October 9, 2025 • 35 mins
Codie Elaine Oliver is a master builder of culture, community, and visibility. As the co-creator of the Black Lovedocuseries and founder of BlackLove.com, Codie has dedicated her life to amplifying stories that show the full spectrum of Black love, family, healing, and entrepreneurship.
In this soul-stirring episode of Culture Raises Us, host Astor Chambers sits down with Codie to unpack the movement behind the media. From navigating ownership in Hollywood to balancing motherhood, wellness, and entrepreneurship, Codie shares how storytelling became her calling—and why she refuses to water anything down for comfort.
This is a conversation about love as a cultural cornerstone, mentorship as responsibility, and authenticity as a non-negotiable. Whether she’s leading retreats, producing podcasts like The Mama’s Den, or helping shape safe spaces for Black families to be seen and celebrated, Codie is living proof that storytelling is not just art—it’s a public service.
You’ll learn:
- How Black Love became a platform and not just a series
- Why ownership matters more than virality
- How motherhood shaped her as a leader
- Why transparency and vulnerability are at the root of impact
- The power of Black women creating space for each other
- How to nurture culture while protecting your own peace
Codie leaves us with three timeless seeds for future stewards of culture: take up space, mentor those behind you, and lead with love.
This episode is a masterclass on creating from a place of purpose and leading from the heart.
Chapter Markers:
00:00 – Culture, Wisdom & the Power of Story
01:22 – Creating Space for Black Love Stories
03:10 – From Howard to Hollywood: Owning the Vision
05:05 – Leaving Journalism to Pursue Joy
07:12 – Discovering the Power of Black Romcoms
09:00 – From the Obamas to the Black Marriage Myth
11:18 – The Birth of Black Love Series
13:31 – Navigating Insecurity and Delays in Creation
15:05 – Meeting Tommy & Creating the Docuseries
17:12 – The Importance of Black Ownership
19:48 – Why Black Love Took Two Years to Build
22:10 – Choosing a Licensing Deal with OWN
24:19 – Monetizing the Platform: Merch, FAST Channels, and Spin-offs
26:44 – Expanding the Brand: BlackLove.com & The Mama’s Den
28:16 – Creating Safe Spaces for Motherhood
30:17 – Transparency Over Clickbait: Choosing Depth
32:21 – Staying Grounded in a Microwave Culture
34:12 – Mental Health, Empathy & Holding Space
36:55 – Allyship, DEI Backlash & Standing Up for Each Other
39:27 – Faith, Humanity & the Politics of Love
42:02 – Codie’s 3 Seeds: Take Up Space, Mentor, Lead With Love
🏷️ YouTube Keywords (500 character max):
Codie Elaine Oliver, Black Love series, BlackLove.com, The Mama’s Den, Astor Chambers, Black storytelling, Black ownership in media, motherhood and leadership, women in film and TV, Black female creators, DEI in Hollywood, culture podcast, creating safe spaces, leading with love, authenticity in media, inspirational Black women, black romcoms, faith and humanity, black marriage myths, transparency in storytelling, mentorship, entrepreneurship, cultural representation, Culture Raises Us
#CodieElaineOliver #BlackLove #CultureRaisesUs #BlackStorytelling #LeadWithLove #BlackOwnership #BlackCreatives #TheMamasDen #BlackWomenInFilm #SafeSpaces #BlackCultureMatters #AuthenticVoices #CulturalRepresentation #DEI #MentorshipMatters
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
To who much is given, much is required. Part of
that requirement is sharing. Culture is the heartbeat within our lives,
and it's at the core of so many things. While
we live in a time when we are starving for wisdom,
I welcome you to your wisdom retreat. That culture raises us.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Black people aren't getting married or staying married as often
as other communities. These are the things that we're being told.
I knew that I wanted to create a place where
black love stories live.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Cody Elaine Oliver is an accomplished film and TV producer
who co created a series called Black Love with her
husband Tommy. This series features couples opening up about the joys, challenges,
and realities of love within the Black community. Has evolved
into a holistic platform centered around basically celebrating the Black community.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Ownership comes with sacrifice. One must be willing to do
a lot of work up frunt in order to truly
own what you want to create. You got to create it.
You got to take it as far as you can
so that no one can say no. Actually, that was
my We have a responsibility to bring others along. We
can't just fight for us, have to shepherd those coming
(01:07):
after us. If we don't show up as love and
fight for humanity and what that means, then we can't win.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Signature question. When you hear culture, what does that mean
to you?
Speaker 2 (01:26):
You know, I thought about this question, and I realize
that when I say culture, it's often interchangeable with community
for me, because I look at our community, the Black
community specifically, and I see culture. And so often when
I'm talking about one, I'm talking about the other. How
we define so much around us, right, we do it
(01:47):
for ourselves, you know. We create music and art and fashion,
and we create all of this to grow closer to
each other and to engage with each other, and we
have for centuries, but it has defined the greater culture.
So I'm always talking about us when I'm talking about
(02:08):
culture and community.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Talk about you know, giving your experience within the content
creation space over the years, what was that particular moment
when you realize just how big and instrumental content was,
And even if you want to go through it through
the lens of Black culture, which is probably going to
be your sweet spot, that you remember that moment where
(02:31):
you saw the impact of how it impacts all of
our global ecosystem.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Yeah, I mean I would say first, it was probably
much smaller than that. I recognize how content made me
feel and the gifts learnings and education that it gave me.
So I say that to say I always knew I
wanted to be in a creative space, even though I
went to Howard University and I had studied marketing at first,
(02:57):
because I was like, everybody needs business majors, even though
I'm going to be creative, I need to go get
that business.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
I told my daughter the same thing. That's why she
goes that.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Oh I love that. But then I changed my major nevertheless,
but I changed the journalism. So fast forward to me
sort of realizing in the journalism space how little control
I had. Right, I was absorbing all the things that
were happening around the world at a time that I mean, look,
it's never too pleasant in that when you're ingrained in
(03:29):
the news, but at a time when we were at war.
So what I realized was how trailers, movie trailers and
TV trailers made me feel, and I was like, I
have to tell stories that make people feel good. I
loved watching a movie and getting a becoming a chart
(03:49):
in my mind, right, becoming a character that I didn't
grow up being right, learning from all kinds of different stories,
and I said, I want to do that. I want
to tell stories that make people feel good and give
them a sense of someone else's understanding, someone else's humanity.
So that's really where it started. And I left journalism
after working in it, after working at Fox News for
(04:12):
a few years, and I went to film school, and
I knew that not only how stories impacted me, but
I could see how important it was when I wasn't
seen So I love rom coms, but I didn't see
a lot of black rom coms at that time. It
was Love Jones, it was Love and Basketball, and we
all like love these movies egg because they're wonderful, but
(04:36):
also because there are so few, we're still talking about
them right years later. So that's when I realized how
important creating was for me and how far and wide
it could go. Is that no matter where I am
around the world, we can talk about any of those
touch points in culture, right, movies, fashion, et cetera, and
(04:58):
all beyond the same page. And it was almost always
rooted in US.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
So it sounds like it's a great segue into how
you got to black love, and the reasoning behind it.
