January 5, 2023 • 36 mins
EPISODE 106: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
A-Block (1:44) SPECAL COMMENT: OK, you guys. I got it. I got the solution to the Republican debacle over the endless Sisyphean votes for Speaker of the House. BEFORE Congress convenes at Noon, Democratic Leader Hakeem Jeffries walks into Kevin McCarthy's office and says "Kevin! Do you WANT to be Speaker? Do you REALLY want to Speaker? I can MAKE you Speaker. Right now." And he hands him a small index card which reads "212 DEMOCRATIC VOTES" and then he says...
B-Block (15:23) EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY: The Mt. Vernon, New York, shelter is closing. We need to save its dogs and cats by the end of the month. (16:22) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: FBI tries to goose the 1/5-1/6 Pipe Bomber investigation and hey, Trump, guess who's back in town? (18:11) IN SPORTS: The Red Sox do SOMETHING, will anybody get in the Hall of Fame, and meet Marcel Marcel (21:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Roll Call introduces the political equivalent of baseball metrics (and will regret it for the rest of time), Kari Lake goes nuttier, and MSNBC whores itself out - again.
C-Block (27:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: He was the most famous newscaster in Los Angeles from 1960 through 2002 and he had the most famous sign-on catchphrase and everybody in Southern California knew it by heart - except for the night HE FORGOT IT.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of I Heart Radio. Okay,
I got it, I got the solution to the speaker debacle.
(00:26):
Got it right here, you're ready. Kim Jefferies walks into
Kevin McCarthy's office before the House can reconvene at noon
and vote McCarthy down for a seventh time, and he says, Kevin,
do you want to be Speaker of the House? Do
you really want to be Speaker of the House. I
can make you Speaker of the House today at noon.
(00:50):
You're listening, And Kevin McCarthy looks at a Keem Jeffrey's blankly,
because that's who Kevin McCarthy is. And Leader Jeffrey says,
here's the deal. First of all, when you are Speaker,
you and like five five of your friends are going
to vote to increase the debt ceiling. Second, the motion
(01:12):
to vacate the chair rule the one you're gonna have. It.
Lets them hold a vote of no confidence in you
if like five Republicans call for it, you change that
to say two five for the motion to vacate the chair. Third,
this reincarnation of the Holman rule that Marge Green is
(01:32):
dying for so you can try to defund the salaries
of anybody who's investigating Trump. It's dead, Fourth Biggs, Bishop Bobert,
for Keen Cloud, Clyde Crane, Donald's Gates. Good ghosts are Harris,
(01:52):
Luna Miller, Norman Oguls, Perry Rosendale, Roy and self. The
twenty idiots holding up Congress, the twenty idiots who've voted
against you. You hate him, we hate him. None of
them gets a chairmanship, None of them gets a good
(02:12):
committee owned trailer park Green too. You can bury them
all as deep as you can. The Maga glass wipes
and we will help you do the shoveling. Kevin and
fifth and finally impeaching Biden. No, it's dead. The Laptop Committee.
(02:33):
You don't know from laptop committees. Kevin investigating the FBI,
Twitter Fauci. I want the committee's dead. I want the
committee's families dead. I want the committee's houses burned to
the ground. Then Achem Jeffrey says, you give me all that, Kevin,
and I will give you what's on this card, And
(02:56):
he hands Kevin McCarthy a small index card, And on
the card it reads two hundred and twelve of Democratic
votes for Kevin McCarthy for Speaker of the House of Representatives,
and Jeffrey says, that's two d and twelve of us
plus you makes two. We're down, Amand so all you
(03:19):
have to do is keep four of the other two
hundred Republicans who voted for you yesterday. All you have
to do is give four of your best friends in
this house whatever they want. And congratulations, Mr Speaker Kevin.
Do you want to be speaker because then you'll want
good friends like us. Because the Republicans, Kevin, are not
(03:44):
going to make you speaker. And sometime in the next week,
these Republican friends of yours, they're not only not going
to make you speaker, they are going to make you Fredo, Kevin.
And this out here, this is not the House of Representatives,
this is Lake Tahoe. You are going overboard, Kevin, and
(04:08):
it'll be Steve Scalise who will be negotiating with Matt
freaking Gates. Kevin. Or should I call you Fredo? Maybe
not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the
rest of your life. And then Fredo, if you're lucky,
Stevie and Maddie, we'll let you have the office next
(04:29):
to George Santos, Is that what you want, Kevin? You
want to be the guy George Santos can pity? Or
do you want to be Speaker of the freaking House? Now?
(04:49):
Do I think this will happen? I do not, not
in a million years. But as goofy as some of
its sounds, it would actually make sense, especially for Kevin McCarthy,
especially for a Keem Jeffreys and the Democratic Party, and
especially for the people who have been forgotten in this
(05:11):
endless series of calculations and negotiations, the citizens of the
United States of America. Because, yes, if Kevin McCarthy cut
a deal with a. Chem Jeffreys to make himself Speaker
at the price of keeping the Republicans more or less
within the guard rails of sanity, more or less where
the Republicans usually lived just twenty five years ago. If
(05:33):
he did that, Kevin McCarthy would be dead to the
rabid Republican base. On the other hand, if he really
winds up not getting elected Speaker of the House, guess what,
Kevin McCarthy would also be dead to the rabid Republican base.
There is no comeback to be made from the position
Kevin McCarthy finds himself in today to me right now,
(05:58):
McCarthy's choice is whether he wants to be a sycophantic, unprincipled, manipulative,
dishonest failure, or he wants to be a sycophantic, unprincipled, manipulative,
dishonest failure who became Speaker of the House because all
the roads stretching out in front of him right now
in Republican Land end with Kevin McCarthy getting nothing. He
(06:22):
can somehow cut a deal with that Vermin Gates, but
the terms will be McCarthy's speaker, and Gates tells him
what to do, or he can somehow cut a different
deal with Boberg's and then six weeks from now, Bobert
and four other nitwits invoke that motion to vacate the chair,
and McCarthy is the shortest serving speaker since Theodore Pomeroy had.
(06:43):
One day in eighteen sixty nine or today or Friday
or over the weekend, some of McCarthy's alleged friends suddenly
stop standing next to him on the floor of the house,
and they go and slowly worm their way over and
stand next to Steve Scalise instead. There are no other
(07:06):
options speaker in name only, or speaker until the first Insurrection,
or never speaker at all. Hi, I'm Kevin McCarthy. Do
you know me? I was once almost Speaker of the House,
but I got outsmarted by Babus and butt Head. So
I got the American Express Card. Now I get treated
(07:28):
like I'm Paul Ryan. The American Express Card. Don't leave
home without it? And now would you like a table
near the window or near our famous sizzler all you
can eat buffet? And I mean, by the way, a
Republican speaker beholden to the support of the Democrats and
(07:49):
forced at metaphorical gunpoint to try to steer the Republican
Party back towards comparative responsibility and maybe even restore some
sense that the House of Representatives was designed to serve
the American people, all the American people, and it was
not just supposed to be a place for Republican self
(08:10):
aggrandizement and grift. What's wrong with that? Exactly? What's so
funny about peace, love, and understanding? And from the democratic
point of view, I know I said yesterday Jefferies was
a genius for making sure nobody on his side of
the Aisle rushed in to put out the collective Republican
(08:30):
self immolation. But as this thing gets worse and worse,
and McCarthy's ego sees his looming has been shipped in
more and more detail, Jeffrey's leverage actually gets more and
more potent. How far would Kevin McCarthy go to be
speaker if only to be ex speaker two years from
(08:53):
now when he goes looking for that post Congress job,
Because if right now, when he isn't elected speaker, he's
going to be looking for that post Congress job starting
on two you think to be speaker, he wouldn't sell
out Matt Gates or Jim Jordan's or Steve Scalise or
(09:13):
Donald Trump or Maga. Of course he'd sell them out.
