November 29, 2022 • 37 mins
EPISODE 84: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: I think Republicans just found a window to push Trump out of the party over Nick Fuentes and Kanye West. His VP, at least a dozen Senators, and others rushed for the exits - and to publicly slam him for dining with the two antisemites (2:30) Relax. I'm not interested in their flexible and utterly reversible morals. They did this exact same thing with the Access Hollywood tape. They don't CARE. Trump doesn't CARE. But when Rick Scott says "there's no room in the Republican Party for white supremacy and antisemitism" he's setting in motion a political timeline that ends with Trump as a 3rd Party candidate who splits the Republican vote. (7:15) It isn't yet a full-fledge run on the bank, but it was enough for Mike Pence to demand Trump apologize (10:42) and even Herschel Walker to run for cover. (11:50) As a footnote, why is it all Fuentes and not Kanye? Last night the host of a livestream didn't immediately agree with West's proclamation that "The Media" and "The Jews" were the same, so seconds later West walked off the show in protest.
B-Block (17:15) EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY: Luca in New York (17:57) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: 1/6 Committee interviews Kellyanne ConJob, and the top puppy and kitten names for 2022 (20:05) IN SPORTS: How the World Cup started or accelerated the Chinese anti-government protests (23:03) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Marsha Blackburn destroys a kitchen and the subtle threat for more Colorado Springs shootings from "Gays Against Groomers," competing with the tag-team of Elon Musk and Steven Crowder for the honors.
C-Block (25:05) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: Enjoying Alexi Lalas on the Fox Sports coverage of The World Cup? A quarter century ago he and I did a "This Is SportsCenter" commercial. If you've ever wondered how much fun it would be to grab a guitar out of Lalas's hands, in a crowded newsroom that hasn't been warned, and smashing it against a wall - it pretty much couldn't be MORE fun.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of I Heart Radio.
I think I think Republicans may see a window to
(00:30):
exorcize Donald Trump from their party over the dinner with
Nick Fuentes and Kanye West. I think his vice president,
his envoy against anti Semitism. At least a dozen Republican
senators others all stampeding towards the Trumpian exit yesterday and
last night, and only a few of them even bothering
(00:52):
to try to both sides it as they climbed all
over each other to get to the door and pretend
to actually give a crap Relax, I am not interested in.
They're very flexible and utterly reversible and completely transparent morals.
They did this with the Access Hollywood tape too. They
don't care. Trump doesn't care. This is not about caring.
(01:16):
This is not about what's right. This is about the
political calculus. And if the cards continue to fall the
way they did yesterday, Trump will not be the Republican
nominee in two and that means Trump will become a
third party candidate because he has to. And this we want.
What matters right now is the language This time sounds
(01:39):
more like driving multiple stakes through the heart of the vampire,
and many key Republicans said important, albeit insincere and hypocritical
things about him not belonging in the party. This is
from Rick Scott, who a week ago today was running
point against Mitch McConnell for Donald Trump, and then a
(02:01):
week ago tonight, Trump had Kanye West and Nick Plente's
over to dinner quote, there's no room in the Republican
Party for white supremacy anti semitism. Should Trump then condemn
Puente's and or West. I think Republicans should all condemn
white supremacy and anti semitism. Senator Bill Cassidy of Louisiana.
(02:23):
President Trump hosting racist anti semites for dinner encourages other
racist anti semites. These attitudes are immoral and should not
be entertained. This is not the Republican Party. Well, uh,
yeah it is, but that's not important right now. The
(02:44):
version of that quote with ellipses is Trump dot dot
dot is not the Republican Party. Mitt Romney now with
new beard in progress, condemning and then adding quote, I
certainly don't want him hanging over our party like a gargoyle.
Let me repeat the key point. This is not about
(03:06):
Republican morals. There are no Republican morals. This is about reality.
If there are one hundred methods to keep Donald Trump
from returning to the wine house, and another hundred methods
to keep any Republican out, responsible, non fascist Americans have
to step on the gas on all two hundred methods simultaneously,
(03:27):
and one of them is the reminder that the best
odds of doing both of these things at the same
time is getting somebody else the Republican nomination and thus
forcing Trump onto a third party ticket, because Trump will
run under indictment. He would run from jail. Hell, there
are times I begin to think Trump might run posthumously anyway,
(03:52):
just as many Republicans went halfway. That must be said it.
It had to be somebody else's fault. Trump couldn't be
that evil, or they whispered, that's stupid. On Thune. I
don't know who's advising him on his staff, but I
hope that whoever that person it was got fired. The person,
(04:13):
of course is Trump. We all know that, John, Thank you,
Senator Tom Tillis. If the reports are true and the
President didn't know who he Fuentes was, whoever let him
in the room, should be fired. And that is actually
a lot less mealy mouthed than it sounds, because Tillis
is implying, if the reports are not true, the whoever
let him in the room was Trump, as we know
(04:35):
it was, and till Us is this close to saying
it's Trump who should be fired. John Cordon even called
it bad or perhaps that was Ted Cruz and Cornin
just cut and pasted Cruises remark, Senator Capito, ridiculous you
would do something with someone who espouses those views. Senator Ernst,
it is really ridiculous that he would do that. Senator Fisher,
(04:58):
I think it's wrong anytime you elevate comments that that
person says. Even Senator Susan Collins Trump quote should never
have had a meal or even a meeting with Nick Fuentes, which,
as an asside, goes into the Susan Collins Hall of
Fame because it implies that the meal among anti Semites
is far worse than a meeting among anti Semites. Marco
(05:22):
Rubio called Fuentes a quote ass clown unquote, but insisted
Trump is not an anti Semite. Spoiler alert, Sure he is.
Rubio said he hoped Trump would condemn Fuentes, Josh running
Man Holly, and Congressman Comber of the Maryland Thomas Allegations
(05:42):
tried to swerve it back to alon Omar and Holly.
The nitwit then went further and added, he supposed Trump
quote can have dinner with whomever he wants to. But
is interesting as anything said yesterday, and it is a
shocker considering the boiler plate pablum for which this guy
seems to be the exclusive American distributor what said by
(06:05):
Mike Pence. He went all extremes. There is no middle
in his statement about Trump and Fuentes and West of Trump,
he says, quote, I think he should apologize for it,
and he should denounce those individuals and their hateful rhetoric
without qualification. Then the nonsense at the other end of
(06:28):
the spectrum, echoing Rubio, I don't believe Donald Trump is
an anti Semite. I don't believe he's a racist or
a bigot. I would not have been his vice president
if he was. Mike, of course you would have. You
did for fourteen days after he encouraged his thugs to
hang you. I would not have been his vice president.
(06:51):
He would have been his vice president if he'd set
you on fire on day one. But Pence insisting Trump
should apologize circles back to my point. The Republicans are
useful in this society only because they individually and actively
describe the paths of their own political landscape, with none
of those cumbersome morals or values or laws getting in
(07:15):
the way of the pure, grunting thrust of their individual
lusts for power. Pence insists on an apology from Trump
about twenty's and West because Pence thinks his chances of
the presidential nomination are increased by insisting on an apology.