Talk about that whole process, because now you have a
piece where you were you were starting that with your
college experience and your desire to see more of us
in rom comms, as you would call it. I'm assuming
(05:26):
that was the segue into all right, here's this concept
of black love and the platform, the amazing platform that
y'all have created that's way beyond just a series that
I definitely want you to go deep in and kind
of share. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
So it's actually a great example of how our cultural
influence around the world shapes the stories that are told,
or at least the ones that need to be told,
and then we fight to get them told. So it
really started, you know, at home, with my parents being
divorced and me trying to like understand what does it
take to make a marriage work when I was twelve.
(05:59):
So fast forward to two thousand and eight, I'm in
my twenties and the Obamas are being elected. I always say,
both of them, you know that into office, right, And
because what we what we were celebrating was not only
this brilliant man who we all felt so passionate about
being president, but we were electing the family. We were
(06:24):
all of it. We were all going black love, black love,
that's black love. I heard it over and over again
and again in my twenties at a time where I'm
looking for my you know, my forever and being told
that there's a black marriage crisis and that you know,
black people aren't getting married or staying married as as
(06:45):
often as other communities, or as long as black women
are the are more likely to be swiped right on
the dating apps. These are the things that were being
told at that time in the early two thousands. Any
black woman remembers this. It was on Oprah, it was
on ABC News, it was everywhere but the Obamas right.
That gave us hope, and so I knew that I
(07:05):
wanted to create a place where black love stories live
because I could immediately see the impact of when we
see it, we believe it. Just like all the children,
all the young black boys now said I can be president.
Looking at that couple and that family made black women
in particular feel like, Okay, it's achievable.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Shoot.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
The other thing we were told is that the more
degrees a black woman has, the less likely she is
to get married. Okay, Michelle Obama said, not me. So
I just that's where it started for me was them,
and I knew that I wanted to start capturing those
stories in whatever way that I could. And even then
(07:47):
that was two thousand and eight. The show didn't come
out till twenty seventeen.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
How much time? Why did it take so long?
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Part of it was insecurity, right, part of it was
what is it exactly? Is it a coffee table book?
Is it a documentary? Nah, it can't be a documentary
because I would have to step outside of my comfort
zone for that. And so, you know, part of it
was definitely me not being ready for that version. And
I did go do interviews for a coffee table book.
(08:15):
I have quite a few that I did long before
I met my husband. And the other part of it,
you know, my dad was sick in the middle there,
and so life life happened. And then when I did
meet Tommy, my husband, who at the time was a cinematographer, producer, director,
scien writer, all the things in a good way. I
(08:36):
met him and I mentioned it to him in twenty
thirteen and he was like, let's do it. And again,
the other thing that became popular by twenty thirteen was
more documentaries and docuseries. That's right, So there was an
evolution of storytelling that.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Was happening, which to do it.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Yeah, so it felt like this thing documentaries aren't cool
by that time.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
It was like everybody was going into documentary. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
So it felt like the right time and the right thing.
And where I challenged myself was that I never set
out to direct. I went to film school to produce,
and I directed the docuseries. We became the docuseries. It
started as a documentary, and so I directed all forty episodes,
and so that's really where it was born.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
I love that. You know, quite often black culture as
we know it is borrowed, appropriated, and it's kind of
used to inspire other cultures and industries. What's your thoughts
on the importance of black ownership within that and the
recognition of what it is that the black community has
brought to the world.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Look, I believe strongly in black ownership. I feel like,
number one, it helps us make sure the right story
is being told in the right ways.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
More often than not, we're selling something, whether it's a script,
an idea, etc. To a studio or producers that will
reshape it. Dilute it is a great word. More often
than not. That's what's happening. And so the more we
can own the better. However, ownership comes with sacrifice and compromise.
In a sense, for ownership, one must be willing to
(10:18):
do a lot of work up front. A lot of
people want to say, I have an idea. Here, studio,
make my idea, but I want to own it. All
you have is a sentence, a log line, maybe a paragraph,
And it's really important for people to recognize that in
order to truly own what you want to create, you
got to kind of create it. You gotta take it
(10:39):
as far as you can so that no one can
can say no, actually that was my ideas, or change
it or shape it. And so with Black Love in particular,
Tommy and I did, I want to say, two years
of interviews. We did almost one hundred interviews before we
edited a sizzle for the first season of the show,
(11:00):
so the first episode of the show, and did like
a written treatment for what the full season would be.
That's when we went out with it.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
And that's two years worth of capturing content. Yeah, absolutely respective,
because you know we're in a microwave era, right, Oh, absolutely,
everybody thinks everything is immediate snap of the finger it happens.
I'm so glad that you're walking through what I call
the oven. No, it's like the oven process of you
(11:27):
put something in, you let that thing marinate. It takes
time and everything comes together in this beautiful way, but
it takes time. I'm sorry I jumped in on that,
but I felt like it was so appropriate because we
are so much in everybody seeing the end, they're not
seeing the journey. So continue to share your journey of
two years, because I didn't even know that that it
took y'all. Not took y'all, It was two years worthy
(11:50):
of capturing what you felt was needed to then create
these assets to now go outside and say we're ready
to go.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
We did our first interview September twenty fourteen, and we
went out with the show in I want to say,
like no summer Summer twenty sixteen, and we immediately knew
that we wanted to own it, and we'd done all
of this work and we knew what we wanted the
show to be, and we knew it couldn't be diluted,
(12:19):
and so we had interest, but not every network wanted
to give us the ownership, and so shout out to
own the Oprah Winfrey Network for you know, that was
that was never something that they balked at and they
were always my first choice also, yeah, for all the
right reason. Yeah, but the fact that that was not
a problem for them, it was a no brainer and
so that it continued that way. But the other thing
(12:40):
about ownership is because we a we did all that work,
so we were able to get you know, further that
conversation about ownership, but we took a license fee that
was much lower than if a network or studio said,
you know, I'm going to own it and I'm going
to just pay you for your work. We took a
license fee and they ultimately were our distribution partner.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Correct, So you own and create what it is. They
do all the things to help amplify, scale it, spread it, yep,
but you are the creative vision behind it that cannot
be interrupted, diluted or because I think that's another thing
that a lot of people overlook, right with certain things
like this, when you can get a licensing deal, and
(13:19):
not to say licensing deals are the end all for everything,
but in a circumstance like this where you want to
maintain the integrity of the content because you know, that
is the goal. You get a licensing deal where now
it's I'm just handing off the baby. You now help
do the work of spreading. Accordingly, yep.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
And it allowed us so again lower license fee than
if someone then if they owned it, and it allowed
us to sort of build up so season after season
of course that increased. But the other thing is we
still owned it, so the show ran on owned for
six years. But it also we were able to then
be paid again to stream on Amazon, primed on lou
(13:58):
I can't even think of all the platforms, so I
don't All Black. We were on All Black, and now
we are on We have our own fast channel on
Amazon where right now you can watch the show twenty
four to seven right now. We can change that at
any time, but it gives us a lot more freedom
and flexibility with what we want to do with the show,
and it becomes a revenue stream forever. In addition to
(14:21):
the fact that we can go do spinoffs, we can
build the Black Love platform, i e. Blacklove dot Com,
the Black Love Summit podcast, et cetera, et cetera, because
we own it. Merch child my favorite.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Yeah, you know what I got, I purchased one of
my favorite crews from y'all at one of your events
in La.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Is it the Black Love is beautiful? I love that's
I for it today.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
White with the black and the red heart. And it's
great quality, by the way. It is, So it's not
the hand on that was amazing.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
We're very serious about it.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
No, very serious, and I remember having to get that.
