January 19, 2024 • 40 mins
SERIES 2 EPISODE 109: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: Acting on his behalf, Trump's attorneys enlarged on his threat of ten days ago and told the Supreme Court that if it did not do what he wants it to do, "chaos and bedlam" would ensue throughout the country.
It's stochastic terrorism. Again. Always.
Enough. Right or wrong, more than twenty years ago the government of this country utilized a process to detain those who made terroristic plans or threats against the nation. It involved an off-mainland site called Gitmo. And there were additional "black sites" around the world for use for when there were the added complications of American citizenship involved.
It's time to send Trump there.
I'd rather deal with the consequences of Trump at Gitmo than with him continuing to threaten this nation, or, worse yet, seizing power and ending all representative government here.
Ironically this newest threat occurred less than a day after Trump made two unexpected (and, probably, unknowing) admissions. While he wants there to BE "presidential immunity" (that's what the terror threat against the Supreme Court was about) he acknowledged it doesn't currently exist. He also confessed that he had made "mistakes" as president and compared himself to a "rogue cop."
B-BLOCK (21:00) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: Nikki Haley blows off "No Labels." And she might still be alive in the Trump ticket VP race. (25:05) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Since when does "fist" work in the weather forecast? Larry Elder says The Deep State is suppressing his Twitter follower count. And Tucker Carlson accuses the Trump Government of planting the January 5/6 pipe bombs and I'm just guessing but I don't think he meant to.
C-BLOCK (31:30) FRIDAYS WITH THURBER: Even in 1937 America was dumbing down. Thurber's bitterly hilarious story of a woman who hated the Shakespeare she had to read because it didn't conform to the rules of paperback fiction: "The MacBeth Murder Mystery."
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. It
is now time to arrest Donald Trump and detain him
(00:25):
at GITMO. By this point, it is impossible to be
shocked anymore. But Trump's attorneys have now stochastically threatened the
Supreme Court and again threatened the nation with quote bedlam unquote,
oh and chaos, chaos, and bedlam in their filing to
(00:47):
the Supreme Court demanding that it overrule the Colorado fourteenth
Amendment disqualification finding and similar attempts in other states and
in other court cases. Trump's lawyers last night wrote that
the bids to enforce the constitution quote threatened to disenfranchise
tens of millions of Americans and promise to unleash chaos
(01:08):
and bedlam unquote. Trump's stochastic threats of terror, of bloodshed,
of violence, of disorder, and now of chaos and bedlam
are so numerous that there is no accurate counting of them.
They are, in fact so numerous that Trump is now
(01:31):
into reruns. Trump January ninth. They feel this is the
way they're going to try and win, and that's not
the way it goes. It will be bedlam in the
country if you said that, and then nine days later
your lawyers told the Supreme Court of the United States
that if it did not rule in your favor, that
chaos and bedlam would be unleashed. And you made sure
(01:55):
you put the word promise in there before those other
loaded words. You would be arrested for making terroristic threats,
especially if you were now making them on an average
of one every ten days or so. I no longer
care about the institutional consequences long term or even this November.
(02:21):
Abraham Lincoln did not care about the institutional consequences long
term when he had to count on the elasticity of
those institutions in order to save this nation by inventing
things like war powers and ignoring Supreme Court rulings in
eighteen sixty one and sixty two and three and four
and five. Subsequent generations were left to deal with the
(02:44):
consequences of those things, and none of them have shirked
that responsibility nor suggested Lincoln was wrong. We are at
that point again where the future of this country requires
a willingness if the conservative traditions will serve only to
enable a madman to droyd the United States to go
(03:06):
beyond the conservative traditions. Donald Trump is a terrorist. He
is threatening sweeping political violence, chaos, and bedlam if he
does not get his way, that is by definition terrorism.
He should be detained today. I believe we have an
(03:29):
off the mainland facility where we have kept people which
previous presidential administrations have determined, without slowing themselves down and
worrying overdue process, were terrorists. I believe there is probably
a current equivalent of the black sites that previous presidential
administrations have used when the level of complexity was raised
(03:52):
by the fact that the terrorist suspect was also an
American citizen. The Biden administration should use these processes, these precedents,
these locations, and use them now. There certainly will be consequences,
serious and untold and perhaps at this point unimaginable and bluntly,
no matter what the hell they are, they will be
(04:14):
better and easier to address than letting Trump continue to
threaten the nation and perhaps regain the power to control
the nation and end all semblance of representative government in
the nation. Dealing with Trump in Gitmo in twenty twenty
four will be a hell of a lot easier than
(04:35):
dealing with Trump in the White House. In twenty twenty
five until he decides when to leave. The irony of
timing That filing comes barely sixteen hours after two utterly
(04:56):
unexpected and presumably utterly unknowing confessions by Trump. Quote a
president of the United States must have full immunity, even
events that quote cross the line unquote must fall under
total immunity. Trump panicking, trying to fight through the fog
(05:19):
of his disintegrating mind to convince himself he will not
die in prison posting on social media literally at two
o'clock in the morning, but in so doing accomplishing something.
I don't think people are recognizing that social media post
about crossing the line and full immunity, that is a confession.
(05:44):
And yes, the obvious non confession things are still true.
Combine this with his lawyer's arguments to the DC Appeals
Court and now the Supreme Court, and yes, Trump is
arguing a president could order an ex president killed or
you killed, and he would never be prosecuted for it.
And yes, what he describes is not a president's immunity
(06:09):
but a dictator's immunity. And yes, no president has ever
had total immunity, no president has ever needed total immunity.
Even Richard Nixon, who infamously said, and he was three
years out of office when he said it, well, when
the president does it, that means that it is not illegal.
Even Nixon came back sixteen days later in a twenty
five hundred word statement to the old newspaper of the
(06:32):
Washington Star, and he also said, quote, I do not
believe and would not argue that a president is above
the law. Of course he is not. And Nixon then
went on to say he meant legal latitude in emergencies
like Lincoln during the Civil War, if you've heard that
from anybody recently. But lost in the horror of that
(06:56):
Trump post is the confession in Trump's post. It is,
in fact two confessions. The first to the fact that
even he realizes that there is not now anything like
presidential immunity, and he wants it established. And all his
language in that post is in the future tense or
(07:17):
the hypothetical. And forgive me for parsing the rantings of
a madman, but this is a confession that what he
is now asking a district court to give him, and
what he will almost certainly then ask the Supreme Court
to give him if he has not killed its members.
By then, what he is going to ask them does
not currently exist. Quote. A president of the United States
(07:40):
must have full immunity, without which it would be impossible
for him her to properly function. Any mistake, even if
well intended, would be met with almost certain indictment by
the opposing party Unquote. Firstly, no previous former president has
ever been indicted with the Department of Justice under the
(08:02):
other parti's control or under the control of his own party.
Nixon expected to be expected to be indicted by a
DOJ run by Republicans. Nixon was pardoned. Probably most presidents
have broken the law. George W. Bush certainly did with torture.
