October 19, 2022 • 31 mins
EPISODE 57: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
A-Block (1:45) SPECIAL COMMENT: "It is THE commercial: 'You're damn right gas prices are rising again,' Joe Biden or Nancy Pelosi or Barack Obama or somebody says as THE commercial begins. 'Because the bone-cutting Saudis and the genocidal Russians and their Republican prostitutes here are raising your gas prices, deliberately.' THE commercial then runs through the rest of the Republican platform for the midterms." (4:27) But even as Kevin McCarthy goes on the record threatening another Debt Ceiling Crisis as a lever to cut Social Security and Medicare, THE commercial doesn't exist. (6:32) There could be a dozen versions of THE commercial - the one where the FBI perp-walks the child pornographer only to have Marjorie Trailer Park Greene swoop in and defund the Bureau and free the suspect. Or the one with Trump, on tape, handing Woodward the Kim Jong Un letters and saying "Oh, those are so top secret. Don't say I gave them to you!" (8:11) But with 20 days left until the midterms we are still hung up on safe arguments and with being better than the fascists. We have 20 days! Where is the urgency? Where is THE COMMERCIAL?
B-Block (15:11) EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY: Hitchcock, in Georgia. (16:02) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: Marco Rubio's argument against Drop Boxes: They could blow up! And speaking of blowing up, there's John Durham (18:10) IN SPORTS: Amazon buys an NFL game for Black Friday, and did the Jerry Jones-Bob Kraft swearfest have a...happy ending? (20:22) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Tudor Dixon vows to stop "Critical Race Training" in Michigan, and competes with an Idaho lobbyist who compares drag shows to blackface, and the Fox News dingbat who says nobody who hasn't had a child can talk about abortion, for the honors.
C-Block (24:45) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: It's 38 years since I left Channel 5 in Boston, and had to say farewell to the man who gave me one of the best pieces of advice I ever received. As a hundred fans appeared out of nowhere to cheer him, I asked anchorman Chet Curtis "how do you get USED to this?" His priceless advice: "DON'T."
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of I Heart Radio.
It is the commercial Your damn right gas prices are
(00:28):
rising again, Joe Biden, or Nancy Pelosi or Barack Obama
or somebody says, as the commercial begins, because the bone
cutting Saudis and the genocidal Russians and the Republican prostitutes
here are raising your gas prices deliberately. The commercial then
runs through the rest of the Republican platform for the
(00:49):
mid terms, cutting social security and medicare, sun setting the
rest of the safety net, banning abortion, banning gay marriage,
banning transgender treatment, ending any further COVID treatments, keeping drug
prices high, keeping gas prices high, selling out Ukraine, helping
Putent take over Eastern Europe, eliminating free elections here, ending
(01:11):
the peaceful transfer of power, deporting all of the foreigners,
deputizing white supremacist militias, increasing anti semitism, rewarding insurrectionists, impeaching Biden,
impeaching Mayorcas, impeaching b Lincoln, defunding the FBI, defunding the
National Archives, defaulting on our national debts, stealing classified documents,
(01:33):
increasing access to guns, increasing school shootings, increasing thoughts and prayers.
They are selling the destruction of twenty one century America
to Americans, and new polling says they are winning because
gas prices are rising again, and they are winning because
(01:54):
nobody on the Democratic side has yet put out the commercial.
The House Republicans Study Committee plans to raise the age
of eligibility for Social Security to seventy and plans to
raise the age of eligibility for Medicare to sixty seven
and to phase in means testing. Where is the commercial
(02:16):
showing its chairman Jim Banks pushing an old woman in
a wheelchair down a flight of stairs. Rick Scott's Rescue
America plan calls for a new vote on all federal
legislation every five years. That's the rest of the safety
net up for grabs every five years. Where's the commercial
showing Rick Scott imploding an unemployment insurance office or burning
(02:39):
food snaps or cutting off school aid. Five years isn't
often enough for Ron Johnson. He wants Social Security and
Medicare to be reduced to programs that are approved every
year with annual budgets that can be cut. However, Republicans
see fit. Where is the commercial showing Ron Johnson taking
money out of the hands of people in retirement homes
(03:02):
and giving it to Elon must Kevin McCarthy now says
on the record, yes, he will foment another debt ceiling crisis.
He will threaten to plunge this country and the world
into financial apocalypse. He has the goal to say, you
can't just continue down the path to keep spending and
adding to the debt, even though that's exactly what the
(03:23):
Republicans did under Trump and raise the debt by seven
trillion dollars. Where is the commercial showing McCarthy pulling food
out of a child's hands while bankers foreclose on the
family home and McCarthy yesterday confirmed what we already knew.
Putin is just holding on in Ukraine until the mid terms. Quote,
(03:45):
Ukraine is important, but at the same time, it can't
be the only thing they do, and it can't be
a blank check. Where is the commercial showing Putin using
tactical nukes in Poland or standing in front of the
Eiffel Tower shaking hands with McCarthy and Trump. McCarthy yesterday
(04:06):
said he is opposed to any requests for new COVID funding.
Where is the commercial showing him with newspapers dated with
headlines about the resistant new COVID strain and McCarthy pulling
oxygen tubes out of patients noses and mouths. Ron Johnson said, quote,
there's a larger story to be told about January six.
(04:27):
They're not asking what did Nancy Pelosi know and when
did she know it? Where is the commercial showing Johnson
on his fourth of July trip to Moscow shaking Putin's
hand and hitting a Capitol policeman over the head with
a riot shield. After months of nodding along as the
other fascists said leave it up to the states, Lindsay
(04:48):
Graham said he will introduce national laws to make abortions
illegal after fifteen weeks. Where is the commercial showing a
back alley abortionist with bloody coat hangers in his hands,
and as he pulls off his masks, the lighting floods
his face and the abortion nous turns out to be
Lindsay freaking Graham. Marjorie Trailer Park Green and Lauren Bobert
(05:14):
and a dozen others are calling to defund the FBI,
and JR. Madjuski also wants to defund the c I
A where is the commercial showing the FBI purp walking
a child pornographer, and then Green and Bobert and Madjusky
swoop in to free the pedophile Ron de Santis and
too many more of these scumb to count pledged to
(05:37):
eliminate any remaining investigations of Trump's nuclear document Kleptomania and
the risk Trump poses to national security. Where is the
commercial showing Trump handing the fan mail that Kim Jong
un sent him to Bob Woodward and saying, oh, those
are so top secret, don't say I gave them to you. Okay?