I think you did a black one as well. So
and that's when I started with your whole. When I
talk about the holistic platform that you've now created based
off of, I'll say the docuseries, it's a beautiful thing
to see the different extensions of how this can come
to life, and it sounds like you all are open
(15:17):
and venturing out to explore all these different things. Is
what's the next chapter? Is there something on the horizon?
And you're like, this is a place where we see
us having a potential influence presence. Yeah, well, the space, you.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Know, the space that I'm very excited that we're we've
been in the whole time, right, So let's be very clear.
We launched a Blacklove docuseries in twenty seventeen. In twenty eighteen,
we launched a Blacklove Summit and blacklove dot Com Yes,
and so on blacklove dot Com we have editorial content,
video content celebrating what we call three hundred and sixty
degrees of Black love, So parenthood, sisterhood, brotherhoods self love
(15:55):
is extremely important, so important, and entrepreneurship. Community. Underneath all
of that is health and wellness, financial health as well.
So these are all very important pillars to our platform.
And so that was twenty eighteen, and we've continued with
a women's wellness retreat called the You Retreat. We've launched
(16:16):
several podcasts and right now our tent our tent pole
podcast is The Mama's Den where we celebrate motherhood nice
and it's exciting to me because motherhood is so important
to me. It's the space where I am most comfortable
talking and learning. Like I mean, I'm always down to
talk and learn, but it's a place where this is
(16:37):
a lifelong journey that I'm on with these three babies,
that's right, and.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
It's gonna have different phases one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
And it's a place where we can very easily, like marriage,
become isolated. We think we can't talk about our problems
or how or our challenges and we need to we
need to have safe spaces to feel normal. Yeah. Absolutely,
transparency andnerability. And so The Mama's Den is a podcast
(17:04):
that we started in twenty twenty two. We launched in
twenty two. We've been recording since twenty one, and I'm
one of the four hosts. Nice and it just brings
me so much joy to see how many people appreciate it.
Mostly women, but we get a lot of men. We
get grandmamas and granddaddies and even people who haven't had
(17:24):
kids yet.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Yeah, it sounds like it's also a good tutorial.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Absolutely, And I think my favorite compliment that I hear
about The Mama's Den is thank you for making me
feel sane.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Correct, because we all are in our respective bubbles thinking
we're the only ones. And when you are transparent and
you're creating a safe space, You're now showing people, Oh
wait a minute, so I'm not the only ones. So
I'm not crazy, I'm not you know, I'm not the
only one that the devil's on Like, no, Yeah, there's
a number of us going through these same things. And
(17:57):
that's why trans go back to that word, transparency and
safe spaces are so critical and it's unfortunate that we
don't create enough.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Yeah, I agree, And certainly the root of our platform
is rawness, transparency, vulnerability from the show. You know that
that Tommy and I shot every single interview with just
the two of us. There's no crew in the room,
it's just the two of us. And we try to
extend that same vulnerability and safe space to every single
(18:29):
thing that we do. And in times it can be
challenging because people, you know, what we under, what we
hear is that people want the salacious, you know, click
bait and I'm not going to do it. No, I'm
not going to do it.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Just because you want something doesn't mean it's a thing
that you really need. And I think, you know, we've
got to get to places where we're providing what's needed
and not what's moment.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
And you know what, there's also nothing wrong with obviously,
you know, entertainment as commerce right there, there's nothing wrong
with that. It's just not what we're standing on with
Black Love there you go there too. For me, it's
too critical a space, yeah, for us to compromise it
by becoming clickbait. And it's and it's been a conversation.
(19:21):
I mean you know our team. Have you ever seen
the show No Shade. It's very entertaining where they pop
the balloon on the so they're they're looking to date
and there's like a group of men or a group
of women, and the single person in the room is
like deciding who they like or don't like, and if
they don't like the person off looks, they pop the
balloon in the face.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Oh wow, I'm like, that's aggressive.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
I'm like, that's so hurtful.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
I mean, that's different from a good swipe.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
A swipe is in silence, you know what? On YouTube
now it's entertaining and and and interesting things are revealed.
Why do you pop the balloon because it's person da
da dada da. But that's not what we're doing.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
I'm sorry, is the balloon in front of the now,
I'm very balloon in their face? Not like okay, okay,
so that you could see their face, but they.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Literally like, oh, I don't like his shirt, but I
don't like you know, the way he's standing. Bo. He's
too short.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Bo.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
I'm like, that's so hurtful. But it's it's entertaining. Yeah,
it's just not black love. It's not what we're doing.
I want to be a tool and a resource for
our community to see what healthy relationships look like, to
talk through how to get there, because sometimes I think
a lot of us, and this is parenthood, sisterhood, you know, marriage,
(20:40):
a lot of us are looking at where we want
to be and not all it takes.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
To get there, to get there, the steps.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
We're very much about the journey, and that part is
just really important.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
You know. Given the state of things, I think we're
in very interesting times. So as I hear you share
your vision and your goals and how necessary this is
in our community, it's refreshing, but again, very interesting times.
What are you doing specifically to ensure that the cultures
and spaces you frequent are being nurtured properly? And what
(21:15):
are you recommending for other creators and consumers to also
do so?
Speaker 2 (21:22):
I would say, first and foremost is like trying to
maintain some sort of positive state of mental health for
myself is first and foremost.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Right, I can take care of you before you can
pour anybody exactly. And that's not selfish, no, sorry.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
It's selfish, okay, and so and if somebody says it's selfish,
that's all right too. Just let it be because it's
you have to take care of yourself, and so doesn't
mean I get it right all the time, but it
means that I know that my effort has to be
to maintain some sense of sanity for me, and then honestly,
(21:58):
you know, I show up. Our team kind of jokes
that like the Black Love Platform is me, like is
an extension of me. I show up as I just
described the brand, right, I try to I am pretty
transparent and vulnerable in every space that I'm in. I
try to listen and understand where other people are coming
from before reacting, before passing judgment, which is again what
(22:23):
I want our platform to represent as well, and so
for the spaces that I enter, I also try to
hold space for the fact that this is a hard time.
