June 27, 2024 • 43 mins
This week we meet a very special main dater, Ane, who loves other-worldly genders and dancing and just happens to be one of Vico’s partners. In this episode, Abuelita Liliana learns more about polyamory from Ane and the contestants. She adds some vocabulary words to her tool belt; “Siri…define metamours, Siri…define compersion”. Our two beloved hosts certainly don't always see eye to eye when it comes to dating, and that is very obvious in this episode. They talk about different ways to seek connection, and watch OUT, we are talking about attachment styles this episode! We meet 3 contestants who are well versed in polyamory and kink. The contestants play “Acronyms”, where they have to text their way into Liliana's heart and play the classic “Never Have I Ever”. Our main dater goes head to head with Liliana about the outcome of the cafecitos. What will win in the end; a modern day poly love story or Abuelita’s “one true love” style romance?
Music Credit: Nargo - "Rhythm of Samba" via Jamendo.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Alida, you know how you've been learning lots of new
words over the past two seasons of the podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
It's a new word every week.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
I've learned grinder, boy, pussy, yes, and I had to
learn about polyamory from the beginning of season one.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
Exactly. Yes, I hear you, Awida.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
I want to teach you another word that is really
important for me.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Well, what is it?
Speaker 4 (00:31):
The word today is compersion.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
It kind of sounds like a way to fix the
kitchen sink, not really, so.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Compersion is the word for feeling joy or contentment, for
a partner's excitement, especially around them dating other people. Some
people like to think of compersion as an antidote to jealousy.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Can you use it in a sentence?
Speaker 4 (00:55):
Absolutely?
Speaker 5 (00:55):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
So when I see my partner meeting a new cutie
and being excited about a new crush, I am always
happy to notice compersion in myself. That's same excitement. Like
I see them excited and I'm like, oh, I'm excited
for you in with you?
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Wow? What does that have to do with today's episode?
Speaker 4 (01:14):
All right, So I'm gonna answer the episode and then
I'm gonna give you a pitch. So check this out.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
This is day My hourly, the first where our incredible
AI Daily Leanna plays matchmaker for one lucky main dater.
She's gonna sort through three stellar contestants before sending one
of them off on a one on one date with
our star dater. I am your host, Vico Ortiz, joined
by the hilarious AI Dai Leana Monte.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
You ready for my pitch out of the park? Do
it all right?
Speaker 1 (01:45):
So we learn about compersion today because I was thinking,
what if.
Speaker 4 (01:51):
One of my partners comes on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Your partner Annie, the very one. Well, I have a
lot of questions.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Now, well, I think Anna wants to join in on
the fun and I can find joy in.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Their joy some very very compression.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
We're talking about.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
That compression we're talking about.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
If you really want to try it? Well, this is
absolutely yes. No one deserves more love. Everyone does. Everyone does.
Thank you so much for that. Should I go ahead
and intro Annie? Oh please do?
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Let's go.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
Today's main dat looking for a connection and being guided
by dear Abuilita is my partner Annie. Anna is back
and forth from Puerto Rico and La but moving to
La full time very very soon with their puppy it's.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
A very very in there.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Yes, they are a sagitarious sun, cancer, rising, porest moon,
and perhaps most intriguingly, Venus and Scorpio. While Scorpio Venuses
have a reputation of being very intense and passionate, often
secret of and possessive. Anna says they have found ways
(03:03):
to practice devotion even in polyamorous structures devotion.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Well, lucky you, Vico.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
Oh yeah, lucky me.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Indeed, Anna loves to move and dances vogue and ballroom.
They process their emotions through movements, so their body is
often the first point of understanding something they are experiencing.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
And they're attracted to big personalities.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Exhibit A Exactly, That's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
So, Vicot, what connections is Anna looking for right now?
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Or should I just wait to ask them?
Speaker 4 (03:38):
Yeah, let's just ask Anna.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Absolutely, let's do it.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
All right, baby, come on in. Oh my god, Well, Anna,
I am gonna actually take a true back seat in
this episode. This is gonna be about you and you
and Awilita. You know, I might have some idea of
what type of people you're interested in, but I I
(04:00):
really want Aita to have the full deep dive.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
We are going to get into the nitty gritty of things. Annie,
tell me, how are you today, my.
Speaker 6 (04:07):
Love, Hiawatha, I'm good. I'm so excited to be here
with y'all.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Now, let's talk a little bit about those that you
are attracted to, and if you can just define for
our elitea this word that has come up again in
my dictionary, tea for tea.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
I love that that's in your dictionary.
Speaker 6 (04:29):
What he thought, well, tea fort is like when the
relationships are like two trans people loving on each other.
And I am really here for a tea for tea connection.
I'm really attracted to people who knows what they want
and kind of express it. And also I talk a lot,
so I kind of like people who can deep dive
(04:51):
into like conversations about what they love and what they.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Like so you can get to know what they are about.
Speaker 6 (04:57):
Yes, and I love seeing people be passionate and like
do what they love to do in a very passionate way.
That really turns me on.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
So, yeah, you're a passionate person.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
I am very passionate.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Now, how do you navigate polyamory and tell me about that?
Speaker 2 (05:13):
How did it start for you?
Speaker 6 (05:15):
I don't have like a point where I was like, oh,
I'm polyamorous. I feel like I learned the languish while
I was living life. But I've always felt the capacity
to have romantic feelings for more than one person, and
that has always been my case. I didn't always know
that what that was possible, or that it was called polyamory.
(05:36):
So I think like maybe in my early twenties, when
I started reading about it and other people started like
making community out of it, that I was like, Oh,
this is possible.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
I'm not crazy, cute, There's a place for everyone.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Yes, absolutely, Yeah.
Speaker 6 (05:52):
So for me, it was more like of a realization
that I was not alone, and I thankfully found guy
and community to do it in a sustainable way.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
There's one more word. I want to know a little
bit more about poly saturation.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
What is that.
Speaker 6 (06:08):
Police Saturation is like when you have more connections that
you actually have capacity for and it's not sustainable to
you and it can lead to burn out.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
So what do you do at that point take a break? Well?
Speaker 6 (06:25):
I try not to get to that point, Okay, but
that was a learning curve because I did get to
that point at one point in my life and I
had to basically restructure my relationships around the capacity that
I did have, and that led to breakups definitely. But
right now I'm really being very intentional and like, that's
why I haven't been dating.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
So this is fun.