Obama confirmed before his own inauguration that his administration would
(08:25):
not pursue anybody for torturing prisoners. Reagan broke the law
and around contras certainly in other areas. Probably what Trump
is saying here is that from now on, any president
who breaks the law will be prosecuted as an act
of political revenge and on the facts. He's mistaken, of course,
but the premise is not insane. Certainly, it is not
(08:45):
as insane as the previous version of this claim that
all presidents have had immunity. This is something different. He
is asking for something for the future. There is also
something else in those opening two sentences that is of importance,
But I want come back to that separately, and I
(09:05):
will do so in a moment. To resume quoting what
might be the most revelatory Trump statement ever quote. Even
events that cross the line must fall under total immunity,
or it will be years of trauma trying to determine
good from bad. There must be certainty. Again, you can
take this as another threat or as a prediction. Either way,
(09:26):
it's not crazy. It may be wrong, but it is
not crazy. Resuming the quotation example, you can't stop police
from doing the job of strong and effective crime prevention
because you want to guard against the occasional rogue cop
or bad apple. Sometimes you just have to live with
great but slightly imperfect. All presidents must have complete and
(09:48):
total presidential immunity, or the authority and decisiveness of a
president of the United States will be stripped and gone forever.
Hopefully this will be an easy decision. God bless the
Supreme Court unquote the court he would threaten with chaos
and bedlam less than a day later ignore the self congratulation,
(10:10):
the self pity, and his new mandatory dragging of God
into this, which is part of the Trump twenty twenty
four god con roll out I mentioned earlier in the week.
To me, the keys in this are one that he
posits presidential immunity is something that does not currently exist,
and whether he knows it or not, that means that
if it were to be established as he hopes, it
(10:32):
could not be done so retroactively. It would not apply
to the Trump presidency of twenty seventeen to twenty twenty one.
So that's the first confession. Whether he meant to confess
or he did not mean to confess, he confessed. He
confessed there is not presidential immunity. He just wants there
to be. The second confession is subtler. Let me read
(10:57):
its two components. A president of the United States must
have full immunity, without which it would be impossible for
him her to properly function any mistake, even if well intended,
et cetera mistake. There is the implication here that Trump
(11:18):
may be trying to pass off his crimes as mistakes. Outlandish,
of course, but even for him to approach confessing to
mere mistakes is startling mistakes. January sixth was not a
beautiful day. There weren't good people on both sides in Charlottesville.
(11:39):
Trying to get the vice president hanged was an oopsie.
Also note that Trump later in this post compares himself
to the quote occasional rogue copper bad apple and says
you just have to live with great but slightly imperfect unquote.
In anybody else, this would read like a mass murderer
(12:01):
claiming he only meant the first ten or twelve. Come on,
But coming from Trump, I'm not ignoring his attempt to
pass off a threat against Biden and Obama and Clinton
as some civic minded plea. But coming from Trump, this
almost reads like borderline self awareness and a plea bargain.
(12:23):
Don't send me to prison or disqualify me from the ballot.
I'm just a rogue cop, a bad apple, great but
slightly imperfect. I made a mistake. Don't get me wrong.
I am not suggesting for a moment that Trump has
had an epiphany here, maybe a Freudian slip. The Supreme
(12:48):
Court filing threatening chaos and bedlam confirms no epiphanies round
this house. And we know offered a deal this minute,
in which he has to personally kill every member of
his own family, but he regains power and avoids prison.
He would do it before our first commercial break Elsewhere.
(13:13):
After weeks of letting, speculation and fear fill the news void,
Fulton County, Georgia, District Attorney Fannie Willis has finally said
something about the accusation that could wreck the Trump case
there and what she has said is as explosive as
what was said about her. This charge from the wife
of the attorney Willis hired as a prosecutor in the
(13:34):
Trump case, that her husband and Willis were having an affair.
The wife, Joycelyn Wade, is quote using the legal process
to harass and embarrassed District Attorney Willis, and in doing so,
is obstructing and interfering with an ongoing criminal prosecution. The
filing to the court hearing the prosecutions continues, Missus Wade
(13:55):
quote has conspired with interested parties in the criminal election
interference case to use the civil discovery process to annoy, embarrass,
and opress District Attorney Willis. The filing also says Willis
knows nothing about the Wade's marriage except that both signs
have filed legal paperwork indicating the marriage was irretrievably broken
(14:18):
after Missus Wade had an affair, and that the district
attorney should not have to give a deposition for the
divorce case. The filing was made after the judge hearing
all of this, Scott McAfee Again, Scott McAfee, the only
judge in the Atlanta, Georgia area, demanded a written response
from Fannie Willis by February second, and scheduled an evidentiary
(14:41):
hearing for thirteen days after that. Willis makes no denial
of an affair. On the other hand, that doesn't need
to be one. What there is is the implication that
the defendant who brought all this up and then questioned
the entire validity of the prosecution, the one time Trump
flunky Mike Roman, could now face additional charges use the
(15:05):
phrase obstructing and interfering with an ongoing criminal prosecution. Additional
charges against Roman, charges against Missus Wade are implied, but
none have been filed. On the other hand, in Washington,
Trump's stall in the election subversion case gained an unfortunate
legal stamp of approval. Judge Chutkins said no, she would
(15:27):
not be setting pre trial deadlines based on the idea
that Trump's lawyers should be preparing everything now anyway during
the freeze over the presidential immunity bullshit in case they
lose it. He has won a delay. Regardless of what
happens to the presidential immunity claim, it will be weeks,
It might even be months. It certainly means that if
(15:50):
you bought the official trial date, the start date of
March fourth for the election subversion case and the Jack
Smith prosecution, if you took March fourth in the office pool,
you've already lost. Back in New York, where Judge can
happen did not jail Trump for contempt, and where Trump
did not return yesterday for another day of daring him
to do it, one begins to wonder if Alina Habba
(16:12):
is actually an anti Trump plant, that person is an idiot.
Per Gadfly reporter Matthew Russell Lee of Inner City Press, Judge,
you've taken enough time on this haba. May I be heard, Judge, No, haba,
I can't ask about them with all due respect, Judge,
with all due respect, when I rule, you go on haba,
(16:39):
so do you. Egen Carroll's lawyer objection. Judge sustained stricken
haba on what basis? Judge? Move on later, Haba to
Egen Carroll, and you've been on left leaning platforms. Carol's
lawyer objection. Judge sustained Haba. Are they left leaning? Judge?
(17:02):
Did you not hear me? Once again? I can fake
being smart? No, no, you can't. Others maybe you miss Haber, No,
not at all. Trial continues Monday. Also of interest here,
(17:29):
the Republican Plant Group, led by Joe Lieberman, No scruples.
I'm sorry I wrote that down wrong, no labels. The
Republican Plant Group, No Labels reaches out to Nikki Haley
to be their presidential candidate, and she actually says no, thanks,
no scruples. That's next. This is countdown. This is countdown
(17:52):
with Keith Olberman o scripts to the news, some headlines,
some updates, some snark, some prediction, dateline, no labels, National
Headquarters inside Republican National Headquarters, Washington. Quote. If Governor Haley
(18:16):
does not succeed in obtaining the Republican nomination for president,
says Joe Lieberman, who actually is still alive except for
his soul, which died in the year two thousand and
she declares any interest in being part of our bipartisan
unity ticket. I'm sure the people at No Labels would
give that the most serious consideration. Does Lieberman really think
(18:40):
he's fooling anybody? He's not even fooling Haley. A spokesperson
told Politico quote Nikki has no interest in No Labels.
