The Olympics are over! A round up of the best Olympic dad jokes! 12 August 2024

Daily Dad Jokes (12 Aug 2024)

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Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes. Joke credits: subsailor1968, foodiegiggles, SelfishMentor, Top_Breakfast2992, Man-e-questions, DAngerDan, EndersGame_Reviewer, churchcod, Cannotsing, fireburner80, localgasgiant, AssociationSubject85, , Same_Garlic2928, Upbeat-Excitement-46, justmrmom, ThusSpokeGaba, prankerjoker, Chrono32123, Deplorable_username, robertgfthomas, BallsofSt33I

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
I'll go to the Olympics. I'll trick to the top
of the Eiffel Tower. I'll see the champ elyss But
I'm not getting in the water. No way, that would
be insane.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
What do Olympic runners eat before a race? Fast food?

Speaker 1 (00:26):
Why did the poop fail at the Olympic Triathlon in Paris?
He placed turret in the runs and stunk up all
of the other events.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
I wanted tickets to Olympic track cycling event. I asked
everyone I knew for tickets, but all anyone could do
is suggest someone else to ask. In the end, I
was just going round and round.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
So are all the various places they are holding the
Olympic Games technically parasites.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
At the Paris twenty twenty four Olympics, you would have
to be insane to swim in that river.

Speaker 1 (01:13):
A former Olympic high jumper hasn't been able to beat
the world record and it still keeps him up at night.
He just can't get over it.

Speaker 2 (01:30):
Why isn't origami in the Olympics The teams had to fold?

Speaker 1 (01:39):
Which international singer informs the Olympic long jump judges that
a competitor is scheduled to make an attempt do a LIPA.

Speaker 2 (01:50):
Pole vault is my favorite Olympic sport. It's so uplifting.

Speaker 1 (02:01):
Saw a guy walking around the Olympic village holding a
nine foot stick. I asked, are you a poll vaulter?
He responded, no, I'm German? And how did you know?
My name was Walter?

Speaker 2 (02:20):
The mayor of Paris swam in the lake to prove
it was safe for the Olympics despite high E. Coli levels.
That's insane.

Speaker 1 (02:32):
More dad jokes are coming up after this quick break.
My Olympic event is crossing from pub to the next.
It's the parallel bars.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
Why is sunbathing no longer an Olympic sport? Everyone just
kept getting bronze.

Speaker 1 (02:55):
I really enjoy hearing all of the national anthems played
at the Olympics. I love country music.

Speaker 2 (03:06):
Why were the Olympic athletes in Tokyo so hot because
fans were not allowed.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
If being lazy was an Olympic sport, I would come
in fourth place. I'm too lazy to walk to the
podium to get my medal.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
Watching the Olympics with my wife, she asked about the
girl on screen getting ready for her routine. Is she Russian?
To which I replied, no, she's taking her time.

Speaker 1 (03:52):
They were considering adding Hide and Seek to the twenty
twenty four Olympics, but good players were hard to find.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
Breaking the US Olympic track team has food poisoning. They
got the runs. One team member said, we left it
all on the field.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
At the Paris Olympics twenty twenty four. A Nigerian prince
has publicly apologized on behalf of their team for not
winning any gold medals and offered refund the tickets. He
said he just needed their bank details and pin codes.

Speaker 2 (04:36):
I'm Bob Jeffy.

Speaker 1 (04:38):
And I'm Montgomery Jones, and that's the Olympic sized Dad
jokes for today. We're on a mission to spread the
laughs and groans far and wide, so please do us
a favor and share just one of these jokes with
your family and friends today. Thanks looking for the gift

(04:59):
for Dad. We have the official Daily Dad Jokes Podcast
electronic joke button now available on Amazon, a massive five
hundred pre loaded dad jokes guaranteed to make you laugh
and groan. Check the show notes page for the link.
The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios.
See the show notes page for social media links and
joke credits. This show was recorded in front of a

(05:21):
canned studio audience.