Speaker 6 (06:47):
So hello, hello, thank you for coming in. Baby, I
haven't been dating anyone new.
Speaker 4 (06:56):
Excuse me? Who am I?
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Then? Vico?
Speaker 3 (07:00):
This is so funny. Let's find out. How is it
that the two of you met? Come on you good?
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Jump in?
Speaker 4 (07:06):
Well, they slid into my DMS.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
First, I believe you had a partner when we first
started talking over DMS?
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Did I did?
Speaker 1 (07:15):
And then a little bit halfway through that you then
had a partner and also a boyfriend.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
Lockdown happened.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
I started to do a lot of performances online as
a drag king, and one of them became really viral
and Puerto Rico and a couple of folks reposted that video.
And then Anna saw me in that video and was like.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Who's this cuty and started following me.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
And I was around the same time listening to a
band in Puerto Rico. It was like a folkloric type
of music around feminism and inclusivity. And Anna was in
that band and I was listening to their music, and
they had already been following me on Instagram, and in
one of my posts on my stories, I'm like making
breakfast and I have their music in the background, and
(07:59):
they being like, hey, I'm in that band, and I'm like,
oh my gosh, and I follow them back and we
started to have a bit of a flirty conversation for
about a year or so, all through dms on Instagram.
And when we met, you had gone through a breakup,
you were still with the boyfriend, and this is so interesting,
(08:21):
and we had a really great and deep connection, and
I was like, I really like this person. I don't
just want to have a fun weekend with them. I
would like to keep exploring this and see where it
goes because they feel really good.
Speaker 4 (08:32):
And then you know, here we are.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
What is it that you want now?
Speaker 6 (08:37):
I'm not fixed in any type of connection right now.
I just know I have the capacity to have a
friend or a date or like a boyfriend, girlfriend, partner,
like the whole spectrum.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
What are your red flags? Things that you do not
want to see in the person and you start a friendship.
Speaker 6 (08:54):
With I don't like when people are not curious or like,
don't ask me questions like I like to talk, as
I said, and I ask a lot of questions, and
for me, it's a turn off with someone it's like
talking about themselves but are not really interested in the
other person that they're talking to. Another red flag I
think would be someone who is not present, are like
(09:17):
always like distructed by everything, and they're not present in
the moment.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Intentionality definitely.
Speaker 6 (09:23):
So yeah, not being present and not being curious, I
think it lack of intentionality, so.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
They don't want to be there.
Speaker 6 (09:32):
Yeah, well, so I like to feel that they want
to meet me.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Are you ready?
Speaker 4 (09:37):
I am ready?
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Are you already? Oh so ready? So so ready? All right,
thank you Annie.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
Thank you, and more.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
We're going to bring three contestants for a Wilita to
connect with on your behalf fingers crossed. By the end
of this you have found someone you feel drawn too.
I feel like this is the first episode where I
am as excited as.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
The main date.
Speaker 7 (10:02):
Conversion.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Yes, absolutely, I'm very very start to meet these contestants.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Already, get to it. Yeah, more delays, listen.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
Now let's bring in our contestants. We'll be back after
the break. Welcome back today, Mia.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Wani The first, okay, let's meet all of you. First up,
Saint Saint is interested in fire and air signs. To them,
that signifies people who take up space, which is true, Yes,
to those big personalities.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
Their red flags are monogamy, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Other red flags are any type of reductionism and people
who don't like kids or animals. They are interested in
fluid connections, especially physical connections, and not looking for heavy
expectations from someone They love a hot mom and people
who are invested in community listen same.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
They are a sage, sun, venus and Mars with a
scorpiostelium sprinkled in there. Oh my god, that hum Welcome, Welcome.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Saint Hot. Okay, we're going to get back to that
one absolutely.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Next up, we have a Chandler handler grew up in
LA and took some years living in other places and
is now excited to be back.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
In Los Angeles.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Yes, they have been getting involved in community more, especially
with other leather dykes.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
And kink community hot.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Their green flags are communication, opened miners and people knowing
their boundaries and limits.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Yes, that is so hot.
Speaker 4 (11:45):
They are especially attracted to people that look like they could.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Kill them a little bit hell, yeah, a little bit,
just a little bit, just a little dangerous, yes.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
And then bring you back to life.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
Hello Chandler, Hello, how's it going? So so good? I'm
gonna send with these bios las.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
But not certainly Lee's show read last time show Wee
was a contestants, we didn't get to hear their polly wisdom.
And I'm very excited because this episode is all about that.
He believes informing relationships because they are life sustaining and
not because anyone feels obligated to another.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
Yes, they love talking.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
About people's no skip albums and are attractive to folks
who are into the earth. They want to hear about
how you are preparing for the apocalypse, and they have
some skills that will.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
Come in handy for it. Okay, noted, Welcome show Weird.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Hello, Hello, Hello contestants. It's so nice to meet you all.
What a treat. Absolutely is right.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
It is such a treat to have you all here today.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
So usually I wait until later in the episode to
reveal some surprises, but this is a special episode, so
I wanted to let you.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
In on a little secret about our main dat.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
But first, before I get into that, I wanted to
add a little bit more definitions.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Listen, my dictionary is a little bit out of control
this morning.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Okay, what is it?
Speaker 4 (13:13):
Okay, this is an important one.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
So there is a word for someone's partner's partner. Does
any of you wise contestants want to provide that word
for what?
Speaker 7 (13:24):
Eat?
Speaker 4 (13:24):
That's saying to go for it?
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Metamore beautiful, exactly a metamore.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Everybody was like, yes, we all know this. Everybody raised
their hands. I just saw saints first. And it's an
important word today because actually I could be a metamor
to one of you after today's episode, because the main
dat is my partner is my partner.
Speaker 4 (13:48):
I'm not going to say their names just yet, almost
like I was about to say it.
Speaker 5 (13:52):
I know.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
It's almost like if the episode is like date my
public here first. But normally but not always, when you
meet someone who's polyamorous, who has an salvage relationship, you
meet that partner a ka the metamore a little bit
down the line. But in this case they get to
meet me right off the bat.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
You all are very brave today, but also you get
to have fun.
