May 31, 2024 • 58 mins
SERIES 2 EPISODE 185: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: Do not be fooled by the dismissive attitude of the media of the impact on Trump voting support of the jury's finding of Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, and not NOT-Guilty.
If, as the most circumspect pre-verdict polling suggests, 2% of his voters would peel away, that (based on 2020) is 1,500,000 voters and at least 5 electoral votes, and (based on 2016) would have been enough to throw Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin to Clinton.
It reminds us that we should stop looking for the game-ender for Trump and rely instead on the incrementals, because they - and the justice that invoke them - will defeat him.
Also, can the Trump cultists explain to me: are these 34 verdicts election interference that will stop Trump from winning, or are they a political gift that just gave him the election? Because you keep saying BOTH.
PLUS: If you missed it, John Roberts just told Dick Durbin and Sheldon Whitehouse to go F themselves. He's king for life and he won't even talk to them about the Alito Scandal, or the OTHER Alito Scandal, or the Roberts scandal. Fine. Subpoena him. And if he ignores that, arrest him. This country is changing and those who act will decide whether it changes for the good or the bad, and we are the good guys.
B-Block (32:40) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Clay Travis goes entirely racist on The View's Sonny Hostin (and even on the WNBA's Caitlin Clark). Minnesota GOP Senate likelihood Royce White (who played eight minutes and 55 seconds in the NBA and don't you forget it) is in trouble again. And the book sale numbers are in for Kristi Noem's Puppy Murder Diary book and I don't want to say they're not moving but the fall off from Week 1 to Week 3 is 9275%
C-Block (41:25) FRIDAYS WITH THURBER: Only one story to tell on this day after: Thurber prophesying the life of Trump in something he wrote... in 1931!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. Convicted
felon Donald Trump has been found guilty and guilty, and
(00:28):
guilty and guilty, guilty, guilty and guilty, guilty, guilty, and
guilty and guilty, guilty, ish, guilty, adjacent guilty, esque, also
guilty and guilty, gay, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, very guilty,
repeatedly guilty, incredibly guilty, extra guilty, extra large guilty, extra
crispy guilty, diet guilty, lemon scented guilty, family size guilty,
(00:53):
tartar control guilty, and lastly not not guilty. Of course,
we knew he was guilty. This was just the legal
system confirming it and before getting to what really matters
right now, which is in fact what happens not right now.
But next I would like to observe that, no, this
(01:14):
was not the legal system finally getting around to confirming
that he's guilty. Convicted felon. Donald Trump is now O
for five on trial his corporation guilty of seventeen felonies,
his first Egene Carroll trial finding him liable for sexual
abuse and defamation, his second Egen Carroll trial, finding him
(01:36):
more guilty. For a total of eighty nine million dollars
in liability. He was guilty in his civil fraud case
for a total of three hundred and fifty five million
in liability, and now thirty four count them thirty four
felonies thirty four and oh number thirty four, s Keel O'Neill,
Nolan Ryan thirty four, Austin Matthews, and best of all,
(01:57):
hersh Sholwalker. Trump just got herschel Walker thirty four. And
before I stop celebrating, I really need clarification from the
millions of Trump cultists who are just as assuredly not
stopping symbolically nailing themselves to crosses right now. Is this,
(02:17):
Fernando valezuela uniform number worth of thirty four convictions? Is
this the political gift from the Democrats and Biden that
assures Trump wins the election, as you all keep saying,
or is it election interference that guarantees he does not
win the election, as you idiots also all keep saying.
(02:40):
Because this is where I finally get to what's next,
And what's next is no, it's neither. What it is
is potentially just enough, just this, no sentence to jail,
no espionage trial, no election subversion trial, no Georgia trial,
just this, just this conviction, these convictions, this could cost
(03:05):
him two percent of Republican voters. That's where the polling
seems to have bottomed out. All of the polling done
before the verdict. Did I mention? They found him guilty
thirty four times. It's like three convictions per hour of
jury deliberation. And yet every news organization, every news organization
(03:27):
has reported or printed or posted that statistic that it
could cost him, according to polling, two percent, maybe more,
but two percent of Republican support, as if that meant
it was going to cost him like thirty four votes.
The loss of two percent of Trump's Republican support in
the twenty twenty presidential election would have cost Trump one million,
(03:52):
four hundred and eighty four, four hundred and eighty votes.
If the two percent applied evenly to the electoral college,
it would have cost him five electoral votes. The loss
of two percent of Republican support in the twenty sixteen
presidential election would have cost convicted Fellon Donald Trump forty
(04:13):
six thousand votes in Michigan. It would have cost him
fifty nine four hundred votes in Pennsylvania. Would have cost
him twenty eight thousand votes in Wisconsin. In other words,
in twenty sixteen, two percent would have cost him Michigan, Pennsylvania,
and Wisconsin. In other words, two percent would have cost
him the twenty sixteen election, and Donald Trump would be
(04:36):
a host on News Nation right now. And that math,
that two percent math is conservative because except when speaking
about the impact on the electoral college in twenty sixteen,
were suddenly two percent means Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin go
to Hillary Clinton. Except when speaking of that, this does
(04:56):
not even address how many of that two percent of
Republican voters he loses because of the thirty four convictions.
How many of those go to Biden? Because if half
of them go to Biden, that means the guilty verdicts
yesterday just gave the president an additional three points in
(05:18):
the polling. It's only two percent. Yeah, if the two
percent that convicted fellon Trump just lost, stays home. Now,
before you misinterpret my enthusiasms and say, oh good, that
means I can take the summer off and I'll check
back in with you on the race and like September,
(05:40):
That's not the way it works. That two percent number
is as flexible and fluid and unreliable as everything else
now in our new unhappy world in which some goddamn
son of a bitch turned off all the gravity. Now,
this does not mean that two percent will drop to
(06:02):
one percent or less. The Mark Law Poll polled on
this issue last week. Its overall picture convicted fell in
Trump ahead of Biden nationally by four. Then it asked
half of its sample who they would vote for if convicted.
Fella and Trump were convicted in the Stormy Daniel's case,
(06:22):
and they went for Biden by four, meaning that the
actual swing isn't two points against Trump or three points
for Biden, but eight points for Biden. I used that
two percent figure because it seemed to be closer to
something like a consensus figure, and as I think those
numbers suggest it sounds like nothing. It ain't nothing. Of course,
(06:45):
if it's four points, not two points, that's just under
three million votes it would cost Trump. And if that
eight point swing from this Marquette Law pole could possibly
be true, that would mean five million, nine hundred and
thirty seven, nine hundred and twenty more votes for Joe Biden.
(07:07):
The media is summed up the possible impact on the
polls by saying it's only two points. It is much
more fixated on the timing of the sentencing, now scheduled
for Thursday, July eleventh, with the Republican Convention Thug Life
twenty four opening in Milwaukee on Monday July fifteenth. First
of all, Trump's defense. You know, the guys who just
(07:29):
went oh for thirty four, They asked for and will
again ask for a delay in sentencing until late July
after the convention, and they stand at least a fifty
to fifty chance of getting it, because for other felons
convicted of this and similar crimes, there would be no
really good reason not to grant a delay of two
(07:49):
weeks in sentencing. Secondly, there is also the chance that
Justice Wan Mereschan could rationalize no prison time for Trump,
even though these are felonies. It has been suggested that
the real argument weighing now in favor of something some
token sentence like house arrest or weekends in the joint
(08:11):
for three months, The real argument in favor of that
is all of Trump's violations of the gag order. In fact,
the da Alvin Bragg, who did not just get up
at his press conference last night and say, I having
told you so, Losers District Attorney Bragg instead answered a
question about the gag orders by referencing the sentencing hearing,
(08:35):
and that is a really bad omen for Trump. He
didn't say we'll see about that later. He said, well,
the sentencing hearing is on July eleventh. But again, even
if on July eleventh or July twenty fifth, Mershawn says,
I've decided to make an example of mister O for
thirty four over here and sentenced him to forty years
(08:57):
in prison. It's not like he's going to be handcuffed
on the spot and walked directly to Attica. And yes,
by the way, Attica is still open. They got like
two thousand felons in Attica. And the best part of
the story of Attica is that all the online info
about it mentions the fact that Attica is open twenty
(09:19):
four hours. Trump cannot appeal the verdict until after the
sentence is determined, and then, as we've seen, if he
gets a judge he appointed or another crook, he can
delay even the hearing until the year twenty five, twenty five.
(09:41):
The point of this beyond the fact that the legal
system hasn't finally caught up with him, it is continuing
to finally catch up with him. Is that just a
dent in his support could be enough to decide the
election for Biden? One assumes there will now be a
flurry of polling, especially in the swing states, as to
(10:03):
the impact of the actual verdicts yesterday. If there are
enough polls, we might be able to move that consensus
number one way or the other, because there is for
once a practical reality and a meaning to discussions of
the horse race. You and I have known Trump as
a crook for at least the last nine years. As
(10:23):
I've mentioned many times. I met him in December nineteen
eighty three, and I knew it then. But for the
vast number of Americans who will head to the polls
on November fifth, including that seventy one percent of Democrats
who know next to nothing about Project twenty twenty five,
this event is important because it is exactly the kind
(10:44):
of concrete event and the breathtaking historical moment they keep
hyping on television while the rest of us say, where
have you people been since twenty fifteen? Oh, it's been
has been breathtaking historical moments. I'd like to have a
couple of years without any breathaking goddamn historical moments. Thank you,
(11:07):
Because still, for everything else that has changed, it is
still one thing for Americans to look at somebody and say, yeah,
this guy's corrupt and he's morally bankrupt. But it's something
completely different to look at a jury coming back on
day two of its deliberations having convicted the son of
(11:28):
a bitch of everything. Okay, some other sequelae one. Brian
Boutler again notes that convicted felons are disqualified from getting
clearance to receive classified intelligence. Donald Trump is a convicted felon.
He's convicted felon, Donald Trump. He got a call him that.
(11:50):
And Donald Trump, convicted felon, is a convicted fellain. The
Biden administration now has every right to deny him the
customary other candidate intel briefings and ignoring this law that
is not doing what's fair. It would be ignoring a
law instituted for good reason. We don't give our classified
intelligence to felons. Look what he did with it before
(12:13):
he was a felon. Number two, the Republican response to
felon Trump's convictions. Is not only not gracious, the early
evidence is it's not smart. Yes, they'll raise money off
of it, of course they will. They would have found
the money anywhere anyway. But Larry Hogan, the somehow Republican
(12:36):
governor of Maryland, who could easily now become the Republican
Senator from Maryland and tip the Senate back to the Republicans, writes,
regardless of the results, I urge all Americans to respect
the verdict and the legal process. At this dangerously divided
moment in our history, all leaders, regardless of party, must
not pour fuel on the fire with more toxic partisanship.
