January 11, 2024 • 7 mins
Daily Dad Jokes (11 Jan 2024)
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Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes. Joke credits: mncyclone84, superflyguy87, chuin_masterofsinanj, HellsJuggernaut, romben1, LetsdothisEpic, norrisdt, hrteas, xplorerex, kickypie, fullmiz, , incredibleinkpen, Learned_Response, mario1232020, IAMACARROTboi, herotomany, Huge-Advantage7838, Superjam83, movingpileofcash, Baby-Penewine, TheAzrael2013, RedTheThirteenth, JoggingPylon, athei-nerd, ghostuser689, ilikesidehugs, iiraoni, Naitraen, cantfindtherealslim, JayTheLinuxGuy, ferventlycavalier, porichoygupto, samwisethewise, Glum-Parsnip8257, ExcelOceans, bedhed69, ohitszie
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes because
he uses superior ingredients.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
If a cow doesn't produce milk, it's both an utter
failure and a milk dot.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
The checker at the grocery store asked me if I
wanted my milk in a bag. I told her to
leave it in the carton.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
A man assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Son? What are you drinking? Soy milk? Ola milk? Soy
es two padre?
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Why is milk the fastest thing ever? Because it's pasture
eyes before you see it.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Why does a milking stool only have three legs because
the cow has the udder.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Carnation? Milk should be called ghost milk because it's evaporated.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
My joke's age like milk. They're all cheesy.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
What kind of bees get milk? Boo bees?
Speaker 1 (01:42):
The doctor told me to get in a bathtub full
of milk to soothe my sunburn. I asked him pasteurized?
He said no, just up to your neck. Get ready
for more laughs and groans following this short break.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
In our fridge, there's condensed milk, evaporated milk, vanilla, and eggs.
So just as a precaution. I've put a sticker on
it saying warning, highly flammable.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
I've started telling people about random milkfacts, like how Russians
once you used a frog to preserve milk. I guess
you could say that was a caseine point.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
What sound does a cow make when it runs out
of milk? None? There is utter silence.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Milk is good, but it could be butter.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Our milkman was fired today. He was semi skimming off
the top.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
What do you call the milkman with deformed feet? Lactose?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
The milkman refuses to deliver to my house? How dairy?
Speaker 1 (03:13):
When does the French milkman come late?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
What do you call a milkman in the wild West?
A cowboy?
Speaker 1 (03:29):
John legend announced he will become a milkman. It will
be legendary.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Why did the milkman play basketball? He could always make
a half court.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
How does the milkman treat his children? He spoils them.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Where do milkshakes come from nervous cows?
Speaker 1 (04:11):
What do you call an expired milkshake a milkshake?
Speaker 2 (04:19):
In the US, my milkshake brings all the boys to
the yard. But in Europe, my milkshake brings all the
boys to the meter.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
What do you call a cow that survived an earthquake
a milkshake?
Speaker 2 (04:39):
They have milkshakes with whipped cream and cherries of Chick
fil A, but nothing more elaborate, otherwise they might have
to work on Sundays.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
I once had a cow with epilepsy. We called her milkshake.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
I had door Dash deliver some burger king and I
ordered a milkshake because why not. The door Dash guy
brought it to my door and it was good. Then
I realized my milkshake literally brought a boy to the yard.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
There was a stampede at the dairy farm today. It
was utter chaos.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
My buddy just got fired from a dairy farm for
being the worst employee they had ever seen. He was
a serious danger to himself and utters.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
I am planning a dairy startup looking for cow founders.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
When you are the cream of dairy inspectors, nothing gets pasteurized.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Lactose intolerant people handles some jokes, well, they're too cheesy.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
My wife keeps coming home with the wrong type of milk.
Turns out she's lactose incompetent.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
What do you get when you baptize a cow pasteurized milk.
I'm Bob Jeffy and I'm Montgomery Jones, and that's the
milky dad jokes for National Milk Day. We're on a
(06:41):
mission to spread the laughs and groans far and wide,
so please do us a favor and share just one
of these jokes with your family and friends today. Thanks.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Looking for more dad joke humor to share, subscribe to
our new weekly email newsletter. It's our weekly roundup of
the best dad jokes, memes, and humor for you to enjoy.