(05:59):
How many more of these commercials have not been made?
Eve Bannon and a bunch of proud boys beating up
poll workers thirty seconds that's just Kanye West spewing anti Semitism,
ending with him telling Tucker Carlson, I like Trump and
I love this guy Trump marching back into the White
House surrounded by the Charlottesville Nazis. A policeman asking somebody
(06:22):
their religion, and when the guy says agnostic, the cop
pushes them out of the line, and the line turns
out to have been the one in which you wait
to vote. Any of the great voice mimics of our
time reading out Trump's post over the weekend, threatening American
Jews that they have to get their act together before
it's too late. Where is the commercial I get it.
(06:49):
We believe we are better than them, or if we
are not actually better than them, we at least can
never be as bad as them. We actually believe in diversity,
even diversity of opinions. We cannot make the notion it
is in our bones that the Trump cultists are not
(07:10):
lost beyond redemption, but just deeply confused Americans, and we
might yet shame them, or save them, or rescue them somehow.
We do not want to make new Willie Horton ads,
and we do not want to make the new Roger
Ales who makes Willie Horton ads. We don't want a
(07:31):
network like Fox News or news Max or o A.
And even if the only thing it steals from them
is the ferocity of the punch is thrown, and even
if it did stick to the truth twenty four hours
a day, we are better than they are. But the
wolf is at the door here. The Republicans worked with
(07:53):
the Russians to tilt in ways we may never fully understand.
The Republicans are working now with the Saudis to Hilo.
They have jumped the ethical shark and have now rationalized
anything anything by lying to themselves and lying to their cultists,
(08:17):
so long that they truly believe Democrats are satanic, literally satanic,
and so anything Republicans do is justifiable, as justifiable as
the Union crushing the Confederacy in the Civil War. To them,
it's Abraham Lincoln vampire killer. Any time is the right
(08:40):
time for principles, But this is also the time for
the principle that American democracy, American freedom, American representative government,
the safety of every minority in this country, literally, the
freedom of Europe and the rest of the world from
Putin's aggression, and the freedom from Republican appeasement of Putin,
(09:03):
and the environmental future of the planet are all about
to be lost in the midterms. In twenty days. We
have twenty days until the gravity gets turned off and
the bastards who nearly stole democracy right out from under
us on January six and have spent the time since
(09:23):
fine tuning their treason until they gain control of us,
gain control of our families, gained control of our children,
gain control of our neighbors, gain control of the world
and do whatever the hell they want to it. Where
(09:45):
are the commercials? Where is the urgency? Where is the fervor?
Where is the anger? Where is the sense of life
or death? Where is this symbolism, the metaphor, the equivalence
(10:08):
to the greatest words said by a Democratic leader in decades?
Where is the commercial that conveys the spirit of I
want to punch him out. I've been waiting for this.
I'm gonna punch him out and I'm going to be happy.
(10:43):
Still ahead, uncountdown. Marco Rubio opposes ballant drop boxes because
what if they blow up? The Fox nudes woman who
says Stacy Abrahams is not qualified to talk about abortion
because she's never had a child. She says this as
she sits next to one co host guy who's never
had a child. Another co host guy has never had
(11:05):
a child, and they all interviewed the Georgia governor, who's
a guy who's never had a child. Worse persons coming up?
Sports exactly what we need an NFL game on Black Friday.
And maybe the best advice I ever got came from
somebody I worked with for just five months and twenty
days and that ended thirty eight years ago. Today the
story of chet Curtis the mandarin of Boston TV news
(11:29):
and the phrase don't get used to it. That's next,
this discountdown. This is Countdown with Keith Olberman still ahead
(11:52):
on Countdown. Apparently the elections in Florida we're more explosive
than ever we knew. At the only Senate debate there,
Marco Rubio performed a public service by warning us of
all those ballot drop boxes there that keep blowing up.
Bloat up, real good, blow them up, real good. I'm
(12:13):
Billy Sulhirok. And in sports, one NFL owner warns another,
don't have with me first. In each edition of Countdown,
we feature dog in need who you can help. Every
dog has its day. We go to the state of
Georgia and Hitchcock. Hitchcock is a handsome little schnauser hit
by a car found by a roadside in critical condition
(12:34):
with what maybe temporary paralysis. His site is also at risk,
but they think with quality care he could be good.
Hounds and Pounds of New Jersey is fundraising for Hitchcock.
If you'd like to donate to help him, try their
site or Hitchcock will be the pinned tweet at my
account for Dogs in Need on Twitter that Tom Jumbo
Grumbo and retweeting his story will also help him, and
(12:56):
I thank you very much for doing so. Postscripts to
the news, some headlines, some inside, some snark. Dateline, lake
Worth Beach, Florida. A surprise from the first and only
(13:19):
Florida senatorial debate when Senator Marco Rubio posited to opponent
bl Demmings previously unused rationale against ballot drop boxes. There's
danger involved in drop boxes. People need to think about it. Okay.
Imagine if someone decides, so, there's a dropbox, I'm just
gonna put some explosive in it and blow it up
and burn all of those ballots, and now those votes
don't count at all. Okay, there's there's something with elections.
(13:41):
There are two things that are very important. Number One
that you may laugh, but six out of every seven
people in Florida are carrying explosives. Okay, imagine someone decides, oh,
there's a Marco Rubio, I'm just gonna put some explosive
in it. He really is the dumbest person in the country.
Dateline Alexandria, Virginia. Well maybe except for John Durham. In
(14:03):
the last thirteen months, the Wall Street Journal editorial page
has run these headlines about the Special Council who was
supposed to I don't know obtain three consecutive death sentences
for Hillary Clinton for the Trump Russia conspiracy investigation. Quote
Durham shows how the FBI lets its informants mislead it.