She's happy with the Republican label dateline marri Lago. Rather amazingly,
Haley appears to still be alive for the vice presidential
spot on a Trump ticket. She's already demanded cognitive tests
(19:04):
for candidates older than seventy five. On the other hand,
she's already pre endorsed Trump's nomination. The hardliners really don't
want her. Matt Gates says she'd be a quote establishment
neo kon fantasy and a Maga nightmare, and Trump is
reportedly being warned that if he picks her or anybody
(19:24):
else even partially acceptable to the non fascist wing of
the party, he should prepare to watch Haley or whoever
he picks aligned with mainstream Republican senators to remove him
from the presidency and elevate her to it during his
second term. Nice people, you attract So I keep getting
(19:48):
asked who is the vice president for Trump if he
wins the nomination, And the theory is Trump can't trust
anybody to try to not outshine him in order to
succeed him unless he finds a Dick Cheney type who
has no interest in succeeding him. Ironic model Veep given
Liz Cheney. He would really like a Dick Cheney type
(20:08):
who's not from the political world. Among those from the
political world, North Dakota Governor Doug Bergham because Trump admires
his money. Senator Tim Scott because Trump hasn't figured it
out yet. Senator Marsha Blackburn because Okay, on this one,
they've stumped me. This makes no sense at all. Ben Carson,
(20:31):
Glenn Youngkin, jd Vance, Christy Nome, Sarah Huckabee Sanders though
he's mad at her for waiting to endorse him, and
of course shameless a moral opportunist. Elise Stefanic. You know
who I think Trump should pick? Nick Ayres. You know
who Nick Airs is. He was the chief of staff
(20:51):
of an erstwhile Trump world figure, and Nick Ayers endorsed
Trump yesterday. Nick Ayres was the chief of staff to
Mike Pence, and if he could endorsed Trump after what
Trump tried to do to Mike Pence, he is both
evil enough and masochistic enough to serve Trump still ahead
(21:37):
on this edition of Countdown. We tend to think of
the destruction of culture and literature as some sort of
twenty first century phenomenon. In fact, America has always dumbed down,
at least in spots, even as other parts of it
have smartened up. In nineteen thirty seven, James Thurber was
(21:58):
already bemoaning the dummening Americans, smart enough to travel the world,
yet stupid enough to complain about Shakespeare's Macbeth because it
did not follow the rules of paperback fiction. The Macbeth
murder mystery one of my favorites in Fridays with Thurber.
Next first time for the daily roundup of the miscreants,
(22:19):
morons and dunning Kruger effects specimens who constitute two days
worse persons in the world, Lebrons Worse. Metro UK a
kind of sassy British news website which tweeted out something bizarre.
The only thing you really need to know in advance
is that the British outfit called the Met Office is
(22:39):
actually the Meteorology Office. It does the weather. The tweet
quote the Met Office warrens the UK will be double
fisted by deadly snow and ice. Now this might have
gone by unnoticed except the Met Office itself took dignified
offense to this and replied quote needless to say, this
(23:03):
isn't it tim use to describe the weather. I'm now
compelled to tell you for some reason that on July thirtieth,
twenty eleven, the Seattle Mariners traded a pitcher named Doug
Fister to the Detroit Tigers for pitchers Chance Ruffin and
Charlie Furbush. It was, of course the Fister Roughin Furbush trade.
(23:30):
Moving on the runner up worser Larry Elder, I have
to tell you that for a long time I thought
Larry Elder was a bit some comedian fiercely dedicated to
an alternate persona. He had this great concept of a
conservative idiot with a specialty for stepping on rakes, you know,
kind of like Dave Chappelle's blind KKK Leader, a fringe
(23:53):
radio talk show host. Larry has run for and lost
or bailed out for the California Senate, the California governorship,
and the presidency. But Larry Elder has now even himself,
I think. At four p thirteen yesterday morning, Eastern Time,
he posted what might be the saddest thing I have
ever read on Twitter x quote, Dear Elon Musk, why
(24:17):
does my number of followers barely change day to day
despite how often I post and how clever and meaningful
the content. Please be advised there is deep state at
x and with all due respect, you are so busy
and distracted that you don't even know it. Unquote, mister
(24:40):
Elder has inadvertently defined MAGA and the Republican Party and
the twenty first century Trumpian culture of I'm an infallible genius.
I know this because I'm also omission. It couldn't be.
Even as some of Elder's fellow right wing trolls noted
that his timeline consists mostly of links to websites he's
being paid to promote, therefore nobody wants to follow him,
(25:03):
it couldn't be some else that you also might discern
from his timeline or just from hearing him talk, namely
that even from MAGA, Larry Elder is really dumb. No,
it's the deep state, As tweeter Larry Downing noted, the
deep state is when people don't like my posts, have
some self respect and just buy some bot followers older
(25:26):
but our winner, Tucker Carlson. Remember Tucker Carlson. He has
another Twitter video out four years after Twitter videos stop
being a thing, only this one is another attempt at
gaslighting about January sixth. And I say attempt because I
don't think Tucker Carlson and the conspiracy theorist he had
on with him, a sleazy mcbad haircut or whatever his
(25:48):
name is, really realize what they were implying. Carlson's text
atop his video reads quote, it seems likely the government
officials were involved in planting pipe bombs in Washington, d C.
Three years ago as part of an effort to keep
Donald Trump from running for president again. So Tucker, when
(26:12):
the pipe bombs were planted in Washington on January fifth,
twenty twenty one, it was the government who did it.
The government on January fifth, twenty twenty one was the
was the Trump the Trump government? Tucker Carlson says the
Trump government planted the January twenty twenty one pipe bombs
in Washington. Well, done, Tucker, you underscored my opening point.
(26:34):
Time to send Trump to Gitmo. Tucker Carlson, what an asshole?
Two days worst first said, hello world. Fridays with Thurber
(27:10):
and the Works of the Master, and one I have
not read to you here before, but is one of
my favorites because it is well you'll hear Fridays with
Thurber and the Macbeth Murder Mystery by James Thurber. It
was a stupid mistake to make, said the American woman
I had met at my hotel in the English Lake Country.
(27:32):
But it was on the counter with the other Penguin books,
the little sixpenny ones, you know, with the paper covers,
and I supposed, of course it was a detective story.
All the others were detective stories. I'd read all the others,
so I bought this one without really looking at it carefully.
You can imagine how mad I was when I found
it was Shakespeare. I murmured something sympathetically. I don't see
(27:58):
why the Penguin Books people had to get out Shakespeare's
plays in the same size and everything as the detective stories.
Went on. My companion, I think they have different colored jackets,
I said, well, I didn't notice that, she said. Anyway,
I got real comfy in bed that night and all
ready to read a good mystery story. And here I
had the Tragedy of Macbeth, a book for high school
(28:22):
students like Ivan Hoe or Lorna Doone, I said, exactly,
said the American lady. And I was just crazy for
a good Agatha Christie or something. Rcule Poirot is my
favorite detective. Is he the Rabbity one, I asked, Oh, no,
said my crime fiction expert. He's the Belgian one you're
(28:45):
thinking of, mister Pinkerton, the one that helps Inspector Bull.