(13:00):
We must reaffirm what has made this nation great, rule
of law, to which Trump's de facto co campaign chief
Swift Vote Chris Lasovita writes, you just ended your campaign.
Good call, Skezics. The last thing you want in a
(13:21):
Trump dictatorship or a Biden second term. The last thing
you wants, Chris mfing idiot Lasovita, The last thing you
want is a Republican Senate. Moron, utter, unabashed, irredeemable moron,
(13:42):
make all the decisions for the campaign. Chris Lasavida, you
have the brains of a collar stay. I refer you
back to Olderman's corollary about how democracy survives because of
the stupidity of those who seek to destroy it. Chris
Lsavita's senior campaign advisor to convicted fellon Donald Trump, the
(14:03):
Republican nominee for president of jail. And lastly, three do
not ignore the new tape which got absolutely buried in
the news by the convictions. Former Apprentice producer Bill Prewett
confirms at Slate the literally two decade old rumor that
(14:23):
Trump is on tape from that god awful television show
dropping the N word. On tape. There is a dispute
as they film about how to fire an African American contestant.
It's the first show. The routine isn't set. They haven't
even really invented the phrase you're fired yet, And of
(14:43):
course Trump is a racist nutbag. Why didn't somebody else
do the firing? Trump asks, why do I have to
do it? Quoting Bill Prewett quote, that's not his job.
Show runner Jay Beanstock says to Trump, that's yours. Trump's
head continues to Bob, I don't think he knew he
had the ability to do that. Trump on air advisor
(15:04):
Carolyn Capture says, Trump winces again. Yeah, he says to
no one in particular, but I mean with America, buy
a N word here winning Capture's pale skin goes bright red.
I turned my gaze toward Trump. He continues to WinCE.
He is serious, and he is adamant about not hiring
(15:25):
mister Jackson. Look, I know, and I knew it within
hours that it was not that we lost our moral
way as a nation the day the Access Hollywood tape
was revealed and the Republicans did not kick him off
the ticket, and people bought his non apology apology, and
(15:46):
everybody who criticized Trump uncriticized him within the year at
the absolute latest, we did not lose our way. Then
what happened was we realized that in thirty five to
fifty percent of this country, our way had long since
been replaced by something new in which Americans looked four
and applauded venality. My online friend La Mistal noted, the
(16:12):
people who vote for Trump know he uses the N word,
That's why they like him. Elly also jokingly predicted Tim
Scott would be using that word by next week. I
think he meant it jokingly, and I know that a
similar charge using the N word in a workplace environment
(16:33):
roughly twenty years ago was just leveled against a Democratic
congressman from New Mexico, and worse. When Politico's email newsletter
covered both of these stories yesterday, they gave the story
of the congressman and the N word three long paragraphs
and the story of Trump and the N word two paragraphs. Well,
(16:55):
it's all like it's early news. The people baked it in.
But I'll circle back to that idea that the stormy
Daniel's convictions will only cost Trump two percent of his
voters in twenty sixteen and to a lesser but still
sizable degree in twenty twenty. Lots of us, and I
(17:16):
confess to this freely. I did it. Lots of us
were looking for some knockout punch that would end Trump's
primary candidacy, or his nomination, or his presidency or his
reelection campaign. If you're in the middle of a nightmare,
you want to wake up from it immediately, and it
could still happen, who knows. But bluntly, we should stop
(17:38):
wasting our time looking for it, looking for a knockout punch.
What we should do is keep looking for things that
cost him two percent of his support or one percent
or one tenth of a percent, Because if the damage
yesterday from the courtroom turns out to only be not
two percent but one and a half percent, but the
(17:59):
damage from Trump and the N word tape is the
fifths of one percent. Just to choose a random number,
guess what. He did not lose one million, four hundred
and eighty five thousand votes yesterday. He lost one million,
six hundred thirty three thousand votes yesterday. That makes it
(18:24):
a good day just as important to my mind as
the Trump verdicts this Chairman Durbin, Senator White House, this
is simple. If Chief Justice John Roberts will not meet
(18:45):
voluntarily with you about the corruption on his court, about
the perjurers on his court, about the politically active and
biased judges on his court, subpoena him, and if Chief
Justice John Roberts will not then testify to your Senate
Judiciary Committee, arrest him. With every passing minute and every
(19:08):
new revelation, the Supreme Court of the United States is
losing more and more of it's already near fatally low
levels of credibility. Like them or loathe them, And obviously
I loathe them, but a delegitimized Supreme Court is a
bad augur for hopes of holding the constitutional based government
(19:29):
together in the years, maybe decades of risk that lie
ahead of us, and would continue to lie ahead of
us even if Roberts, Alito, and Thomas resigned today. If
you missed this, Durbin and Whitehouse wrote to Roberts a
week ago, yesterday, long before the latest version of the
latest Alito scandal, just the latest of the latest Supreme
(19:53):
Court scandals, and they asked Roberts to meet with them,
not asking for his testimony, not asking for him to
swear himself in, not asking for his resignation, not asking
for him his papers. Just meet yesterday. Came his reply,
in which he, in short, declares himself and Alito and
Thomas and the other Conservatives, the kings and Queens of
(20:18):
the United States for life, answerable to no one. I quote,
I must respectfully decline your request for a meeting, as
noted in my letter to Chairman Durbin last April, apart
from ceremonial events, only on rare occasions in our nation's history,
as a sitting chief justice met with legislators, even in
(20:40):
a public setting such as a committee hearing with members
of both political parties present separation of powers concerns and
the importance of preserving judicial independence. Council against such appearances. Moreover,
the format proposed a meeting with leaders of only one
(21:01):
party who have expressed an interest in matters currently pending
before the Court simply underscores that participating in such a
meeting would be inadvisable. John Roberts is hiding behind judicial
independence that he and especially Alito and Thomas long since forfeited,
(21:23):
long since hoard away, and in Clarence Thomas's case, that
is meant literally Clarence Thomas is a whore. And Roberts
is invoking of separation of powers in this context shows
how little meaning that phrase has for him or the others,
and that they do not know why the separation of
(21:43):
powers was created by the framers of the Constitution. The
powers are separate. The goal of those intended to wield
those powers is meant to be one goal. If there
is an imbalance somewhere, The men who wield that power
were always meant to interact and to try to resolve,
(22:04):
and to try to compromise for the greater good of
the United States of America as corny and as perhaps
impossible as that seems in the context of what we
saw in a New York courtroom yesterday, Roberts's answer to
this naive but at least well intentioned invitation from Durban
(22:25):
and White House is a dignified, gussied up f you commoners,
try and make me show up. Conservatism as a reactionary
movement dedicated against liberty, began to assert itself in the
nineteen fifties and spurred it out briefly with Barry Goldwater
(22:47):
and to some degree although his corruption truly transcended any
particular brand of politics with Richard Nixon, but it's stuck
with Ronald effing Reagan, and it became a cult with
Ronald Reagan. And John Roberts was a Reagan White House
Law Office flunky, and Sam Alito was in the Reagan
(23:08):
Department of Justice. And Clarence Thomas was in what must
be seen in retrospect as an utter irony Assistant Secretary
for Civil Rights at Reagan's Department of Education. The man
who's trying to undo Brown v. Board of Education. The
parts of this Supreme Court, this illegitimate Supreme theocratic Court
(23:32):
under John Roberts. The parts of it that are not
Trump are all Ronald Reagan still effing with us from
beyond the grave. The surviving dregs of Reaganism are outdated
in this country by decades. These men entered into politics
and government corrupt and backwards looking on day one, animated
(23:55):
as Reagan was by the ends justifying the means, and
in the ensuing forty plus years they have only gotten worse.
They have been here soul so tirelessly in their devotion
to pushing back the future that they have been mistaken
for the system, the establishment, and in anything approaching a democracy,
(24:18):
the system eventually becomes self protecting, which brings us back
to Dick Durbin and his response to the Alito crisis,
and the shadow version of this nightmare of one of
the major parties running a convicted felon, a thirty four
times convicted felon as its candidate in a presidential election
is the reality, the not unconnected reality that a Supreme
(24:41):
Court compromised in a base and shabby way not seen
since before the Civil War, a Supreme Court may ultimately
decide that presidential election in which one of the parties
is running a convicted felon. This cannot stand. At least
half of us, at least our side of this, we
(25:04):
have wish it would never come to this. We may
in fact have been guilty of living in denial about
it eventually coming to this. But one way or the other,
this nation, in the years and decades to come, is
going to undergo sweeping basic change, perhaps on the scale
scene between the time before the Civil War and the
time after the Civil War. As Lincoln once said about slavery,
(25:26):
it will become all one thing or all the other.
We will become a nation, a flawed but honorable sort
of democracy that works for most of its people, that
intends to do good most of the time in the world,
or we will become an authoritarian state sharing the spoils
(25:48):
of a dying planet with the Russians. But whichever way
it will change, and change is the enemy of a
self protecting system, and Dick Durbin is so deeply in
dede the self protecting system that he does not want
to take a step, no matter how essential, that would
(26:11):
shatter precedents or set new ones. The essence of self
protection is never having to face anything new. You don't
subpoena the Chief Justice of the United States, because they
didn't subpoena Chief Justice Charles Evans Hughes, did they. Therefore,
when the day comes that the Chief Justice is corrupt,
(26:34):
is politically compromised, is convinced he is an unelected king
of America, you will let him get away with it.
We cannot let this happen. Change will come to this country,
and it will come violently. And I hope I mean
the word violently as a metaphor, but bluntly, my hope
(26:55):
that I do mean it that way. Changes every couple days.
Much of what we know about this nation will change.
And it is up to us. It is right now
up to people like Senator Durbin of Illinois to decide
whether the change will liberate this nation and increase its
freedom for its people and increase the civic responsibility and
(27:17):
probity of its servants like chief Justices and Senate Judiciary chairs,
whether it will do that, or whether it will permit
the crooks like John Roberts and Clarence Thomas and Samuel
Alito and Donald Trump to enslave the rest of us.
Because the Dick Durbins feared what would happen if they
(27:38):
stopped obeying and protecting the self protecting system. Senator, if
Chief Justice Roberts will not talk to you, subpoena him,
If he will not appear before your committee, arrest him.
