December 21, 2022 • 61 mins
EPISODE 100 REVISED: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
A-Block (1:53) BREAKING OVERNIGHT NEWS IN SPORTS: 24 hours ago Carlos Correa was on his way to a press conference for a $350 Million dollar deal with the San Francisco Giants. Then the shindig was cancelled and now Correa has instead signed with the New York Mets! Invoking the college basketball coached who changed his mind on the way to HIS press conference. And sadness in football as Franco Harris died, two days before the 50th Anniversary of the "Immaculate Reception" and three before the Steelers were to retire his uniform.
SPECIAL COMMENT (7:17) Merry Christmas! We got you six years of Trump's Tax Returns! No accounting expertise? No problem. There are apparently no receipts, no substantiations - and somebody stopped the IRS from its mandated audit of Trump's returns while he was in the Oval Office (9:00 The walls haven't just closed in on Trump, they've crushed him. The 1/6 Committee is now shipping all its evidence to DOJ Special Counsel Jack Smith (10:52) Remember the attorney who told the Trump witness not to tell everything to the Committee? She's been identified - and her lawyer was the Trump White House Ethics Attorney! (10:45) Bigger picture: The Omnibus Spending Bill will include "The Electoral Count Reform And Presidential Transition Improvement Act," or as it has also been described: Trump-Proofing Our System (14:00) And the right wingers are beginning to look for the Emergency Exit. They can't survive an actual Trump Trial, so they are floating "The Agnew Option" (16:00) But couldn't Trump then transfer his cult to some up and coming young Republican like Representative-Elect George Santos and his helpers? I will not make Simpsons references I will not make Simpsons references I will not make Simpsons references. (17:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: He really thought the name was "John Mastodon;" the owner of the Knicks, Rangers and Radio City owner is using facial recognition technology to keep out people he doesn't like, and Sean Hannity says you're not allowed to have his phone number (23:00) EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY: Grizzly in California.
B-Block (25:30) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: Amid dark rumors at MSNBC, the day that GE was ready to shut us down because the chairman's mother loved Fox News.
C-Block (44:00) JAMES THURBER: Maybe the best of his longer works, that almost predicted Joe McCarthy, O.J. Simpson, Donald Trump. The saga of fame without character, "The Greatest Man In The World."
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Countdown with Keith Olberman is a production of I Heart Radio.
This is Sports Center. Wait check that not anymore. This
(00:29):
is Countdown with Keith. You are hearing right. We're starting
in sports because of breaking news, two extraordinary stories that
happened overnight. Then we'll go to Trump and Tuesday's developments.
That mean if he was waiting for just the right
time to flee the country, that moment is now. First
(00:49):
baseball free agent Carlos Korea, this time Tuesday, on his
way to a press conference to sign with the San
Francisco Giants, has instead signed overnight with the New York Mets.
The free agent and the Giants had agreed to a
three and fifty million dollar contract to run through the
season of twenty thirty four. They scheduled a news conference
(01:11):
for eleven am Pacific Yesterday. At eight fifteen am Pacific,
the Giants postponed the news conference. Then they postponed Korea's
scheduled appearance on the team's flagship radio station. It was
widely reported something turned up in Korea's physical that caused
the Giants to hesitate, and over which they and Korea
and his people disagreed, and the Giants wanted a second opinion.
(01:34):
New York and the baseball world awoke to news that
Korea too had a second opinion. He wasn't waiting around.
He signed with the Mets overnight for one year less
and only about six hundred and fifty thousand less a year,
three hundred and fifteen million for twelve years instead of
three hundred and fifty million for thirteen years, and he
(01:55):
will switch from shortstop to third base in New York.
It is stunning because yeah, teams back out of trades
and contracts all the time. Just looking at the Mets.
In one they selected the picture Kumar Rocker out of
Vanderbilt with the tenth pick of the amateur draft. Then
they got a look at his physical and they didn't
sign him. Six years earlier, they had traded infielder Wilmer
(02:17):
Florists to Milwaukee for outfielder Carlos Gomez. News of the
trade leaked out during a game. Flora's found out. He
began to weep on the field during play, the fans
rose in emotional standing ovations. Then Gomez failed his Mets physical,
the deal was called off. The Mets instead traded for
(02:37):
Joenna Cespitas, and he and the untraded Flores led them
to the World Series of two thousand fifteen. But what's
bizarre here is this got to within two hours and
forty five minutes of Carlos Carea and the San Francisco
Giants announcing their deal at a press conference. I was
flashed back and my flashbacks are a theme for today's
(03:00):
podcast to the story of Bob Donal Wald and assist
in basketball coach at Indiana University under Bobby Knight. Donna
Wald accepted the job as the head coach of Brown
University in and flew to Rhode Island. But on the
way to the press conference at Brown at the end
of March seventy eight, Dona Wald changed his mind. He
(03:23):
got out of the car and he told Brown's athletic
director he would just walk to the airport and go
back to Indiana. He later coached for a couple of
colleges in the Midwest. Carlos Korea is of course, not
officially a New York met The deal is pending physical
and obviously the completion of the press conference. There is
(03:47):
another breaking sports story from overnight Tuesday Wednesday, and it
is nowhere near as happy Football Hall of Famer Frank
O'harris of Penn State and the Pittsburgh Steelers has died
at the age of seventy two. He was the most
Valuable player of Super Bowl nine. In all, he won
four Super Bowls in Pittsburgh, but he will always be
remembered for one play, and that's what makes this extraordinary.
(04:09):
In the final thirty seconds of the nineteen seventy two
a FC Divisional playoff game against the Raiders, Terry Branshaw
passed the Steeler running back John Frenchie Fuqua. The ball
bounced off defender Jack Tatum, or it bounced off Tatum
and Fuqua and into Harris's hands and he ran it
in for the game winning touchdown that kept the Steelers
(04:30):
playoff hopes alive. Or it bounced only off Fuqua, or
it bounced off the turf. Both of those would have
made it an incomplete pass and a dead ball and
no touchdown. The officials during the game in real time
seemed to disagree over the call, but ultimately Harris was
granted the touchdown and the Steelers were granted the victory.
(04:52):
There was no video replay in nineteen seventy two. Nor
frankly Is any of the video or film conclusive even today,
even from people who've seen it thousands of times. F Anko.
Harris is passing is obviously a tragedy to his family
and his fans and his sport. But what elevates this
story to almost unbelievable as this That play occurred on
(05:15):
December twenty three, two, the fiftieth anniversary of the so
called Immaculate Reception, is this Friday. On Saturday, the Steelers
were to celebrate that anniversary and retire Frank o'harris's uniform
number thirty two, only the third number retirement in their
(05:36):
franchise history. That ceremony will go on as scheduled, but
it will turn from celebration to memorial. Tens of millions
(05:58):
of dollars in these returns that were claimed without adequate
substantiation What he is in Trump's tax returns, per Congressman
Lloyd Dogga to Texas after the House Ways and Means
Committee voted to release them last night, next to no
receipts for deductions, He says, no data, no evidence in fact,
(06:20):
that the I R S ever completed an audit of
Trump while he was president, which would itself be a
violation of its own policy, because all presidents are required
to be audited while in office. No evidence that it
even began an audit until the committee asked for Trump's returns,
and of course the I can't release them. I'm being audited.
(06:43):
Thing has been the fig leaf behind which Trump has
hidden his taxes since at least two thousand fifteen. When
they are all out there, there will be six years
of them, plus the returns of eight businesses affiliated with Trump.
It is al capone time, it is evidence. My point
(07:05):
here yesterday was that it was the evidence the January
six Committee had presented and not the criminal referrals that mattered.
And now punch Bowl News is reporting that the Committee
is sending Special Counsel Jack Smith It's evidence, all of
its evidence, all of Mark Meadows texts, transcripts of its
interviews with many of its one thousand different witnesses, especially
(07:29):
the ones who testified about the John Eastman fake collector scheme.
They started shipping last week, just in time for Christmas.
Prior to Counsel Smith's letter to the House Committee Chairman
Benny Thompson on December five, the Committee had been hesitant
to send its raw materials but apparently that has changed
and changed completely. The Hope Hicks text Smith the I
(07:53):
told Trump to tweet about not being violent Monday and
Tuesday before the insurrection Wednesday, and he refused Monday and
Tuesday text. Get that Smith, get it framed. I am
still suffering from Mueller PTSD, and I'm still not fully
convinced that Jack Smith's appointment might not still be just
(08:14):
another delay to run out the clock because too many
in government from both parties still believe the purpose of
their jobs is to protect anybody who will ever hold
their jobs from accountability, let alone prosecution. But this is
slightly encouraging. Meanwhile, the committee may have produced evidence of
yet another crime. I also mentioned this yesterday. There is
(08:36):
new evidence of another cover up of obstruction of justice
relative to the January six committee itself. The committee revealed
yesterday that a witness revealed her attorney told her she
could get away with not correcting her testimony even though
she thought it was incomplete. That she was told that
saying she couldn't recall was fine even if she could recall.
(09:00):
Last night, CNN identified the witness and the attorney. It
is none other than the former Trump Oval Office aide,
Cassidy Hutchinson, and the lawyer who we may soon be
able to call the ex lawyer, the one who told
her that, per the CNN report, is named Stefan Pasentino,
and Stephen Pasentino also worked in the Trump White House.
(09:23):
As believe it or not, the Presidential Ethics attorney. Now,
what he did might be illegal, but at least it
was truthful. What else would you expect from the Trump
ethics attorney. The Associated Press, meantime, hit another angle to
the committee hearing, and today the committee is expected to
(09:43):
release its full report. In short, the AP noting it's quiet.
It's too quiet. For all the damning words about Trump
on Monday, almost no Republicans said a thing. In his defense.
The AP reminds us that after the mari Lago documents search,
Mitch McConnell demanded quote an immediate and thorough explanation from
(10:04):
the FBI. But about the January six committees metaphorical impaling
of Trump, McConnell said, only the entire nation knows who
is responsible for that day. Even Josh Hawley, running man,
who demanded Merritt Garland resign after mari Lago, said nothing
about the Committee's criminal referrals on Trump. The News service
(10:26):
could get only one prominent Republican to go on the
record in defensive Trump on Monday, the Hapless Opportunist the
Least Stephanaic of New York. She called the committee unconstitutional
and illegitimate, but even she said nothing to suggest Trump
had been somehow maligned by it. Bigger picture last night,
(10:47):
one Republican senators voted to proceed on the omnibus spending bill,
even while the Republican House was railing against it. That
preliminary vote passed seventy five, and the bill includes the
Bipartisan Electoral Count Reform and Presidential Transition Improvement Act, which
(11:07):
would clean up the fuzziness of the original Electoral Count
Act of eight seven. Specifically, this one would specify that
the vice president's role in counting electors he is completely ceremonial.
It would also override potential variants of the Eastman plan
at the state level, requiring governors to certify only those
electors who match up with the popular vote in their states.
(11:31):
Would also smooth processes to challenge Eastman electoral slates in
the courts. As the impeccable Greg Sergeant of the Washington
Post put it, the GOP is quietly trump proofing our
system behind his back. Unfortunately, the omnibus buill does not
include a measure proposed to neutralize Schedule F, the plan
(11:52):
which would let Trump or any president fire all career
bureaucrats civil service staffers and replace them with political flunkeys.
And if you haven't seen it, There was also a
Washington Post column yesterday echoing what is now about a
dozen similar suggestions that have floated out of the far
right as the prospect rose again something mentioned here yesterday
(12:14):
of just what the trial of Donald Trump would look like.
That looming reality has forced conservatives to find an emergency
exit somewhere so that a Trump on trial would not
take them down with him. Their proposal the Agnew option.