He's good too. Over her second cup of tea, my
companion began to tell me the plot of a detective
story that had fooled her completely. It seems it was
the old family doctor all the time. But I cut
in on her. Tell me, I said, did you read Macbeth?
(29:11):
I had to read it. She said, there wasn't a
scrap of anything else to read in the whole room.
Did you like it, I asked, no, I did not,
she said, decisively. In the first place, I don't think
for a moment that Macbeth did it. I looked at her,
blankly did what I asked. I don't think for a
(29:35):
moment that he killed the king, she said. I don't
think the Macbeth woman was mixed up in it either.
You suspect them the most, of course, but those are
the ones that are never guilty, or shouldn't be anyway.
I'm afraid I began that I but don't you see,
said the American lady. It would spoil everything if you
could figure out right away who did it. Shakespeare was
(29:57):
too smart for that. I've read that people never have
figured out Hamlet, so it isn't likely Shakespeare would have
made mc beth as simple as it seems. I thought
this over while I filled my pipe. Who do you suspect?
I asked, suddenly Macduff, she said promptly. Good God, I
(30:23):
whispered softly. Oh McDuff did it all right? Said the
murder specialist. Erkuo Paro would have got him easily. How
did you figure it out? I demanded, Well, she said
I didn't right away. First I suspected Banquo, and then
of course he was the second person killed. That was
good right in there, that part. The person you suspect
(30:45):
of the first murder should always be the second victim.
Is that so, I murmured, Oh, yes, said my informant.
They have to keep surprising you. Well after the second murder,
I didn't know who the killer was for a while.
Uh how about Malcolm and Donald Bain, the King's I asked,
(31:06):
as I remember it, They fled right after the first murder.
That looks suspicious. Too suspicious, said the American lady. Much
too suspicious. When they flee, they're never guilty. You can
count on that, I believe, I said, I'll have a brandy,
and I summoned the waiter. My companion leaned toward me,
(31:29):
her eyes bright, her teacup quivering. Do you know who
discovered Duncan's body? She demanded? I said, I was sorry,
but I had forgotten McDuff discovers it, she said, slipping
into the historical presence. Then he comes running downstairs and shouts,
confusion has broke open the Lord's anointed temple, and sacrilegious
(31:52):
murder has made his masterpiece, and on and on like that.
The good lady tapped me on the knee. All that
stuff was rehearsed, She said, you wouldn't say a lot
of stuff like that offhand, would you if you'd found
a body. She fixed me with a glittering eye. I began,
you're right, she said, you wouldn't unless you had practiced
(32:14):
it in advance. My god, there's a body in here
is what an innocent man would say. She sat back
with a confident glare. I thought for a while, But
what do you make of the third murderer? I asked.
You know, the third murderer has puzzled Macbeth's scholars for
(32:35):
three hundred years. That's because they never thought of McDuff,
said the American lady. It was McDuff. I'm certain you
couldn't have one of the victims murdered by two ordinary thugs.
The murderer always has to be somebody important. But what
about the banquet scene, I asked, after a moment, How
do you account for Macbeth's guilty actions there when Banquo's
(32:58):
ghosts came in and sat in his chair. The lady
leaned forward and tapped me on the knee again. There
wasn't any ghost, she said. A big, strong man like
that doesn't go around seeing ghosts, especially in a brightly
lighted banquet hall with dozens of people around. Macbeth was
shielding somebody. Who was he shielding, I asked missus Macbeth.
(33:24):
Of course, she said he thought she did it, and
he was going to take the rap himself. The husband
always does that when the wife is suspected. But what
I demanded about the sleepwalking scene, then the same thing,
only the other way around, said my companion. That time
she was shielding him. She wasn't asleep at all. Do
(33:47):
you remember where it says enter lady Macbeth with a taper? Yes,
I said, Well, people who walk in their sleep never
carry lights, said my fellow traveler. They have a second sight.
Did you ever hear of a sleepwalker carrying a light? No? Oh,
I said, I never did. Well, then she wasn't asleep.
(34:09):
She was acting guilty to shield Macbeth. I think. I said,
I'll have another brandy, and I called the waiter. When
he brought it, I drank it rapidly and rose to go.
I believe I said that you have got hold of something.
Would you lend me that, Macbeth. I'd like to look
(34:30):
it over tonight. I don't feel somehow as if I've
ever really read it. I'll get it for you, she said,
But you'll find that I'm right. I read the play
over carefully that night, and the next morning, after breakfast,
I sought out the American woman. She was on the
putting green, and I came up behind her silently and
(34:50):
took her arm. She gave an exclamation. Could I see
you alone? I asked in a low voice. She nodded
cautiously and followed me to a secluded spot. You've found
out something, she breathed. I've found out, I said, triumphantly,
the name of the murderer. You mean it wasn't McDuff,
(35:12):
she said. McDuff is as innocent of those murders, I said,
as Macbeth and the Macbeth woman. I opened the copy
of the play, which I had with me, and turned
to act to seem to here, I said, you will
see where Lady Macbeth says, I laid their daggers ready.
(35:33):
He could not miss them. Had he not resembled my
father as he slept, I had done it. Do you see, no,
said the American woman bluntly. I don't. But it's simple,
I exclaimed. I wonder I didn't see it years ago.
The reason Duncan resembled Lady Macbeth's father as he slept,
(35:57):
is that it actually was her father. Good God, breathe
my company softly. Lady Macbeth's father killed the king, I said,
and hearing someone coming, thrust the body under the bed
and crawled into the bed himself. But said the lady.
(36:18):
You can't have a murderer who only appears in the
story once. You can't have that. I know that, I said,
and I turned to Act two, Scene four. It says,
here enter Ross with an old man. Now that old
man is never identified, and it is my contention that
he was old mister Macbeth, whose ambition it was to
(36:39):
make his daughter queen. There you'll have your motive. But
even then, cried the American lady, he's still a minor character, not,
I said, gleefully, when you realize that he was also
one of the weird sisters in disguise. You mean one
of those three witches. Precisely, I said. Listen to this
(37:01):
speech of the old man's. On Tuesday last, a falcon
towering in her pride of place was by a mousing owl,
hawked at and killed. Who does that sound like? It
sounds like the way the three witches talk, said my
companion reluctantly, precisely, I said. Again, Well, said the American woman.
(37:24):
Maybe you're right, but I'm sure I am, I said,
And do you know what I'm going to do now? No?
She said, what buy a copy of Hamlet? I said,
and solve that. My companion's eyes brightened. Then she said,
you don't think Hamlet did it? I am? I said,
(37:48):
absolutely positive he did not. But who? She demanded, who
do you suspect? I looked at her cryptically, everybody, I said,
and disappeared into a small grove of trees as silently
as I had come. The Macbeth Murder Mystery by James Thurber.
(38:27):
I've done all the damage I can do here. Thank
you for listening. I love that story. Countdown Musical directors
Brian Ray and John Phillip Shaneil arranged, produced, and performed
most of our music. Mister Ray was on guitars, bass
and drums. Mister Schnaie handled orchestration and keyboards, and it
was produced by Tko Brothers. Other music, including some of
the Beethoven compositions, arranged and performed by No Horns Allowed.