(14:24):
Quote Durham delivers on Russia Gate. Quote Durham's FBI indictment,
and quote Durham cracks the Rusher case. Yesterday, a jury
acquitted the analyst Igor dan Chenko on all four charges
in connection to the Steel dossier. So John Durham's final
score two defendants, seven charges, six acquittals, a plea bargain
(14:47):
on the seventh, and the defendant got as a result
of the plea bargain probation. Nice works, Sparky, This is
(15:09):
Sports Center. Wait, check that not anymore. This is Countdown
with Keith in sports just what we need. Part of
Amazons streaming deal for NFL telecasts for the two thousand
twenty three season will include a new game on the
(15:29):
day after Thanksgiving, which is Friday. In fact, it's Shopping's
Black Friday. Obviously this will get Amazon plenty of publicity,
but wouldn't a midday NFL game on Black Friday reduce
shopping at Amazon? And first we had the story that
Washington Commanders owner Dan Snyder has not been tossed out
(15:51):
of the league because he has dirt on a bunch
of other owners, like Jerry Jones of the Dallas Cowboys.
Now ESPN is reporting that the league's thirty two owners
have voted to permit their compensation committee to begin negotiations
with Commissioner Roger Goodell on a new contract. The final
vote was thirty one two Jerry Jones. The head poke
was the Loane No but even better. As the vote neared,
(16:14):
New England Patriots boss Robert Kraft went up to Jones
and said, quoting ESPN source, don't f with me. Jones answered,
excuse me, Craft rephrased it, don't mess with me. Apparently
that was the end of the confrontation and the brief
meeting involving Craft at least had a happy ending think
(16:56):
about it. Coming up the day, I witnessed fame for
the first time firsthand. Within a minute of Check Curtis's
appearance on the deserted streets of Holiday Boston, there formed
a crowd of somewhere between fifty and a hundred people.
Where they came from. I have no idea to this day.
If you told me they had emerged from the sewers,
(17:17):
I would have believed you his advice about what to
do with that kind of concentrated fame. Coming up first,
the daily roundup of the miscrants, morons, and dunning Krueger
effect specimens who constitute today's worse persons in the world.
Le bronze to Blaine Kanzatti. Blaine Kanzati, the president of
the Idaho Family Policy Council, You may have heard that
(17:40):
Idaho will be the first U. S state across the
finish line into full theocratic fascism. Mr Kanzatti will be
near the front of the line. Has announced that in January,
the Idaho Legislature will take up a bill that would
man quote drag performances in public venues. And it gets worse.
Mr Kanzati insists that drag is comparable to anybody blackface.
(18:04):
I'm waiting for the silver lining here, which is when
all the drag performers reveal the names of all the
members of the Idaho Legislature. They know the runner up.
Tutor Dixon super genius. She is the only two thousand
twenty two fascist gubernatorial candidates who portrayed Sheila Wolf in
the two thousand nine film Buddy Bebop Versus The Living Dead.
(18:29):
Tutor Dixon is the one who promised to end trans
women playing men's sports in Michigan high school and college outfits.
And then somebody asked for one example of it happening,
and she couldn't think of one. Wow, she's done it again.
She was asked now about how to stop the next
school shooting before it happened, and her answer was, quote,
instead of doing all this critical race training, how about
(18:53):
we have training on spotting the emergency before it happens. Firstly,
it's critical race theory, Buddy Bebop lady. Secondly, critical race
theory is taught in guess how many Michigan schools. That's right, None, idiot,
(19:13):
but our winner. Rachel Campos Duffy of Fox Nudes. She's
the one who once told her audience that the US
had caused Russia to invade Ukraine. Well, now she's topped herself.
Campos Duffy has decreed that the Democratic candidate for governor
Georgia Stacy Abrams is not qualified to talk about abortions
because she has never had a child. A flash of
(19:35):
discomfort seemed to form across the faces of her co
host Steve Doocey and her other co host, Brian Kilmeade
and their guests Brian Kemp and inside you just knew
they were all wondering who was going to tell Rachel
that men talk about abortions all the time. In fact,
men were talking about abortions at that very moment, even
(19:58):
though men have never had a child either, foxes Rachel
after nine kids, you would have thought she'd know that
camp post Duffy two Day's worst personage in the World,
(20:28):
number one story on the Countdown in my favorite topic,
Me and forty years ago today, my epic career as
a local Boston sportscaster ended. I did not last long there.
The station got mad at me for making jokes during
the sportscast, which raised the question why did they hire
a guy known for making jokes during the sportscast? So
I left ten days shy of six months. Last day,
(20:52):
right after I got back from covering the World Series,
sitting next to another young Boston TV Sports reporter named
Carl Scrimsky, and the last day was Friday, October four.
It was short, but it was not sweet. But I
did meet some extraordinary people, and I learned one extraordinary
lesson that applies to a lot more of life than
(21:13):
might be suggested at first plush. On the night of Friday,
July six, Chet Curtis, who with his wife Natalie Jacobson,
were the mandarins of Boston Television News, asked me if
I wanted to go with him to dinner after our
six pm newscast. The following Monday, I would move from
sports reporter and fill in at the sports desk to
(21:34):
anchoring the sports report every night on r eleven PM newscast.
The year before, our station, Channel five, had interviewed me
for the job of sports director, but I made a
terrible mistake. In the interview with the general manager, Jim
copper Smith. I mentioned to him that we had met
before when he was general manager of Channel five in
New York and I was an intern in their newsroom.
(21:56):
This peaked copper Smith's curiosity since it had happened only
five years later. That's when he found out I was
not twenty eight years old, as his news director had
told him, but I was only twenty four. So instead
he hired this guy from Florida named Lee Webb. And
all you really need to know about Lee was that
after he left the station, he became the quote newscast
your unquote on the Pat Robertson TV network, and he
(22:19):
started talking about what the Bible said about Ronald Reagan.
And he often used the phrases Republicans and Democrats and
fire and brimstone in the same sentence. So a year
later they had decided Webb was too dull and I
was the coming thing, and they were splitting the sportscasting
job in half. Lee would stay on the six and
(22:40):
I would do the eleven. And Chad Curtis, who had
been on Boston TV since, wanted to give me an
idea of what was coming for me. So he said,
Let's go to Anthony's Pier four. Kind of touristy fish place,
but beautiful and great food, but I have to stop
on my way to get a quick SoundBite for the eleven.
