Episode 59: Victory Lap

Hey everyone! Today we celebrate Dylan the Graphics Guy for his amazing performance during the Big Game...okay maybe not performance, he just made some crazy bets that hit. Also we get into what happened to Bad Larry and Shea and why they didn't match up to Dylan during Sunday's big game. Enjoy

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
This is Dan Patrick takes a gap gambling. There's something
that I did a clever way to circumvent Dan actually
making bets himself by using a proxy, and I became
consumed by it and now joined by bad Larry and
Dylan the graphics guy. Here's Dan Patrick. Uh. Time for

(00:22):
Dylan to take a victory laugh. How about a round
of applause for what he That was an incredible display
at the super Bowl. Dylan, congratulations. I'm kind of at
a loss for words to be honest. Then. Oh no, yeah,
that's odd, that's rare. That's the only thing you're at

(00:42):
a loss at. Okay, yeah, I have Dylan. NFL playoffs
thirties six point to five units. You won thirty four
point to five units on the super Bowl. That's an
old time record. Yeah, bad Larry. Let's see lost six
units on the Super Bowl. He's minus fourteen for the playoffs,

(01:05):
and Shay lost eight and a half units on the
Super bowls seven and a half. The whole thing was
a coin. This ship is easy. Yeah, okay, say we
both lost the coins. There will never be another octopus.
Great peck. He had a doint and the gatorade. Okay,

(01:26):
so recapping, Dylan, you had the chiefs of the money line,
coin toss Mahomes, super Bowl MVP, Gatorade to be purple,
any kick hitting the crossbar upright, an octopus, which is
a touchdown in a two point conversion, Hassan Reddick under
point five, a quarter of a sack. I mean that's incredible. Well, Dan,

(01:49):
you're you're you're breathing past the real winner, which is
I won both cornhole bets. Oh yeah, Cheyenne Boubenheim. I
had to dig through Instagram to find out who won
that ship too. Okay, yeah, that was plus two hundred.
Uh yeah, but that was looking at it now, all
laid out in front of me, that is like the

(02:11):
dumbest thing. I can't believe all of those things that
the doink, I have to say, of all of them,
that dot was the sweetest joint. He fucking drilled the
up It wasn't even close. We erupted when we're watching it.
I go joint, And if people didn't know what I
was celebrating, I go, no. A guy bet that they
were going to hit the upright, which and it's kind

(02:32):
of like it's kind of focused. It was plus four
fifty that seems like that should be longer oddes, like
if an octopus is plus four, that's probably more likely
to happen, or like a safety is like plus a thousand. Well,
congratula sha recapping. Uh, it started bad with the coin
toss heads. I should know. I should be able to

(02:53):
find out who was actually flipping the coin instead of
the ref I should know that who the person is
so I can look him up, run my numbers, do
my situational math, social security number. Yeah, it's bullshit that
I didn't know that was the awful coin toss. It
was rude. And then considerate the over on the national anthem.
Get that like a Northern Uh you got that one,

(03:14):
Hassan Reddick. I can't believe they didn't show up, not
a single sack after that year they had. I know,
I know. Let's see what else did you lose? Tumble
to be lost in the second half for safety to
be recorded, either team kicks a game winning feet. I
missed that by three seconds. Bullshit, that's not a low
that I that should count as a game which should

(03:37):
its supposed to be a walk off? Yes, that's a
fucking walk on X amount of second, sir, yeah, yeah,
the other ones here, Jalen Hurts, win d m V
p uh gronk hit the field. Some of them bitch
And that wasn't even lie. What was that? That was
so weird? It was It was lame as hell. Yeah,
it was Lane. That was like then Michael Phelps racing

(03:59):
the Shark. Yeah, you're right right bad Larry. You want
to recap you had the over in the Anthem. I
had the over. I lost the coin to us first
time in about five years. I lost that, and it
was downhill from that. I lost both. I lost. I
thought the Eagles were gonna win the game. So I
lost the Eagles and I lost the under. I thought
that Philip Phillies would show up a little bit a little.