If you are not old enough to have lived through this, Hi,
(12:35):
how are you Spiro? Ted Agnew. Richard Nixon's first vice president,
corrupted everything he touched except the Visiting Nurse Association. He
reportedly took cash bribes as governor of Maryland and cash
bribes in the White House as vice president. Rather than
put him on trial, but Justice Department offered him and
(12:57):
the Nixon administration a deal, a no contest plea to
one charge of violating federal X laws, a ten dollar fine,
his resignation as vice president, and his permanent retirement from
public office. Not that Trump would do this, but it
is clear conservatives are coalescing around the idea that if
(13:19):
justice dropped everything that could actually put Trump in jail
or required a trial, and simply asked for something like
a guilty plea on insurrection and an acknowledgement that section
three of the fourteenth Amendment would preclude Trump from seeking
office again because he had pleaded guilty to insurrection, we
would then be spared another long national nightmare. My first
(13:41):
thought was, sure, but couldn't Trump transfer his cult to
his son or some other derelict human being. On the
other hand, if he was convicted of everything from the
taxes to try and to overthrow the government, and he
had to spend the rest of his life in a
super max prison somewhere, couldn't Trump transfer his cult to
(14:04):
his son or some other derelict human being, like say
Congressman elect George Santos of New York. The chairman of
the Nassau County Republicans, has even said now that the
fact that Santos apparently made up everything about his resume
except his birthdate is quote serious, and the Democrat he
(14:27):
beat has called for Santos to resign. Of more relevance
silence from those whom Santos could take down with him,
the Republicans who loudly endorsed him and now look complicit
in the fraud. Among them longtime moderate New York Republican
Governor George Pataki, Republican candidate for Governor of New York
(14:48):
Lee's Elden, Congresswoman Stephanic, the Nassau County Police Benevolent Association,
the New York Post newspaper, Congressman Ronnie Jackson of Texas,
and best of all of all those who endorse this idiot,
the presumptive Speaker of the House, Kevin McCarthy. And all
(15:09):
day yesterday I kept thinking of just one thing. They
helped George Santos, George Santos, they helped him. George Santos helpers,
Santos helpers, Santos helper, Santos L helper, Santos L helper.
(15:37):
If you know, you know so, it's that time again
for the daily roundup of the miscrants, morons, and Dunning
Krueger effects specimens who constitute today's worst persons in the
(15:59):
world Lebronze. The website media It higher an idiot named
Isaac Shore away from the Conservative National Review. One of
his first stories for mediaite was about the Elon Musk
Twitter suspensions. Shore wrote that one of the victims of
Musk's rage was quote John Mastodon, the founder of a
(16:23):
competing social media company named after himself. I'll just repeat that,
John Mastodon, the founder of a competing social media company
named after himself. Of course, what it said in the
tweet was joined Mastodon. This kid, sure, like all standard conservatives,
(16:43):
didn't understand something and instead of asking or grown up,
he just made up whatever sounded good to him. John Mastodon.
My family name is Mastodon. This over here, this is
my cousin stand Elephant. No, we're not related to the
former head of the European Union, Donald Tusk. John mastad
(17:04):
On our runner up. Speaking of Mastodon's. James Dolan the
owner of Madison Square Garden, the New York Knicks the
New York Rangers. He has rivals to be the worst
owner in sports and entertainment, but not when it comes
to hands on pettiness. A woman named Kelly Conlin says
(17:25):
she took her daughter to Radio City in New York,
which Dolan and Madison Square Garden also own. They were
part of a girl Scout group going to see the
Rocketts and their Christmas spectacular, which, by the way, is
advertised here in New York approximately every seventy three seconds. Anyway,
they went through the metal detectors at Radio City, which
(17:47):
is when she was stopped by security and told she
could not enter the facility. They let her daughter go
in with the other Scout moms, but Ms Conlin says
they told her that facial recognition technology had identified her
and she was not permitted to enter because is she
works for a New Jersey based law firm representing somebody
(18:08):
who had a personal injury lawsuit against the restaurant that
is somehow part of Madison Square Garden. Conlin can't figure
this out. The lawsuit is being handled by her firm's
New York office. She works in Jersey. She's got nothing
to do with it. Yet. A spokesman for MSG confirms
nobody working for that law firm is admitted to see
(18:28):
the Rockettes, the Rangers, or the Knicks. Given how Jim
Dolan has driven the Rockets, the Rangers and the Knicks
into the ground. It could have been worse for Ms Conlin.
They could have led her in, But our winner, Sean Hannity,
the folks at TPM Talking Points Memo phoned him about
his role in the insurrection, texts of the former chief
(18:51):
of staff for Trump, Mark Meadows. Hannity's reply, number one,
You're not allowed to get my number. You knew the
rules and you're bidden care. Let me translate that into English.
Number one, You're not allowed to get my number. You
knew the rules and you didn't care. Yes, I believe
it's a law, a federal law eighteen US Code three
(19:12):
three seven. Anybody getting Sean Hannity's phone number is subject
to a penalty of not more than seven hours in
a holding cell with Greg Gutfeld. You're not allowed to
get my number. I was flashed back. I've been having
a lot of these flashbacks lately, Doctor to Hannity's old
Fox colleague Bill O'Reilly. Bill O'Reilly used to have a
(19:35):
radio show too, before the Lufa's and the Falafels of
history caught up with him. One day, a provocateur called
in identified himself as Mike, and he told Billow quote,
I'd like to listen to you during the day and
I think Keith Olberman show, at which point O'Reilly disconnected
the call and went into a tirade. Mike is he's
(19:57):
a gone guy. You know, we we have your phone numbers,
by the way, So if you're listening, Mike, we have
your phone number and we're going to turn it over
to Fox Security and you'll be getting a little visit.
Mike is going to get in big trouble because we're
not gonna play around when you call us ladies and gentlemen.
Just so you know, we do have your phone number,
(20:17):
and if you say anything untoward up scene or anything
like that, Fox Security will contact your local authorities. Dill
o'reiley believed that Fox could send the cops to punish
people callers who said things he didn't like on his
radio show, just like Hannity thinks you're not allowed to
(20:39):
get his phone number. It always pleased me that when
they finally fired Bill O'Reilly after the three thousand harassment
case or whatever it was, Billow was escorted out of
the Fox headquarters down the street from me by Fox security, Sean,
you're not allowed to get my number. Watch yourself, I
have facial recognition. To Hannity, Today's worst person in the World.
(21:20):
Still ahead on Countdown, the rumor within NBC universal that
things are going so badly at MSNBC that they may
sell it or shutter it. I had another one of
those flashbacks. I went back to the day in two
thousand nine when things are going so well at MSNBC
that they actually wanted to sell it or shutter it
because the chairman's mother was a fan of Fox News.
(21:40):
No seriously. First, in each edition of Countdown, we feature
a dog in need you can help. Every dog has
its day. Two things to mention. First, it is unbelievable.
There are now twenty seven dogs on the kill list
at the New York City Pound. The NYC a c
C Happy Holidays, reminding you of Elaine Boosler's offer to
cover ordinary expenses for a year if you save one
(22:03):
of them by adopting their bios on my Twitter feed
for dogs. Also, though, a big shepherd named Grizzly arrived
just last Thursday in the pound at DeVore, California. He's
five years old, injured, They're already ready to kill him
because he's acting stressed as if they deliberately can't understand
cause and effect. Pledges to help a rescue group save
Grizzly are urgently needed. My tweet about him is also
(22:26):
at tom Jumbo Grumbo on Twitter. I thank you, and
Grizzly thanks you. This is Countdown with Keith Olberman. So
(22:48):
a programming announcement. Now, this is the planned holiday schedule.
I am taking the next week off and we will
be back with a new episode next Thursday, that is December.
If in the interim something else happens, like Elon Musk
being the planet, or Trump getting frog marched at Marilago
(23:09):
or whatever, of course I will put out a special
edition and if you are subscribing to this it will
download automatically on your device. You should excuse the expression.
So now to the number two story on the Countdown
on my favorite topic, me and things I promised not
to tell. And this is not the anniversary of this event,
and in fact happened over the summer, but I was
(23:30):
reminded of it yesterday when somebody who knows told me
that things are going so poorly at NBC News that
one of the things floating around NBC Universal corporate management
half seriously at this point is to sell, among other things,
MSNBC or just close MSNBC down. That rang a few bells,
(23:54):
so here goes. Often it happens in television that there
are events so traumatic that the cliche about your life
flashing before your eyes does not apply, but an equally
hackneyed one about your career flashing before your eyes might.
The executive producer of our MSNBC newscast Countdown, Izzy Povich,
(24:15):
and I were on the grown up elevator to the
office of NBC President Jeff Zucker on the fifty second
floor of thirty Rock in New York, Summoned there by
some garbled message from MSNBC president Phil Griffin about MSNBC
being taken off the air, I was mumbling to Izzy,
sundry imprecations and reminiscences, eight freaking months is we spent
(24:39):
twelve freaking months forcing them to create meadows showed last
eight months, all the crap prompter practice, getting her over
her fears, rockets past CNN only eight months of show
and now it's all gone. Izzy reminded me it was
not just Rachel's show that was threatened, which was why
poor Court Harson from Hardball was already upstairs along with
(25:00):
poor Ed Schultz and Phil Griffin at Rachel's execut at,
a producer, Bill Wolf, and some clown from Morning Joe,
and a couple of other MSNBC executives and us. I know,
I know, I did the line from the drunken Irishman
from Hitchcock's The Birds, complete with the bad accent. It's
the end of the world, I said, Jeff Emil is
(25:22):
going to take MSNBC off the air. I didn't need
any of my overwrought visions from two years earlier of
the future of liberal news commentary falling out the NBC
window to its death on the rink. This was the
real thing. The chairman of General Electric was threatening to
open the window himself, throw us out the window himself,
(25:43):
and then race down to the pavement to stomp on
our dying remains himself. Poor Ed Schultz heard Jeff Zucker
say those words, and he had screwed up his face
and tilted his head like a puppy hearing a car crash.
He had not believed it the first time. He had
not believed it the second time. Zucker said it a
(26:03):
third time. Emilt going to take MSNBC off the ff
ing air at, Schultz groaned. After weeks of Griffin's coaxing,
he had finally just moved from Nebraska to New York
the preceding weekend, yet he was still, somehow only the
second most strung out person in the room. You, Zucker,
shouted at me, You're the smartest one in the room.
(26:26):
What the f do we do now? I'll confess I
was shaken by this because it appeared for once that
Zucker was not being sarcastic. I had never before seen
him flush nor flustered. This was a guy who wore
fleece in July. Now he was beat red and sweating.
Sometimes he knew what he was doing, and, as his
(26:46):
opposition to hiring Mattow had proved, sometimes he didn't know
what he was doing. But he always acted as the
most confident man in the galaxy. But now he literally
had no clue what to do next. And he not
only could not ignore my advice, he desperately needed it.
This situation and that color on his case. We're almost
worth watching the corporate fascists nuke my network, I asked
(27:10):
the sucker, to explain what happened. You God, Dad, well
know what happened. Zucker moved towards me, and I stood
up and I told him I would see myself out.
He stopped, remembering that he did indeed actually need my help.
I'm sorry, I apologize. This isn't rational, this is this
is I melt. Last week sometime Bill O'Reilly snapped. He
told Murdach he wasn't gonna take any more of what
(27:32):
you were saying about him on the air. So he
did a piece last night accusing GE of manufacturing the
components that been used in roadside bombs that were built
in a rand to kill Americans in Iraq, which is
which is true? Legally, that's legally true. They found roadside
bombs that had like thirty year old GE transistors or
or TV tubes from nineteen fifty four or is something
(27:54):
in them? Legally, g E did manufacture components that were
used in roadside bombs that were built in I ran
to kill Americans in Iraq. So O'Reilly puts this on
his fffing show as a last story, and then Fox
sent two camera crews in this little crap. Producer from
a Riley Show, Jesse water something to stake Immilt out
(28:14):
and chase him around the GE shareholders meeting in Charlotte.
Zucker finally came up for air, and I jumped in,
why didn't m L have six camera crews to stake
out the two Fox crews and chase them around in Charlotte?
