May 29, 2024 • 53 mins
SERIES 2 EPISODE 183: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: It is becoming increasingly obvious that Trump and the authoritarians seeking to overthrow democracy in the United States and install him as dictator for life and then enact the equivalent of ethnic cleansing… have made the choice to let everybody KNOW… that they are seeking to overthrow the democracy in the United States and install him as dictator and then enact the equivalent of ethnic cleansing.
You may recall him summoning most of the fossil fuel industry of this country to Mar-a-Lago in April and essentially demanding they put one billion dollars into his campaign so he can eliminate virtually all the restrictions on their businesses as they try to destroy the planet faster. Now The Washington Post reports that early THIS month he summoned most of the big money donors to the Republicans and other fascists to the Pierre Hotel here in New York and was essentially demanding they increase THEIR donations by a factor of 25 or 50 so he can eliminate virtually all TAXES on their businesses and incomes…
A businessman, he told them, had offered a donation of a million dollars to his campaign, in exchange for lunch. The Post’s sources quote Trump as replying “I’m not having lunch. You’ve got to make it 25 million.” Then there was the donor who normally gave two to three million. “He told the donor that he wanted a 25 million dollar or 50 million dollar contribution or he would not be, quote ‘very happy’. It’s blackmail. Give me the money I want – 25 times as much as you planned – or else.
It's kinda Robert DeNiro, in "The Untouchables," playing Al Capone, carrying around a baseball bat. Which is funny because who showed up at the trial yesterday but DeNiro and suddenly the Trumpists are enraged that anybody would dare bring people TO the courthouse!
If this unvarnished, unrestrained, undeniable corruption were not obvious enough that Trump just doesn’t GIVE a shit any more – you’re not going to shame him, you’re not going to restrain him, you’re not going to prosecute him – he’s decided it’s us or him… there’s the SECOND part. Trump posted a video – another one of these fig leaf deniable videos: HE didn’t MAKE the video, he just POSSSSSSTED this video. And so the threats in the video, nominally directed at Joe Scarborough, that Trump will "get rid of all you offing liberals; you liberals are gone" aren't Trump's threats.
Except, of course they are. Because Trump has called his opponents vermin and vowed to get rid of them. And expel all the immigrants. And put them in concentration camps. And use the army. And use the cops. And if you can do that, you can point at Joe Scarborough and say "YOU are now defined as an immigrant. Get in the camp."
And that... is ethnic cleansing.
B-Block (30:49) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: The Renfield-ification of Lindsey Graham is complete. Speaker Mike Johnson is stalling on the installation of a Capitol plaque honoring the police from January 6th. And Pastor Shane Vaughn has news for you: Jesus was a millionaire.
C-Block (41:30) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: Since yesterday was the saga of the 45th anniversary of my college graduation, today must be the saga of the class I nearly failed because the professor was mad because the quarterback of his favorite football team fumbled away a victory in the final minute.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio, the
trial in a moment, and the rare opportunity for me
to say I told you so about something legal. But first,
(00:27):
it is becoming increasingly obvious that Trump and the authoritarians
seeking to overthrow democracy in the United States and install
him as a dictator for life and then enact the
equivalent of ethnic cleansing, have made the choice to let
everybody know in advance that they are seeking to overthrow
the democracy in the United States and install him as
(00:48):
a dictator and then enact the equivalent of ethnic cleansing.
You may recall Trump summoning most of the fossil fuel
industry of this nation to Mari Lago in April and
essentially demanding that they put one billion dollars into his
campaign so that he can get elected and then eliminate
(01:11):
virtually all of the restrictions on their businesses as they
try to destroy the planet faster now. The Washington Post
reports that early this month, he summoned most of the
big money non gas donors to the Republicans and other
fascists to the Pierre Hotel here in New York, around
(01:33):
the corner from me, and there was essentially demanding that
they increase their donations by a factor of twenty five
or fifty times so he can eliminate virtually all taxes
on their businesses and their personal incomes. One businessman Trump
(01:53):
told them had offered him a donation of a million
dollars in exchange for lunch. The Posts sources quoted Trump
is replying, I'm not having lunch. You've got to make
it twenty five million. Then there was the other would
be donor, who normally gave two to three million.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Quote.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
He told the donor that he wanted a twenty five
million dollar or fifty million dollar contribution or he would
not be quote very happy. Quote The tax cuts all
expire for wealthy and poor and middle income and everybody else,
he told the coven at the Pierre, According to the
(02:32):
Washington Post, But they expire in another seven months, and
Biden's not going to renew them, which means taxes are
going to go up by four times. You're going to
have the biggest tax increase in history. It's blackmail. Give
me the money I want twenty five times or fifty
times as much as you plan to give me, or
(02:55):
else is this legal. Of course, it's not legal. What
does legal mean to Trump? At this point? If he
loses the election, he might as well enact the original
outcome to the novel on which House of Cards was based,
and go up to the roof somewhere and light himself
(03:18):
on fire and jump off. The Washington Post quoted campaign
finance lawyers who say Trump was technically allowed to ask
these donors for contributions of thirty three hundred dollars or less. Well,
he's close only fifty million. The quid pro quo is
(03:43):
in Trump's blood. It's why he's on trial. It is
the through line of his relationship with Michael Cohen and
Stormy Daniels. It's why he was impeached over Ukraine. It
was the premise of January sixth. It is why he
is running a pre sale on the environment for one
billion dollars. It is why he will tell you lower
(04:05):
taxes for fifty million dollars a plate. It's why, of course,
he doesn't care if anybody knows, because if it works,
exactly who is going to prosecute him for blackmail and
corruption and quid pro quos? And if it doesn't work,
there are a whole lot of buildings he can jump off,
many of which have his own name on them. If
(04:30):
this unvarnished, unrestrained, undeniable corruption, we're not obvious enough. If
it were not obvious enough that Trump just doesn't give
a shit anymore, You're not gonna shame him, You're not
going to restrain him, You're not going to prosecute him.
He's decided it's us or him. There's the second part
(04:52):
to this. Trump reposted or posted a video, another one
of these fig leaf deniable Reich videos. He didn't make
the video, he just posted the video. In it, a
man encounters at a New York apparently airport Joe Scarborough.
(05:18):
He rolls his phone camera and he starts swearing at
Joe Scarborough for twenty three seconds, complete with a bad
New York accent. Now, look, who am I to judge?
We've all done this. And Scarborough tried to mainstream Trump,
(05:39):
and he coached Trump before the debates in twenty sixteen,
and he only stopped and suddenly found God when Trump
did not pick him to be his vice president, or
Scarborough would be out there at the trial supporting Trump.
And Scarborough thus long ago forfeited the usual rules about
deserving that minimal level of decorum in public. So he
(06:04):
got screamed at with swear words for twenty three seconds
by this guy. And by the way, the assumption is
it's a guy. But to me, go listen to the
tape you judge for yourself. To me, it sounded like
Judge Janine Piro from Fox but who knows, and swearing
at Scarborough. But the lunatic then branched out. And this
(06:25):
is the point. Quoting quote again mildly correcting quote, He'll
get rid of all you efing liberals. You liberals are
gone when he e fing wins, You e fing blowjob
liberals are done. Uncle Buny's gonna take this election. Landslide, landslide,
(06:45):
You fing half a blowjob landslide. Get the f out
of here, you scumbag unquote. Watch that guy wind up
as Secretary of State. The point, of course, is that
Trump posted that video and he can come up with
any excuse he Oh, I thought it was funny. Oh,
(07:07):
it's just criticism of Joe Scarborough. Oh I didn't look
at it as that I didn't make that video. He
is as responsible for that as if somebody verbally assaulted
I don't know Jesse Waters in a video? Does Jesse
Waters recognize his own name if it's yelled at it
on the streets? He yells at Jesse Waters in a video,
(07:29):
promises Biden is going to purge Jesse Waters and his
family and his supporters, and then Biden posted the video
on his accounts on social media. It is the most
rapidly efficiently worn out cliche of our century. But truly,
what would be happening right now if Joe Biden had
(07:50):
posted some kind of video like the Trump Scarborough video.
If that had happened, the New York Times headquarters would
be the first building in human history to faint from
the vapors. And obviously Biden would not post that hypothetical
video because his campaign is not an ever increasingly criminal
(08:14):
plot to extort money from donors and pedal all the
influence he has and trade tax cuts for political contributions,
and sell the right to destroy the planet to oil
executives who apparently get signed kind of bonus if they
kill all of us by the year twenty thirty instead
of merely the year twenty thirty five. I have been
(08:36):
arguing since the year twenty sixteen that the essence of
the Trump campaign, the Trump zeitgeist. The essence of Trump
has been hit Larian. Not that he would take the
oath of office and then open concentration camps a half
an hour later, Not that I was comparing him to
Hitler nineteen forty two, but that the point of Trump
(09:00):
is to help one part of the country metaphor or
literally kill the other half of the country. When you say,
as Trump has said, the immigrants are poisoning the blood
of the nation. When you say, as Trump has said,
his enemies are vermin and you will remove them, and
(09:23):
you will use the military, and you will also immunize
the cops. So guess what. Then you could use the
cops too, and you will do it quickly. First thing,
and you will decide who is an immigrant. Guess what?
What you are building to is an ethnic cleansing of
the United States of America, only the ethnic definitions are
(09:45):
kind of fluid. Step one, purge all the immigrants. Step two,
declare that all of your political opponents are immigrants. It's
just a word. You could purge. I don't know people
who look like Swiss cheese. And and then declare that
all of your political opponents look like Swiss cheese. The
(10:09):
only thing knew about this is that most of Trump's
predecessors on this list, Hitler, Mussolini, Mao, Paul Pott, they
tried to fool some of the people some of the
time before revealing their final solutions. Trump is not only
(10:31):
revealing it. He's not only posting it in videos that
mock Joe Scarborough. He's not only doing that. But if
you give him a billion dollars, he'll say, would you
like to have naming rights to the final solution? Okay?
