Episode Transcript
My wife left me because I am insecure, no weight.
She's back. She just went to get coffee.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
My wife divorced me today, saying I was two an American.
I saw it coming a kilometer away.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
My buddy told me, man, my vacuum broke. It really blows.
I said, no, it sucks.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
What do you call a swimmer with no arms or legs? Bomb?
Speaker 1 (00:44):
What do you call a hole in the ground? You
own mine.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Whoever invented the shovel made a groundbreaking discovery.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Your bit won't tell you this, but if your dog
has a fever, give it some mustard. It's the best
thing for a hot dog.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
What does George Michael like to have with his stirfry well,
I guess it would be rice.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
What do computers eat for snacks? Microchips? One bite at
a time.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
What is an immigrant's favorite band? Foreigner?
Speaker 1 (01:40):
What physical part of the computer never stops working? The keyboard?
It has two shifts. We'll return with more laughs. Following
this short break.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
My niece calls me her ankle. I started calling her
my knees.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
What is a French person's favorite video game?
Speaker 2 (02:12):
We Prince Charming was the greatest song of the nineteen eighties.
I don't care what you think. It's a fact. I'm
at a man.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
My wife just told me that Tupperware has filed chapter eleven.
I told her to put a lid on it.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
A friend of mine only eats almonds. That's just nuts.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
This might go against the grain, but I hate wheat.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
What kind of pants does a psychic medium wear? Just
a pair of normal ants.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
The local theater is doing a show about puns. It's
a play on words. I'm Bob Jeffy and I'm Montgomery Jones.
Wait for the bonus joke at the end of the episode.
We're on a mission to spread the laughs and groans
far and wide, So help us by sharing a joke
(03:25):
with your family and friends today. Looking for more dad
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and groans and sign up today. Check the sign up
(03:47):
link in the show notes page or visit Daily dadjokespodcast
dot com. The Daily Dad Jokes Podcast is produced by
Classic Studios. See the show notes page for social media
links and joke credits. This show was recorded in front
of a canned studio audience. How does an attorney sleep?
(04:08):
First he lies on one side, then he lies on
the other side.
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