Just as Rick Scott said there is no room in
the Republican Party because somebody told him his chances of
(07:36):
becoming minority leader would shoot upwards if he did. Just
as Ron De Santis saying nothing is because that serves
him best, and Lindsey Graham and Ted Cruz, just as
Kevin McCarthy saying nothing, I guess saves him from yet
a third or fourth coat of that paint being applied
(07:56):
to the corner he has painted himself into. McCarthy if
he even can secure the speakership promised to Yank Congre
Somemen omar Off of her committees because of what the
Republicans falsely claim is her anti Semitism. Trump is strategizing
with his fellow anti Semites and tarring the Republican Party
with the stain, and McCarthy may not be able to
(08:18):
get away with silence, but it's his best bet given
the Omar situation. And then there is one more, even
more abject political calculation that shows where Trump stands after
the Fluentes fiasco, how much damage he has done to
(08:38):
himself in a week's time, and the mouth watering prospect
of the Republicans splitting into a mainstream party that nominates
somebody like de Santis and the completely crazy offshoot that
gets of the vote and sends a Democrat comfortably into
the White House in two years. Nobody is coming out
(09:00):
and saying Nick Fluentes is the direct cause of this
last abject political calculation. Lord knows Trump had already done
enough this month to make himself a political albatross in
real time, but the timing of this is more than
well just timing. Let me just quote this out of
the New York Times from last night. Donald J. Trump
(09:22):
will not cross the Florida state line to campaign with
herschel Walker during the final week of the Georgia Senate
runoff election, after both camps decided decided the former president's
appearance carried more political risks than rewards. Campaign officials for
the two Republicans said on Monday, when herschel Walker doesn't
(09:46):
want you to be seen anywhere near his erection, well,
first of all, this election is more than harseelwalk des
erection about the people. Well, first of all, this election
is more than herseelwalk des erections about the people. Well,
first of all, this election is more than herseelwalk des
erection about the people. Well. As a footnote to this,
(10:07):
at first, blush, it is kind of amazing that all
the Republican blowback is about Nick Fuentes and almost none
of it mentions Kanye West by name. I guess focus
groups in the Senate, in the House, and elsewhere in
the GOP say there is still some sort of overlap
between Republican voters and Kanye West bands. Please note West
(10:30):
and Fluentes were on a live stream last night, and
when the host would not instantly agree with West that
the media is run by the Jews to use their
terms and that those terms media and Jews are interchangeable.
When the host just stopped for almost literally a second
to say that the words were not entirely synonymous, Kanye
(10:52):
West got up and walked off the set because there
was not immediate agreement with his perfect rounded, well formed
anti semitism and hate the scum bag. And lastly, there
is Trump himself, joyfully back from his brief collision with
reality during his official announcement that he was running and
(11:14):
finding a nice juicy delusion to cower behind, dismissive and
offhand about twenty's and West and the dinner over the weekend,
and of course, as ever the real victim here, he
has now gone radio silent on these topics and instead
happily posted yet another confession in the nuclear documents gleptomania
case quote, when will you invade the other president's homes
(11:38):
in search of documents which are voluminous which they took
with them, but not nearly so openly and transparently as
I did? Subtracting the usual Trump crap for brains pretzel
logic from that sentence, Trump just admitted heat not only
took documents, but did so openly. That is such a
(12:01):
confession that even Jack Smith than Merrick Garland may have
noticed it. It is such a confession that I am
half expecting a quote today reading These attitudes about taking
documents are immoral and should not be entertained. This is
not the Republican Party, coming from Nick Fuentes. Still ahead
(12:36):
of curious twist in the other Trump saga because the
January sixth Committee takes five hours of testimony on the
record from Kelly an con job. The World Cup, the
soccer tournament may have triggered, at least it accelerated the
anti government protests in China. We know that because of
(12:57):
something the Chinese have done and in things I promised
not to tell. Have you heard the Fox Sports World
Cup commentator Alexey Lallis, the former player. A lot of
people are complaining me. I did a commercial with Alexei
Lallis a quarter century ago, and he was a gas
and I got to destroy his guitar in the middle
(13:18):
of the crowded and largely unprepared for it. ESPN Newsroom,
Come on, if you want to enjoy yourself, destroying a
guitar in the middle of a crowded workplace is really
near the top of your list. That's next. This is Countdown.
(13:39):
This is Countdown with Keith Olberman still ahead on Countdown.
Top ten names for puppies for two, You bet I'm interested?
And if you don't, think sports and politics are attached
at the hip one of the accelerators of the anti
government protests in China the broadcasts of the World Cup
(14:03):
soccer tournament in tar And speaking of those World Cup broadcasts,
do you like Alexei Lialiss work for Fox? Well, let's
say yes and a let's say new Either way, I
did a commercial with him, and boy is that a
story coming up first? In each edition of Countdown, we
feature a dog in need you can help. Every dog
has its day. In New York, Luca's family became homeless,
(14:26):
and for some reason we think that's a good enough
reason to kill him. A year old, he needs to
be a solo dog, but he loves his humans, all humans.
He loves playing, and you can help save him. Remember
Elaine Boosler's offer to help underwrite your expenses if you
adopt Luca off the kill list in New York. If
you can help or just retweet, Luca will be the
(14:46):
pinned tweet at tom Jumbo Grumbo and also in my
personal feed I thank you and Luca thanks you. Postscripts
to the news, some headlines, some updates, some snarks, some predictions. Dateline, Washington,
(15:10):
Kelly and con Job testifies to the January sixth Committee
five hours on the record. CNN says it was mostly
about reports in several of the what is It Now
seven thirty nine seven or thirty nine seven, forty seven
forty different Trump tell All books that Kelly Ann con
Job quoted Trump to acquaintances as saying he wondered aloud
(15:34):
how he could have lost to effing Joe Biden in
the weeks before the Republicans put them out of business.
The January six Committee is desperately trying to establish under
oath that Trump knew he lost the election and inspired
the coup attempts. Anyway and Dateline Seattle, The new list
is out. Which new list? The most popular names for
(15:56):
American dogs and cats, puppies and kittens. Courtesy rover dot com.
You bet the big takeaway them is popular name for
female dogs is Luna, and the most popular name for
female cats is also Luna. Luna just replaced Bella among
(16:16):
girl dogs. The rest of that top ten Daisy, Lucy, Lily, Zoe, Lola,
Sadie Bailey, and Stella Stella. Top ten male dog names,
Max Again, Charlie, Cooper, Milo, Buddy, Rocky Bear, Teddy, Duke, Leo,
(16:37):
Oliver and Milo are the top two among male cats,
as to Teddy, placing eighth among the male dogs. My
guy Ted says, I guess so this is Sports Center.
(17:04):
Wait check that not anymore. This is countdown with Keith
in Sports. Next time somebody tells you sports is not
political or should not be asked them about this. Several
analysts agree the anti government protests in China accelerated when
(17:25):
Chinese soccer fans saw the first World Cup game broadcasts
from Qatar and they saw spectators there who were not
required to wear masks. The government had not informed them
that there were countries that had moved past masks scored
at least mandatory masks. If you have any doubts that
this story is true, the BBC lead correspondent in China,
(17:48):
Stephen McDonnell, reporting, quote, China Central Television is editing out
close ups of spectators in its coverage of the World Cup,
so Chinese viewers don't see thousands of fans without masks. Also,
an Iranian woman has been ex felt from one of
those stadiums for wearing a shirt reading women Life Freedom.
