Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Stress is no longer just an occasional visitor. It's officially
moved in. Uh. It wakes up with us, eats with us,
posts with us, and it's become so familiar that we
stopped recognizing it as a threat. But let's be very clear.
Stress isn't just tension in your shoulders. It's the weights
on your spirit. It's the fog and your purpose and
(00:24):
it left if left unchecked, it really becomes this thing
that we call the Boogeyman. Today's episode with my guy
Kenny Mack, the brand building strategist, we're gonna unpack why
we're carrying so much and calling it normal and what
we need to do to kind of begin the work
of healing and making progress. So, if stresses the boogeyman,
(00:45):
what myths have we created around it? And have those
myths kind of affected the way we deal with it.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
I think the first myth and the biggest one there
is that stress or the things that we stress about,
is real. There's it's not. You know, there are studies
that are out that are like, you know, I think
it's like ninety percent of things that people stress about
(01:13):
will never come to fruition. It's we are we are
living in the what if and not the what is.
That leads to a big part of this stress. We're
looking at something that like I'll never forget. A friend
of mine I was stressed out about something financially and
(01:35):
he was like, when have you ever missed a rent?
And I was like, well never, And he was like,
so why are you worried about it? Now? You always
figure it out, So just go figure it out. And
I think it's that the thing, the situation is real,
but the stress is because you're worried about the outcome
(01:56):
of what it could be as opposed to finding the
solution to what it is.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
It's and it's how we perceive it. Everything is a
choice on how you choose to perceive something, and I
think that's a big part. And I look at differentiating
between there is a healthy stress though, right like motivation
and that type leads or does that lead to you know,
(02:23):
burnout or break down as well? Or is there a
difference between what I call healthy stress and the stresses
that you're kind of talking about.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
So I would first say that there is no such
thing as health healthy stress. It's it's how we control
ourselves and our emotions to acknowledge when we feel stressed,
like not we are stressed, because that's one thing we
shouldn't say, is like I'm stressed. It's there's something that
(02:54):
is putting stress on me. The stress isn't you? And
the control of how we tink that feeling of stress
and transform it into how we confront the feeling, right,
because it is through confronting that feeling that we look
(03:20):
at in the eye say this is what I'm stressed
about or this is what is stressing me, and then
turn it into do I attack that problem and fix
that thing? So you look at stress in the eye
and you say why why am I feeling this? So
opposed to feeling it in your body and running away,
(03:43):
you're confronting it directly, and then you say, okay, cool,
this is why, and this is what I must do
to attack that why. And now I'm motivated to go
attack the why. So the stress isn't what is giving
you the motivation. The motivation is how you confront that
(04:03):
feeling of stress.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
When you were breaking that down, you know, I'm thinking,
you know, as we're both fathers, the many times I've
had to say when one of the littles tell me oh,
you made me mad or somebody made me mad' No, no, no, no, no,
I didn't make you mad. Nobody else made you mad.
You chose to be mad. You made a decision based
off the circumstances. But I or the other people did
(04:29):
not make you. You chose that. And so I'm thinking
back on that, and it sounds like it's the very
similar principles to hear in addition to the one that
I had more recently with my littles. You know, it's
like I have anxiety and say, wait, no, you don't
have anxiety. You might be anxious in this moment based
(04:49):
off of what the circumstances are, but that doesn't mean
you have anxiety. Right, some anxiety, right.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Something is giving you that feeling of an anxiety. You
don't have anxiety.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Correct, You may be anxious or highly anticipating something. So
I look at you know how research shows that our
brains actually prefer familiarity over challenge.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Right.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Do you think does that tendency make stress even harder
to manage or escape?
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Yeah? I mean listen, I think all of us who
do the work know that you know, these things all
trace back to childhood trauma, right, And what we did
in our young selves to find comfort in that moment
without having proper understanding, professional help and intentional guidance in
(05:44):
the moment, right. And it's those moments that create these
bad habits, and those bad habits that lead to this
toxic familiarity that you talk about over healthy change, right.
And I do want to say to parents, you know, like,
no matter what you do, your kid's gonna get trauma
like this, like we all get childhood traumas. My daughter
(06:06):
pointed that out to me the other day because I
was so shocked that I did something when she was young,
and she was like, you didn't do it because you
were intentional about it. It just was you doing what
you could do. And she was just like your great father,
But these things happen, and the best thing you could
have done was provided that professional help so that we
can get through those things, you know what I'm saying.
(06:27):
So so so you know, cause I know, parents, it's
it's not perfect. It's gonna happen, so like, be the
best you can be and do what you can do
what you can do, you know, I think, But yeah,
I think that's that's what it is. It's that it's
these things that we build from childhood, and it's us,
(06:48):
you know, having to do the work and break them
and figure out ways to get around it and get
over it. But we just have it inside it. We
have to first acknowledge that it's there and we have
to fix it.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
So that is that your approach to kind of we
have to retrain our minds basically to face discomfort without
spiraling into what I call these these anxious moments or
these this sense of avoidance or even paralysis sometimes.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Yeah, I mean listen. One thing that that you know,
I do want to say is that you know, we
shouldn't run, We should confront right. I call it, you know,
we call it the Boogeyman because it's all in your
(07:34):
mind unless it's John Wick and he's coming for you,
and then you screen right. But you know, uh so
think about it like this. When you're a kid, you're
in your bed, it's nighttime, the lights are out, the
closet is partially cracked, you can't see inside of it,
it's dark. You hear a noise, Oh my god, it's
(07:57):
the Boogeyman. You can choose to sit down in your
bed and squirm and be shook and not sleep well
all night thinking that there's a boogeyman in the closet
and not confront it. Or you can walk up to
the closet, open the door, turn the light on, realize
that there's nothing in there. Oh and by the way,
it was a piece of paper in front of the
(08:18):
vent that was making that noise. Was not real. Right,
So the majority of time when you confront what you
are feeling, it is you know, it is this game
that your brain is playing on you. The other thing
that I want to say too is as a reminder
is people, you have to remember we are not our brain. Right.