He's Kevin McCarthy. And what honestly is Kevin McCarthy's motive
personally deep down to be loyal to Gates and Bobert
and Chip Roy and now to his friends who are
(09:36):
scheming at this hour behind his back to swap him
out for Steve Scalise, and if that doesn't work, to
swap him out for somebody else. You want to be
loyal to the Republican party that is gutting you while
it is gutting you, or do you want to be
Speaker of the House of Representatives. And there is a
(10:00):
final consideration here from the Democratic point of view, somebody
is going to become the fifty Speaker of the House.
Somebody Republican is going to become the fifty Speaker of
the House. That is the reality, and it is unavoidable.
And under those circumstances, it sure would be better if
that Republican Speaker of the House was somebody Akeem Jefferies
(10:20):
selected and somebody who gets elected by a Keem Jeffreys,
all the other Democrats, Kevin McCarthy, and four or five
Republicans that Jefferies and McCarthy don't hate as much as
they both hate all the other Republicans. And again, no,
I don't think this will happen in a million years,
(10:43):
which is really really too bad because it would absolutely work.
(11:07):
They never listened to me. By the way, joke of
the day from Senator Brian Chatz is press guy Steve
Jestski they should start the next speaker vote with a
runner on second base. Still, I had actual news news
about whoever placed the pipe bombs at the Committee headquarters
two years ago tonight in Washington. The implosion of MSNBC
(11:28):
continues as the network not only books Lauren Boebert as
a guest for a historic story, but then boasts about
it like it didn't make the network look like a whorehouse.
And he had a catchphrase that millions of southern California
TV news viewers knew by heart. And then came the
night he forgot the catchphrase. Things I promised not to
(11:50):
tell coming up. That's next. This is countdown. This is
Countdown with Keith still ahead on Countdown. Unlike everything else
on television, we made MSNBC as success organically, no consultants,
(12:15):
no focus groups, no overripe executives with plans, just telling
the truth. And it earned NBC billions in profits. And
now the new management and someone named Stephanie Rule have
shamed us all a new worst persons coming up first.
In each edition of Countdown, we feature a dog in
(12:35):
need you can help. Every dog has its day. This
is about Apollo and Polo and Rufus and Ravioli in
about eight other dogs and sixteen cats at the City
Shelter in Mount Vernon, New York, my old neck of
the woods, just north of the city. The shelter is closing.
It has to because after forty eight years, the building
(12:55):
is falling down and the money is not there to
fix it or replace it. They will close at the
end of this month, and if there are any cats
or dogs who have not been adopted out or fostered
by then, they will be euthanized. Because it is not
like there are open spaces in any other area. Shelters
all way beyond capacity. Some very good looking dogs, very
cute cats at the Mount Vernon Shelter. I'll tweet a
(13:17):
link to their site. If you're in the area and
you're looking, this is the place to go right now.
I thank you, and Opal and Tank and Rufus, thank you.
Postscripts to the news some headlines, some updates, some snarks,
some predictions. Dateline Washington, This is interesting. Didn't get much
(13:40):
pick up yesterday because, frankly, most reporters and news organizations
in Washington can only cover one story at a time.
But the FBI has just increased from a hundred thousand
dollars to five hundred thousand dollars the reward for any
information leading to the arrest of whoever, just after dinner
time two years ago tonight on Tuesday, January, whoever play
(14:05):
those pipe bombs near the headquarters of the Democratic and
Republican national Committees. The FBI says it has conducted one
thousand interviews, It has visited twelve hundred residences and businesses,
It has collected thirty nine thousand video files, and assessed
five hundred notable tips from the public, and still nothing. Notably,
(14:26):
the FBI's announcement refers to whoever did this as a person,
not a man, not a woman and Dateline Washington and
this was reported Tuesday, but it also got swallowed up
by the speaker coverage. The Washington Post reporting guests who's
back in town? The Attorney General's special counsel for Trump,
Jack Smith, quoting the paper. People familiar with Smith's travels,
(14:50):
would not say when he arrived from Europe, but said
on Tuesday that he has been back in the country
for some time. This is Sports Center. Wait, check that
(15:14):
not anymore. This is countdown with Keith in sports. The
Boston Red Sox finally did something to calm their mutinous fans,
agreeing to the latest thing in baseball and eleven year
contract with the third baseman Raphael Devers one million dollars pending.
(15:35):
The other latest thing in baseball the physical, speaking of
which didn't Carlo's career signed with the Mets or something
like what was it two years ago? Pending a physical?
Are they waiting for him to get back from lords?
Are they waiting for something to heal the cloning and
Baseball Hall of Fame Update one and twenty ballots revealed
(15:56):
so far, and per the tracker runs so expertly by
Mr Ryan Thibodeaux, only two nominees are above the threshold
for election, which is of the vote. That's Scott Roland
the third basement at and Todd Helton the Rockies first
basement at seventy seven. But historically percentages slide as time
goes by, and especially in those ballots that the writer
(16:19):
voters do not want publicly revealed. So right now the
odds favor nobody being elected already below the cut line
and pretty much done, the likes of Andrew Jones and
Billy Wagner at Gary Sheffield at sixty six, Carlos Beltron
at fifty six. There's nobody else even at the results
will be announced on hockey Czechia beats Sweden two to
(16:43):
one in the semifinals of the World Junior Hockey Championships.
And why should you care? Because that means that in
the title game today that will feature the big six
ft four inch Checkia left wing. Marcel Marcel, Thank you,
(17:14):
Nancy Faust Marcel Marcel, that's his name, Yes, Marcel. Marcel's
favorite fictional character is Humbard Humbert. His favorite presidential family
member is Lauren Bush Lauren. His favorite diplomat his Bootros
Boutros Gallery. His favorite author Jerome k Jerome, and of course,
his favorite retro bands are Duran, Duran and confusingly enough,
(17:38):
The Grateful Dead Still Ahead. He was one of the
models for Ted Baxter from The Mary Tyler Moore Show,
and he had a catchphrase that everybody in Southern California
knew by heart except him. He did not know his
(17:59):
own catchphrase by heart. The story of Jerry Dunfie. Next, first,
the daily roundup of the miscrants, morons and Dunning Krueger
Effects specimens who constitute two days worse Persons, and the
World Lebronze roll Call. The political website opened Pandora's Box
(18:20):
in a story yesterday, which concluded that Blake Masters had
underperformed for a Republican candidate in the Arizona Senate race
compared to the typical Republican candidate there now. They did
this by unveiling a new statistic, votes above replacement, which
is modeled and or plagiarized from the Society for American
(18:42):
Baseball Research statistic wins above Replacement, abbreviated as WAR. I'll
only say this to you in the political field. Once
I like metrics, I've been involved in the Society for
American Baseball Research since nineteen seventy three. But once you
start using stats like this Masters votes above replacement it
(19:03):
was minus three point nine, you will never get to
go back to the good old days when you didn't
have to listen to this number all the damn time.
