Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. Heir
of the Countdown Monday headline. Republican candidate domestic Jay terrorist
has now broken the record for the most sharks jumped
in a single day. Electric sharks with fricking laser beams
(00:28):
on their heads, no less. Trump now claiming he was
the target of another assassination attempt in which none of
it happened nearer than four hundred yards away from him,
and there's no video, and the preliminary ID of the
suspect shows a career criminal who was posting about his
dream ticket Nikki Hailey and Vivek Ramaswami. And within minutes,
(00:51):
Trump was fundraising off the event and trying to erase
the memory of a post he had made earlier in
the same day, in which he declared, without context or rationality, quote,
I hate Taylor Swift unquote. Meanwhile, his running mate JV
Vance has convassed on national television that he quote creates
(01:12):
unquote stories like this lie about a city in the
state he represents in the Senate, a lie that has
led to the evacuation of schools there, of a hospital,
of a university and city offices and if he cannot
be forced to resign his office, there must be at
minimum on the Senate floor today a motion to expel
(01:32):
or at least censure JD. Vance oh and Kamala Harris's
lead over this procession of train wrecks, so many train
wrecks that some of them wrecked while still at the station,
some of them wrecked while still in the train sheds.
Kamala Harris's lead has extended to six points among likely voters.
(01:52):
Trump first, and for once, it is not me dropping
the T word on him. It is his niece Mary.
Quote Donald J. Trump is a domestic terrorist unquote fact check.
I thought we had established this in twenty sixteen hens
the bombitas in Springfield, Ohio.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
I don't know what happened with the bomb threats. I
know that it's been taken over by illegal migrants, and
that's a terrible thing that happened. Springfield was this beautiful
town and now they're going through hell.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
The correct answer to any question sounding like do you
denounce the bomb threat is yes. Trump is of course
incapable of that. Therefore he is now an accessory to
whatever happens in Springfield, Ohio. But of course, if somebody
is seen with a gun near his golf course while
he is playing on it, And how could they have
(02:46):
ever known when Trump would be playing golf. That is
an assassination attempt, according to Trump, and he is a martyr,
and this was ordered by the Pope or somebody, and
Laura Loomer will be rushing to the scene to serve
as an almost human shield and stop any bullets with
her six inch thick application of makeup or his. It
(03:13):
will never ever ever dawn on any of these people
that this is the America they wanted, and that this
is the America they have gotten. Spend a decade telling
people in not so veiled words to commit acts of
political violence, and you can't suddenly announce. But I didn't
mean acts of political violence against me. Twice now somebody,
(03:37):
I'll note again the first guy was another MAGA Republican
gun nut who just wanted to shoot somebody. Twice. Now
somebody wanted to shoot Trump. And still not one of
them will entertain the thought of just banning those kinds
of weapons. The shooters had AK forty seven, this time,
apparently four days ago in Tucson, Trump literally praised AK
(03:59):
forty seven's as if they were beautiful women. There is
literally no sin in his or their brains that could
tie statements like that to what happened or, more correctly,
what didn't happen yesterday. There is also no synaps in
their brains that could correctly answer the question, would you
rather ban just AK forty seven's in AR fifteen's and
(04:23):
the like just those, or would you rather let somebody
else try to shoot at Trump with one of them
for a guy whose cheese whiz is sliding off his
ritz cracker with ever increasing speed. Trump had an amazingly
busy Sunday. The I Hate Taylor Swift post is actually real,
(04:45):
actually fueled by something in his brain that thought it
was somehow a good idea. It was followed exactly twenty
minutes later by the failing New York Times is a
true threat to democracy, which was either about the Times
peace on John Roberts customizing Supreme Court rulings to Trump's
life kings, or Trump has just joined our cause and
(05:08):
was complaining about the latest in this Ohio diner. Times
both sides this nonsense, or and I confess, for just
a second I dreamed things that never were and asked
why not and thought maybe he's referring to a letter
to the editor in The Times, the one with the
headline held involuntarily in a psychiatric hospital, which continues to
(05:36):
be the best possible compromise here. That will never be
because early yesterday morning, Trump also posted, the Democrats are
destroying our country. Reverse deportation immediately. And I spent a