(11:15):
Final statements at the trial and ironically, as an aside,
reading of Trump threatening donors at the Pierre Hotel, which
I walk past every day every day. I once had
an hour long staring contest with Bill O'Reilly at a
charity event inside the Pierre Hotel, reading of him there,
Reading of him at Mary Lago offering to sell all
(11:37):
the remaining oxygen for a billion dollars. I think less
of Hitler and Paul pod and those and more of
the movie The Untouchables and the Al Capone baseball bat
scene where Capone in formal attire is meeting with his
(11:57):
henchmen at a formal dinner and talking about enthusiasms like
baseball and good teamwork like in baseball. And the next thing, you, oh,
he's beating in the skull of the character played by
John Rocky with a baseball bat. And oh yeah, who
(12:17):
is it that Trump keeps referencing when he boasts about
how often he's been indicted al Capone? And who is
it again, who plays.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Al Capone in the movie The Untouchables. That's right, Robert
de Niro, who went to the courthouse yesterday and spoke
out vividly against Trump on Biden's behalf, on America's behalf,
on Freedom's behalf, and broke all the Republicans. They declared
(12:48):
he was washed up despite the Oscar nomination this year,
because the other key to enabling Trump's ethnic more or
less cleansing of this country is to insist that everybody
but you and Trump are doing it. On Fox yesterday,
after De Niro swore at Trump and Maga scum in public,
(13:10):
Dana Perino, who, until the invention of Kaylee Mcananey, was
easily the dumbest Press secretary in White House history, Dana
Perino actually said that de Niro had been sent by
quote the campaign to do a speech across the street
from the jury trial. I actually think that they could
(13:32):
probably file a lawsuit about that, because I think it
is against the law, that it's against the rights of
the defendant and of the former president, and it's tampering
with the jury. Trump bringing the Speaker of the House
and half a dozen Senators and half a dozen congressmen
(13:52):
into the courthouse, not across the street, but into the
courthouse several at a time every day of the trial,
that's fine. Robert de Niro holding a news conference outside,
that's against the law. Because simpletons like Dana Perino really
think like that, and it's not complicated why they think
(14:15):
like that.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
They are right. Therefore, the laws are there to protect
them and to punish you. Doesn't matter if it's oh,
going around a formal dining room with a baseball bat, legal,
if it's Republicans, not legal, if it's Democrats more or
less at the same hour that Dana Perino was saying that,
(14:38):
and think about how many things she clearly doesn't understand
about the United States of America, more or less at
that same hour, Hogan Gidley, the Trump spokesman who either
has a really bad wig that he bought at Woolworth's
or was never taught by his dad how to comb
his real hair. Hogan Gidley was on CNN upbraiding Jake
(15:02):
Tapper because Jake Tapper had noted that Judge Eileen Cannon
was appointed by Trump, but he did not also note
that Judge Juan mere Shaan once donated to the Biden campaign,
and to his credit, Tapper replied, yeah, I think he
gave like thirty five bucks to get a T shirt
for his daughter, and Hogan Gidley smiled with great satisfaction,
(15:26):
because this is how they think one judge corrupt, clearly stalling,
stalling so much. She may actually have stalled too much
and may get herself removed from that trial, probably not
in time, but she may get herself removed from that
trial and sanctioned by the judges above her. Was appointed
(15:49):
by Trump and the other judge once donated thirty five dollars.
That's the same thing to them. Because it is illegal
to oppose Trump, it is illegal to contradict Trump, it
is illegal to work against Trump, and if it isn't,
it will be. That's the idea I said. This part
(16:14):
was about the trial itself, with jury's who knows, But
I will point out that on May fourteenth, I noted
the defense's self congratulatory insistence that they had blown up
Michael Cohen because they insisted a critical call from Cohen
to the phone of Trump bouncer Keith Schiller on October
twenty four, twenty sixteen, could not have included questions about
(16:36):
Harrison calls and the latest on the payments to Stormy Daniels,
That the call was less than two minutes, that Cohen
could not have talked about two different things to Shiller
and to Trump in just that span of time. I
noted that day. The last part is nonsense. I once
fired my business manager and my agent in one phone call.
(16:57):
They were both on that including the pleasantries, lasted thirty
six seconds. So sure enough, what does Prosecutor Joshua Steinlass
do in his closing argument to the jury yesterday? Per
The New York Times, Steinlass just started a timer and
pretended to have the exact same conversation, adding plenty of
(17:18):
asides and silences as he played the role of Cohen
talking first to Schiller and then to Trump. The call
felt as if it lasted a long time. But when
Steinlass stopped the timer. It had only been about forty
nine seconds, about as long as the call in question.
The point he was seeking to illustrate was simple that
(17:40):
Cohen could have easily talked to both men just like
he testified. This was a real piece of showmanship, clever
and useful at the same time. Moments like these show
Steinlass's experience as a longtime trial lawyer who can lean
into the innate theatricality of the role. Jonah Bromwich, New
York Times Tall JISSEU no idea what the jury will do.
(18:06):
I know one of Trump's old attorneys was on TV
and rolled his eyes at much of the Trump closing arguments.
I know Trump's lawyer violated all the rules of the
court and told the jury it could not send Trump
to jail on Cohen's testimony, when this is not the
jury that would decide if he goes to jail. The
judge insisted that the lawyer did that deliberately. I don't
(18:27):
know how you unhear that you can't desclare a mistrial
in favor of the prosecution. And I do know lawyers
keep pointing out the crux of this that Trump confessed
elsewhere to paying Cohen to pay Daniels. And I also
(18:48):
know that if I were Bob de Niro and I
was going to speak outside the Trump courthouse about scum
like Trump, I would have talked more about enthusiasms, and
I would have brought my baseball back with me coffee.
(19:13):
Last point. Sometimes I think the New York Times and
Politico collude. I think they alternate in covering the campaign. Now,
you guys are going to insist Biden can't win. Okay,
will write something good saying he could win. Oh wait, no, no,
(19:33):
you change it. You're going to write something good, Okay,
then we'll write something bad. Times Yesterday headline, Trump leans
into an outlaw image as his criminal trial concludes, Preparing
for a potential verdict in Manhattan, the former president has
increasingly aligned himself with fellow defendants and people convicted of crimes.
(19:55):
By this logic, Whenever Trump eventually dies, the Times could
run a headline saying Trump leans into a dead image
as his life concludes, explains it'll be easier for him
to get around because he's lost so much weight. So
that was the Times out law image, who no rules?
(20:19):
Just Trump? Politico Yesterday their headline a full blown freak
out over Biden. I'll read this. A pervasive sense of
fear has settled in at the highest levels of the
Democratic Party over Joe Biden's reelection prospects, even among office
holders and strategists who have previously expressed confidence about the
(20:40):
coming battle with Donald Trump. A few choice quotes a
Democratic operative, this isn't oh my god, Mitt Romney might
become president. It's oh my god, the democracy might end.
There's still a path to win this, but they don't
look like a campaign that's embarking on that path right now,
said Pete g and Greco, a longtime Democratic strategist who's
worked time Blah blah. New York Democrats need to wake up,
(21:02):
said Manhattan Borough President Mark Levy. The number of people
in New York, including people of color, that I come across,
who are saying positive things about Trump is alarming. So
they are the negatives. This followed last Friday, the Friday
of Memorial Day weekend, when nobody is reading the holy
(21:23):
goddamn New York Times, the holy goddamnedest New York Times story.
I think I have ever read the polls they wrote
last Friday. I doubt you saw it have shown Trump
with an edge for eight straight months, but there's one
big flashing warning sign suggesting that his advantage might not
(21:43):
be quite as stable as it looks. By the way,
that's as stable as The Times has made it look,
while everybody else has said, you know, it's not stable.
That warning sign the Times went on. His narrow lead
is built on gains among voters who aren't paying close
attention to politics, who don't follow traditional news, and who
(22:05):
don't regularly vote, who don't regularly vote, so he'll win
the votes of everybody who doesn't vote, go on. To
the extent that has not been true in the New
(22:26):
York Times Sienna College polling in the last eight years.
Disengaged voters are driving the overall polling results and the
storyline about the election. President Biden has actually led the
last three Times Sienna national polls among those who voted
in the twenty twenty election, even as he has trailed
among registered voters overall. And looking back over the last
few years, almost all of mister Trump's gains have come
(22:49):
from these less engaged voters. So all of your polls
this last year Times have been predicated on the opinions
and promises and plans of voters who do not vote.
I understand voters who do not vote might suddenly vote. Gotcha.
(23:19):
Seems though, that you might have wanted to have mentioned
this a little earlier, just saying in our polling, mister
Biden wins just three quarters of Democratic leaning voters who
didn't vote in the twenty twenty two midterm election, even
as almost all high turnout Democratic leaners continue to support him.
While the race has been stable so far. Okay, while
(23:41):
the race has been stable so far, mister Trump's dependence
on disengaged voters makes it easy to imagine how it
could quickly become more volatile as voters tune in over
the next six months. There's a chance that disengaged but
traditionally Democratic voters could revert to their usual partisan leanings. Alternately,
many of these disaffected voters might ultimately stay home, which
(24:03):
might help mister Biden. The Time's latest excuse for a
year of polls that have put a huge thumb on
the polling picture, on the entire coverage of the campaign,
on Democrats who have panicked and said get rid of
Joe Biden. The latest Times excuse for its intolerable indefensible
(24:25):
journalistic malpractice. Is Biden has not been reaching the non
voters who are non politically plugged in and are non
readers as well. What important factor might be the media consumption.