(18:09):
They also banned two idiots from England who are dressed
as medieval crusaders, complete with chain mail and helmets, who
apparently did not think it would bother anybody in the
Middle East, where the British and English crusaders, you know, crusaded.
A little closer to home, baseball's most underrated run producer
is changing teams. Jose bray U eight hundred sixty three RBI,
(18:33):
the second most since he came to the majors in
two thousand fourteen, signing with the Astros as a free agent.
His old team, the White Sox under owner Jerry Ryansdorff,
just watching. You know how old Jerry Ryanstorff is. He's
two hundred and six. Thank you, Nancy Faust, and you're welcome,
(19:10):
Nancy Faust. A baseball deal that may happen, and may
happen soon. The free agent Dodgers shortstop trade Turner to
the Phillies. The Dodgers also reportedly met with free agent
pitcher Justin Verlander yesterday, most recently of Houston. Oh you
know how old Justin Verlander is, what do you mean
(19:30):
two six? He'll be forty Twitter and six, Twitter and six.
It's the dumbest thing I ever heard. Who said two
uter and six? Where you get a idea like that? Ahead,
(19:51):
Alexei Lalis is back in the news. I did a
commercial with him in six It was, frankly one of
the most fun things I've ever done in my career.
How often do you get to smash a guitar? Details
and the backstory of that smashed guitar and what happened
to it? Coming up first, the daily roundup of the miscreants,
(20:14):
morons and done in Kruger Effect specimens. Who constitute today's
worst persons in the world the Bronze If you missed it,
Senator Marsha Blackburn of Tennessee, possibly the stupidest person in America,
put out a holiday baking video. Well guess what turns out?
She can't send it and she can't cook. Senator Blackburn
(20:36):
told viewers to make cookies on wax paper, pre set
the oven to three degrees, and then put the cookies
and the wax paper into the oven. They must have
to keep a fire engine parked outside her House runner
up Jamie Mitchell of quote Gaze against groomers with a
solution to homophobic shootings like the one in Colorado Springs. Quote,
(21:01):
I don't think it's gonna stop until we end this
agenda that is attacking children, which swapping a couple of
words is exactly what white people in the South said
about lynchings in the nineteen thirties. It's not just blaming
the victim. It is a veiled threat to continue to
kill the victims. And by the way, it's not that
veiled but our winners right wing stooge Stephen Crowder and
(21:25):
Elon Musk, also right wing stooge. Crowder tweets a screenshot
from something called Rebel News which reads Antifa extremist Stage
plans to burn down Tesla outlets for following Twitter bands.
Crowder adds the tolerant lift. First off, it's rebel News,
(21:47):
which is a propaganda site run by Canada's Really the
word I want here is challenged right winger ezra Levant.
But secondly, even if that were true, Antifa extremist stage
plans to burn down Tesla outlets following Twitter bands going
to the trouble of burning those things down would be unnecessary.
I mean, if anybody wants Elon Musk's tesla outlets to
(22:09):
burn down, you just stand there and wait until the
tesla's themselves spontaneously combust. Stephen convinced me I'm wrong. You
were born wrong, Crowder and Ellen. If my guns look
like my cause, don't anybody stand near me? Musk Today's
worst Persons and the world to the number one story
(22:44):
on the countdown on my favorite topic, me and things
I promised not to tell. And with the World Cup continuing,
I don't know if you think of that as good
news or bad news. I told you one ESPN World
Cup story last week, the saga of the well intentioned
Gary Miller going the extra mile to try to explain
the surfeit of red card penalties to the u S
audience during the soccer tournament, only to come a cropper
(23:08):
when he had to pronounce such names as Rigger, Bert
Bhang's Song and John Luca Polyuka and Babetto, and thus
creating the infamous soccer breakdown outtake tape. But there is
a second story worth telling about the World Cup, and
I was reminded of it when the long knives of
social media came out last week for Fox Sports World
(23:31):
Cup analysts and long ago American star Alexei Lalis. The
World Cup did not really do that much for American soccer,
which as you know, is the sport of the future
in this country and always will be. It did make
a lot of Americans into fans, but fans of European clubs,
especially the British clubs. But for a while, Alexei Lalas
(23:54):
with his shoulder length reddish blonde hair and his billy
goat beard and his anti establishment vibe, he was on
the front burners of American sports. So naturally ESPN wanted
him for the surrealist fake documentary commercials called This is
Sports Center, and sure enough he came to Bristol and
they devised a bid in which Gary Miller, John Luca
(24:16):
Polycas Gary Miller would be sitting at a desk in
the Sports Center newsroom as a top the adjoining desk,
Lallis sat cross legged, philosophizing on relaxation and vibes, and
finally playing Michael Rowe the boat Ashore on his guitar.
At that point the commercial turned into one of the
classic scenes from John Belushi's Animal House film, another sportscaster
(24:40):
was to storm into the newsroom, pull the guitar out
of Lallis's hands, and then smash it against a cubicle
wall with the greatest grunt he could achieve, and then
hand Lallis back whatever was left of the guitar, and
like Belushi, say sorry. Well, they asked me to be
the other sportscaster who smashes the guitar. So picture that
(25:03):
in your mom mind as I play what it sounded
like for twenty seconds or so. And then I have
what I think is a really good backstory about the
filming of this one. And I've been talking to you
all afternoon about the tension, about the darkness. We gotta
do something about that, Michael wrote, for time's sake, the
(25:40):
word sorry didn't make it. So the backstory, and it's
out of chronological order. The guitar that Alexei Laois was
playing was not the one I smashed. There was an
exact duplicate that had been bought. It had been taken apart,
it had been sawed, and basically it was put back
together with scotch tape. It would hold together long enough
for him to strum a few sour notes on it
(26:03):
and then for me to grab it and smash it.
They were confident it would not fly apart until I
hit the cubicle wall with it, but they still told
me to simply grab it, not yanket out of his hands,
or I might be left holding the neck of the
guitar and Alexey holding the rest of it. This was
especially problematic because we only had the one prop guitar.
(26:26):
That's right, We made the business end of that commercial
in one take. The this is Sports Center campaign not
only frequently achieved something approaching genius levels of originality and creativity,
but they were all done cheaper than local news promos
in Burlington, Vermont. In two we often shot three of
(26:47):
these commercials in one day, and it wasn't until the
second series of ads did the Sports Center anchors who
start in one or two or three even get credit
for a day off. In one of them, Charlie Sneiner
is trying to get his tape of highlights back from
the Harlem Globe trotters who are passing it around like
a basketball, and he says a little help that I'm
(27:09):
typing away at my computer, and I say sure, Charlie,
and I don't even look at him, let alone stop typing,
let alone give many help. And that's done because the
commercial was shot in the area right behind my desk,
because nobody was working there that day except me, and
it was around five PM, and I was, in fact
sitting at my desk writing the eleven PM Sports Center script.
(27:32):
And the original commercial script did not call for me
to even be in Charlie's commercial. But on the fly
the writer said, hey, Keith, can you give us one line?
