I think the worst character in the Harry Potter movie was Nearly-Headless Nick. (+ 17 more dad jokes!)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
I went to an AA meeting. I was shocked when
every single one of them stood up and openly admitted
to being an alcoholic. I told him I'm not letting
any of you fix my car and left.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
I used to play the piano. I used to play
piano by ear, but now I use my hands much
less painful.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
What did the man say when he was reversing his car, Ah, yes,
this takes me back.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
What's blue and doesn't weigh much? Light blue?

Speaker 1 (00:50):
What did the convicted cannibal request as his last meal?

Speaker 2 (00:53):
Five guys, did you know Taylor Swift was named after
Albert Einstein? Yeah, a one hundred ten years after.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
I think the worst character in the Harry Potter movie
was nearly headless Nick. He was just poorly executed.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
I had to quit my job as a taxi driver.
Too many people were talking behind my back.

Speaker 1 (01:39):
To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
I saw a fat ghost working out today in the gym.
I had to say it, that's the spirit.

Speaker 1 (01:56):
My son was telling me a joke about communism, but
he was taking too long. I told him to quit
stalin and get to the punchline already.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
Did you hear the computer program that was sentenced to death.
It was executed, We'll resume the fund and laughs.

Speaker 1 (02:18):
Right after this message, I told my dad that since
he has retired and on a fixed income now, he
should not be buying overpriced beverage coolers and insulated cups,
Yet he still does it.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
Why does the Little Mermaid prefer to hang the alphabet
vertically and not horizontally on her wall because she likes
most of the letters to be under the sea.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
How does an electrician punishes their kid when they misbehave
He grounds them.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
What do you find in the middle of nowhere the letter.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
H I kept trying to tell my friend I was
swimming in a lake, but he kept telling me I
was swimming in the largest river in Egypt. Safe to
see I was in denial. I'm Bob Jeffy and I'm
Montgomery Jones. Keep listening until the end of the episode

(03:20):
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(03:41):
dad jokes memes and humor for you to enjoy. Spread
the laughs and groans and sign up today. Check the
sign up link in the show notes page or visit
Daily dadjokespodcast dot com. The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is
produced by Classic Studios. See the show notes page for
social media links and joke credits. This show was recorded

(04:02):
in front of a canned studio audience. I got a
joke about corkboard, but it's kind of tacky,

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}I think the worst character in the Harry Potter movie was Nearly-Headless Nick. (+ 17 more dad jokes!)