(04:21):
I didn't have anything. I want all four of my
prop bets anytime touchdown scores Hurts and Kelsey. They were
the first two touchdowns, by the way, and then Overhearst
rushing yards and over Davante Smith's receiving yards. They were
They were easy. But I lost the two big bets.
Ten years ago, I would have lost ten grand on
the Super Bowl. I got out of here. I got
out of here pretty easy this year. Yeah, with being

(04:44):
on the wrong side of both big bets. Yeah, well
once again, Dylan, an incredible, incredible performance, and you know what,
you proved that regular Sea You're like Mahomes regular season
m VP and you were super boyling. I wasn't slowing down.
I also, I think in the playoffs, I Quinn tuppled
my regular season total. So in one week I was

(05:05):
able to that one week again, no never, and it
was it was all bullshit beds too, like the imagine
if you were in Veagua. Oh, I know, I wish
you could. I wish you could parlay those like the
novelty props to the Super Bowl, the amount of drugs
purchased after that, and I don't not everybody you know

(05:28):
celebrates the way you celebrate. Everybody in this room does.
You guys are drinking white Claw, like, yeah, you're not badasses.
You're drinking white Claws day. This is literally before lunch.
Pretty bad as white claw. Yeah, okay, uh bad Larry. Uh.

(05:52):
You know the guys still want you know, I want
to see you in person here. What happened to Providence?
I will I will be in Milford at noon on
Saturday morning. I'm doing that I'll be gone, but you
tell us we can't prepare, Larry, you do this today Thursday, Saturday.
I smell fear. Larry's at home practicing the Wonderlick test.

(06:15):
I don't even know what that is. By the way,
God damn it, I got a twelve again. No, I'm
gonna ask wonder like the questions do you guys while
you're drinking, and then we'll see, we'll tabulate those things.
But it's not gonna happens. You know it's not gonna happens.
It's not Larry. Do you know what a zoom? Yeah? Okay,

(06:36):
all right, maybe you zoom with this one time. I
announced a month ago is going to the Providence Games February.
You guys are all going to come to Providence. You
now to bring back the nine team, the fiftieth anniversary
of the Final four team. It's gonna be a big
thing in Providence. Two weeks ago, you guys are both common.
Now you're not coming, all right, Larry. See it doesn't

(06:57):
feel so good, does it. There's plenty of people going,
so you will be missed a little bit, especially after
the octopus Dan. I can't believe we only gave him
fourteen to one on the same guy has to score
the two point conversion, not just a conversion. It should

(07:20):
have been fifty to one. By the way, again, by
the way, you you did bring this up last week,
and there were a lot of people who responded that
you said you could throw a golf ball hundred and
twenty yards and then you said, well that was forty
years ago, right, How how far can you which had
nothing to do with anything other than you bragging about yourself.

(07:43):
I don't know, we were talking about your throne, I know,
but you just happened the day before. I was concerned
about your arm, Dann. That's all I do know. You
worked yourself into pat yourself on the back, that's all
you did. Prepared for that. Yeah, yeah, that was just
we're just having a little conversation, Dan. No, you weren't prepared.
I mean, that's just who you are. Larry. It's like,
how can I pat myself on the back? And you did?

(08:06):
How far can you throw a ball? Larry? How how
far can you throw a golf ball? Now? Right now? Today?
What did I just say? Right now, right now, right now? Yeah?
Go outside? How far can you throw a golf ball?
I go fifty, will start at fifty. Oh well that

(08:27):
nobody cares about that. I smell an olympiad coming on
the drinking Wonderlick Golf golf ball by Pumpkin Regatta. Ing, Yeah,
Larry would be the best at Pumpkin Regatta. I'm taking Larry.
We should do a Pumpkin Carvon conn We are, we
got we got bets this week. You guys got something? Okay?

(08:49):
All right, Dylan, I'll let you start. What do you
want to bet on? Um? What do I want to
bet on it? All right? The Genesis? Yeah, the l
A Open, the l A Open at at a Riviere.
Uh um. I'm taking Rom and Justin Thomas both to
finish top five plus nine hundred. J T is good
at Riviera and Rom has been playing pretty lights out golf.

(09:11):
And then this is s JM is my new Justin
Thomas from last year or I'm pretty much just gonna
bet on him until he wins this season. So s
J plus three thousand to win. I think that's bad.
Larry's favorite golfer. Could you give him my sent in
this morning? You sent it to all of us, you idiot.