While mister Biden holds nearly all of his support from
voters who consume traditional mainstream media national newspapers, television networks
(24:45):
and the like, the disengaged are far likelier to report
getting their news from social media. Two things here. If
national newspapers have no sway on this election, why why
are we bothering to read their polls? Why are we
bothering to believe leave their polls? Why are we not
(25:08):
questioning the methodology of their polls? And the other thing,
If there's one thing we know for certain about social
media is that it's volatile and its influences are for
sale by the car load lot. If this really is
the crux of the problem, flood TikTok, flood insta, get
(25:30):
on all of them with Biden influencers. How much do
you think a million dollars will get you on TikTok?
And here's one idea minute long clips News from the
Future showing Trump jailing kids who are protesting, showing Trump
(25:51):
instituting a draft showing all flights being canceled because of
climate change because Trump sold all the oxygen after he
got re elected. Paint in broad strokes. In other words,
if this this is really about people who are influenced
by social media, largely younger people or even older people,
scare the crap out of them. And if that fails,
(26:15):
just run a lot of clips of de Niro with
the baseball bats. No one wants coffee after that. Also
of interest, here, who wants to be a millionaire? Jesus does?
A right wing pastor insists greed is good because Jesus
(26:38):
was a trust fund baby who was given a million
dollars at birth. And no, I'm not kidding, hallelujah, hallelujah.
I wonder if Jesus invested in bedkind. That's next. This
is Countdown.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
This is Countdown, with Keith Elberman.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Still ahead of us on this almost all new edition
of Countdown. There are football fans, and then there are
football fans who thought about failing everybody in the IVY
League history class they taught as revenge against the universe
because their team blew a game on a terrible, stupid
(27:46):
last second mistake, and of course I was in his
class and I loved him. Still. Next in things I
promised not to tell, but first, as ever, there are
still more new idiots to talk about. The daily roundup
of the misgrants, morons and Dunning Kruger effects specimens who
constitute two days worst persons in the world Theron's worst
(28:14):
Senator Lindsey Graham. We have all watched as Graham has
turned from an occasionally surprisingly responsible Republican into a bloated, psychotic,
hallucinating a biologist for Trump who looks like he's being
blackmailed with something really, really bad, and he has late
stage PTSD, and he looks like he might take hostages
(28:35):
at any moment. On the other hand, Lindsay Graham got
a lot of grief undeserved, I think for something he
said recently on Fox. He was schmoozing the idiots on
the Fox Morning Show couch where you go to sit
on your brains, and he was reassuring the challenged hosts
that no, they were not propagandizing for fascism, they were
(28:57):
standing up for freedom. The bottom line he is, Graham drawled,
conservatives are tolerant. We are kind of get out of
your business. You leave me alone, I'll leave you alone.
Needless to say, this has been met with guffaws, except
I think it was met with guffaws because people thought
(29:21):
when Lindsey Graham said tolerant, they thought he meant human tolerance,
like letting people believe what they want to believe, letting
women vote, letting minorities vote, letting Democrats vote, not trying
to destroy the Capitol because they lost an election and
they cannot deal with it. No, of course he didn't
mean that kind of tolerant. Lindsey Graham said exactly literally
(29:45):
what he meant. Let me read you that quote again.
Conservatives are tolerant. We are kind of get out of
your business. Take him literally here. Of course, Conservatives are
tolerant about your business. I mean he just said your
business business. They are get out of your business, conservatives,
especial if your business wants to cheat on its taxes,
(30:09):
or discriminate against gays, or payoff porn stars before an election,
or hire eight year olds to clean dangerous machinery, or
contribute billions of dollars to overthrowing democracy. That's what Lindsey
Graham meant by tolerant. Literally, get out of my business.
(30:30):
The runner's up Congress here is an enigma. A year ago,
last March, the House of Representatives passed a spending bill
that included required, mandated the construction, creation, and installation of
a plaque listing the names of the officers who served
at the capitol on January sixth, ordering that it be
(30:51):
installed when ready on the western front of our capital.
And fourteen months later, nothing, All quiet on the western
front of our capital, no plaque, and Presentative Zoe Lofgren's
letters to Speaker Mike Johnson about what he did with
the plaque have gone unanswered. Well, of course, you don't
(31:12):
have to be an expert to figure this one out.
The plaque would offend Trump because it would give official
sanction to the idea that the police were the good
guys on January sixth, and Trump's traders were the bad guys.
And Trump can't accept that. So Mike Johnson is slow
walking a plaque that you know, backs the Blue, because
(31:39):
Trump and the Republicans don't back the Blue. On the
other hand, Monday Memorial Day, a man named Ben Pollock,
the proud father of not one, but two insurrectionist bastards,
who attacked the Capitol and the cops on January sixth
led a convoy that tried to force its way into
Arlington National Cemetery on Memorial Day to install there in
(32:01):
the nation's most hallowed ground, a stone reading in honor
of the ones who lost their lives on jan six,
twenty twenty one, starting with Ashley Babbitt, and then there
were three other names of insurrectionists or whatever garbage they were.
When stopped by authorities this Yahoo Pollock got out live
(32:24):
streaming this, and he insisted that Ashley Babbitt should be
buried there quote right up there with mister Lee. And again,
the appalling glorification of Traders is one thing. I'm afraid
we're sort of used to that. But the continuously amazing
part to me is the endless stupidity of these idiots,
because while Arlington National Cemetery was once the mansion of
(32:48):
Robert E. Lee, Robert E. Lee Trader is in fact
buried at Washington and Lee University in Lexington, Virginia, where
he was president when he died, which they could have
googled if only they were smart enough to think. I
wonder if I might be wrong out something in life PostScript,
(33:08):
speaking of which one of the other names printed on
that rock, And it's a rock with white paint on
it and names then stenciled on it in black, and
it looks like crap. It looks like a large frozen
turkey from the A and P. One of the names
on there is a woman named Roseanne Boyland, and these
geniuses misspelled her name Roseanne. But our winner, Pastor Shane Vaughan.
(33:38):
We visited with Pastor Shane before, courtesythefine folks at Friendlyatheist
dot com. Pastor Shane was the one who said he
had to be careful. He could not go on his
live stream and call Joy Read of MSNBC a quote
jungle bunny. And of course he said those exact words
while claiming he was not saying them, because all you
(34:00):
need to do is look at this guy and you
realize that he has the ethics of the most corrupt
insurance agent you've ever met. Pastor Shane has moved on
to defending himself after what appears to have been a
spate of complaints because he's been caught driving around in
a Cadillac. Even his parishioners are wondering why so. Pastor
(34:23):
Shane did another stream of some sort, just attacked all
his own faithful who think maybe pastors shouldn't be rich.
Speaker 3 (34:33):
For some reason. There is this messed up thinking in
the minds of people that pastors are to be poor.
And I don't know. For example, this vehicle I'm driving
right here, people look at it. Yes, it's a very
extensive vehicle, very very But what you don't know is
(34:57):
I didn't buy it. You didn't know that, did you.
That's because you got your nose in places and you
don't even know what you're talking about. This was given
to me. You understand that people don't know those things.
It's none of their business. But yes, I drive a
Cadillact that I did not buy. Do you think I'm
(35:21):
just gonna throw it in the ditch because it was
given to me?
Speaker 1 (35:25):
So religious vows of poverty and whatnot just nonsense, utter nonsense,
says Pastor Shane. Why look at Jesus, Jesus, Jesus is
your defense for driving a Cadillac. I can't wait to
see how this plays out. Jesus, according to Pastor Shane,
(35:48):
was a trust fund baby.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
Where do we get this thing from that? Anybody in
the world can be blessed except a pastor. Where did
that thinking come from? People say, well, Jesus didn't even
have a place to lay his head, you poor uneducated
Bible reader. Go look. I believe in the Book of
(36:13):
Mark where it says the total opposite. It says that
they were at Jesus's.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
House, his home. He had a home.
Speaker 3 (36:23):
What do you think Yashua did with all the money
that was brought to him at his birth? Do you
know what was brought to him from the kings of
the East Gold Frankensons, mrkh Do you know how much
that was worth in today's dollars? Almost a million dollars
(36:43):
was given to the baby Jesus. What do you think
financed his life? What do you think financed his ministry?
Supernatural finances?
Speaker 1 (36:52):
Hallelujah and pass the tax deductions? Supernatural finances. Million dollar baby,
million dollar Jesus, hallelujah, a million dollar Jesus. Okay, we
can make fun of Pastor Shane with the ethics of
a corrupt insurance agent, and God knows we will make
(37:13):
fun of him, but I do have to offer a
little factual analysis of his rationalization. His biblical greed is
good because Jesus had a million dollars at birth. People
who take the Bible seriously but also believe in like
you know. Historical research have concluded that if you superimposed
(37:33):
today's economics on the world of two thousand years ago,
a pound of frankincense would be worth in today's money
five hundred dollars, a pound of gold would be worth
six hundred dollars, and a pound of murrh four thousand dollars. Hey,
forget buying any of that gold. Let's invest in murr.
(37:55):
In short, it would be as if putin King Charles
and Trump gave Jesus twenty twenty four fifty one hundred
bucks supernatural finances. You betcha hallelujah. Pastor Shane Vaughn can't add,
can't count, can't do math, can't lie well, which is
(38:19):
really a problem because he actually is an insurance agent
as well. Can I pay you later past your insurance
agent when my supernatural finances come through?
Speaker 2 (38:31):
Two days? Worst person.
Speaker 4 (38:37):
In the world?
Speaker 2 (38:40):
Where where are you? Tone? Why did you need me? Me?
Speaker 1 (38:46):
Roll alone? I searched the world.
Speaker 4 (38:50):
Over and a thought of about your love, But you
made another and he was gone.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
The number one story on the countdown, and why don't
we just make this stuff from my college days week?