Sure enough, Chet drove to a downtown office building, spied
(23:01):
the Channel five cameraman waiting for us on the sidewalk,
parked and hopped out. Now, on any summer's Friday night,
then end. Now Boston's downtown is deserted. But this was
a Friday night, two days after July four. It was
so empty you could hear the stoplights change from red
to green. Yet within a minute of check Curtis's appearance,
(23:23):
there formed a crowd of somewhere between fifty and a
hundred people. Where they came from. I have no idea
to this day. If you told me they had emerged
from the sewers, I would have and would believe you.
Without being asked. They formed a neat semi circle out
of the range of the camera. Whoever the guy was
(23:44):
that Chet was supposed to interview, answered his questions quickly.
The cameraman repositioned himself to get the obligatory. Chet listens
intently and intelligently cutaway shots. Then he said, Okay, we're done,
and the semicircle of civilians burst into applause. A few
came over for autographs and pictures. One said to me, yeah,
(24:04):
the new WUTS guy, I like you. Then they all
left as stealthily as they appeared. We got back into
Chet's truck. I was laughing nervously how how how do
you get used to that? I mean, when I've gone
to the ballpark, I get a few hello's and one
or two autograph requests. But does this happen all the time?
(24:26):
And how do you get used to it? Chat had
a wonderful laugh. It does not happen all the time.
It'll happen a lot more to you once you start
on the eleven. But don't get used to it. That's
one of the reasons I want to have dinner with you.
And the place we're going is where I learned the
lesson I wanted to offer to you. So we go
to Anthony's. The valet was saying good to see you,
(24:47):
Mr Curtis. Before Chet was fully out of the truck,
his boss appeared, but evening Chat people dining outside on
the pier stared. Several waved the major d beat us
to the front door and held it open for us,
and this is your new sportscaster, Welcome to Anthony's. Chet
was more than gracious. He managed to simultaneously conveyed deep appreciation,
(25:09):
low key surprise at all the attention, and the sense
that nobody was bothering him in the slightest As we
entered the dining room, there was polite applause. Chet waved
almost but not quite sheepishly. We were seated at the
best table at the best angle to see the harbor.
The reserved sign the manager of Anthony's removed was comically large.
(25:33):
After the drinks arrived, Chent began to preach. Unless you're
an athlete, nobody, he said, gets loved on as much
in this city as people on TV, especially people on
Channel five. Now it's a little quieter than usual because
of the holiday, But when they first put me on
the eleven o'clock news eight years ago next to my
beautiful bride, if I came in here, there would be
(25:53):
people standing and applauding. Natalie doesn't really like that stuff,
so she sends not to go with me to the
big restaurants. But me, I'm just Chester from Amsterdam, New York,
and I worked damn hard to get here, and I
loved it. I loved every second of it. If there
was an opportunity to come here before the late newscast
or after it, or on the weekends, I was here.
(26:13):
I said, I loved the fish. I really loved the applause.
He laughed again. I mean we're still number one, but
maybe five years ago we had higher ratings than the
other two stations combined. There were months at a time
when I didn't pay for a drink here, not one,
and I came to depend upon that. And that's what
(26:35):
I wanted to tell you. Don't don't get used to it,
don't expect it, don't fail to be surprised by it,
or at least don't fail if fake being surprised by it.
Because one day it happened. It happened right here, and
I thought my career was over at the age of
I know this will surprise you. I did not listen
(26:56):
to a lot of advice, but Jet Curtis was bearing
his soul here, and I felt a mixture of terror
and rapt anticipation about what had happen to him. I
think this was fairly early on, he said, mid seventies.
And I drove up, just like we did just now,
and I straightened my tie and it brushed my hair
and made myself ready for my adoring public. I'm ready
(27:18):
for my close up, Mr de Mill. And I opened
that door, and I went to that major d stand
and I smiled, and there was a guy there. I
had never seen before, and he said, can I help you?
And I smiled and looked to that bar where Danny
always is, see him right now. No, Danny, the bartender
that day didn't even look back at me. So, just
as the sense of anxiety began to creep up on me,
(27:40):
I said, rather defensively, I'm ched Curtis. And the Major
D looked at me with annoyance and said, you have
a reservation. And I thought a reservation. I have an
adoring public. I said, well no, but usually Tony holds
a table for me and says, I don't have to
call in advance, and the Major D says, well, I'm sorry,
we're full without a reservation the way it will be
(28:01):
ninety minutes. And now I am sweating, and then there's
a tap on my shoulder, Chat says, and I think,
thank god, it's a fan of News Center five, And
instead it's somebody who just says, excuse me, fellow, can
we get through Jones party of two? And now I'm
standing there and I look around the bar, and I
look around the dining room and nobody recognizes me. Not
(28:24):
a waitress, not a customer, nobody. And it starts in
my head chat, I say to myself, what have you done?
What did you say on the air? Nobody knows you
at Anthony's, nobody wants to know you. Your career is over?
What did you do? And now, Keith, I am beginning
to feel faint and panicky, and I run out the
(28:46):
door to get back in my car, and I drive
away as fast as possible, all the while thinking what
did you do to end your career? And just as
I get to my car, another car drives out, and
outsteps in shorts and a T shirt, Anthony himself, Anthony
of Anthony's Restaurant, the founder, the owner, and he says, Chat,
what the hell's wrong with you? Your pale is a ghost?
(29:08):
And I stammer about my career ending and nobody inside
recognizing me anymore. And and here Chet Curtis burst into laughter.
I'm almost in tears, telling him that the major d
said I'd have to wait ninety minutes because I didn't
have a reservation. And now Anthony laughs and he says,
of course nobody recognizes you. The whole staff is at
our summer picnic. I only came in now to give
(29:30):
them a chance to talk about me behind my back.
Those guys in there are all per diems, freelancers. Everybody
you know is that Nantasket Beach getting drunk. Chent finally
stopped his own laughter, sipped from his beer, and very
dramatically said, so, how do you get used to being recognized?
(29:52):
Do not get used to being recognized, because one day
everybody you expect is going to recognize you will be
out at a picnic at Nantasket Beach getting drunk that
you don't know about, and all you will be a
bolt to figure out is that your career is over
and you should go home and jump off your roof.
So this is my advice to you as you start
the eleven o'clock news in Boston. Never get used to it.
(30:30):
I've done all the damage I can do here. Help
me out. Subscribe to this podcast Acosta random passers by
or passers by, or give it five stars or whatever
you do. Most of the music, including our theme from
Beethoven's Ninth, was arranged, produced and performed by Brian Ray
and John Philip Channel. They are the Countdown musical directors.