And you know, when people say how you doing, and
everyone says fine, I.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Stop saying that, thank you, What do you say?
Speaker 2 (22:42):
I say a couple of things. I'll say as as
good as I can be doing in twenty twenty five,
knowing that most of the people I encounter understand what
that means or relate. You know, it was harder in
January as a person living in Los Angeles when we
were going through the awful fires and the inauguration. So
(23:06):
I try to just be as honest as I can
with folks about where I am in that moment. My
family is my priority, and juggling the juggling politics and
the impact on our community and marginalized communities, it impacts
(23:28):
me deeply as an impath, like it's I feel like
I'm carrying it at times, and so I honestly and
I honestly just try to hold space for people's emotional
state because I can't solve all the political problems and
I'm trying to learn what I can do to be
(23:48):
a part of the process. I'm probably more political than
I've ever been in my life because it feels very
much like life or death at times. And that doesn't
mean it hasn't been the whole time. It just is
it's in our face right now.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
And I think it's more than political humanity.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Yes, which has been the priority, right that has that
has always been important to me, and now it's so
threatened that it's scary and overwhelming.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
So yeah, with that is a WUSA moment, you know,
and and within that, you know, D and I has
obviously been a buzz conversation and the elimination of in
some places. But when you even look at what it
when it was in play, it really ended up helping
(24:40):
white women more than anyone else or any other group.
What are the things we need to do now to
ensure that diversity is reflected, especially in the spaces where
we've made so much impact culturally over the last couple
of decades.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
You know, I'm kind of in a privileged place, kind
of there'suppos cons here because for the last what is
this twenty twenty five, for the last ten years, I
have been an entrepreneur with a company for and by
black people, and so I am not in necessarily those
(25:18):
corporate spaces where part Yeah, well, I mean it impacts
me because we partner with brands and studios, so it
impacts me greatly. But my response to what can we
be doing may be privileged, right, because I'm speaking from
my friends and from the things that I see my
loved ones going through. You know, I feel like the
(25:40):
best thing that we can do is stand up for
each other. We can't necessarily change these huge like crackdowns
for lack of better description, that these companies are doing.
To say, all right, we're getting rid of d DEI,
and that means that this department is going you know,
we can't necessarily change those big, high level things. But
what we can do, like when Joy and Reid's show
(26:03):
was canceled on MSNBC, we can stand up for one
another and use our voice on social media, use our
voice within organizations. You know, obviously Rachel Madda was not
a black woman, but she's she stood up on TV
and said, I don't agree with this, and and so
that's a that's an example that everyone could bear witness too.
(26:24):
But we've got to stand up for each other. We've
got to fight as much as we can, because my
understanding is if we just roll over and be sad
about it, that's that's what they want. And I was
going to add, it's similar to how we're using our
voices and our and our money when it comes to Target. Yep,
(26:44):
And I call them out specifically because I've had this
conversation a lot with folks that, with Target being so
bold about supporting entrepreneurs of color, taking away their DEI
initiatives felt like a specific betrayal to our community. I've
(27:07):
had this conversation a lot because It's like, why them.
There's so many other companies that are doing the same thing.
Why are we all mad at them? We're mad at
all of them, but that one, that one was so
loud and celebratory of us. So to take that away,
you know, felt different.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Right, Like it wasn't authentic from the beginning.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Yeah, I mean not my business.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
The feeling you get, yes, and that hurt because we all,
truly we were like ride or die for Target because
they stood up so boldly in celebrating and elevating our
black business owners.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
But then so quickly ran from it.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Yeah. Yeah, and so I use them as an example,
but that doesn't change that We've got to take the
same approach across so many other ways we spend our money.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
And yeah, yeah, I think another thing I heard you
saying there is the notion of allyship is important. Is
that a big component?
Speaker 2 (28:08):
Absolutely? And I say that, you know, allyship is huge.
We are all in this together, you know, I was,
you know, we were talking earlier. And you know, I
am a proud ninety two percent Okay, I voted for
Kamala with all the ninety two percent of black women.
And when we lost and the sentiment was you know,
(28:31):
this is their problem now, like I'm gonna drink my
tea for the next four years. I got it, But
I also like had a hard time with it because
I'm like, but we're all going to suffer. And I
have three children, and so I don't know that that's
the answer for me. And and so I bring that
up to say that sadly, I don't feel like I
(28:51):
have a choice but to continue to fight and fight
for specifically black women, black families. But I recognize that
this political climate that we're in attacks humanity. To use
your word, which I love, and that means the LGBTQ community,
(29:17):
that means people of color who are not black, that
means so like so much. And I think it's really
important to recognize that when marginalized communities are being attacked,
it's all of them, even if it even if there's
louder ones at times, even if it's we're talking about
(29:37):
trans people over here, we meaning, you know, I don't
even like talking about the politics, but you know, if
if a certain community is being attacked, we're next, you
know what I mean, Like black women, black people, We're
they're coming for all of us.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
Yep, yep.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
And we can't us decide to only stand up for Yeah,
and I realize that's hard for some people, but this
is where we are.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
You know, and and with these worldly what I call
worldly circumstances, I mean, for me, my faith and my
relationship with God helps to provide some sort of platform insanity.
Is it safe to say that there's an element of
faith that you hold on to during this time?
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Absolutely? I mean absolutely, it's necessary. It is, you know,
my source of comfort and my reminder that that God
is love and that that's the best thing that I
(30:46):
can do is show up as love, and that means
for more than just me. And again going back to it,
it's overwhelming because there's so much coming at us right now.
But if we don't frankly show up as love and
fight for humanity and what that means, then we can't win.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
Right right. You know? I love how you brought everything
back to love and just based off everything that you've
done and you're doing. You know, we always end these
with talking about what are the three seeds you'd want
to leave with the stewarts of culture moving forward. I'd
love to hear what your three seeds are. And I
(31:32):
feel like love is going to probably be for sure
one of them.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
I'll let it be the last one.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Yeah, there, you know.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
The first thing that I would say is be unapologetically you,
which can be hard at times. But to spend time
like really understanding yourself and and just show up fully
take up space and remind yourself to it. Doesn't mean
it's easy every day, that's right, So I would say
(31:59):
that would be the The very first thing is that
we have to take up space. We have to remember
who we are, who our ancestors are. We created, we
defined define culture around the world, and that doesn't mean
we are a monolith. So that is why it is
important for us to take up space exactly as who
(32:21):
we are. The second thing I would say is mentorship,
meaning we have a responsibility to bring others along. We
can't just fight for us, and we have to we
(32:42):
have to shepherd those you know, coming after us. I
think that's critical. Otherwise what are we doing? And then.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
Lead with love, Lead with.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Love true, understand that everybody is going through something, everybody
is a work in progress, and we have to give
them patience and understanding and love, and sometimes that is hard.