Speaker 4 (14:13):
Yes, absolutely, it's gonna be a fun time.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
So with that said, let's just go ahead and play
the first game.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Let's do it beca Now enough with the definitions. Oh yes,
we're gonna We're gonna pull it off of dizzy rhine. Now, yeah, I.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
Got you, I got you.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
We've been learning a lot of new words today, so
we're gonna play a little bit of never have I Ever?
Speaker 4 (14:34):
I mean, it's a classic for a reason. So here's
how we're gonna play. We're gonna list out something like this,
never have I ever had sex at work?
Speaker 1 (14:44):
And if you have done so, you'll respond by telling
us the story of what happened.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
And make the stories juicy.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
Yes, we want that much. We want that juice. Well,
with that, I know that was a really great example.
But here's the actual first. Never have I ever?
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Never have I ever crossed state lines for a date?
Speaker 7 (15:07):
Show?
Speaker 4 (15:07):
Eeet, did you cross state lines?
Speaker 6 (15:09):
I have?
Speaker 5 (15:10):
But I feel like New York to New Jersey is
a joke, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
It's basically like a question, Oh my gosh, amazing. Okay,
I have another one.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Never have I ever made an enemy out of someone's mom,
family member, or sibling.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
Well, that's a rough one. Tandler what's your story.
Speaker 8 (15:29):
It's less about like the fight itself and more about
how she confronted me that I think is funny. But
I used to facilitate a class in college and one
of the students had a disagreement with her facilitator of
her class. Somehow her mom got my phone number, and
I was like, I was also a college radio DJ,
so I'm like on air. I think it's like eleven
at night, and I get a phone call from like
(15:51):
a random number, so I'm like, who can this be?
So I pick it up and it's this woman who
is yelling at me, and I'm like trying to DJ.
So then I'm just like, okay, I gotta find a
ten minute song. So I put the ten minute song.
I'm like trying to like.
Speaker 4 (16:05):
Bring it back down.
Speaker 8 (16:07):
She was really angry, and I was like, what the
hell is happening here? I don't know your daughter, I
don't know the conflict.
Speaker 4 (16:15):
Oh that is wild? What about you saying?
Speaker 9 (16:19):
There was Once I was a he ate in a
fifth grade class and one of my students, who later
I came to understand, was closeted, but at the time
tor raging homophobe was parents were super homophobic, and during
school time I would talk to him about you know
why you don't do stuff like that, you don't think
and say things like this, and it was clicking for
him and he was changing over time. And at some
(16:41):
point his mom told the school to tell me to
stop talking to him about queer people.
Speaker 7 (16:47):
And then she avoided me after that.
Speaker 9 (16:48):
She wouldn't say bye to me anymore, and had a
lot of aggression.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
She didn't even have the nerve to stand up and
tell you herself, Wow.
Speaker 7 (16:58):
But our kid is gay. Son.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
I feel bad for the kid.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
No, I don't agree with that, and I will eat
us take note. I will let us do not agree
with that, and mama get out of the way.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Next one.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
Never have I ever used the kitchen appliants or object
doing sex.
Speaker 5 (17:20):
I've used you know, the thing that you have for
a milk frother, you know, the like handheld ones.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
I use that.
Speaker 5 (17:26):
Yeah, I was having sex in the kitchen and as
you do, love as I do. Yeah, And I have
like a little section for you know, my little macho
vibe whatever whatever, So you have all the little objects, yes,
And then the person I was fucking grabbed the little
floss and you sit on my chest on their chest. Yeah,
because it's like kind of intense but like not painful.
So yeah, it was great. It was great.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Oh my bumps are just standing up straight.
Speaker 4 (17:52):
That's brilliant. I'm taking notes on that one.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Yes they are, Yes they are.
Speaker 8 (17:56):
I'm clearly looking at my father right now.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
I'm like, no family members to listen to this show,
all right, Saint tell.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Us there's a counter account account, yes, Chandler. Any creative
usage of kitchen or objects, not really, I mean.
Speaker 8 (18:16):
The closest would probably be like nitrial gloves, which I
I mean I use them for like multi purposes, absolutely
great for safer sex practices and not LATEX.
Speaker 4 (18:25):
So correct correct correct?
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Oh, I love next one.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
Never have I ever dated a friend's partner, Go ahead
to it.
Speaker 5 (18:33):
I would love for my friends to date my partner.
I feel like I already know they're great. I already
really appressed them. We already have this really great relationship.
Like I want my friends to be happy. I know
my partner is bomb, Like look at that, and like
I have a lot of friends where I'm like, yeah,
I would totally get with your partner.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Yes, and I love you so yes.
Speaker 5 (18:52):
This is actually a really safe place for us to
be intimate.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
So I love that. Yeah, I'm there with you.
Speaker 7 (18:57):
How about you, Saint, I'm more like should we.
Speaker 9 (19:00):
I have many friends, but we're all kind of like
very playful with each other, very flirty with each other,
and I like that a lot. But I've never formally
dated a friends partner.
Speaker 7 (19:11):
M hmmm. The when I date.
Speaker 9 (19:13):
People are like when I'm interested in people, it's so
very visceral and in the moment and like with me
and this person that oftentimes it ends up being someone
you know, that's not I'm not around my other friends.
It's just someone I'm meeting and I'm out and about.
So I haven't really thought too much about that.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
Mm hmmm mmmm. What about too, Chandler.
Speaker 8 (19:31):
I mean not exactly. I mean like hooked up with
people and then I become friends with their partner, so
it's like more reverse but yeah, not like not that.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Yeah, thank you all for being silly with us and
also very candid and honest.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
I think you guys did an amazing job. Yeah, I
applaud you. But if you think that a Willita is
gonna take a break. Hell now next.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
Game, all right, So before I will lead that decides
who will be moving on in the competition. We'd like
to know a little bit more about your communication style.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
In this game.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
We'll be giving you a text from your new partner
that you'll need to respond with a completely original acronym. So,
for example, if I got a text that said, hey, baby,
I forgot we were going to the leather party tonight,
I'm still wearing my pjs and I haven't picked up
our leather harnesses from the specialty cleaner, is going to
(20:29):
be three hours late. Instead of texting them NBD, which
is no big deal, I'm gonna make up a new
acronym that might say nwbbucc no werries babe, backup chaps and.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
Car Oh you know okay, but that's why you wear it, right.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
It's a leather party, you know what I'm saying, My
good chests, backup, leather chaps in the back of the
wady I and roll.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
What's your first tis?