I know, I know, there's a really good chance you
still have not finished yesterday's things. I promised not to
tell about how I had to take twenty eight credits
ten classes in my last semester of college just to
(39:24):
graduate on time because Dad wouldn't pay for a dollar's
worth after that one semester, and I had to walk
up hill in the snow both ways. Had to take
twenty eight credits in my last semester of college just
to graduate on time, And how because of that I
have endured nearly half a century of dreams about not
graduating on time. I know I went on for a
(39:46):
bit about this subject, like about half an hour. Sorry anyway,
this story is two semesters before that, and much much shorter.
It was the fall of my senior year at Cornell,
and it's about a four credit course that I nearly failed,
in fact, that every but in the class nearly failed
because a quarterback fumbled a football in an NFL game. Seriously,
(40:15):
in September nineteen seventy eight, I walked reluctantly but proudly
into this one class at Cornell University, and if I
remember correctly, to get into nineteenth century American history with
Professor Joel Silby eight credits spanning two semesters, I had
to get special permission from the History department because I
(40:36):
was not a history major. I just took all the
history classes I could get, even this one, which was
really toughly graded, an awful lot of reading, amazing amount
of detail, and really good. Not only was Professor Silby
really good, but the reading material was outstanding. I took
(40:57):
all the Corneill history classes I could get, and this
was one of the best ones. And I remember Profess
Sir Sylby's first lecture and the accent and the mannerisms
that quickly identified him not only as a fellow native
New Yorker, but as a Brookly Knight and a Brookly
Knight fan of as he quickly told us the New
York football giants. What Professor Joel Silbey said next, cause
(41:22):
the I think it was two hundred or so other
students in the lecture hall to laugh, all of them
except me, because I was the sports director of the
Cornhill student owned radio station, and in those days you
could actually know everything about and everybody in all the
national sports off the top of your head, and usually
(41:42):
that meant you could figure out all the teams in
all the sports that had the slightest chance of succeeding,
and all the teams in all the sports that did not.
And the New York Football Giants did not. I want
you to know I grade the papers, not the teaching
assistants me and I happened to be a lifelong, therefore
long suffering fan of the New York Football Giants. I
(42:03):
saw my first Giant game in nineteen forty five, and
over the years I happened to developed this habit of
grading your papers on Sunday afternoons and evenings right after
I watch my New York Football Giants. So, to some
degree great or small, your grade will depend on how
well the New York Football Giants do. In this nineteen
(42:24):
seventy eight National Football League season, one hundred and ninety
nine of Joel Sylbe's students laughed. I emitted a low moan,
since they had gone to five NFL championship games in
the six seasons ending in nineteen sixty three and lost
all five. By the way, the Giants had had exactly
(42:46):
two winning seasons and they had lost nine of fourteen
games the year before nineteen seventy seven. Though they had
opened this nineteen seventy eight season with a narrow victory
over a very bad Tampa Bay team, and the first
half of their schedule had as many as four more
opponents who they might be better than. They would be lucky
to win two games in the second half of the season.
(43:07):
When I got back to the radio station, I looked
at the Giants' schedule and Professor Silbey's class schedule, and
I circled one critical day when the schedules converged, Sunday,
November nineteenth, nineteen seventy eight. Our term papers were due
on Thursday the sixteenth. He could actually read them all
(43:27):
after the Giants Eagles game that night in the following day. Amazingly,
your New York Football Giants actually opened the season winning
three of their first four. In the middle of October,
they were still five and three, and in the history
lecture room, Professor Sylby was very happy, and he often
recreated highlights of his glorious giants pleasing success. And he
(43:48):
was furiously fanboying on the new quarterback they'd brought in
from the Canadian League Joe Pisarchik. If you are a
football history fan, or god forbid, a fan of the
New York Football Giants, you already know where I'm going
with this. The Giants lost the next three games, and
then our term papers were due on November sixteenth, and
(44:11):
Joel Sylbey turned morose and I was at the radio
station watching the Giants Eagles game of the nineteenth on
a big black and white TV in the lounge when
my nightmare unfolded impossibly. The Giants led the much better
Philadelphia Eagles fourteen nothing. After the first quarter. Pisarcik threw
two touchdown passes. After the third quarter, it was still
(44:33):
seventeen to six Giants. Then the Eagles scored and they
were driving to go ahead with a minute and a
half left in the game, when the impossible happened deep
in Giants' territory. The Philly quarterback threw an interception with
eighty three seconds left and in possession of the ball.
The Giants led seventeen thirteen. The crowd at the radio
station was ecstatic. I was even more ecstatic. All the
(44:57):
Giants now had to do was stall and have the
quarterback fall on the ball, maybe twice, as if he
had heard me. Quarterback Joe Pisarchik fell on the ball.
Then he nearly killed me by handing the ball off
to his running back Larry Zanka, who plowed up the
middle to get a first down and burn another thirty
seconds off the clock. The Eagles called their last time out,
(45:19):
thirty one seconds left, thirty one seconds to my grade
in Joel Silbey's nineteenth century American history class, probably ending
up being half or maybe even a full grade better
than I deserved. All Joe Pisarchik had to do was
fall on the damn ball again.
Speaker 2 (45:34):
And it was over.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
However, on the Giant's sideline, offensive coordinator Bob Gibson decided
that the safe play, the winning play, was for Jopisarcik
to hand the ball off again to Larry Zanka. Now
that might have been the right play, only Bob Gibson
and everybody else failed to tell Larry Zanka. Larry Zanka
(45:57):
assumed he was there just to block for Joe Pisarcik.
As Joe Pisarcik collapsed to the turf and ran out
the clock and got me a better grind instead, Pisarchik
handed the ball to where Zanka's hands should have been,
except Larry Zanka was in the blocking stance, and Pisarchik
in fact handed it off directly to Larry Zanka's helmet.
(46:17):
I screamed. The ball bounced once off the turf and
directly into the hands of Philadelphia cornerback Herman Edwards. I
continued to scream. There was nobody near Edwards, and he
scooted twenty six yards into the end zone and the
Giants lost the damn game nineteen to seventeen. In the
last seconds, And as the Giants fans at the radio
station shouted or moaned or swore, I could see Professor
(46:39):
Joel Sylvie shutting off the TV, grabbing our papers and
sentencing us to hell, and I continued to scream. Our
term papers were returned on Tuesday the twenty first, just
before school broke for Thanksgiving. I actually was thankful I
got either a B or a B plus. I can't
(46:59):
find the paper. It should be somewhere in a box.
There was a rumor which I was never able to confirm,
that my B or B plus was the highest grade
in the class. I can confirm I saw classmates, most
far more prepared and astute than myself, most of them
history majors, looking at their grades and blanching visibly. One
(47:20):
girl cried, a C, really a C. Professor Joel Silbey said,
much of our grade would depend on how well the
New York Football Giants did in that nineteen seventy eight
national football season. And my god, they had just sustained
a loss so bad that it is still talked about
to this day. My classmates did not listen, and I
(47:42):
only am escaped alone to tell thee there is a PostScript.
The PostScript takes place thirty two and one half years later.
I returned to Cornell in March of twenty eleven to
give a lecture and teach a series of classes to
students who no longer afterwards felt they had got in
(48:04):
their full money from the university. My alma mater was
very kind to me. They gave me a tour of
the secret places they never would have shown me when
I was a struggling student, like where they kept Cornell's
copy of the Gettysburg address. And they promised me something
special for lunch the first day, and sure enough I
was dropped off at a restaurant, and there, rising from
(48:25):
a table to greet me with applause, were Cornell's official
historian and former Professor Glenn alt Schuller and their very
famous history professor Walter LaFeber, and I swear Professor Joel Silby,
and they were fans of mine. Of course, I could
not leave well enough alone. After a few minutes of
(48:47):
very pleasant conversation with mister alt Schuller and Professor la
Faber and Professor Silby, I brought up the nineteen seventy
eight term paper Joe pisarcik Handoff Story. Professor la Faber
looked at Professor Silby like Professor Silby was out of
his mind? Is that true? And Sylbey smiled and said, yes,
yes it is. And then Joel Silbey looked off into
(49:11):
the distance as if he were peering backwards through time.
Nineteen seventy eight, that's when you could really enjoy being
a professor. He then looked back at me and smiled, Keith,
you won't believe this, but I actually graded those papers
pretty fairly, and I didn't follow through on my original plan.
(49:32):
After the fumble, I actually turned off the TV and
I sat there for a few minutes, and I asked
my soul if it was okay for me to take
my revenge on the universe by failing all of you.
The favorite gulped. Oh, said Sylby. It was so great
to be a professor back then. I laughed so much
(49:54):
I had tears in my eyes. And then Sylby said, okay, okay,
maybe I was a little unfair to you guys, but
you know it's the Giants and you have to take
this as as a whole. The year they won their first
Super Bowl, what was that eighty six? The final exam
in that class was like two days after they finished
the regular season, fourteen and two, eight o'clock in the morning.
(50:14):
So I go to the final see, which I never do.
And I waited until they were all sitting there sweating,
and I said, remember last September when I told you
your grade will depend on how well the New York
Football Giants doing this nineteen eighty six National Football League season,
And there was just silence, and I said, well, if
you didn't notice, they went fourteen and two, and I
(50:36):
haven't been this happy since when they won the title
in nineteen fifty six. So guess what, there's no final exam,
and nobody moved, so I said it again, there's no
final exam, Go home, go study for something else. You'
all get a's. And then there was a couple of
seconds of silence, and they all simultaneously realized I was
not kidding, and everybody cheered and ran out into the sunshine.
(51:01):
So with me and professors Alt Schuler and la Faber
now in tears, Sylby said, see it evens out, and
I said, the hell it does. I graduated in nineteen
seventy nine. How does a canceled final in nineteen eighty
six even it out?
Speaker 2 (51:16):
For me?
