Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to Criminalia, a production of Shondaland Audio in partnership
with iHeartRadio. Hey, before the show starts today, we have
a little bit of fun news to share.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
We have had a secret.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
We have been working very diligently for the past many
months on creating something that a lot of you have
been asking for, and that is a book of cocktails
and mocktails that are told right alongside the stories that
we talk about.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Plus additional ones that we have not talked about.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
That's right. This book is about half stories you have heard,
although they've been abridged, alongside their cocktails and brand news
stories that we are telling, and brand new cocktails that
we have never had before.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
We are on pre order now so you can order
up and wait for it to hit in October.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
That's right. It is going to be out on October fifteenth,
and you can order it now just about anywhere books
are sold. Check out your local bookstores and see if
they're going to have it. All right, let's jump into
the episode.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Welcome to the final episode of our season, exploring worthless
and often dangerous remedies that were promoted as cure rolls
good for whatever may ail you and by extension the
snake oil salesman, a bunch of quacks and ripoff artists
who advertised and peddled those fraudulent goods. Welcome to Criminalia.
(01:30):
I'm Maria Tremarki.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
And I'm Holly Frye. We went into this season assuming
the worst, and it was pretty bad news, to be honest.
But it's not as though all patent medicine products were
going to kill you. Although a lot of them were
indeed harmful, some were just placebos, and there were some
actually that may have helped you with your ills, even
if that was accidentally the case, and some, well, some
(01:56):
turned legit. Take doctor Pepper for instance. It was originally
advertised back in eighteen eighty five as a brain tonic.
It didn't have a harmful ingredient list. It just didn't
really adhere to truth in advertising. But as we know,
it went on to become what is now the number
two best selling carbonated soft drink in the United States.
(02:16):
It's tied with Pepsi for that distinction.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Let's take a moment to look at some of those
proprietary medicines that did go legit for a change of pace,
and we'll start with an unlikely item on the list.
Back in the eighteen thirties, tomato ketchup was sold as medicine,
with manufacturers claiming it could cure ailments like diarrhea, indigestion,
(02:40):
and jaundice. Tomato ketchup, which does not do any of
those things, by the way, has become one of the
most popular condiments in the United States because it tastes
great with burgers and fries, not because it helps heartburn.
A few other now legitimate products that got their start
as patent medicines include Vic's me Croup salve, invented in
(03:02):
eighteen ninety four and now known as Vic Vapor rub.
The first menthol cough drop, now known as Ludin's throat drops,
went on the market in eighteen seventy nine and are
still available today and in several flavors.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
And then there are some that started out a bit problematic,
but reformulations not only made them safe but also gave
them longevity. Dons kidney pills were sold as a remedy
for lower back pain that was caused by kidney ailments,
but its early formula contained potassium nitrate, which would actually
irritate and even cause damage to kidneys that were already diseased,
(03:39):
but today now known as Don's pills, the formula is
safe and popular. The ant acid bromo Seltzer, invented in
eighteen eighty eight, originally contained a seedon nylide as its
analgesic ingredient. That's an ingredient that we now know to
be poisonous. The effervescent tablets on the shelves today have
been reformulated, and the product remained a go to for
(04:01):
many Americans trying to relieve their heartburn other things like
Angusterrabitters began as a medicinal tincture designed to alleviate stomach ailments. Today,
of course that's available at your local liquor store, but
it is no longer sold as having medicinal properties.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Whether it was Clark Stanley's literal snake oil liniment, William
Bailey's use of radium to cure coughs, or traveling medicine
shows like the Kickapoo Indian Medicine Company, we dove into
a deep pool of mostly alarming proprietary medicines. This season,
there's been a lot of quackery going on when it
(04:40):
comes to self help health care, and despite that many
have been horrific or just unbelievably uninformed. We have enjoyed
sharing these cautionary tales slash historical stories with you. Now,
if you haven't been with us during previous seasons, we
have a tradition here every season finale at Criminalia, Ollie
and I pick our favorite shows and our favorite cocktails
(05:02):
and mocktails, and we would love to see photos of
the drinks if you tried them from the season, so
tag Criminalia on social media and we will find them.
But before we talk about those favorites, we're going to
take a quick break forward from our sponsors and we
will meet you right back here.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Welcome back to Criminalia. All right, let's get started with
our top three personal picks of this season's patent medicine. Maria,
do you want to start?