Speaker 3 (20:57):
Well, I'm gonna tell you all right, everybody ready respond
to this text, Hey babe, did you schedule the orgy
for today? It's amazing from polyamory to orgy. I mean, yeah,
I think it's what happening here.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
And even necessarily have to be polyamorous to be in
an orgy.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
But true, no, we've we've learned that from the collegula times.
It's all coming back to me now.
Speaker 4 (21:22):
That is learning so much in this in this season, Chandler,
you seem ready.
Speaker 8 (21:26):
So it's O F T P I G C and
it's oops, forgot to put in Google calendar.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
Oops, forgot to Google calendar.
Speaker 9 (21:35):
Nice.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
Oh my gosh, I love that shows what's yours?
Speaker 5 (21:38):
Mine is y B M V M I O I
yes oooh my virgo moon is on it?
Speaker 4 (21:46):
Oh, on it, yes, boom into it. What about you?
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Saint?
Speaker 7 (21:53):
Mine is w A H R B G y S.
We're hot and ready, baby graptat.
Speaker 4 (22:05):
I'm gonna start using these acronyms.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
My goodness, they need to be used. It's time.
Speaker 4 (22:09):
Yes, okay, I have another one.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Hey, sweetie, I know one of your partners is in
an acupuncturist. My hearts have been really funky this week.
Could they do anything about that? Oh, Saint take us away.
Speaker 9 (22:24):
My acronym is YGSBB double question, Mike, you got stinky
about baby?
Speaker 4 (22:33):
You got stinky about baby? Oh my gosh, incredible, Tamdler.
Speaker 7 (22:39):
I have two.
Speaker 8 (22:41):
One is D y C D Did you consume dairy?
Speaker 4 (22:47):
Incredible?
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Yes?
Speaker 8 (22:48):
And this one I'm like, I don't know if this
is very niche, but y n A g f MT Yes,
nagles are good for many things.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
Okay, okay, winky face, all right, that's a question I
need to write down.
Speaker 4 (23:03):
Yes, you need to ask that. So many things in
this episode already that those needles.
Speaker 7 (23:08):
Show we do.
Speaker 4 (23:09):
What's what's your acronym?
Speaker 5 (23:11):
So mine is also milk related? It's n B y
N L S d M No, beloved, you need to
stop drinking milk.
Speaker 4 (23:20):
No, no, but love it? Oh my god, amazing.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
Okay, this one is pretty pretty spicy. Ready you get
this text? Did you go through my phone and d
M my X?
Speaker 2 (23:38):
What do you taxt back?
Speaker 4 (23:40):
That's a tough one.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
Did you go through my phone and d M my EX?
What do you taxt back? Saint y M H A
T P B.
Speaker 7 (23:48):
You must have another toxic partner?
Speaker 4 (23:49):
Baby that that that ain't me my goodness, using your
partner's phone to like X. That's not.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
What's yours?
Speaker 7 (24:04):
Mine?
Speaker 5 (24:05):
Is nt y HB H never that you must have
been hacked?
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Yeah, that is the best danswer. Not I anyone.
Speaker 4 (24:16):
Chandler doing a little bit more, you got it, s
N T B T s A d H T N.
Speaker 8 (24:24):
Sorry, needed to borrow their saw and didn't have their number. O.
Speaker 4 (24:33):
Thank you all so very much for giving us the
chance to get to know you a bit more through these.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Games and banter fun moments.
Speaker 4 (24:41):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Unfortunately over here has a very tough decision to make,
and the only two of you will be able to
move forward for a chance to date our main dater.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
Well, listen, each of you is an amazing human being.
There's just no doubt about it.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
But at the end of the day, it is about
mostly our main dater because we need to have a
person that is compatible with them and dad being said,
the person who will not remain in the show is Chandler.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Chandler, thank you so so much for your wit, your charm.
You're so freaking funny. Thank you for playing with us.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
You're beautiful. Thank you so much to meet you.
Speaker 8 (25:27):
I had a lot of fun.
Speaker 7 (25:27):
Thank you for this.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
We'll be back after the break.
Speaker 4 (25:36):
Welcome back Todaymilani the.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
First well, congratulations to our two remaining contestants.
Speaker 4 (25:45):
Now we're diving into the more intimate part of the.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Competition where each of you gets to have a too,
a little one on one just you and her, and
she will ask a little bit more intimate questions to
dig deeper and find alignment within yourself and the main vader.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
All right, well, show wheat.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
I'm going to hand you over for a little piping
hat cup of coffee with Alita walitaa away.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
You look so good. I love your hair. Oh my goodness,
thank you.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
Refresh a Wilita's mine on what your love life currently
is all about.
Speaker 5 (26:22):
I feel like my love life is intimately connected with
like all the parts of my life. So I think
of like my love being like my community and like
all of the different facets of that. So I have
a partner Anna, who I love, and then I just
have like a lot of other folks who are like
lovers in different cities, so folks who I'm like sexually
intimate with when I'm there. And then I have friends
(26:43):
who are like my family and my kin and some
of them I also intimate with the some time. So
it's the boundary between lover and friend is a question,
you know, it's not a firm line.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
Wow, but this is extremely interesting to me because you
have such a high capacity for love.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
For sure, how intense to like you and all of this,
This is exactly what you want.
Speaker 5 (27:03):
I'm very intentional. That's exactly what I want. I've been
thinking about it in some ways my whole life. You know,
it really reminds me of my childhood self, where I
was just like excited to connect with people, and then
in other ways, like it's come through a lot of
trial and error with different types of relationships and monogamy.
And I've been dating consistently since I was thirteen, like
straight up until I was twenty five, no years off,
like multiple different partners, So I feel like I have
(27:25):
a really intense experience with that kind of lifestyle. So
for me, this is like a very like Okay, actually
I'm like scratching everything I've ever learned, everything I've ever
been told and really thinking like what are my fundamental
desires and needs? Like what is my capacity? Like what
kind of future and world am I trying to build?
And like how do I want to show up in it?
And how do I want to build relationship in it?