Speaker 1 (51:16):
Fella Joel Silby thought for a second and then he said, wow,
I am buying you lunch. I've done all the damage
(51:38):
I can do here. Thank you for listening. Countdown. Musical
directors Brian Ray and John Phillip Chanel arranged, produced, and
performed most of our music. Mister Ray was on guitars, bass,
and drums, and mister Shanelle handled orchestration and keyboards, and
it was produced by Tko Brothers. Other music, including some
of the aetoven compositions, arranged and performed by No Horns Allowed.
(51:59):
The sports music is the Olberman theme from ESPN two,
written by Mitch Warren Davis Curtis of ESPN, Inc. Where
or Where Are You Tonight? Was from heehaw in about
nineteen seventy and I sang that a cappella. Our satirical
and pithy musical comments are by Nancy Faust, the best
baseball stadium organist ever. Our announcer was my friend John Dean,
(52:20):
and everything else was pretty much my fault, especially singing
a cappella. So that's countdown for this the one hundred
and sixty second day until the twenty twenty four presidential election,
the one two hundred and thirty ninth day since Dictator
Jay Trump's first attempted coup against the democratically elected government
of the United States. Use the legal system, use the
(52:42):
mental health system, use presidential immunity if it happens, use
the not regularly given elector objection to stop him from
doing it again while we still can. The next scheduled
countdown is tomorrow bulletins as the news warrants till then,
I'm Keith Ulberman, good morning, good afternoon, good night, and
(53:04):
good luck. Supernatural Finances Countdown with Keith Oldman is a
production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the
iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio, the
trial in a moment, and the rare opportunity for me
to say I told you so about something legal. But first,
(00:27):
it is becoming increasingly obvious that Trump and the authoritarians
seeking to overthrow democracy in the United States and install
him as a dictator for life and then enact the
equivalent of ethnic cleansing, have made the choice to let
everybody know in advance that they are seeking to overthrow
the democracy in the United States and install him as
(00:48):
a dictator and then enact the equivalent of ethnic cleansing.
You may recall Trump summoning most of the fossil fuel
industry of this nation to Mari Lago in April and
essentially demanding that they put one billion dollars into his
campaign so that he can get elected and then eliminate
(01:11):
virtually all of the restrictions on their businesses as they
try to destroy the planet faster now. The Washington Post
reports that early this month, he summoned most of the
big money non gas donors to the Republicans and other
fascists to the Pierre Hotel here in New York, around
(01:33):
the corner from me, and there was essentially demanding that
they increase their donations by a factor of twenty five
or fifty times so he can eliminate virtually all taxes
on their businesses and their personal incomes. One businessman Trump
(01:53):
told them had offered him a donation of a million
dollars in exchange for lunch. The Posts sources quoted Trump
is replying, I'm not having lunch. You've got to make
it twenty five million. Then there was the other would
be donor, who normally gave two to three million.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Quote.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
He told the donor that he wanted a twenty five
million dollar or fifty million dollar contribution or he would
not be quote very happy. Quote The tax cuts all
expire for wealthy and poor and middle income and everybody else,
he told the coven at the Pierre, According to the
(02:32):
Washington Post, But they expire in another seven months, and
Biden's not going to renew them, which means taxes are
going to go up by four times. You're going to
have the biggest tax increase in history. It's blackmail. Give
me the money I want twenty five times or fifty
times as much as you plan to give me, or
(02:55):
else is this legal. Of course, it's not legal. What
does legal mean to Trump? At this point? If he
loses the election, he might as well enact the original
outcome to the novel on which House of Cards was based,
and go up to the roof somewhere and light himself
(03:18):
on fire and jump off. The Washington Post quoted campaign
finance lawyers who say Trump was technically allowed to ask
these donors for contributions of thirty three hundred dollars or less. Well,
he's close only fifty million. The quid pro quo is
(03:43):
in Trump's blood. It's why he's on trial. It is
the through line of his relationship with Michael Cohen and
Stormy Daniels. It's why he was impeached over Ukraine. It
was the premise of January sixth. It is why he
is running a pre sale on the environment for one
billion dollars. It is why he will tell you lower
(04:05):
taxes for fifty million dollars a plate. It's why, of course,
he doesn't care if anybody knows, because if it works,
exactly who is going to prosecute him for blackmail and
corruption and quid pro quos? And if it doesn't work,
there are a whole lot of buildings he can jump off,
many of which have his own name on them. If
(04:30):
this unvarnished, unrestrained, undeniable corruption, we're not obvious enough. If
it were not obvious enough that Trump just doesn't give
a shit anymore, You're not gonna shame him, You're not
going to restrain him, You're not going to prosecute him.
He's decided it's us or him. There's the second part
(04:52):
to this. Trump reposted or posted a video, another one
of these fig leaf deniable Reich videos. He didn't make
the video, he just posted the video. In it, a
man encounters at a New York apparently airport Joe Scarborough.
(05:18):
He rolls his phone camera and he starts swearing at
Joe Scarborough for twenty three seconds, complete with a bad
New York accent. Now, look, who am I to judge?
We've all done this. And Scarborough tried to mainstream Trump,
(05:39):
and he coached Trump before the debates in twenty sixteen,
and he only stopped and suddenly found God when Trump
did not pick him to be his vice president, or
Scarborough would be out there at the trial supporting Trump.
And Scarborough thus long ago forfeited the usual rules about
deserving that minimal level of decorum in public. So he
(06:04):
got screamed at with swear words for twenty three seconds
by this guy. And by the way, the assumption is
it's a guy. But to me, go listen to the
tape you judge for yourself. To me, it sounded like
Judge Janine Piro from Fox but who knows, and swearing
at Scarborough. But the lunatic then branched out. And this
(06:25):
is the point. Quoting quote again mildly correcting quote, He'll
get rid of all you efing liberals. You liberals are
gone when he e fing wins, You e fing blowjob
liberals are done. Uncle Buny's gonna take this election. Landslide, landslide,
(06:45):
You fing half a blowjob landslide. Get the f out
of here, you scumbag unquote. Watch that guy wind up
as Secretary of State. The point, of course, is that
Trump posted that video and he can come up with
any excuse he Oh, I thought it was funny. Oh,
(07:07):
it's just criticism of Joe Scarborough. Oh I didn't look
at it as that I didn't make that video. He
is as responsible for that as if somebody verbally assaulted
I don't know Jesse Waters in a video? Does Jesse
Waters recognize his own name if it's yelled at it
on the streets? He yells at Jesse Waters in a video,
(07:29):
promises Biden is going to purge Jesse Waters and his
family and his supporters, and then Biden posted the video
on his accounts on social media. It is the most
rapidly efficiently worn out cliche of our century. But truly,
what would be happening right now if Joe Biden had
(07:50):
posted some kind of video like the Trump Scarborough video.
If that had happened, the New York Times headquarters would
be the first building in human history to faint from
the vapors. And obviously Biden would not post that hypothetical
video because his campaign is not an ever increasingly criminal
(08:14):
plot to extort money from donors and pedal all the
influence he has and trade tax cuts for political contributions,
and sell the right to destroy the planet to oil
executives who apparently get signed kind of bonus if they
kill all of us by the year twenty thirty instead
of merely the year twenty thirty five. I have been
(08:36):
arguing since the year twenty sixteen that the essence of
the Trump campaign, the Trump zeitgeist. The essence of Trump
has been hit Larian. Not that he would take the
oath of office and then open concentration camps a half
an hour later, Not that I was comparing him to
Hitler nineteen forty two, but that the point of Trump
(09:00):
is to help one part of the country metaphor or
literally kill the other half of the country. When you say,
as Trump has said, the immigrants are poisoning the blood
of the nation. When you say, as Trump has said,
his enemies are vermin and you will remove them, and
(09:23):
you will use the military, and you will also immunize
the cops. So guess what. Then you could use the
cops too, and you will do it quickly. First thing,
and you will decide who is an immigrant. Guess what?
What you are building to is an ethnic cleansing of
the United States of America, only the ethnic definitions are
(09:45):
kind of fluid. Step one, purge all the immigrants. Step two,
declare that all of your political opponents are immigrants. It's
just a word. You could purge. I don't know people
who look like Swiss cheese. And and then declare that
all of your political opponents look like Swiss cheese. The
(10:09):
only thing knew about this is that most of Trump's
predecessors on this list, Hitler, Mussolini, Mao, Paul Pott, they
tried to fool some of the people some of the
time before revealing their final solutions. Trump is not only
(10:31):
revealing it. He's not only posting it in videos that
mock Joe Scarborough. He's not only doing that. But if
you give him a billion dollars, he'll say, would you
like to have naming rights to the final solution? Okay?