I mean, isn't that one of our news hubs Charlotte
doesn't m L own like twenty camera crews? There? He
bring a camera crew, you'll bring two camera crews. Zucker
(28:38):
started to not like me again. Now you suggest that
where were you in al I never mind, it doesn't matter.
mL says, if there's one more story on Bill O'Reilly
about GE manufacturing components for roadside bombs inter rack, he's
taking MSNBC off the air immediately. It'll just be twenty
four hours of lock up. And I'm fired and you're fired.
(28:59):
And then he pointed at Chris Matthews, producer, and Matthews
is fired. And he pointed at poor Ed Sheltz and
you're are fired, and Ed whimpered, so smart asked, what
the f do we do? I feigned all the nonchalance
I could feign if I could have lit a shroot
by striking a match on the soul of my boot.
I would have it's manageable. But Jeff, why is mL
(29:23):
so worked up about what O'Reilly said about him? Only
O'Reilly's nutjob viewers actually believe any of that crap. Nobody
had GE, nobody investing in GE could possibly believe we're
building components for roadside bombs. Zucker inhaled deeply. M L's
mother believes it. All the heads in the room turned
(29:45):
toward the president of NBC. Mrs m L back in
Cincinnati is a devoted Bill O'Reilly viewer watches him every night,
sees this, calls him, says, Sonny, why are you manufacturing
components that were used in roadside bombs built in a
rand to kill Americans in Iraq? I had not expected that,
(30:07):
I said to Zooker. So so he'll really burn what
two million a year in profits just between Rachel and me?
Because he's mom watches Bill O'Reilly. Zucker got angry again.
You bet your effing ass he will now you said
it was manageable. How how the he do we manage it? Ulverman,
just a minute, how old is she? Zucker summoned all
(30:31):
his annoyance. How old is who m ELTs mother? How
old is she? Jeff Zucker was really annoyed. How the
eff should I know? You're missing the point? I had
him really worked up, nearly to the boiling point. It
was great, guess, Zucker spluttered, I don't know. He's in
his mid fifties. She's gotta be eighty nineties something. I
(30:55):
stifled to fake yawn. Yeah, you're right, probably closer to
ninety now that I think of it. So the problem
is she watches O'Reilly. She tells him what's on Fox?
What O'Reilly saying about Ge? Well, I think you have
a simple solution. I'd say the first thing you do
is you send over a couple of big guys to
her house and you pull the freaking cable out of
(31:17):
the wall. Zucker actually gasped. My producer, is Hepovich unsuccessfully
stifled a laugh, and I saw Rachel crack a smile.
Zucker regained himself. This isn't funny, Alderman, I crossed my legs. Oh,
it's a little funny. And anyway, it's not essential. If
the problem is email is threatening to take the network
(31:37):
off there because O'Reilly is avenging himself against me by
attacking him and attacking ge. The short term solution is easy,
and in fact, it is manageable. The long term solution
that's not easy, and that's not manageable. But the short
term one that's simple. Rest of this week, next week,
maybe the week after that, even we just don't mention
(31:57):
Fox News on MSNBC. Something resembling a smile crossed Zooker
his face. It made him look a little less like
a lizard person and more like a monkey with glasses.
You do that forever? No, not forever. I would not
do that, I said to Bias time. Yes, but remember
(32:20):
who was it who was in my office last winter
telling me that I should go on the air and
and just to f with Fox? I should ask why
Rupert Murdoch was still running a huge international media company
like News Corp, despite all the reports that he's suffering
from dementia, even though there haven't been any reports that
he's suffering from dementia. For everybody's sake, here, who was
(32:40):
that again who told me to do that? Zuker's goodwill
was gone again? Obviously that was me. What's your point?
My point is, we built this new brand of ours organically,
and a couple of themes, a couple of statements of principle,
and one of them is to use your words just
to f with Fox. If we don't f with Fox
(33:02):
for a couple of weeks at the start of the summer,
who is gonna care. Who's gonna notice? But like after
two weeks, three weeks, our viewers are gonna notice, and
the TV writers are gonna notice, and then the crap
will hit from every direction. You can think of temporary
freeze on mentioning Fox, then mentioning O'Reilly and mentioning Murdock. Fine,
permanent freeze. Might as well let him l turn us
(33:25):
off in the morning. After all, I don't think Zucker
actually heard the last part about him turning us off.
After all, the lack of color was returning to his face. Okay, breathe,
he kept saying to himself. Breathe, breathe, Okay, breathe. He
looked at me and nodded. He pointed at Izzy and
at Phil Griffin and me, you and you and you
(33:47):
and I will we will talk tomorrow, maybe tonight, and
we'll all meet again next week. Until then, nothing about Fox, anybody,
Are we clear? Nothing on the air about Fox. Silence
in the room, Then the assorted noises of people rising,
mixed with attempts to resuscitate poor Ed Schultz. Somebody Matthew's guy,
Harson I think, was almost at the door out of
(34:09):
Zooker's office, an office so big that it was to
steal the Ring Lardner line, the size of the Yale Bowl,
but with lamps. And then a voice spoke up, quietly
but firmly, Excuse me. It was Rachel Maddow. Excuse me.
I will not have the content of my show dictated
by any corporations, including the one I work for. Remember
(34:33):
this is June two nine. She still felt that way then,
and especially one I don't work for. I will walk
out first. I cannot have the audience wondering what else
I have not told them. I don't do a lot
about Fox on my show, but if there is a
story about Fox, I will not honor this freeze. I
will report that story. And if I'm prevented from reporting
that story, I will leave. Whereupon she left, Zucker barked
(34:55):
Phil all Rouman, is he stay? When the rest of
the room had cleared, Zucker blew air out of his
mouth as if it were smoke. He gestured violently at
me with his right arm. I told you she was
a mistake. You didn't listen to me. I told you.
Now she's your problem. All this is your problem. Get
her back on the reservation or else. Now I had
(35:16):
run out of goodwill and jokes. Oh, I'll get her
back on the reservation, Jeff. But if you think this
is my problem, just think about what happens if he
really does take us off the air, or if it
just gets out that he threatened to take us off
the air because his mother didn't like what Fox said
(35:38):
about him. That's my problem. Uh, that's your problem. And
it's the problem of the CEO of the freaking sixth
largest corporation in the world, who makes his business decisions
involving hundreds of millions of dollars of profits based on
what his mother says. At this point, Phil Griffin managed
(36:01):
to pull Zooker away, and Izzy and I made for
the door, saying nothing until we were in the elevator. Finally,
she asked, what are you going to do about Rachel?
I looked straight ahead. I have depth reception issues while
traveling forward, backwards, up or down the I I know
what I'm gonna do about her, but I got an idea.
I mean, the only person she was really talking to
(36:22):
in there was herself. This isn't a brand new surprise
success for her anymore. This is successful. This is what
nine ten months she's successful. She said she was once
a dancing cell phone outside of cell phone store outside
of Boston. She ain't going back to that. I went
to talk to Rachel about an hour later and reassured her.
(36:43):
I mentioned that powerful as Fox was, they were not
going to be able to re invade Iraq by themselves,
and unless she moved it way closer than it had been,
nobody would cross her censorship line. And I said, just
give me as much time as the French government took
before fleeing during the Nazi advance in n I said,
give me, what was it, thirty three days? Give me
(37:05):
thirty three days. If we aren't back where we were
this morning, we can both quit on the air. I
mean that would be fun, right. Three nights later, well
after midnight on a Friday, my NBC issued BlackBerry buzzed
with a quick email from Rachel Maddow. Hey, she wrote,
don't necessarily quote me because I'm really drunk, but just
(37:26):
make the best deal you can for us. I trust you.
We don't need to do Fox all the time. I
never do Fox stories anyway. I just had to say that,
and this is the best platform we will ever have.
Well she was right, at least for the time being.
A couple of weeks later, I had to sneak in
a script that blasted Fox, and at ten thirty at
home that night, I got a call from a drunken
(37:46):
Phil Griffin shouting into the phone, I have a family.
Zooker had to go meet with Roger Ales secretly inside
thirty Rock and I hope they remember to clean the
room afterwards. And m l even had to meet with Murdoch.
And then, happily, some idiot g executive decided to boast
to The New York Times about getting us little talent
(38:09):
children under control and a big deal with the executives
over at Fox and how they'd settled everything, which blew
up the whole deal instantly, because the moment the deal
went public, NBC looked so stupid, and even NBC News
was now risked. The only point of the whole thing
was to keep the Immelts and the Zookers and the
(38:29):
Griffins and the Ailes is from throwing us and our
little island of liberal commentary out of that window at
thirty Rock. But as Rachel Maddow and I would be
constantly reminded in the ensuing years, thirty Rock has a
lot of freaking windows. So that the day they almost
(38:56):
threw all of us out the window at thirty Rock
because Jeff Immelts mommy was a big bill O'Reilly fan,
that flash me back to that imagery out the window,
and that is what we will close the countdown with,
possibly James Thurber's most cutting, most prophetic story of American
(39:16):
fame without character, American adoration without any redeeming qualities. It
foretold everybody from Joe McCarthy to Donald Trump to Kanye West,
the greatest men in the world next to the master
(39:44):
the work of James Thurber. There is a short film
of this story. I don't think it really does it justice.
I don't think anything does it justice. Occasionally, real life
does do it justice. I've thought I've seen this story
playing out in real time in this country almost every
day for about seven years years. Sit back and relax,
(40:08):
if relaxes the right word for it for the Greatest
Man in the World by James Thurber. Looking back on
it now from the vantage point of nineteen forty, one
can only marvel that it had not happened long before
it did. The United States of America had been ever
since Kittie Hawk blindly constructing the elaborate petard by which,
(40:33):
sooner or later it must be hoist. It was inevitable
that someday there would come, roaring out of the skies
a national hero of insufficient intelligence, background, and character, successfully
to endure the mounting orgies of glory prepared for aviators
who stayed up for a long time or flew a
great distance. Both Lindberg and Bird, fortunately for national decorum
(40:59):
and international amity, had been gentleman. So had our other
famous aviators. They wore their laurels gracefully, withstood the awful
weather of publicity, married excellent women, usually fine family, and
quietly retired to private life and the enjoyment of their
varying fortunes. No untoward incidents on a worldwide scale marred
(41:21):
the perfection of their conduct on the perilous heights of fame.
The exception to the rule was, however, bound to occur,
and it did in July ninety seven when Jack Pal
Smirch erstwhile mechanics helper in a small garage in Westfield, Iowa,
(41:42):
flew a second hand, single notored breast Haven Dragonfly three
monoplane all the way around the world without stopping. Never
before in the history of aviation had such a flight
as Smirches even been dreamed of. No one had even
taken seriously the weird floating auxiliary gas tanks invention of
(42:05):
the mad New Hampshire professor of astronomy, Dr Charles Lewis Gresham,
upon which Smirch placed full reliance. When the garage worker,
slightly built, surly unprepossessing young men of twenty two appeared
at Roosevelt Field early in July n slowly chewing a
great quid of scrap tobacco, and announced nobody ain't seen
(42:29):
no flying yet. The newspapers touched briefly and satirically upon
his projected twenty five thousand mile flight. Aeronauticle and automotive
experts dismissed the idea, curtly, implying that it was a hoax.
The publicity stunt. The rusty battered second hand plane wouldn't go.
