April 15, 2024 • 4 mins
Daily Dad Jokes (15 Apr 2024)
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Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes. Joke credits: EndersGame_Reviewer, ScotchSaveMe_Now, AquamarineCheetah, 808gecko808, jturker88, Uonlyy0L0_once, tankmax01, prlugo4162, Joel_Boyens, johnkorean, thedeathwaiter, Laez, , Masselein, Upvoter_NeverDie, iamfood, flippantteacup, Couldbeurmom, AllylTeapot, Sal_Mandeni, Jester57, troxosaurus
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Why are Sherlock Holmes taxes so low? He's a master
of deduction.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
How do Tuscan raiders cheat on their taxes? They always
single file to hide their numbers.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Why don't dogs pay taxes for their meals because they're
all under the table.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Ikea has been accused of evading over five hundred million
dollars in taxes. Apparently prosecutors have been after them for years,
but they're having a really hard time putting their case together.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Why did the Chocolate Chaps taxes get audited? The owner
had fudged the numbers.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
What do you call a bloodsuck tax specialist? Account? Dracula?
Speaker 1 (01:12):
What is it called when your tax bills so bad
it makes your face straight? Votex?
Speaker 2 (01:22):
I tried to pay the EU tax today, but they
don't accept checks.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Our pastor told us the importance of why one should
never misreport their earnings when filing for taxes. He told
us be wary of false profits.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
What do you call it when you make one hundred
and forty four dollars before taxes for scrubbing toilets? Gross income?
Speaker 1 (01:57):
How do you teach kids about taxes? Eight thirty eight
percent of their ice cream?
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Why don't naval shipyards have to pay taxes because they
are places of warship.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
We'll continue with more Dad humor after this quick pause.
I had an argument with my brother about tax policy. Unfortunately,
I lost my temper and things got fiscal.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
They just passed a law enacting a tax on wheelchair
bound people. Obviously they're not going to stand for this.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
How do crabs evade taxes? They set up shell corporations.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
The government is instituting a garbage bag tax. Some people
think it's too hefty, and others are glad. I think
the whole thing is trash.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Lady Goodaver rode nude though Coventry to protest taxes. It's
the naked truth.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
I had to pay a big import tax on my
new Honda. I know I shouldn't complain, though it was
my civic duty.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
After all, I once lived in a taxpayer funded gated community.
I was released for good behavior.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
I just went through a long audit at the IRS.
It was very taxing.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Why did the blind salesman get audited by the IRS?
His business operations were shady. I'm Bob Jeffy and I'm
Montgomery Jones, and that's the taxing Dad. Jokes for tax Deck.
We're on a mission to spread the laughs and groans
far and wide, so please do us a favor and
(04:03):
share just one of these jokes with your family and
friends today.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Thanks. Looking for more dad joke humor to share, then
subscribe to our new weekly email newsletter. It's our weekly
roundup of the best dad jokes, memes and humor for
you to enjoy. Spread the laughs and groans and sign
up today. Check the sign up link in the show
(04:28):
notes page or visit Daily dadjokespodcast dot com. The Daily
Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the
show notes page for social media links and joke credits.
This show was recorded in front of a canned studio audience.
Why are Sherlock Holmes taxes so low? He's a master
of deduction.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
How do Tuscan raiders cheat on their taxes? They always
single file to hide their numbers.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Why don't dogs pay taxes for their meals because they're
all under the table.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Ikea has been accused of evading over five hundred million
dollars in taxes. Apparently prosecutors have been after them for years,
but they're having a really hard time putting their case together.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Why did the Chocolate Chaps taxes get audited? The owner
had fudged the numbers.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
What do you call a bloodsuck tax specialist? Account? Dracula?
Speaker 1 (01:12):
What is it called when your tax bills so bad
it makes your face straight? Votex?
Speaker 2 (01:22):
I tried to pay the EU tax today, but they
don't accept checks.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Our pastor told us the importance of why one should
never misreport their earnings when filing for taxes. He told
us be wary of false profits.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
What do you call it when you make one hundred
and forty four dollars before taxes for scrubbing toilets? Gross income?
Speaker 1 (01:57):
How do you teach kids about taxes? Eight thirty eight
percent of their ice cream?
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Why don't naval shipyards have to pay taxes because they
are places of warship.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
We'll continue with more Dad humor after this quick pause.
I had an argument with my brother about tax policy. Unfortunately,
I lost my temper and things got fiscal.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
They just passed a law enacting a tax on wheelchair
bound people. Obviously they're not going to stand for this.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
How do crabs evade taxes? They set up shell corporations.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
The government is instituting a garbage bag tax. Some people
think it's too hefty, and others are glad. I think
the whole thing is trash.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Lady Goodaver rode nude though Coventry to protest taxes. It's
the naked truth.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
I had to pay a big import tax on my
new Honda. I know I shouldn't complain, though it was
my civic duty.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
After all, I once lived in a taxpayer funded gated community.
I was released for good behavior.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
I just went through a long audit at the IRS.
It was very taxing.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Why did the blind salesman get audited by the IRS?
His business operations were shady. I'm Bob Jeffy and I'm
Montgomery Jones, and that's the taxing Dad. Jokes for tax Deck.
We're on a mission to spread the laughs and groans
far and wide, so please do us a favor and
(04:03):
share just one of these jokes with your family and
friends today.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Thanks. Looking for more dad joke humor to share, then
subscribe to our new weekly email newsletter. It's our weekly
roundup of the best dad jokes, memes and humor for
you to enjoy. Spread the laughs and groans and sign
up today. Check the sign up link in the show
(04:28):
notes page or visit Daily dadjokespodcast dot com. The Daily
Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the
show notes page for social media links and joke credits.
This show was recorded in front of a canned studio audience.
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