I hope they don’t make a mistake when choosing the new pope. (+ 18 more dad jokes!)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
One time I knocked on a psychic's door and she said,
who is it? So I left.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
When my wife gets angry, I like to put a
cape around her that makes her super angry.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave
me a hug.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
I was asked who my favorite vampire is. I said
the one from Sesame Street. They told me he doesn't count.
I replied, I assure you he does.

Speaker 1 (00:47):
After the first one hundred days of the new president
US looks terrific.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
I ordered at thesaurus recently. When it arrived, all the
pages were blank. I have no words to describe my anger.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
I was going to post a joke about people with
nerve damage, but it's insensitive.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
What do you call an ALP's mountain that compliments you? Flatterhorn?

Speaker 1 (01:34):
I was always afraid of getting getting a dad bod,
but I'm coming around.

Speaker 2 (01:44):
If I spit rhymes into a snorkel underwater, does that
make bubble wrap?

Speaker 1 (01:54):
I hope they don't make a mistake when choosing the
new pope. That would be a cardinal error. Hanging there
for more laughs and groans after this quick announcement.

Speaker 2 (02:07):
Why did the deer get braces? He had buck teeth.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
I don't understand why people eat pretzels. They are not food.

Speaker 2 (02:22):
Hard work has never killed anyone, but why take a chance.
I don't want to be the first one.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
My wife asked me to change the baby. Damn was
she upset when I found one that didn't cry as much?

Speaker 2 (02:43):
Did you hear about the restaurant on the Moon? Great food,
but no atmosphere.

Speaker 1 (02:52):
What's the difference between a sports drinks and regular sports drinks?
Imish sports drinks doesn't have electrolytes.

Speaker 2 (03:04):
I was on jury duty for some guy that stole
a man's case. The purp confessed right away, so it
was a very brief, briefcase case. I'm Bob Jeffy.

Speaker 1 (03:17):
And I'm Montgomery Jones.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
Tune in until the end of the episode for a
bonus joke. We're on a mission to spread the laughs
and groans far and wide, so please share these jokes
with your family and friends today.

Speaker 1 (03:34):
Looking for more dad joke humor to share, then subscribe
to our new weekly email newsletter. It's our weekly roundup
of the best dad jokes, memes, and humor for you
to enjoy. Spread the laughs and groans and sign up today.
Check the sign up Lincoln the show notes page, or
visit dailydadjokespodcast dot com. The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is

(03:59):
produced by Classic Studios. See the show notes page for
social media links and Joe credits. This show was recorded
in front of a canned studio audience. I can hear
music coming out of my printer. I think the paper
is jamming again.

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Daily Dad Jokes (24 Apr 2025)

Episode Transcript

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}I hope they don’t make a mistake when choosing the new pope. (+ 18 more dad jokes!)