And I said, as long as I can keep writing,
and they said perfect. And by the way, Charlie did
the commercial around five o'clock or so and then went
and anchored the six PM Sports Center. The spot we
(27:54):
did where hockey legend Gordy how beats me up while
I am trying to read through a script also shot
at my desk, also on a day I was anchoring
the show, and that was my real script. Anyway, back
to alex A. Lalis and the guitar, so we only
had the one prop guitar, and so we only had
the one take, and we were shooting it in the
(28:15):
actual Sports Center newsroom of course, in fact, they were
remodeling the real news room to accommodate the launch of
the new ESPN News network. So this was the temporary
even more crowded than usual newsroom. So the cameraman and
the producer and the writer and I walked through how
they thought it would work best, since I would have
to weave pass people who were really doing their jobs
(28:38):
and going to other deaths and talking to people and stuff.
They had two cameras in the little hallway that constituted
the temporary newsrooms northern border, and they put a third,
smaller camera on the floor where they guessed that a
piece of the guitar might land after I smashed it.
See if you can get the fret or something to
go here. The producer said that would make a great shot.
(29:00):
I asked him how in the hell I was supposed
to do that since we couldn't even practice the smash.
He said, well, honestly, I don't know. Telepathy. Maybe that
was the other salient part of the back story, since
we only had the one take and we wouldn't need
me doing a dry run because they didn't want the
guitar to fall apart in my hands. I would say
less than half the people crowded into the temporary newsroom
(29:23):
had any idea that when I came in i was
in the commercial let alone, that I was going to
actually and loudly destroy a guitar by smashing it against
a low cubicle wall. Even if the guitar has been
pre broken and taped back together, as that one was,
it is still going to make a lot of noise. Wait.
(29:45):
I said to my friend Hank, who wrote it. You're
not warning anybody, are you, your little devil? Hank got
a gleeful, evil glazed look in his eyes. No, isn't
that great. So they filmed the close ups of Gary,
and they filmed the close ups of Alexei. And then
they set me up to EDITR from a vestibule through
two swinging doors with windows in them, which was along
(30:05):
the periphery of the temporary newsroom. Then a right turn
and then about no, no fift to where Alexey and
Gary were still sitting. My target for exactly where I
should hit the guitar was clearly marked on the cubicle wall,
and they even put marks on the carpet of where
a couple of practice walks at shown would give me
the best chance at a solid stance when I swung
(30:26):
the guitar and sent it l kabonging to its doom,
and nobody ever said quiet role or here we go.
They told people in the room that they were just
shooting some cover angles on Gary and Alexei, and people
could say or move whatever and wherever they wanted to,
just along. They didn't get away of the cameras. Then
(30:49):
they just tapped the desks for Alexey and Gary to start,
and the producer waved to me and in I went,
trying to channel John Belushi when he takes the guitar
away from Stephen Bishop on the stairs of the Front
House and Animal House. I furrowed my brow and I
tried to fake some inem towards Alexei Lalis. I found
the emotion as I came through the doors. I kept
(31:10):
thinking that since I had been eight years old, I
had heard people call soccer the sport of the future
here and I was now thirty seven, and I was
damn tired of hearing it. Lallis was strumming on the
nearly neutered prop guitar. It made a sick sound. I
took my strides, I hit the marks, I grabbed the
guitar by the neck with my right hand and simultaneously
(31:30):
Alexei let go, and then with both hands, I swung
the guitar back over my head and smashed it right
on the mark. As you heard Michael Road. The Sports
(31:53):
Center newsroom promptly went silent for several seconds. The reaction
was identical to what it would have been had there
been no commercial being made and no cameras present. And
I just walked in and destroyed somebody's guitar, which I
guess a lot of people expected I might do someday,
because even a lot of the people who were surprised,
(32:14):
we're not surprised surprised. Craig Wax, the skinny research guy,
can be seen in the finished commercial, which is on YouTube,
for a second far left, just staring at me, like, yeah, well,
we always knew Keith would do something like that. After
I destroyed the guitar, and I have to say, I
did it really well. I kept moving for the plan
(32:36):
until I walked back through the swinging doors and out
of shot. The directors shouted cut. I walked back in,
and the crew gave me a round of applause, and
a couple of them were cheering out of all proportion,
even if I had done a good of a job
as I thought, came here, came here. The cameraman kept saying,
come here. That extra camera on the floor, They backed
(32:57):
the video tape up from it, and they showed it
to me. When I smashed the guitar, the fretboard, the
actual wood and metal piece on the neck flew off
and not only landed near the third camera's lens, it
hit it on the fly and it's stuck there. They
were as happy as if they were engineers imploding a
(33:17):
building for the first time and it had fallen exactly
as they had hoped. Plus, they showed me the playback
from the first camera, and there was an assignment desk
editor with her back to the action on the phone,
completely unaware of what was happening or even that they
were rolling film and videotape, and she literally jumped several
inches out of her seat of her chair. But to me,
(33:40):
the best part of this thing is Gary Miller. Even
if you know a loud noise is coming, it is
quite the effort to not flinch a little when it
happens basically right over your shoulder. I mean, ask the
little kid in the movie North by Northwest where even
Marie sat shoots carry Grant and he sticks his fingers
(34:02):
in his ears because it's take thirty seven and he
knows the noise is coming. I mean, you're aware of
it just for the possibility that somebody will screw it
up like me and debris will fly into the back
of your head. But if you watch Gary Miller in
this Sports Center commercial, he didn't even blink, just a
little dead pan head jerk. It's perfect. What also amazes
(34:27):
me is that we got all this done in twenty
four seconds of running time. Alexei goes on about negativity,
how they have to do something about it. He plays
enough of the song that you recognize it. You got
a shot at cheerleaders incongruously in the middle of the background.
I appear from nowhere, move over there, smash the guitar
while roaring spectacularly. I give him back the neck of
the thing. The only thing missing is that shot from
(34:48):
the fret bar flying into camera three. They explained they
didn't have the extra two seconds seen. I remember enjoying
doing this so much that I asked them for the
front of the body of the guitar, and I had
Alexei signed it to me on the spot. It framed
in my various offices for about fifteen years. In two
(35:09):
thousand fourteen, I was leaving the recording of Stephen Colbert's
final episode for Comedy Central. I was one of a
hundred guests, and I went out onto the street to
find a cab home and I got one, and in
getting into it, I nearly ran into Alexei Lalas, who
was one of the other hundred guests. I laughed, He laughed,
and he said, and I don't even have my guitar
with me. And one last note, I doubt this will
(35:32):
be of any practical use to you, but I must say,
as somebody who was accorded this rare privilege, not only
of doing this, but of doing this with impunity, and
doing this to applause. If you are trying to healthily
vent any frustrations or anger in your life, smashing a
(35:53):
guitar against a workplace cubicle wall is exactly as satisfying
as you would expect it would be. I've done all
(36:15):
the damage I can do here in this case. Literally.
Thanks for listening. If you're not following or subscribed or
whatever to this podcast, please do so, and stop past
your buy in the street and get them too as well.
Here are our credits. Most of the music, including our
theme from Beethoven's Ninth, was arranged, produced, and performed by
Brian Ray and John Philip Chanelle. They are the Countdown
(36:35):
musical directors. All orchestration and keyboards by John Philip Chanelle.