couple of hours on this, and not only don't I
know what he meant, but I can't find anybody who
(05:56):
does know what he meant. Reverse deportation. That would have
to be forcing foreign people into this country, and that
would be a policy twist for Trump that would outdo
even his about face on TikTok. Or maybe reverse deportation
(06:16):
would have to mean that the nation must stop all
plans to deport anybody out of here, in which case
you better look around the room for Steven Miller's head,
because it presumably exploded. Trump was replying to a complaint
from one of his cultists about other cities in Alabama
where local leaders Republicans, by the way, also invited immigrants
(06:39):
to come in and work jobs that incumbent Americans would
not take in places incumbent Americans would not live communities
like Springfield, Ohio have been reborn. It is a story
of America as old as the nation itself because of
the immigrants, because in the Ohio case of the Haitians,
but of course Susan from Silicaga, Alabama wants the increase
(07:03):
in her tax base, but without all them people of color.
Because that is the other story of America that is
as old as the nation itself, which brings us back
to JD. Vance. The Ohio state representative Casey Weinstein District
thirty four Akron has called on Vance to resign because
(07:25):
Vance actually did go on national television and tell CNN's
Dana Bash, who largely redeemed herself in this interview, that
he had quote to create stories unquote like the non
existent cat eaters of Springfield, Ohio. Create. He used the
word create and then tried to back away from the
(07:46):
word create later create stories, and then he said he
would do it again.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
The American media totally ignored this stuff until Donald Trump
and I start talking about cat means if I have to,
if I have to mean create stories so that the
American media actually pays it attention to the suffering of
the American people. Then That's what I'm going to do, Dana,
because you guys are completely letting Kamala Harris coast.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
The senator from Ohio, stochastically terrorizing the city of Springfield, Ohio,
school and university shootings, threatened businesses, closed families, hiding indoors, migrants,
and there are five thousand of them in the entire state.
There aren't twenty thousand in the city or two hundred
(08:34):
thousand in the city of Springfield. And these overcrowded schools
there are in fact still below pre pandemic enrollment levels.
And you have heard otherwise because JD. Vance is a
remorseless propagandist and a racist who is literally willing to
torch his own state and get people who voted for
(08:56):
him killed to benefit those he really represents, the billionaire
fascists like Donald J. Trump. He has no place in government.
It does not appear, even has Trump's excuse of insanity
setting aside for the moment the question of the election,
there must be a move to expel him from the
(09:17):
Senate today because also Springfield, Ohio is actually a dry run.
In fact, it is two dry runs for things that
are far, far worse. The first is Trump has now
revealed the real goal here to deport not just undocumented
immigrants in this country, but the ones who are here
officially and fully legally. Presumably that was what Trump was
(09:41):
supposed to write when he garbled the message and demanded
reverse deportation. And they are already gearing up the next
locations to try this out, in the ones in Alabama
I mentioned before, and at Charleroy in Pennsylvania, where the
racists true fears are being realized, where immigrants are fitting in,
(10:02):
assimilating and by the way, working harder than the people
who had already lived there and rebirthing their communities. The
second dry run is more dire still. I am patching
things together here, not quoting inside information. But if you
wanted to see if you could get maga thugs to
disrupt election day by targeting a town or a city
(10:26):
or part of a swing state that was heavily democratic,
say Atlanta, Georgia, or could be Madison, Wisconsin, could be anywhere,
if you wanted to estimate now just how much of
an impact you could have merely by spreading plausibly deniable
rumors about immigration terrorism cat eating. If you wanted to
(10:49):
make bomb threats well, here's your dry run. Sick your
cowardly terrorists on. Throw a dart, find a map, and
throw a dart oh Springfield, Ohio. Sick your cowardly terrorists
on Springfield, Ohio, and see how many people they will
threaten to kill and how many locations like schools, universities,
(11:12):
public offices, locations where there will be polling stations on
November fifth. Find out how many of them will have
to be shut down, how loud you have to get
before those idiots who believe in you will stochastically act
on your behalf and terrorize a community on election day.