All orchestration and keyboards by John Philip Channel, guitars, bass
(30:53):
and drums by Brian Ray. Produced by t k O Brothers.
Other Beethoven selections have been arranged and performed by No
Horns allowed. The sports music is the Olberman theme from
ESPN two and it was written by H. Warren Davis
courtesy of ESPN Inc. Musical comments from Nancy Faust the
best baseball stadium organist of all time. Our announced today
(31:13):
was John Dene and everything else is pretty much my fault.
So that's countdown for this second day since Donald Trump's
first attempted coop against the democratically elected government of the
United States. Arrest him now while we still can. There
will be a new episode tomorrow. Until then on Keith Alderman.
Good Morning, good afternoon, goodnight, and good luck. Countdown with
(31:41):
Keith Alderman is a production of I heart Radio. For
more podcasts from i heart Radio, visit the i heart
Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of I Heart Radio.
It is the commercial Your damn right gas prices are
(00:28):
rising again, Joe Biden, or Nancy Pelosi or Barack Obama
or somebody says, as the commercial begins, because the bone
cutting Saudis and the genocidal Russians and the Republican prostitutes
here are raising your gas prices deliberately. The commercial then
runs through the rest of the Republican platform for the
(00:49):
mid terms, cutting social security and medicare, sun setting the
rest of the safety net, banning abortion, banning gay marriage,
banning transgender treatment, ending any further COVID treatments, keeping drug
prices high, keeping gas prices high, selling out Ukraine, helping
Putent take over Eastern Europe, eliminating free elections here, ending
(01:11):
the peaceful transfer of power, deporting all of the foreigners,
deputizing white supremacist militias, increasing anti semitism, rewarding insurrectionists, impeaching Biden,
impeaching Mayorcas, impeaching b Lincoln, defunding the FBI, defunding the
National Archives, defaulting on our national debts, stealing classified documents,
(01:33):
increasing access to guns, increasing school shootings, increasing thoughts and prayers.
They are selling the destruction of twenty one century America
to Americans, and new polling says they are winning because
gas prices are rising again, and they are winning because
(01:54):
nobody on the Democratic side has yet put out the commercial.
The House Republicans Study Committee plans to raise the age
of eligibility for Social Security to seventy and plans to
raise the age of eligibility for Medicare to sixty seven
and to phase in means testing. Where is the commercial
(02:16):
showing its chairman Jim Banks pushing an old woman in
a wheelchair down a flight of stairs. Rick Scott's Rescue
America plan calls for a new vote on all federal
legislation every five years. That's the rest of the safety
net up for grabs every five years. Where's the commercial
showing Rick Scott imploding an unemployment insurance office or burning
(02:39):
food snaps or cutting off school aid. Five years isn't
often enough for Ron Johnson. He wants Social Security and
Medicare to be reduced to programs that are approved every
year with annual budgets that can be cut. However, Republicans
see fit. Where is the commercial showing Ron Johnson taking
money out of the hands of people in retirement homes
(03:02):
and giving it to Elon must Kevin McCarthy now says
on the record, yes, he will foment another debt ceiling crisis.
He will threaten to plunge this country and the world
into financial apocalypse. He has the goal to say, you
can't just continue down the path to keep spending and
adding to the debt, even though that's exactly what the
(03:23):
Republicans did under Trump and raise the debt by seven
trillion dollars. Where is the commercial showing McCarthy pulling food
out of a child's hands while bankers foreclose on the
family home and McCarthy yesterday confirmed what we already knew.
Putin is just holding on in Ukraine until the mid terms. Quote,
(03:45):
Ukraine is important, but at the same time, it can't
be the only thing they do, and it can't be
a blank check. Where is the commercial showing Putin using
tactical nukes in Poland or standing in front of the
Eiffel Tower shaking hands with McCarthy and Trump. McCarthy yesterday
(04:06):
said he is opposed to any requests for new COVID funding.
Where is the commercial showing him with newspapers dated with
headlines about the resistant new COVID strain and McCarthy pulling
oxygen tubes out of patients noses and mouths. Ron Johnson said, quote,
there's a larger story to be told about January six.
(04:27):
They're not asking what did Nancy Pelosi know and when
did she know it? Where is the commercial showing Johnson
on his fourth of July trip to Moscow shaking Putin's
hand and hitting a Capitol policeman over the head with
a riot shield. After months of nodding along as the
other fascists said leave it up to the states, Lindsay
(04:48):
Graham said he will introduce national laws to make abortions
illegal after fifteen weeks. Where is the commercial showing a
back alley abortionist with bloody coat hangers in his hands,
and as he pulls off his masks, the lighting floods
his face and the abortion nous turns out to be
Lindsay freaking Graham. Marjorie Trailer Park Green and Lauren Bobert
(05:14):
and a dozen others are calling to defund the FBI,
and JR. Madjuski also wants to defund the c I
A where is the commercial showing the FBI purp walking
a child pornographer, and then Green and Bobert and Madjusky
swoop in to free the pedophile Ron de Santis and
too many more of these scumb to count pledged to
(05:37):
eliminate any remaining investigations of Trump's nuclear document Kleptomania and
the risk Trump poses to national security. Where is the
commercial showing Trump handing the fan mail that Kim Jong
un sent him to Bob Woodward and saying, oh, those
are so top secret, don't say I gave them to you. Okay?
(05:59):
How many more of these commercials have not been made?
Eve Bannon and a bunch of proud boys beating up
poll workers thirty seconds that's just Kanye West spewing anti Semitism,
ending with him telling Tucker Carlson, I like Trump and
I love this guy Trump marching back into the White
House surrounded by the Charlottesville Nazis. A policeman asking somebody
(06:22):
their religion, and when the guy says agnostic, the cop
pushes them out of the line, and the line turns
out to have been the one in which you wait
to vote. Any of the great voice mimics of our
time reading out Trump's post over the weekend, threatening American
Jews that they have to get their act together before
it's too late. Where is the commercial I get it.
(06:49):
We believe we are better than them, or if we
are not actually better than them, we at least can
never be as bad as them. We actually believe in diversity,
even diversity of opinions. We cannot make the notion it
is in our bones that the Trump cultists are not
(07:10):
lost beyond redemption, but just deeply confused Americans, and we
might yet shame them, or save them, or rescue them somehow.