(42:51):
The Gresham auxiliary tanks wouldn't work. It was simply a
cheap joke. Smirch. However, after calling on a girl in
Brooklyn who worked in the flap folding department of a
large paper box factory, a girl whom he later described
as his sweet but duty climbed nonchalantly into his ridiculous
(43:15):
plane at dawn the memorable seventh of July, n spit
a curve of tobacco juice into the still air, and
took off, carrying with him only a gallon of bootleg
gin and six pounds of salami. When the garage boy
thundered out over the ocean, the papers were forced to
(43:35):
record in all seriousness that a mad, unknown young man
his name was variously misspelled, had actually set out upon
a preposterous attempt to span the world in a rickety
one engine contraption, trusting to the long distance refueling device
of a crazy school master. When nine days later, without
(43:56):
having stopped once, the tiny plane appeared above San Francisco Bay,
headed for New York, spluttering and choking, to be sure,
but still magnificent and miraculously aloft the headlines which long
since had crowded everything else off the front page. Even
the shooting of the Governor of Illinois by the Valetti
Gang swelled to unprecedented size, and the news stories began
(44:18):
to run to twenty five and thirty columns. It was noticeable, however,
that the accounts of the epoch making flight touched rather
lightly upon the aviator himself. This was not because the
facts about the hero as a man were too meager,
but because they were too complete. Reporters who had been
(44:44):
rushed out to Iowa when Smirch's plane was first sighted
over the ledge Lord French coast town of sair Lee
Lemaire to dig up the story of the great man's life,
had promptly discovered that the story of his life could
not be printed. His mother, a sullen short order cook
in a shack restaurant on the edge of a tourist's
camping ground near Westfield, met all inquiries as to her
(45:06):
son with an angry and the hell with him help
he drowns. His father appeared to be in jail somewhere
for stealing spotlights and lap robes from tourists automobiles. His
young brother, a weak minded lad, had but recently escaped
from the Preston, Iowa Reformatory, and was already wanted in
several Western towns where the theft of money order blanks
(45:28):
from post offices. These alarming discoveries were still piling up
at the very time that Pal Smirch, the greatest hero
of the twentieth century, blear eyed, dead for sleep, half starved,
was piloting his crazy junk heap high above the region
in which the lamentable story of his private life was
being unearthed, headed for New York and a greater glory
(45:50):
than any man of his time had ever known. The
necessity for printing some account in the papers of the
young man's career and personality had led to a remarkable
predict of It was, of course, impossible to reveal the facts,
for a tremendous popular feeling in favor of the young
(46:11):
hero had sprung up like a grass fire when he
was halfway across Europe on his flight around the globe.
He was therefore described as a modest, chap taciturn blonde,
popular with his friends, popular with girls. The only available
snapshot of Smirch, taken at the wheel of a phony
automobile in a cheap photo studio at an amusement park
(46:33):
was touched up so that the little vulgarian looked quite handsome.
His twisted leer was smoothed into a pleasant smile. The
truth was in this way kept from the youth's ecstatic compatriots.
They did not dream that the Smirch family was despised
and feared by its neighbors in the obscure Iowa town,
(46:55):
nor that the hero himself, because of numerous unsavory exploits,
had come to be regarded in Westfield as a nuisance
and a menace. Pal Smirch had, the reporters discovered, once
knife the principle of his high school, not mortally, to
be sure, but he had knifed him, and on another occasion,
(47:15):
surprised in the act of an stealing altarcloth from a church,
he had bashed the sexton over the head with a
pot of Easter lilies. For each of these offenses he
had served a sentence in the reformatory. Inwardly, the authorities,
both in New York and in Washington, prayed that an
understanding providence might, however awful, such a thing seemed, bring
(47:40):
disaster to the rusty, battered plane and its illustrious pilot,
who's unheard of flight had aroused the civilized world to
hosannas of hysterical praise. The authorities were convinced that the
character of the renowned aviator was such that the limelight
of adulation was bound to reveal him to all the
world as a congenital hooligan, mentally and morally unequipped to
(48:05):
cope with his own prodigious fame. Trust, said the Secretary
of State, at one of the many secret cabinet meetings
called to consider the national dilemma, a trust that his
mother's prayer will be answered by which he referred to
Mrs Emma's Smirch's wish that her son might be drowned. Was, however,
(48:28):
too late, for that Smurch had leaked the Atlantic and
then the Pacific as if they were mill ponds. At
three minutes after two o'clock on the afternoon of July seven,
the garage boy brought his idiotic plane into Roosevelt Field
for a perfect three point landing. It had, of course
been out of the question to arrange a modest little
(48:50):
reception for the greatest flyer in the history of the world.
He was received at Roosevelt Field, with such elaborate and
pretentious ceremonies, has rocked the world. Fortunately, however, the warren
and spent hero promptly swung, had to be removed bodily
from his plane, and was spirited from the field without
having opened his mouth once. Thus he did not jeopardize
(49:12):
the dignity of his first reception, a reception illumined by
the presence of the Secretaries of War and the Navy,
Mayor Michael J. Moriarty of New York, the Premier of Canada.
Governor's phantomen grows mcpheeley and Critchfield in a brilliant array
of European diplomats. Smirch did not, in fact come to
in time to take part in the gigantic hullabaloo arranged
(49:35):
at City Hall for the next day. He was rushed
to a secluded nursing home and confined in bed. It
was nine days before he was able to get up, or,
to be more exact, before he was permitted to get up. Meanwhile,
the greatest minds in the country and Solemn Assembly had
arranged a secret conference of city, state and government officials
(49:57):
which Smirch was to attend for the purpose of being
instructed in the ethics and behavior of heroism. On the
day that the little mechanic was finally allowed to get
up and dress, and, for the first time in two weeks,
took a great chew of tobacco, he was permitted to receive.
The newspaper men this by way of testing him out.
(50:20):
Smirch did not wait for questions. Use guys, he said,
and the Times Man winced. Use guys can tell a
cock eyed world that I put it over on Lindbergh.
See yeah, man, an as said, I'm two frogs. The
two frogs. It was a reference to a pair of
(50:40):
gallant French flyers who, in attempting to flight only halfway
round the world, had two weeks before unhappily been lost
at sea. The Times Man was bold enough at this
point to sketch out for Smirch the accepted formula for
interviews in cases of this kind. He explained that there
should be no arrogant statements belittling the achievements of other heroes,
(51:01):
particularly heroes of foreign nations. Ah to hell with that,
said Smirch. I did it. See I did it, and
I'm talking about it. And he did talk about it.
None of this extraordinary interview was of course printed on
the contrary. The newspapers, already under the discipline direction of
(51:22):
a secret director it created for the occasion, and composed
of statesmen and editors, gave out to a panting and
restless world that Jackie, as he had been arbitrarily nicknamed,
would consent to say only that he was very happy,
and that anyone could have done what he did. My
achievement has been I fear slightly exaggerated. The Times Man's
(51:44):
article had him protest with a modest smile. These newspaper
stories were kept from the hero, a restriction which did
not serve to abate the rising malevolence of his temper.
The situation was indeed extremely grave for pal Smirch was,
as he kept insisting, arn to go. He could not
(52:07):
much longer be kept from a nation clamorous to lionize him.
It was the most desperate crisis the United States of
America had faced since the sinking of the Lusitania. On
the afternoon of the twenty seven of July, Smirch was
spirited away to a conference room in which were gathered mayors, governors,
government officials, behaviorist psychologists, and editors. He gave them each
(52:31):
a limp moist paw, and a brief, unlovely grin Hi,
he said. When Smirch was seated, the Mayor of New
York arose, and, with obvious pessimism, attempted to explain what
he must say and how he must act when presented
to the world, ending his talk with a high tribute
to the hero's courage and integrity. The Mayor was followed
(52:54):
by Governor Fanaman of New York, who, after a touching
declaration of faith, introduced Cameron Spottiswood, second Secretary of the
American Embassy in Paris, the gentleman selected to coach Smirch
in the amenities of public ceremonies. Sitting in a chair
with a soiled yellow tie in his hand and his
shirt open at the throat, unshaved, smoking a rolled cigarette,
(53:18):
Jack Smirch listened with a leer on his lips. I
get you, I get you, he cut in nastily. You
want me to act like a softy huh. You want
me to act like that memony, memny baby face, lind
big huh. Well nuts to that. See. Everyone took in
his breath sharply. It was a sigh and a hiss.
(53:42):
Mr Lindbergh began a United States Senator purple with rage,
and Mr bird Smirch, who was paring his nails with
a jackknife, cut in again. Boyd. He exclaimed, for God's
sake that pick somebody shut off the blasphemies with a
sharp word. A newcomer had entered the word the room.
(54:03):
Everyone stood up except smur who was still busy with
his nails, and he did not even glance up. Mr
Smirch said someone sternly the President of the United States.
It had been thought that the presence of the Chief
Executive might have a chastening effect on the young hero,
and the former had been, thanks to the remarkable co
operation of the press, secretly brought to the obscure conference room.
(54:26):
A great painful silence fell. Smirch looked up, waved a
hand at the President. How are you coming, he asked,
and began rolling a fresh cigarette. The silence deepened. Someone
(54:50):
coughed in a strained way. Jesus's hot, ain't it, said Smirch.
He loosened two more shirt buttons, revealing a hairy chest
and the tattooed word Sadie enclosed in a stenciled heart.
The great and important men in the room, faced by
(55:10):
the most serious crisis in American history, exchanged worried frowns.
Nobody seemed to know how to proceed. Come on, come on,
said Smirch. Let's get the hell outta here. Why do
I start cutting in on the party's uh? And when
is there gonna be this in it? He rubbed a
(55:31):
thumb and forefinger together meaningly, Money, exclaimed a state senator,
shocked Pale. Yeah money, said Pal, flipping his cigarette out
of the window. And big money. He began rolling a
fresh cigarette. Big money, he repeated, Frowning over the rice paper.
(55:51):
He tilted back in his chair and leered at each
gentleman separately, the leer of an animal that knows its power,
the leer of a leopard loose in a bird and
dog shop. For God's sake, Let's get someplace where it's cool,
he said. I've been cooped up plenty for three weeks.
(56:12):
Smirch stood up and walked over to an open window,
where he stood staring down into the street nine floors below.
The faint shouting of newsboys floated up to him. He
made out his name, hot Dog. He cried, grinning ecstatic,
he leaned out over the sill Yo talent babies. He
(56:34):
shouted down, hot diggity dog. In the tense little knot
of men standing behind him, a quick, mad impulse flared up.
An unspoken word of appeal of command seemed to ring
through the room, yet it was deadly silent. Charles K.
L Brand, secretary to the Mayor of New York City,
happened to be standing nearest smirch. He looked inquiringly at
(56:57):
the President of the United States. The President, pale grim
nodded shortly. Brand, a tall, powerfully built man wants to
tackle at Rutgers University, stepped forward, seized the greatest man
in the world by his left shoulder and the seat
of his pants, and pushed him out the window. My god,
he's fallen out the window, cried a quick witted editor.
(57:19):
Get me out of here, cried the President. Several men
sprang to his side, and he was hurriedly escorted out
of a door toward a side entrance of the building.
The editor of the Associated Press took charge. Being used
to such things crisply, he ordered certain men to leave,
others to stay. Quickly. He outlined a story which all
the papers were to agree on. Sent two men to
the street to handle that end of the tragedy, commanded
a Senator to sob and two Congressmen to go to
(57:42):
pieces nervously. In a word, he skillfully set the stage
for the gigantic task that was to follow, the task
of breaking to a grief stricken world the sad story
of the untimely accidental death of its most illustrious and
spectacular figure. The funeral was, as you know, the most elaborate,
(58:07):
the finest, the solemnist, and the saddest ever held in
the United States of America. The monument in Arlington Cemetery,
with its clean white shaft of marble and the simple
device of a tiny plane carved on its base, is
a place for pilgrims in deep reverence to visit. The
(58:30):
nations of the world paid lofty tributes to Little Jackie Smirch,
America's greatest hero. At a given hour, there were two
minutes of silence throughout the nation. Even the inhabitants of
the small bewildered town of Westfield, Iowa, observed this touching ceremony.
Agents of the Department of Justice sought at that one
(58:53):
of them was especially assigned to stand grimly in the
doorway of a little shack restaurant on the edge of
the tourists camping ground just outside the town. They are
under his stern scrutiny. Mrs Emma Smirch bowed her head
over to hamburger stakes sizzling on her grill. Bowed her
(59:13):
head and turned away so that the secret serviceman could
not see the twisted, strangely familiar leer on her lips.
The Greatest Man in the World by James Thurber. I've
(59:45):
done all the damage I can do here. Thank you
for listening The Greatest Man in the World. If you're
not following or subscribing to the podcast, please do so.