(09:32):
That's the thing from I just responded to that one, Larry,
you do know in that text thread that's not just Ray.
Everybody gets to see it. So those those those lude
pictures you've been putting in there, Yeah, picture day. Ray
gets that, but it goes to everybody else as well.
Literally nobody else sends their picks in the threat except
just you. Yeah. I like it though, Larry, All right,

(09:53):
what else do you have dealing? Um? So I'm going
to Montreal this weekend and the Canadians are not playing
in Montreal this weekend, but they're playing in Toronto. They're
playing the Leaves. I figured, if I'm gonna be in
the uh, you know, America's hat, I may as well
take the Canadians money line. I don't know what the
line is yet because it's on Saturday, but whatever it is,
Canadian straight up, they sucked. The Leaves are good. It's

(10:17):
my bread and butter. Say what do you betting on? Basketball? Baby? Okay?
Texas State plus four and a half against app State,
uh terps plus one and a half revenge game against
Purdue taus and minus seven and a half against Delaware.
Delaware sucks Liberty minus five and a half. It's Kenna
Saw State now this is this is one if the
number was and it used to do you know you're

(10:37):
betting on against Kennesaw State. So the number used to
be six and a half, right, it was six and
a half and half down to five and a half.
I think the six is the number. So I'm laying
the five and a half and trying the middle of
sons of bitches. This is gonna work out, Danny classic
and big brain, big brain, and liberty is never lost

(10:58):
to Kennesaw State. Letting you tell me that? Now? Now
I'm gonna lose who? How is that line moved at all? Like?
No one is? I don't know who would go? Oh man,
well let me see what am I gonna bet? She's
betting from fifty different accounts, tomping on it? Right? All right,
bad Larry, what are you betting on? I guess the
whole world has these picks. I didn't realize I sent
him out. Top twenties, um in that genesis open, Patrick can'tile,

(11:27):
Max Holman, Homer there one units each, then top tens,
John Ram and Justin Thomas. Wow, I wonder how Dylan
came up with us? And I know you're gonna jump
on this I have three units on tire to miss

(11:48):
the cut. I I do like that, but we already
have too much in common this week, Larry, I can't
do it. Yeah, it's called that's true. I mean, Tiger
is probably most likely gonna miss what we would we're
gonna be doing after this. What you guys are gonna
still want to get together and bet because college basketball
boxing that? Ok? Yeah, um there were there's actually this

(12:09):
new game where it's not new, it's it's old. But
we just rediscovered on DraftKings called the Rocket dan Um,
which we just showed Shay and I think probably ruined
has already ruined life. I'm guessing all I'm gonna do.
It's all I'm gonna do. What's the rocket? So it's
basically you wager ever much you want and then this
rocket takes off literally rocket, and it just goes up

(12:31):
by multiplier one, two, three, four, and it will explode
to any points that could be a thousand times. It
could explode at one, but you have to bail before
it explodes, and then whatever you bail at is what
you're multiplied by. And it's, uh, it's pretty lethal. So
we might do uh do a little video action of
all of us playing the rocket. I uh, picture day.

(12:51):
Ray just brought it up for me. There it's it's electric.
Just looks like it could be addicting. Oh yeah, that's
what the kids are gonna. Ready take off and there
we go blasting off it already blew up, blew up
at one dollars down the drain. Yeah did you just
bet on that? Okad of Thanks for the show, but

(13:14):
really and then every yeah, like she said, everything, we
got March Madness coming Oscar. I think we should will
do an Oscar special. Yeah, but I don't think Larry
sees very many movies. All right, Larry, just pick good
Will Hunting. No, I'm up for the Oscar I have.
I have a source of pretty good at that don't

(13:34):
group Texas. Yeah, if they're from Jersey, I don't want
to hear it. Do not send us your picks. Then
if you don't want these guys to see them, just
send it, you know, separate to Ray. That's what I
will do. It was this morning I was selling back.
When I got the text that we hadn't sent him
in yet, I just did him lying in bed, and
then I just responded to the text. Yeah, poor Ray

(13:55):
over here. I'm just envisioning you in bed, righty. Do
you sleep with the Budweiser? How does that work? Do
you put it next to? It? Was? Actually, it was
actually on the nightstanding. That's honestly, Larry. That's half half
full of drink on the nightstand every time you do

