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August 12, 2025 16 mins

In this deeply honest episode of Culture Raises Us, Marquita Moore of How I Grew Today returns to unpack the spiritual and emotional journey of outgrowing identities, routines, and callings that once served us—but no longer fit who we’re becoming.

Marquita draws a clear line between faithfulness, which is rooted in obedience to God, and familiarity, which is rooted in comfort. She shares her own transformation from living in survival mode to stepping into a God-centered purpose, and the courage it took to walk away from personal and professional success that no longer aligned with her calling.

This conversation explores the fear of letting go, the danger of living for the applause of others, and the freedom found in rooting your identity in God rather than in patterns or past selves. If you’ve ever felt the nudge to evolve but feared the discomfort that comes with it, this episode is your reminder that faith often requires us to move beyond what’s familiar.

#CultureRaisesUs #MarquitaMoore #FaithOverComfort #CourageToChange #GodGivenPurpose #SpiritualGrowth #IdentityInChrist #LettingGo #PersonalTransformation #ObedienceOverComfort #FaithJourney #KingdomLiving

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Today, we're going to talk about what it means to
outgrow routines, identities and callings that once kind of fit
but no longer do. This requires what I think is
a great deal of discernment, obedience, and spiritual evolution, which
are esteemed guests. Marquita Moore of How I Grew Today
is back to discuss. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, So

(00:23):
how do you distinguish between what I call faithfulness and familiarity,
especially when the familiar and we all know how easy
it is to do familiar no longer fits our future?

Speaker 2 (00:35):
Okay, Well, faithfulness is rooted for me in obedience to God,
and familiarity is rooted in comfort.

Speaker 3 (00:51):
Right, So what's comfort? What am I mobient like?

Speaker 2 (00:55):
I would be drawn to do what's comfortable versus what
I know being required or asked to do in the moment.
For instance, if I feel in my spirit I need
to be doing X, Y and Z, but I want
to sit and.

Speaker 3 (01:13):
Watch TV all day. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (01:16):
That familiarity that's comforting to me and that's how I
look at that. Uh, faithfulness It produces life and movement
and intimacy with God, where familiarity can be complacent and
it could, you know, produce fear and stagnation and resistance

(01:40):
to change, resistance to change.

Speaker 1 (01:43):
When you were when you were giving your breakdown, it
made even more sense to me when you think about
faith requires you to be comfortable with discomfort and get
comfortable with being uncomfortable. Where familiar is you resting in
a place of comfort, And we all know that that's

(02:03):
not necessarily a place of growth. And that's why everybody
talks about you got to have your faith muscle has
to be exercised. But that requires you to be ready
to go into discomfort and doing things that are a
little bit different. And so when you just said it
the way you did, it became even clearer as to

(02:25):
why this makes so much sense. And so in what
ways can do you think staying too long in a
routine become disobedient or stagnation, even if at one point
it served us super well?

Speaker 2 (02:41):
You know, routines are powerful for discipline, but they can
be dangerous when they become like substitutes for us listening.
You know, if God is no longer anything, then why
am I staying?

Speaker 3 (02:56):
You know what I mean? If I'm giving over to
my comfort to disobedience even delayed.

Speaker 2 (03:04):
Even when I hear something and I don't do it
and it might take me a minute, that's disobedience, right,
Like it's just why am I staying in this space?
You can lose so much of yourself by staying in
something for so long, right, And that disobedience is you're

(03:25):
going to feel the ramifications of not doing what it
is that you asked you're being asked to.

Speaker 1 (03:30):
Do well where there I think some of that is
also when you talk about familiarity or stagnation, some of
that can be attributed to, you know, a survival mode.
You know, so I look at were there parts of
your identity that were formed in what I call this

(03:50):
survival mode? And if so, how did you begin to
release those parts? Right? You were no longer maybe in
survival mode, but now stepping into your purpose more. Because
it has to be something that nudges you in those
moments of familiarity in stagnation, because if you're already doing
these things, it is easy to stay and that does

(04:12):
feel like an element of survival mode. What were the
things that kind of triggered you to be like, no,
there's an evolution and there has to be a change.

Speaker 3 (04:21):
Right, So First of all, I feel like.

Speaker 2 (04:26):
My identity was so shaped in survival. Right, So, the
way that I talked, the way that I approached situations,
the way I showed up in relationships, the way I
performed was in survival because I needed acceptance and I
needed love and I needed all these things. So I
learned what didn't work, and so I created all these

(04:49):
things that did. And it took me to have the
courage to not want to do that anymore and to
really show up and be who God desired me to
be for me to let it go, you know what
I mean?