Speaker 2 (05:41):
I would love to start. I actually chose, I have
a lot. I chose for my very first the very
first episode of the season, The Rattlesnake King, the cowboy
turned snake oil salesman named Clark Stanley because this was
a man who cautioned people against selling fake versions of
(06:03):
his snake oil liniment. While he was selling fake rattlesnake
versions of the real snake oil from Chinese origin. I
just felt like, man, that guy has gravitas. Like he's like.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
It's that old adage where the accuser is really telling
you what they're doing.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Exactly, and he did it on stage too. He's like,
look at me making fake snake or right. I just
thought that was a great way to kick off the season,
the literal snake oil season, and his showmanship I thought
just really kicked things off great.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
My number one favorite might surprise you. Maybe it's the Shakers.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Oh my gosh, I'm gonna I'm going to spoiler alert
my own. My number two are the Shakers. Yeah, they
landed for me too. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
So I love this one because it's the outlier in
terms of like, no, they actually did know a lot
about herbal remedies, and none of their stuff was sold
in a way that was going to kill you. Likely
nothing was really especially harmful. They did seem to understand
all of it. Had other people not picked up their
(07:15):
recipes and adulterated them, they probably would have retained a
pretty pristine reputation, right. So I like it just because
it doesn't start with a weasel.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
I felt exactly the same way about this, I felt
like I was surprised. I didn't expect that I was
going to put it on my list of tops, but
here it is. I thought it was a really interesting
episode too, because when people think of Shakers, they don't
think of these types of medicines. They don't think of
herbal remedies, I think in general, and unfortunately, I think
for them, they were making their medicines at a time
(07:48):
when there was a lot of shady proprietary medicine trade
going on, but they were legit, and that's why they
ended up on my list. It was just a refreshing episode.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
To talk back exactly. Had the Industrial Revolution not happened
at the time it did, we we may have enjoyed
Shaker medicine for a much longer period of time, exactly exactly.
So do you want to move into your next or
do you want me to do either way? It's fine.
I'll talk about my next one because I just like it.
(08:19):
It's Vin Marianni. Here's what I love about this episode.
She is making this cocaine laden beverage, and it's the
part that I love, which already is Oh, we've all
known that this was the thing that happened right.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
The part that I love is when he wanted to
market it in the US and they were like, there's
not nearly enough cocaine to this word. I know we're
used to at This isn't even going to register for
consumers in North America. This when people like to talk
about the wholesomeness of the good old days. I'm gonna
(08:58):
think about this every time. I like, because they were
all jacked on cocaine all the time. Everybody feels good.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
But that's going on I am. I'm going to skip
ahead to because Ben Mariannie was one of my Honorable mentions,
So I'm going to talk about that while we're talking
just in general about this episode, and it made my
honorable Mentions list because of the influencers. I loved the
fact that this product is known in history as what
(09:27):
we would know as influencers in our lifetime, and that
two of them were popes. I loved this episode. It
touched on so many things for me.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Wouldn't it be funny if we had a lot of
advertising and endorsement deals featuring the Pope net like where
He's just like, I love you know, product dex.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
I keep it in my hit flask for when I
need it during the day, will pick me up. My third,
which is actually I think my favorite show of the
season was Patent Medicines for Women featuring Lydia Pinkom.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
I loved a few things about this episode and about her.
There were problematic things, and I did not overlook them.
She had a lot of alcohol in her products, but
she also formulated them with plants that are traditionally used
for relieving menstrual cramps and menopausal symptoms. But she was
a product of her time and there was a lot
(10:25):
of alcohol involved in this as well. Yeah, Lydia stood
out from her other Patent Medicines for Women manufacturers because
women trusted her and she was into women's rights. She
was into women knowing about their bodies. She was into
women understanding how their bodies worked. And women trusted her,
(10:47):
and she wrote back to them when they had questions.
She engaged with her audience, and she wasn't trying to
kill anybody. She was trying to be helpful.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
And at a time when pretty much anything a woman
did that wasn't I feel great. You have hysteria, you.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Have mental problems, and you must be given these the
following seven remedies and go into an asylum, which sounds horrifying.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Right, which, let's be cleared, that problem is not over.