(11:15):
Final statements at the trial and ironically, as an aside,
reading of Trump threatening donors at the Pierre Hotel, which
I walk past every day every day. I once had
an hour long staring contest with Bill O'Reilly at a
charity event inside the Pierre Hotel, reading of him there,
Reading of him at Mary Lago offering to sell all
(11:37):
the remaining oxygen for a billion dollars. I think less
of Hitler and Paul pod and those and more of
the movie The Untouchables and the Al Capone baseball bat
scene where Capone in formal attire is meeting with his
(11:57):
henchmen at a formal dinner and talking about enthusiasms like
baseball and good teamwork like in baseball. And the next thing, you, oh,
he's beating in the skull of the character played by
John Rocky with a baseball bat. And oh yeah, who
(12:17):
is it that Trump keeps referencing when he boasts about
how often he's been indicted al Capone? And who is
it again, who plays.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Al Capone in the movie The Untouchables. That's right, Robert
de Niro, who went to the courthouse yesterday and spoke
out vividly against Trump on Biden's behalf, on America's behalf,
on Freedom's behalf, and broke all the Republicans. They declared
(12:48):
he was washed up despite the Oscar nomination this year,
because the other key to enabling Trump's ethnic more or
less cleansing of this country is to insist that everybody
but you and Trump are doing it. On Fox yesterday,
after De Niro swore at Trump and Maga scum in public,
(13:10):
Dana Perino, who, until the invention of Kaylee Mcananey, was
easily the dumbest Press secretary in White House history, Dana
Perino actually said that de Niro had been sent by
quote the campaign to do a speech across the street
from the jury trial. I actually think that they could
(13:32):
probably file a lawsuit about that, because I think it
is against the law, that it's against the rights of
the defendant and of the former president, and it's tampering
with the jury. Trump bringing the Speaker of the House
and half a dozen Senators and half a dozen congressmen
(13:52):
into the courthouse, not across the street, but into the
courthouse several at a time every day of the trial,
that's fine. Robert de Niro holding a news conference outside,
that's against the law. Because simpletons like Dana Perino really
think like that, and it's not complicated why they think
(14:15):
like that.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
They are right. Therefore, the laws are there to protect
them and to punish you. Doesn't matter if it's oh,
going around a formal dining room with a baseball bat, legal,
if it's Republicans, not legal, if it's Democrats more or
less at the same hour that Dana Perino was saying that,
(14:38):
and think about how many things she clearly doesn't understand
about the United States of America, more or less at
that same hour, Hogan Gidley, the Trump spokesman who either
has a really bad wig that he bought at Woolworth's
or was never taught by his dad how to comb
his real hair. Hogan Gidley was on CNN upbraiding Jake
(15:02):
Tapper because Jake Tapper had noted that Judge Eileen Cannon
was appointed by Trump, but he did not also note
that Judge Juan mere Shaan once donated to the Biden campaign,
and to his credit, Tapper replied, yeah, I think he
gave like thirty five bucks to get a T shirt
for his daughter, and Hogan Gidley smiled with great satisfaction,
(15:26):
because this is how they think one judge corrupt, clearly stalling,
stalling so much. She may actually have stalled too much
and may get herself removed from that trial, probably not
in time, but she may get herself removed from that
trial and sanctioned by the judges above her. Was appointed
(15:49):
by Trump and the other judge once donated thirty five dollars.
That's the same thing to them. Because it is illegal
to oppose Trump, it is illegal to contradict Trump, it
is illegal to work against Trump, and if it isn't,
it will be. That's the idea I said. This part
(16:14):
was about the trial itself, with jury's who knows, But
I will point out that on May fourteenth, I noted
the defense's self congratulatory insistence that they had blown up
Michael Cohen because they insisted a critical call from Cohen
to the phone of Trump bouncer Keith Schiller on October
twenty four, twenty sixteen, could not have included questions about
(16:36):
Harrison calls and the latest on the payments to Stormy Daniels,
That the call was less than two minutes, that Cohen
could not have talked about two different things to Shiller
and to Trump in just that span of time. I
noted that day. The last part is nonsense. I once
fired my business manager and my agent in one phone call.
(16:57):
They were both on that including the pleasantries, lasted thirty
six seconds. So sure enough, what does Prosecutor Joshua Steinlass
do in his closing argument to the jury yesterday? Per
The New York Times, Steinlass just started a timer and
pretended to have the exact same conversation, adding plenty of
(17:18):
asides and silences as he played the role of Cohen
talking first to Schiller and then to Trump. The call
felt as if it lasted a long time. But when
Steinlass stopped the timer. It had only been about forty
nine seconds, about as long as the call in question.
The point he was seeking to illustrate was simple that
(17:40):
Cohen could have easily talked to both men just like
he testified. This was a real piece of showmanship, clever
and useful at the same time. Moments like these show
Steinlass's experience as a longtime trial lawyer who can lean
into the innate theatricality of the role. Jonah Bromwich, New
York Times Tall JISSEU no idea what the jury will do.
(18:06):
I know one of Trump's old attorneys was on TV
and rolled his eyes at much of the Trump closing arguments.
I know Trump's lawyer violated all the rules of the
court and told the jury it could not send Trump
to jail on Cohen's testimony, when this is not the
jury that would decide if he goes to jail. The
judge insisted that the lawyer did that deliberately. I don't
(18:27):
know how you unhear that you can't desclare a mistrial
in favor of the prosecution. And I do know lawyers
keep pointing out the crux of this that Trump confessed
elsewhere to paying Cohen to pay Daniels. And I also
(18:48):
know that if I were Bob de Niro and I
was going to speak outside the Trump courthouse about scum
like Trump, I would have talked more about enthusiasms, and
I would have brought my baseball back with me coffee.
(19:13):
Last point. Sometimes I think the New York Times and
Politico collude. I think they alternate in covering the campaign. Now,
you guys are going to insist Biden can't win. Okay,
will write something good saying he could win. Oh wait, no, no,
(19:33):
you change it. You're going to write something good, Okay,
then we'll write something bad. Times Yesterday headline, Trump leans
into an outlaw image as his criminal trial concludes, Preparing
for a potential verdict in Manhattan, the former president has
increasingly aligned himself with fellow defendants and people convicted of crimes.
(19:55):
By this logic, Whenever Trump eventually dies, the Times could
run a headline saying Trump leans into a dead image
as his life concludes, explains it'll be easier for him
to get around because he's lost so much weight. So
that was the Times out law image, who no rules?
(20:19):
Just Trump? Politico Yesterday their headline a full blown freak
out over Biden. I'll read this. A pervasive sense of
fear has settled in at the highest levels of the
Democratic Party over Joe Biden's reelection prospects, even among office
holders and strategists who have previously expressed confidence about the
(20:40):
coming battle with Donald Trump. A few choice quotes a
Democratic operative, this isn't oh my god, Mitt Romney might
become president. It's oh my god, the democracy might end.
There's still a path to win this, but they don't
look like a campaign that's embarking on that path right now,
said Pete g and Greco, a longtime Democratic strategist who's
worked time Blah blah. New York Democrats need to wake up,
(21:02):
said Manhattan Borough President Mark Levy. The number of people
in New York, including people of color, that I come across,
who are saying positive things about Trump is alarming. So
they are the negatives. This followed last Friday, the Friday
of Memorial Day weekend, when nobody is reading the holy
(21:23):
goddamn New York Times, the holy goddamnedest New York Times story.
I think I have ever read the polls they wrote
last Friday. I doubt you saw it have shown Trump
with an edge for eight straight months, but there's one
big flashing warning sign suggesting that his advantage might not
(21:43):
be quite as stable as it looks. By the way,
that's as stable as The Times has made it look,
while everybody else has said, you know, it's not stable.
That warning sign the Times went on. His narrow lead
is built on gains among voters who aren't paying close
attention to politics, who don't follow traditional news, and who
(22:05):
don't regularly vote, who don't regularly vote, so he'll win
the votes of everybody who doesn't vote, go on. To
the extent that has not been true in the New
(22:26):
York Times Sienna College polling in the last eight years.
Disengaged voters are driving the overall polling results and the
storyline about the election. President Biden has actually led the
last three Times Sienna national polls among those who voted
in the twenty twenty election, even as he has trailed
among registered voters overall. And looking back over the last
few years, almost all of mister Trump's gains have come
(22:49):
from these less engaged voters. So all of your polls
this last year Times have been predicated on the opinions
and promises and plans of voters who do not vote.
I understand voters who do not vote might suddenly vote. Gotcha.
(23:19):
Seems though, that you might have wanted to have mentioned
this a little earlier, just saying in our polling, mister
Biden wins just three quarters of Democratic leaning voters who
didn't vote in the twenty twenty two midterm election, even
as almost all high turnout Democratic leaners continue to support him.
While the race has been stable so far. Okay, while
(23:41):
the race has been stable so far, mister Trump's dependence
on disengaged voters makes it easy to imagine how it
could quickly become more volatile as voters tune in over
the next six months. There's a chance that disengaged but
traditionally Democratic voters could revert to their usual partisan leanings. Alternately,
many of these disaffected voters might ultimately stay home, which
(24:03):
might help mister Biden. The Time's latest excuse for a
year of polls that have put a huge thumb on
the polling picture, on the entire coverage of the campaign,
on Democrats who have panicked and said get rid of
Joe Biden. The latest Times excuse for its intolerable indefensible
(24:25):
journalistic malpractice. Is Biden has not been reaching the non
voters who are non politically plugged in and are non
readers as well. What important factor might be the media consumption.
While mister Biden holds nearly all of his support from
voters who consume traditional mainstream media national newspapers, television networks
(24:45):
and the like, the disengaged are far likelier to report
getting their news from social media. Two things here. If
national newspapers have no sway on this election, why why
are we bothering to read their polls? Why are we
bothering to believe leave their polls? Why are we not
(25:08):
questioning the methodology of their polls? And the other thing,
If there's one thing we know for certain about social
media is that it's volatile and its influences are for
sale by the car load lot. If this really is
the crux of the problem, flood TikTok, flood insta, get
(25:30):
on all of them with Biden influencers. How much do
you think a million dollars will get you on TikTok?
And here's one idea minute long clips News from the
Future showing Trump jailing kids who are protesting, showing Trump
(25:51):
instituting a draft showing all flights being canceled because of
climate change because Trump sold all the oxygen after he
got re elected. Paint in broad strokes. In other words,
if this this is really about people who are influenced
by social media, largely younger people or even older people,
scare the crap out of them. And if that fails,
(26:15):
just run a lot of clips of de Niro with
the baseball bats. No one wants coffee after that. Also
of interest, here, who wants to be a millionaire? Jesus does?
A right wing pastor insists greed is good because Jesus
(26:38):
was a trust fund baby who was given a million
dollars at birth. And no, I'm not kidding, hallelujah, hallelujah.