The only part of the self protecting system that needs
(27:58):
to be protected is the premise that we are a
nation of laws and not of men. And if you
said that to John Roberts after that answer to that
question in that letter, it is clear now that bluntly,
John Roberts would have no goddamned idea what the hell
(28:20):
you were talking about? Also of interest here say we
know what happened to Christy Nomes. Dog, we think we
know what happened to Christy nomes national political career. What
the hell happened to the thing that started all this trouble,
Christy Nomes' book. The sales numbers are in, and bluntly,
(28:44):
I am not believing what I am seeing, in large
part because what I am seeing here in those sales
numbers is so small that I feel like I need
a new pair of glasses. That's next, LIS's countdown. This
is countdown with Keith Oberman still ahead of us on
(29:26):
this edition of countdown well after Trump was found guilty
and guilty and guilt Okay, I'm not doing that again,
but after it happened. There is only one story to
read on this Friday with James Thurber, the one in
which Thurber all but prophesied Trump ascant eighty five years
before his election and happily also prophesied Trump's fall. Coming
(29:47):
up on Fridays with Thurber, but first, As ever, there
are still new idiots, new more brand new idiots to
talk about. The daily roundup of the misgrants, morons and
dunning Kruger Effect specimens who constitute today's worst persons in
the world. The runner up worse Clay Travis, right wing
(30:07):
nut job sports want to be turned right wing nut
job political want to be. He's gone after co host
Sonny houstin of the View by way of the new
women's basketball star Caitlyn Clark. To quote Clay Travis, right
wing nutjob, Caitlyn Clark's race and her gender are not
(30:28):
the reasons that she's popular. They had nothing to do
with her becoming the NCAA scoring champion. In fact, regardless
of what race Caitlin Clark was, regardless of her sexuality,
she would still be employed in the WNBA. WNBA. She
could be the ugliest person on the planet. Clay Travis says,
her game still translates her race doesn't matter. Okay, Can
(30:51):
Sonny Houston say the same thing? Sonny Hostin, to my knowledge, rarely,
if ever says anything smart. I do think she's pretty
and she's a minority. Sonny Houston, we're an ugly, fat
white woman. She would have no media career whatsoever if
she had the exact same opinions as she does. Now,
think about that, says Clay Travis. Sonny Houston, you are
(31:13):
an ugly fat woman. You have no media career, unlike
Caitlin Clark, who, regardless of her race or her sexuality,
would be employed in the WNBA. Frankly, we can debate
some of that. If Sonny Houston wasn't pretty and a minority,
she would have no media career whatsoever. If she were
unattractive and white, there's a zero percent chance she would
(31:35):
be on the view, unquote Clay Travis. Well, obviously, Clay
Travis is a no talent racist, but his construction here
has some merit if you in fact pull it out
of this equation and apply it instead to him Clay Travis. Intellectually,
Clay Travis is now what we politely call challenged, and
(31:57):
if he were not fulfilling that niche he would have
no media career whatsoever. The runner up worse. Speaking of sports,
Speaking of spots, there's Royce White, who four years ago
right now is one of the leaders of the George
Floyd protests in Minnesota and then decided he should become
the Republican senator from that state. And he has in
(32:19):
those four years gone totally fascist. And he was endorsed
by the state Republican Party even though the National Republican
Senatorial Commission doesn't want anything to do with them. And
here's why, because he does the traditional African American self
debasement to become accepted by the white fascists, you know,
the Tim Scott ploy, only with lots of online swearing
(32:42):
that even Tim Scott would not think of. I can't
say that. NBC News is now citing documents showing that
White quote was ordered to catch up after he fell
behind on court mandated child support payments at least a
half a dozen times from twenty twenty to twenty twenty three.
Court filings in two cases show White, a father of four,
(33:02):
was twice found in contempt of court over the findings,
one of them in a Minnesota county, where he remains
in constructive contempt, facing the ongoing threat of a one
hundred and eighty day jail sentence should he again fail
to keep up with the payments. The next hearing in
that case is set for October twenty first, two weeks
before the election. White's response quote talk about some real issues,
(33:25):
White said in the interview. A lot of people have
child support, a lot of people have alimony, a lot
of people have back child support. All you liberals really
just want to shame people with kids because you're anti human.
As f unquote, the best part of Royce White's campaign
(33:45):
is that he is, in large part running on the
fact that he is. As even this NBC article notes,
quote Royce White, a former NBA player National Basketball Association
whil Sir Royce White's NBA career lasted eight minutes and
fifty five seconds. Eight minutes and fifty five seconds that's
(34:07):
how long he played for the twenty fourteen Sacramento Kings.
He played fifty six seconds in the March twenty first
game against San Antonio forty nine seconds on March twenty
third against Milwaukee, and a whopping seven minutes and ten
seconds on March twenty sixth against New York. Royce White
scored no points, Riyce White had no rebounds, Royce White
(34:29):
made no free throws, Royce White made no assists, and
Royce White took one shot which he missed. In other words,
Royce White's NBA career is exactly eight minutes and fifty
five seconds longer than yours was, and you scored as
many points as he did. But our winner here is
(34:53):
Christy Nome the worst. It's hard to say what her
boast in her new book that she murdered her daughter's
puppy because she failed to train it properly. What that's
done to her political career. We know what it has
done to with the book. In its first week, with
all the pre sales and the bulk book orders coming through,
Christy Nomes No Going Back. Good call on the title.
(35:17):
No Going Back sold twenty one nine hundred and eighty
one copies in this country. Pretty good in fact, about
average for right wing in doctrination books. Week two, with
news of the murder and the disastrous book tour just
beginning to sync in nearly a fifty percent drop off.
Nomes sold eleven thousand copies in week two, Week three,
(35:38):
Make or Break Week for any book, May nineteenth through
May twenty fifth. Christy Nomes book that she might as
well have renamed it, I Kill Puppies. Christy Nomes Books
sold nationwide in a week two hundred and thirty seven copies,
two hundred and thirty seven, two three and a seven,
(36:00):
nearly twenty two thousand copies in week one, two hundred
and thirty seven in week three. As one editor put it,
it's the most dramatic drop off in sales he's seen
in thirty years in the business. And if you want
the jaw dropping statistic to go at that assertion, that
drop off from week one sales to week three sales
is a mere nine two hundred and seventy five percent.
(36:25):
And we don't even know what the totals are for
returns of people who bought the book and said I
don't want it in my house. Christy, Hey, what about
those movie rights? Have you sold the movie rights yet?
Gnome two days worst author and Lord to the master
(37:03):
the work of James Thurber. There is a short film
of this story. I don't think it really does it justice.
I don't think anything does it justice. Occasionally, real life
does do it justice. I've thought I've seen this story
playing out in real time in this country almost every
day for about seven years. Sit back and relax, if
(37:27):
relax is the right word for it. For the Greatest
Man in the World by James Thurber. Looking back on
it now from the vantage point of nineteen forty one
can only marvel that it had not happened. Long before
it did. The United States of America had been ever
since Kitty Hawk blindly constructing the elaborate petard by which,
(37:52):
sooner or later it must be hoist. It was inevitable
that someday there would come, roaring out of the skies
a national hero of insufficient intelligence background, and characters tesfully
to endure the mounting orgies of glory, prepared for aviators
who stayed up for a long time or flew a
great distance. Both Lindbergh and Byrd, fortunately for national decorum
(38:17):
and international amity, had been gentlemen, So had our other
famous aviators. They wore their laurels gracefully, withstood the awful
weather of publicity, married excellent women, usually fine family and
quietly retired to private life and the enjoyment of their
varying fortunes. No untoward incidents on a worldwide scale marred
(38:39):
the perfection of their conduct on the perilous heights of fame.
The exception to the rule was, however, bound to occur,
and it did in July nineteen thirty seven, when Jack
Pal Smirch erstwhile mechanics helper in a small garage in Westfield, Iowa,
(39:01):
flew a second hand single motored Brest Haven the Dragonfly
three monoplane all the way around the world without stopping.
Never before in the history of aviation had such a
flight as Smirches even been dreamed of. No one had
even taken seriously the weird floating auxiliary gas tanks invention
(39:24):
of the mad New Hampshire professor of astronomy, doctor Charles Lewis, Gresham,
upon which Smirch placed full reliance. When the garage worker,
a slightly built, surly unprepossessing young men of twenty two,
appeared at Roosevelt Field early in July nineteen thirty seven,
slowly chewing a great quid of scrap tobacco and announced,
(39:47):
nobody ain't seen no flying yet. The newspapers touched briefly
and satirically upon his projected twenty five thousand mile flight.
Aeronautical and automotive experts dismissed the idea, curtly, implying that
it was a hoax, the publicity stunt. The rusty, the
battered second hand plane wouldn't go, The Gresham auxiliary tanks
(40:11):
wouldn't work. It was simply a cheap joke smirch. However,
after calling on a girl in Brooklyn who worked in
the flap folding department of a large paper box factory,
a girl whom he later described as his sweet Petuti
climbed nonchalantly into his ridiculous plane at dawn the memorable
(40:35):
seventh of July nineteen thirty seven, spit a curve of
tobacco juice into the still air, and took off, carrying
with him only a gallon of bootleg gin and six
pounds of salami. When the garage boy thundered out over
the ocean, the papers were forced to record in all
seriousness that a mad, unknown young man his name was
(40:58):
variously misspelled, had actually set out upon a preposterous attempt
to span the world in a rickety one engine contraption,
trusting to the long distance refueling device of a crazy schoolmaster.
When nine days later, without having stopped once, the tiny
plane appeared above San Francisco Bay, headed for New York,
(41:19):
spluttering and choking, to be sure, but still magnificently and
miraculously aloft the headlines which long since had crowded everything
else off the front page. Even the shooting of the
Governor of Illinois by the Valetti Gang swelled to unprecedented size,
and the news stories began to run to twenty five
and thirty columns. It was noticeable, however, that the accounts
(41:45):
of the epoch making flight touched rather lightly upon the
aviator himself. This was not because the facts about the
hero as a man were too meager, but because they
were too complete. Reporters who had been rushed out to
Iowa when smirches Play was first sighted over the little
(42:06):
French coast town of Serlee Lemaire to dig up the
story of the great man's life, had promptly discovered that
the story of his life could not be printed. His mother,
a sullen short order cook, and a shack restaurant on
the edge of a tourists camping ground near Westfield, met
all inquiries as to her son with an angry and
the hell with him a hope he drowns. His father
(42:29):
appeared to be in jail somewhere for stealing spotlights and
lap robes from tourists automobiles. His young brother, a weak
minded lad, had but recently escaped from the Preston, Iowa Reformatory,
and was already wanted in several Western towns for the
theft of money order blanks from post offices. These alarming
(42:49):
discoveries were still piling up at the very time that
pal Smirch, the greatest hero of the twentieth century, blear eyed,
dead for sleep, half starved, was piloting his crazy junk
heap high above the region in which the lamentable story
of his private life was being unearthed, headed for New
York and a greater glory than any man of his
(43:10):
time had ever known. The necessity for printing some account
in the papers of the young man's career and personality
had led to a remarkable predicament. It was, of course,
impossible to reveal the facts for a tremendous popular feeling
in favor of the young hero had sprung up like
(43:31):
a grass fire when he was halfway across Europe on
his flight around the globe. He was therefore described as
a modest, chap taciturn blonde, popular with his friends, popular
with girls. The only available snapshot of Smirch, taken at
the wheel of a phony automobile in a cheap photo
studio at an amusement park, was touched up so that
(43:53):
the little vulgarian looked quite handsome. His twisted leer was
smoothed into a pleasant smile. The truth was in this
way kept from the youth's static compatriots. They did not
dream that the Smirch family was despised and feared by
its neighbors in the obscure Iowa town, nor that the
(44:13):
hero himself, because of numerous unsavory exploits, had come to
be regarded in Westfield as a nuisance and a menace.