Women today often struggle to get proper health care Black
women disproportionately, people do not take their symptoms seriously. It's
not that hard for me to imagine why a whole
population of women got really excited about someone going, no,
(11:32):
your problems are real. I hear you. Let's talk about it.
I understand what's going on. That in and of itself
is intoxicating. You could leave the alcohol ec someone be like, no,
your complaints are valid. I know you have actual pain
and concerns. Explains why she was so popular to me.
She was one of my honorable mentions this time, right.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
She Yeah, she was my favorite episode this season.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
My third choice, and I have one honorable mention after
this was the tapeworm episode Deck, which oh, I know
was icky, but one of the things I liked the
most about it, and it was not a big part
of the episode, was that we did that little bit
of mythbusting of a lot of these were not functional.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
They were inactive, empty or inactive ingredients.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Right, because we that's one of those historical factoids that
gets repeated all the time. People took tapeworms. One we
mentioned in the episode people do still do that. But two.
So much of any diet or wellness industry is really
built around the fact that it either doesn't work or
(12:41):
it works just a little so that you'll keep coming
back and buying more. And in this case that if
it wasn't working, you would just keep buying these not
real or not functional tapeworms. Just saying that sounds so
odd coming out of my mouth. I'll just keep buying tapeworms.
I did like that. We pointed out a lot of this.
You weren't ingesting anything that was active. People didn't, in fact,
(13:05):
often have parasites running through their bodies because they weren't
getting that right. I just thought they did so a
whole other ball of fascinating wax.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
So I had an honorable mention that was very similar
to what you're pointing out. So it is Elishah Perkins,
and he invented and sold the metallic the Perkins metallic tractors,
and yeah, you'll be healed if they touch your skin. Whatever.
Elijah like that was not the reason for choosing the
reason for choosing him was that despite the fact that
(13:36):
his tractors were total bunk, they held scientific significance. Is
one of the first examples in a scientific study of
the placebo effect and how that worked in the eighteen hundreds,
just as it was working today, and how people even
like George Washington needed to have some for everybody in
his family because they worked great, but they didn't work
at all, you know, to the same point as the tapeworms.
(14:00):
If you think they work, they work.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Yeah. I feel like we are still only as a
species understanding the mind over matter thing. But the problem
there is an over compensatory flip in interpretation where a
lot of people are like, if you just thought hard
about it, you could get better. And that's not always
the case.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
No, you're not going to cure your tumors just because
you're right.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
You're not going to magically be well. But there are
benefits to having.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
In certain areas. Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Yeah, So it's a little I think that's part of
why we don't understand it yet, is that people want
to grasp onto something that sounds very positive and easy
to do and has positive effects running with that, and
it's like, no, no, we actually need data, but it
is also hard to create a data set that is
based on do you feel like you have a sunny outlook?
(14:57):
That's not something that's easily quantifiable.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
So if you think about it hard enough, does your
pain level decrease? That's really something difficult to scientifically study.
I imagine.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Yeah, I have one more honorable mention, and this actually
ties into our female complaints because it's Madam Yale and
it is very parallel to that one in terms of
like her giving these lectures to women. Unfortunately, in her case,
it was more about just be more like me and
not so much. I hear you, I want.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
To I want to help you. Let's talk.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Just you want to be cute like I am? Why
can't you just be cute like me? She had that
narrow standard of beauty. If you need to be plumply
and Rosalie cheeked, blonde lady who's naturally pretty, just be
like me. You guys like that fruit Cura will.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Give you that that like fruit cure.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
I like it because it does address thee of women
not being heard. But I also like it because it's
a cautionary tale of like, I know that when people
say this is for an underserved group. People want to
believe what that person is saying, but sometimes they're also
spewing poison. Also, I still marvel in all of this
(16:19):
anytime all of the various things that people gave women
to deal with their lives come up. The one that
pops out at me from this particular episode is opium
soaked tampons.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Oh yes, those, I will never forget talking.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
My lord, no wonder there were people with very low
life expectancy. We were putting a lot of weird stuff
in our bodies that didn't belong there. But yeah, madam, yeah,
I wish things like fertilizer tablets worked, could take away
ladies gas, or that her antiseptic would make you beautiful
(17:00):
and would cure all skin conditions. Great blush of youth.
