According to Kid Rock, humans can understand up to 25 letters of the alphabet. (+ 19 more dad jokes!)

Daily Dad Jokes (18 Apr 2025)

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Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes.

Joke credits: mrl33602, Loose_Pilot574, Jesse_Bitchman, No-Suggestion2467, e-bio, DinglebarryHandpump, impiousPunster, C-J-P-, GiborDesign, ich_lebe, TooOldToBePunk, Realistic-Twist-3112, , Cheepshooter, TooOldToBePunk, ErwinFurwinPurrwin, 1989JY_Ked, Masselein, Few-Victory-5773, Joel_Boyens, greedydita

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
I'm looking for someone to brush their teeth with me
every morning, because my dentist says that brushing alone won't
prevent cavities.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
I told a joke during a team's call, but no
one laughed. Turns out I'm not even remotely funny.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
My wife asked me, why don't you treat me like
you did when we were dating? So I took her
out for dinner, into movie, then dropped her off at
her parents' house.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
I caught my son chewing on electrical chords, so I
had to ground him. He's doing better currently and now
conducting himself properly.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
What do you call an ion? That's not an ion,
but just a conception about an ion a notion.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
Someone keeps sending me flowers with the tops cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
If you hide twenty eight eggs this weekend, but till
your kids there are thirty, you'll have time for a
little nap.

Speaker 2 (01:29):
I recently cut ties with someone dragging me down mountain.
Climbing with family can be hard.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
The pentagon was originally supposed to be an octagon, but
seemingly the architect cut a few corners.

Speaker 2 (01:51):
What do you call a fish with no eyes a
blind fish.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
A man was admitted to hospital with six plastic horses
up his butt. Doctors described his condition as stable. Get
ready for more laughs and groans following this short break.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
Why did I take a date to the gym to
see if the relationship would work out?

Speaker 1 (02:27):
Can you imagine my neighbor banged on my door at
three thirty am. Lucky for him, I was still up
practicing my drums.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
No, why chat GPT won't teach you how to do
something immoral? It follows its code of ethics.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
Why did the laptop catch a cold because someone left
windows open?

Speaker 2 (02:56):
According to kid Rock, humans can understand up to twenty
five letters of the alphabet. Only God knows why.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
Why this guy was said, I don't know, but it
looked blue.

Speaker 2 (03:15):
My dad recently welcomed my son into a prestigious club
he's the president of he was grandfathered in.

Speaker 1 (03:25):
Has anyone actually witnessed someone's life being saved using snake venom?
Or are these cases purely antidotal? I'm Bob Jeffy and
I'm Montgomery Jones. Listen until the end of the episode
for a bonus joke. We're on a mission to spread
the laughs and groans far and wide. So do us

(03:46):
a favor and share one of these jokes with your
family and friends today. Looking for the gift for Dad,
We have the official Daily Dad Jokes Podcast Electronic Joke Button,
now available on Amazon, a massive five hundred preloaded dad
jokes guaranteed to make you laugh and groan. Check the

(04:08):
show notes page for the link. The Daily Dad Jokes
podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the show notes
page for social media links and joke credits. This show
was recorded in front of a canned studio audience. I
bought an Impressionist painting of some flowers, but when I
got back home, the cat scratched it. Now I'm trying

(04:31):
to sell it as a Claude Monet