Pal's Smirch had, the reporters discovered, once knife the principle
of his high school, not mortally, to be sure, but
he had knifed him, and on another occasion, surprised in
(44:34):
the act of an stealing altar cloth from a church,
he had bashed the sexton over the head with a
pot of Easter lilies. For each of these offenses, he
had served a sentence in the reformatory. Inwardly, the authorities,
both in New York and in Washington, prayed that an
understanding providence might, however awful, such a thing seemed, bring
(44:59):
disaster to the rusty, battered plane and its illustrious pilot,
whose unheard of flight had a rid the civilized world
to hosannas of hysterical praise. The authorities were convinced that
the character of the renowned aviator was such that the
limelight of adulation was bound to reveal him to all
the world as a congenital hooligan, mentally and morally unequipped
(45:23):
to cope with his own prodigious fame. I trust, said
the Secretary of State, at one of the many secret
cabinet meetings called to consider the national dilemma. I trust
that his mother's prayer will be answered, by which he
referred to missus Emma's Smirch's wish that her son might
be drowned. It was, however, too late for that. Smirch
(45:48):
had leaped the Atlantic and then the Pacific as if
they were mill ponds. At three minutes after two o'clock
on the afternoon of July seventeenth, nineteen thirty seven, the
garage boy brought his idiotic plane into Roosevelt Field for
a perfect three point landing. It had, of course been
out of the question to arrange a modest little reception
(46:09):
for the greatest flier in the history of the world.
He was received at Roosevelt Field with such elaborate and
pretentious ceremonies as rocked the world. Fortunately, however, the warren
and spent hero promptly swooned, had to be removed bodily
from his plane, and was spirited from the field without
having opened his mouth once. Thus he did not jeopardize
(46:31):
the dignity of his first reception, a reception illumined by
the presence of the Secretaries of War and the Navy,
Mayor Michael J. Moriarty of New York, the Premier of Canada,
Governors Fanamine Groves, mcpheey and Critchfield, and a brilliant array
of European diplomats. Smirch did not, in fact come too
in time to take part in the gigantic hullabaloo arranged
(46:53):
at city Hall for the next day. He was rushed
to a secluded nursing home and confined in bed. It
was nine days before he was able to get up, or,
to be more exact, before he was permitted to get up. Meanwhile,
the greatest minds in the country in solemn assembly, had
arranged a secret conference of city, state and government officials,
(47:16):
which Smirch was to attend for the purpose of being
instructed in the ethics and behavior of heroism. On the
day that the little mechanic was finally allowed to get
up in dress and for the first time in two weeks,
took a great chew of tomacco, he was permitted to
receive the newspaper men this by way of testing him out.
(47:38):
Smirch did not wait for questions. Use guys, he said,
and the Times man winced. Use guys can tell the
cock eyed world that I put it over on Lindberg.
See yeah, made an assaid, I'm two frogs. The two frogs.
It was a reference to a pair of gallant French flyers, who,
(48:00):
in attempting to flight only halfway round the world, had
two weeks before unhappily been lost at sea. The Times
Man was bold enough at this point to sketch out
for Smirch the accepted formula for interviews in cases of
this kind. He explained that there should be no arrogant
statements belittling the achievements of other heroes, particularly heroes of
(48:21):
foreign nations. Ah, the hell with that, said Smirch. I
did it. See I did it, and I'm talking about it,
and he did talk about it. None of this extraordinary
interview was, of course printed. On the contrary, the newspapers,
already under the discipline direction of a secret directorate created
(48:42):
for the occasion and composed of statesmen and editors, gave
out to a panting and restless world that Jackie, as
he had been arbitrarily nicknamed, would consent to say only
that he was very happy, and that anyone could have
done what he did. My achievement has been I fear
slightly exaggerated. The Times Man's article had him protest with
(49:04):
a mind modest smile. These newspaper stories were kept from
the hero, a restriction which did not serve to abate
the rising malevolence of his temper. The situation was indeed
extremely grave. For Palell. Smirch was as he kept insisting,
raring to go, he could not much longer be kept
(49:26):
from a nation clamorous to lionize him. It was the
most desperate crisis the United States of America had faced
since the sinking of Belusitania. On the afternoon of the
twenty seventh of July, Smirch was spirited away to a
conference room in which were gathered mayors, governors, government officials, behaviorist, psychologists,
(49:47):
and editors. He gave them each a limp moist paw,
and a brief, unlovely grin, hi, he said. When Smirch
was seated, the Mayor of New York arose, and, with
obvious pessimism, attempted to explain what he must say and
how he must act when presented to the world, ending
(50:07):
his talk with a high tribute to the hero's courage
and integrity. The mayor was followed by Governor Fannaman of
New York, who, after a touching declaration of faith, introduced
Cameron Spottiswood, second Secretary of the American Embassy in Paris,
the gentleman selected to coach Smirch in the amenities of
public ceremonies. Sitting in a chair with a soiled yellow
(50:30):
tie in his hand and his shirt open at the throat, unshaved,
smoking a rolled cigarette. Jack Smirch listened with a leer
on his lips. I get you, I get you, He
cut in nastily. You want me to act like a softie. Huh?
You want me to act like that? Memeny, mmany baby face,
(50:51):
lind big huh, Well nuts to that. See. Everyone took
in his breath sharply. It was a sigh and a hiss.
Mister Lindbergh began a United States senator with rage, and
mister bird Smirch, who was paring his nails with a jackknife,
cut in again. Boyd, he exclaimed, Oh, for God's sake,
(51:14):
that big somebody shut off the blasphemies with a sharp word.
A newcomer had entered the word the room. Everyone stood up,
except Smirch, who was still busy with his nails, and
he did not even glance up. Mister Smirch, said someone sternly.
The President of the United States. It had been thought
that the presence of the Chief Executive might have a
(51:35):
chastening effect on the young hero, and the former had
been thanks to the remarkable cooperation of the press secretly
brought to the obscure conference room. A great, painful silence fell.
Smirch looked up, waved a hand at the president. How
(51:56):
you coming, he asked, and began rolling a fresh cigarette.
The silence deepened. Someone coughed in a strained way. Jesuits hot,
ain't it, said Smirch. He loosened two more shirt buttons,
(52:18):
revealing a hairy chest and the tattooed word sadie enclosed
in a stenciled heart. The great and important men in
the room, faced by the most serious crisis in American history,
exchanged worried frowns. Nobody seemed to know how to proceed.
Come on, come on, said Smirch. Let's get the hell
(52:40):
out of here. Why do I start cutting in on
the podies? Eh? And when is there gonna be this
in it? He rubbed a thumb and forefinger together meaningly. Money,
exclaimed a state senator, shocked pale, Yeah money, said pal,
flipping his cigarette out of the window. And big money.
(53:02):
He began rolling a fresh cigarette. Big money, he repeated,
Frowning over the rice paper. He tilted back in his
chair and leered at each gentleman separately. The leer of
an animal that knows its power, the leer of a
leopard loose in a bird and dog shop. Ah, for
(53:23):
God's sake, let's get someplace where it's cool, he said.
I've been cooped up plenty for three weeks. Smirch stood
up and walked over to an open window, where he
stood staring down into the street nine floors below. The
faint shouting of newsboys floated up to him. He made
out his name, hot Dog, he cried, grinning ecstatic. He
(53:47):
leaned out over the sill. You tell um babies, he
shouted down, Hot Diggity Dog. In the tense little knot
of men standing behind him, a quick, mad impulse flared up.
An unspoken word of a peal of manned seemed to
ring through the room, yet it was deadly silent. Charles K.
(54:09):
L Brand, secretary to the Mayor of New York City,
happened to be standing nearest Smirch. He looked inquiringly at
the President of the United States. The President pale grim,
nodded shortly. Brand, a tall, powerfully built man wants to
tackle at Rutgers University, stepped forward, seized the greatest man
in the world by his left shoulder and the seat
(54:31):
of his pants, and pushed him out the window. My god,
he's falling out the window, cried a quick witted editor.
Get me out of here, cried the president. Several men
sprang to his side, and he was hurriedly escorted out
of a door toward a side entrance of the building.
The editor of the Associated Press took charge, Being used
to such things crisply, he ordered certain men to leave,
others to stay. Quickly. He outlined a story which all
(54:53):
the papers were to agree on, sent two men to
the street to handle that end of the tragedy, commanded
a Senator to sob, and two congressmen to go to
pieces nervously. In a word, he skilled fully set the
stage for the gigantic task that was to follow, the
task of breaking to a grief stricken world. The sad
story of the untimely accidental death of its most illustrious
(55:17):
and spectacular figure. The funeral was, as you know, the
most elaborate, the finest, the solemnesst, and the saddest ever
held in the United States of America. The monument in
Arlington Cemetery, with its clean white shaft of marble and
the simple device of a tiny plane carved on its
(55:41):
base is a place for pilgrims in deep reverence to visit.
The nations of the world paid lofty tributes to Little
Jackie Smirch, America's greatest hero. At a given hour, there
were two minutes of silence throughout the nation. Even the
(56:01):
inhabitants of the small, bewildered town of Westfield, Iowa, observed
this touching ceremony. Agents of the Department of Justice sough
to that one of them was especially assigned to stand
grimly in the doorway of a little shack restaurant on
the edge of the tourist's camping ground just outside the town. There,
(56:23):
under his stern scrutiny, Missus Emma Smirch bowed her head
over to Hamburger steaks sizzling on her grill. Bowed her
head and turned away so that the secret serviceman could
not see the twisted, strangely familiar leer on her lips.
(56:57):
The Greatest Man in the World by James Thurber, How
could he have known? I've done all the damage I
can do here. Thank you for listening. Countdown. Musical directors
Brian Ray and John Phillip Chanel arranged, produced, and performed
most of our music. Mister Ray was on the guitars,
the bass in the drums. Mister Chanelle handled orchestration and keyboards.
It was produced by Tko Brothers. Other music, including some
(57:19):
of the Beethoven compositions, arranged and performed by the group
No Horns Allowed. Sports music is the Olderman theme from
ESPN two, written by Mitch Warren Davis, courtesy of ESPN Inc.
