An Imperial Stormtrooper is 5’11” tall… (+ 18 more dad jokes!)

Daily Dad Jokes (05 May 2025)

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Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes.

Joke credits: Man-e-questions, EsotericTribble, snekinmaboot1, berkleysquare, letsgoiowa, mrl33602, Winnie_And_The_Jets, Eagle4523, ___HeyGFY___, scottmc94, Mu17inItOver, Slowloris81, , e-bio, nerdjpeg72, Healthy_Ladder_6198, EubuleusRocks, Jongotti4003, Deimos7779, chutupandtakemykarma

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
An Imperial stormtrooper is five feet eleven inches tall, and
a metric stormtrooper is one hundred and eighty centimeters tall.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
Why did Chewbacca crash the first ship he piloted when
he was young? It was a Wookie mistake.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
People tell me that they pick their nose. I was
just born with mine.

Speaker 2 (00:41):
I'm collecting fish jokes for a book that I'm writing.
If you know any, then let me know.

Speaker 1 (00:51):
Nuns aren't known for innovation. In fact, you could even
see they're quite conventinal.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
What kind of income does a vegetable receive? A celery?

Speaker 1 (01:08):
My partner has a lot in common with pie. Both
are irrational.

Speaker 2 (01:18):
Today is May the fourth, Tomorrow is Sinco de Mayo,
and if you're not careful with what you eat or drink,
the next day is Revenge of the sixth.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
There's dog hair all over the house. We might as
well call it a shd.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
What do you call it when Grandpa clears the room
by soiling as diaper? Weaponized?

Speaker 1 (01:42):
In continents, why did Yoda decide to move to the
do Google system? He never wanted to forget what sound
sheep make? We'll resume the fun and lefts right after

(02:02):
this message.

Speaker 2 (02:04):
Why do Linux admins prefer to work in the basement
because they hate windows?

Speaker 1 (02:15):
What do you call a spider construction site a website?

Speaker 2 (02:24):
What kind of medical condition causes wrinkled clubs an iron deficiency?

Speaker 1 (02:34):
The cemetery in my town is getting overcrowded. People are
just dying to get in.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
I got into an argument with the officer for giving
me a parking ticket. I told him, but the sign
said fine for parking.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
At first, not a lot of people called me glue,
but then it stuck.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
What sound did Skype make as it went away? Zoom?

Speaker 1 (03:10):
I'm Bob Jaffee and I'm Montgomery Jones. Stay with us
until the end of the episode for a bonus joke.
We're on a mission to spread the laughs and groans
far and why help us out by sharing these jokes
with your family and friends today. Looking for more dad

(03:31):
joke humor to share, then subscribe to our new weekly
email newsletter. It's our weekly roundup of the best dad jokes,
memes and humor for you to enjoy. Spread the laughs
and groans and sign up today. Check the sign up
link in the show notes page or visit dailydadjokespodcast dot com.

(03:53):
The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios.
See the show notes page for social media links and
Joe credits. This show was recorded in front of a
canned studio audience. When I was a child, I used
to enjoy making sandcastles with my grandfather until my mother
made me put the iron back on the mantle.