By the way, they're actually referring to this as the
votes above replacement metric, which would in fact be abbreviated
as varm which would make those who use the stats varmints.
(19:26):
They're on our up. Speaking of failures and varmints from Arizona,
there's Carrie Lake, who has in two months gone from
the forefront of the future Fascists of America to a
candidate for an involuntary psych eval In an interview on
the screaming propaganda feed called Real America's Voice, Lake has
now referred to herself in the third person as quote
(19:47):
the real governor, the duly elected governor. Even more crazily,
she says that while she thinks they stole the election
from Trump in the middle of the night, what they
did to her was far worse because they did it
in the middle of the day, which makes no sense.
I mean, it doesn't just not makes sense. In reality,
nothing was stolen from either of them. They lost, carry
(20:10):
you lost, But it doesn't make sense as an analogy,
even for the nut jobs. I mean, how is stealing
something in daylight worse than stealing it in the middle
of the night. Seriously, get help. But our winners, Stephanie Rule,
host of MSNBC's The Eleventh Hour program, and Rashida Jones,
the network president, and anybody else who was involved in
(20:30):
this fiasco. The special guest they booked to discuss the
speaker votes, the one they promoted on social media to
appear on the quote Historic Battle Lauren Bobert. Lauren Bobert
as a special guest on MSNBC and promoted. Look, I
understand it's a business and the audience is shrinking, and
(20:53):
NBC News chairman says Are Conde thinks he has to
turn it into a whore house to get whatever ratings
he can, however he can get them. But putting Lauren
Bobert on MSNBC is not just journalistic malpractice. It shows
that Conde and Jones, and especially this host Rule have
lost the basic plot here. Every time in its history
(21:14):
that MSNBC has tried to court conservative viewers or given
airtime to fascists, its ratings have gone down. When we
evolved slowly and organically into first an anti Bush network
and then a news operation with a liberal point of view,
MSNBC's ratings went up. There's nothing to be gained from
(21:36):
giving airtime to nihilist political creatures like Lauren Bobert. It
is not just disgusting. It is not just a betrayal
of your audience. It costs you money. And since NBC
News Chairman Conde and NBCUniversal Chairman Jeff Shell are supposedly
employed to make money, they should be firing Rashida Jones
(21:58):
and Stephanie Rule and everybody else for doing this, cancel
the show, and for an hour every night has put
up as a full screen graphic that says, dear loyal
MSNBC viewers, We're sorry, We're idiots. We screwed up a
good thing. Stephanie Rule and accomplices Today's Let me just
(22:19):
add I apologize to you for what MSNBC has become.
This was not what any of us who created it
had in mind. Two day's worst persons in the world
(22:46):
to the number one story on the Countdown and my
favorite topic, me and things I promised not to tell.
And somebody sent me a video of him the other
day and I laughed again, and I flashed back again.
And now you get to hear about him too. From
the desert to the sea to all of southern California,
good evening. You may or may not have ever heard
of Jerry Dunfie. That statement that you may or may
(23:09):
not have ever heard of Jerry Dunfie sent anybody from
southern California who was more than thirty five years old
into a deep, stunned silence. Because Jerry dunfi was ubiquitous
on TV news in Los Angeles from nineteen sixty until
two thousand and two. He died a week after his
last newscast, and there are some of the business who
have seriously believed he may show up again sooner or
(23:32):
later on TV, even though he's dead. He worked for
Channel two and he and his team won all the
ratings wars for fifteen years, and then one year the
station finished only tied for first in the Spring l
A ratings of nineteen seventy five, so the CBS corporate
geniuses in New York fired him and he went to
(23:53):
Channel seven like thirty six hours later, and then Channel
seven won nearly all the ratings periods there over fourteen years.
And then after six years at Channel nine, he was
hired back at Channel to where he started where they
fired him, hired back at Channel two for a couple
of million more than he was making when they fired
him twenty years earlier, and then he went back to
Channel line and he was still on every night at
(24:15):
the age of eighty and Oh, by the way, he
worked for twenty nine years. After he came out of
the k ABC studios in the night of October, hopped
into his Rolls Royce with the station makeup lady by
his side, and was ambushed and shot in the neck
by four assailants, leading him to issue the memorable statements
(24:38):
They said, don't move, and I didn't, but they shot
anyway unquote. And they never figured out who shot him
or why. But Jerry Dunfey was back on the air
three weeks later, anyway, And you cannot imagine how many
different guesses there were about that in the l A
news industry when I was on the air there from
(25:00):
through There is no question that in creating the fictional
newscasters Ted Baxter and Kent Brockman and maybe even Ron Burgundy,
much was stolen from Jerry Dunfie. Jerry Dunfey had a
huge shock of white hair, a craggy face, and a
rich baritone voice. He was in twenty one different movies,
(25:23):
including Oh God and the Amazing and Margaret Flick Kitten
with a Whip. Now, really, there is an A and
Margaret film called Kitten with a Whip. Anyway, I knew
Jerry dunfi He was a smart man, and a nice
and a welcoming man, and obviously quite a businessman. But
he did have a tendency on the air to become,
in his own words, a teleprompter reading machine. He said,
(25:47):
you put it up there, and I'm going to say
it down here. And that's what this story is about.
When I got to Los Angeles at the age of
hour newscast Channel five News at ten was like something
out of the nineteen sixties. The studio had car pitting
on the walls. There were no graphics to speak of,
(26:08):
just a big rear screen projection device. Our best reporter,
the lovely stand Chambers, had literally worked there since the
station had signed on the air for the first time
thirty eight years before, and he would keep working there
for another twenty five years. Our inimitable anchorman, Hal Fishman
(26:28):
would not wear an i FB an earpiece because he
thought viewers might think that if he did, it was
because he needed a hearing aid. He did, however, where
one of a series of two pays of different length
to simulate the need for a haircut. Until the first
commercial break was over on News at ten, only Hal spoke.
(26:51):
His female co anchor just sat there adoring Lee, and
the producer was a marvelously frantic character named Jerry Rubin,
who every night at nine pm, an hour to airtime,
would run around the newsroom screaming battle stations, battle stations,
and who took me seriously only when I could figure
out what his as Jerry phrase did invisible thread was
(27:15):
running through his nightly ordering of the stories, the rundown.
He would ask me to come into the newsroom and
look at the rundown and say, all right, all Verman,
you're so smart, what's the invisible thread? And he only
began to like me when I could recite to him
from memory the starting lineup of his beloved Chicago Cubs.
(27:35):
But he stayed liking me. We remained friends for thirty years. Anyway,
Jerry had come to Los Angeles in nineteen sixte hired
away from w g N in Chicago to become the
lead writer for This is where those story comes together.