Speaker 1 (05:02):
Like I.

Speaker 2 (05:06):
Would have these inner conversations like next time I'm gonna
speak up or next time I'm gonna do something different,
and I would have to gasp myself up to do
it until I was like, you know what, I care
more about why and how God created me and what
he wants me to do than pleasing somebody else, you
know what I mean, Or not playing into the dynamic

(05:31):
that helps other people's stories come to pass, like I
want us to be real, Like I kept playing into
people's wounds, right.

Speaker 1 (05:38):
Yeah, but you also tapped into the word that you
said that pushed through for me was courage. Yeah, right,
courage is what came to the forefront in these scenarios
because during these times you were obviously witnessing and living
a certain level of success now branted worldly, right, But

(06:00):
I don't know why is it often so hard to
outgrow something that wants helped us succeed, even if it's
now potentially holding us back.

Speaker 3 (06:10):
This fear, fear of can I do it? Will people
accept me?

Speaker 2 (06:15):
If I change, will it be you know, all these things,
Like it takes a lot of courage to do something
different and be different. Like I sit and I think
about how different I am today from where I came from.
You know, I walked away from a lot of things
personally and professionally, and a lot of people may not

(06:38):
have made that decision to do that, right, But it
took courage, you know, And I hoped that, you know,
others would have been like, yes, girl, you better, you
do that, right, but come with you, you know, But
I wasn't met with that.

Speaker 3 (06:57):
It was kind of like, what are you doing?

Speaker 1 (07:00):
You disrupting the good thing? Yes, you live in the
life we all want.

Speaker 2 (07:07):
Yeah, why would you Why would you want to ruffle fect?
Why would you want to why would you want to,
but I was suffocating and I didn't.

Speaker 3 (07:15):
I couldn't see a way out right.

Speaker 2 (07:17):
It's either I'm going to continue to play along and
not be able to really spread my wings, you know,
and lived with my wings clipped, or I'm going to
do something where I can.

Speaker 3 (07:29):
Really extend and hope that.

Speaker 2 (07:33):
You know, at first it starts off a hope that
they will allow me to be this way, and then
now it's it's let me just pray, I intercede. I'm
okay with it, you.

Speaker 1 (07:44):
Know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (07:45):
Like, man, it's crazy.

Speaker 1 (07:49):
You don't know what's crazy, And what you just said,
and many of us are living or have lived, is
the fact that your damn you're living your life for
the applause of others. Yep, the applause of others. Because
everything that you just said was based off of not
you being locked into what your purpose was or what

(08:11):
you felt could be done with the gifts you've been given,
but it was more so how people were going to
perceive you and what you were doing, which is so
wild because we all, if we've all lived, it's not
still living. It don't realize that a lot of our
emotions and a lot of our roadblocks and a lot

(08:32):
of our hindrances, our fears and anxieties are based on that.
How are we going to be perceived, not based off
of what we're going to contribute or the better version
that we're going to be by locking. No, it's not,
but listen, it sounds so like basic, but it's so
profound because literally we're looking for how we're being received

(08:56):
by man.

Speaker 2 (08:57):
Yeah, not God, who are already probably none times out
of ten living life through wounds, right, so they're not.

Speaker 1 (09:08):
So now. And now you're trying to live up to
a standard, yeah, somebody whose standards might not even be
up to your, right, Marquita, not even up to your
your standard, and you are listen again.

Speaker 3 (09:22):
Are you to get okay with dumbing ourselves down to
in that?

Speaker 1 (09:26):
Because Marquita is, our society is set and we're programmed
for that. I listen every company, you know, these annual reviews,
the annual reviews, and these corporations are well comical to
me now and the reason why now because I look
back at what they are truly meant to do and
be And for those who may not be familiar with,

(09:49):
you know, annual reviews at your job or the corporations.
You know, you sit down with your manager and they
tell you how you've done for the year, and these
are the areas of importance. You need to get better
at it, and this is the re and why we're
promoting you or not promoting you and not giving you
a bonus, and all these things. And the more I
went through these and I got exposed to some things,
I realized, oh, no, this is just a system to

(10:09):
keep me in the box of where they want to
keep me, Meaning it was never truly meant to help
me build my deficiencies and provide me with the tools
of my deficiencies. It was meant to highlight what they
were perceiving as deficiencies so that they can say, this
is the reason why you didn't get this bonus or
this promotion or this thing. Because no, no, it's wild

(10:32):
because as I look back, whenever they talked about my deficiencies,
they never gave me the training of the tools to
workfep ever, and then they never highlighted my proficiencies to
be like, we need to do more of that. Why
can't we lean into more of what you do really well?
And there was one glaring example of a manager once