Among other things, if there are special editions between now
and the next scheduled Countdown on December twenty nine, you
will know automatically. Here are the credits. Most of the music,
including our the from Beethoven's Ninth was arranged, produced, and
(01:00:07):
performed by Brian Ray and John Philip Shanelle, who are
the Countdown musical directors. All orchestration and keyboards by John
Philip Chanelle. Guitars, bass and drums by Brian Ray. Produced
by t k O Brothers. Other Beethoven selections have been
arranged and performed by the group No Horns Allowed. The
sports music is the Olberman theme from ESPN two and
it was written by Mitch Warren Davis courtesy of ESPN, Inc.
(01:00:30):
Musical comments by Nancy Faust. The best baseball stadium organist ever.
Our announcer today from our rotating cast of celebrity announcers
was the great friend of mine, John Dean. Everything else
was pretty much my fault. So that's the one episode
of the Countdown podcast for this the seven and fifteenth
day since Donald Trump's first attempted coup against the democratically
(01:00:53):
elected government of the United States. Arrest him now while
we still can. I'm Keith Allerman. Good Morning, good afternoon, goodnight,
good luck, and Merry Christmas. M Countdown with Keith Alderman
(01:01:15):
is a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts
from I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Countdown with Keith Olberman is a production of I Heart Radio.
This is Sports Center. Wait check that not anymore. This
(00:29):
is Countdown with Keith. You are hearing right. We're starting
in sports because of breaking news, two extraordinary stories that
happened overnight. Then we'll go to Trump and Tuesday's developments.
That mean if he was waiting for just the right
time to flee the country, that moment is now. First
(00:49):
baseball free agent Carlos Korea, this time Tuesday, on his
way to a press conference to sign with the San
Francisco Giants, has instead signed overnight with the New York Mets.
The free agent and the Giants had agreed to a
three and fifty million dollar contract to run through the
season of twenty thirty four. They scheduled a news conference
(01:11):
for eleven am Pacific Yesterday. At eight fifteen am Pacific,
the Giants postponed the news conference. Then they postponed Korea's
scheduled appearance on the team's flagship radio station. It was
widely reported something turned up in Korea's physical that caused
the Giants to hesitate, and over which they and Korea
and his people disagreed, and the Giants wanted a second opinion.
(01:34):
New York and the baseball world awoke to news that
Korea too had a second opinion. He wasn't waiting around.
He signed with the Mets overnight for one year less
and only about six hundred and fifty thousand less a year,
three hundred and fifteen million for twelve years instead of
three hundred and fifty million for thirteen years, and he
(01:55):
will switch from shortstop to third base in New York.
It is stunning because yeah, teams back out of trades
and contracts all the time. Just looking at the Mets.
In one they selected the picture Kumar Rocker out of
Vanderbilt with the tenth pick of the amateur draft. Then
they got a look at his physical and they didn't
sign him. Six years earlier, they had traded infielder Wilmer
(02:17):
Florists to Milwaukee for outfielder Carlos Gomez. News of the
trade leaked out during a game. Flora's found out. He
began to weep on the field during play, the fans
rose in emotional standing ovations. Then Gomez failed his Mets physical,
the deal was called off. The Mets instead traded for
(02:37):
Joenna Cespitas, and he and the untraded Flores led them
to the World Series of two thousand fifteen. But what's
bizarre here is this got to within two hours and
forty five minutes of Carlos Carea and the San Francisco
Giants announcing their deal at a press conference. I was
flashed back and my flashbacks are a theme for today's
(03:00):
podcast to the story of Bob Donal Wald and assist
in basketball coach at Indiana University under Bobby Knight. Donna
Wald accepted the job as the head coach of Brown
University in and flew to Rhode Island. But on the
way to the press conference at Brown at the end
of March seventy eight, Dona Wald changed his mind. He
(03:23):
got out of the car and he told Brown's athletic
director he would just walk to the airport and go
back to Indiana. He later coached for a couple of
colleges in the Midwest. Carlos Korea is of course, not
officially a New York met The deal is pending physical
and obviously the completion of the press conference. There is
(03:47):
another breaking sports story from overnight Tuesday Wednesday, and it
is nowhere near as happy Football Hall of Famer Frank
O'harris of Penn State and the Pittsburgh Steelers has died
at the age of seventy two. He was the most
Valuable player of Super Bowl nine. In all, he won
four Super Bowls in Pittsburgh, but he will always be
remembered for one play, and that's what makes this extraordinary.
(04:09):
In the final thirty seconds of the nineteen seventy two
a FC Divisional playoff game against the Raiders, Terry Branshaw
passed the Steeler running back John Frenchie Fuqua. The ball
bounced off defender Jack Tatum, or it bounced off Tatum
and Fuqua and into Harris's hands and he ran it
in for the game winning touchdown that kept the Steelers
(04:30):
playoff hopes alive. Or it bounced only off Fuqua, or
it bounced off the turf. Both of those would have
made it an incomplete pass and a dead ball and
no touchdown. The officials during the game in real time
seemed to disagree over the call, but ultimately Harris was
granted the touchdown and the Steelers were granted the victory.
(04:52):
There was no video replay in nineteen seventy two. Nor
frankly Is any of the video or film conclusive even today,
even from people who've seen it thousands of times. F Anko.
Harris is passing is obviously a tragedy to his family
and his fans and his sport. But what elevates this
story to almost unbelievable as this That play occurred on
(05:15):
December twenty three, two, the fiftieth anniversary of the so
called Immaculate Reception, is this Friday. On Saturday, the Steelers
were to celebrate that anniversary and retire Frank o'harris's uniform
number thirty two, only the third number retirement in their
(05:36):
franchise history. That ceremony will go on as scheduled, but
it will turn from celebration to memorial. Tens of millions
(05:58):
of dollars in these returns that were claimed without adequate
substantiation What he is in Trump's tax returns, per Congressman
Lloyd Dogga to Texas after the House Ways and Means
Committee voted to release them last night, next to no
receipts for deductions, He says, no data, no evidence in fact,
(06:20):
that the I R S ever completed an audit of
Trump while he was president, which would itself be a
violation of its own policy, because all presidents are required
to be audited while in office. No evidence that it
even began an audit until the committee asked for Trump's returns,
and of course the I can't release them. I'm being audited.
(06:43):
Thing has been the fig leaf behind which Trump has
hidden his taxes since at least two thousand fifteen. When
they are all out there, there will be six years
of them, plus the returns of eight businesses affiliated with Trump.
It is al capone time, it is evidence. My point
(07:05):
here yesterday was that it was the evidence the January
six Committee had presented and not the criminal referrals that mattered.
And now punch Bowl News is reporting that the Committee
is sending Special Counsel Jack Smith It's evidence, all of
its evidence, all of Mark Meadows texts, transcripts of its
interviews with many of its one thousand different witnesses, especially
(07:29):
the ones who testified about the John Eastman fake collector scheme.
They started shipping last week, just in time for Christmas.
Prior to Counsel Smith's letter to the House Committee Chairman
Benny Thompson on December five, the Committee had been hesitant
to send its raw materials but apparently that has changed
and changed completely. The Hope Hicks text Smith the I
(07:53):
told Trump to tweet about not being violent Monday and
Tuesday before the insurrection Wednesday, and he refused Monday and
Tuesday text. Get that Smith, get it framed. I am
still suffering from Mueller PTSD, and I'm still not fully
convinced that Jack Smith's appointment might not still be just
(08:14):
another delay to run out the clock because too many
in government from both parties still believe the purpose of
their jobs is to protect anybody who will ever hold
their jobs from accountability, let alone prosecution. But this is
slightly encouraging. Meanwhile, the committee may have produced evidence of
yet another crime. I also mentioned this yesterday. There is
(08:36):
new evidence of another cover up of obstruction of justice
relative to the January six committee itself. The committee revealed
yesterday that a witness revealed her attorney told her she
could get away with not correcting her testimony even though
she thought it was incomplete. That she was told that
saying she couldn't recall was fine even if she could recall.
(09:00):
Last night, CNN identified the witness and the attorney. It
is none other than the former Trump Oval Office aide,
Cassidy Hutchinson, and the lawyer who we may soon be
able to call the ex lawyer, the one who told
her that, per the CNN report, is named Stefan Pasentino,
and Stephen Pasentino also worked in the Trump White House.
(09:23):
As believe it or not, the Presidential Ethics attorney. Now,
what he did might be illegal, but at least it
was truthful. What else would you expect from the Trump
ethics attorney. The Associated Press, meantime, hit another angle to
the committee hearing, and today the committee is expected to
(09:43):
release its full report. In short, the AP noting it's quiet.
It's too quiet. For all the damning words about Trump
on Monday, almost no Republicans said a thing. In his defense.
The AP reminds us that after the mari Lago documents search,
Mitch McConnell demanded quote an immediate and thorough explanation from
(10:04):
the FBI. But about the January six committees metaphorical impaling
of Trump, McConnell said, only the entire nation knows who
is responsible for that day. Even Josh Hawley, running man,
who demanded Merritt Garland resign after mari Lago, said nothing
about the Committee's criminal referrals on Trump. The News service
(10:26):
could get only one prominent Republican to go on the
record in defensive Trump on Monday, the Hapless Opportunist the
Least Stephanaic of New York. She called the committee unconstitutional
and illegitimate, but even she said nothing to suggest Trump
had been somehow maligned by it. Bigger picture last night,
(10:47):
one Republican senators voted to proceed on the omnibus spending bill,
even while the Republican House was railing against it. That
preliminary vote passed seventy five, and the bill includes the
Bipartisan Electoral Count Reform and Presidential Transition Improvement Act, which
(11:07):
would clean up the fuzziness of the original Electoral Count
Act of eight seven. Specifically, this one would specify that
the vice president's role in counting electors he is completely ceremonial.
It would also override potential variants of the Eastman plan
at the state level, requiring governors to certify only those
electors who match up with the popular vote in their states.
(11:31):
Would also smooth processes to challenge Eastman electoral slates in
the courts. As the impeccable Greg Sergeant of the Washington
Post put it, the GOP is quietly trump proofing our
system behind his back. Unfortunately, the omnibus buill does not
include a measure proposed to neutralize Schedule F, the plan
(11:52):
which would let Trump or any president fire all career
bureaucrats civil service staffers and replace them with political flunkeys.
And if you haven't seen it, There was also a
Washington Post column yesterday echoing what is now about a
dozen similar suggestions that have floated out of the far
right as the prospect rose again something mentioned here yesterday
(12:14):
of just what the trial of Donald Trump would look like.
That looming reality has forced conservatives to find an emergency
exit somewhere so that a Trump on trial would not
take them down with him. Their proposal the Agnew option.
If you are not old enough to have lived through this, Hi,
(12:35):
how are you Spiro? Ted Agnew. Richard Nixon's first vice president,
corrupted everything he touched except the Visiting Nurse Association. He
reportedly took cash bribes as governor of Maryland and cash
bribes in the White House as vice president. Rather than
put him on trial, but Justice Department offered him and
(12:57):
the Nixon administration a deal, a no contest plea to
one charge of violating federal X laws, a ten dollar fine,
his resignation as vice president, and his permanent retirement from
public office. Not that Trump would do this, but it
is clear conservatives are coalescing around the idea that if
(13:19):
justice dropped everything that could actually put Trump in jail
or required a trial, and simply asked for something like
a guilty plea on insurrection and an acknowledgement that section
three of the fourteenth Amendment would preclude Trump from seeking
office again because he had pleaded guilty to insurrection, we
would then be spared another long national nightmare. My first
(13:41):
thought was, sure, but couldn't Trump transfer his cult to
his son or some other derelict human being. On the
other hand, if he was convicted of everything from the
taxes to try and to overthrow the government, and he
had to spend the rest of his life in a
super max prison somewhere, couldn't Trump transfer his cult to
(14:04):
his son or some other derelict human being, like say
Congressman elect George Santos of New York. The chairman of
the Nassau County Republicans, has even said now that the
fact that Santos apparently made up everything about his resume
except his birthdate is quote serious, and the Democrat he
(14:27):
beat has called for Santos to resign. Of more relevance
silence from those whom Santos could take down with him,
the Republicans who loudly endorsed him and now look complicit
in the fraud. Among them longtime moderate New York Republican
Governor George Pataki, Republican candidate for Governor of New York
(14:48):
Lee's Elden, Congresswoman Stephanic, the Nassau County Police Benevolent Association,
the New York Post newspaper, Congressman Ronnie Jackson of Texas,
and best of all of all those who endorse this idiot,
the presumptive Speaker of the House, Kevin McCarthy. And all
(15:09):
day yesterday I kept thinking of just one thing. They
helped George Santos, George Santos, they helped him. George Santos helpers,
Santos helpers, Santos helper, Santos L helper, Santos L helper.