You guessed it. The Jerry Dunfie newscasts on k n
x T, the CBS station in Los Angeles. In fact,
(27:58):
after winning every sweeps period for nine years, the newscast
had rightly become the Big News with Jerry Dunfie. And
it began with an unseen announcer intoning the Big News
with Jerry dunfy now here is Jerry Dunfie, And then
Jerry Dunvie said, his catchphrase, the catchphrase of all catch phrases.
(28:20):
Unlike the guy I worked with in New York when
I was an intern, Bill Jorgensen, thank you for your
time this time, until next time, Jerry Dunfie said, from
the desert to the sea to all of Southern California,
good evening. Nonsense, of course, but boy it sounded good.
From the desert to the sea to all of Southern California,
(28:42):
good evening. He said this so often that it is
still used in some promotional announcements by Channel nine News
in Los Angeles and Channel seven News in Los Angeles
and Channel two in Los Angeles. From the desert to
the sea to all of Southern California, good evening. I'm
dead Well. No, they don't actually say that, but that's
(29:03):
pretty much what it means. The only joke about the
night he got shot outside the parking lot that I
can tell is that when the cops arrived, Dunfie said
to them, from the desert to the siege to all
of Southern California, good evening. I've been shot in the neck.
The first night my friend Jerry Reuben sent down to
(29:24):
write the Big News with Jerry Dunfie. Jerry Reuben was
a little nervous. He got there early, he said. He
wrote some stories a dozen times each trying to get
it perfect. Finally, for the lead story, which if memory serves,
was about a bank robbery in Pasadena, Jerry got it
just right. And on that nineteen evening at six pm,
(29:45):
viewers of The Big News on Channel two in Los Angeles,
those for whom from the desert to the sea to
all of southern California was not a cliche, but mantra.
They heard the familiar channel to screeching theme music, and
then the Big News with Jerry Dunfie. Now here is
Jerry Dunfie. And up popped Jerry Dunfie's face and he said,
(30:05):
three armed and very dangerous modern day desperadoes are still
loos in Pasadena tonight. After blah blah blah blah blah,
the news cast ended an hour later. Jerry Reuben was
very relieved. Jerry Dunfie strode back to his desk before
presumably going out to warm up the rolls Royce and
avoid the gunmen who would finally get him fourteen years later,
(30:25):
and not even slow him down. And that's when the
station's news director leaned out of his office and waived
the two Jerry's inside. What the hell happened, Dunfie. Did
you retire it? You can't retire it. It's in the contract.
You have to stay it, According to Jerry Reuben. Dunfie
looked blankly at his boss. Jerry Reuben said he was
(30:46):
even more confused himself. From the desert to the Sea,
he didn't say, from the desert to the sea. At
the start of the big news, you say, from the
desert to the sea to all of southern California, Good evening.
Only tonight you didn't say, from the desert to the
sea to all of Southern California, good evening. You said
something about a bank. What the hell, Erry, we got
two hundred and fifty phone calls. Jerry Dunfie now pursed
(31:11):
his lips and turned to the new writer. What the hell, Reuben,
didn't you put it in the script? Jerry Reuben kept
this part to himself, but frankly, he said, he couldn't
believe what he was hearing. For nine years, this man
Dunfie had signed on virtually every one of his news
broadcast every night at six and then again every night
at eleven, by saying, from the desert and the sea
to all of southern California, good evening. But apparently if
(31:33):
you did not write it in the script and did
not put it on the teleprompter for him, he would
forget it. Before Jerry Reuben could say anything, Jerry Dunfie
barked at him with some understanding. Don't you understand when
I'm out there, I'm a teleprompter reading machine. You put
it up there, I'm going to say it down here.
(31:55):
You don't put it up there. I'm not going to
say it down here. The news director looked sternly at
Jerry Reuben. Jerry Reuben did not burst into uncontrollable laughter,
race from the building, K and X T was in
on Sunset Boulevard, and get on the first plane back
to Chicago. He just said yes, sir, and the news
director said good and everybody left. And from that night
(32:17):
at eleven o'clock onwards, Jerry Reuben always started his script
for the lead story by typing out, from the desert
to the sea to all of southern California, good evening.
There's a twenty six car pile up on the Santa
Monica Freeway after another mattress has been dumped in the
left lane. Or from the Desert to the Sie to
all of Southern California, good evening, burbank, bank burgled, or whatever.
(32:40):
Over the next few weeks, the lead story on the
Big News with Jerry Dunfie would change, as lead stories do.
At five PM or five thirty or five fifty, something
big er would happen, and it was the big News.
So Jerry Reuben would often have to rewrite page one
of the script, and every time he rewrote it, and
every time he re rewrote it, and the one time
(33:03):
he told me that he re re rewrote it, Jerry
remembered to start page one with from the Desert to
the Sea to all Southern California, good evening. All was well,
The teleprompter reading machine was happy, the news director was happy,
Jerry Reuben was happy, and ben calamity struck. At about
(33:25):
five one night, Jerry Reuben was told there is a
refinery fire in Torrents. It is the new lead story.
Just say we're rushing the crew. Get it written. He
started to type our top story breaking news A refinery,
and then he tore the page from his machine. He
started a new His fingers danced across the keyboard from
(33:46):
the desert to the sea to all of southern California.
Good evening, Our top story tonight, breaking news, our refinery fire.
He is just erupted in Torrents. A Channel two Big
News Live crew is rushing to the scene at this hour,
and we will have a Big News live report from
Rick Davis before this newscast is over. Reuben knew he
did not have time to get a production assistant to
take the new lead script into Dunfie, nor to tape
(34:07):
it into the script about to pass through the teleprompter,
so he did both things himself. New lead. He screamed
at Dunfie, throwing the page at him, and the unseen
announcer was already at mid introduction when Jerry Reuben taped
that new piece of script into the prompter without remembering
to remove the old lead script from the prompter. And
(34:29):
this is what Los Angeles heard, the big News with
Jerry Dunfie. Now here's Jerry Dunfie. From the desert to
the sea to all of Southern California. Good evening. Our
top story tonight, breaking news or refinery fire has just
erupted in Torrents. A Channel two Big News Live crew
is rushing to the scene of this hour, and we
(34:50):
will have a Big News Live report from Rick Dabis
before this newscast is over. Jerry Dunfie dramatically turned over
page one and began to read page two. From a
desert to the sea to all of southern California. Good evening,
our top story tonight, Mayor Sam, you're he said, Jerry
Reuben said, my head dropped to my desk with a thud. Well,
(35:26):
Jerry just wanted everybody to have a good evening so
much that he said it twice. I've done all the
damage I can do here. Thank you for listening. Here
are the credits. Most of the music, including our theme
from Beethoven's Ninth, was arranged, produced and performed by Brian
Ray and John Philip Shanelle. They are the Countdown musical directors.
All orchestration and keyboards by John Philip Shanelle, guitarist, bass
(35:48):
and drums by Brian Ray, and it was produced by
t k O Bros. Other Beethoven selections have been arranged
and performed by No Horns Allowed. The sports music is
the Olderman theme from ESPN two and it was written
by Mitch Warren. Davis had a fiers courtesy of ESPN Inc.