Guitars except for the alex A. Lalas guitar, bass and
drums by Brian Ray, produced by t Ko Brothers. Other
Beethoven selections I've been arranged and performed by No Horns allowed.
The sports music is the Overman theme from me ESPN two,
and it was written by Mitch Warren Davis courtesy of
(36:57):
ESPN Inc. Musical comments by Nancy Faust. The best baseball
stadium organist ever. Our announcer today was Tony Kornheiser. Everything
else is pretty much my fault. So that's countdown for this,
the six d ninety three day since Donald Trump's first
attempted coup against the democratically elected government of the United States.
Arrest him now while we still can. A new addition
(37:19):
tomorrow until ben On Keith ol Reman, Good morning, good afternoon,
good night, and good Luck. Countdown with Keith ol Reman
is a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts
from I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app,
(37:40):
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of I Heart Radio.
I think I think Republicans may see a window to
(00:30):
exorcize Donald Trump from their party over the dinner with
Nick Fuentes and Kanye West. I think his vice president,
his envoy against anti Semitism. At least a dozen Republican
senators others all stampeding towards the Trumpian exit yesterday and
last night, and only a few of them even bothering
(00:52):
to try to both sides it as they climbed all
over each other to get to the door and pretend
to actually give a crap Relax, I am not interested in.
They're very flexible and utterly reversible and completely transparent morals.
They did this with the Access Hollywood tape too. They
don't care. Trump doesn't care. This is not about caring.
(01:16):
This is not about what's right. This is about the
political calculus. And if the cards continue to fall the
way they did yesterday, Trump will not be the Republican
nominee in two and that means Trump will become a
third party candidate because he has to. And this we want.
What matters right now is the language This time sounds
(01:39):
more like driving multiple stakes through the heart of the vampire,
and many key Republicans said important, albeit insincere and hypocritical
things about him not belonging in the party. This is
from Rick Scott, who a week ago today was running
point against Mitch McConnell for Donald Trump, and then a
(02:01):
week ago tonight, Trump had Kanye West and Nick Plente's
over to dinner quote, there's no room in the Republican
Party for white supremacy anti semitism. Should Trump then condemn
Puente's and or West. I think Republicans should all condemn
white supremacy and anti semitism. Senator Bill Cassidy of Louisiana.
(02:23):
President Trump hosting racist anti semites for dinner encourages other
racist anti semites. These attitudes are immoral and should not
be entertained. This is not the Republican Party. Well, uh,
yeah it is, but that's not important right now. The
(02:44):
version of that quote with ellipses is Trump dot dot
dot is not the Republican Party. Mitt Romney now with
new beard in progress, condemning and then adding quote, I
certainly don't want him hanging over our party like a gargoyle.
Let me repeat the key point. This is not about
(03:06):
Republican morals. There are no Republican morals. This is about reality.
If there are one hundred methods to keep Donald Trump
from returning to the wine house, and another hundred methods
to keep any Republican out, responsible, non fascist Americans have
to step on the gas on all two hundred methods simultaneously,
(03:27):
and one of them is the reminder that the best
odds of doing both of these things at the same
time is getting somebody else the Republican nomination and thus
forcing Trump onto a third party ticket, because Trump will
run under indictment. He would run from jail. Hell, there
are times I begin to think Trump might run posthumously anyway,
(03:52):
just as many Republicans went halfway. That must be said it.
It had to be somebody else's fault. Trump couldn't be
that evil, or they whispered, that's stupid. On Thune. I
don't know who's advising him on his staff, but I
hope that whoever that person it was got fired. The person,
(04:13):
of course is Trump. We all know that, John, Thank you,
Senator Tom Tillis. If the reports are true and the
President didn't know who he Fuentes was, whoever let him
in the room, should be fired. And that is actually
a lot less mealy mouthed than it sounds, because Tillis
is implying, if the reports are not true, the whoever
let him in the room was Trump, as we know
(04:35):
it was, and till Us is this close to saying
it's Trump who should be fired. John Cordon even called
it bad or perhaps that was Ted Cruz and Cornin
just cut and pasted Cruises remark, Senator Capito, ridiculous you
would do something with someone who espouses those views. Senator Ernst,
it is really ridiculous that he would do that. Senator Fisher,
(04:58):
I think it's wrong anytime you elevate comments that that
person says. Even Senator Susan Collins Trump quote should never
have had a meal or even a meeting with Nick Fuentes, which,
as an asside, goes into the Susan Collins Hall of
Fame because it implies that the meal among anti Semites
is far worse than a meeting among anti Semites. Marco
(05:22):
Rubio called Fuentes a quote ass clown unquote, but insisted
Trump is not an anti Semite. Spoiler alert, Sure he is.
Rubio said he hoped Trump would condemn Fuentes, Josh running
Man Holly, and Congressman Comber of the Maryland Thomas Allegations
(05:42):
tried to swerve it back to alon Omar and Holly.
The nitwit then went further and added, he supposed Trump
quote can have dinner with whomever he wants to. But
is interesting as anything said yesterday, and it is a
shocker considering the boiler plate pablum for which this guy
seems to be the exclusive American distributor what said by
(06:05):
Mike Pence. He went all extremes. There is no middle
in his statement about Trump and Fuentes and West of Trump,
he says, quote, I think he should apologize for it,
and he should denounce those individuals and their hateful rhetoric
without qualification. Then the nonsense at the other end of
(06:28):
the spectrum, echoing Rubio, I don't believe Donald Trump is
an anti Semite. I don't believe he's a racist or
a bigot. I would not have been his vice president
if he was. Mike, of course you would have. You
did for fourteen days after he encouraged his thugs to
hang you. I would not have been his vice president.
(06:51):
He would have been his vice president if he'd set
you on fire on day one. But Pence insisting Trump
should apologize circles back to my point. The Republicans are
useful in this society only because they individually and actively
describe the paths of their own political landscape, with none
of those cumbersome morals or values or laws getting in
(07:15):
the way of the pure, grunting thrust of their individual
lusts for power. Pence insists on an apology from Trump
about twenty's and West because Pence thinks his chances of
the presidential nomination are increased by insisting on an apology.