(27:46):
So it's like everything feels really intentional, but that just
means I feel like I've been building a really strong
foundation in these past two years specifically, so now I'm
kind of like getting to really enjoy that and like
it's not as hard as it was in the beginning,
because it's really hard to do stuff that's not normative
because it's like there's no model for it. You just
have to figure it out as you go. So I'm
feeling really stable in that right now.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Tell me a little bit about your experience with metamore.
Speaker 5 (28:09):
I'll say this is my first healthy polly relationship with
me and Anna, and she's on the ACE spectrum doesn't
really have other partners, so we haven't had that in
our relationship. For me, being a metamoor has been like
I've always known my friend's partner before anything happens, and
like the way I feel about my friends is like
we're family. So it's like if someone's involved in your life,
like I am now involved in their life. The metamor
feeling has kind of been cute. It's like when I
(28:32):
do end up in these intimate relationships with my friends,
they tell me like, oh, I've been talking to my
partner about you, and like they're so excited and like
they know I've really been wanting to be with you
in this way or you know, like develop our relationship
in this way, and then when I meet the partner,
it's just like this really fun, key key moment of like, ah.
Speaker 7 (28:48):
Like I know what you did, Like I know it
was fun.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
But there must be moments when those neutral or negative
feelings come to the surface.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
What do you do?
Speaker 4 (28:58):
Then?
Speaker 2 (28:59):
You know, jellou see and insecurity is where do they go?
What happens?
Speaker 5 (29:03):
Yeah, for me, I'll say whenever I feel jealousy and security,
it's all about fear, right, It's about like fear that
there isn't enough of that person to like go around,
which I think is a very like monogamous idea that
there is a limited capacity, like fear that they'll find
somebody else, like even being polly with my partner, Like
I think both of us feel nervous when the other
person begins to develop an intimate relationship with someone or
(29:24):
even talks about it, because it's like, of course, oh,
like what if you fall in love with them and
we're no longer together, Or thinking about my long standing
relationships with folks who I have had conflict within the past,
because we've known each other for seven years it's like, oh,
you're developing this new intimate relationship and you don't have
trauma with this person, are you going to love them
more than you love me? When I have those moments,
I like really have to sit and be like, okay,
(29:45):
like is this emotion derived from love or fear? And
it's always fear, and it's like, okay, well what am
I actually afraid of? Like what's the real thing? Because
it's like, I really believe if you ever feel jealous,
if you ever feel anything, you have to talk about it,
like even if it's tiny and it might like ruin
the vibe, like you have to bring it to the
front because then you can really say like, oh, I
feel jealous, But actually it's not that I feel jealous.
(30:05):
It's that I'm worried about this thing that hasn't even
happened yet and any having to process it. And these
are my boundaries around this behavior.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
And isn't that terrible? You just said it things that
haven't even happened yet. What are you talking about? We
don't want to talk about that.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
But you are an amazingly beautiful human beings. So thank
you so much for your candid answers.
Speaker 4 (30:28):
Yes, thank you show weeds. Oh my goodness, all right,
let's bring on safe welcome back, Saint.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
Hello, you're right.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
Now and I will eitas Salita and I have a
nice piping hot cup of coffee ready for you to
have a nice intimate one on one with Saint studying.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Now, how are you sat doing good today? Is this
your birth name?
Speaker 9 (30:50):
I had a lot of nicknames, so this is my
favorite one. So I just kind of adopted it when
I started writing why I don't feel I do now,
but I didn't feel so angelic most my life and
my friends. A lot of my friends see me that way.
I tend to be a sweetheart with my people. I
try to be very giving and attentive to all the
people in my life. I make sure I spent time
(31:11):
with them, despite how hectic my life tends to be.
And I'm extremely spiritual, and I have a large fondness
of religious iconography, a lot of religious tattoos, I have
an alter, I pray a lot and stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (31:23):
You know, you remind me so much of how my
grandson will turn out to be. He shares with you
that amazing quality of kindness and calmness. And I'm going
to cry any second now, So let's move on with
the questions.
Speaker 7 (31:39):
That's beautiful, You're.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
Very welcome, But let's talk about your love life and
where is that at right now?
Speaker 9 (31:45):
At the current moment, I have one partner, a beautiful girlfriend, Angin,
who's the most attentive and inspiring and safe partner I've
ever had. So I haven't been actively seeking, actively dating
for partners when they come into my life. And if
that connection is there, I'm very open to it and
I try to remain open to it very nice.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
And what is it that you want in this new person?
What do you want to see in them?
Speaker 9 (32:11):
I have to offer what I am and I do
not want to date someone who is looking for me
to be something other than what I am at this
very moment. So I want someone who's living in their
very moment, who's looking for someone who also living their
very moment. And from there, there's myriad ways that these
people can be that I might connect with. You know,
kinds of people that I'm interested can be completely different
from each other. So I'm just very open to seeing
(32:32):
what they're like as long as we have those baselines together.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
What turns you off?
Speaker 9 (32:37):
The kinds of things that get me riled up are
like when people are doing some kind of social or
hierarchical or structural violence or participating in it with someone
else or against someone else, and I go from zero
to one hundred with that stuff. Not immediately, I probably
go from zero. Internally, I'll go from like zero like fifty. Externally,
I'll probably be like a ten to twenty. But very
(32:58):
often the kind of people that I'm having those conflicts with,
they tend to be entrenched in that kind of thinking,
and that part drives me very quickly to very high.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
Since you are so calm and chilling, you can go
from zero to sixty depending on the situation on what's
going on.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
How do you control those emotions?
Speaker 7 (33:16):
I try to be a good listener mostly.
Speaker 9 (33:19):
The most recent time I've had a conflict with a
loved one was with my best friend and their girlfriend.
I love her to that she is my best friend,
but she has some very propagandic views sometimes, and me
and one of our other friends were kind of getting
into it with them, and we were drunk. We were
all pretty drunk, so emotions were kind of crazy and
I was just that was really worked up. But I
(33:40):
spoke over their partner, and their partner told me that,
and when I heard that, I was like, we don't
speak over people. So that's like a big signal for
me to take a step back and like kind of
calm down and relax and then allow the conversation to
either end or if I can't be calm, to just
end the conversation and pick it up later or don't,
depends on the nature of it.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Plus, we know that we need to keep some conversations
away from the tequila.