Musical comments by Nancy House. The best baseball stadium organist ever.
Our announcer today was Larry David. Everything else is pretty
(36:10):
much my fault. So that's countdown for this the day
since Donald Trump's first attempted coup against the democratically elected
government of the United States. Arrest him now while we
still can. New addition tomorrow. Until then, I'm Keith all Verman.
Good morning, good afternoon, goodnight, good luck, and from a
(36:31):
desert to the sea to all of southern California, good evening.
Countdown with Keith Olverman is a production of I heart Radio.
For more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit the i
heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of I Heart Radio. Okay,
I got it, I got the solution to the speaker debacle.
(00:26):
Got it right here, you're ready. Kim Jefferies walks into
Kevin McCarthy's office before the House can reconvene at noon
and vote McCarthy down for a seventh time, and he says, Kevin,
do you want to be Speaker of the House? Do
you really want to be Speaker of the House. I
can make you Speaker of the House today at noon.
(00:50):
You're listening, And Kevin McCarthy looks at a Keem Jeffrey's blankly,
because that's who Kevin McCarthy is. And Leader Jeffrey says,
here's the deal. First of all, when you are Speaker,
you and like five five of your friends are going
to vote to increase the debt ceiling. Second, the motion
(01:12):
to vacate the chair rule the one you're gonna have. It.
Lets them hold a vote of no confidence in you
if like five Republicans call for it, you change that
to say two five for the motion to vacate the chair. Third,
this reincarnation of the Holman rule that Marge Green is
(01:32):
dying for so you can try to defund the salaries
of anybody who's investigating Trump. It's dead, Fourth Biggs, Bishop Bobert,
for Keen Cloud, Clyde Crane, Donald's Gates. Good ghosts are Harris,
(01:52):
Luna Miller, Norman Oguls, Perry Rosendale, Roy and self. The
twenty idiots holding up Congress, the twenty idiots who've voted
against you. You hate him, we hate him. None of
them gets a chairmanship, None of them gets a good
(02:12):
committee owned trailer park Green too. You can bury them
all as deep as you can. The Maga glass wipes
and we will help you do the shoveling. Kevin and
fifth and finally impeaching Biden. No, it's dead. The Laptop Committee.
(02:33):
You don't know from laptop committees. Kevin investigating the FBI,
Twitter Fauci. I want the committee's dead. I want the
committee's families dead. I want the committee's houses burned to
the ground. Then Achem Jeffrey says, you give me all that, Kevin,
and I will give you what's on this card, And
(02:56):
he hands Kevin McCarthy a small index card, And on
the card it reads two hundred and twelve of Democratic
votes for Kevin McCarthy for Speaker of the House of Representatives,
and Jeffrey says, that's two d and twelve of us
plus you makes two. We're down, Amand so all you
(03:19):
have to do is keep four of the other two
hundred Republicans who voted for you yesterday. All you have
to do is give four of your best friends in
this house whatever they want. And congratulations, Mr Speaker Kevin.
Do you want to be speaker because then you'll want
good friends like us. Because the Republicans, Kevin, are not
(03:44):
going to make you speaker. And sometime in the next week,
these Republican friends of yours, they're not only not going
to make you speaker, they are going to make you Fredo, Kevin.
And this out here, this is not the House of Representatives,
this is Lake Tahoe. You are going overboard, Kevin, and
(04:08):
it'll be Steve Scalise who will be negotiating with Matt
freaking Gates. Kevin. Or should I call you Fredo? Maybe
not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the
rest of your life. And then Fredo, if you're lucky,
Stevie and Maddie, we'll let you have the office next
(04:29):
to George Santos, Is that what you want, Kevin? You
want to be the guy George Santos can pity? Or
do you want to be Speaker of the freaking House? Now?
(04:49):
Do I think this will happen? I do not, not
in a million years. But as goofy as some of
its sounds, it would actually make sense, especially for Kevin McCarthy,
especially for a Keem Jeffreys and the Democratic Party, and
especially for the people who have been forgotten in this
(05:11):
endless series of calculations and negotiations, the citizens of the
United States of America. Because, yes, if Kevin McCarthy cut
a deal with a. Chem Jeffreys to make himself Speaker
at the price of keeping the Republicans more or less
within the guard rails of sanity, more or less where
the Republicans usually lived just twenty five years ago. If
(05:33):
he did that, Kevin McCarthy would be dead to the
rabid Republican base. On the other hand, if he really
winds up not getting elected Speaker of the House, guess what,
Kevin McCarthy would also be dead to the rabid Republican base.
There is no comeback to be made from the position
Kevin McCarthy finds himself in today to me right now,
(05:58):
McCarthy's choice is whether he wants to be a sycophantic, unprincipled, manipulative,
dishonest failure, or he wants to be a sycophantic, unprincipled, manipulative,
dishonest failure who became Speaker of the House because all
the roads stretching out in front of him right now
in Republican Land end with Kevin McCarthy getting nothing. He
(06:22):
can somehow cut a deal with that Vermin Gates, but
the terms will be McCarthy's speaker, and Gates tells him
what to do, or he can somehow cut a different
deal with Boberg's and then six weeks from now, Bobert
and four other nitwits invoke that motion to vacate the chair,
and McCarthy is the shortest serving speaker since Theodore Pomeroy had.
(06:43):
One day in eighteen sixty nine or today or Friday
or over the weekend, some of McCarthy's alleged friends suddenly
stop standing next to him on the floor of the house,
and they go and slowly worm their way over and
stand next to Steve Scalise instead. There are no other
(07:06):
options speaker in name only, or speaker until the first Insurrection,
or never speaker at all. Hi, I'm Kevin McCarthy. Do
you know me? I was once almost Speaker of the House,
but I got outsmarted by Babus and butt Head. So
I got the American Express Card. Now I get treated
(07:28):
like I'm Paul Ryan. The American Express Card. Don't leave
home without it? And now would you like a table
near the window or near our famous sizzler all you
can eat buffet? And I mean, by the way, a
Republican speaker beholden to the support of the Democrats and
(07:49):
forced at metaphorical gunpoint to try to steer the Republican
Party back towards comparative responsibility and maybe even restore some
sense that the House of Representatives was designed to serve
the American people, all the American people, and it was
not just supposed to be a place for Republican self
(08:10):
aggrandizement and grift. What's wrong with that? Exactly? What's so
funny about peace, love, and understanding? And from the democratic
point of view, I know I said yesterday Jefferies was
a genius for making sure nobody on his side of
the Aisle rushed in to put out the collective Republican
(08:30):
self immolation. But as this thing gets worse and worse,
and McCarthy's ego sees his looming has been shipped in
more and more detail, Jeffrey's leverage actually gets more and
more potent. How far would Kevin McCarthy go to be
speaker if only to be ex speaker two years from
(08:53):
now when he goes looking for that post Congress job,
Because if right now, when he isn't elected speaker, he's
going to be looking for that post Congress job starting
on two you think to be speaker, he wouldn't sell
out Matt Gates or Jim Jordan's or Steve Scalise or
(09:13):
Donald Trump or Maga. Of course he'd sell them out.