(15:37):
If you know, you know so, it's that time again
for the daily roundup of the miscrants, morons, and Dunning
Krueger effects specimens who constitute today's worst persons in the
(15:59):
world Lebronze. The website media It higher an idiot named
Isaac Shore away from the Conservative National Review. One of
his first stories for mediaite was about the Elon Musk
Twitter suspensions. Shore wrote that one of the victims of
Musk's rage was quote John Mastodon, the founder of a
(16:23):
competing social media company named after himself. I'll just repeat that,
John Mastodon, the founder of a competing social media company
named after himself. Of course, what it said in the
tweet was joined Mastodon. This kid, sure, like all standard conservatives,
(16:43):
didn't understand something and instead of asking or grown up,
he just made up whatever sounded good to him. John Mastodon.
My family name is Mastodon. This over here, this is
my cousin stand Elephant. No, we're not related to the
former head of the European Union, Donald Tusk. John mastad
(17:04):
On our runner up. Speaking of Mastodon's. James Dolan the
owner of Madison Square Garden, the New York Knicks the
New York Rangers. He has rivals to be the worst
owner in sports and entertainment, but not when it comes
to hands on pettiness. A woman named Kelly Conlin says
(17:25):
she took her daughter to Radio City in New York,
which Dolan and Madison Square Garden also own. They were
part of a girl Scout group going to see the
Rocketts and their Christmas spectacular, which, by the way, is
advertised here in New York approximately every seventy three seconds. Anyway,
they went through the metal detectors at Radio City, which
(17:47):
is when she was stopped by security and told she
could not enter the facility. They let her daughter go
in with the other Scout moms, but Ms Conlin says
they told her that facial recognition technology had identified her
and she was not permitted to enter because is she
works for a New Jersey based law firm representing somebody
(18:08):
who had a personal injury lawsuit against the restaurant that
is somehow part of Madison Square Garden. Conlin can't figure
this out. The lawsuit is being handled by her firm's
New York office. She works in Jersey. She's got nothing
to do with it. Yet. A spokesman for MSG confirms
nobody working for that law firm is admitted to see
(18:28):
the Rockettes, the Rangers, or the Knicks. Given how Jim
Dolan has driven the Rockets, the Rangers and the Knicks
into the ground. It could have been worse for Ms Conlin.
They could have led her in, But our winner, Sean Hannity,
the folks at TPM Talking Points Memo phoned him about
his role in the insurrection, texts of the former chief
(18:51):
of staff for Trump, Mark Meadows. Hannity's reply, number one,
You're not allowed to get my number. You knew the
rules and you're bidden care. Let me translate that into English.
Number one, You're not allowed to get my number. You
knew the rules and you didn't care. Yes, I believe
it's a law, a federal law eighteen US Code three
(19:12):
three seven. Anybody getting Sean Hannity's phone number is subject
to a penalty of not more than seven hours in
a holding cell with Greg Gutfeld. You're not allowed to
get my number. I was flashed back. I've been having
a lot of these flashbacks lately, Doctor to Hannity's old
Fox colleague Bill O'Reilly. Bill O'Reilly used to have a
(19:35):
radio show too, before the Lufa's and the Falafels of
history caught up with him. One day, a provocateur called
in identified himself as Mike, and he told Billow quote,
I'd like to listen to you during the day and
I think Keith Olberman show, at which point O'Reilly disconnected
the call and went into a tirade. Mike is he's
(19:57):
a gone guy. You know, we we have your phone numbers,
by the way, So if you're listening, Mike, we have
your phone number and we're going to turn it over
to Fox Security and you'll be getting a little visit.
Mike is going to get in big trouble because we're
not gonna play around when you call us ladies and gentlemen.
Just so you know, we do have your phone number,
(20:17):
and if you say anything untoward up scene or anything
like that, Fox Security will contact your local authorities. Dill
o'reiley believed that Fox could send the cops to punish
people callers who said things he didn't like on his
radio show, just like Hannity thinks you're not allowed to
(20:39):
get his phone number. It always pleased me that when
they finally fired Bill O'Reilly after the three thousand harassment
case or whatever it was, Billow was escorted out of
the Fox headquarters down the street from me by Fox security, Sean,
you're not allowed to get my number. Watch yourself, I
have facial recognition. To Hannity, Today's worst person in the World.
(21:20):
Still ahead on Countdown, the rumor within NBC universal that
things are going so badly at MSNBC that they may
sell it or shutter it. I had another one of
those flashbacks. I went back to the day in two
thousand nine when things are going so well at MSNBC
that they actually wanted to sell it or shutter it
because the chairman's mother was a fan of Fox News.
(21:40):
No seriously. First, in each edition of Countdown, we feature
a dog in need you can help. Every dog has
its day. Two things to mention. First, it is unbelievable.
There are now twenty seven dogs on the kill list
at the New York City Pound. The NYC a c
C Happy Holidays, reminding you of Elaine Boosler's offer to
cover ordinary expenses for a year if you save one
(22:03):
of them by adopting their bios on my Twitter feed
for dogs. Also, though, a big shepherd named Grizzly arrived
just last Thursday in the pound at DeVore, California. He's
five years old, injured, They're already ready to kill him
because he's acting stressed as if they deliberately can't understand
cause and effect. Pledges to help a rescue group save
Grizzly are urgently needed. My tweet about him is also
(22:26):
at tom Jumbo Grumbo on Twitter. I thank you, and
Grizzly thanks you. This is Countdown with Keith Olberman. So
(22:48):
a programming announcement. Now, this is the planned holiday schedule.
I am taking the next week off and we will
be back with a new episode next Thursday, that is December.
If in the interim something else happens, like Elon Musk
being the planet, or Trump getting frog marched at Marilago
(23:09):
or whatever, of course I will put out a special
edition and if you are subscribing to this it will
download automatically on your device. You should excuse the expression.
So now to the number two story on the Countdown
on my favorite topic, me and things I promised not
to tell. And this is not the anniversary of this event,
and in fact happened over the summer, but I was
(23:30):
reminded of it yesterday when somebody who knows told me
that things are going so poorly at NBC News that
one of the things floating around NBC Universal corporate management
half seriously at this point is to sell, among other things,
MSNBC or just close MSNBC down. That rang a few bells,
(23:54):
so here goes. Often it happens in television that there
are events so traumatic that the cliche about your life
flashing before your eyes does not apply, but an equally
hackneyed one about your career flashing before your eyes might.
The executive producer of our MSNBC newscast Countdown, Izzy Povich,
(24:15):
and I were on the grown up elevator to the
office of NBC President Jeff Zucker on the fifty second
floor of thirty Rock in New York, Summoned there by
some garbled message from MSNBC president Phil Griffin about MSNBC
being taken off the air, I was mumbling to Izzy,
sundry imprecations and reminiscences, eight freaking months is we spent
(24:39):
twelve freaking months forcing them to create meadows showed last
eight months, all the crap prompter practice, getting her over
her fears, rockets past CNN only eight months of show
and now it's all gone. Izzy reminded me it was
not just Rachel's show that was threatened, which was why
poor Court Harson from Hardball was already upstairs along with
(25:00):
poor Ed Schultz and Phil Griffin at Rachel's execut at,
a producer, Bill Wolf, and some clown from Morning Joe,
and a couple of other MSNBC executives and us. I know,
I know, I did the line from the drunken Irishman
from Hitchcock's The Birds, complete with the bad accent. It's
the end of the world, I said, Jeff Emil is
(25:22):
going to take MSNBC off the air. I didn't need
any of my overwrought visions from two years earlier of
the future of liberal news commentary falling out the NBC
window to its death on the rink. This was the
real thing. The chairman of General Electric was threatening to
open the window himself, throw us out the window himself,
(25:43):
and then race down to the pavement to stomp on
our dying remains himself. Poor Ed Schultz heard Jeff Zucker
say those words, and he had screwed up his face
and tilted his head like a puppy hearing a car crash.
He had not believed it the first time. He had
not believed it the second time. Zucker said it a
(26:03):
third time. Emilt going to take MSNBC off the ff
ing air at, Schultz groaned. After weeks of Griffin's coaxing,
he had finally just moved from Nebraska to New York
the preceding weekend, yet he was still, somehow only the
second most strung out person in the room. You, Zucker,
shouted at me, You're the smartest one in the room.
(26:26):
What the f do we do now? I'll confess I
was shaken by this because it appeared for once that
Zucker was not being sarcastic. I had never before seen
him flush nor flustered. This was a guy who wore
fleece in July. Now he was beat red and sweating.
Sometimes he knew what he was doing, and, as his
(26:46):
opposition to hiring Mattow had proved, sometimes he didn't know
what he was doing. But he always acted as the
most confident man in the galaxy. But now he literally
had no clue what to do next. And he not
only could not ignore my advice, he desperately needed it.
This situation and that color on his case. We're almost
worth watching the corporate fascists nuke my network, I asked
(27:10):
the sucker, to explain what happened. You God, Dad, well
know what happened. Zucker moved towards me, and I stood
up and I told him I would see myself out.
He stopped, remembering that he did indeed actually need my help.
I'm sorry, I apologize. This isn't rational, this is this
is I melt. Last week sometime Bill O'Reilly snapped. He
told Murdach he wasn't gonna take any more of what
(27:32):
you were saying about him on the air. So he
did a piece last night accusing GE of manufacturing the
components that been used in roadside bombs that were built
in a rand to kill Americans in Iraq, which is
which is true? Legally, that's legally true. They found roadside
bombs that had like thirty year old GE transistors or
or TV tubes from nineteen fifty four or is something
(27:54):
in them? Legally, g E did manufacture components that were
used in roadside bombs that were built in I ran
to kill Americans in Iraq. So O'Reilly puts this on
his fffing show as a last story, and then Fox
sent two camera crews in this little crap. Producer from
a Riley Show, Jesse water something to stake Immilt out
(28:14):
and chase him around the GE shareholders meeting in Charlotte.
Zucker finally came up for air, and I jumped in,
why didn't m L have six camera crews to stake
out the two Fox crews and chase them around in Charlotte?
I mean, isn't that one of our news hubs Charlotte
doesn't m L own like twenty camera crews? There? He
bring a camera crew, you'll bring two camera crews. Zucker
(28:38):
started to not like me again. Now you suggest that
where were you in al I never mind, it doesn't matter.
mL says, if there's one more story on Bill O'Reilly
about GE manufacturing components for roadside bombs inter rack, he's
taking MSNBC off the air immediately. It'll just be twenty
four hours of lock up. And I'm fired and you're fired.
(28:59):
And then he pointed at Chris Matthews, producer, and Matthews
is fired. And he pointed at poor Ed Sheltz and
you're are fired, and Ed whimpered, so smart asked, what
the f do we do? I feigned all the nonchalance
I could feign if I could have lit a shroot
by striking a match on the soul of my boot.
I would have it's manageable. But Jeff, why is mL
(29:23):
so worked up about what O'Reilly said about him? Only
O'Reilly's nutjob viewers actually believe any of that crap. Nobody
had GE, nobody investing in GE could possibly believe we're
building components for roadside bombs. Zucker inhaled deeply. M L's
mother believes it. All the heads in the room turned
(29:45):
toward the president of NBC. Mrs m L back in
Cincinnati is a devoted Bill O'Reilly viewer watches him every night,
sees this, calls him, says, Sonny, why are you manufacturing
components that were used in roadside bombs built in a
rand to kill Americans in Iraq? I had not expected that,
(30:07):
I said to Zooker. So so he'll really burn what
two million a year in profits just between Rachel and me?
