Why wouldn't Elmer Fudd rob the liquor store? (+ 18 more dad jokes!)

Daily Dad Jokes (01 May 2025)

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Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes.

Joke credits: houndoom92, Left-Distribution-13, EssentialParadox, GiborDesign, ilikesidehugs, VordovKolnir, IthinkIknowwhothatis, Jesse_Bitchman, Barraken, H-DaneelOlivaw, Longjumping-Bend9448, Cupcakesweetyy, , DinglebarryHandpump, Sad_Refrigerator3, RecognitionHonest320, DinglebarryHandpump, tryH4rdCookie, RecognitionHonest320, dadjokeschannel

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands,
clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I
was on the mothership.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
My girlfriend was looking at buying a pear tree and
said they can grow eighteen to twenty feet. I said,
I'd prefer if it grew peirs.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
SCUBA stands for self contained underwater breathing apparatus, But did
you know TUBA is also an acronym for terrible underwater
breathing apparatus.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
The day after my surgery, the nurse walked in and said,
I'm here to change your dressing. I'm like, thank god,
this vinaigrette sucks. What country has the worst music? Singapore?

(01:10):
What do you call a lion whose car breaks down
ten kilometers before he reached the zoo? A taxi?

Speaker 1 (01:21):
You are an American when you enter a bathroom and leave,
but while in the bathroom European.

Speaker 2 (01:31):
Why wouldn't Elmer Fudd rob the liquor store? It was
too whiskey.

Speaker 1 (01:37):
A horse groomer was worried about being laid off. I
told him, don't worry about it. You have stable income.

Speaker 2 (01:50):
What do you call someone who's bad at reading minds? Telepathetic?

Speaker 1 (01:58):
After a few weeks of trying. If just told me
she's pregnant, she has the worst stutter ever. Laughter continues.
Shortly after this brief ad.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
Break, someone removed two panes of glass from my Kia
last night. They were the windows to my soul and
getting ready for the new month. At work, I went
to tear April off of my desk calendar. I accidentally
tore off two months. I am so dismayed. I burnt

(02:39):
my Hawaiian pizza the other night. I should have put
it on a Loha setting.

Speaker 1 (02:50):
I turned over a new leaf today. The Nissan dealership
was not happy.

Speaker 2 (03:00):
Chris Martin fell into a vat of custard and he
was all yellow.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball one on one?

Speaker 2 (03:23):
What type of sandpaper do dogs use? Rough I'm Bob Jeffy.

Speaker 1 (03:34):
And I'm Montgomery Jones. Stay with us until the end
of the episode for a bonus joke. We're on a
mission to spread the laughs and groans far and wide.
Help us out by sharing these jokes with your family
and friends today. Looking for the gift for Dad, We

(03:55):
have the official Daily Dad Jokes podcast Electronic joke button
now available on Amazon a massive five hundred preloaded dad
jokes guaranteed to make you laugh and groan. Check the
show notes page for the link. The Daily Dad Jokes
podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the show notes

(04:16):
page for social media links and joke credits. This show
was recorded in front of a canned studio audience. I dig,
you dig, We dig? She did, he did they dig.
It's not a beautiful poem, but it's very deep.