Bring it on. Skin food sounds like a very modern product, right.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
It sounds very hydrating.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
It does is gonna help you. But then we get
and also like complexion, bleach girl, get out of here
with that. I come on, I don't want it. I
don't want it. Look like me. Just be like me,
you guys, then you'll be fine. You'll be so beautiful product.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
There there's a lot of time and place in this
and that the standard of beauty was not exactly the same.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Listen, while she was madam yaling it, I would have
been the person that was like trying to seek out
the scary bram Stoker ladies, here's my standard of beauty. Pale.
That's fine, but it's because she's a vampire.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
I think there's a pill that can help you with that.
From eighteen ninety six.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Not germane to this. But I could talk about bram
Stoker for a long time. But did you have any
other honorable mentions?
Speaker 2 (18:04):
I did not. I almost had another one. I'll tell
you who it is. I almost put Perry Davis down,
and not because of his painkiller patent medicine, not because
of his marketing, but because he trademarked the word painkiller
before anybody, and then he was suing people in his
(18:25):
competitors who tried to use it, and that, to me
was one of the first examples in patent medicine. Even
though that's a really well known generic term to us today.
He was really trying to hold on to the word painkiller,
and nobody else that we talked about really fixated on
what they were calling their medicine and were like, oh,
I'll just add another word. If that's not okay with
(18:45):
the Pure Food Act, doesn't matter to me. So he
didn't end up on my list, but he almost ended
up on my list. And it's because he was trying
to be perhaps maybe smart business man during his tenure.
But thank you, mister Dave.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
You know, perhaps show up in our next segment. But
before we get to that.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
There may be a great drink and inspired.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
But before we dive into our top three cocktails of
mocktails of the season, we are going to take a
break for a word from our sponsor. We will be
right back.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Welcome back to Criminalia. Let's talk about the drinks that
appeared in our Cocktails and Mocktails segment at the bottom
of each episode. And this was a big season. There
are a lot of drinks to choose here.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
We're a lot we have what nineteen. I got real
creative with some of them.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Yes you did, Yes you did. The first one that
I picked was this was one of your most creative
drinks this season, and had to put it on the list,
and it was worm Killer inspired by the Kickapoo Indian
Medicine Company episode and it's because this begins with the
making of rhubarb syrup.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
I knew you were gonna pick it for that reason,
right because you got really excited about rooburb syrup I did.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
I was like, rhubarb, are you kidding me? We've never
had that in any of our episodes. Since, of course
it had to end up on my list. Rubarb syrup
is really very easier making simple syrup, and you are
adding a couple two three stocks of Roubard to it,
if I recall diicing them up, letting them sit for
a little while, turn they until your syrup turns pink
and tastes delicious, and you let it reduce, and then
(20:29):
you can use it for everything. One of the things
that I liked about this is that it didn't just
have to go in this cocktail or mocktail, but it
could also go in club soda, It could go in lemonade,
It could go in I don't like the taste of water,
so like, it could go in sparkling water. It could
go in whatever you want to go on your pancakes.
Like it can go anywhere. And this syrup, to me
(20:50):
just was lovely and fantastic, and thank you for it.
So the cocktail, if I recall, is a tequila based
it is.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
It is so, it is. It is three quarters of
an ounce of lime juice, three quarters of an ounce
of that rhubarb syrup, an ounce and a half of
Repizoto tequila, and a splash of aniset, and then you
shake it and strain it over fresh ice, and you
top it with a little bit of ginger beer, like
an ounce and a half. To make it a mocktail,
you would use licorice syrup in lieu of that aniset
(21:21):
and then skip the tequila completely. Add a few drops
of saline to the mix, and you're just gonna bump
up the amount of ginger beer that you used.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Equally good as the cocktail. I've had often I try
to try both of them, and sometimes I have a favorite.
Sometimes it's the mocktail, sometimes it's the cocktail. Love both
of these great drink.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Yeah, easy to drink. My first one, which I teased
before the break, is the vegetable painkiller that we made
in the Perry Davis episode. And can I just tell
you this is one of those drinks that I'm like
a little obsessed with. I put it on my home
bar menu under a different name because that has a
(22:04):
Star Wars theme. But it's just one of those drinks.