I have I actually have love tattooed on the back
(33:18):
of my neck and I have since. I want to say,
O eight now that I think about it. Unrelated to
the Obamas. So in eight my first nephew was born,
and there were things happening in my family that well,
I always wanted a tattoo, but I wanted it to meet.
(33:38):
I knew I wanted to mean something when I was
eighty and so yes, and so I thought long and
like years about what it would be. And I just
remember at that time there was a lot going on
in my family, and I knew that I wanted to
be love. I knew that I wanted to show up
even when I wasn't happy with other people's choice, especially
(34:04):
when I had this nephew coming into the world, our
first it was our first, you know, in the family,
so my parents' first grandchild. And so I decided on
love as the as what I wanted to have on me.
But I knew I could only have it if I
could be it, which was still a work in progress, right,
But I didn't want it. It wasn't a vanity thing like, oh,
(34:24):
it's a pretty weird, let's put it on, you know.
And so I chose love and still waited several months,
and on my birthday in two thousand and eight, October
thirty first, I had love tattooed on the back of
my neck as my reminder, even though I can't see it,
as my reminder that it's there. If it's going to
be there, I have to show up as love in
(34:45):
every space that I can.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
You know, I God is the amazing architect of things.
And it's no coincidence. I mean, nothing is coinciense. It
says God's way of remaining anonymous. It's no coincidence that
you know. The first time I met you was at Lovelane,
Yes and Anguilla, and you have been consistently a reflection
of great energy and love. And I love what you
(35:07):
and Tommy and your team are doing in this space,
and we'll continue to celebrate you. But just want to
thank you for being a reflection of love as you've
set out to do, and you're doing the great work.
So thank you. We truly appreciate your support because it
helps us fulfill our mission of promoting cultural awareness and
personal development. Please click the subscribe button below to help
(35:30):
ensure and solidify our mission
To who much is given, much is required. Part of
that requirement is sharing. Culture is the heartbeat within our lives,
and it's at the core of so many things. While
we live in a time when we are starving for wisdom,
I welcome you to your wisdom retreat. That culture raises us.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Black people aren't getting married or staying married as often
as other communities. These are the things that we're being told.
I knew that I wanted to create a place where
black love stories live.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Cody Elaine Oliver is an accomplished film and TV producer
who co created a series called Black Love with her
husband Tommy. This series features couples opening up about the joys, challenges,
and realities of love within the Black community. Has evolved
into a holistic platform centered around basically celebrating the Black community.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Ownership comes with sacrifice. One must be willing to do
a lot of work up frunt in order to truly
own what you want to create. You got to create it.
You got to take it as far as you can
so that no one can say no. Actually, that was
my We have a responsibility to bring others along. We
can't just fight for us, have to shepherd those coming
(01:07):
after us. If we don't show up as love and
fight for humanity and what that means, then we can't win.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Signature question. When you hear culture, what does that mean
to you?
Speaker 2 (01:26):
You know, I thought about this question, and I realize
that when I say culture, it's often interchangeable with community
for me, because I look at our community, the Black
community specifically, and I see culture. And so often when
I'm talking about one, I'm talking about the other. How
we define so much around us, right, we do it
(01:47):
for ourselves, you know. We create music and art and fashion,
and we create all of this to grow closer to
each other and to engage with each other, and we
have for centuries, but it has defined the greater culture.
So I'm always talking about us when I'm talking about
(02:08):
culture and community.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Talk about you know, giving your experience within the content
creation space over the years, what was that particular moment
when you realize just how big and instrumental content was,
And even if you want to go through it through
the lens of Black culture, which is probably going to
be your sweet spot, that you remember that moment where
(02:31):
you saw the impact of how it impacts all of
our global ecosystem.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Yeah, I mean I would say first, it was probably
much smaller than that. I recognize how content made me
feel and the gifts learnings and education that it gave me.
So I say that to say I always knew I
wanted to be in a creative space, even though I
went to Howard University and I had studied marketing at first,
(02:57):
because I was like, everybody needs business majors, even though
I'm going to be creative, I need to go get
that business.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
I told my daughter the same thing. That's why she
goes that.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Oh I love that. But then I changed my major nevertheless,
but I changed the journalism. So fast forward to me
sort of realizing in the journalism space how little control
I had. Right, I was absorbing all the things that
were happening around the world at a time that I mean, look,
it's never too pleasant in that when you're ingrained in
(03:29):
the news, but at a time when we were at war.
So what I realized was how trailers, movie trailers and
TV trailers made me feel, and I was like, I
have to tell stories that make people feel good. I
loved watching a movie and getting a becoming a chart
(03:49):
in my mind, right, becoming a character that I didn't
grow up being right, learning from all kinds of different stories,
and I said, I want to do that. I want
to tell stories that make people feel good and give
them a sense of someone else's understanding, someone else's humanity.
So that's really where it started. And I left journalism
after working in it, after working at Fox News for
(04:12):
a few years, and I went to film school, and
I knew that not only how stories impacted me, but
I could see how important it was when I wasn't
seen So I love rom coms, but I didn't see
a lot of black rom coms at that time. It
was Love Jones, it was Love and Basketball, and we
all like love these movies egg because they're wonderful, but
(04:36):
also because there are so few, we're still talking about
them right years later. So that's when I realized how
important creating was for me and how far and wide
it could go. Is that no matter where I am
around the world, we can talk about any of those
touch points in culture, right, movies, fashion, et cetera, and
(04:58):
all beyond the same page. And it was almost always
rooted in US.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
So it sounds like it's a great segue into how
you got to black love, and the reasoning behind it.
Talk about that whole process, because now you have a
piece where you were you were starting that with your
college experience and your desire to see more of us
in rom comms, as you would call it. I'm assuming
(05:26):
that was the segue into all right, here's this concept
of black love and the platform, the amazing platform that
y'all have created that's way beyond just a series that
I definitely want you to go deep in and kind
of share. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
So it's actually a great example of how our cultural
influence around the world shapes the stories that are told,
or at least the ones that need to be told,
and then we fight to get them told. So it
really started, you know, at home, with my parents being
divorced and me trying to like understand what does it
take to make a marriage work when I was twelve.
(05:59):
So fast forward to two thousand and eight, I'm in
my twenties and the Obamas are being elected. I always say,
both of them, you know that into office, right, And
because what we what we were celebrating was not only
this brilliant man who we all felt so passionate about
being president, but we were electing the family. We were
(06:24):
all of it. We were all going black love, black love,
that's black love. I heard it over and over again
and again in my twenties at a time where I'm
looking for my you know, my forever and being told
that there's a black marriage crisis and that you know,
black people aren't getting married or staying married as as
(06:45):
often as other communities, or as long as black women
are the are more likely to be swiped right on
the dating apps. These are the things that were being
told at that time in the early two thousands. Any
black woman remembers this. It was on Oprah, it was
on ABC News, it was everywhere but the Obamas right.
That gave us hope, and so I knew that I
(07:05):
wanted to create a place where black love stories live
because I could immediately see the impact of when we
see it, we believe it. Just like all the children,
all the young black boys now said I can be president.