(08:41):
People think we are our brain because our brain moves.
Our brain is a muscle like any other muscle. We
are our soul and we have to train our brain
to do the things that we wanted to do so
that so that it doesn't control us.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Right, that's a bar. We are not our brain.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
We are o soul.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
You are one thousand percent spot on with that, And
it's how do you allow your soul to inform your
brain rather than your brain informing your soul? Yep, yeah,
because I saw something. Another thing I saw about the
brain recently is that the brain is it's constantly moving
you and dinging you all over the place. I think
(09:29):
it's called like monkey monkey swings. I think is the terminology,
and the majority of it are things that are not true.
It just has you swinging all over the place. But
if your soul is intact, and your soul then informs
and reminds you of who and what you are, the
child of God, you are all the things, it helps
(09:51):
to now bring that brain into a place of Oh,
I can't I can't take him or her swinging on
this monkey swing.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Right, But so I think, sorry, no, no, no, no, I
think for me, what it is too is once you
understand your brain is like a muscle, you realize that
your brain has a function. Right, So my back is uh.
I realized my back was hunching hunching over the other
day and it was hurting, and I was like, oh, okay,
(10:20):
so let me go to the gym. And I did
some research and I was like, let me go to
the gym, and there's these two exercises that I'm gonna
do for two minutes. Speech that involves strengthening the parts
of my body that will help that go away well
through consistency, that problem was fixed. I did that, and
(10:41):
then next thing I know, I saw it. I think.
I think it's very similar with your brain and how
you deal with stress or anxiety or whatever. You have
to do the things that you're gonna need to do
and treat it like that muscle due to research through
the things you're gonna need to do to actually do
something to fix the problem. As opposed to continuously hunching over.
I could have just been like, oh, just what it is,
(11:02):
or no, like, don't fix it. You know that's right?
Speaker 1 (11:05):
So what does a world look like where managing stress
is not a side hustle but built into how we
kind of live, work, and relate in general.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
I think that then it becomes part of your regiment. Right.
So I was in a place where it was in
constant state of stress, wasn't able to sleep all of
this stuff, and I started doing my research. I realized
my carzole levels are up in the morning. I realized this.
I realized that, and I put together a regiment. Just
(11:38):
like I would put together a gym regiment for my body.
I put together a regiment for myself very similar to
what I was talking about, in which I do a
combination of things. I exercise my brain and that's through meditation,
that's through manifestation, you know, that's through you know, all
(12:04):
the different things that I do from you know, from
that standpoint, I exercise my body, which is also connected
to that, whether that's going to the gym or taking
walks and the uh so physical exercise. Oh and now
also so the physical exercise is the gym, going for
(12:25):
walks and playing pickleball, which has been a great source
of joy for me. And then it's also about making
sure that I'm in the right community, like intentionally being
around the right people that won't bring me down, that
will lift me up. And then it's also about diet
and taking the right supplements when I eat, how I eat,
(12:46):
and doing that as a ritual, making that part of
my ritual where I have my brain exercise, my physical exercise.
And even when I talk about my brain exercise, it's
the meditation, it's the manifestation, and it's also how we think, feel,
and speak. We're in control of those three things and
if we keep that positive, it leads to more positivity. Right.
(13:11):
But if you start to do all of those things together,
then I think that there's you know, there's real uh,
you see real gains like you do from going to gym.
You go work out consistently, eat right consistently, your body
will change. You start doing these type of things consistently,
your brain will change. The way you think will change
the way the way the world happens around you will change.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
You know.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Also you know also tell people I give you this
quick tidbit, like, there's go do the research. There's literal
something you could do out there to fight stuff. So
you're feeling overly anxious, You're feeling this this this stress, right,
and I tell you lean into the feeling, right, find
that feeling in your body, look it in its eye
and say why right, But here's something to do. Go
in the fridge, get an ice cube, but the ice
(13:57):
cube in your hand. Hould the ice cube tightly, sit down,
close your eyes, start breathing deeply, and whilst you're breathing deeply,
look in and feel that light stress. Where is it?
And then you ask the stress? Why? Why am I feeling? You?
What is happening? And then you start to figure out, well,
if that's what I'm feeling and this is what the
(14:18):
source of this is, what can I do about it,
how do I fix it? And then you come out
of this thing with a clear understanding of what you're
doing right and a clear you will find that that
feeling you were feeling of stress is gone because of
doing this. And I'll tell you this. The science behind
it is holding the ice cube sends a signal to
(14:39):
your brain to regulate your nervous system. It's very similar
to sitting in the ice bag. Jump in your flight
or fright hit to you immediately, and then as soon
as you're in for a second, you're like, oh, my
body just chilled out. The deep breathing helps to bring
your blood your heart rate down and helps you to
focus on what you're thinking about. So now you're is like, okay,
(15:01):
the nervous system is aligned, and now I'm hearing this
messaging okay, let me help. Okay, this is what we
need to do. So okay, so let's just focus on
this and stop focusing on this feeling that's useless. Let's
focus on fixing this thing. And so that's just one
thid that there are a million of them out there
that I think people should like look more into to
go fix their problems, Like don't sit on it. Don't
(15:22):
be the kid in the blanket. No, not going in
the closet.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
And it sounds like you are really about stop trying
to calm the storm, but calm yourself through the storm,
because the storm.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Is going to pass. One hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
I think, like I said, the things that stress.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
You, they're real. The stress is fake.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
There you go, and with that, I thank you once again, Bro,
thank you