullivant's victory was so great. The team didn't lose a
game for five years to another grammar school. When Dick
Peterson was in the sixth grade, he got into a
saloon brawl and was killed. When I go back to Columbus.
(41:28):
I always walked past Sullivant School, and I have never
happened to get there when classes were letting out, so
I don't know what the pupils are like. Now. I
am sure there are no more Dick Peterson's and no
more Floyd's, unless Floyd is still going to school there.
The playyard is still entirely bare of grass and covered
(41:49):
with gravel, and the sycamore still lining the curb between
the schoolhouse fence and the Oak Street car line. A
street car line running past a schoolhouse is a dangerous
thing as a rule, but I remember no one being
injured while I was attending Sullivant. I do remember, how however,
one person who came very near being injured. He was
a motorman on the Oak Street line, and once when
(42:12):
his car stopped at the corner of six to let
off passengers, he yelled at Chudy Davidson, who played third
base on the ball team and was a member of
the Terrible Fourth, to get out of the way. Choudy
was fourteen years old but huge for his age, and
he was standing on the tracks taking a chew of tobacco.
Come on down off of that con I'll not keep
(42:32):
blocked off, said Shouty in what I can only describe
as a sullivant tone of voice. The motorman waited until
Shooty moved slowly off the tracks. Then he went on
about his business. I think it was lucky for him
that he did. There were boys in those days. I
(42:53):
went to Sullivant by James Thurber. I've done all the
damage I can do here. Thank you for listening. Countdown
(43:14):
has come to you from the top of the Sports
Capsule building here in New York. Here are the credits.
Most of the music was arranged, produced and performed by
Brian Ray and John Phillip Schanel. They are the Countdown
musical directors. All orchestration and keyboards by John Phillip Shanel, Guitars,
bass and drums by Brian Ray, produced by Tko Brothers.
Other Beethoven selections have been arranged and performed by No
(43:35):
Horns Allowed. The sports music is the Olberman theme from
ESPN two and it was written by Mitch Warren Davis
courtesy of ESPN Inc. Musical comments from Nancy Faust, the
best baseball stadium organist ever our announce you today was
my friend Larry David. You see the invisible thread between
postscripts to the news and Larry doing that catch that
(43:59):
everything else is pretty much my fault. That's countdown for
this the nine hundred and forty seventh day since Donald
Trump his first attempt at coup against the democratically elected
government of the United States. Arrest him again while we
still can. The next scheduled countdown is Monday bulletins. As
the news warrants till then, I'm Keith Alderman. Good morning,
good afternoon, good night, and good luck. Countdown with Keith
(44:35):
Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio,
visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get
your podcasts.
Host
Keith Olbermann
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