We do not want to make new Willie Horton ads,
and we do not want to make the new Roger
Ales who makes Willie Horton ads. We don't want a
(07:31):
network like Fox News or news Max or o A.
And even if the only thing it steals from them
is the ferocity of the punch is thrown, and even
if it did stick to the truth twenty four hours
a day, we are better than they are. But the
wolf is at the door here. The Republicans worked with
(07:53):
the Russians to tilt in ways we may never fully understand.
The Republicans are working now with the Saudis to Hilo.
They have jumped the ethical shark and have now rationalized
anything anything by lying to themselves and lying to their cultists,
(08:17):
so long that they truly believe Democrats are satanic, literally satanic,
and so anything Republicans do is justifiable, as justifiable as
the Union crushing the Confederacy in the Civil War. To them,
it's Abraham Lincoln vampire killer. Any time is the right
(08:40):
time for principles, But this is also the time for
the principle that American democracy, American freedom, American representative government,
the safety of every minority in this country, literally, the
freedom of Europe and the rest of the world from
Putin's aggression, and the freedom from Republican appeasement of Putin,
(09:03):
and the environmental future of the planet are all about
to be lost in the midterms. In twenty days. We
have twenty days until the gravity gets turned off and
the bastards who nearly stole democracy right out from under
us on January six and have spent the time since
(09:23):
fine tuning their treason until they gain control of us,
gain control of our families, gained control of our children,
gain control of our neighbors, gain control of the world
and do whatever the hell they want to it. Where
(09:45):
are the commercials? Where is the urgency? Where is the fervor?
Where is the anger? Where is the sense of life
or death? Where is this symbolism, the metaphor, the equivalence
(10:08):
to the greatest words said by a Democratic leader in decades?
Where is the commercial that conveys the spirit of I
want to punch him out. I've been waiting for this.
I'm gonna punch him out and I'm going to be happy.
(10:43):
Still ahead, uncountdown. Marco Rubio opposes ballant drop boxes because
what if they blow up? The Fox nudes woman who
says Stacy Abrahams is not qualified to talk about abortion
because she's never had a child. She says this as
she sits next to one co host guy who's never
had a child. Another co host guy has never had
(11:05):
a child, and they all interviewed the Georgia governor, who's
a guy who's never had a child. Worse persons coming up?
Sports exactly what we need an NFL game on Black Friday.
And maybe the best advice I ever got came from
somebody I worked with for just five months and twenty
days and that ended thirty eight years ago. Today the
story of chet Curtis the mandarin of Boston TV news
(11:29):
and the phrase don't get used to it. That's next,
this discountdown. This is Countdown with Keith Olberman still ahead
(11:52):
on Countdown. Apparently the elections in Florida we're more explosive
than ever we knew. At the only Senate debate there,
Marco Rubio performed a public service by warning us of
all those ballot drop boxes there that keep blowing up.
Bloat up, real good, blow them up, real good. I'm
(12:13):
Billy Sulhirok. And in sports, one NFL owner warns another,
don't have with me first. In each edition of Countdown,
we feature dog in need who you can help. Every
dog has its day. We go to the state of
Georgia and Hitchcock. Hitchcock is a handsome little schnauser hit
by a car found by a roadside in critical condition
(12:34):
with what maybe temporary paralysis. His site is also at risk,
but they think with quality care he could be good.
Hounds and Pounds of New Jersey is fundraising for Hitchcock.
If you'd like to donate to help him, try their
site or Hitchcock will be the pinned tweet at my
account for Dogs in Need on Twitter that Tom Jumbo
Grumbo and retweeting his story will also help him, and
(12:56):
I thank you very much for doing so. Postscripts to
the news, some headlines, some inside, some snark. Dateline, lake
Worth Beach, Florida. A surprise from the first and only
(13:19):
Florida senatorial debate when Senator Marco Rubio posited to opponent
bl Demmings previously unused rationale against ballot drop boxes. There's
danger involved in drop boxes. People need to think about it. Okay.
Imagine if someone decides, so, there's a dropbox, I'm just
gonna put some explosive in it and blow it up
and burn all of those ballots, and now those votes
don't count at all. Okay, there's there's something with elections.
(13:41):
There are two things that are very important. Number One
that you may laugh, but six out of every seven
people in Florida are carrying explosives. Okay, imagine someone decides, oh,
there's a Marco Rubio, I'm just gonna put some explosive
in it. He really is the dumbest person in the country.
Dateline Alexandria, Virginia. Well maybe except for John Durham. In
(14:03):
the last thirteen months, the Wall Street Journal editorial page
has run these headlines about the Special Council who was
supposed to I don't know obtain three consecutive death sentences
for Hillary Clinton for the Trump Russia conspiracy investigation. Quote
Durham shows how the FBI lets its informants mislead it.
(14:24):
Quote Durham delivers on Russia Gate. Quote Durham's FBI indictment,
and quote Durham cracks the Rusher case. Yesterday, a jury
acquitted the analyst Igor dan Chenko on all four charges
in connection to the Steel dossier. So John Durham's final
score two defendants, seven charges, six acquittals, a plea bargain
(14:47):
on the seventh, and the defendant got as a result
of the plea bargain probation. Nice works, Sparky, This is
(15:09):
Sports Center. Wait, check that not anymore. This is Countdown
with Keith in sports just what we need. Part of
Amazons streaming deal for NFL telecasts for the two thousand
twenty three season will include a new game on the
(15:29):
day after Thanksgiving, which is Friday. In fact, it's Shopping's
Black Friday. Obviously this will get Amazon plenty of publicity,
but wouldn't a midday NFL game on Black Friday reduce
shopping at Amazon? And first we had the story that
Washington Commanders owner Dan Snyder has not been tossed out
(15:51):
of the league because he has dirt on a bunch
of other owners, like Jerry Jones of the Dallas Cowboys.