Our satirical and pithy musical comments are by Nancy Fauss,
the best baseball stadium organist ever. Our announcer today was
my friend Stevie van Zacht, and everything else was pretty
(57:40):
much my fault. So that's countdown for this the one
hundred and sixtieth day until the twenty twenty four presidential election.
The two and forty first day since convicted fellon Donald
Trump's first attempt to coop against the democratically elected government
of the United States. Use the July eleventh sentencing hearing,
use the mental health system, use presidential immunity if it happens,
(58:04):
use the not regularly given elector objection option to stop
him from doing it again while we still can. The
next scheduled Countdown is Tuesday bulletins as the news warrants
till then, I'm Keith Ulreman. Good morning, good afternoon, good night,
and good luck. Countdown with Keith Oulderman is a production
(58:34):
of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. Convicted
felon Donald Trump has been found guilty and guilty, and
(00:28):
guilty and guilty, guilty, guilty and guilty, guilty, guilty, and
guilty and guilty, guilty, ish, guilty, adjacent guilty, esque, also
guilty and guilty, gay, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, very guilty,
repeatedly guilty, incredibly guilty, extra guilty, extra large guilty, extra
crispy guilty, diet guilty, lemon scented guilty, family size guilty,
(00:53):
tartar control guilty, and lastly not not guilty. Of course,
we knew he was guilty. This was just the legal
system confirming it and before getting to what really matters
right now, which is in fact what happens not right now.
But next I would like to observe that, no, this
(01:14):
was not the legal system finally getting around to confirming
that he's guilty. Convicted felon. Donald Trump is now O
for five on trial his corporation guilty of seventeen felonies,
his first Egene Carroll trial finding him liable for sexual
abuse and defamation, his second Egen Carroll trial, finding him
(01:36):
more guilty. For a total of eighty nine million dollars
in liability. He was guilty in his civil fraud case
for a total of three hundred and fifty five million
in liability, and now thirty four count them thirty four
felonies thirty four and oh number thirty four, s Keel O'Neill,
Nolan Ryan thirty four, Austin Matthews, and best of all,
(01:57):
hersh Sholwalker. Trump just got herschel Walker thirty four. And
before I stop celebrating, I really need clarification from the
millions of Trump cultists who are just as assuredly not
stopping symbolically nailing themselves to crosses right now. Is this,
(02:17):
Fernando valezuela uniform number worth of thirty four convictions? Is
this the political gift from the Democrats and Biden that
assures Trump wins the election, as you all keep saying,
or is it election interference that guarantees he does not
win the election, as you idiots also all keep saying.
(02:40):
Because this is where I finally get to what's next,
And what's next is no, it's neither. What it is
is potentially just enough, just this, no sentence to jail,
no espionage trial, no election subversion trial, no Georgia trial,
just this, just this conviction, these convictions, this could cost
(03:05):
him two percent of Republican voters. That's where the polling
seems to have bottomed out. All of the polling done
before the verdict. Did I mention? They found him guilty
thirty four times. It's like three convictions per hour of
jury deliberation. And yet every news organization, every news organization
(03:27):
has reported or printed or posted that statistic that it
could cost him, according to polling, two percent, maybe more,
but two percent of Republican support, as if that meant
it was going to cost him like thirty four votes.
The loss of two percent of Trump's Republican support in
the twenty twenty presidential election would have cost Trump one million,
(03:52):
four hundred and eighty four, four hundred and eighty votes.
If the two percent applied evenly to the electoral college,
it would have cost him five electoral votes. The loss
of two percent of Republican support in the twenty sixteen
presidential election would have cost convicted Fellon Donald Trump forty
(04:13):
six thousand votes in Michigan. It would have cost him
fifty nine four hundred votes in Pennsylvania. Would have cost
him twenty eight thousand votes in Wisconsin. In other words,
in twenty sixteen, two percent would have cost him Michigan, Pennsylvania,
and Wisconsin. In other words, two percent would have cost
him the twenty sixteen election, and Donald Trump would be
(04:36):
a host on News Nation right now. And that math,
that two percent math is conservative because except when speaking
about the impact on the electoral college in twenty sixteen,
were suddenly two percent means Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin go
to Hillary Clinton. Except when speaking of that, this does
(04:56):
not even address how many of that two percent of
Republican voters he loses because of the thirty four convictions.
How many of those go to Biden? Because if half
of them go to Biden, that means the guilty verdicts
yesterday just gave the president an additional three points in
(05:18):
the polling. It's only two percent. Yeah, if the two
percent that convicted fellon Trump just lost, stays home. Now,
before you misinterpret my enthusiasms and say, oh good, that
means I can take the summer off and I'll check
back in with you on the race and like September,
(05:40):
That's not the way it works. That two percent number
is as flexible and fluid and unreliable as everything else
now in our new unhappy world in which some goddamn
son of a bitch turned off all the gravity. Now,
this does not mean that two percent will drop to
(06:02):
one percent or less. The Mark Law Poll polled on
this issue last week. Its overall picture convicted fell in
Trump ahead of Biden nationally by four. Then it asked
half of its sample who they would vote for if convicted.
Fella and Trump were convicted in the Stormy Daniel's case,
(06:22):
and they went for Biden by four, meaning that the
actual swing isn't two points against Trump or three points
for Biden, but eight points for Biden. I used that
two percent figure because it seemed to be closer to
something like a consensus figure, and as I think those
numbers suggest it sounds like nothing. It ain't nothing. Of course,
(06:45):
if it's four points, not two points, that's just under
three million votes it would cost Trump. And if that
eight point swing from this Marquette Law pole could possibly
be true, that would mean five million, nine hundred and
thirty seven, nine hundred and twenty more votes for Joe Biden.
(07:07):
The media is summed up the possible impact on the
polls by saying it's only two points. It is much
more fixated on the timing of the sentencing, now scheduled
for Thursday, July eleventh, with the Republican Convention Thug Life
twenty four opening in Milwaukee on Monday July fifteenth. First
of all, Trump's defense. You know, the guys who just
(07:29):
went oh for thirty four, They asked for and will
again ask for a delay in sentencing until late July
after the convention, and they stand at least a fifty
to fifty chance of getting it, because for other felons
convicted of this and similar crimes, there would be no
really good reason not to grant a delay of two
(07:49):
weeks in sentencing. Secondly, there is also the chance that
Justice Wan Mereschan could rationalize no prison time for Trump,
even though these are felonies. It has been suggested that
the real argument weighing now in favor of something some
token sentence like house arrest or weekends in the joint
(08:11):
for three months, The real argument in favor of that
is all of Trump's violations of the gag order. In fact,
the da Alvin Bragg, who did not just get up
at his press conference last night and say, I having
told you so, Losers District Attorney Bragg instead answered a
question about the gag orders by referencing the sentencing hearing,
(08:35):
and that is a really bad omen for Trump. He
didn't say we'll see about that later. He said, well,
the sentencing hearing is on July eleventh. But again, even
if on July eleventh or July twenty fifth, Mershawn says,
I've decided to make an example of mister O for
thirty four over here and sentenced him to forty years
(08:57):
in prison. It's not like he's going to be handcuffed
on the spot and walked directly to Attica. And yes,
by the way, Attica is still open. They got like
two thousand felons in Attica. And the best part of
the story of Attica is that all the online info
about it mentions the fact that Attica is open twenty
(09:19):
four hours. Trump cannot appeal the verdict until after the
sentence is determined, and then, as we've seen, if he
gets a judge he appointed or another crook, he can
delay even the hearing until the year twenty five, twenty five.
(09:41):
The point of this beyond the fact that the legal
system hasn't finally caught up with him, it is continuing
to finally catch up with him. Is that just a
dent in his support could be enough to decide the
election for Biden? One assumes there will now be a
flurry of polling, especially in the swing states, as to
(10:03):
the impact of the actual verdicts yesterday. If there are
enough polls, we might be able to move that consensus
number one way or the other, because there is for
once a practical reality and a meaning to discussions of
the horse race. You and I have known Trump as
a crook for at least the last nine years. As
(10:23):
I've mentioned many times. I met him in December nineteen
eighty three, and I knew it then. But for the
vast number of Americans who will head to the polls
on November fifth, including that seventy one percent of Democrats
who know next to nothing about Project twenty twenty five,
this event is important because it is exactly the kind
(10:44):
of concrete event and the breathtaking historical moment they keep
hyping on television while the rest of us say, where
have you people been since twenty fifteen? Oh, it's been
has been breathtaking historical moments. I'd like to have a
couple of years without any breathaking goddamn historical moments. Thank you,
(11:07):
Because still, for everything else that has changed, it is
still one thing for Americans to look at somebody and say, yeah,
this guy's corrupt and he's morally bankrupt. But it's something
completely different to look at a jury coming back on
day two of its deliberations having convicted the son of
(11:28):
a bitch of everything. Okay, some other sequelae one. Brian
Boutler again notes that convicted felons are disqualified from getting
clearance to receive classified intelligence. Donald Trump is a convicted felon.
He's convicted felon, Donald Trump. He got a call him that.
(11:50):
And Donald Trump, convicted felon, is a convicted fellain. The
Biden administration now has every right to deny him the
customary other candidate intel briefings and ignoring this law that
is not doing what's fair. It would be ignoring a
law instituted for good reason. We don't give our classified
intelligence to felons. Look what he did with it before
(12:13):
he was a felon. Number two, the Republican response to
felon Trump's convictions. Is not only not gracious, the early
evidence is it's not smart. Yes, they'll raise money off
of it, of course they will. They would have found
the money anywhere anyway. But Larry Hogan, the somehow Republican
(12:36):
governor of Maryland, who could easily now become the Republican
Senator from Maryland and tip the Senate back to the Republicans, writes,
regardless of the results, I urge all Americans to respect
the verdict and the legal process. At this dangerously divided
moment in our history, all leaders, regardless of party, must
not pour fuel on the fire with more toxic partisanship.
(13:00):
We must reaffirm what has made this nation great, rule
of law, to which Trump's de facto co campaign chief
Swift Vote Chris Lasovita writes, you just ended your campaign.
Good call, Skezics. The last thing you want in a
(13:21):
Trump dictatorship or a Biden second term. The last thing
you wants, Chris mfing idiot Lasovita, The last thing you
want is a Republican Senate. Moron, utter, unabashed, irredeemable moron,
(13:42):
make all the decisions for the campaign. Chris Lasavida, you
have the brains of a collar stay. I refer you
back to Olderman's corollary about how democracy survives because of
the stupidity of those who seek to destroy it. Chris
Lsavita's senior campaign advisor to convicted fellon Donald Trump, the
(14:03):
Republican nominee for president of jail. And lastly, three do
not ignore the new tape which got absolutely buried in
the news by the convictions. Former Apprentice producer Bill Prewett
confirms at Slate the literally two decade old rumor that
(14:23):
Trump is on tape from that god awful television show
dropping the N word. On tape. There is a dispute
as they film about how to fire an African American contestant.