(10:53):
told me, like, look, the reason why I couldn't give
you the accolades and all the things that you deserve
for your performances is because we only have a certain
amount of those that we can give out to the team.
And I thought to myself, well, so, then at no
point are you ever going to truly get what's reflective
of what you do and what you are. So I

(11:14):
was like, this is crazy. But then I also looked
across the table, and I'm looking at the character the
individuals who are delivering these messages, and I'm like, well,
wait a minute, your character and your values don't even
align with my character and values. So now you're potentially
judging me and leaping me. It's wild. Yeah, So I
hope people take from this like the more you can

(11:37):
center your life around the values and the principles and
the intentions that you know you're bringing to the table
and you want to put out into the world, If
you could live with a foundation of leaning into that
and not that of what people are perceiving or projecting
on you, this thing called life gets a little bit easier.

(11:57):
It's not easy to do. It is not easy to
do because our society is not built for this, believe me.
But the more you can do that, the better off
this thing gets. Ye. So how do you keep yeah,
you know, how do we keep our identity rooted in
God not in our patterns or pat selves?

Speaker 3 (12:23):
Oh? I mean you know.

Speaker 1 (12:26):
I have.

Speaker 3 (12:30):
Had to sit with.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
Where I would just take I needed a clear understand
I needed to take time to really understand the word.
I needed to take time and really understand what my
relationship to.

Speaker 3 (12:49):
God is and what it means.

Speaker 2 (12:53):
And I've had to really anchor and talk to him right, Like,
I've had to really get clear and see the hindrances
of why I couldn't even see myself the way that
He sees me.

Speaker 3 (13:09):
Right, I had to.

Speaker 2 (13:11):
Realize what a relationship with him means. I had to
ask myself those questions like not just doing things routinely.

Speaker 3 (13:21):
Right, I had to understand what I'm doing.

Speaker 2 (13:24):
I have decided to live a life devoted to spiritual things,
aligned to God. What does that require of me to
see about who I am?

Speaker 1 (13:38):
Right?

Speaker 2 (13:39):
And so my desire is for me to conform to
who He is, to that image here and to clear
out what's in the way of me doing that.

Speaker 1 (13:53):
Right.

Speaker 2 (13:54):
So I am here to just be really cleaned out
that vessel so that he can again flow through me.

Speaker 3 (14:01):
And I want to be rooting in that.

Speaker 2 (14:04):
I don't want to look at myself the way that
I've been aligning it to how other people see me,
Like I don't.

Speaker 3 (14:11):
Want to live I don't want to live in that bondage.
I want to live in.

Speaker 2 (14:15):
The freedom of why he put me on earth, Like.

Speaker 1 (14:21):
Who am I?

Speaker 2 (14:22):
Who's to tell me? I can't live in that fullness?
So I want to be able to see everything that
is in the way of me not doing that. Every
thought I might have that's not an alignment to him,
every comment that I might have taken on that was
not sent from him, but I use it as law.

Speaker 3 (14:40):
I want to be able to see how life has
discipled me and not him.

Speaker 1 (14:47):
Listen, every time you come on, I applaud you, applaud
you for your transparency on the evolution that I've been
able to see and that you're so transparent on I'm
going from these sacred traditions to this sacred transformation. And
you are such a great example of somebody because again,

(15:10):
we're all human, We're all living this thing called life
and going through it. In our own ways and journeys,
and I really have to applaud you on that journey
and your ability to speak to it and the reality
of it. And again not saying anybody is better than
anyone in it or anyone's not as good as because

(15:31):
they haven't. But the more we're able to share these
transitions from sacred tradition to sacred transformation in God's likeness
is such a beautiful thing. And I can't thank you
enough for you being able to share that and articulate
that unapologetically. It is so needed and so appreciated.

Speaker 3 (15:51):
Thank you. I'm just really grateful that.

Speaker 2 (15:55):
He deemed me worthy to be in this space, that
he gave me the heart's desire to want to be
able to see myself clearly and change and transform and
not just roll in tradition, but to really transform. It's
I mean, you know it sounds cliche, but I mean
this with everything in my heart. All glory goes to him.

(16:19):
I'm just so grateful that he was patient with me
and long suffering with me so that I could get it,
you know, get how much he loves me, and get
how much he wants me to enact his power and
his love upon the earth.

Speaker 3 (16:36):
So I'm just grateful.

Speaker 1 (16:38):
I'm grateful him and and we are grateful for you.
Thank you, thank you.
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