Spread the laughs and groans and sign up today. Check
the sign up link in the show notes page or
visit dailydadjokespodcast dot com. The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is
(07:18):
produced by Classic Studios. See the show notes page for
social media links and joke credits. This show was recorded
in front of a canned studio audience.
Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes because
he uses superior ingredients.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
If a cow doesn't produce milk, it's both an utter
failure and a milk dot.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
The checker at the grocery store asked me if I
wanted my milk in a bag. I told her to
leave it in the carton.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
A man assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Son? What are you drinking? Soy milk? Ola milk? Soy
es two padre?
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Why is milk the fastest thing ever? Because it's pasture
eyes before you see it.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Why does a milking stool only have three legs because
the cow has the udder.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Carnation? Milk should be called ghost milk because it's evaporated.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
My joke's age like milk. They're all cheesy.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
What kind of bees get milk? Boo bees?
Speaker 1 (01:42):
The doctor told me to get in a bathtub full
of milk to soothe my sunburn. I asked him pasteurized?
He said no, just up to your neck. Get ready
for more laughs and groans following this short break.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
In our fridge, there's condensed milk, evaporated milk, vanilla, and eggs.
So just as a precaution. I've put a sticker on
it saying warning, highly flammable.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
I've started telling people about random milkfacts, like how Russians
once you used a frog to preserve milk. I guess
you could say that was a caseine point.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
What sound does a cow make when it runs out
of milk? None? There is utter silence.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Milk is good, but it could be butter.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Our milkman was fired today. He was semi skimming off
the top.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
What do you call the milkman with deformed feet? Lactose?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
The milkman refuses to deliver to my house? How dairy?
Speaker 1 (03:13):
When does the French milkman come late?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
What do you call a milkman in the wild West?
A cowboy?
Speaker 1 (03:29):
John legend announced he will become a milkman. It will
be legendary.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Why did the milkman play basketball? He could always make
a half court.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
How does the milkman treat his children? He spoils them.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Where do milkshakes come from nervous cows?
Speaker 1 (04:11):
What do you call an expired milkshake a milkshake?
Speaker 2 (04:19):
In the US, my milkshake brings all the boys to
the yard. But in Europe, my milkshake brings all the
boys to the meter.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
What do you call a cow that survived an earthquake
a milkshake?
Speaker 2 (04:39):
They have milkshakes with whipped cream and cherries of Chick
fil A, but nothing more elaborate, otherwise they might have
to work on Sundays.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
I once had a cow with epilepsy. We called her milkshake.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
I had door Dash deliver some burger king and I
ordered a milkshake because why not. The door Dash guy
brought it to my door and it was good. Then
I realized my milkshake literally brought a boy to the yard.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
There was a stampede at the dairy farm today. It
was utter chaos.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
My buddy just got fired from a dairy farm for
being the worst employee they had ever seen. He was
a serious danger to himself and utters.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
I am planning a dairy startup looking for cow founders.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
When you are the cream of dairy inspectors, nothing gets pasteurized.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Lactose intolerant people handles some jokes, well, they're too cheesy.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
My wife keeps coming home with the wrong type of milk.
Turns out she's lactose incompetent.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
What do you get when you baptize a cow pasteurized milk.
I'm Bob Jeffy and I'm Montgomery Jones, and that's the
milky dad jokes for National Milk Day. We're on a
(06:41):
mission to spread the laughs and groans far and wide,
so please do us a favor and share just one
of these jokes with your family and friends today. Thanks.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Looking for more dad joke humor to share, subscribe to
our new weekly email newsletter. It's our weekly roundup of
the best dad jokes, memes, and humor for you to enjoy.
Spread the laughs and groans and sign up today. Check
the sign up link in the show notes page or
visit dailydadjokespodcast dot com. The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is
(07:18):
produced by Classic Studios. See the show notes page for
social media links and joke credits. This show was recorded
in front of a canned studio audience.
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