(38:50):
The sports music is the Oberman theme from ESPN two,
written by Mitch Warren Davis courtesy of ESPN inc. Our
satirical and pithy musical comments are by Nancy Faust, the
best baseball stadium organist ever. Our announcer today was my
friend Stevie van Zandt, and everything house was pretty much
my fault. And that's countdown for this the two hundred
and ninety fourth day until the twenty twenty four US
(39:11):
presidential election, and the one ninth day since dementia Jay
Trump's first attempted coup against the democratically elected government of
the United States. Use the Fourteenth Amendment, use the Insurrection Act,
use the justice system to stop him from doing it
again while we still can. The next scheduled countdown is Tuesday.
(39:33):
Bulletins is the news warrants till then. I'm Keith Olderman.
Good morning, good afternoon, goodnight, and good luck. Countdown with
(39:55):
Keith Oldreman is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts
from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or where
wherever you get your podcasts.
Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. It
is now time to arrest Donald Trump and detain him
(00:25):
at GITMO. By this point, it is impossible to be
shocked anymore. But Trump's attorneys have now stochastically threatened the
Supreme Court and again threatened the nation with quote bedlam unquote,
oh and chaos, chaos, and bedlam in their filing to
(00:47):
the Supreme Court demanding that it overrule the Colorado fourteenth
Amendment disqualification finding and similar attempts in other states and
in other court cases. Trump's lawyers last night wrote that
the bids to enforce the constitution quote threatened to disenfranchise
tens of millions of Americans and promise to unleash chaos
(01:08):
and bedlam unquote. Trump's stochastic threats of terror, of bloodshed,
of violence, of disorder, and now of chaos and bedlam
are so numerous that there is no accurate counting of them.
They are, in fact so numerous that Trump is now
(01:31):
into reruns. Trump January ninth. They feel this is the
way they're going to try and win, and that's not
the way it goes. It will be bedlam in the
country if you said that, and then nine days later
your lawyers told the Supreme Court of the United States
that if it did not rule in your favor, that
chaos and bedlam would be unleashed. And you made sure
(01:55):
you put the word promise in there before those other
loaded words. You would be arrested for making terroristic threats,
especially if you were now making them on an average
of one every ten days or so. I no longer
care about the institutional consequences long term or even this November.
(02:21):
Abraham Lincoln did not care about the institutional consequences long
term when he had to count on the elasticity of
those institutions in order to save this nation by inventing
things like war powers and ignoring Supreme Court rulings in
eighteen sixty one and sixty two and three and four
and five. Subsequent generations were left to deal with the
(02:44):
consequences of those things, and none of them have shirked
that responsibility nor suggested Lincoln was wrong. We are at
that point again where the future of this country requires
a willingness if the conservative traditions will serve only to
enable a madman to droyd the United States to go
(03:06):
beyond the conservative traditions. Donald Trump is a terrorist. He
is threatening sweeping political violence, chaos, and bedlam if he
does not get his way, that is by definition terrorism.
He should be detained today. I believe we have an
(03:29):
off the mainland facility where we have kept people which
previous presidential administrations have determined, without slowing themselves down and
worrying overdue process, were terrorists. I believe there is probably
a current equivalent of the black sites that previous presidential
administrations have used when the level of complexity was raised
(03:52):
by the fact that the terrorist suspect was also an
American citizen. The Biden administration should use these processes, these precedents,
these locations, and use them now. There certainly will be consequences,
serious and untold and perhaps at this point unimaginable and bluntly,
no matter what the hell they are, they will be
(04:14):
better and easier to address than letting Trump continue to
threaten the nation and perhaps regain the power to control
the nation and end all semblance of representative government in
the nation. Dealing with Trump in Gitmo in twenty twenty
four will be a hell of a lot easier than
(04:35):
dealing with Trump in the White House. In twenty twenty
five until he decides when to leave. The irony of
timing That filing comes barely sixteen hours after two utterly
(04:56):
unexpected and presumably utterly unknowing confessions by Trump. Quote a
president of the United States must have full immunity, even
events that quote cross the line unquote must fall under
total immunity. Trump panicking, trying to fight through the fog
(05:19):
of his disintegrating mind to convince himself he will not
die in prison posting on social media literally at two
o'clock in the morning, but in so doing accomplishing something.
I don't think people are recognizing that social media post
about crossing the line and full immunity, that is a confession.
(05:44):
And yes, the obvious non confession things are still true.
Combine this with his lawyer's arguments to the DC Appeals
Court and now the Supreme Court, and yes, Trump is
arguing a president could order an ex president killed or
you killed, and he would never be prosecuted for it.
And yes, what he describes is not a president's immunity
(06:09):
but a dictator's immunity. And yes, no president has ever
had total immunity, no president has ever needed total immunity.
Even Richard Nixon, who infamously said, and he was three
years out of office when he said it, well, when
the president does it, that means that it is not illegal.
Even Nixon came back sixteen days later in a twenty
five hundred word statement to the old newspaper of the
(06:32):
Washington Star, and he also said, quote, I do not
believe and would not argue that a president is above
the law. Of course he is not. And Nixon then
went on to say he meant legal latitude in emergencies
like Lincoln during the Civil War, if you've heard that
from anybody recently. But lost in the horror of that
(06:56):
Trump post is the confession in Trump's post. It is,
in fact two confessions. The first to the fact that
even he realizes that there is not now anything like
presidential immunity, and he wants it established. And all his
language in that post is in the future tense or
(07:17):
the hypothetical. And forgive me for parsing the rantings of
a madman, but this is a confession that what he
is now asking a district court to give him, and
what he will almost certainly then ask the Supreme Court
to give him if he has not killed its members.
By then, what he is going to ask them does
not currently exist. Quote. A president of the United States
(07:40):
must have full immunity, without which it would be impossible
for him her to properly function. Any mistake, even if
well intended, would be met with almost certain indictment by
the opposing party Unquote. Firstly, no previous former president has
ever been indicted with the Department of Justice under the
(08:02):
other parti's control or under the control of his own party.
Nixon expected to be expected to be indicted by a
DOJ run by Republicans. Nixon was pardoned. Probably most presidents
have broken the law. George W. Bush certainly did with torture.
Obama confirmed before his own inauguration that his administration would
(08:25):
not pursue anybody for torturing prisoners. Reagan broke the law
and around contras certainly in other areas. Probably what Trump
is saying here is that from now on, any president
who breaks the law will be prosecuted as an act
of political revenge and on the facts. He's mistaken, of course,
but the premise is not insane. Certainly, it is not
(08:45):
as insane as the previous version of this claim that
all presidents have had immunity. This is something different. He
is asking for something for the future. There is also
something else in those opening two sentences that is of importance,
But I want come back to that separately, and I
(09:05):
will do so in a moment. To resume quoting what
might be the most revelatory Trump statement ever quote. Even
events that cross the line must fall under total immunity,
or it will be years of trauma trying to determine
good from bad. There must be certainty. Again, you can
take this as another threat or as a prediction. Either way,
(09:26):
it's not crazy. It may be wrong, but it is
not crazy. Resuming the quotation example, you can't stop police
from doing the job of strong and effective crime prevention
because you want to guard against the occasional rogue cop
or bad apple. Sometimes you just have to live with
great but slightly imperfect. All presidents must have complete and
(09:48):
total presidential immunity, or the authority and decisiveness of a
president of the United States will be stripped and gone forever.