Speaker 7 (34:05):
Yes, absolutely, thank you so much, thank you.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
To our two remaining contestants, you both think you're just
so wonderful, so charming, so fun, so earnest.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
But there's something that we've been a little sneaky about.
Speaker 4 (34:28):
We did come clean from the get go that I
am dating the main dater so's family show stays in
the vamily. But there's one more thing that we have
kept from y'all.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Our main dater.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Actually has been here listening since the absolute beginning. A Willita,
you know, might have an idea of who she likes
for our main dater, but we'll see if we all
have a unanimous decision. So to both of you, ms,
we're gonna ask you for a quick exit and will
(35:01):
bring back our main contestant.
Speaker 7 (35:08):
Hi.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, will eat that. This is so hard,
extremely hard. I love I really really like just amazing.
Speaker 3 (35:21):
But you know they're not far from each other and
where they're at or how they think or how they
handle situations. I think they're just amazing human beings are
just really really sweet.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
We need to ask guys, yes, yes, Hi, Hello. To
be honest, I would read both that's a possibility.
Speaker 6 (35:41):
So both have said things that really resonate with me
in different ways. I'm with you, they're like, they're like
also in how they answer. I'm very community oriented and
that's the thing that.
Speaker 4 (35:53):
Draws me to both.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Also, let me think about it for a minute or two.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
All right, beautiful, let's bring in the contestants. So, yeah,
the jury has a verdict AA.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
All information given to Awlita, all desires of each one's heart,
has to be taken into consideration. There's nothing that I
want more in this world is to see everyone loving
each other. We always say, also, we have to find
that connection with our main data. But then again, you
(36:32):
start thinking, well, what happens when those beautiful people that
you have in front of you are as special as
our main dat.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
How do you separate? How do you choose? There is
no choosing, So for that reason and that reason alone,
it is both of you who will as fuck.
Speaker 4 (37:00):
So congratulations to the both of you.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Without any further ado an It meet chow Eaed and
Saint meet Anni Hi Show.
Speaker 6 (37:10):
Eat Hi, saying I love very meal and seeing all
of this, I had such a good time.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
It was hot.
Speaker 4 (37:19):
Yes an first impressions on show Eat and then.
Speaker 6 (37:24):
Saint, both of you have things in common when it
comes to polyamory. I think I'm very community oriented and
I see both of you like seeing it that way
and in a very intentional way.
Speaker 4 (37:35):
So that was why I was like, I'm keeping them
both show Weed.
Speaker 6 (37:39):
I really like resonated, especially in the GOFO with AA.
How you like explain how you explore your relationships even
with friends, like I have very deep intentional relationships with
my friends, and I really connected with that.
Speaker 4 (37:54):
I was like, yes, like I don't know where this
is going to, but I want to hang out with.
Speaker 6 (37:58):
That person for sure, and saying like your energy and
the way you talked about spirituality and how you were
very candid and honest of how you handled conflict and
also being accountable and how you're like working through that really.
Speaker 4 (38:16):
Hit me in a good way. So yeah, keeping you both, Yeah,
and if you all let me and with that show
we eat. First impressions on an Oh my god, I
feel like you're cute.
Speaker 5 (38:32):
That's the first first impression. I love this like bird
in the sky vibe like you've been watching.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
Yeah, I love what.
Speaker 5 (38:40):
You've named specifically for both me and st be community oriented.
I don't know what y'all talked about, but I'm very spiritual,
so I love to hear that named also when thinking
about into mechinicians and community.
Speaker 7 (38:49):
So yeah, I'm into that.
Speaker 4 (38:52):
Saying what about you? First impressions on Ane.
Speaker 9 (38:55):
Beautiful, I'm gonna do what should we said about loving
to hear what you pulled out of the conversation that
I didn't hear and also from mine.
Speaker 7 (39:04):
So that's nice. Impsion A praise kink, so like hearing
the compliments.
Speaker 4 (39:12):
Same, I also have a praise kink.
Speaker 7 (39:15):
Oh this is going wait what was that.
Speaker 4 (39:20):
Praise?
Speaker 6 (39:21):
We're gonna learn a lot to explain to you later.
I'm gonna praise you to see if you also can
feel it.
Speaker 2 (39:27):
Oh yeah, met us out there. I'll talk to you
on the next show.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
All right, Well, now we're gonna send our contestants away
for a little virtual dates.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
Just have fun, cuties, please have fun.
Speaker 7 (39:44):
Hell, hell you.
Speaker 4 (39:45):
I'm so glad to meet y'all.
Speaker 7 (39:47):
Glad to meet you too.
Speaker 5 (39:50):
Yeah, I'm excited.
Speaker 6 (39:52):
I'm excited because I didn't know I was going to
be so excited with you. Al bows, but like I
was like, bonus points. Yes, how was it for y'all?
Speaker 7 (40:03):
I had a lot of fun.
Speaker 9 (40:05):
Yeah, I didn't exactly understand what I was getting into
when I signed up. I was like, oh, yeah, I
can't do Grandma, why not some of the experience.
Speaker 6 (40:14):
Your mom can please the fact that you thought you
were gonna data really, it's it's so funny.
Speaker 9 (40:22):
I had a good time with other questions were really cute.
I loved hearing all the other answers. I had a
great time. How about you show weeks?
Speaker 5 (40:27):
Yeah, yeah, this is really fun. I think it's fun
on a meta level because I'm like, what is going on?
Like what a strange like la thing to be so
very cute in that way, very cute to like, Yeah,
I love to hear about what people think about love
about relationship. I also thought we would be dating Albabita, and.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
I was kind of excited.
Speaker 5 (40:46):
I'm excited for this too. I'm excited for both.
Speaker 8 (40:48):
So I'm.
Speaker 5 (40:51):
That and I just I keep thinking, like what a
queer experience that, Like you are a partner like that? Yeah,
I think it's Yeah, I love and she is connected,
like not more than one or two degrees separated.
Speaker 6 (41:03):
Yeah, I would love to meet y'all like in person
if you're up to it individually, and also we could
hang out like I think, Like, I was so excited
because at the first I was like a little worried
because I was like, you know, how do we make
this cool but not weird? Like everybody everybody's gonna think
(41:28):
it was weird. It's weird, but like in the niche
of polyams. I'm like, I wanted to be fun, but
I don't want it to be weird, which it wasn't
weird at all. And I'm so excited that it was
fine and fun and like comfortable for y'all.