I do tiki bars, and I like a pain killer,
but I like this one so much more because sometimes
pain killers can feel very heavy to me because there
is a lot of heavy juice, and so this one
subs out the orange juice. Normally it's pineapple juice with
a little orange juice. This one subs out the orange
(22:25):
juice completely for carrot juice, so you end up with
the prominent one is carrot juice, and then just a
little pineapple juice and that lightens it up and gives
it a whole new fresh flavor.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Really, I'm in love with it. I love it so much.
Vegetable painkiller is two ounces of carrot juice, a half
ounce of pineapple juice, three quarters of an ounce of
cream of coconut, one and a half ounces of rum,
and a half ounce of ginger liqueur. And then I
like to use my frother for this one. Just stick
it in there and let it get nice and blended together.
(22:59):
Then I shook it with ice and strained it over
fresh ice. Normally a painkiller gets a little nutmeg on top.
You can do that here, but I don't think it
needs it. And then to make the mocktail. To make
the mocktail, you are gonna use ginger syrup in lieu
of ginger liqueur, and then a low sugar white grape
(23:20):
juice instead of the rum. Sometimes when we sub out
for rum using white grape juice, we either shift its
flavor a little with a tea or something. I don't
recommend it in this one, because you want to keep
the flavor a little lighter and brighter so you can
get all that carroty goodness and feel like you're getting
yummy vegetables.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
The addition of carrot juice to this most wonderful. It
really brings something different to a drink. I can't say
that I've had a lot of drink alcoholic drink cocktails
with carrots.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
People should be doing it more. I love carrot juice,
obviously they too, and it is it's one of those
ways that you can get a fruit juice in there.
Let's not get technical. I know it's vegetable juice, a
juice that has that fruity or flavor because it is
such a sweet vegetable compared to some others without it
getting quite as heavy. I'm that person. If I'm going
(24:11):
out for drinks, I'm probably gonna have several because I
like to drink just alcoholic or not. I just like
to always be sipping on a beverage and so I
can often tend to drink more than I mean to,
and if it's a heavy one, then I just feel
like garbage because I'm like, no, I'm puffy and bloated
and full, and I feel like I ate cheesecake that
(24:32):
was alcoholic, which is great, but will never do to
something you want to do all the time. So that's
why I love playing with carrot juice and cocktails. What's
your next one?
Speaker 2 (24:42):
So my next one is the Drink Lady Business, which
is inspired by our most recent episode featuring Lydia Pinkham
again and here's why. There were a lot of great
drinks on this season's list. But this particular drink combines
strawberry and dil and I'm not gonna say it's an
(25:02):
uncommon pairing, but it isn't as common as like a
strawberry basil right pairing. So it brings a little grassiness,
it brings a little liquishiness, and it cuts back on
what for me could turn into a pretty sweet drink
if it had been strawberry basil, right, And I'm always
looking for things that are a little less sweet. And
it was a super easy ingredient list. An ounce of
(25:26):
lemon juice, an ounce of strawberry del syrup, one and
a half ounces of rum, I believe, and a half
an ounce of cognac and you shake it, strain it,
and you top it off with club soda and it's delicious. Now,
Unfortunately I do not have the mock tail version with me.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
I do. She excited to put it in the document
I sent her, But this is super easy. This is
one where you're gonna make full disclosure. You're gonna make
one substitution for those two alcohols that are in it.
So you'll use your one ounce of lemon, your one
ounce of strawberry dil syrup, but instead of using r
and cognac, what you're gonna do is simmer together a
(26:03):
half cup of white grape juice a half cup of
water with a tea bag with a black tea bag.
And this is when I mentioned it in the episode.
You can use your kind of stale, slightly older tea bags.
This is a good way to use them because it's
gonna give it that rounder body that cognac has, and
the white grape juice is a good rum sub and
(26:23):
so you'll just use two ounces of that once it's
cooled off instead of doing two different things, and then
you're good. The rest is the same, shake it, strain
it club soda. Yet very easy, very tasty, super easy.
I think probably it's pretty obvious at this point. I
love throwing a little cognac in almost anything.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
It's obvious, but it's good.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
It's just it's got such a great body. And some
cognacs aren't meant to be included in drinks, so you
don't need to buy the super expensive, fancy pants unicorn
ones obviously, but others are great. There's one that I
get at my liquor store too, that's a vanilla cognac,
which like goes wow and so much stuff and I
love it. I just like knyak frankly. Okay. My next one, yes,
(27:07):
was the Cure Nothing, which is part of our big
SaaS Ferla episode. Because again I got creative with syrups
this season. This one really started with a dandelion syrup.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
I actually have this one as an honorable mention because
you made dandelions. Come o.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
I already have a syrup bind up for next season
that I can't wait to spring on you, but this one.