Hopefully this will be an easy decision. God bless the
Supreme Court unquote the court he would threaten with chaos
and bedlam less than a day later ignore the self congratulation,
(10:10):
the self pity, and his new mandatory dragging of God
into this, which is part of the Trump twenty twenty
four god con roll out I mentioned earlier in the week.
To me, the keys in this are one that he
posits presidential immunity is something that does not currently exist,
and whether he knows it or not, that means that
if it were to be established as he hopes, it
(10:32):
could not be done so retroactively. It would not apply
to the Trump presidency of twenty seventeen to twenty twenty one.
So that's the first confession. Whether he meant to confess
or he did not mean to confess, he confessed. He
confessed there is not presidential immunity. He just wants there
to be. The second confession is subtler. Let me read
(10:57):
its two components. A president of the United States must
have full immunity, without which it would be impossible for
him her to properly function any mistake, even if well intended,
et cetera mistake. There is the implication here that Trump
(11:18):
may be trying to pass off his crimes as mistakes. Outlandish,
of course, but even for him to approach confessing to
mere mistakes is startling mistakes. January sixth was not a
beautiful day. There weren't good people on both sides in Charlottesville.
(11:39):
Trying to get the vice president hanged was an oopsie.
Also note that Trump later in this post compares himself
to the quote occasional rogue copper bad apple and says
you just have to live with great but slightly imperfect unquote.
In anybody else, this would read like a mass murderer
(12:01):
claiming he only meant the first ten or twelve. Come on,
But coming from Trump, I'm not ignoring his attempt to
pass off a threat against Biden and Obama and Clinton
as some civic minded plea. But coming from Trump, this
almost reads like borderline self awareness and a plea bargain.
(12:23):
Don't send me to prison or disqualify me from the ballot.
I'm just a rogue cop, a bad apple, great but
slightly imperfect. I made a mistake. Don't get me wrong.
I am not suggesting for a moment that Trump has
had an epiphany here, maybe a Freudian slip. The Supreme
(12:48):
Court filing threatening chaos and bedlam confirms no epiphanies round
this house. And we know offered a deal this minute,
in which he has to personally kill every member of
his own family, but he regains power and avoids prison.
He would do it before our first commercial break Elsewhere.
(13:13):
After weeks of letting, speculation and fear fill the news void,
Fulton County, Georgia, District Attorney Fannie Willis has finally said
something about the accusation that could wreck the Trump case
there and what she has said is as explosive as
what was said about her. This charge from the wife
of the attorney Willis hired as a prosecutor in the
(13:34):
Trump case, that her husband and Willis were having an affair.
The wife, Joycelyn Wade, is quote using the legal process
to harass and embarrassed District Attorney Willis, and in doing so,
is obstructing and interfering with an ongoing criminal prosecution. The
filing to the court hearing the prosecutions continues, Missus Wade
(13:55):
quote has conspired with interested parties in the criminal election
interference case to use the civil discovery process to annoy, embarrass,
and opress District Attorney Willis. The filing also says Willis
knows nothing about the Wade's marriage except that both signs
have filed legal paperwork indicating the marriage was irretrievably broken
(14:18):
after Missus Wade had an affair, and that the district
attorney should not have to give a deposition for the
divorce case. The filing was made after the judge hearing
all of this, Scott McAfee Again, Scott McAfee, the only
judge in the Atlanta, Georgia area, demanded a written response
from Fannie Willis by February second, and scheduled an evidentiary
(14:41):
hearing for thirteen days after that. Willis makes no denial
of an affair. On the other hand, that doesn't need
to be one. What there is is the implication that
the defendant who brought all this up and then questioned
the entire validity of the prosecution, the one time Trump
flunky Mike Roman, could now face additional charges use the
(15:05):
phrase obstructing and interfering with an ongoing criminal prosecution. Additional
charges against Roman, charges against Missus Wade are implied, but
none have been filed. On the other hand, in Washington,
Trump's stall in the election subversion case gained an unfortunate
legal stamp of approval. Judge Chutkins said no, she would
(15:27):
not be setting pre trial deadlines based on the idea
that Trump's lawyers should be preparing everything now anyway during
the freeze over the presidential immunity bullshit in case they
lose it. He has won a delay. Regardless of what
happens to the presidential immunity claim, it will be weeks,
It might even be months. It certainly means that if
(15:50):
you bought the official trial date, the start date of
March fourth for the election subversion case and the Jack
Smith prosecution, if you took March fourth in the office pool,
you've already lost. Back in New York, where Judge can
happen did not jail Trump for contempt, and where Trump
did not return yesterday for another day of daring him
to do it, one begins to wonder if Alina Habba
(16:12):
is actually an anti Trump plant, that person is an idiot.
Per Gadfly reporter Matthew Russell Lee of Inner City Press, Judge,
you've taken enough time on this haba. May I be heard, Judge, No, haba,
I can't ask about them with all due respect, Judge,
with all due respect, when I rule, you go on haba,
(16:39):
so do you. Egen Carroll's lawyer objection. Judge sustained stricken
haba on what basis? Judge? Move on later, Haba to
Egen Carroll, and you've been on left leaning platforms. Carol's
lawyer objection. Judge sustained Haba. Are they left leaning? Judge?
(17:02):
Did you not hear me? Once again? I can fake
being smart? No, no, you can't. Others maybe you miss Haber, No,
not at all. Trial continues Monday. Also of interest here,
(17:29):
the Republican Plant Group, led by Joe Lieberman, No scruples.
I'm sorry I wrote that down wrong, no labels. The
Republican Plant Group, No Labels reaches out to Nikki Haley
to be their presidential candidate, and she actually says no, thanks,
no scruples. That's next. This is countdown. This is countdown
(17:52):
with Keith Olberman o scripts to the news, some headlines,
some updates, some snark, some prediction, dateline, no labels, National
Headquarters inside Republican National Headquarters, Washington. Quote. If Governor Haley
(18:16):
does not succeed in obtaining the Republican nomination for president,
says Joe Lieberman, who actually is still alive except for
his soul, which died in the year two thousand and
she declares any interest in being part of our bipartisan
unity ticket. I'm sure the people at No Labels would
give that the most serious consideration. Does Lieberman really think
(18:40):
he's fooling anybody? He's not even fooling Haley. A spokesperson
told Politico quote Nikki has no interest in No Labels.