Because he's mom watches Bill O'Reilly. Zucker got angry again.
You bet your effing ass he will now you said
it was manageable. How how the he do we manage it? Ulverman,
just a minute, how old is she? Zucker summoned all
(30:31):
his annoyance. How old is who m ELTs mother? How
old is she? Jeff Zucker was really annoyed. How the
eff should I know? You're missing the point? I had
him really worked up, nearly to the boiling point. It
was great, guess, Zucker spluttered, I don't know. He's in
his mid fifties. She's gotta be eighty nineties something. I
(30:55):
stifled to fake yawn. Yeah, you're right, probably closer to
ninety now that I think of it. So the problem
is she watches O'Reilly. She tells him what's on Fox?
What O'Reilly saying about Ge? Well, I think you have
a simple solution. I'd say the first thing you do
is you send over a couple of big guys to
her house and you pull the freaking cable out of
(31:17):
the wall. Zucker actually gasped. My producer, is Hepovich unsuccessfully
stifled a laugh, and I saw Rachel crack a smile.
Zucker regained himself. This isn't funny, Alderman, I crossed my legs. Oh,
it's a little funny. And anyway, it's not essential. If
the problem is email is threatening to take the network
(31:37):
off there because O'Reilly is avenging himself against me by
attacking him and attacking ge. The short term solution is easy,
and in fact, it is manageable. The long term solution
that's not easy, and that's not manageable. But the short
term one that's simple. Rest of this week, next week,
maybe the week after that, even we just don't mention
(31:57):
Fox News on MSNBC. Something resembling a smile crossed Zooker
his face. It made him look a little less like
a lizard person and more like a monkey with glasses.
You do that forever? No, not forever. I would not
do that, I said to Bias time. Yes, but remember
(32:20):
who was it who was in my office last winter
telling me that I should go on the air and
and just to f with Fox? I should ask why
Rupert Murdoch was still running a huge international media company
like News Corp, despite all the reports that he's suffering
from dementia, even though there haven't been any reports that
he's suffering from dementia. For everybody's sake, here, who was
(32:40):
that again who told me to do that? Zuker's goodwill
was gone again? Obviously that was me. What's your point?
My point is, we built this new brand of ours organically,
and a couple of themes, a couple of statements of principle,
and one of them is to use your words just
to f with Fox. If we don't f with Fox
(33:02):
for a couple of weeks at the start of the summer,
who is gonna care. Who's gonna notice? But like after
two weeks, three weeks, our viewers are gonna notice, and
the TV writers are gonna notice, and then the crap
will hit from every direction. You can think of temporary
freeze on mentioning Fox, then mentioning O'Reilly and mentioning Murdock. Fine,
permanent freeze. Might as well let him l turn us
(33:25):
off in the morning. After all, I don't think Zucker
actually heard the last part about him turning us off.
After all, the lack of color was returning to his face. Okay, breathe,
he kept saying to himself. Breathe, breathe, Okay, breathe. He
looked at me and nodded. He pointed at Izzy and
at Phil Griffin and me, you and you and you
(33:47):
and I will we will talk tomorrow, maybe tonight, and
we'll all meet again next week. Until then, nothing about Fox, anybody,
Are we clear? Nothing on the air about Fox. Silence
in the room, Then the assorted noises of people rising,
mixed with attempts to resuscitate poor Ed Schultz. Somebody Matthew's guy,
Harson I think, was almost at the door out of
(34:09):
Zooker's office, an office so big that it was to
steal the Ring Lardner line, the size of the Yale Bowl,
but with lamps. And then a voice spoke up, quietly
but firmly, Excuse me. It was Rachel Maddow. Excuse me.
I will not have the content of my show dictated
by any corporations, including the one I work for. Remember
(34:33):
this is June two nine. She still felt that way then,
and especially one I don't work for. I will walk
out first. I cannot have the audience wondering what else
I have not told them. I don't do a lot
about Fox on my show, but if there is a
story about Fox, I will not honor this freeze. I
will report that story. And if I'm prevented from reporting
that story, I will leave. Whereupon she left, Zucker barked
(34:55):
Phil all Rouman, is he stay? When the rest of
the room had cleared, Zucker blew air out of his
mouth as if it were smoke. He gestured violently at
me with his right arm. I told you she was
a mistake. You didn't listen to me. I told you.
Now she's your problem. All this is your problem. Get
her back on the reservation or else. Now I had
(35:16):
run out of goodwill and jokes. Oh, I'll get her
back on the reservation, Jeff. But if you think this
is my problem, just think about what happens if he
really does take us off the air, or if it
just gets out that he threatened to take us off
the air because his mother didn't like what Fox said
(35:38):
about him. That's my problem. Uh, that's your problem. And
it's the problem of the CEO of the freaking sixth
largest corporation in the world, who makes his business decisions
involving hundreds of millions of dollars of profits based on
what his mother says. At this point, Phil Griffin managed
(36:01):
to pull Zooker away, and Izzy and I made for
the door, saying nothing until we were in the elevator. Finally,
she asked, what are you going to do about Rachel?
I looked straight ahead. I have depth reception issues while
traveling forward, backwards, up or down the I I know
what I'm gonna do about her, but I got an idea.
I mean, the only person she was really talking to
(36:22):
in there was herself. This isn't a brand new surprise
success for her anymore. This is successful. This is what
nine ten months she's successful. She said she was once
a dancing cell phone outside of cell phone store outside
of Boston. She ain't going back to that. I went
to talk to Rachel about an hour later and reassured her.
(36:43):
I mentioned that powerful as Fox was, they were not
going to be able to re invade Iraq by themselves,
and unless she moved it way closer than it had been,
nobody would cross her censorship line. And I said, just
give me as much time as the French government took
before fleeing during the Nazi advance in n I said,
give me, what was it, thirty three days? Give me
(37:05):
thirty three days. If we aren't back where we were
this morning, we can both quit on the air. I
mean that would be fun, right. Three nights later, well
after midnight on a Friday, my NBC issued BlackBerry buzzed
with a quick email from Rachel Maddow. Hey, she wrote,
don't necessarily quote me because I'm really drunk, but just
(37:26):
make the best deal you can for us. I trust you.
We don't need to do Fox all the time. I
never do Fox stories anyway. I just had to say that,
and this is the best platform we will ever have.
Well she was right, at least for the time being.
A couple of weeks later, I had to sneak in
a script that blasted Fox, and at ten thirty at
home that night, I got a call from a drunken
(37:46):
Phil Griffin shouting into the phone, I have a family.
Zooker had to go meet with Roger Ales secretly inside
thirty Rock and I hope they remember to clean the
room afterwards. And m l even had to meet with Murdoch.
And then, happily, some idiot g executive decided to boast
to The New York Times about getting us little talent
(38:09):
children under control and a big deal with the executives
over at Fox and how they'd settled everything, which blew
up the whole deal instantly, because the moment the deal
went public, NBC looked so stupid, and even NBC News
was now risked. The only point of the whole thing
was to keep the Immelts and the Zookers and the
(38:29):
Griffins and the Ailes is from throwing us and our
little island of liberal commentary out of that window at
thirty Rock. But as Rachel Maddow and I would be
constantly reminded in the ensuing years, thirty Rock has a
lot of freaking windows. So that the day they almost
(38:56):
threw all of us out the window at thirty Rock
because Jeff Immelts mommy was a big bill O'Reilly fan,
that flash me back to that imagery out the window,
and that is what we will close the countdown with,
possibly James Thurber's most cutting, most prophetic story of American
(39:16):
fame without character, American adoration without any redeeming qualities. It
foretold everybody from Joe McCarthy to Donald Trump to Kanye West,
the greatest men in the world next to the master
(39:44):
the work of James Thurber. There is a short film
of this story. I don't think it really does it justice.
I don't think anything does it justice. Occasionally, real life
does do it justice. I've thought I've seen this story
playing out in real time in this country almost every
day for about seven years years. Sit back and relax,
(40:08):
if relaxes the right word for it for the Greatest
Man in the World by James Thurber. Looking back on
it now from the vantage point of nineteen forty, one
can only marvel that it had not happened long before
it did. The United States of America had been ever
since Kittie Hawk blindly constructing the elaborate petard by which,
(40:33):
sooner or later it must be hoist. It was inevitable
that someday there would come, roaring out of the skies
a national hero of insufficient intelligence, background, and character, successfully
to endure the mounting orgies of glory prepared for aviators
who stayed up for a long time or flew a
great distance. Both Lindberg and Bird, fortunately for national decorum
(40:59):
and international amity, had been gentleman. So had our other
famous aviators. They wore their laurels gracefully, withstood the awful
weather of publicity, married excellent women, usually fine family, and
quietly retired to private life and the enjoyment of their
varying fortunes. No untoward incidents on a worldwide scale marred
(41:21):
the perfection of their conduct on the perilous heights of fame.
The exception to the rule was, however, bound to occur,
and it did in July ninety seven when Jack Pal
Smirch erstwhile mechanics helper in a small garage in Westfield, Iowa,
(41:42):
flew a second hand, single notored breast Haven Dragonfly three
monoplane all the way around the world without stopping. Never
before in the history of aviation had such a flight
as Smirches even been dreamed of. No one had even
taken seriously the weird floating auxiliary gas tanks invention of
(42:05):
the mad New Hampshire professor of astronomy, Dr Charles Lewis Gresham,
upon which Smirch placed full reliance. When the garage worker,
slightly built, surly unprepossessing young men of twenty two appeared
at Roosevelt Field early in July n slowly chewing a
great quid of scrap tobacco, and announced nobody ain't seen
(42:29):
no flying yet. The newspapers touched briefly and satirically upon
his projected twenty five thousand mile flight. Aeronauticle and automotive
experts dismissed the idea, curtly, implying that it was a hoax.
The publicity stunt. The rusty battered second hand plane wouldn't go.
(42:51):
The Gresham auxiliary tanks wouldn't work. It was simply a
cheap joke. Smirch. However, after calling on a girl in
Brooklyn who worked in the flap folding department of a
large paper box factory, a girl whom he later described
as his sweet but duty climbed nonchalantly into his ridiculous
(43:15):
plane at dawn the memorable seventh of July, n spit
a curve of tobacco juice into the still air, and
took off, carrying with him only a gallon of bootleg
gin and six pounds of salami. When the garage boy
thundered out over the ocean, the papers were forced to
(43:35):
record in all seriousness that a mad, unknown young man
his name was variously misspelled, had actually set out upon
a preposterous attempt to span the world in a rickety
one engine contraption, trusting to the long distance refueling device
of a crazy school master. When nine days later, without
(43:56):
having stopped once, the tiny plane appeared above San Francisco Bay,
headed for New York, spluttering and choking, to be sure,
but still magnificent and miraculously aloft the headlines which long
since had crowded everything else off the front page. Even
the shooting of the Governor of Illinois by the Valetti
Gang swelled to unprecedented size, and the news stories began
(44:18):
to run to twenty five and thirty columns. It was noticeable, however,
that the accounts of the epoch making flight touched rather
lightly upon the aviator himself. This was not because the
facts about the hero as a man were too meager,
but because they were too complete. Reporters who had been
(44:44):
rushed out to Iowa when Smirch's plane was first sighted
over the ledge Lord French coast town of sair Lee
Lemaire to dig up the story of the great man's life,
had promptly discovered that the story of his life could
not be printed. His mother, a sullen short order cook
in a shack restaurant on the edge of a tourist's
camping ground near Westfield, met all inquiries as to her
(45:06):
son with an angry and the hell with him help
he drowns. His father appeared to be in jail somewhere
for stealing spotlights and lap robes from tourists automobiles. His
young brother, a weak minded lad, had but recently escaped
from the Preston, Iowa Reformatory, and was already wanted in
several Western towns where the theft of money order blanks
(45:28):
from post offices. These alarming discoveries were still piling up
at the very time that Pal Smirch, the greatest hero
of the twentieth century, blear eyed, dead for sleep, half starved,
was piloting his crazy junk heap high above the region
in which the lamentable story of his private life was
being unearthed, headed for New York and a greater glory
(45:50):
than any man of his time had ever known. The
necessity for printing some account in the papers of the
young man's career and personality had led to a remarkable
predict of It was, of course, impossible to reveal the facts,
for a tremendous popular feeling in favor of the young
(46:11):
hero had sprung up like a grass fire when he
was halfway across Europe on his flight around the globe.