So to make your dandallion syrup, it's super easy. You're
just going to gather a handful of dandelions from your
yard if you want. If you have Carolina desert chickory,
which looks very similar to dandelions, that is also fine
to use. The flavor is ever so slightly different. But
(27:45):
as I said in the episode, and I will always say,
anytime you're foraging, just be really careful. Use an app
that identifies plants if you can, just to triple check yourself.
But dandelions are pretty recognizable for most folks. So you're
gonna get a handful, You're gonna clean them really well,
and then you're just gonna take the actual petals. You
(28:06):
want to clean them well because you can have surprise
visitors when you pick things off of your lawns. You
don't want that. So you're gonna pluck the petals from
the stems, just drop them into a saucepan with one
in a quarter cups of water and a cup of
sugar or sugar substitute. I should always say that in
our recipes, and I don't. But if you don't want
to use sugar, you can use a sugar substitute most
(28:28):
of the time it's gonna work pretty well. Then you'll
heat it on medium until it comes to a boil,
Reduce it, let it simmer down until it's reduced by
about half, let it cool and strain, and then you
have your wonderful dandelion syrup. To make your drink. You're
gonna use three quarters of an ounce of that dandelion syrup,
three quarters of an ounce of lemon juice, one and
(28:48):
a half ounces of rye. You could shake those together
if you want. I built this one in the glass
because it just seemed easy to me, because you're then
gonna add three to four ounces of a low sugar
root be I love this drink so much. It is
different than almost any of the others we've done in profile.
(29:08):
I don't know. It's got a nice vibe, it's a
little summary, it has a bright flavor. I love root
beer anything anyway, oh the best. So the mocktail version
is really easy. Instead of doing rye, you're going to
brew a black tea with some bitters or put some
black pepper in it, and same thing, you'll use an
ounce and a half, So that would be three quarters
(29:29):
of an ounce of dandelions syrup, three quarters of an
ounce of lemon juice, an ounce and a half of
your tea, and then three to four ounces of your
low sugar root beer Delicious.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
It came so close to being on my list that
it was my one honorable mention. And I kept going
back and forth actually between the Women's Health episode drink
and the dandelions here, but I eventually landed on the
strawberry Dell. So my next final drink is okay. So
let me just say I am a girl who loves
eggnogs and milkshakes and drinks that have warm spices in
(30:03):
them like nutmeg and clove. And I realized that it's
summertime where we are right now, so I'm not doing
a lot of eggnogs in my life. But this is
Buckland's nog, and it was inspired by the episode featuring h.
Bucklin and Company of Chicago, and it is like a
summer milkshake. It's lovely. It is half a cup of
(30:26):
coconut milk, two tablespoons of egg white, two tablespoons of
simple or vanilla syrup. I used simple syrup because I
tend to go a little less sweet. Half a cup
of watermelon chunks, one drop of vanilla extract, and an
ounce and a half of whiskey. And there was an
optional but it was not optional for me, which was
the splash of cream to make it a little bit
(30:47):
thicker and consistency. This is a delicious drink. This is
like the summertime should be super heavy eggnog milk shaky
type drink that's not right as heavy as you expect
it to be. It's it's a nice change to be
able to drink something like that in ninety degree weather.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Right, And for the mocktail on that, you can just
leave out the whiskey, or you can add an ounce
and a half of black tea if you want to
keep the consistency the same.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
I have tried it without the whiskey, but not with
the black tea, and I can say that without the
whiskey it is also delicious. The tea I can't speak to.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Yeah, And this is one that you because of those
watermelon chunks, You're gonna you're gonna give this a blend, yes,
which is super duper yummy.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Rue.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
My next one is also I didn't realize it when
I was selecting them. I try to balance stuff throughout
the season, but clearly I have a repeat defender in here.
This one is Open Secret, which was the Daffy's Elixir one,
and the reason it's a repeat defender is that it
has a little skosh of cognac in it. But this
one was the one that I got really excited about saffron.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
I remember this episode, Yeah, that is the saffron drink. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
I wanted to make a little shift on a classic gimlet.
