Daily Dad Jokes (08 May 2025)
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Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes.
Joke credits: Man-e-questions, Aggravating_Hat3955, Left-Distribution-13, Healthy_Ladder_6198, mrl33602, berkleysquare, WizardofPasta, thefirstwhistlepig, ASK_ABT_MY_USERNAME, IthinkIknowwhothatis, berkleysquare, Super_Kent155, , asromatifoso, asromatifoso, vectoradam, Bipedal_pedestrian, Pillbily, Kitchen-Reaction-270, TheComedicComedian, yougotmike2694
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
An alligator killed a woman in Florida while canoeing. I
didn't even know alligators could use canoes.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Apparently the new Pope's first question was where do I
get to live? They told him Rome, if you want to.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
You should be worried. If cows are smoking marijuana, that's
when the stakes are highest.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
I tried to sneak into a Star Trek convention disguised
as a doctor. The security guard suspected I was not
the real McCoy.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Last week, I was bored, so I decided to swap
some labels in my wife's spice wreck. So far she
hasn't noticed, but marked my words. Her time is cuman.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
A beggar confronted me as I was leaving a hospital
and said any change. I said, yes, I'm feeling a
lot better now.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
I drink apple juice. I drink apple juice because OJ
will kill you.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
What do you call it when an animal is invisible
in the desert camouflage?
Speaker 1 (01:34):
I have an irrational fear of spiders in the Middle East.
Doctors call it irechnophobia.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
I tried pushing the envelope, but it remained stationary.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
I was watching an Australian food show on TV when
the contestants were baking meringue and the audience to cheering,
which was unusual as they usually boomerang.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Have you tried German food? I hear it's divorced.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
We'll continue with more Dad humor after this quick pause.
Bought a new car from Sweden and board all my
friends talking about it. They got really sick of hearing
my sob story.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
How can you tell a clam as an extrovert? They've
really come out of their shell.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile
away and you'll have their shoes.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
They told me to follow my dreams, so I went
back to bed.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
My dad is courageous and sharp. He has the heart
of a lion, the eyes of a hawk, and a
lifetime band from the zoo.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
What do you call that thing you do when you
find the long lost case to a CD you've owned
for years? Rediscovery?
Speaker 1 (03:32):
My buddy has a tattoo that says comparison is the
thief of joy. So I went and got the same one,
but a little bigger.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
I'm Bob Jeffy and I'm Montgomery Jones. Stay tuned until
the end of the episode for a bonus joke. We're
on a mission to spread the laughs and groans far
and wide, so please share one of these jokes with
your family and friends today. Looking for more dad joke
(04:05):
humor to share, then subscribe to our new weekly email newsletter.
It's our weekly roundup of the best dad jokes, memes,
and humor for you to enjoy. Spread the laughs and
groans and sign up today. Check the sign up link
in the show notes page or visit Daily dadjokespodcast dot com.
The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios.
(04:27):
See the show notes page for social media links and
joke credits. This show was recorded in front of a
canned studio audience. I've been going bird watching and I've
only seen female cardinals lately. Then I remembered all the
male cardinals are in Rome. Y
An alligator killed a woman in Florida while canoeing. I
didn't even know alligators could use canoes.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Apparently the new Pope's first question was where do I
get to live? They told him Rome, if you want to.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
You should be worried. If cows are smoking marijuana, that's
when the stakes are highest.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
I tried to sneak into a Star Trek convention disguised
as a doctor. The security guard suspected I was not
the real McCoy.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Last week, I was bored, so I decided to swap
some labels in my wife's spice wreck. So far she
hasn't noticed, but marked my words. Her time is cuman.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
A beggar confronted me as I was leaving a hospital
and said any change. I said, yes, I'm feeling a
lot better now.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
I drink apple juice. I drink apple juice because OJ
will kill you.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
What do you call it when an animal is invisible
in the desert camouflage?
Speaker 1 (01:34):
I have an irrational fear of spiders in the Middle East.
Doctors call it irechnophobia.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
I tried pushing the envelope, but it remained stationary.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
I was watching an Australian food show on TV when
the contestants were baking meringue and the audience to cheering,
which was unusual as they usually boomerang.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Have you tried German food? I hear it's divorced.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
We'll continue with more Dad humor after this quick pause.
Bought a new car from Sweden and board all my
friends talking about it. They got really sick of hearing
my sob story.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
How can you tell a clam as an extrovert? They've
really come out of their shell.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile
away and you'll have their shoes.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
They told me to follow my dreams, so I went
back to bed.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
My dad is courageous and sharp. He has the heart
of a lion, the eyes of a hawk, and a
lifetime band from the zoo.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
What do you call that thing you do when you
find the long lost case to a CD you've owned
for years? Rediscovery?
Speaker 1 (03:32):
My buddy has a tattoo that says comparison is the
thief of joy. So I went and got the same one,
but a little bigger.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
I'm Bob Jeffy and I'm Montgomery Jones. Stay tuned until
the end of the episode for a bonus joke. We're
on a mission to spread the laughs and groans far
and wide, so please share one of these jokes with
your family and friends today. Looking for more dad joke
(04:05):
humor to share, then subscribe to our new weekly email newsletter.
It's our weekly roundup of the best dad jokes, memes,
and humor for you to enjoy. Spread the laughs and
groans and sign up today. Check the sign up link
in the show notes page or visit Daily dadjokespodcast dot com.
The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios.
(04:27):
See the show notes page for social media links and
joke credits. This show was recorded in front of a
canned studio audience. I've been going bird watching and I've
only seen female cardinals lately. Then I remembered all the
male cardinals are in Rome. Y
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