I wonder if Jesus invested in bedkind. That's next. This
is Countdown.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
This is Countdown, with Keith Elberman.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Still ahead of us on this almost all new edition
of Countdown. There are football fans, and then there are
football fans who thought about failing everybody in the IVY
League history class they taught as revenge against the universe
because their team blew a game on a terrible, stupid
(27:46):
last second mistake, and of course I was in his
class and I loved him. Still. Next in things I
promised not to tell, but first, as ever, there are
still more new idiots to talk about. The daily roundup
of the misgrants, morons and Dunning Kruger effects specimens who
constitute two days worst persons in the world Theron's worst
(28:14):
Senator Lindsey Graham. We have all watched as Graham has
turned from an occasionally surprisingly responsible Republican into a bloated, psychotic,
hallucinating a biologist for Trump who looks like he's being
blackmailed with something really, really bad, and he has late
stage PTSD, and he looks like he might take hostages
(28:35):
at any moment. On the other hand, Lindsay Graham got
a lot of grief undeserved, I think for something he
said recently on Fox. He was schmoozing the idiots on
the Fox Morning Show couch where you go to sit
on your brains, and he was reassuring the challenged hosts
that no, they were not propagandizing for fascism, they were
(28:57):
standing up for freedom. The bottom line he is, Graham drawled,
conservatives are tolerant. We are kind of get out of
your business. You leave me alone, I'll leave you alone.
Needless to say, this has been met with guffaws, except
I think it was met with guffaws because people thought
(29:21):
when Lindsey Graham said tolerant, they thought he meant human tolerance,
like letting people believe what they want to believe, letting
women vote, letting minorities vote, letting Democrats vote, not trying
to destroy the Capitol because they lost an election and
they cannot deal with it. No, of course he didn't
mean that kind of tolerant. Lindsey Graham said exactly literally
(29:45):
what he meant. Let me read you that quote again.
Conservatives are tolerant. We are kind of get out of
your business. Take him literally here. Of course, Conservatives are
tolerant about your business. I mean he just said your
business business. They are get out of your business, conservatives,
especial if your business wants to cheat on its taxes,
(30:09):
or discriminate against gays, or payoff porn stars before an election,
or hire eight year olds to clean dangerous machinery, or
contribute billions of dollars to overthrowing democracy. That's what Lindsey
Graham meant by tolerant. Literally, get out of my business.
(30:30):
The runner's up Congress here is an enigma. A year ago,
last March, the House of Representatives passed a spending bill
that included required, mandated the construction, creation, and installation of
a plaque listing the names of the officers who served
at the capitol on January sixth, ordering that it be
(30:51):
installed when ready on the western front of our capital.
And fourteen months later, nothing, All quiet on the western
front of our capital, no plaque, and Presentative Zoe Lofgren's
letters to Speaker Mike Johnson about what he did with
the plaque have gone unanswered. Well, of course, you don't
(31:12):
have to be an expert to figure this one out.
The plaque would offend Trump because it would give official
sanction to the idea that the police were the good
guys on January sixth, and Trump's traders were the bad guys.
And Trump can't accept that. So Mike Johnson is slow
walking a plaque that you know, backs the Blue, because
(31:39):
Trump and the Republicans don't back the Blue. On the
other hand, Monday Memorial Day, a man named Ben Pollock,
the proud father of not one, but two insurrectionist bastards,
who attacked the Capitol and the cops on January sixth
led a convoy that tried to force its way into
Arlington National Cemetery on Memorial Day to install there in
(32:01):
the nation's most hallowed ground, a stone reading in honor
of the ones who lost their lives on jan six,
twenty twenty one, starting with Ashley Babbitt, and then there
were three other names of insurrectionists or whatever garbage they were.
When stopped by authorities this Yahoo Pollock got out live
(32:24):
streaming this, and he insisted that Ashley Babbitt should be
buried there quote right up there with mister Lee. And again,
the appalling glorification of Traders is one thing. I'm afraid
we're sort of used to that. But the continuously amazing
part to me is the endless stupidity of these idiots,
because while Arlington National Cemetery was once the mansion of
(32:48):
Robert E. Lee, Robert E. Lee Trader is in fact
buried at Washington and Lee University in Lexington, Virginia, where
he was president when he died, which they could have
googled if only they were smart enough to think. I
wonder if I might be wrong out something in life PostScript,
(33:08):
speaking of which one of the other names printed on
that rock, And it's a rock with white paint on
it and names then stenciled on it in black, and
it looks like crap. It looks like a large frozen
turkey from the A and P. One of the names
on there is a woman named Roseanne Boyland, and these
geniuses misspelled her name Roseanne. But our winner, Pastor Shane Vaughan.
(33:38):
We visited with Pastor Shane before, courtesythefine folks at Friendlyatheist
dot com. Pastor Shane was the one who said he
had to be careful. He could not go on his
live stream and call Joy Read of MSNBC a quote
jungle bunny. And of course he said those exact words
while claiming he was not saying them, because all you
(34:00):
need to do is look at this guy and you
realize that he has the ethics of the most corrupt
insurance agent you've ever met. Pastor Shane has moved on
to defending himself after what appears to have been a
spate of complaints because he's been caught driving around in
a Cadillac. Even his parishioners are wondering why so. Pastor
(34:23):
Shane did another stream of some sort, just attacked all
his own faithful who think maybe pastors shouldn't be rich.
Speaker 3 (34:33):
For some reason. There is this messed up thinking in
the minds of people that pastors are to be poor.
And I don't know. For example, this vehicle I'm driving
right here, people look at it. Yes, it's a very
extensive vehicle, very very But what you don't know is
(34:57):
I didn't buy it. You didn't know that, did you.
That's because you got your nose in places and you
don't even know what you're talking about. This was given
to me. You understand that people don't know those things.
It's none of their business. But yes, I drive a
Cadillact that I did not buy. Do you think I'm
(35:21):
just gonna throw it in the ditch because it was
given to me?
Speaker 1 (35:25):
So religious vows of poverty and whatnot just nonsense, utter nonsense,
says Pastor Shane. Why look at Jesus, Jesus, Jesus is
your defense for driving a Cadillac. I can't wait to
see how this plays out. Jesus, according to Pastor Shane,
(35:48):
was a trust fund baby.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
Where do we get this thing from that? Anybody in
the world can be blessed except a pastor. Where did
that thinking come from? People say, well, Jesus didn't even
have a place to lay his head, you poor uneducated
Bible reader. Go look. I believe in the Book of
(36:13):
Mark where it says the total opposite. It says that
they were at Jesus's.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
House, his home. He had a home.
Speaker 3 (36:23):
What do you think Yashua did with all the money
that was brought to him at his birth? Do you
know what was brought to him from the kings of
the East Gold Frankensons, mrkh Do you know how much
that was worth in today's dollars? Almost a million dollars
(36:43):
was given to the baby Jesus. What do you think
financed his life? What do you think financed his ministry?
Supernatural finances?
Speaker 1 (36:52):
Hallelujah and pass the tax deductions? Supernatural finances. Million dollar baby,
million dollar Jesus, hallelujah, a million dollar Jesus. Okay, we
can make fun of Pastor Shane with the ethics of
a corrupt insurance agent, and God knows we will make
(37:13):
fun of him, but I do have to offer a
little factual analysis of his rationalization. His biblical greed is
good because Jesus had a million dollars at birth. People
who take the Bible seriously but also believe in like
you know. Historical research have concluded that if you superimposed
(37:33):
today's economics on the world of two thousand years ago,
a pound of frankincense would be worth in today's money
five hundred dollars, a pound of gold would be worth
six hundred dollars, and a pound of murrh four thousand dollars. Hey,
forget buying any of that gold. Let's invest in murr.
(37:55):
In short, it would be as if putin King Charles
and Trump gave Jesus twenty twenty four fifty one hundred
bucks supernatural finances. You betcha hallelujah. Pastor Shane Vaughn can't add,
can't count, can't do math, can't lie well, which is
(38:19):
really a problem because he actually is an insurance agent
as well. Can I pay you later past your insurance
agent when my supernatural finances come through?
Speaker 2 (38:31):
Two days? Worst person.
Speaker 4 (38:37):
In the world?
Speaker 2 (38:40):
Where where are you? Tone? Why did you need me? Me?
Speaker 1 (38:46):
Roll alone? I searched the world.
Speaker 4 (38:50):
Over and a thought of about your love, But you
made another and he was gone.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
The number one story on the countdown, and why don't
we just make this stuff from my college days week?
I know, I know, there's a really good chance you
still have not finished yesterday's things. I promised not to
tell about how I had to take twenty eight credits
ten classes in my last semester of college just to
(39:24):
graduate on time because Dad wouldn't pay for a dollar's
worth after that one semester, and I had to walk
up hill in the snow both ways. Had to take
twenty eight credits in my last semester of college just
to graduate on time, And how because of that I
have endured nearly half a century of dreams about not
graduating on time. I know I went on for a
(39:46):
bit about this subject, like about half an hour. Sorry anyway,
this story is two semesters before that, and much much shorter.
It was the fall of my senior year at Cornell,
and it's about a four credit course that I nearly failed,
in fact, that every but in the class nearly failed
because a quarterback fumbled a football in an NFL game. Seriously,
(40:15):
in September nineteen seventy eight, I walked reluctantly but proudly
into this one class at Cornell University, and if I
remember correctly, to get into nineteenth century American history with
Professor Joel Silby eight credits spanning two semesters, I had
to get special permission from the History department because I
(40:36):
was not a history major. I just took all the
history classes I could get, even this one, which was
really toughly graded, an awful lot of reading, amazing amount
of detail, and really good. Not only was Professor Silby
really good, but the reading material was outstanding. I took
(40:57):
all the Corneill history classes I could get, and this
was one of the best ones. And I remember Profess
Sir Sylby's first lecture and the accent and the mannerisms
that quickly identified him not only as a fellow native
New Yorker, but as a Brookly Knight and a Brookly
Knight fan of as he quickly told us the New
York football giants. What Professor Joel Silbey said next, cause
(41:22):
the I think it was two hundred or so other
students in the lecture hall to laugh, all of them
except me, because I was the sports director of the
Cornhill student owned radio station, and in those days you
could actually know everything about and everybody in all the
national sports off the top of your head, and usually
(41:42):
that meant you could figure out all the teams in
all the sports that had the slightest chance of succeeding,
and all the teams in all the sports that did not.