So in this one, you're gonna take a pinch of saffron,
like a third of a tea spoon, and put it
in an airtight container with six ounces of gin. You're
not going to use all six ounces in this one,
so you can make many or play with that gin
for something else. Just give it a shake, let it
sit overnight or just for like six to eight hours.
(32:23):
Shake it additional times if you want, but you don't
really have to. And then you just want to strain
out those little saffron strings. Put it in a fresh
vessel in your good. So then to make the drink,
get out your shaking tin and put in two ounces
of that saffron infused gin, three quarters of an ounce
of lime juice, three quarters of an ounce of simple
(32:44):
or vanilla syrup, and then just a half ounce of cognac,
and then you will shake that and pour it into
a pre chilled glass, and it is so good.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
Gin is one of those that I have had to
come around to over the Yeah, it was never one
of my very pay I really enjoy whiskey, but gin
was not one of the ones, and I have come
around to it. Yeah, totally like gin drinks, but the
surf run infreused gin is really, really, really lovely. I
should have tried that earlier on to come around to
(33:15):
see too.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
It didn't occur to me until that time.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
I didn't know.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
If you want to make the mocktail for this instead
of gin, you're going to use a flat tonic and
put that saffron in it. Make sure it is actually
flat before you shake it in a closed vessel because
it will pop on you. And then for the kognak,
you can do white grape juice that's been soaked with
black tea. You could heat it if you want, but
not for very long. If you don't heat it, you'll
(33:39):
want to let that white grape juice sit with your
tea for like thirty minutes or longer. But that's a
super easy sub out. And since you're not making very
much of it, it's you could even leave it out,
although why would you. It's yeah, don't leave it out.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
Don't love it? I love it. I love it.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
What do you have on your honorable mentions?
Speaker 2 (33:57):
So I have an honorable mention? It is sugared swamproot. Yeah,
and it is Andrew Kilmer and his brother Jonas. It
almost made my actual lists. This hits all these flavors
that I really like, because, as I was talking earlier,
I really like those warm spice flavors. This one has cinnamon.
(34:18):
It has dark spiced rum, which goes really great with
the apple juice that's in it. And there's a little
glass rimmed with cinnamon and sugar. And it is not
a drink that I would have frequently because I find
it to be sweet me and sweet. We know it's
an issue, but it's a fantastic drink. While it's summertime
(34:40):
here and I'm talking about this drink. It's actually a
drink that I really want to drink holiday wid Yeah,
so for me, it's kind of an all year round.
Sprinkle of cinnamon on top is not optional, it's got
to be there kind of drink. Now I hit the
notes of that drink. I know that in the mocktail
we swapped out the rum for I believe chai tea,
(35:02):
which is a wonderful flavor for the mocktail. Like, I
think that these are equally good cocktail mocktail drinks. They
are very similar actually in flavor as well, despite the
fact that one does not have alcohol in it.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
Yeah, those measures, in case you want them, are a
half ounce of simple syrup, a quarter ounce of cinnamon
liqueur so not very much, three quarters of an ounce
of lemon juice, an ounce and a half of dark
spiced rum, three ounces of low sugar apple juice. And
you will shake those in your shaking tin with ice,
strain it into a glass that is rimmed with cinnamon
(35:40):
and sugar and it has fresh ice in it, and
then you can sprinkle a little cinnamon on top if
you want. Maria's choice not optional.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
As she said optional, And then you will.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
Just as we said, use a chai tea in lieu
of dark rum, same measure, and then cinnamon syrup in
lieu of a liqueur. We're keeping it very simple. I
have two honorable mentions. My first is the mud Cure.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
Oh okay, yeah, yeah, I remember this where I think
you exclaimed a protein shake, says, I believe this is
This was also the episode where you suggested banana protein
shake and coffee, and I will never forget this episode
because of that.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
It's delicious I had at this time. So that's the
Harry Lewis Kramer episode and this one. We also had
a post recording discussion about protein shakes, and so in
this discussion, I feel like I should say protein shakes
one better than they used to be in my So
if you haven't had them in a million years, it's
(36:43):
worth trying trying them again. They're a lot smoother and creamier.