It's the first show. The routine isn't set. They haven't
even really invented the phrase you're fired yet, And of
(14:43):
course Trump is a racist nutbag. Why didn't somebody else
do the firing? Trump asks, why do I have to
do it? Quoting Bill Prewett quote, that's not his job.
Show runner Jay Beanstock says to Trump, that's yours. Trump's
head continues to Bob, I don't think he knew he
had the ability to do that. Trump on air advisor
(15:04):
Carolyn Capture says, Trump winces again. Yeah, he says to
no one in particular, but I mean with America, buy
a N word here winning Capture's pale skin goes bright red.
I turned my gaze toward Trump. He continues to WinCE.
He is serious, and he is adamant about not hiring
(15:25):
mister Jackson. Look, I know, and I knew it within
hours that it was not that we lost our moral
way as a nation the day the Access Hollywood tape
was revealed and the Republicans did not kick him off
the ticket, and people bought his non apology apology, and
(15:46):
everybody who criticized Trump uncriticized him within the year at
the absolute latest, we did not lose our way. Then
what happened was we realized that in thirty five to
fifty percent of this country, our way had long since
been replaced by something new in which Americans looked four
and applauded venality. My online friend La Mistal noted, the
(16:12):
people who vote for Trump know he uses the N word,
That's why they like him. Elly also jokingly predicted Tim
Scott would be using that word by next week. I
think he meant it jokingly, and I know that a
similar charge using the N word in a workplace environment
(16:33):
roughly twenty years ago was just leveled against a Democratic
congressman from New Mexico, and worse. When Politico's email newsletter
covered both of these stories yesterday, they gave the story
of the congressman and the N word three long paragraphs
and the story of Trump and the N word two paragraphs. Well,
(16:55):
it's all like it's early news. The people baked it in.
But I'll circle back to that idea that the stormy
Daniel's convictions will only cost Trump two percent of his
voters in twenty sixteen and to a lesser but still
sizable degree in twenty twenty. Lots of us, and I
(17:16):
confess to this freely. I did it. Lots of us
were looking for some knockout punch that would end Trump's
primary candidacy, or his nomination, or his presidency or his
reelection campaign. If you're in the middle of a nightmare,
you want to wake up from it immediately, and it
could still happen, who knows. But bluntly, we should stop
(17:38):
wasting our time looking for it, looking for a knockout punch.
What we should do is keep looking for things that
cost him two percent of his support or one percent
or one tenth of a percent, Because if the damage
yesterday from the courtroom turns out to only be not
two percent but one and a half percent, but the
(17:59):
damage from Trump and the N word tape is the
fifths of one percent. Just to choose a random number,
guess what. He did not lose one million, four hundred
and eighty five thousand votes yesterday. He lost one million,
six hundred thirty three thousand votes yesterday. That makes it
(18:24):
a good day just as important to my mind as
the Trump verdicts this Chairman Durbin, Senator White House, this
is simple. If Chief Justice John Roberts will not meet
(18:45):
voluntarily with you about the corruption on his court, about
the perjurers on his court, about the politically active and
biased judges on his court, subpoena him, and if Chief
Justice John Roberts will not then testify to your Senate
Judiciary Committee, arrest him. With every passing minute and every
(19:08):
new revelation, the Supreme Court of the United States is
losing more and more of it's already near fatally low
levels of credibility. Like them or loathe them, And obviously
I loathe them, but a delegitimized Supreme Court is a
bad augur for hopes of holding the constitutional based government
(19:29):
together in the years, maybe decades of risk that lie
ahead of us, and would continue to lie ahead of
us even if Roberts, Alito, and Thomas resigned today. If
you missed this, Durbin and Whitehouse wrote to Roberts a
week ago, yesterday, long before the latest version of the
latest Alito scandal, just the latest of the latest Supreme
(19:53):
Court scandals, and they asked Roberts to meet with them,
not asking for his testimony, not asking for him to
swear himself in, not asking for his resignation, not asking
for him his papers. Just meet yesterday. Came his reply,
in which he, in short, declares himself and Alito and
Thomas and the other Conservatives, the kings and Queens of
(20:18):
the United States for life, answerable to no one. I quote,
I must respectfully decline your request for a meeting, as
noted in my letter to Chairman Durbin last April, apart
from ceremonial events, only on rare occasions in our nation's history,
as a sitting chief justice met with legislators, even in
(20:40):
a public setting such as a committee hearing with members
of both political parties present separation of powers concerns and
the importance of preserving judicial independence. Council against such appearances. Moreover,
the format proposed a meeting with leaders of only one
(21:01):
party who have expressed an interest in matters currently pending
before the Court simply underscores that participating in such a
meeting would be inadvisable. John Roberts is hiding behind judicial
independence that he and especially Alito and Thomas long since forfeited,
(21:23):
long since hoard away, and in Clarence Thomas's case, that
is meant literally Clarence Thomas is a whore. And Roberts
is invoking of separation of powers in this context shows
how little meaning that phrase has for him or the others,
and that they do not know why the separation of
(21:43):
powers was created by the framers of the Constitution. The
powers are separate. The goal of those intended to wield
those powers is meant to be one goal. If there
is an imbalance somewhere, The men who wield that power
were always meant to interact and to try to resolve,
(22:04):
and to try to compromise for the greater good of
the United States of America as corny and as perhaps
impossible as that seems in the context of what we
saw in a New York courtroom yesterday, Roberts's answer to
this naive but at least well intentioned invitation from Durban
(22:25):
and White House is a dignified, gussied up f you commoners,
try and make me show up. Conservatism as a reactionary
movement dedicated against liberty, began to assert itself in the
nineteen fifties and spurred it out briefly with Barry Goldwater
(22:47):
and to some degree although his corruption truly transcended any
particular brand of politics with Richard Nixon, but it's stuck
with Ronald effing Reagan, and it became a cult with
Ronald Reagan. And John Roberts was a Reagan White House
Law Office flunky, and Sam Alito was in the Reagan
(23:08):
Department of Justice. And Clarence Thomas was in what must
be seen in retrospect as an utter irony Assistant Secretary
for Civil Rights at Reagan's Department of Education. The man
who's trying to undo Brown v. Board of Education. The
parts of this Supreme Court, this illegitimate Supreme theocratic Court
(23:32):
under John Roberts. The parts of it that are not
Trump are all Ronald Reagan still effing with us from
beyond the grave. The surviving dregs of Reaganism are outdated
in this country by decades. These men entered into politics
and government corrupt and backwards looking on day one, animated
(23:55):
as Reagan was by the ends justifying the means, and
in the ensuing forty plus years they have only gotten worse.
They have been here soul so tirelessly in their devotion
to pushing back the future that they have been mistaken
for the system, the establishment, and in anything approaching a democracy,
(24:18):
the system eventually becomes self protecting, which brings us back
to Dick Durbin and his response to the Alito crisis,
and the shadow version of this nightmare of one of
the major parties running a convicted felon, a thirty four
times convicted felon as its candidate in a presidential election
is the reality, the not unconnected reality that a Supreme
(24:41):
Court compromised in a base and shabby way not seen
since before the Civil War, a Supreme Court may ultimately
decide that presidential election in which one of the parties
is running a convicted felon. This cannot stand. At least
half of us, at least our side of this, we
(25:04):
have wish it would never come to this. We may
in fact have been guilty of living in denial about
it eventually coming to this. But one way or the other,
this nation, in the years and decades to come, is
going to undergo sweeping basic change, perhaps on the scale
scene between the time before the Civil War and the
time after the Civil War. As Lincoln once said about slavery,
(25:26):
it will become all one thing or all the other.
We will become a nation, a flawed but honorable sort
of democracy that works for most of its people, that
intends to do good most of the time in the world,
or we will become an authoritarian state sharing the spoils
(25:48):
of a dying planet with the Russians. But whichever way
it will change, and change is the enemy of a
self protecting system, and Dick Durbin is so deeply in
dede the self protecting system that he does not want
to take a step, no matter how essential, that would
(26:11):
shatter precedents or set new ones. The essence of self
protection is never having to face anything new. You don't
subpoena the Chief Justice of the United States, because they
didn't subpoena Chief Justice Charles Evans Hughes, did they. Therefore,
when the day comes that the Chief Justice is corrupt,
(26:34):
is politically compromised, is convinced he is an unelected king
of America, you will let him get away with it.
We cannot let this happen. Change will come to this country,
and it will come violently. And I hope I mean
the word violently as a metaphor, but bluntly, my hope
(26:55):
that I do mean it that way. Changes every couple days.
Much of what we know about this nation will change.
And it is up to us. It is right now
up to people like Senator Durbin of Illinois to decide
whether the change will liberate this nation and increase its
freedom for its people and increase the civic responsibility and
(27:17):
probity of its servants like chief Justices and Senate Judiciary chairs,
whether it will do that, or whether it will permit
the crooks like John Roberts and Clarence Thomas and Samuel
Alito and Donald Trump to enslave the rest of us.
Because the Dick Durbins feared what would happen if they
(27:38):
stopped obeying and protecting the self protecting system. Senator, if
Chief Justice Roberts will not talk to you, subpoena him,
If he will not appear before your committee, arrest him.