Now ESPN is reporting that the league's thirty two owners
have voted to permit their compensation committee to begin negotiations
with Commissioner Roger Goodell on a new contract. The final
vote was thirty one two Jerry Jones. The head poke
was the Loane No but even better. As the vote neared,
(16:14):
New England Patriots boss Robert Kraft went up to Jones
and said, quoting ESPN source, don't f with me. Jones answered,
excuse me, Craft rephrased it, don't mess with me. Apparently
that was the end of the confrontation and the brief
meeting involving Craft at least had a happy ending think
(16:56):
about it. Coming up the day, I witnessed fame for
the first time firsthand. Within a minute of Check Curtis's
appearance on the deserted streets of Holiday Boston, there formed
a crowd of somewhere between fifty and a hundred people.
Where they came from. I have no idea to this day.
If you told me they had emerged from the sewers,
(17:17):
I would have believed you his advice about what to
do with that kind of concentrated fame. Coming up first,
the daily roundup of the miscrants, morons, and dunning Krueger
effect specimens who constitute today's worse persons in the world.
Le bronze to Blaine Kanzatti. Blaine Kanzati, the president of
the Idaho Family Policy Council, You may have heard that
(17:40):
Idaho will be the first U. S state across the
finish line into full theocratic fascism. Mr Kanzatti will be
near the front of the line. Has announced that in January,
the Idaho Legislature will take up a bill that would
man quote drag performances in public venues. And it gets worse.
Mr Kanzati insists that drag is comparable to anybody blackface.
(18:04):
I'm waiting for the silver lining here, which is when
all the drag performers reveal the names of all the
members of the Idaho Legislature. They know the runner up.
Tutor Dixon super genius. She is the only two thousand
twenty two fascist gubernatorial candidates who portrayed Sheila Wolf in
the two thousand nine film Buddy Bebop Versus The Living Dead.
(18:29):
Tutor Dixon is the one who promised to end trans
women playing men's sports in Michigan high school and college outfits.
And then somebody asked for one example of it happening,
and she couldn't think of one. Wow, she's done it again.
She was asked now about how to stop the next
school shooting before it happened, and her answer was, quote,
instead of doing all this critical race training, how about
(18:53):
we have training on spotting the emergency before it happens. Firstly,
it's critical race theory, Buddy Bebop lady. Secondly, critical race
theory is taught in guess how many Michigan schools. That's right, None, idiot,
(19:13):
but our winner. Rachel Campos Duffy of Fox Nudes. She's
the one who once told her audience that the US
had caused Russia to invade Ukraine. Well, now she's topped herself.
Campos Duffy has decreed that the Democratic candidate for governor
Georgia Stacy Abrams is not qualified to talk about abortions
because she has never had a child. A flash of
(19:35):
discomfort seemed to form across the faces of her co
host Steve Doocey and her other co host, Brian Kilmeade
and their guests Brian Kemp and inside you just knew
they were all wondering who was going to tell Rachel
that men talk about abortions all the time. In fact,
men were talking about abortions at that very moment, even
(19:58):
though men have never had a child either, foxes Rachel
after nine kids, you would have thought she'd know that
camp post Duffy two Day's worst personage in the World,
(20:28):
number one story on the Countdown in my favorite topic,
Me and forty years ago today, my epic career as
a local Boston sportscaster ended. I did not last long there.
The station got mad at me for making jokes during
the sportscast, which raised the question why did they hire
a guy known for making jokes during the sportscast? So
I left ten days shy of six months. Last day,
(20:52):
right after I got back from covering the World Series,
sitting next to another young Boston TV Sports reporter named
Carl Scrimsky, and the last day was Friday, October four.
It was short, but it was not sweet. But I
did meet some extraordinary people, and I learned one extraordinary
lesson that applies to a lot more of life than
(21:13):
might be suggested at first plush. On the night of Friday,
July six, Chet Curtis, who with his wife Natalie Jacobson,
were the mandarins of Boston Television News, asked me if
I wanted to go with him to dinner after our
six pm newscast. The following Monday, I would move from
sports reporter and fill in at the sports desk to
(21:34):
anchoring the sports report every night on r eleven PM newscast.
The year before, our station, Channel five, had interviewed me
for the job of sports director, but I made a
terrible mistake. In the interview with the general manager, Jim
copper Smith. I mentioned to him that we had met
before when he was general manager of Channel five in
New York and I was an intern in their newsroom.
(21:56):
This peaked copper Smith's curiosity since it had happened only
five years later. That's when he found out I was
not twenty eight years old, as his news director had
told him, but I was only twenty four. So instead
he hired this guy from Florida named Lee Webb. And
all you really need to know about Lee was that
after he left the station, he became the quote newscast
your unquote on the Pat Robertson TV network, and he
(22:19):
started talking about what the Bible said about Ronald Reagan.
And he often used the phrases Republicans and Democrats and
fire and brimstone in the same sentence. So a year
later they had decided Webb was too dull and I
was the coming thing, and they were splitting the sportscasting
job in half. Lee would stay on the six and
(22:40):
I would do the eleven. And Chad Curtis, who had
been on Boston TV since, wanted to give me an
idea of what was coming for me. So he said,
Let's go to Anthony's Pier four. Kind of touristy fish place,
but beautiful and great food, but I have to stop
on my way to get a quick SoundBite for the eleven.
Sure enough, Chet drove to a downtown office building, spied
(23:01):
the Channel five cameraman waiting for us on the sidewalk,
parked and hopped out. Now, on any summer's Friday night,
then end. Now Boston's downtown is deserted. But this was
a Friday night, two days after July four. It was
so empty you could hear the stoplights change from red
to green. Yet within a minute of check Curtis's appearance,
(23:23):
there formed a crowd of somewhere between fifty and a
hundred people. Where they came from. I have no idea
to this day. If you told me they had emerged
from the sewers, I would have and would believe you.
Without being asked. They formed a neat semi circle out
of the range of the camera. Whoever the guy was
(23:44):
that Chet was supposed to interview, answered his questions quickly.
The cameraman repositioned himself to get the obligatory. Chet listens
intently and intelligently cutaway shots. Then he said, Okay, we're done,
and the semicircle of civilians burst into applause. A few
came over for autographs and pictures. One said to me, yeah,
(24:04):
the new WUTS guy, I like you. Then they all
left as stealthily as they appeared. We got back into
Chet's truck. I was laughing nervously how how how do
you get used to that? I mean, when I've gone
to the ballpark, I get a few hello's and one
or two autograph requests. But does this happen all the time?
