In high school I had a friend who only drew cartoons of Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Linus, Lucy, and Woodstock. Recently at the reunion he was drawing pictures of Mickey Mouse for everyone. (+ 17 more dad jokes!)

Daily Dad Jokes (26 Jun 2024)

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Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes. Joke credits: -roseds, mfredbird04, StockInitial4460, Jester57, glnb20, TheQuietKid22, Immediate-Music-3670, sarastormy, OnlyOneness, samie-clark, Budget-Pay3743, MrGrubbycuddles, , Man-e-questions, Joel_Boyens, Negative-Plankton-23, StrafemOrigin, Same_Garlic2928, jdimezillas

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Not to brag, but I made six figures last year.
I was also named worst employee at the toy factory.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
I screwed up. My girlfriend swore she'd leave me if
I stole another kitchen utensil while we were out shopping.
At the time, it was a whisk I was willing
to take.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
You should always sleep with your head somewhat higher than
your feet, That is, if you're so inclined.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
What is blue but not heavy light blue?

Speaker 1 (00:51):
Did you hear about that guy who stole fifty cartons
of soap? The police couldn't prosecute him. His hands were clean.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
For supper tonight, me and wife had him Alayan rabbit.
We found Himalayan on the road.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, at least
it does if you throw it hard enough.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
Why do Italians love to eat ravioli at birthday parties
Because that's the best time to past a parcel.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been tilling inside jokes.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
I keep forgetting my passwords, so I changed it to incorrect.
Now if I forget it, I just put in anything
and it says your password is incorrect.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
I just walked past the farm that's mill like farts.
I said, what is this a windmill? We'll resumed the
fun and laughs right after this message.

Speaker 2 (02:13):
In high school, I had a friend who only drew
cartoons of Charlie brown Snoopy, Linus, Lucy, and Woodstock. Recently,
at the reunion he was drawing pictures of Mickey Mouse
for everyone. That was pretty uncharacteristic of him.

Speaker 1 (02:29):
Why should you never trust a doodle because they're sketchy.

Speaker 2 (02:37):
There's a place where very few people live with flawless skin.
It's called scarcity.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
I just grew a record breaking vegetable. That's a turnip
for the books.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
Went to see a urologist. All he did was take
the piss.

Speaker 1 (03:12):
Last night, we went to an escape room that serves
great pasta. We were locked in with Nylki, I'm Bob Jeffy,
and I'm Montgomery Jones. Stay tuned until the end of
the episode for a bonus Dad joke. Our goal is
to spread joy or cringes to the world. Share the

(03:32):
humor with your family and friends. Have a good night,
and I'll see you again tomorrow. Thank you for tuning
in looking for the gift for Dad. We have the
official Daily Dad Jokes podcast Electronic Joke Button now available
on Amazon a massive five hundred preloaded dad jokes guaranteed

(03:54):
to make you laugh and groan. Check the show notes
page for the link. Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced
by Classic Studios. See the show notes page for social
media links and joke credits. This show was recorded in
front of a canned studio audience. What's small and Red

(04:14):
and has a rough voice? A horse Radish