(14:15):
a great layer. I didn't want to throw it when
I was going with the bed around one o'clock last night.
This morning actually, and I cast it up, and I
don't think I took another sip of but I just
put it on a nightstand and then fell asleep, just
to keep you warm. Yeah, it's like a friend. Yeah,
when you like your baby blanket, your nippy little little

(14:35):
pacive fire, got your budget, your little buddy, it comes
with the top on it. Yeah. All right, well, Larry,
thank you and good luck this weekend up at Providence.
You're all the mater and uh word, Dan will stop
where I think we're hitting Milford around I'm gonna say
a little before noon, so I might have to have
one or two in uh seven sees before the rest

(14:59):
of the trip, all right, uh shay and irving. Nobody cares.
I probably won't be around now. Yeah, okay and out.
Yeah yeah, send a group text down Shay an Irving podcast.
As we continue, we start we unveiling new new year here. Yeah. Yeah,

(15:22):
we're doing a DJ of the week to start the
h the monthly voting. Okay, see how we go from there? Okay,
anything else that we need to know about Shay and
Irving podcast available wherever you get your podcast. Yeah, it's
getting weird in the off season, you know, we start
breaking boundaries and talking outside of the box a little bit. Okay,
it's been a good d gen run that I'd like

(15:44):
to submit the spy balloon for djen of the Year.
So far, not a spible loop, Please don't shoot. People
have asked me what who does Shay remind me of?
And I said, well, the guy will be singing the
anthem at the super Stapleton Yeah, oh man, what a hero.
How about that? Yeah, there's a Chris Stapleton field to you.

(16:06):
I'll take that. You let the hair rage a little bit. Yeah, yeah,
I don't know if he's got a hippie a tattoo
across his uh his belly. No, he probably done the coward. Sure,
what what is that tattoo? Say? Says Born and bread.
Of course it does not outlaw. No, no, you not

(16:28):
like I got a good friend of mine though, that
has a one that says honky. Just he stole that
for me. You can get that as a chess piece.
And Dylan got another tattoo. It's like from where is it? Yeah?
Here right? Um the cover of Fear and Loathing. It's

(16:51):
just a cactus with the bat Yeah okay, um just
random yeah, like like he gets bored and then him
and Mario went Mario Mario got a Porto Rican flag
tattoo and trying to the tattoo artist and giving him
a Texas flage. How long he notices get boarding tattoos
happening to But he got a tattoo. It's around his bicep.

(17:15):
You can't see it here. It's it's on the back
side of it, And I go, what do you what
are you doing? When he goes, well, you know, in
case I go to a job interview, like they're going
to get a caffee search. Take here, take your take
your clothes off before you got a job. Maria is
the first Puarto Rican guy with a Porto Rican really
just qualified bad. Larry didn't have any tattoos, right, no, no, ink,

(17:39):
we may have to do it. We may have to
do a tattoo until your hair is already purple from
one of your mistakes. It actually it's actually turning a
weird bronze color because the bad Larry. Next year, how
about loser gets a tattoo in the NFL regular seats.

(18:00):
I like it. No, I'm not gonna know. That's too
big of a risk. Stand I think I'm gonna lose.
You clearly do, Larry. I don't need a tattook, so
you don't bet on yourself, No one needs. Do you
need to drink? I was gonna say, let's do a
sober bet then yeah, yeah, no Budweiser for months? Ye

(18:20):
that or tattoo you pick. Oh that's tough getting some
tattoo on my I thought, So there's no way that
Larry could go a week without bud Yeah, no way. Yeah,
how about you can get him? And said, oh, why
don't you do with the dry January stuff? I said,
why doesn't make any sense to me. I'm waiting till

(18:43):
everybody's together. I just think it'll be a pretty emotional moment.
We'll blow it out. Yeah, we yeah, we're gonna go.
We got a bar that we're gonna go to that's
right by an airport, and so you can leave if
you need to. Larry, we're gonna see if if we can,
if we can go in there and record my podcast,
Let's Joke Again, So I'm on for that. Okay, Shay

(19:04):
and Irving's podcast wherever you get your podcast, and we'll
talk to you next week on Dan Patrick Takes Again.
He love you all,