Speaker 5 (41:41):
So, yeah, are you from La? Yeah?
Speaker 9 (41:44):
Originally I lived here about more than half my life now.
I went to high school in the desert, though which
is discussing.
Speaker 6 (41:56):
Okay, so it was so nice to meet you. I'm
so excited, total pleasure. Yeah, and I hope we can
connect more.
Speaker 4 (42:11):
Well wow wow wow. I hope those sweeties hit it off.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
Find us back here next week as Leanna and I
make some more matches.
Speaker 4 (42:22):
Good work today, Ali.
Speaker 2 (42:23):
Oh, we did good. I like what I'm looking at.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
Date Miaori The First is a production from w V
Sound and iHeartMedia's Mikutura podcast network, hosted by me Vico Ortiz,
joined by the fabulous Lena Montenegro Bait may AURALI the
First is produced by Leo Clem, Nico Raguel, and Sophie
Spencer Zavos. Our executive producers are Wilmer Valder, Alma, Leo Clem,
and Nico Raguel w V Sound. This episode was edited
(42:51):
by Sean Tracy and Sophie Spencer Zavos and features original music.
Speaker 4 (42:55):
By Alva Morello and Gabe Lopez.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
Special thanks to our team of key at WV Entertainment.
Special things Also to our hopeful romantics this week, I'm
Saint Chandler and Show Wheat. Additional thanks to Assault and
Line Media. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
(43:18):
See you next week, and in the meantime, don't do
anything Awalita wouldn't do.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
Just do it better. Okay, they see those
Alida, you know how you've been learning lots of new
words over the past two seasons of the podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
It's a new word every week.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
I've learned grinder, boy, pussy, yes, and I had to
learn about polyamory from the beginning of season one.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
Exactly. Yes, I hear you, Awida.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
I want to teach you another word that is really
important for me.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Well, what is it?
Speaker 4 (00:31):
The word today is compersion.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
It kind of sounds like a way to fix the
kitchen sink, not really, so.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Compersion is the word for feeling joy or contentment, for
a partner's excitement, especially around them dating other people. Some
people like to think of compersion as an antidote to jealousy.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Can you use it in a sentence?
Speaker 4 (00:55):
Absolutely?
Speaker 5 (00:55):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
So when I see my partner meeting a new cutie
and being excited about a new crush, I am always
happy to notice compersion in myself. That's same excitement. Like
I see them excited and I'm like, oh, I'm excited
for you in with you?
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Wow? What does that have to do with today's episode?
Speaker 4 (01:14):
All right, So I'm gonna answer the episode and then
I'm gonna give you a pitch. So check this out.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
This is day My hourly, the first where our incredible
AI Daily Leanna plays matchmaker for one lucky main dater.
She's gonna sort through three stellar contestants before sending one
of them off on a one on one date with
our star dater. I am your host, Vico Ortiz, joined
by the hilarious AI Dai Leana Monte.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
You ready for my pitch out of the park? Do
it all right?
Speaker 1 (01:45):
So we learn about compersion today because I was thinking,
what if.
Speaker 4 (01:51):
One of my partners comes on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Your partner Annie, the very one. Well, I have a
lot of questions.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Now, well, I think Anna wants to join in on
the fun and I can find joy in.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Their joy some very very compression.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
We're talking about.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
That compression we're talking about.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
If you really want to try it? Well, this is
absolutely yes. No one deserves more love. Everyone does. Everyone does.
Thank you so much for that. Should I go ahead
and intro Annie? Oh please do?
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Let's go.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
Today's main dat looking for a connection and being guided
by dear Abuilita is my partner Annie. Anna is back
and forth from Puerto Rico and La but moving to
La full time very very soon with their puppy it's.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
A very very in there.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Yes, they are a sagitarious sun, cancer, rising, porest moon,
and perhaps most intriguingly, Venus and Scorpio. While Scorpio Venuses
have a reputation of being very intense and passionate, often
secret of and possessive. Anna says they have found ways
(03:03):
to practice devotion even in polyamorous structures devotion.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Well, lucky you, Vico.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
Oh yeah, lucky me.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Indeed, Anna loves to move and dances vogue and ballroom.
They process their emotions through movements, so their body is
often the first point of understanding something they are experiencing.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
And they're attracted to big personalities.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Exhibit A Exactly, That's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
So, Vicot, what connections is Anna looking for right now?
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Or should I just wait to ask them?
Speaker 4 (03:38):
Yeah, let's just ask Anna.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Absolutely, let's do it.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
All right, baby, come on in. Oh my god, Well, Anna,
I am gonna actually take a true back seat in
this episode. This is gonna be about you and you
and Awilita. You know, I might have some idea of
what type of people you're interested in, but I I
(04:00):
really want Aita to have the full deep dive.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
We are going to get into the nitty gritty of things. Annie,
tell me, how are you today, my.
Speaker 6 (04:07):
Love, Hiawatha, I'm good. I'm so excited to be here
with y'all.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Now, let's talk a little bit about those that you
are attracted to, and if you can just define for
our elitea this word that has come up again in
my dictionary, tea for tea.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
I love that that's in your dictionary.
Speaker 6 (04:29):
What he thought, well, tea fort is like when the
relationships are like two trans people loving on each other.
And I am really here for a tea for tea connection.
I'm really attracted to people who knows what they want
and kind of express it. And also I talk a lot,
so I kind of like people who can deep dive
(04:51):
into like conversations about what they love and what they.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Like so you can get to know what they are about.
Speaker 6 (04:57):
Yes, and I love seeing people be passionate and like
do what they love to do in a very passionate way.
That really turns me on.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
So, yeah, you're a passionate person.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
I am very passionate.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Now, how do you navigate polyamory and tell me about that?
Speaker 2 (05:13):
How did it start for you?
Speaker 6 (05:15):
I don't have like a point where I was like, oh,
I'm polyamorous. I feel like I learned the languish while
I was living life. But I've always felt the capacity
to have romantic feelings for more than one person, and
that has always been my case. I didn't always know
that what that was possible, or that it was called polyamory.