He's Kevin McCarthy. And what honestly is Kevin McCarthy's motive
personally deep down to be loyal to Gates and Bobert
and Chip Roy and now to his friends who are
(09:36):
scheming at this hour behind his back to swap him
out for Steve Scalise, and if that doesn't work, to
swap him out for somebody else. You want to be
loyal to the Republican party that is gutting you while
it is gutting you, or do you want to be
Speaker of the House of Representatives. And there is a
(10:00):
final consideration here from the Democratic point of view, somebody
is going to become the fifty Speaker of the House.
Somebody Republican is going to become the fifty Speaker of
the House. That is the reality, and it is unavoidable.
And under those circumstances, it sure would be better if
that Republican Speaker of the House was somebody Akeem Jefferies
(10:20):
selected and somebody who gets elected by a Keem Jeffreys,
all the other Democrats, Kevin McCarthy, and four or five
Republicans that Jefferies and McCarthy don't hate as much as
they both hate all the other Republicans. And again, no,
I don't think this will happen in a million years,
(10:43):
which is really really too bad because it would absolutely work.
(11:07):
They never listened to me. By the way, joke of
the day from Senator Brian Chatz is press guy Steve
Jestski they should start the next speaker vote with a
runner on second base. Still, I had actual news news
about whoever placed the pipe bombs at the Committee headquarters
two years ago tonight in Washington. The implosion of MSNBC
(11:28):
continues as the network not only books Lauren Boebert as
a guest for a historic story, but then boasts about
it like it didn't make the network look like a whorehouse.
And he had a catchphrase that millions of southern California
TV news viewers knew by heart. And then came the
night he forgot the catchphrase. Things I promised not to
(11:50):
tell coming up. That's next. This is countdown. This is
Countdown with Keith still ahead on Countdown. Unlike everything else
on television, we made MSNBC as success organically, no consultants,
(12:15):
no focus groups, no overripe executives with plans, just telling
the truth. And it earned NBC billions in profits. And
now the new management and someone named Stephanie Rule have
shamed us all a new worst persons coming up first.
In each edition of Countdown, we feature a dog in
(12:35):
need you can help. Every dog has its day. This
is about Apollo and Polo and Rufus and Ravioli in
about eight other dogs and sixteen cats at the City
Shelter in Mount Vernon, New York, my old neck of
the woods, just north of the city. The shelter is closing.
It has to because after forty eight years, the building
(12:55):
is falling down and the money is not there to
fix it or replace it. They will close at the
end of this month, and if there are any cats
or dogs who have not been adopted out or fostered
by then, they will be euthanized. Because it is not
like there are open spaces in any other area. Shelters
all way beyond capacity. Some very good looking dogs, very
cute cats at the Mount Vernon Shelter. I'll tweet a
(13:17):
link to their site. If you're in the area and
you're looking, this is the place to go right now.
I thank you, and Opal and Tank and Rufus, thank you.
Postscripts to the news some headlines, some updates, some snarks,
some predictions. Dateline Washington, This is interesting. Didn't get much
(13:40):
pick up yesterday because, frankly, most reporters and news organizations
in Washington can only cover one story at a time.
But the FBI has just increased from a hundred thousand
dollars to five hundred thousand dollars the reward for any
information leading to the arrest of whoever, just after dinner
time two years ago tonight on Tuesday, January, whoever play
(14:05):
those pipe bombs near the headquarters of the Democratic and
Republican national Committees. The FBI says it has conducted one
thousand interviews, It has visited twelve hundred residences and businesses,
It has collected thirty nine thousand video files, and assessed
five hundred notable tips from the public, and still nothing. Notably,
(14:26):
the FBI's announcement refers to whoever did this as a person,
not a man, not a woman and Dateline Washington and
this was reported Tuesday, but it also got swallowed up
by the speaker coverage. The Washington Post reporting guests who's
back in town? The Attorney General's special counsel for Trump,
Jack Smith, quoting the paper. People familiar with Smith's travels,
(14:50):
would not say when he arrived from Europe, but said
on Tuesday that he has been back in the country
for some time. This is Sports Center. Wait, check that
(15:14):
not anymore. This is countdown with Keith in sports. The
Boston Red Sox finally did something to calm their mutinous fans,
agreeing to the latest thing in baseball and eleven year
contract with the third baseman Raphael Devers one million dollars pending.
(15:35):
The other latest thing in baseball the physical, speaking of
which didn't Carlo's career signed with the Mets or something
like what was it two years ago? Pending a physical?
Are they waiting for him to get back from lords?
Are they waiting for something to heal the cloning and
Baseball Hall of Fame Update one and twenty ballots revealed
(15:56):
so far, and per the tracker runs so expertly by
Mr Ryan Thibodeaux, only two nominees are above the threshold
for election, which is of the vote. That's Scott Roland
the third basement at and Todd Helton the Rockies first
basement at seventy seven. But historically percentages slide as time
goes by, and especially in those ballots that the writer
(16:19):
voters do not want publicly revealed. So right now the
odds favor nobody being elected already below the cut line
and pretty much done, the likes of Andrew Jones and
Billy Wagner at Gary Sheffield at sixty six, Carlos Beltron
at fifty six. There's nobody else even at the results
will be announced on hockey Czechia beats Sweden two to
(16:43):
one in the semifinals of the World Junior Hockey Championships.
And why should you care? Because that means that in
the title game today that will feature the big six
ft four inch Checkia left wing. Marcel Marcel, Thank you,
(17:14):
Nancy Faust Marcel Marcel, that's his name, Yes, Marcel. Marcel's
favorite fictional character is Humbard Humbert. His favorite presidential family
member is Lauren Bush Lauren. His favorite diplomat his Bootros
Boutros Gallery. His favorite author Jerome k Jerome, and of course,
his favorite retro bands are Duran, Duran and confusingly enough,
(17:38):
The Grateful Dead Still Ahead. He was one of the
models for Ted Baxter from The Mary Tyler Moore Show,
and he had a catchphrase that everybody in Southern California
knew by heart except him. He did not know his
(17:59):
own catchphrase by heart. The story of Jerry Dunfie. Next, first,
the daily roundup of the miscrants, morons and Dunning Krueger
Effects specimens who constitute two days worse Persons, and the
World Lebronze roll Call. The political website opened Pandora's Box
(18:20):
in a story yesterday, which concluded that Blake Masters had
underperformed for a Republican candidate in the Arizona Senate race
compared to the typical Republican candidate there now. They did
this by unveiling a new statistic, votes above replacement, which
is modeled and or plagiarized from the Society for American
(18:42):
Baseball Research statistic wins above Replacement, abbreviated as WAR. I'll
only say this to you in the political field. Once
I like metrics, I've been involved in the Society for
American Baseball Research since nineteen seventy three. But once you
start using stats like this Masters votes above replacement it
(19:03):
was minus three point nine, you will never get to
go back to the good old days when you didn't
have to listen to this number all the damn time.
By the way, they're actually referring to this as the
votes above replacement metric, which would in fact be abbreviated
as varm which would make those who use the stats varmints.