Looking at that couple and that family made black women
in particular feel like, Okay, it's achievable.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Shoot.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
The other thing we were told is that the more
degrees a black woman has, the less likely she is
to get married. Okay, Michelle Obama said, not me. So
I just that's where it started for me was them,
and I knew that I wanted to start capturing those
stories in whatever way that I could. And even then
(07:47):
that was two thousand and eight. The show didn't come
out till twenty seventeen.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
How much time? Why did it take so long?
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Part of it was insecurity, right, part of it was
what is it exactly? Is it a coffee table book?
Is it a documentary? Nah, it can't be a documentary
because I would have to step outside of my comfort
zone for that. And so, you know, part of it
was definitely me not being ready for that version. And
I did go do interviews for a coffee table book.
(08:15):
I have quite a few that I did long before
I met my husband. And the other part of it,
you know, my dad was sick in the middle there,
and so life life happened. And then when I did
meet Tommy, my husband, who at the time was a cinematographer, producer, director,
scien writer, all the things in a good way. I
(08:36):
met him and I mentioned it to him in twenty
thirteen and he was like, let's do it. And again,
the other thing that became popular by twenty thirteen was
more documentaries and docuseries. That's right, So there was an
evolution of storytelling that.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Was happening, which to do it.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Yeah, so it felt like this thing documentaries aren't cool
by that time.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
It was like everybody was going into documentary. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
So it felt like the right time and the right thing.
And where I challenged myself was that I never set
out to direct. I went to film school to produce,
and I directed the docuseries. We became the docuseries. It
started as a documentary, and so I directed all forty episodes,
and so that's really where it was born.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
I love that. You know, quite often black culture as
we know it is borrowed, appropriated, and it's kind of
used to inspire other cultures and industries. What's your thoughts
on the importance of black ownership within that and the
recognition of what it is that the black community has
brought to the world.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Look, I believe strongly in black ownership. I feel like,
number one, it helps us make sure the right story
is being told in the right ways.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
More often than not, we're selling something, whether it's a script,
an idea, etc. To a studio or producers that will
reshape it. Dilute it is a great word. More often
than not. That's what's happening. And so the more we
can own the better. However, ownership comes with sacrifice and compromise.
In a sense, for ownership, one must be willing to
(10:18):
do a lot of work up front. A lot of
people want to say, I have an idea. Here, studio,
make my idea, but I want to own it. All
you have is a sentence, a log line, maybe a paragraph,
And it's really important for people to recognize that in
order to truly own what you want to create, you
got to kind of create it. You gotta take it
(10:39):
as far as you can so that no one can
can say no, actually that was my ideas, or change
it or shape it. And so with Black Love in particular,
Tommy and I did, I want to say, two years
of interviews. We did almost one hundred interviews before we
edited a sizzle for the first season of the show,
(11:00):
so the first episode of the show, and did like
a written treatment for what the full season would be.
That's when we went out with it.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
And that's two years worth of capturing content. Yeah, absolutely respective,
because you know we're in a microwave era, right, Oh, absolutely,
everybody thinks everything is immediate snap of the finger it happens.
I'm so glad that you're walking through what I call
the oven. No, it's like the oven process of you
(11:27):
put something in, you let that thing marinate. It takes
time and everything comes together in this beautiful way, but
it takes time. I'm sorry I jumped in on that,
but I felt like it was so appropriate because we
are so much in everybody seeing the end, they're not
seeing the journey. So continue to share your journey of
two years, because I didn't even know that that it
took y'all. Not took y'all, It was two years worthy
(11:50):
of capturing what you felt was needed to then create
these assets to now go outside and say we're ready
to go.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
We did our first interview September twenty fourteen, and we
went out with the show in I want to say,
like no summer Summer twenty sixteen, and we immediately knew
that we wanted to own it, and we'd done all
of this work and we knew what we wanted the
show to be, and we knew it couldn't be diluted,
(12:19):
and so we had interest, but not every network wanted
to give us the ownership, and so shout out to
own the Oprah Winfrey Network for you know, that was
that was never something that they balked at and they
were always my first choice also, yeah, for all the
right reason. Yeah, but the fact that that was not
a problem for them, it was a no brainer and
so that it continued that way. But the other thing
(12:40):
about ownership is because we a we did all that work,
so we were able to get you know, further that
conversation about ownership, but we took a license fee that
was much lower than if a network or studio said,
you know, I'm going to own it and I'm going
to just pay you for your work. We took a
license fee and they ultimately were our distribution partner.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Correct, So you own and create what it is. They
do all the things to help amplify, scale it, spread it, yep,
but you are the creative vision behind it that cannot
be interrupted, diluted or because I think that's another thing
that a lot of people overlook, right with certain things
like this, when you can get a licensing deal, and
(13:19):
not to say licensing deals are the end all for everything,
but in a circumstance like this where you want to
maintain the integrity of the content because you know, that
is the goal. You get a licensing deal where now
it's I'm just handing off the baby. You now help
do the work of spreading. Accordingly, yep.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
And it allowed us so again lower license fee than
if someone then if they owned it, and it allowed
us to sort of build up so season after season
of course that increased. But the other thing is we
still owned it, so the show ran on owned for
six years. But it also we were able to then
be paid again to stream on Amazon, primed on lou
(13:58):
I can't even think of all the platforms, so I
don't All Black. We were on All Black, and now
we are on We have our own fast channel on
Amazon where right now you can watch the show twenty
four to seven right now. We can change that at
any time, but it gives us a lot more freedom
and flexibility with what we want to do with the show,
and it becomes a revenue stream forever. In addition to
(14:21):
the fact that we can go do spinoffs, we can
build the Black Love platform, i e. Blacklove dot Com,
the Black Love Summit podcast, et cetera, et cetera, because
we own it. Merch child my favorite.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Yeah, you know what I got, I purchased one of
my favorite crews from y'all at one of your events
in La.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Is it the Black Love is beautiful? I love that's
I for it today.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
White with the black and the red heart. And it's
great quality, by the way. It is, So it's not
the hand on that was amazing.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
We're very serious about it.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
No, very serious, and I remember having to get that.
I think you did a black one as well. So
and that's when I started with your whole. When I
talk about the holistic platform that you've now created based
off of, I'll say the docuseries, it's a beautiful thing
to see the different extensions of how this can come
to life, and it sounds like you all are open
(15:17):
and venturing out to explore all these different things. Is
what's the next chapter? Is there something on the horizon?
And you're like, this is a place where we see
us having a potential influence presence. Yeah, well, the space, you.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Know, the space that I'm very excited that we're we've
been in the whole time, right, So let's be very clear.
We launched a Blacklove docuseries in twenty seventeen. In twenty eighteen,
we launched a Blacklove Summit and blacklove dot Com Yes,
and so on blacklove dot Com we have editorial content,
video content celebrating what we call three hundred and sixty
degrees of Black love, So parenthood, sisterhood, brotherhoods self love
(15:55):
is extremely important, so important, and entrepreneurship. Community. Underneath all
of that is health and wellness, financial health as well.