(24:26):
And how do you get used to it? Chat had
a wonderful laugh. It does not happen all the time.
It'll happen a lot more to you once you start
on the eleven. But don't get used to it. That's
one of the reasons I want to have dinner with you.
And the place we're going is where I learned the
lesson I wanted to offer to you. So we go
to Anthony's. The valet was saying good to see you,
(24:47):
Mr Curtis. Before Chet was fully out of the truck,
his boss appeared, but evening Chat people dining outside on
the pier stared. Several waved the major d beat us
to the front door and held it open for us,
and this is your new sportscaster, Welcome to Anthony's. Chet
was more than gracious. He managed to simultaneously conveyed deep appreciation,
(25:09):
low key surprise at all the attention, and the sense
that nobody was bothering him in the slightest As we
entered the dining room, there was polite applause. Chet waved
almost but not quite sheepishly. We were seated at the
best table at the best angle to see the harbor.
The reserved sign the manager of Anthony's removed was comically large.
(25:33):
After the drinks arrived, Chent began to preach. Unless you're
an athlete, nobody, he said, gets loved on as much
in this city as people on TV, especially people on
Channel five. Now it's a little quieter than usual because
of the holiday, But when they first put me on
the eleven o'clock news eight years ago next to my
beautiful bride, if I came in here, there would be
(25:53):
people standing and applauding. Natalie doesn't really like that stuff,
so she sends not to go with me to the
big restaurants. But me, I'm just Chester from Amsterdam, New York,
and I worked damn hard to get here, and I
loved it. I loved every second of it. If there
was an opportunity to come here before the late newscast
or after it, or on the weekends, I was here.
(26:13):
I said, I loved the fish. I really loved the applause.
He laughed again. I mean we're still number one, but
maybe five years ago we had higher ratings than the
other two stations combined. There were months at a time
when I didn't pay for a drink here, not one,
and I came to depend upon that. And that's what
(26:35):
I wanted to tell you. Don't don't get used to it,
don't expect it, don't fail to be surprised by it,
or at least don't fail if fake being surprised by it.
Because one day it happened. It happened right here, and
I thought my career was over at the age of
I know this will surprise you. I did not listen
(26:56):
to a lot of advice, but Jet Curtis was bearing
his soul here, and I felt a mixture of terror
and rapt anticipation about what had happen to him. I
think this was fairly early on, he said, mid seventies.
And I drove up, just like we did just now,
and I straightened my tie and it brushed my hair
and made myself ready for my adoring public. I'm ready
(27:18):
for my close up, Mr de Mill. And I opened
that door, and I went to that major d stand
and I smiled, and there was a guy there. I
had never seen before, and he said, can I help you?
And I smiled and looked to that bar where Danny
always is, see him right now. No, Danny, the bartender
that day didn't even look back at me. So, just
as the sense of anxiety began to creep up on me,
(27:40):
I said, rather defensively, I'm ched Curtis. And the Major
D looked at me with annoyance and said, you have
a reservation. And I thought a reservation. I have an
adoring public. I said, well no, but usually Tony holds
a table for me and says, I don't have to
call in advance, and the Major D says, well, I'm sorry,
we're full without a reservation the way it will be
(28:01):
ninety minutes. And now I am sweating, and then there's
a tap on my shoulder, Chat says, and I think,
thank god, it's a fan of News Center five, And
instead it's somebody who just says, excuse me, fellow, can
we get through Jones party of two? And now I'm
standing there and I look around the bar, and I
look around the dining room and nobody recognizes me. Not
(28:24):
a waitress, not a customer, nobody. And it starts in
my head chat, I say to myself, what have you done?
What did you say on the air? Nobody knows you
at Anthony's, nobody wants to know you. Your career is over?
What did you do? And now, Keith, I am beginning
to feel faint and panicky, and I run out the
(28:46):
door to get back in my car, and I drive
away as fast as possible, all the while thinking what
did you do to end your career? And just as
I get to my car, another car drives out, and
outsteps in shorts and a T shirt, Anthony himself, Anthony
of Anthony's Restaurant, the founder, the owner, and he says, Chat,
what the hell's wrong with you? Your pale is a ghost?
(29:08):
And I stammer about my career ending and nobody inside
recognizing me anymore. And and here Chet Curtis burst into laughter.
I'm almost in tears, telling him that the major d
said I'd have to wait ninety minutes because I didn't
have a reservation. And now Anthony laughs and he says,
of course nobody recognizes you. The whole staff is at
our summer picnic. I only came in now to give
(29:30):
them a chance to talk about me behind my back.
Those guys in there are all per diems, freelancers. Everybody
you know is that Nantasket Beach getting drunk. Chent finally
stopped his own laughter, sipped from his beer, and very
dramatically said, so, how do you get used to being recognized?
(29:52):
Do not get used to being recognized, because one day
everybody you expect is going to recognize you will be
out at a picnic at Nantasket Beach getting drunk that
you don't know about, and all you will be a
bolt to figure out is that your career is over
and you should go home and jump off your roof.
So this is my advice to you as you start
the eleven o'clock news in Boston. Never get used to it.
(30:30):
I've done all the damage I can do here. Help
me out. Subscribe to this podcast Acosta random passers by
or passers by, or give it five stars or whatever
you do. Most of the music, including our theme from
Beethoven's Ninth, was arranged, produced and performed by Brian Ray
and John Philip Channel. They are the Countdown musical directors.
All orchestration and keyboards by John Philip Channel, guitars, bass
(30:53):
and drums by Brian Ray. Produced by t k O Brothers.
Other Beethoven selections have been arranged and performed by No
Horns allowed. The sports music is the Olberman theme from
ESPN two and it was written by H. Warren Davis
courtesy of ESPN Inc. Musical comments from Nancy Faust the
best baseball stadium organist of all time. Our announced today
(31:13):
was John Dene and everything else is pretty much my fault.
So that's countdown for this second day since Donald Trump's
first attempted coop against the democratically elected government of the
United States. Arrest him now while we still can. There
will be a new episode tomorrow. Until then on Keith Alderman.
Good Morning, good afternoon, goodnight, and good luck. Countdown with
(31:41):
Keith Alderman is a production of I heart Radio. For
more podcasts from i heart Radio, visit the i heart
Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Host
Keith Olbermann
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