He was therefore described as a modest, chap taciturn blonde,
popular with his friends, popular with girls. The only available
snapshot of Smirch, taken at the wheel of a phony
automobile in a cheap photo studio at an amusement park
(46:33):
was touched up so that the little vulgarian looked quite handsome.
His twisted leer was smoothed into a pleasant smile. The
truth was in this way kept from the youth's ecstatic compatriots.
They did not dream that the Smirch family was despised
and feared by its neighbors in the obscure Iowa town,
(46:55):
nor that the hero himself, because of numerous unsavory exploits,
had come to be regarded in Westfield as a nuisance
and a menace. Pal Smirch had, the reporters discovered, once
knife the principle of his high school, not mortally, to
be sure, but he had knifed him, and on another occasion,
(47:15):
surprised in the act of an stealing altarcloth from a church,
he had bashed the sexton over the head with a
pot of Easter lilies. For each of these offenses he
had served a sentence in the reformatory. Inwardly, the authorities,
both in New York and in Washington, prayed that an
understanding providence might, however awful, such a thing seemed, bring
(47:40):
disaster to the rusty, battered plane and its illustrious pilot,
who's unheard of flight had aroused the civilized world to
hosannas of hysterical praise. The authorities were convinced that the
character of the renowned aviator was such that the limelight
of adulation was bound to reveal him to all the
world as a congenital hooligan, mentally and morally unequipped to
(48:05):
cope with his own prodigious fame. Trust, said the Secretary
of State, at one of the many secret cabinet meetings
called to consider the national dilemma, a trust that his
mother's prayer will be answered by which he referred to
Mrs Emma's Smirch's wish that her son might be drowned. Was, however,
(48:28):
too late, for that Smurch had leaked the Atlantic and
then the Pacific as if they were mill ponds. At
three minutes after two o'clock on the afternoon of July seven,
the garage boy brought his idiotic plane into Roosevelt Field
for a perfect three point landing. It had, of course
been out of the question to arrange a modest little
(48:50):
reception for the greatest flyer in the history of the world.
He was received at Roosevelt Field, with such elaborate and
pretentious ceremonies, has rocked the world. Fortunately, however, the warren
and spent hero promptly swung, had to be removed bodily
from his plane, and was spirited from the field without
having opened his mouth once. Thus he did not jeopardize
(49:12):
the dignity of his first reception, a reception illumined by
the presence of the Secretaries of War and the Navy,
Mayor Michael J. Moriarty of New York, the Premier of Canada.
Governor's phantomen grows mcpheeley and Critchfield in a brilliant array
of European diplomats. Smirch did not, in fact come to
in time to take part in the gigantic hullabaloo arranged
(49:35):
at City Hall for the next day. He was rushed
to a secluded nursing home and confined in bed. It
was nine days before he was able to get up, or,
to be more exact, before he was permitted to get up. Meanwhile,
the greatest minds in the country and Solemn Assembly had
arranged a secret conference of city, state and government officials
(49:57):
which Smirch was to attend for the purpose of being
instructed in the ethics and behavior of heroism. On the
day that the little mechanic was finally allowed to get
up and dress, and, for the first time in two weeks,
took a great chew of tobacco, he was permitted to receive.
The newspaper men this by way of testing him out.
(50:20):
Smirch did not wait for questions. Use guys, he said,
and the Times Man winced. Use guys can tell a
cock eyed world that I put it over on Lindbergh.
See yeah, man, an as said, I'm two frogs. The
two frogs. It was a reference to a pair of
(50:40):
gallant French flyers who, in attempting to flight only halfway
round the world, had two weeks before unhappily been lost
at sea. The Times Man was bold enough at this
point to sketch out for Smirch the accepted formula for
interviews in cases of this kind. He explained that there
should be no arrogant statements belittling the achievements of other heroes,
(51:01):
particularly heroes of foreign nations. Ah to hell with that,
said Smirch. I did it. See I did it, and
I'm talking about it. And he did talk about it.
None of this extraordinary interview was of course printed on
the contrary. The newspapers, already under the discipline direction of
(51:22):
a secret director it created for the occasion, and composed
of statesmen and editors, gave out to a panting and
restless world that Jackie, as he had been arbitrarily nicknamed,
would consent to say only that he was very happy,
and that anyone could have done what he did. My
achievement has been I fear slightly exaggerated. The Times Man's
(51:44):
article had him protest with a modest smile. These newspaper
stories were kept from the hero, a restriction which did
not serve to abate the rising malevolence of his temper.
The situation was indeed extremely grave for pal Smirch was,
as he kept insisting, arn to go. He could not
(52:07):
much longer be kept from a nation clamorous to lionize him.
It was the most desperate crisis the United States of
America had faced since the sinking of the Lusitania. On
the afternoon of the twenty seven of July, Smirch was
spirited away to a conference room in which were gathered mayors, governors,
government officials, behaviorist psychologists, and editors. He gave them each
(52:31):
a limp moist paw, and a brief, unlovely grin Hi,
he said. When Smirch was seated, the Mayor of New
York arose, and, with obvious pessimism, attempted to explain what
he must say and how he must act when presented
to the world, ending his talk with a high tribute
to the hero's courage and integrity. The Mayor was followed
(52:54):
by Governor Fanaman of New York, who, after a touching
declaration of faith, introduced Cameron Spottiswood, second Secretary of the
American Embassy in Paris, the gentleman selected to coach Smirch
in the amenities of public ceremonies. Sitting in a chair
with a soiled yellow tie in his hand and his
shirt open at the throat, unshaved, smoking a rolled cigarette,
(53:18):
Jack Smirch listened with a leer on his lips. I
get you, I get you, he cut in nastily. You
want me to act like a softy huh. You want
me to act like that memony, memny baby face, lind
big huh. Well nuts to that. See. Everyone took in
his breath sharply. It was a sigh and a hiss.
(53:42):
Mr Lindbergh began a United States Senator purple with rage,
and Mr bird Smirch, who was paring his nails with
a jackknife, cut in again. Boyd. He exclaimed, for God's
sake that pick somebody shut off the blasphemies with a
sharp word. A newcomer had entered the word the room.
(54:03):
Everyone stood up except smur who was still busy with
his nails, and he did not even glance up. Mr
Smirch said someone sternly the President of the United States.
It had been thought that the presence of the Chief
Executive might have a chastening effect on the young hero,
and the former had been, thanks to the remarkable co
operation of the press, secretly brought to the obscure conference room.
(54:26):
A great painful silence fell. Smirch looked up, waved a
hand at the President. How are you coming, he asked,
and began rolling a fresh cigarette. The silence deepened. Someone
(54:50):
coughed in a strained way. Jesus's hot, ain't it, said Smirch.
He loosened two more shirt buttons, revealing a hairy chest
and the tattooed word Sadie enclosed in a stenciled heart.
The great and important men in the room, faced by
(55:10):
the most serious crisis in American history, exchanged worried frowns.
Nobody seemed to know how to proceed. Come on, come on,
said Smirch. Let's get the hell outta here. Why do
I start cutting in on the party's uh? And when
is there gonna be this in it? He rubbed a
(55:31):
thumb and forefinger together meaningly, Money, exclaimed a state senator,
shocked Pale. Yeah money, said Pal, flipping his cigarette out
of the window. And big money. He began rolling a
fresh cigarette. Big money, he repeated, Frowning over the rice paper.
(55:51):
He tilted back in his chair and leered at each
gentleman separately, the leer of an animal that knows its power,
the leer of a leopard loose in a bird and
dog shop. For God's sake, Let's get someplace where it's cool,
he said. I've been cooped up plenty for three weeks.
(56:12):
Smirch stood up and walked over to an open window,
where he stood staring down into the street nine floors below.
The faint shouting of newsboys floated up to him. He
made out his name, hot Dog. He cried, grinning ecstatic,
he leaned out over the sill Yo talent babies. He
(56:34):
shouted down, hot diggity dog. In the tense little knot
of men standing behind him, a quick, mad impulse flared up.
An unspoken word of appeal of command seemed to ring
through the room, yet it was deadly silent. Charles K.
L Brand, secretary to the Mayor of New York City,
happened to be standing nearest smirch. He looked inquiringly at
(56:57):
the President of the United States. The President, pale grim
nodded shortly. Brand, a tall, powerfully built man wants to
tackle at Rutgers University, stepped forward, seized the greatest man
in the world by his left shoulder and the seat
of his pants, and pushed him out the window. My god,
he's fallen out the window, cried a quick witted editor.
(57:19):
Get me out of here, cried the President. Several men
sprang to his side, and he was hurriedly escorted out
of a door toward a side entrance of the building.
The editor of the Associated Press took charge. Being used
to such things crisply, he ordered certain men to leave,
others to stay. Quickly. He outlined a story which all
the papers were to agree on. Sent two men to
the street to handle that end of the tragedy, commanded
a Senator to sob and two Congressmen to go to
(57:42):
pieces nervously. In a word, he skillfully set the stage
for the gigantic task that was to follow, the task
of breaking to a grief stricken world the sad story
of the untimely accidental death of its most illustrious and
spectacular figure. The funeral was, as you know, the most elaborate,
(58:07):
the finest, the solemnist, and the saddest ever held in
the United States of America. The monument in Arlington Cemetery,
with its clean white shaft of marble and the simple
device of a tiny plane carved on its base, is
a place for pilgrims in deep reverence to visit. The
(58:30):
nations of the world paid lofty tributes to Little Jackie Smirch,
America's greatest hero. At a given hour, there were two
minutes of silence throughout the nation. Even the inhabitants of
the small bewildered town of Westfield, Iowa, observed this touching ceremony.
Agents of the Department of Justice sought at that one
(58:53):
of them was especially assigned to stand grimly in the
doorway of a little shack restaurant on the edge of
the tourists camping ground just outside the town. They are
under his stern scrutiny. Mrs Emma Smirch bowed her head
over to hamburger stakes sizzling on her grill. Bowed her
(59:13):
head and turned away so that the secret serviceman could
not see the twisted, strangely familiar leer on her lips.
The Greatest Man in the World by James Thurber. I've
(59:45):
done all the damage I can do here. Thank you
for listening The Greatest Man in the World. If you're
not following or subscribing to the podcast, please do so.
Among other things, if there are special editions between now
and the next scheduled Countdown on December twenty nine, you
will know automatically. Here are the credits. Most of the music,
including our the from Beethoven's Ninth was arranged, produced, and
(01:00:07):
performed by Brian Ray and John Philip Shanelle, who are
the Countdown musical directors. All orchestration and keyboards by John
Philip Chanelle. Guitars, bass and drums by Brian Ray. Produced
by t k O Brothers. Other Beethoven selections have been
arranged and performed by the group No Horns Allowed. The
sports music is the Olberman theme from ESPN two and
it was written by Mitch Warren Davis courtesy of ESPN, Inc.
(01:00:30):
Musical comments by Nancy Faust. The best baseball stadium organist ever.
Our announcer today from our rotating cast of celebrity announcers
was the great friend of mine, John Dean. Everything else
was pretty much my fault. So that's the one episode
of the Countdown podcast for this the seven and fifteenth
day since Donald Trump's first attempted coup against the democratically
(01:00:53):
elected government of the United States. Arrest him now while
we still can. I'm Keith Allerman. Good Morning, good afternoon, goodnight,
good luck, and Merry Christmas. M Countdown with Keith Alderman
(01:01:15):
is a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts
from I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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