She's happy with the Republican label dateline marri Lago. Rather amazingly,
Haley appears to still be alive for the vice presidential
spot on a Trump ticket. She's already demanded cognitive tests
(19:04):
for candidates older than seventy five. On the other hand,
she's already pre endorsed Trump's nomination. The hardliners really don't
want her. Matt Gates says she'd be a quote establishment
neo kon fantasy and a Maga nightmare, and Trump is
reportedly being warned that if he picks her or anybody
(19:24):
else even partially acceptable to the non fascist wing of
the party, he should prepare to watch Haley or whoever
he picks aligned with mainstream Republican senators to remove him
from the presidency and elevate her to it during his
second term. Nice people, you attract So I keep getting
(19:48):
asked who is the vice president for Trump if he
wins the nomination, And the theory is Trump can't trust
anybody to try to not outshine him in order to
succeed him unless he finds a Dick Cheney type who
has no interest in succeeding him. Ironic model Veep given
Liz Cheney. He would really like a Dick Cheney type
(20:08):
who's not from the political world. Among those from the
political world, North Dakota Governor Doug Bergham because Trump admires
his money. Senator Tim Scott because Trump hasn't figured it
out yet. Senator Marsha Blackburn because Okay, on this one,
they've stumped me. This makes no sense at all. Ben Carson,
(20:31):
Glenn Youngkin, jd Vance, Christy Nome, Sarah Huckabee Sanders though
he's mad at her for waiting to endorse him, and
of course shameless a moral opportunist. Elise Stefanic. You know
who I think Trump should pick? Nick Ayres. You know
who Nick Airs is. He was the chief of staff
(20:51):
of an erstwhile Trump world figure, and Nick Ayers endorsed
Trump yesterday. Nick Ayres was the chief of staff to
Mike Pence, and if he could endorsed Trump after what
Trump tried to do to Mike Pence, he is both
evil enough and masochistic enough to serve Trump still ahead
(21:37):
on this edition of Countdown. We tend to think of
the destruction of culture and literature as some sort of
twenty first century phenomenon. In fact, America has always dumbed down,
at least in spots, even as other parts of it
have smartened up. In nineteen thirty seven, James Thurber was
(21:58):
already bemoaning the dummening Americans, smart enough to travel the world,
yet stupid enough to complain about Shakespeare's Macbeth because it
did not follow the rules of paperback fiction. The Macbeth
murder mystery one of my favorites in Fridays with Thurber.
Next first time for the daily roundup of the miscreants,
(22:19):
morons and dunning Kruger effects specimens who constitute two days
worse persons in the world, Lebrons Worse. Metro UK a
kind of sassy British news website which tweeted out something bizarre.
The only thing you really need to know in advance
is that the British outfit called the Met Office is
(22:39):
actually the Meteorology Office. It does the weather. The tweet
quote the Met Office warrens the UK will be double
fisted by deadly snow and ice. Now this might have
gone by unnoticed except the Met Office itself took dignified
offense to this and replied quote needless to say, this
(23:03):
isn't it tim use to describe the weather. I'm now
compelled to tell you for some reason that on July thirtieth,
twenty eleven, the Seattle Mariners traded a pitcher named Doug
Fister to the Detroit Tigers for pitchers Chance Ruffin and
Charlie Furbush. It was, of course the Fister Roughin Furbush trade.
(23:30):
Moving on the runner up worser Larry Elder, I have
to tell you that for a long time I thought
Larry Elder was a bit some comedian fiercely dedicated to
an alternate persona. He had this great concept of a
conservative idiot with a specialty for stepping on rakes, you know,
kind of like Dave Chappelle's blind KKK Leader, a fringe
(23:53):
radio talk show host. Larry has run for and lost
or bailed out for the California Senate, the California governorship,
and the presidency. But Larry Elder has now even himself,
I think. At four p thirteen yesterday morning, Eastern Time,
he posted what might be the saddest thing I have
ever read on Twitter x quote, Dear Elon Musk, why
(24:17):
does my number of followers barely change day to day
despite how often I post and how clever and meaningful
the content. Please be advised there is deep state at
x and with all due respect, you are so busy
and distracted that you don't even know it. Unquote, mister
(24:40):
Elder has inadvertently defined MAGA and the Republican Party and
the twenty first century Trumpian culture of I'm an infallible genius.
I know this because I'm also omission. It couldn't be.
Even as some of Elder's fellow right wing trolls noted
that his timeline consists mostly of links to websites he's
being paid to promote, therefore nobody wants to follow him,
(25:03):
it couldn't be some else that you also might discern
from his timeline or just from hearing him talk, namely
that even from MAGA, Larry Elder is really dumb. No,
it's the deep state, As tweeter Larry Downing noted, the
deep state is when people don't like my posts, have
some self respect and just buy some bot followers older
(25:26):
but our winner, Tucker Carlson. Remember Tucker Carlson. He has
another Twitter video out four years after Twitter videos stop
being a thing, only this one is another attempt at
gaslighting about January sixth. And I say attempt because I
don't think Tucker Carlson and the conspiracy theorist he had
on with him, a sleazy mcbad haircut or whatever his
(25:48):
name is, really realize what they were implying. Carlson's text
atop his video reads quote, it seems likely the government
officials were involved in planting pipe bombs in Washington, d C.
Three years ago as part of an effort to keep
Donald Trump from running for president again. So Tucker, when
(26:12):
the pipe bombs were planted in Washington on January fifth,
twenty twenty one, it was the government who did it.
The government on January fifth, twenty twenty one was the
was the Trump the Trump government? Tucker Carlson says the
Trump government planted the January twenty twenty one pipe bombs
in Washington. Well, done, Tucker, you underscored my opening point.
(26:34):
Time to send Trump to Gitmo. Tucker Carlson, what an asshole?
Two days worst first said, hello world. Fridays with Thurber
(27:10):
and the Works of the Master, and one I have
not read to you here before, but is one of
my favorites because it is well you'll hear Fridays with
Thurber and the Macbeth Murder Mystery by James Thurber. It
was a stupid mistake to make, said the American woman
I had met at my hotel in the English Lake Country.
(27:32):
But it was on the counter with the other Penguin books,
the little sixpenny ones, you know, with the paper covers,
and I supposed, of course it was a detective story.
All the others were detective stories. I'd read all the others,
so I bought this one without really looking at it carefully.
You can imagine how mad I was when I found
it was Shakespeare. I murmured something sympathetically. I don't see
(27:58):
why the Penguin Books people had to get out Shakespeare's
plays in the same size and everything as the detective stories.
Went on. My companion, I think they have different colored jackets,
I said, well, I didn't notice that, she said. Anyway,
I got real comfy in bed that night and all
ready to read a good mystery story. And here I
had the Tragedy of Macbeth, a book for high school
(28:22):
students like Ivan Hoe or Lorna Doone, I said, exactly,
said the American lady. And I was just crazy for
a good Agatha Christie or something. Rcule Poirot is my
favorite detective. Is he the Rabbity one, I asked, Oh, no,
said my crime fiction expert. He's the Belgian one you're
(28:45):
thinking of, mister Pinkerton, the one that helps Inspector Bull.
He's good too. Over her second cup of tea, my
companion began to tell me the plot of a detective
story that had fooled her completely. It seems it was
the old family doctor all the time. But I cut
in on her. Tell me, I said, did you read Macbeth?
(29:11):
I had to read it. She said, there wasn't a
scrap of anything else to read in the whole room.
Did you like it, I asked, no, I did not,
she said, decisively. In the first place, I don't think
for a moment that Macbeth did it. I looked at her,
blankly did what I asked. I don't think for a
(29:35):
moment that he killed the king, she said. I don't
think the Macbeth woman was mixed up in it either.
You suspect them the most, of course, but those are
the ones that are never guilty, or shouldn't be anyway.
I'm afraid I began that I but don't you see,
said the American lady. It would spoil everything if you
could figure out right away who did it. Shakespeare was
(29:57):
too smart for that. I've read that people never have
figured out Hamlet, so it isn't likely Shakespeare would have
made mc beth as simple as it seems. I thought
this over while I filled my pipe. Who do you suspect?