So these are all very important pillars to our platform.
And so that was twenty eighteen, and we've continued with
a women's wellness retreat called the You Retreat. We've launched
(16:16):
several podcasts and right now our tent our tent pole
podcast is The Mama's Den where we celebrate motherhood nice
and it's exciting to me because motherhood is so important
to me. It's the space where I am most comfortable
talking and learning. Like I mean, I'm always down to
talk and learn, but it's a place where this is
(16:37):
a lifelong journey that I'm on with these three babies,
that's right, and.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
It's gonna have different phases one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
And it's a place where we can very easily, like marriage,
become isolated. We think we can't talk about our problems
or how or our challenges and we need to we
need to have safe spaces to feel normal. Yeah. Absolutely,
transparency andnerability. And so The Mama's Den is a podcast
(17:04):
that we started in twenty twenty two. We launched in
twenty two. We've been recording since twenty one, and I'm
one of the four hosts. Nice and it just brings
me so much joy to see how many people appreciate it.
Mostly women, but we get a lot of men. We
get grandmamas and granddaddies and even people who haven't had
(17:24):
kids yet.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Yeah, it sounds like it's also a good tutorial.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Absolutely, And I think my favorite compliment that I hear
about The Mama's Den is thank you for making me
feel sane.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Correct, because we all are in our respective bubbles thinking
we're the only ones. And when you are transparent and
you're creating a safe space, You're now showing people, Oh
wait a minute, so I'm not the only ones. So
I'm not crazy, I'm not you know, I'm not the
only one that the devil's on Like, no, Yeah, there's
a number of us going through these same things. And
(17:57):
that's why trans go back to that word, transparency and
safe spaces are so critical and it's unfortunate that we
don't create enough.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Yeah, I agree, And certainly the root of our platform
is rawness, transparency, vulnerability from the show. You know that
that Tommy and I shot every single interview with just
the two of us. There's no crew in the room,
it's just the two of us. And we try to
extend that same vulnerability and safe space to every single
(18:29):
thing that we do. And in times it can be
challenging because people, you know, what we under, what we
hear is that people want the salacious, you know, click
bait and I'm not going to do it. No, I'm
not going to do it.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Just because you want something doesn't mean it's a thing
that you really need. And I think, you know, we've
got to get to places where we're providing what's needed
and not what's moment.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
And you know what, there's also nothing wrong with obviously,
you know, entertainment as commerce right there, there's nothing wrong
with that. It's just not what we're standing on with
Black Love there you go there too. For me, it's
too critical a space, yeah, for us to compromise it
by becoming clickbait. And it's and it's been a conversation.
(19:21):
I mean you know our team. Have you ever seen
the show No Shade. It's very entertaining where they pop
the balloon on the so they're they're looking to date
and there's like a group of men or a group
of women, and the single person in the room is
like deciding who they like or don't like, and if
they don't like the person off looks, they pop the
balloon in the face.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Oh wow, I'm like, that's aggressive.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
I'm like, that's so hurtful.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
I mean, that's different from a good swipe.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
A swipe is in silence, you know what? On YouTube
now it's entertaining and and and interesting things are revealed.
Why do you pop the balloon because it's person da
da dada da. But that's not what we're doing.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
I'm sorry, is the balloon in front of the now,
I'm very balloon in their face? Not like okay, okay,
so that you could see their face, but they.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Literally like, oh, I don't like his shirt, but I
don't like you know, the way he's standing. Bo. He's
too short.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Bo.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
I'm like, that's so hurtful. But it's it's entertaining. Yeah,
it's just not black love. It's not what we're doing.
I want to be a tool and a resource for
our community to see what healthy relationships look like, to
talk through how to get there, because sometimes I think
a lot of us, and this is parenthood, sisterhood, you know, marriage,
(20:40):
a lot of us are looking at where we want
to be and not all it takes.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
To get there, to get there, the steps.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
We're very much about the journey, and that part is
just really important.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
You know. Given the state of things, I think we're
in very interesting times. So as I hear you share
your vision and your goals and how necessary this is
in our community, it's refreshing, but again, very interesting times.
What are you doing specifically to ensure that the cultures
and spaces you frequent are being nurtured properly? And what
(21:15):
are you recommending for other creators and consumers to also
do so?
Speaker 2 (21:22):
I would say, first and foremost is like trying to
maintain some sort of positive state of mental health for
myself is first and foremost.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Right, I can take care of you before you can
pour anybody exactly. And that's not selfish, no, sorry.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
It's selfish, okay, and so and if somebody says it's selfish,
that's all right too. Just let it be because it's
you have to take care of yourself, and so doesn't
mean I get it right all the time, but it
means that I know that my effort has to be
to maintain some sense of sanity for me, and then honestly,
(21:58):
you know, I show up. Our team kind of jokes
that like the Black Love Platform is me, like is
an extension of me. I show up as I just
described the brand, right, I try to I am pretty
transparent and vulnerable in every space that I'm in. I
try to listen and understand where other people are coming
from before reacting, before passing judgment, which is again what
(22:23):
I want our platform to represent as well, and so
for the spaces that I enter, I also try to
hold space for the fact that this is a hard time.
And you know, when people say how you doing, and
everyone says fine, I.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Stop saying that, thank you, What do you say?
Speaker 2 (22:42):
I say a couple of things. I'll say as as
good as I can be doing in twenty twenty five,
knowing that most of the people I encounter understand what
that means or relate. You know, it was harder in
January as a person living in Los Angeles when we
were going through the awful fires and the inauguration. So
(23:06):
I try to just be as honest as I can
with folks about where I am in that moment. My
family is my priority, and juggling the juggling politics and
the impact on our community and marginalized communities, it impacts
(23:28):
me deeply as an impath, like it's I feel like
I'm carrying it at times, and so I honestly and
I honestly just try to hold space for people's emotional
state because I can't solve all the political problems and
I'm trying to learn what I can do to be
(23:48):
a part of the process. I'm probably more political than
I've ever been in my life because it feels very
much like life or death at times. And that doesn't
mean it hasn't been the whole time. It just is
it's in our face right now.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
And I think it's more than political humanity.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Yes, which has been the priority, right that has that
has always been important to me, and now it's so
threatened that it's scary and overwhelming.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
So yeah, with that is a WUSA moment, you know,
and and within that, you know, D and I has
obviously been a buzz conversation and the elimination of in
some places. But when you even look at what it
when it was in play, it really ended up helping
(24:40):
white women more than anyone else or any other group.