Just as Rick Scott said there is no room in
the Republican Party because somebody told him his chances of
(07:36):
becoming minority leader would shoot upwards if he did. Just
as Ron De Santis saying nothing is because that serves
him best, and Lindsey Graham and Ted Cruz, just as
Kevin McCarthy saying nothing, I guess saves him from yet
a third or fourth coat of that paint being applied
(07:56):
to the corner he has painted himself into. McCarthy if
he even can secure the speakership promised to Yank Congre
Somemen omar Off of her committees because of what the
Republicans falsely claim is her anti Semitism. Trump is strategizing
with his fellow anti Semites and tarring the Republican Party
with the stain, and McCarthy may not be able to
(08:18):
get away with silence, but it's his best bet given
the Omar situation. And then there is one more, even
more abject political calculation that shows where Trump stands after
the Fluentes fiasco, how much damage he has done to
(08:38):
himself in a week's time, and the mouth watering prospect
of the Republicans splitting into a mainstream party that nominates
somebody like de Santis and the completely crazy offshoot that
gets of the vote and sends a Democrat comfortably into
the White House in two years. Nobody is coming out
(09:00):
and saying Nick Fluentes is the direct cause of this
last abject political calculation. Lord knows Trump had already done
enough this month to make himself a political albatross in
real time, but the timing of this is more than
well just timing. Let me just quote this out of
the New York Times from last night. Donald J. Trump
(09:22):
will not cross the Florida state line to campaign with
herschel Walker during the final week of the Georgia Senate
runoff election, after both camps decided decided the former president's
appearance carried more political risks than rewards. Campaign officials for
the two Republicans said on Monday, when herschel Walker doesn't
(09:46):
want you to be seen anywhere near his erection, well,
first of all, this election is more than harseelwalk des
erection about the people. Well, first of all, this election
is more than herseelwalk des erections about the people. Well,
first of all, this election is more than herseelwalk des
erection about the people. Well. As a footnote to this,
(10:07):
at first, blush, it is kind of amazing that all
the Republican blowback is about Nick Fuentes and almost none
of it mentions Kanye West by name. I guess focus
groups in the Senate, in the House, and elsewhere in
the GOP say there is still some sort of overlap
between Republican voters and Kanye West bands. Please note West
(10:30):
and Fluentes were on a live stream last night, and
when the host would not instantly agree with West that
the media is run by the Jews to use their
terms and that those terms media and Jews are interchangeable.
When the host just stopped for almost literally a second
to say that the words were not entirely synonymous, Kanye
(10:52):
West got up and walked off the set because there
was not immediate agreement with his perfect rounded, well formed
anti semitism and hate the scum bag. And lastly, there
is Trump himself, joyfully back from his brief collision with
reality during his official announcement that he was running and
(11:14):
finding a nice juicy delusion to cower behind, dismissive and
offhand about twenty's and West and the dinner over the weekend,
and of course, as ever the real victim here, he
has now gone radio silent on these topics and instead
happily posted yet another confession in the nuclear documents gleptomania
case quote, when will you invade the other president's homes
(11:38):
in search of documents which are voluminous which they took
with them, but not nearly so openly and transparently as
I did? Subtracting the usual Trump crap for brains pretzel
logic from that sentence, Trump just admitted heat not only
took documents, but did so openly. That is such a
(12:01):
confession that even Jack Smith than Merrick Garland may have
noticed it. It is such a confession that I am
half expecting a quote today reading These attitudes about taking
documents are immoral and should not be entertained. This is
not the Republican Party, coming from Nick Fuentes. Still ahead
(12:36):
of curious twist in the other Trump saga because the
January sixth Committee takes five hours of testimony on the
record from Kelly an con job. The World Cup, the
soccer tournament may have triggered, at least it accelerated the
anti government protests in China. We know that because of
(12:57):
something the Chinese have done and in things I promised
not to tell. Have you heard the Fox Sports World
Cup commentator Alexey Lallis, the former player. A lot of
people are complaining me. I did a commercial with Alexei
Lallis a quarter century ago, and he was a gas
and I got to destroy his guitar in the middle
(13:18):
of the crowded and largely unprepared for it. ESPN Newsroom,
Come on, if you want to enjoy yourself, destroying a
guitar in the middle of a crowded workplace is really
near the top of your list. That's next. This is Countdown.
(13:39):
This is Countdown with Keith Olberman still ahead on Countdown.
Top ten names for puppies for two, You bet I'm interested?
And if you don't, think sports and politics are attached
at the hip one of the accelerators of the anti
government protests in China the broadcasts of the World Cup
(14:03):
soccer tournament in tar And speaking of those World Cup broadcasts,
do you like Alexei Lialiss work for Fox? Well, let's
say yes and a let's say new Either way, I
did a commercial with him, and boy is that a
story coming up first? In each edition of Countdown, we
feature a dog in need you can help. Every dog
has its day. In New York, Luca's family became homeless,
(14:26):
and for some reason we think that's a good enough
reason to kill him. A year old, he needs to
be a solo dog, but he loves his humans, all humans.
He loves playing, and you can help save him. Remember
Elaine Boosler's offer to help underwrite your expenses if you
adopt Luca off the kill list in New York. If
you can help or just retweet, Luca will be the
(14:46):
pinned tweet at tom Jumbo Grumbo and also in my
personal feed I thank you and Luca thanks you. Postscripts
to the news, some headlines, some updates, some snarks, some predictions. Dateline, Washington,
(15:10):
Kelly and con Job testifies to the January sixth Committee
five hours on the record. CNN says it was mostly
about reports in several of the what is It Now
seven thirty nine seven or thirty nine seven, forty seven
forty different Trump tell All books that Kelly Ann con
Job quoted Trump to acquaintances as saying he wondered aloud
(15:34):
how he could have lost to effing Joe Biden in
the weeks before the Republicans put them out of business.
The January six Committee is desperately trying to establish under
oath that Trump knew he lost the election and inspired
the coup attempts. Anyway and Dateline Seattle, The new list
is out. Which new list? The most popular names for
(15:56):
American dogs and cats, puppies and kittens. Courtesy rover dot com.
You bet the big takeaway them is popular name for
female dogs is Luna, and the most popular name for
female cats is also Luna. Luna just replaced Bella among
(16:16):
girl dogs. The rest of that top ten Daisy, Lucy, Lily, Zoe, Lola,
Sadie Bailey, and Stella Stella. Top ten male dog names,
Max Again, Charlie, Cooper, Milo, Buddy, Rocky Bear, Teddy, Duke, Leo,
(16:37):
Oliver and Milo are the top two among male cats,
as to Teddy, placing eighth among the male dogs. My
guy Ted says, I guess so this is Sports Center.
(17:04):
Wait check that not anymore. This is countdown with Keith
in Sports. Next time somebody tells you sports is not
political or should not be asked them about this. Several
analysts agree the anti government protests in China accelerated when
(17:25):
Chinese soccer fans saw the first World Cup game broadcasts
from Qatar and they saw spectators there who were not
required to wear masks. The government had not informed them
that there were countries that had moved past masks scored
at least mandatory masks. If you have any doubts that
this story is true, the BBC lead correspondent in China,
(17:48):
Stephen McDonnell, reporting, quote, China Central Television is editing out
close ups of spectators in its coverage of the World Cup,
so Chinese viewers don't see thousands of fans without masks. Also,
an Iranian woman has been ex felt from one of
those stadiums for wearing a shirt reading women Life Freedom.
(18:09):
They also banned two idiots from England who are dressed
as medieval crusaders, complete with chain mail and helmets, who
apparently did not think it would bother anybody in the
Middle East, where the British and English crusaders, you know, crusaded.
A little closer to home, baseball's most underrated run producer
is changing teams. Jose bray U eight hundred sixty three RBI,
(18:33):
the second most since he came to the majors in
two thousand fourteen, signing with the Astros as a free agent.
His old team, the White Sox under owner Jerry Ryansdorff,
just watching. You know how old Jerry Ryanstorff is. He's
two hundred and six. Thank you, Nancy Faust, and you're welcome,
(19:10):
Nancy Faust. A baseball deal that may happen, and may
happen soon. The free agent Dodgers shortstop trade Turner to
the Phillies. The Dodgers also reportedly met with free agent
pitcher Justin Verlander yesterday, most recently of Houston. Oh you
know how old Justin Verlander is, what do you mean
(19:30):
two six? He'll be forty Twitter and six, Twitter and six.