I asked, suddenly Macduff, she said promptly. Good God, I
(30:23):
whispered softly. Oh McDuff did it all right? Said the
murder specialist. Erkuo Paro would have got him easily. How
did you figure it out? I demanded, Well, she said
I didn't right away. First I suspected Banquo, and then
of course he was the second person killed. That was
good right in there, that part. The person you suspect
(30:45):
of the first murder should always be the second victim.
Is that so, I murmured, Oh, yes, said my informant.
They have to keep surprising you. Well after the second murder,
I didn't know who the killer was for a while.
Uh how about Malcolm and Donald Bain, the King's I asked,
(31:06):
as I remember it, They fled right after the first murder.
That looks suspicious. Too suspicious, said the American lady. Much
too suspicious. When they flee, they're never guilty. You can
count on that, I believe, I said, I'll have a brandy,
and I summoned the waiter. My companion leaned toward me,
(31:29):
her eyes bright, her teacup quivering. Do you know who
discovered Duncan's body? She demanded? I said, I was sorry,
but I had forgotten McDuff discovers it, she said, slipping
into the historical presence. Then he comes running downstairs and shouts,
confusion has broke open the Lord's anointed temple, and sacrilegious
(31:52):
murder has made his masterpiece, and on and on like that.
The good lady tapped me on the knee. All that
stuff was rehearsed, She said, you wouldn't say a lot
of stuff like that offhand, would you if you'd found
a body. She fixed me with a glittering eye. I began,
you're right, she said, you wouldn't unless you had practiced
(32:14):
it in advance. My god, there's a body in here
is what an innocent man would say. She sat back
with a confident glare. I thought for a while, But
what do you make of the third murderer? I asked.
You know, the third murderer has puzzled Macbeth's scholars for
(32:35):
three hundred years. That's because they never thought of McDuff,
said the American lady. It was McDuff. I'm certain you
couldn't have one of the victims murdered by two ordinary thugs.
The murderer always has to be somebody important. But what
about the banquet scene, I asked, after a moment, How
do you account for Macbeth's guilty actions there when Banquo's
(32:58):
ghosts came in and sat in his chair. The lady
leaned forward and tapped me on the knee again. There
wasn't any ghost, she said. A big, strong man like
that doesn't go around seeing ghosts, especially in a brightly
lighted banquet hall with dozens of people around. Macbeth was
shielding somebody. Who was he shielding, I asked missus Macbeth.
(33:24):
Of course, she said he thought she did it, and
he was going to take the rap himself. The husband
always does that when the wife is suspected. But what
I demanded about the sleepwalking scene, then the same thing,
only the other way around, said my companion. That time
she was shielding him. She wasn't asleep at all. Do
(33:47):
you remember where it says enter lady Macbeth with a taper? Yes,
I said, Well, people who walk in their sleep never
carry lights, said my fellow traveler. They have a second sight.
Did you ever hear of a sleepwalker carrying a light? No? Oh,
I said, I never did. Well, then she wasn't asleep.
(34:09):
She was acting guilty to shield Macbeth. I think. I said,
I'll have another brandy, and I called the waiter. When
he brought it, I drank it rapidly and rose to go.
I believe I said that you have got hold of something.
Would you lend me that, Macbeth. I'd like to look
(34:30):
it over tonight. I don't feel somehow as if I've
ever really read it. I'll get it for you, she said,
But you'll find that I'm right. I read the play
over carefully that night, and the next morning, after breakfast,
I sought out the American woman. She was on the
putting green, and I came up behind her silently and
(34:50):
took her arm. She gave an exclamation. Could I see
you alone? I asked in a low voice. She nodded
cautiously and followed me to a secluded spot. You've found
out something, she breathed. I've found out, I said, triumphantly,
the name of the murderer. You mean it wasn't McDuff,
(35:12):
she said. McDuff is as innocent of those murders, I said,
as Macbeth and the Macbeth woman. I opened the copy
of the play, which I had with me, and turned
to act to seem to here, I said, you will
see where Lady Macbeth says, I laid their daggers ready.
(35:33):
He could not miss them. Had he not resembled my
father as he slept, I had done it. Do you see, no,
said the American woman bluntly. I don't. But it's simple,
I exclaimed. I wonder I didn't see it years ago.
The reason Duncan resembled Lady Macbeth's father as he slept,
(35:57):
is that it actually was her father. Good God, breathe
my company softly. Lady Macbeth's father killed the king, I said,
and hearing someone coming, thrust the body under the bed
and crawled into the bed himself. But said the lady.
(36:18):
You can't have a murderer who only appears in the
story once. You can't have that. I know that, I said,
and I turned to Act two, Scene four. It says,
here enter Ross with an old man. Now that old
man is never identified, and it is my contention that
he was old mister Macbeth, whose ambition it was to
(36:39):
make his daughter queen. There you'll have your motive. But
even then, cried the American lady, he's still a minor character, not,
I said, gleefully, when you realize that he was also
one of the weird sisters in disguise. You mean one
of those three witches. Precisely, I said. Listen to this
(37:01):
speech of the old man's. On Tuesday last, a falcon
towering in her pride of place was by a mousing owl,
hawked at and killed. Who does that sound like? It
sounds like the way the three witches talk, said my
companion reluctantly, precisely, I said. Again, Well, said the American woman.
(37:24):
Maybe you're right, but I'm sure I am, I said,
And do you know what I'm going to do now? No?
She said, what buy a copy of Hamlet? I said,
and solve that. My companion's eyes brightened. Then she said,
you don't think Hamlet did it? I am? I said,
(37:48):
absolutely positive he did not. But who? She demanded, who
do you suspect? I looked at her cryptically, everybody, I said,
and disappeared into a small grove of trees as silently
as I had come. The Macbeth Murder Mystery by James Thurber.
(38:27):
I've done all the damage I can do here. Thank
you for listening. I love that story. Countdown Musical directors
Brian Ray and John Phillip Shaneil arranged, produced, and performed
most of our music. Mister Ray was on guitars, bass
and drums. Mister Schnaie handled orchestration and keyboards, and it
was produced by Tko Brothers. Other music, including some of
the Beethoven compositions, arranged and performed by No Horns Allowed.
(38:50):
The sports music is the Oberman theme from ESPN two,
written by Mitch Warren Davis courtesy of ESPN inc. Our
satirical and pithy musical comments are by Nancy Faust, the
best baseball stadium organist ever. Our announcer today was my
friend Stevie van Zandt, and everything house was pretty much
my fault. And that's countdown for this the two hundred
and ninety fourth day until the twenty twenty four US
(39:11):
presidential election, and the one ninth day since dementia Jay
Trump's first attempted coup against the democratically elected government of
the United States. Use the Fourteenth Amendment, use the Insurrection Act,
use the justice system to stop him from doing it
again while we still can. The next scheduled countdown is Tuesday.
(39:33):
Bulletins is the news warrants till then. I'm Keith Olderman.
Good morning, good afternoon, goodnight, and good luck. Countdown with
(39:55):
Keith Oldreman is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts
from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or where
wherever you get your podcasts.
Host
Keith Olbermann
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