(19:26):
They're on our up. Speaking of failures and varmints from Arizona,
there's Carrie Lake, who has in two months gone from
the forefront of the future Fascists of America to a
candidate for an involuntary psych eval In an interview on
the screaming propaganda feed called Real America's Voice, Lake has
now referred to herself in the third person as quote
(19:47):
the real governor, the duly elected governor. Even more crazily,
she says that while she thinks they stole the election
from Trump in the middle of the night, what they
did to her was far worse because they did it
in the middle of the day, which makes no sense.
I mean, it doesn't just not makes sense. In reality,
nothing was stolen from either of them. They lost, carry
(20:10):
you lost, But it doesn't make sense as an analogy,
even for the nut jobs. I mean, how is stealing
something in daylight worse than stealing it in the middle
of the night. Seriously, get help. But our winners, Stephanie Rule,
host of MSNBC's The Eleventh Hour program, and Rashida Jones,
the network president, and anybody else who was involved in
(20:30):
this fiasco. The special guest they booked to discuss the
speaker votes, the one they promoted on social media to
appear on the quote Historic Battle Lauren Bobert. Lauren Bobert
as a special guest on MSNBC and promoted. Look, I
understand it's a business and the audience is shrinking, and
(20:53):
NBC News chairman says Are Conde thinks he has to
turn it into a whore house to get whatever ratings
he can, however he can get them. But putting Lauren
Bobert on MSNBC is not just journalistic malpractice. It shows
that Conde and Jones, and especially this host Rule have
lost the basic plot here. Every time in its history
(21:14):
that MSNBC has tried to court conservative viewers or given
airtime to fascists, its ratings have gone down. When we
evolved slowly and organically into first an anti Bush network
and then a news operation with a liberal point of view,
MSNBC's ratings went up. There's nothing to be gained from
(21:36):
giving airtime to nihilist political creatures like Lauren Bobert. It
is not just disgusting. It is not just a betrayal
of your audience. It costs you money. And since NBC
News Chairman Conde and NBCUniversal Chairman Jeff Shell are supposedly
employed to make money, they should be firing Rashida Jones
(21:58):
and Stephanie Rule and everybody else for doing this, cancel
the show, and for an hour every night has put
up as a full screen graphic that says, dear loyal
MSNBC viewers, We're sorry, We're idiots. We screwed up a
good thing. Stephanie Rule and accomplices Today's Let me just
(22:19):
add I apologize to you for what MSNBC has become.
This was not what any of us who created it
had in mind. Two day's worst persons in the world
(22:46):
to the number one story on the Countdown and my
favorite topic, me and things I promised not to tell.
And somebody sent me a video of him the other
day and I laughed again, and I flashed back again.
And now you get to hear about him too. From
the desert to the sea to all of southern California,
good evening. You may or may not have ever heard
of Jerry Dunfie. That statement that you may or may
(23:09):
not have ever heard of Jerry Dunfie sent anybody from
southern California who was more than thirty five years old
into a deep, stunned silence. Because Jerry dunfi was ubiquitous
on TV news in Los Angeles from nineteen sixty until
two thousand and two. He died a week after his
last newscast, and there are some of the business who
have seriously believed he may show up again sooner or
(23:32):
later on TV, even though he's dead. He worked for
Channel two and he and his team won all the
ratings wars for fifteen years, and then one year the
station finished only tied for first in the Spring l
A ratings of nineteen seventy five, so the CBS corporate
geniuses in New York fired him and he went to
(23:53):
Channel seven like thirty six hours later, and then Channel
seven won nearly all the ratings periods there over fourteen years.
And then after six years at Channel nine, he was
hired back at Channel to where he started where they
fired him, hired back at Channel two for a couple
of million more than he was making when they fired
him twenty years earlier, and then he went back to
Channel line and he was still on every night at
(24:15):
the age of eighty and Oh, by the way, he
worked for twenty nine years. After he came out of
the k ABC studios in the night of October, hopped
into his Rolls Royce with the station makeup lady by
his side, and was ambushed and shot in the neck
by four assailants, leading him to issue the memorable statements
(24:38):
They said, don't move, and I didn't, but they shot
anyway unquote. And they never figured out who shot him
or why. But Jerry Dunfey was back on the air
three weeks later, anyway, And you cannot imagine how many
different guesses there were about that in the l A
news industry when I was on the air there from
(25:00):
through There is no question that in creating the fictional
newscasters Ted Baxter and Kent Brockman and maybe even Ron Burgundy,
much was stolen from Jerry Dunfie. Jerry Dunfey had a
huge shock of white hair, a craggy face, and a
rich baritone voice. He was in twenty one different movies,
(25:23):
including Oh God and the Amazing and Margaret Flick Kitten
with a Whip. Now, really, there is an A and
Margaret film called Kitten with a Whip. Anyway, I knew
Jerry dunfi He was a smart man, and a nice
and a welcoming man, and obviously quite a businessman. But
he did have a tendency on the air to become,
in his own words, a teleprompter reading machine. He said,
(25:47):
you put it up there, and I'm going to say
it down here. And that's what this story is about.
When I got to Los Angeles at the age of
hour newscast Channel five News at ten was like something
out of the nineteen sixties. The studio had car pitting
on the walls. There were no graphics to speak of,
(26:08):
just a big rear screen projection device. Our best reporter,
the lovely stand Chambers, had literally worked there since the
station had signed on the air for the first time
thirty eight years before, and he would keep working there
for another twenty five years. Our inimitable anchorman, Hal Fishman
(26:28):
would not wear an i FB an earpiece because he
thought viewers might think that if he did, it was
because he needed a hearing aid. He did, however, where
one of a series of two pays of different length
to simulate the need for a haircut. Until the first
commercial break was over on News at ten, only Hal spoke.
(26:51):
His female co anchor just sat there adoring Lee, and
the producer was a marvelously frantic character named Jerry Rubin,
who every night at nine pm, an hour to airtime,
would run around the newsroom screaming battle stations, battle stations,
and who took me seriously only when I could figure
out what his as Jerry phrase did invisible thread was
(27:15):
running through his nightly ordering of the stories, the rundown.
He would ask me to come into the newsroom and
look at the rundown and say, all right, all Verman,
you're so smart, what's the invisible thread? And he only
began to like me when I could recite to him
from memory the starting lineup of his beloved Chicago Cubs.
(27:35):
But he stayed liking me. We remained friends for thirty years. Anyway,
Jerry had come to Los Angeles in nineteen sixte hired
away from w g N in Chicago to become the
lead writer for This is where those story comes together.
You guessed it. The Jerry Dunfie newscasts on k n
x T, the CBS station in Los Angeles. In fact,
(27:58):
after winning every sweeps period for nine years, the newscast
had rightly become the Big News with Jerry Dunfie. And
it began with an unseen announcer intoning the Big News
with Jerry dunfy now here is Jerry Dunfie, And then
Jerry Dunvie said, his catchphrase, the catchphrase of all catch phrases.
(28:20):
Unlike the guy I worked with in New York when
I was an intern, Bill Jorgensen, thank you for your
time this time, until next time, Jerry Dunfie said, from
the desert to the sea to all of Southern California,
good evening. Nonsense, of course, but boy it sounded good.