It's the dumbest thing I ever heard. Who said two
uter and six? Where you get a idea like that? Ahead,
(19:51):
Alexei Lalis is back in the news. I did a
commercial with him in six It was, frankly one of
the most fun things I've ever done in my career.
How often do you get to smash a guitar? Details
and the backstory of that smashed guitar and what happened
to it? Coming up first, the daily roundup of the miscreants,
(20:14):
morons and done in Kruger Effect specimens. Who constitute today's
worst persons in the world the Bronze If you missed it,
Senator Marsha Blackburn of Tennessee, possibly the stupidest person in America,
put out a holiday baking video. Well guess what turns out?
She can't send it and she can't cook. Senator Blackburn
(20:36):
told viewers to make cookies on wax paper, pre set
the oven to three degrees, and then put the cookies
and the wax paper into the oven. They must have
to keep a fire engine parked outside her House runner
up Jamie Mitchell of quote Gaze against groomers with a
solution to homophobic shootings like the one in Colorado Springs. Quote,
(21:01):
I don't think it's gonna stop until we end this
agenda that is attacking children, which swapping a couple of
words is exactly what white people in the South said
about lynchings in the nineteen thirties. It's not just blaming
the victim. It is a veiled threat to continue to
kill the victims. And by the way, it's not that
veiled but our winners right wing stooge Stephen Crowder and
(21:25):
Elon Musk, also right wing stooge. Crowder tweets a screenshot
from something called Rebel News which reads Antifa extremist Stage
plans to burn down Tesla outlets for following Twitter bands.
Crowder adds the tolerant lift. First off, it's rebel News,
(21:47):
which is a propaganda site run by Canada's Really the
word I want here is challenged right winger ezra Levant.
But secondly, even if that were true, Antifa extremist stage
plans to burn down Tesla outlets following Twitter bands going
to the trouble of burning those things down would be unnecessary.
I mean, if anybody wants Elon Musk's tesla outlets to
(22:09):
burn down, you just stand there and wait until the
tesla's themselves spontaneously combust. Stephen convinced me I'm wrong. You
were born wrong, Crowder and Ellen. If my guns look
like my cause, don't anybody stand near me? Musk Today's
worst Persons and the world to the number one story
(22:44):
on the countdown on my favorite topic, me and things
I promised not to tell. And with the World Cup continuing,
I don't know if you think of that as good
news or bad news. I told you one ESPN World
Cup story last week, the saga of the well intentioned
Gary Miller going the extra mile to try to explain
the surfeit of red card penalties to the u S
audience during the soccer tournament, only to come a cropper
(23:08):
when he had to pronounce such names as Rigger, Bert
Bhang's Song and John Luca Polyuka and Babetto, and thus
creating the infamous soccer breakdown outtake tape. But there is
a second story worth telling about the World Cup, and
I was reminded of it when the long knives of
social media came out last week for Fox Sports World
(23:31):
Cup analysts and long ago American star Alexei Lalis. The
World Cup did not really do that much for American soccer,
which as you know, is the sport of the future
in this country and always will be. It did make
a lot of Americans into fans, but fans of European clubs,
especially the British clubs. But for a while, Alexei Lalas
(23:54):
with his shoulder length reddish blonde hair and his billy
goat beard and his anti establishment vibe, he was on
the front burners of American sports. So naturally ESPN wanted
him for the surrealist fake documentary commercials called This is
Sports Center, and sure enough he came to Bristol and
they devised a bid in which Gary Miller, John Luca
(24:16):
Polycas Gary Miller would be sitting at a desk in
the Sports Center newsroom as a top the adjoining desk,
Lallis sat cross legged, philosophizing on relaxation and vibes, and
finally playing Michael Rowe the boat Ashore on his guitar.
At that point the commercial turned into one of the
classic scenes from John Belushi's Animal House film, another sportscaster
(24:40):
was to storm into the newsroom, pull the guitar out
of Lallis's hands, and then smash it against a cubicle
wall with the greatest grunt he could achieve, and then
hand Lallis back whatever was left of the guitar, and
like Belushi, say sorry. Well, they asked me to be
the other sportscaster who smashes the guitar. So picture that
(25:03):
in your mom mind as I play what it sounded
like for twenty seconds or so. And then I have
what I think is a really good backstory about the
filming of this one. And I've been talking to you
all afternoon about the tension, about the darkness. We gotta
do something about that, Michael wrote, for time's sake, the
(25:40):
word sorry didn't make it. So the backstory, and it's
out of chronological order. The guitar that Alexei Laois was
playing was not the one I smashed. There was an
exact duplicate that had been bought. It had been taken apart,
it had been sawed, and basically it was put back
together with scotch tape. It would hold together long enough
for him to strum a few sour notes on it
(26:03):
and then for me to grab it and smash it.
They were confident it would not fly apart until I
hit the cubicle wall with it, but they still told
me to simply grab it, not yanket out of his hands,
or I might be left holding the neck of the
guitar and Alexey holding the rest of it. This was
especially problematic because we only had the one prop guitar.
(26:26):
That's right, We made the business end of that commercial
in one take. The this is Sports Center campaign not
only frequently achieved something approaching genius levels of originality and creativity,
but they were all done cheaper than local news promos
in Burlington, Vermont. In two we often shot three of
(26:47):
these commercials in one day, and it wasn't until the
second series of ads did the Sports Center anchors who
start in one or two or three even get credit
for a day off. In one of them, Charlie Sneiner
is trying to get his tape of highlights back from
the Harlem Globe trotters who are passing it around like
a basketball, and he says a little help that I'm
(27:09):
typing away at my computer, and I say sure, Charlie,
and I don't even look at him, let alone stop typing,
let alone give many help. And that's done because the
commercial was shot in the area right behind my desk,
because nobody was working there that day except me, and
it was around five PM, and I was, in fact
sitting at my desk writing the eleven PM Sports Center script.
(27:32):
And the original commercial script did not call for me
to even be in Charlie's commercial. But on the fly
the writer said, hey, Keith, can you give us one line?
And I said, as long as I can keep writing,
and they said perfect. And by the way, Charlie did
the commercial around five o'clock or so and then went
and anchored the six PM Sports Center. The spot we
(27:54):
did where hockey legend Gordy how beats me up while
I am trying to read through a script also shot
at my desk, also on a day I was anchoring
the show, and that was my real script. Anyway, back
to alex A. Lalis and the guitar, so we only
had the one prop guitar, and so we only had
the one take, and we were shooting it in the
(28:15):
actual Sports Center newsroom of course, in fact, they were
remodeling the real news room to accommodate the launch of
the new ESPN News network. So this was the temporary
even more crowded than usual newsroom. So the cameraman and
the producer and the writer and I walked through how
they thought it would work best, since I would have
to weave pass people who were really doing their jobs
(28:38):
and going to other deaths and talking to people and stuff.
They had two cameras in the little hallway that constituted
the temporary newsrooms northern border, and they put a third,
smaller camera on the floor where they guessed that a
piece of the guitar might land after I smashed it.