The only part of the self protecting system that needs
(27:58):
to be protected is the premise that we are a
nation of laws and not of men. And if you
said that to John Roberts after that answer to that
question in that letter, it is clear now that bluntly,
John Roberts would have no goddamned idea what the hell
(28:20):
you were talking about? Also of interest here say we
know what happened to Christy Nomes. Dog, we think we
know what happened to Christy nomes national political career. What
the hell happened to the thing that started all this trouble,
Christy Nomes' book. The sales numbers are in, and bluntly,
(28:44):
I am not believing what I am seeing, in large
part because what I am seeing here in those sales
numbers is so small that I feel like I need
a new pair of glasses. That's next, LIS's countdown. This
is countdown with Keith Oberman still ahead of us on
(29:26):
this edition of countdown well after Trump was found guilty
and guilty and guilt Okay, I'm not doing that again,
but after it happened. There is only one story to
read on this Friday with James Thurber, the one in
which Thurber all but prophesied Trump ascant eighty five years
before his election and happily also prophesied Trump's fall. Coming
(29:47):
up on Fridays with Thurber, but first, As ever, there
are still new idiots, new more brand new idiots to
talk about. The daily roundup of the misgrants, morons and
dunning Kruger Effect specimens who constitute today's worst persons in
the world. The runner up worse Clay Travis, right wing
(30:07):
nut job sports want to be turned right wing nut
job political want to be. He's gone after co host
Sonny houstin of the View by way of the new
women's basketball star Caitlyn Clark. To quote Clay Travis, right
wing nutjob, Caitlyn Clark's race and her gender are not
(30:28):
the reasons that she's popular. They had nothing to do
with her becoming the NCAA scoring champion. In fact, regardless
of what race Caitlin Clark was, regardless of her sexuality,
she would still be employed in the WNBA. WNBA. She
could be the ugliest person on the planet. Clay Travis says,
her game still translates her race doesn't matter. Okay, Can
(30:51):
Sonny Houston say the same thing? Sonny Hostin, to my knowledge, rarely,
if ever says anything smart. I do think she's pretty
and she's a minority. Sonny Houston, we're an ugly, fat
white woman. She would have no media career whatsoever if
she had the exact same opinions as she does. Now,
think about that, says Clay Travis. Sonny Houston, you are
(31:13):
an ugly fat woman. You have no media career, unlike
Caitlin Clark, who, regardless of her race or her sexuality,
would be employed in the WNBA. Frankly, we can debate
some of that. If Sonny Houston wasn't pretty and a minority,
she would have no media career whatsoever. If she were
unattractive and white, there's a zero percent chance she would
(31:35):
be on the view, unquote Clay Travis. Well, obviously, Clay
Travis is a no talent racist, but his construction here
has some merit if you in fact pull it out
of this equation and apply it instead to him Clay Travis. Intellectually,
Clay Travis is now what we politely call challenged, and
(31:57):
if he were not fulfilling that niche he would have
no media career whatsoever. The runner up worse. Speaking of sports,
Speaking of spots, there's Royce White, who four years ago
right now is one of the leaders of the George
Floyd protests in Minnesota and then decided he should become
the Republican senator from that state. And he has in
(32:19):
those four years gone totally fascist. And he was endorsed
by the state Republican Party even though the National Republican
Senatorial Commission doesn't want anything to do with them. And
here's why, because he does the traditional African American self
debasement to become accepted by the white fascists, you know,
the Tim Scott ploy, only with lots of online swearing
(32:42):
that even Tim Scott would not think of. I can't
say that. NBC News is now citing documents showing that
White quote was ordered to catch up after he fell
behind on court mandated child support payments at least a
half a dozen times from twenty twenty to twenty twenty three.
Court filings in two cases show White, a father of four,
(33:02):
was twice found in contempt of court over the findings,
one of them in a Minnesota county, where he remains
in constructive contempt, facing the ongoing threat of a one
hundred and eighty day jail sentence should he again fail
to keep up with the payments. The next hearing in
that case is set for October twenty first, two weeks
before the election. White's response quote talk about some real issues,
(33:25):
White said in the interview. A lot of people have
child support, a lot of people have alimony, a lot
of people have back child support. All you liberals really
just want to shame people with kids because you're anti human.
As f unquote, the best part of Royce White's campaign
(33:45):
is that he is, in large part running on the
fact that he is. As even this NBC article notes,
quote Royce White, a former NBA player National Basketball Association
whil Sir Royce White's NBA career lasted eight minutes and
fifty five seconds. Eight minutes and fifty five seconds that's
(34:07):
how long he played for the twenty fourteen Sacramento Kings.
He played fifty six seconds in the March twenty first
game against San Antonio forty nine seconds on March twenty
third against Milwaukee, and a whopping seven minutes and ten
seconds on March twenty sixth against New York. Royce White
scored no points, Riyce White had no rebounds, Royce White
(34:29):
made no free throws, Royce White made no assists, and
Royce White took one shot which he missed. In other words,
Royce White's NBA career is exactly eight minutes and fifty
five seconds longer than yours was, and you scored as
many points as he did. But our winner here is
(34:53):
Christy Nome the worst. It's hard to say what her
boast in her new book that she murdered her daughter's
puppy because she failed to train it properly. What that's
done to her political career. We know what it has
done to with the book. In its first week, with
all the pre sales and the bulk book orders coming through,
Christy Nomes No Going Back. Good call on the title.
(35:17):
No Going Back sold twenty one nine hundred and eighty
one copies in this country. Pretty good in fact, about
average for right wing in doctrination books. Week two, with
news of the murder and the disastrous book tour just
beginning to sync in nearly a fifty percent drop off.
Nomes sold eleven thousand copies in week two, Week three,
(35:38):
Make or Break Week for any book, May nineteenth through
May twenty fifth. Christy Nomes book that she might as
well have renamed it, I Kill Puppies. Christy Nomes Books
sold nationwide in a week two hundred and thirty seven copies,
two hundred and thirty seven, two three and a seven,
(36:00):
nearly twenty two thousand copies in week one, two hundred
and thirty seven in week three. As one editor put it,
it's the most dramatic drop off in sales he's seen
in thirty years in the business. And if you want
the jaw dropping statistic to go at that assertion, that
drop off from week one sales to week three sales
is a mere nine two hundred and seventy five percent.
(36:25):
And we don't even know what the totals are for
returns of people who bought the book and said I
don't want it in my house. Christy, Hey, what about
those movie rights? Have you sold the movie rights yet?
Gnome two days worst author and Lord to the master
(37:03):
the work of James Thurber. There is a short film
of this story. I don't think it really does it justice.
I don't think anything does it justice. Occasionally, real life
does do it justice. I've thought I've seen this story
playing out in real time in this country almost every
day for about seven years. Sit back and relax, if
(37:27):
relax is the right word for it. For the Greatest
Man in the World by James Thurber. Looking back on
it now from the vantage point of nineteen forty one
can only marvel that it had not happened. Long before
it did. The United States of America had been ever
since Kitty Hawk blindly constructing the elaborate petard by which,
(37:52):
sooner or later it must be hoist. It was inevitable
that someday there would come, roaring out of the skies
a national hero of insufficient intelligence background, and characters tesfully
to endure the mounting orgies of glory, prepared for aviators
who stayed up for a long time or flew a
great distance. Both Lindbergh and Byrd, fortunately for national decorum
(38:17):
and international amity, had been gentlemen, So had our other
famous aviators. They wore their laurels gracefully, withstood the awful
weather of publicity, married excellent women, usually fine family and
quietly retired to private life and the enjoyment of their
varying fortunes. No untoward incidents on a worldwide scale marred
(38:39):
the perfection of their conduct on the perilous heights of fame.
The exception to the rule was, however, bound to occur,
and it did in July nineteen thirty seven, when Jack
Pal Smirch erstwhile mechanics helper in a small garage in Westfield, Iowa,
(39:01):
flew a second hand single motored Brest Haven the Dragonfly
three monoplane all the way around the world without stopping.
Never before in the history of aviation had such a
flight as Smirches even been dreamed of. No one had
even taken seriously the weird floating auxiliary gas tanks invention
(39:24):
of the mad New Hampshire professor of astronomy, doctor Charles Lewis, Gresham,
upon which Smirch placed full reliance. When the garage worker,
a slightly built, surly unprepossessing young men of twenty two,
appeared at Roosevelt Field early in July nineteen thirty seven,
slowly chewing a great quid of scrap tobacco and announced,
(39:47):
nobody ain't seen no flying yet. The newspapers touched briefly
and satirically upon his projected twenty five thousand mile flight.
Aeronautical and automotive experts dismissed the idea, curtly, implying that
it was a hoax, the publicity stunt. The rusty, the
battered second hand plane wouldn't go, The Gresham auxiliary tanks
(40:11):
wouldn't work. It was simply a cheap joke smirch. However,
after calling on a girl in Brooklyn who worked in
the flap folding department of a large paper box factory,
a girl whom he later described as his sweet Petuti
climbed nonchalantly into his ridiculous plane at dawn the memorable
(40:35):
seventh of July nineteen thirty seven, spit a curve of
tobacco juice into the still air, and took off, carrying
with him only a gallon of bootleg gin and six
pounds of salami. When the garage boy thundered out over
the ocean, the papers were forced to record in all
seriousness that a mad, unknown young man his name was
(40:58):
variously misspelled, had actually set out upon a preposterous attempt
to span the world in a rickety one engine contraption,
trusting to the long distance refueling device of a crazy schoolmaster.
When nine days later, without having stopped once, the tiny
plane appeared above San Francisco Bay, headed for New York,
(41:19):
spluttering and choking, to be sure, but still magnificently and
miraculously aloft the headlines which long since had crowded everything
else off the front page. Even the shooting of the
Governor of Illinois by the Valetti Gang swelled to unprecedented size,
and the news stories began to run to twenty five
and thirty columns. It was noticeable, however, that the accounts
(41:45):
of the epoch making flight touched rather lightly upon the
aviator himself. This was not because the facts about the
hero as a man were too meager, but because they
were too complete. Reporters who had been rushed out to
Iowa when smirches Play was first sighted over the little
(42:06):
French coast town of Serlee Lemaire to dig up the
story of the great man's life, had promptly discovered that
the story of his life could not be printed. His mother,
a sullen short order cook, and a shack restaurant on
the edge of a tourists camping ground near Westfield, met
all inquiries as to her son with an angry and
the hell with him a hope he drowns. His father
(42:29):
appeared to be in jail somewhere for stealing spotlights and
lap robes from tourists automobiles. His young brother, a weak
minded lad, had but recently escaped from the Preston, Iowa Reformatory,
and was already wanted in several Western towns for the
theft of money order blanks from post offices. These alarming
(42:49):
discoveries were still piling up at the very time that
pal Smirch, the greatest hero of the twentieth century, blear eyed,
dead for sleep, half starved, was piloting his crazy junk
heap high above the region in which the lamentable story
of his private life was being unearthed, headed for New
York and a greater glory than any man of his
(43:10):
time had ever known. The necessity for printing some account
in the papers of the young man's career and personality
had led to a remarkable predicament. It was, of course,
impossible to reveal the facts for a tremendous popular feeling
in favor of the young hero had sprung up like
(43:31):
a grass fire when he was halfway across Europe on
his flight around the globe. He was therefore described as
a modest, chap taciturn blonde, popular with his friends, popular
with girls. The only available snapshot of Smirch, taken at
the wheel of a phony automobile in a cheap photo
studio at an amusement park, was touched up so that
(43:53):
the little vulgarian looked quite handsome. His twisted leer was
smoothed into a pleasant smile. The truth was in this
way kept from the youth's static compatriots. They did not
dream that the Smirch family was despised and feared by
its neighbors in the obscure Iowa town, nor that the
(44:13):
hero himself, because of numerous unsavory exploits, had come to
be regarded in Westfield as a nuisance and a menace.