From the desert to the sea to all of Southern California,
(28:42):
good evening. He said this so often that it is
still used in some promotional announcements by Channel nine News
in Los Angeles and Channel seven News in Los Angeles
and Channel two in Los Angeles. From the desert to
the sea to all of Southern California, good evening. I'm
dead Well. No, they don't actually say that, but that's
(29:03):
pretty much what it means. The only joke about the
night he got shot outside the parking lot that I
can tell is that when the cops arrived, Dunfie said
to them, from the desert to the siege to all
of Southern California, good evening. I've been shot in the neck.
The first night my friend Jerry Reuben sent down to
(29:24):
write the Big News with Jerry Dunfie. Jerry Reuben was
a little nervous. He got there early, he said. He
wrote some stories a dozen times each trying to get
it perfect. Finally, for the lead story, which if memory serves,
was about a bank robbery in Pasadena, Jerry got it
just right. And on that nineteen evening at six pm,
(29:45):
viewers of The Big News on Channel two in Los Angeles,
those for whom from the desert to the sea to
all of southern California was not a cliche, but mantra.
They heard the familiar channel to screeching theme music, and
then the Big News with Jerry Dunfie. Now here is
Jerry Dunfie. And up popped Jerry Dunfie's face and he said,
(30:05):
three armed and very dangerous modern day desperadoes are still
loos in Pasadena tonight. After blah blah blah blah blah,
the news cast ended an hour later. Jerry Reuben was
very relieved. Jerry Dunfie strode back to his desk before
presumably going out to warm up the rolls Royce and
avoid the gunmen who would finally get him fourteen years later,
(30:25):
and not even slow him down. And that's when the
station's news director leaned out of his office and waived
the two Jerry's inside. What the hell happened, Dunfie. Did
you retire it? You can't retire it. It's in the contract.
You have to stay it, According to Jerry Reuben. Dunfie
looked blankly at his boss. Jerry Reuben said he was
(30:46):
even more confused himself. From the desert to the Sea,
he didn't say, from the desert to the sea. At
the start of the big news, you say, from the
desert to the sea to all of southern California, Good evening.
Only tonight you didn't say, from the desert to the
sea to all of Southern California, good evening. You said
something about a bank. What the hell, Erry, we got
two hundred and fifty phone calls. Jerry Dunfie now pursed
(31:11):
his lips and turned to the new writer. What the hell, Reuben,
didn't you put it in the script? Jerry Reuben kept
this part to himself, but frankly, he said, he couldn't
believe what he was hearing. For nine years, this man
Dunfie had signed on virtually every one of his news
broadcast every night at six and then again every night
at eleven, by saying, from the desert and the sea
to all of southern California, good evening. But apparently if
(31:33):
you did not write it in the script and did
not put it on the teleprompter for him, he would
forget it. Before Jerry Reuben could say anything, Jerry Dunfie
barked at him with some understanding. Don't you understand when
I'm out there, I'm a teleprompter reading machine. You put
it up there, I'm going to say it down here.
(31:55):
You don't put it up there. I'm not going to
say it down here. The news director looked sternly at
Jerry Reuben. Jerry Reuben did not burst into uncontrollable laughter,
race from the building, K and X T was in
on Sunset Boulevard, and get on the first plane back
to Chicago. He just said yes, sir, and the news
director said good and everybody left. And from that night
(32:17):
at eleven o'clock onwards, Jerry Reuben always started his script
for the lead story by typing out, from the desert
to the sea to all of southern California, good evening.
There's a twenty six car pile up on the Santa
Monica Freeway after another mattress has been dumped in the
left lane. Or from the Desert to the Sie to
all of Southern California, good evening, burbank, bank burgled, or whatever.
(32:40):
Over the next few weeks, the lead story on the
Big News with Jerry Dunfie would change, as lead stories do.
At five PM or five thirty or five fifty, something
big er would happen, and it was the big News.
So Jerry Reuben would often have to rewrite page one
of the script, and every time he rewrote it, and
every time he re rewrote it, and the one time
(33:03):
he told me that he re re rewrote it, Jerry
remembered to start page one with from the Desert to
the Sea to all Southern California, good evening. All was well,
The teleprompter reading machine was happy, the news director was happy,
Jerry Reuben was happy, and ben calamity struck. At about
(33:25):
five one night, Jerry Reuben was told there is a
refinery fire in Torrents. It is the new lead story.
Just say we're rushing the crew. Get it written. He
started to type our top story breaking news A refinery,
and then he tore the page from his machine. He
started a new His fingers danced across the keyboard from
(33:46):
the desert to the sea to all of southern California.
Good evening, Our top story tonight, breaking news, our refinery fire.
He is just erupted in Torrents. A Channel two Big
News Live crew is rushing to the scene at this hour,
and we will have a Big News live report from
Rick Davis before this newscast is over. Reuben knew he
did not have time to get a production assistant to
take the new lead script into Dunfie, nor to tape
(34:07):
it into the script about to pass through the teleprompter,
so he did both things himself. New lead. He screamed
at Dunfie, throwing the page at him, and the unseen
announcer was already at mid introduction when Jerry Reuben taped
that new piece of script into the prompter without remembering
to remove the old lead script from the prompter. And
(34:29):
this is what Los Angeles heard, the big News with
Jerry Dunfie. Now here's Jerry Dunfie. From the desert to
the sea to all of Southern California. Good evening. Our
top story tonight, breaking news or refinery fire has just
erupted in Torrents. A Channel two Big News Live crew
is rushing to the scene of this hour, and we
(34:50):
will have a Big News Live report from Rick Dabis
before this newscast is over. Jerry Dunfie dramatically turned over
page one and began to read page two. From a
desert to the sea to all of southern California. Good evening,
our top story tonight, Mayor Sam, you're he said, Jerry
Reuben said, my head dropped to my desk with a thud. Well,
(35:26):
Jerry just wanted everybody to have a good evening so
much that he said it twice. I've done all the
damage I can do here. Thank you for listening. Here
are the credits. Most of the music, including our theme
from Beethoven's Ninth, was arranged, produced and performed by Brian
Ray and John Philip Shanelle. They are the Countdown musical directors.
All orchestration and keyboards by John Philip Shanelle, guitarist, bass
(35:48):
and drums by Brian Ray, and it was produced by
t k O Bros. Other Beethoven selections have been arranged
and performed by No Horns Allowed. The sports music is
the Olderman theme from ESPN two and it was written
by Mitch Warren. Davis had a fiers courtesy of ESPN Inc.
Musical comments by Nancy House. The best baseball stadium organist ever.
Our announcer today was Larry David. Everything else is pretty
(36:10):
much my fault. So that's countdown for this the day
since Donald Trump's first attempted coup against the democratically elected
government of the United States. Arrest him now while we
still can. New addition tomorrow. Until then, I'm Keith all Verman.
Good morning, good afternoon, goodnight, good luck, and from a
(36:31):
desert to the sea to all of southern California, good evening.
Countdown with Keith Olverman is a production of I heart Radio.
For more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit the i
heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Host
Keith Olbermann
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