Because for all the handwringing over the falsehoods about Springfield,
(11:35):
Ohio that Governor Mike Dwine, a Republican who is retiring, made,
he could not bring himself to blame Trump or the
national GOP, Nor could the Republican Ohio Senate candidate Bernie
Moreno or Lieutenant Governor John Houston or Attorney General Yost
or Secretary of State LaRose. Because this is a dry run,
(11:57):
because Trump's chances of winning, and increasingly Republican Senate, House
and gubernatorial chances of winning are shrinking with every passing day,
and Trump will, and they will resort to anything to
change that. Remember, at all times, Trump's life literally depends
on winning this election. His nobody else's his. He will
(12:21):
kill you to win. He would kill jd Vance to win.
Scaring people into staying home on November fifth is in
fact one of the gentler and lazier of Republican options
to affect the election. It is also, happily one that
(12:41):
can be thwarted by early voting. New version of that
(13:08):
from Brian Ray. It'll have its world premiere at the
end of this bulletin. I'll play it in full. The lead,
by the way, is six ABC News ipsos Harrows fifty two,
Trump forty six among likely voters. And that is without
a debate bump yet. And remember Nate Silver's actually useful
observation that debate bumps often take weeks to show up. Interestingly,
(13:31):
in the ABC poll, her lead did grow one point
among all adults. The real polling news, the Des Moines Register,
last bothered to look in June, when it was Trump
fifty Biden thirty two. In polling that finished last Wednesday
and was published yesterday, it is Trump forty seven, Harris
(13:53):
forty three. That's likely voters. Among Iowa women, they favor
her fifty three forty six, and the polls shows intent
to vote jumps between six and ten points for various
key demographics. City dwellers, women, college degree holders, and those
under forty five now between six and ten points more
(14:15):
likely to vote than they were in June. Iowa may
be a swing state in Wisconsin. Insider Advantage polls a
month ago, Trump by one is now Harris by two.
Likely voters at Yugov and Tip Insights have the national
(14:35):
race at Harris plus four. Born in Consult Harris plus five,
ABC Harris plus six. The other headlines, Laura Loomer has
threatened to sue Bill Maher for defamation from implying Friday
(14:59):
Night that she's having an affair with Trumpey. Of all,
who in the hell do I root for here? I mean,
what kind of choice is this? Laura Lumer or Bill Maher?
How about just a really long, painful discovery. But more importantly,
there is actually a story in this. Lumer, in threatening
(15:23):
to sue him for defamation, is claiming that claiming that
somebody is having a relationship with Trump defames that person.
My god, she's right about something ah, but for the
previous Laura Lumer Marjorie Taylor Green, not so much. Eighth
(15:45):
eight am. The ABC whistleblower who claimed Kamala Harris was
given debate questions ahead of the debate has died in
a car crash. According to news reports twelve thirty five PM,
this story appears to be false and I'm glad to
hear it. Whatever you say, Barnie. According to news reports
(16:07):
from I Made This Up News, the whistleblower has in
fact died in Ohio because he was eaten by cats.
(16:29):
Those are the Countdown Monday headlines for this the including
today fifty first day until the twenty twenty four election.
A full edition of Countdown Tomorrow bulletins is the news
warrants until then. I'm Keith Olderman. Good morning, good afternoon,
good night, and good luck, and as promised, a premiere,
a world premiere for one special listener out there named
(16:53):
Brian Ray It's ninety one Trombones. The Riff Edition. Countdown
(19:40):
with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. For more
podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
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