See if you can get the fret or something to
go here. The producer said that would make a great shot.
(29:00):
I asked him how in the hell I was supposed
to do that since we couldn't even practice the smash.
He said, well, honestly, I don't know. Telepathy. Maybe that
was the other salient part of the back story, since
we only had the one take and we wouldn't need
me doing a dry run because they didn't want the
guitar to fall apart in my hands. I would say
less than half the people crowded into the temporary newsroom
(29:23):
had any idea that when I came in i was
in the commercial let alone, that I was going to
actually and loudly destroy a guitar by smashing it against
a low cubicle wall. Even if the guitar has been
pre broken and taped back together, as that one was,
it is still going to make a lot of noise. Wait.
(29:45):
I said to my friend Hank, who wrote it. You're
not warning anybody, are you, your little devil? Hank got
a gleeful, evil glazed look in his eyes. No, isn't
that great. So they filmed the close ups of Gary,
and they filmed the close ups of Alexei. And then
they set me up to EDITR from a vestibule through
two swinging doors with windows in them, which was along
(30:05):
the periphery of the temporary newsroom. Then a right turn
and then about no, no fift to where Alexey and
Gary were still sitting. My target for exactly where I
should hit the guitar was clearly marked on the cubicle wall,
and they even put marks on the carpet of where
a couple of practice walks at shown would give me
the best chance at a solid stance when I swung
(30:26):
the guitar and sent it l kabonging to its doom,
and nobody ever said quiet role or here we go.
They told people in the room that they were just
shooting some cover angles on Gary and Alexei, and people
could say or move whatever and wherever they wanted to,
just along. They didn't get away of the cameras. Then
(30:49):
they just tapped the desks for Alexey and Gary to start,
and the producer waved to me and in I went,
trying to channel John Belushi when he takes the guitar
away from Stephen Bishop on the stairs of the Front
House and Animal House. I furrowed my brow and I
tried to fake some inem towards Alexei Lalis. I found
the emotion as I came through the doors. I kept
(31:10):
thinking that since I had been eight years old, I
had heard people call soccer the sport of the future
here and I was now thirty seven, and I was
damn tired of hearing it. Lallis was strumming on the
nearly neutered prop guitar. It made a sick sound. I
took my strides, I hit the marks, I grabbed the
guitar by the neck with my right hand and simultaneously
(31:30):
Alexei let go, and then with both hands, I swung
the guitar back over my head and smashed it right
on the mark. As you heard Michael Road. The Sports
(31:53):
Center newsroom promptly went silent for several seconds. The reaction
was identical to what it would have been had there
been no commercial being made and no cameras present. And
I just walked in and destroyed somebody's guitar, which I
guess a lot of people expected I might do someday,
because even a lot of the people who were surprised,
(32:14):
we're not surprised surprised. Craig Wax, the skinny research guy,
can be seen in the finished commercial, which is on YouTube,
for a second far left, just staring at me, like, yeah, well,
we always knew Keith would do something like that. After
I destroyed the guitar, and I have to say, I
did it really well. I kept moving for the plan
(32:36):
until I walked back through the swinging doors and out
of shot. The directors shouted cut. I walked back in,
and the crew gave me a round of applause, and
a couple of them were cheering out of all proportion,
even if I had done a good of a job
as I thought, came here, came here. The cameraman kept saying,
come here. That extra camera on the floor, They backed
(32:57):
the video tape up from it, and they showed it
to me. When I smashed the guitar, the fretboard, the
actual wood and metal piece on the neck flew off
and not only landed near the third camera's lens, it
hit it on the fly and it's stuck there. They
were as happy as if they were engineers imploding a
(33:17):
building for the first time and it had fallen exactly
as they had hoped. Plus, they showed me the playback
from the first camera, and there was an assignment desk
editor with her back to the action on the phone,
completely unaware of what was happening or even that they
were rolling film and videotape, and she literally jumped several
inches out of her seat of her chair. But to me,
(33:40):
the best part of this thing is Gary Miller. Even
if you know a loud noise is coming, it is
quite the effort to not flinch a little when it
happens basically right over your shoulder. I mean, ask the
little kid in the movie North by Northwest where even
Marie sat shoots carry Grant and he sticks his fingers
(34:02):
in his ears because it's take thirty seven and he
knows the noise is coming. I mean, you're aware of
it just for the possibility that somebody will screw it
up like me and debris will fly into the back
of your head. But if you watch Gary Miller in
this Sports Center commercial, he didn't even blink, just a
little dead pan head jerk. It's perfect. What also amazes
(34:27):
me is that we got all this done in twenty
four seconds of running time. Alexei goes on about negativity,
how they have to do something about it. He plays
enough of the song that you recognize it. You got
a shot at cheerleaders incongruously in the middle of the background.
I appear from nowhere, move over there, smash the guitar
while roaring spectacularly. I give him back the neck of
the thing. The only thing missing is that shot from
(34:48):
the fret bar flying into camera three. They explained they
didn't have the extra two seconds seen. I remember enjoying
doing this so much that I asked them for the
front of the body of the guitar, and I had
Alexei signed it to me on the spot. It framed
in my various offices for about fifteen years. In two
(35:09):
thousand fourteen, I was leaving the recording of Stephen Colbert's
final episode for Comedy Central. I was one of a
hundred guests, and I went out onto the street to
find a cab home and I got one, and in
getting into it, I nearly ran into Alexei Lalas, who
was one of the other hundred guests. I laughed, He laughed,
and he said, and I don't even have my guitar
with me. And one last note, I doubt this will
(35:32):
be of any practical use to you, but I must say,
as somebody who was accorded this rare privilege, not only
of doing this, but of doing this with impunity, and
doing this to applause. If you are trying to healthily
vent any frustrations or anger in your life, smashing a
(35:53):
guitar against a workplace cubicle wall is exactly as satisfying
as you would expect it would be. I've done all
(36:15):
the damage I can do here in this case. Literally.
Thanks for listening. If you're not following or subscribed or
whatever to this podcast, please do so, and stop past
your buy in the street and get them too as well.
Here are our credits. Most of the music, including our
theme from Beethoven's Ninth, was arranged, produced, and performed by
Brian Ray and John Philip Chanelle. They are the Countdown
(36:35):
musical directors. All orchestration and keyboards by John Philip Chanelle.
Guitars except for the alex A. Lalas guitar, bass and
drums by Brian Ray, produced by t Ko Brothers. Other
Beethoven selections I've been arranged and performed by No Horns allowed.
The sports music is the Overman theme from me ESPN two,
and it was written by Mitch Warren Davis courtesy of
(36:57):
ESPN Inc. Musical comments by Nancy Faust. The best baseball
stadium organist ever. Our announcer today was Tony Kornheiser. Everything
else is pretty much my fault. So that's countdown for this,
the six d ninety three day since Donald Trump's first
attempted coup against the democratically elected government of the United States.
Arrest him now while we still can. A new addition
(37:19):
tomorrow until ben On Keith ol Reman, Good morning, good afternoon,
good night, and good Luck. Countdown with Keith ol Reman
is a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts
from I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app,
(37:40):
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Host
Keith Olbermann
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