And the New York Football Giants did not. I want
you to know I grade the papers, not the teaching
assistants me and I happened to be a lifelong, therefore
long suffering fan of the New York Football Giants. I
(42:03):
saw my first Giant game in nineteen forty five, and
over the years I happened to developed this habit of
grading your papers on Sunday afternoons and evenings right after
I watch my New York Football Giants. So, to some
degree great or small, your grade will depend on how
well the New York Football Giants do. In this nineteen
(42:24):
seventy eight National Football League season, one hundred and ninety
nine of Joel Sylbe's students laughed. I emitted a low moan,
since they had gone to five NFL championship games in
the six seasons ending in nineteen sixty three and lost
all five. By the way, the Giants had had exactly
(42:46):
two winning seasons and they had lost nine of fourteen
games the year before nineteen seventy seven. Though they had
opened this nineteen seventy eight season with a narrow victory
over a very bad Tampa Bay team, and the first
half of their schedule had as many as four more
opponents who they might be better than. They would be lucky
to win two games in the second half of the season.
(43:07):
When I got back to the radio station, I looked
at the Giants' schedule and Professor Silbey's class schedule, and
I circled one critical day when the schedules converged, Sunday,
November nineteenth, nineteen seventy eight. Our term papers were due
on Thursday the sixteenth. He could actually read them all
(43:27):
after the Giants Eagles game that night in the following day. Amazingly,
your New York Football Giants actually opened the season winning
three of their first four. In the middle of October,
they were still five and three, and in the history
lecture room, Professor Sylby was very happy, and he often
recreated highlights of his glorious giants pleasing success. And he
(43:48):
was furiously fanboying on the new quarterback they'd brought in
from the Canadian League Joe Pisarchik. If you are a
football history fan, or god forbid, a fan of the
New York Football Giants, you already know where I'm going
with this. The Giants lost the next three games, and
then our term papers were due on November sixteenth, and
(44:11):
Joel Sylbey turned morose and I was at the radio
station watching the Giants Eagles game of the nineteenth on
a big black and white TV in the lounge when
my nightmare unfolded impossibly. The Giants led the much better
Philadelphia Eagles fourteen nothing. After the first quarter. Pisarcik threw
two touchdown passes. After the third quarter, it was still
(44:33):
seventeen to six Giants. Then the Eagles scored and they
were driving to go ahead with a minute and a
half left in the game, when the impossible happened deep
in Giants' territory. The Philly quarterback threw an interception with
eighty three seconds left and in possession of the ball.
The Giants led seventeen thirteen. The crowd at the radio
station was ecstatic. I was even more ecstatic. All the
(44:57):
Giants now had to do was stall and have the
quarterback fall on the ball, maybe twice, as if he
had heard me. Quarterback Joe Pisarchik fell on the ball.
Then he nearly killed me by handing the ball off
to his running back Larry Zanka, who plowed up the
middle to get a first down and burn another thirty
seconds off the clock. The Eagles called their last time out,
(45:19):
thirty one seconds left, thirty one seconds to my grade
in Joel Silbey's nineteenth century American history class, probably ending
up being half or maybe even a full grade better
than I deserved. All Joe Pisarchik had to do was
fall on the damn ball again.
Speaker 2 (45:34):
And it was over.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
However, on the Giant's sideline, offensive coordinator Bob Gibson decided
that the safe play, the winning play, was for Jopisarcik
to hand the ball off again to Larry Zanka. Now
that might have been the right play, only Bob Gibson
and everybody else failed to tell Larry Zanka. Larry Zanka
(45:57):
assumed he was there just to block for Joe Pisarcik.
As Joe Pisarcik collapsed to the turf and ran out
the clock and got me a better grind instead, Pisarchik
handed the ball to where Zanka's hands should have been,
except Larry Zanka was in the blocking stance, and Pisarchik
in fact handed it off directly to Larry Zanka's helmet.
(46:17):
I screamed. The ball bounced once off the turf and
directly into the hands of Philadelphia cornerback Herman Edwards. I
continued to scream. There was nobody near Edwards, and he
scooted twenty six yards into the end zone and the
Giants lost the damn game nineteen to seventeen. In the
last seconds, And as the Giants fans at the radio
station shouted or moaned or swore, I could see Professor
(46:39):
Joel Sylvie shutting off the TV, grabbing our papers and
sentencing us to hell, and I continued to scream. Our
term papers were returned on Tuesday the twenty first, just
before school broke for Thanksgiving. I actually was thankful I
got either a B or a B plus. I can't
(46:59):
find the paper. It should be somewhere in a box.
There was a rumor which I was never able to confirm,
that my B or B plus was the highest grade
in the class. I can confirm I saw classmates, most
far more prepared and astute than myself, most of them
history majors, looking at their grades and blanching visibly. One
(47:20):
girl cried, a C, really a C. Professor Joel Silbey said,
much of our grade would depend on how well the
New York Football Giants did in that nineteen seventy eight
national football season. And my god, they had just sustained
a loss so bad that it is still talked about
to this day. My classmates did not listen, and I
(47:42):
only am escaped alone to tell thee there is a PostScript.
The PostScript takes place thirty two and one half years later.
I returned to Cornell in March of twenty eleven to
give a lecture and teach a series of classes to
students who no longer afterwards felt they had got in
(48:04):
their full money from the university. My alma mater was
very kind to me. They gave me a tour of
the secret places they never would have shown me when
I was a struggling student, like where they kept Cornell's
copy of the Gettysburg address. And they promised me something
special for lunch the first day, and sure enough I
was dropped off at a restaurant, and there, rising from
(48:25):
a table to greet me with applause, were Cornell's official
historian and former Professor Glenn alt Schuller and their very
famous history professor Walter LaFeber, and I swear Professor Joel Silby,
and they were fans of mine. Of course, I could
not leave well enough alone. After a few minutes of
(48:47):
very pleasant conversation with mister alt Schuller and Professor la
Faber and Professor Silby, I brought up the nineteen seventy
eight term paper Joe pisarcik Handoff Story. Professor la Faber
looked at Professor Silby like Professor Silby was out of
his mind? Is that true? And Sylbey smiled and said, yes,
yes it is. And then Joel Silbey looked off into
(49:11):
the distance as if he were peering backwards through time.
Nineteen seventy eight, that's when you could really enjoy being
a professor. He then looked back at me and smiled, Keith,
you won't believe this, but I actually graded those papers
pretty fairly, and I didn't follow through on my original plan.
(49:32):
After the fumble, I actually turned off the TV and
I sat there for a few minutes, and I asked
my soul if it was okay for me to take
my revenge on the universe by failing all of you.
The favorite gulped. Oh, said Sylby. It was so great
to be a professor back then. I laughed so much
(49:54):
I had tears in my eyes. And then Sylby said, okay, okay,
maybe I was a little unfair to you guys, but
you know it's the Giants and you have to take
this as as a whole. The year they won their first
Super Bowl, what was that eighty six? The final exam
in that class was like two days after they finished
the regular season, fourteen and two, eight o'clock in the morning.
(50:14):
So I go to the final see, which I never do.
And I waited until they were all sitting there sweating,
and I said, remember last September when I told you
your grade will depend on how well the New York
Football Giants doing this nineteen eighty six National Football League season,
And there was just silence, and I said, well, if
you didn't notice, they went fourteen and two, and I
(50:36):
haven't been this happy since when they won the title
in nineteen fifty six. So guess what, there's no final exam,
and nobody moved, so I said it again, there's no
final exam, Go home, go study for something else. You'
all get a's. And then there was a couple of
seconds of silence, and they all simultaneously realized I was
not kidding, and everybody cheered and ran out into the sunshine.
(51:01):
So with me and professors Alt Schuler and la Faber
now in tears, Sylby said, see it evens out, and
I said, the hell it does. I graduated in nineteen
seventy nine. How does a canceled final in nineteen eighty
six even it out?
Speaker 2 (51:16):
For me?
Speaker 1 (51:16):
Fella Joel Silby thought for a second and then he said, wow,
I am buying you lunch. I've done all the damage
(51:38):
I can do here. Thank you for listening. Countdown. Musical
directors Brian Ray and John Phillip Chanel arranged, produced, and
performed most of our music. Mister Ray was on guitars, bass,
and drums, and mister Shanelle handled orchestration and keyboards, and
it was produced by Tko Brothers. Other music, including some
of the aetoven compositions, arranged and performed by No Horns Allowed.
(51:59):
The sports music is the Olberman theme from ESPN two,
written by Mitch Warren Davis Curtis of ESPN, Inc. Where
or Where Are You Tonight? Was from heehaw in about
nineteen seventy and I sang that a cappella. Our satirical
and pithy musical comments are by Nancy Faust, the best
baseball stadium organist ever. Our announcer was my friend John Dean,
(52:20):
and everything else was pretty much my fault, especially singing
a cappella. So that's countdown for this the one hundred
and sixty second day until the twenty twenty four presidential election,
the one two hundred and thirty ninth day since Dictator
Jay Trump's first attempted coup against the democratically elected government
of the United States. Use the legal system, use the
(52:42):
mental health system, use presidential immunity if it happens, use
the not regularly given elector objection to stop him from
doing it again while we still can. The next scheduled
countdown is tomorrow bulletins as the news warrants till then,
I'm Keith Ulberman, good morning, good afternoon, good night, and
(53:04):
good luck. Supernatural Finances Countdown with Keith Oldman is a
production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the
iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Host
Keith Olbermann
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