What are the things we need to do now to
ensure that diversity is reflected, especially in the spaces where
we've made so much impact culturally over the last couple
of decades.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
You know, I'm kind of in a privileged place, kind
of there'suppos cons here because for the last what is
this twenty twenty five, for the last ten years, I
have been an entrepreneur with a company for and by
black people, and so I am not in necessarily those
(25:18):
corporate spaces where part Yeah, well, I mean it impacts
me because we partner with brands and studios, so it
impacts me greatly. But my response to what can we
be doing may be privileged, right, because I'm speaking from
my friends and from the things that I see my
loved ones going through. You know, I feel like the
(25:40):
best thing that we can do is stand up for
each other. We can't necessarily change these huge like crackdowns
for lack of better description, that these companies are doing.
To say, all right, we're getting rid of d DEI,
and that means that this department is going you know,
we can't necessarily change those big, high level things. But
what we can do, like when Joy and Reid's show
(26:03):
was canceled on MSNBC, we can stand up for one
another and use our voice on social media, use our
voice within organizations. You know, obviously Rachel Madda was not
a black woman, but she's she stood up on TV
and said, I don't agree with this, and and so
that's a that's an example that everyone could bear witness too.
(26:24):
But we've got to stand up for each other. We've
got to fight as much as we can, because my
understanding is if we just roll over and be sad
about it, that's that's what they want. And I was
going to add, it's similar to how we're using our
voices and our and our money when it comes to Target. Yep,
(26:44):
And I call them out specifically because I've had this
conversation a lot with folks that, with Target being so
bold about supporting entrepreneurs of color, taking away their DEI
initiatives felt like a specific betrayal to our community. I've
(27:07):
had this conversation a lot because It's like, why them.
There's so many other companies that are doing the same thing.
Why are we all mad at them? We're mad at
all of them, but that one, that one was so
loud and celebratory of us. So to take that away,
you know, felt different.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Right, Like it wasn't authentic from the beginning.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Yeah, I mean not my business.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
The feeling you get, yes, and that hurt because we all,
truly we were like ride or die for Target because
they stood up so boldly in celebrating and elevating our
black business owners.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
But then so quickly ran from it.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Yeah. Yeah, and so I use them as an example,
but that doesn't change that We've got to take the
same approach across so many other ways we spend our money.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
And yeah, yeah, I think another thing I heard you
saying there is the notion of allyship is important. Is
that a big component?
Speaker 2 (28:08):
Absolutely? And I say that, you know, allyship is huge.
We are all in this together, you know, I was,
you know, we were talking earlier. And you know, I
am a proud ninety two percent Okay, I voted for
Kamala with all the ninety two percent of black women.
And when we lost and the sentiment was you know,
(28:31):
this is their problem now, like I'm gonna drink my
tea for the next four years. I got it, But
I also like had a hard time with it because
I'm like, but we're all going to suffer. And I
have three children, and so I don't know that that's
the answer for me. And and so I bring that
up to say that sadly, I don't feel like I
(28:51):
have a choice but to continue to fight and fight
for specifically black women, black families. But I recognize that
this political climate that we're in attacks humanity. To use
your word, which I love, and that means the LGBTQ community,
(29:17):
that means people of color who are not black, that
means so like so much. And I think it's really
important to recognize that when marginalized communities are being attacked,
it's all of them, even if it even if there's
louder ones at times, even if it's we're talking about
(29:37):
trans people over here, we meaning, you know, I don't
even like talking about the politics, but you know, if
if a certain community is being attacked, we're next, you
know what I mean, Like black women, black people, We're
they're coming for all of us.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
Yep, yep.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
And we can't us decide to only stand up for Yeah,
and I realize that's hard for some people, but this
is where we are.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
You know, and and with these worldly what I call
worldly circumstances, I mean, for me, my faith and my
relationship with God helps to provide some sort of platform insanity.
Is it safe to say that there's an element of
faith that you hold on to during this time?
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Absolutely? I mean absolutely, it's necessary. It is, you know,
my source of comfort and my reminder that that God
is love and that that's the best thing that I
(30:46):
can do is show up as love, and that means
for more than just me. And again going back to it,
it's overwhelming because there's so much coming at us right now.
But if we don't frankly show up as love and
fight for humanity and what that means, then we can't win.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
Right right. You know? I love how you brought everything
back to love and just based off everything that you've
done and you're doing. You know, we always end these
with talking about what are the three seeds you'd want
to leave with the stewarts of culture moving forward. I'd
love to hear what your three seeds are. And I
(31:32):
feel like love is going to probably be for sure
one of them.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
I'll let it be the last one.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Yeah, there, you know.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
The first thing that I would say is be unapologetically you,
which can be hard at times. But to spend time
like really understanding yourself and and just show up fully
take up space and remind yourself to it. Doesn't mean
it's easy every day, that's right, So I would say
(31:59):
that would be the The very first thing is that
we have to take up space. We have to remember
who we are, who our ancestors are. We created, we
defined define culture around the world, and that doesn't mean
we are a monolith. So that is why it is
important for us to take up space exactly as who
(32:21):
we are. The second thing I would say is mentorship,
meaning we have a responsibility to bring others along. We
can't just fight for us, and we have to we
(32:42):
have to shepherd those you know, coming after us. I
think that's critical. Otherwise what are we doing? And then.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
Lead with love, Lead with.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Love true, understand that everybody is going through something, everybody
is a work in progress, and we have to give
them patience and understanding and love, and sometimes that is hard.
I have I actually have love tattooed on the back
(33:18):
of my neck and I have since. I want to say,
O eight now that I think about it. Unrelated to
the Obamas. So in eight my first nephew was born,
and there were things happening in my family that well,
I always wanted a tattoo, but I wanted it to meet.
(33:38):
I knew I wanted to mean something when I was
eighty and so yes, and so I thought long and
like years about what it would be. And I just
remember at that time there was a lot going on
in my family, and I knew that I wanted to
be love. I knew that I wanted to show up
even when I wasn't happy with other people's choice, especially
(34:04):
when I had this nephew coming into the world, our
first it was our first, you know, in the family,
so my parents' first grandchild. And so I decided on
love as the as what I wanted to have on me.
But I knew I could only have it if I
could be it, which was still a work in progress, right,
But I didn't want it. It wasn't a vanity thing like, oh,
(34:24):
it's a pretty weird, let's put it on, you know.
And so I chose love and still waited several months,
and on my birthday in two thousand and eight, October
thirty first, I had love tattooed on the back of
my neck as my reminder, even though I can't see it,
as my reminder that it's there. If it's going to
be there, I have to show up as love in
(34:45):
every space that I can.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
You know, I God is the amazing architect of things.
And it's no coincidence. I mean, nothing is coinciense. It
says God's way of remaining anonymous. It's no coincidence that
you know. The first time I met you was at Lovelane,
Yes and Anguilla, and you have been consistently a reflection
of great energy and love. And I love what you
(35:07):
and Tommy and your team are doing in this space,
and we'll continue to celebrate you. But just want to
thank you for being a reflection of love as you've
set out to do, and you're doing the great work.
So thank you. We truly appreciate your support because it
helps us fulfill our mission of promoting cultural awareness and
personal development. Please click the subscribe button below to help
(35:30):
ensure and solidify our mission
Host
Astor Chamber
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