Pal's Smirch had, the reporters discovered, once knife the principle
of his high school, not mortally, to be sure, but
he had knifed him, and on another occasion, surprised in
(44:34):
the act of an stealing altar cloth from a church,
he had bashed the sexton over the head with a
pot of Easter lilies. For each of these offenses, he
had served a sentence in the reformatory. Inwardly, the authorities,
both in New York and in Washington, prayed that an
understanding providence might, however awful, such a thing seemed, bring
(44:59):
disaster to the rusty, battered plane and its illustrious pilot,
whose unheard of flight had a rid the civilized world
to hosannas of hysterical praise. The authorities were convinced that
the character of the renowned aviator was such that the
limelight of adulation was bound to reveal him to all
the world as a congenital hooligan, mentally and morally unequipped
(45:23):
to cope with his own prodigious fame. I trust, said
the Secretary of State, at one of the many secret
cabinet meetings called to consider the national dilemma. I trust
that his mother's prayer will be answered, by which he
referred to missus Emma's Smirch's wish that her son might
be drowned. It was, however, too late for that. Smirch
(45:48):
had leaped the Atlantic and then the Pacific as if
they were mill ponds. At three minutes after two o'clock
on the afternoon of July seventeenth, nineteen thirty seven, the
garage boy brought his idiotic plane into Roosevelt Field for
a perfect three point landing. It had, of course been
out of the question to arrange a modest little reception
(46:09):
for the greatest flier in the history of the world.
He was received at Roosevelt Field with such elaborate and
pretentious ceremonies as rocked the world. Fortunately, however, the warren
and spent hero promptly swooned, had to be removed bodily
from his plane, and was spirited from the field without
having opened his mouth once. Thus he did not jeopardize
(46:31):
the dignity of his first reception, a reception illumined by
the presence of the Secretaries of War and the Navy,
Mayor Michael J. Moriarty of New York, the Premier of Canada,
Governors Fanamine Groves, mcpheey and Critchfield, and a brilliant array
of European diplomats. Smirch did not, in fact come too
in time to take part in the gigantic hullabaloo arranged
(46:53):
at city Hall for the next day. He was rushed
to a secluded nursing home and confined in bed. It
was nine days before he was able to get up, or,
to be more exact, before he was permitted to get up. Meanwhile,
the greatest minds in the country in solemn assembly, had
arranged a secret conference of city, state and government officials,
(47:16):
which Smirch was to attend for the purpose of being
instructed in the ethics and behavior of heroism. On the
day that the little mechanic was finally allowed to get
up in dress and for the first time in two weeks,
took a great chew of tomacco, he was permitted to
receive the newspaper men this by way of testing him out.
(47:38):
Smirch did not wait for questions. Use guys, he said,
and the Times man winced. Use guys can tell the
cock eyed world that I put it over on Lindberg.
See yeah, made an assaid, I'm two frogs. The two frogs.
It was a reference to a pair of gallant French flyers, who,
(48:00):
in attempting to flight only halfway round the world, had
two weeks before unhappily been lost at sea. The Times
Man was bold enough at this point to sketch out
for Smirch the accepted formula for interviews in cases of
this kind. He explained that there should be no arrogant
statements belittling the achievements of other heroes, particularly heroes of
(48:21):
foreign nations. Ah, the hell with that, said Smirch. I
did it. See I did it, and I'm talking about it,
and he did talk about it. None of this extraordinary
interview was, of course printed. On the contrary, the newspapers,
already under the discipline direction of a secret directorate created
(48:42):
for the occasion and composed of statesmen and editors, gave
out to a panting and restless world that Jackie, as
he had been arbitrarily nicknamed, would consent to say only
that he was very happy, and that anyone could have
done what he did. My achievement has been I fear
slightly exaggerated. The Times Man's article had him protest with
(49:04):
a mind modest smile. These newspaper stories were kept from
the hero, a restriction which did not serve to abate
the rising malevolence of his temper. The situation was indeed
extremely grave. For Palell. Smirch was as he kept insisting,
raring to go, he could not much longer be kept
(49:26):
from a nation clamorous to lionize him. It was the
most desperate crisis the United States of America had faced
since the sinking of Belusitania. On the afternoon of the
twenty seventh of July, Smirch was spirited away to a
conference room in which were gathered mayors, governors, government officials, behaviorist, psychologists,
(49:47):
and editors. He gave them each a limp moist paw,
and a brief, unlovely grin, hi, he said. When Smirch
was seated, the Mayor of New York arose, and, with
obvious pessimism, attempted to explain what he must say and
how he must act when presented to the world, ending
(50:07):
his talk with a high tribute to the hero's courage
and integrity. The mayor was followed by Governor Fannaman of
New York, who, after a touching declaration of faith, introduced
Cameron Spottiswood, second Secretary of the American Embassy in Paris,
the gentleman selected to coach Smirch in the amenities of
public ceremonies. Sitting in a chair with a soiled yellow
(50:30):
tie in his hand and his shirt open at the throat, unshaved,
smoking a rolled cigarette. Jack Smirch listened with a leer
on his lips. I get you, I get you, He
cut in nastily. You want me to act like a softie. Huh?
You want me to act like that? Memeny, mmany baby face,
(50:51):
lind big huh, Well nuts to that. See. Everyone took
in his breath sharply. It was a sigh and a hiss.
Mister Lindbergh began a United States senator with rage, and
mister bird Smirch, who was paring his nails with a jackknife,
cut in again. Boyd, he exclaimed, Oh, for God's sake,
(51:14):
that big somebody shut off the blasphemies with a sharp word.
A newcomer had entered the word the room. Everyone stood up,
except Smirch, who was still busy with his nails, and
he did not even glance up. Mister Smirch, said someone sternly.
The President of the United States. It had been thought
that the presence of the Chief Executive might have a
(51:35):
chastening effect on the young hero, and the former had
been thanks to the remarkable cooperation of the press secretly
brought to the obscure conference room. A great, painful silence fell.
Smirch looked up, waved a hand at the president. How
(51:56):
you coming, he asked, and began rolling a fresh cigarette.
The silence deepened. Someone coughed in a strained way. Jesuits hot,
ain't it, said Smirch. He loosened two more shirt buttons,
(52:18):
revealing a hairy chest and the tattooed word sadie enclosed
in a stenciled heart. The great and important men in
the room, faced by the most serious crisis in American history,
exchanged worried frowns. Nobody seemed to know how to proceed.
Come on, come on, said Smirch. Let's get the hell
(52:40):
out of here. Why do I start cutting in on
the podies? Eh? And when is there gonna be this
in it? He rubbed a thumb and forefinger together meaningly. Money,
exclaimed a state senator, shocked pale, Yeah money, said pal,
flipping his cigarette out of the window. And big money.
(53:02):
He began rolling a fresh cigarette. Big money, he repeated,
Frowning over the rice paper. He tilted back in his
chair and leered at each gentleman separately. The leer of
an animal that knows its power, the leer of a
leopard loose in a bird and dog shop. Ah, for
(53:23):
God's sake, let's get someplace where it's cool, he said.
I've been cooped up plenty for three weeks. Smirch stood
up and walked over to an open window, where he
stood staring down into the street nine floors below. The
faint shouting of newsboys floated up to him. He made
out his name, hot Dog, he cried, grinning ecstatic. He
(53:47):
leaned out over the sill. You tell um babies, he
shouted down, Hot Diggity Dog. In the tense little knot
of men standing behind him, a quick, mad impulse flared up.
An unspoken word of a peal of manned seemed to
ring through the room, yet it was deadly silent. Charles K.
(54:09):
L Brand, secretary to the Mayor of New York City,
happened to be standing nearest Smirch. He looked inquiringly at
the President of the United States. The President pale grim,
nodded shortly. Brand, a tall, powerfully built man wants to
tackle at Rutgers University, stepped forward, seized the greatest man
in the world by his left shoulder and the seat
(54:31):
of his pants, and pushed him out the window. My god,
he's falling out the window, cried a quick witted editor.
Get me out of here, cried the president. Several men
sprang to his side, and he was hurriedly escorted out
of a door toward a side entrance of the building.
The editor of the Associated Press took charge, Being used
to such things crisply, he ordered certain men to leave,
others to stay. Quickly. He outlined a story which all
(54:53):
the papers were to agree on, sent two men to
the street to handle that end of the tragedy, commanded
a Senator to sob, and two congressmen to go to
pieces nervously. In a word, he skilled fully set the
stage for the gigantic task that was to follow, the
task of breaking to a grief stricken world. The sad
story of the untimely accidental death of its most illustrious
(55:17):
and spectacular figure. The funeral was, as you know, the
most elaborate, the finest, the solemnesst, and the saddest ever
held in the United States of America. The monument in
Arlington Cemetery, with its clean white shaft of marble and
the simple device of a tiny plane carved on its
(55:41):
base is a place for pilgrims in deep reverence to visit.
The nations of the world paid lofty tributes to Little
Jackie Smirch, America's greatest hero. At a given hour, there
were two minutes of silence throughout the nation. Even the
(56:01):
inhabitants of the small, bewildered town of Westfield, Iowa, observed
this touching ceremony. Agents of the Department of Justice sough
to that one of them was especially assigned to stand
grimly in the doorway of a little shack restaurant on
the edge of the tourist's camping ground just outside the town. There,
(56:23):
under his stern scrutiny, Missus Emma Smirch bowed her head
over to Hamburger steaks sizzling on her grill. Bowed her
head and turned away so that the secret serviceman could
not see the twisted, strangely familiar leer on her lips.
(56:57):
The Greatest Man in the World by James Thurber, How
could he have known? I've done all the damage I
can do here. Thank you for listening. Countdown. Musical directors
Brian Ray and John Phillip Chanel arranged, produced, and performed
most of our music. Mister Ray was on the guitars,
the bass in the drums. Mister Chanelle handled orchestration and keyboards.
It was produced by Tko Brothers. Other music, including some
(57:19):
of the Beethoven compositions, arranged and performed by the group
No Horns Allowed. Sports music is the Olderman theme from
ESPN two, written by Mitch Warren Davis, courtesy of ESPN Inc.
Our satirical and pithy musical comments are by Nancy Fauss,
the best baseball stadium organist ever. Our announcer today was
my friend Stevie van Zacht, and everything else was pretty
(57:40):
much my fault. So that's countdown for this the one
hundred and sixtieth day until the twenty twenty four presidential election.
The two and forty first day since convicted fellon Donald
Trump's first attempt to coop against the democratically elected government
of the United States. Use the July eleventh sentencing hearing,
use the mental health system, use presidential immunity if it happens,
(58:04):
use the not regularly given elector objection option to stop
him from doing it again while we still can. The
next scheduled Countdown is Tuesday bulletins as the news warrants
till then, I'm Keith Ulreman. Good morning, good afternoon, good night,
and good luck. Countdown with Keith Oulderman is a production
(58:34):
of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Host
Keith Olbermann
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