They're more like a shake. So this one is four
ounces of a vanilla or similar protein shake. I think
I mentioned I had a cake batter one that I
used in my mind, which was delicious, an outs and
a half of tequila. I used to use a reposato,
but you can use a blanco or a silver, a
(37:04):
half ounce of vanilla liqueur, anything like a Galleano vanilla
or a LeCure forty three, and then one point five
barspoons of hot cocoa powder. It's not hot, it is
for hot cocoa. The way I emphasized it may have
been confusing. And then three dashes of angusta bitters, and
then I used my frother in it again to get
everything smooth and really nicely incorporated. And then I shook
(37:28):
it with ice. I poured it over fresh ice and
put a little cocoa powder on.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
Top, not optional.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
And I really love this one as a desserty drink.
That is also a dangerous one because you cannot tell
that there's a bunch of tequila in it. For the mocktail,
you're just gonna use alo juice instead of tequila, and
then vanilla syrup instead of vanilla liqueur. You can also
use salt or saline instead of doing those bitters if
(37:56):
you are staying completely away from all alcohol, since bitters
do contains But I just like it again. It's one
that when you want a sweet desserted drink and you
want the feeling of ice cream, but without the weight
of ice cream. Clearly, we just don't want heavy drinks.
I think because it is summer and it's so hot,
heavy drinks sound awful.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
It's true. Now, like I slotted in a nog for
my in my top three, and as I was doing it,
I actually had a conversation with myself about it doesn't
matter that it's the summertime right now, drink that you love,
put it on your list.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
Yes, do you have another honorable mention?
Speaker 2 (38:33):
I do not, so let's hear you.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
I have my last one. My last one was Cherubs Wings,
which is the Angelo Marianni Cocaine white episode. And that's
because this is also just a fun blended drink. So
as a reminder, this is a half cup of canned papaya,
which is very candy l like, an ounce and a
half of green tea you want that unsweetened, an ounce
(38:56):
and a half of pineapple juice, three ounces of port wine,
and then a half to a third of a cup
of ice cubes, and then you just blend it all together,
pour it in a tall glass with a straw, and
you're off to the races. If you don't want to
do it alcoholic, you don't drink the port. You use
low sugar grape juice instead, And that is a really
(39:16):
good summary. Slush green tea and papaya in a slush
is real good.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
I'm picking like warm spices like cinnamon and nutmeg again.
And there's this papaya pineapple drink waiting for me, like
pineapple and papaya, please, I love it. I love it.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
Those were my favorite drinks this time around. Like I said,
we'll see what's gonna happen exactly.
Speaker 2 (39:39):
You did some wonderful syrups this season.
Speaker 1 (39:42):
Yeah, I mean, it's one of those things. One of
my hopes always on the show is that people that
maybe haven't made cocktails and are interested in them, that
want to get beyond just a spirit and a soda
of some type as a mixer or a basic mixer,
and just want to do something a little more. I
almost want to shrug away from the word elevated because
that makes it sound fancy and it doesn't have to
(40:03):
be fancy, but just something that has a little bit
more play in it, right, just a little bit more.
It's not that hard. And once you know how to
make like a syrup, you the sky's the limit. You
could put anything in there that you find and you
want to play with, and I'm gonna I'm telling you,
I have one for next season that you're gonna be like, why, Holly, why? Uh?
Speaker 2 (40:23):
Was it already on my list of top three?
Speaker 1 (40:25):
I don't know, I don't know there was.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
One, And I think it happened to beat the nog
that I knew going in, like when it was fairly
early in the season and when you were discussing the
drink at the end of the episode, I remember thinking
to myself, God, we're not that far into the season,
but I already know that this is one of my
top threes.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
Yeah, sometimes you think that. Sometimes they get turned upside down.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
Right, Sometimes not so much, but you never know.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
We want to make sure that we thank you so
much for joining us for this final episode of our
season on snake oil products and the Weasley people who
sold them, not all Weasels. We should amend. Primarily, though,
we hope that you will join us next week for
the first episode of a brand new season, which Maria,
what is it about?
Speaker 2 (41:14):
Our next season will be about criminal duos and stories
about partners in crime throughout history, So we will see
you there.
Speaker 1 (41:30):
Criminalia is a production of Shondaland Audio in partnership with iHeartRadio.
For more podcasts from Shondaland Audio, please visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.