(05:36):
So I think like maybe in my early twenties, when
I started reading about it and other people started like
making community out of it, that I was like, Oh,
this is possible.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
I'm not crazy, cute, There's a place for everyone.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Yes, absolutely, Yeah.
Speaker 6 (05:52):
So for me, it was more like of a realization
that I was not alone, and I thankfully found guy
and community to do it in a sustainable way.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
There's one more word. I want to know a little
bit more about poly saturation.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
What is that.
Speaker 6 (06:08):
Police Saturation is like when you have more connections that
you actually have capacity for and it's not sustainable to
you and it can lead to burn out.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
So what do you do at that point take a break? Well?
Speaker 6 (06:25):
I try not to get to that point, Okay, but
that was a learning curve because I did get to
that point at one point in my life and I
had to basically restructure my relationships around the capacity that
I did have, and that led to breakups definitely. But
right now I'm really being very intentional and like, that's
why I haven't been dating.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
So this is fun.
Speaker 6 (06:47):
So hello, hello, thank you for coming in. Baby, I
haven't been dating anyone new.
Speaker 4 (06:56):
Excuse me? Who am I?
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Then? Vico?
Speaker 3 (07:00):
This is so funny. Let's find out. How is it
that the two of you met? Come on you good?
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Jump in?
Speaker 4 (07:06):
Well, they slid into my DMS.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
First, I believe you had a partner when we first
started talking over DMS?
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Did I did?
Speaker 1 (07:15):
And then a little bit halfway through that you then
had a partner and also a boyfriend.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
Lockdown happened.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
I started to do a lot of performances online as
a drag king, and one of them became really viral
and Puerto Rico and a couple of folks reposted that video.
And then Anna saw me in that video and was like.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Who's this cuty and started following me.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
And I was around the same time listening to a
band in Puerto Rico. It was like a folkloric type
of music around feminism and inclusivity. And Anna was in
that band and I was listening to their music, and
they had already been following me on Instagram, and in
one of my posts on my stories, I'm like making
breakfast and I have their music in the background, and
(07:59):
they being like, hey, I'm in that band, and I'm like,
oh my gosh, and I follow them back and we
started to have a bit of a flirty conversation for
about a year or so, all through dms on Instagram.
And when we met, you had gone through a breakup,
you were still with the boyfriend, and this is so interesting,
(08:21):
and we had a really great and deep connection, and
I was like, I really like this person. I don't
just want to have a fun weekend with them. I
would like to keep exploring this and see where it
goes because they feel really good.
Speaker 4 (08:32):
And then you know, here we are.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
What is it that you want now?
Speaker 6 (08:37):
I'm not fixed in any type of connection right now.
I just know I have the capacity to have a
friend or a date or like a boyfriend, girlfriend, partner,
like the whole spectrum.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
What are your red flags? Things that you do not
want to see in the person and you start a friendship.
Speaker 6 (08:54):
With I don't like when people are not curious or like,
don't ask me questions like I like to talk, as
I said, and I ask a lot of questions, and
for me, it's a turn off with someone it's like
talking about themselves but are not really interested in the
other person that they're talking to. Another red flag I
think would be someone who is not present, are like
(09:17):
always like distructed by everything, and they're not present in
the moment.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Intentionality definitely.
Speaker 6 (09:23):
So yeah, not being present and not being curious, I
think it lack of intentionality, so.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
They don't want to be there.
Speaker 6 (09:32):
Yeah, well, so I like to feel that they want
to meet me.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Are you ready?
Speaker 4 (09:37):
I am ready?
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Are you already? Oh so ready? So so ready? All right,
thank you Annie.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
Thank you, and more.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
We're going to bring three contestants for a Wilita to
connect with on your behalf fingers crossed. By the end
of this you have found someone you feel drawn too.
I feel like this is the first episode where I
am as excited as.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
The main date.
Speaker 7 (10:02):
Conversion.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Yes, absolutely, I'm very very start to meet these contestants.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Already, get to it. Yeah, more delays, listen.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
Now let's bring in our contestants. We'll be back after
the break. Welcome back today, Mia.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Wani The first, okay, let's meet all of you. First up,
Saint Saint is interested in fire and air signs. To them,
that signifies people who take up space, which is true, Yes,
to those big personalities.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
Their red flags are monogamy, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Other red flags are any type of reductionism and people
who don't like kids or animals. They are interested in
fluid connections, especially physical connections, and not looking for heavy
expectations from someone They love a hot mom and people
who are invested in community listen same.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
They are a sage, sun, venus and Mars with a
scorpiostelium sprinkled in there. Oh my god, that hum Welcome, Welcome.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Saint Hot. Okay, we're going to get back to that
one absolutely.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Next up, we have a Chandler handler grew up in
LA and took some years living in other places and
is now excited to be back.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
In Los Angeles.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Yes, they have been getting involved in community more, especially
with other leather dykes.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
And kink community hot.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Their green flags are communication, opened miners and people knowing
their boundaries and limits.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Yes, that is so hot.
Speaker 4 (11:45):
They are especially attracted to people that look like they could.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Kill them a little bit hell, yeah, a little bit,
just a little bit, just a little dangerous, yes.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
And then bring you back to life.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
Hello Chandler, Hello, how's it going? So so good? I'm
gonna send with these bios las.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
But not certainly Lee's show read last time show Wee
was a contestants, we didn't get to hear their polly wisdom.
And I'm very excited because this episode is all about that.
He believes informing relationships because they are life sustaining and
not because anyone feels obligated to another.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
Yes, they love talking.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
About people's no skip albums and are attractive to folks
who are into the earth. They want to hear about
how you are preparing for the apocalypse, and they have
some skills that will.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
Come in handy for it. Okay, noted, Welcome show Weird.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Hello, Hello, Hello contestants. It's so nice to meet you all.
What a treat. Absolutely is right.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
It is such a treat to have you all here today.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
So usually I wait until later in the episode to
reveal some surprises, but this is a special episode, so
I wanted to let you.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
In on a little secret about our main dat.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
But first, before I get into that, I wanted to
add a little bit more definitions.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Listen, my dictionary is a little bit out of control
this morning.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Okay, what is it?
Speaker 4 (13:13):
Okay, this is an important one.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
So there is a word for someone's partner's partner. Does
any of you wise contestants want to provide that word
for what?
Speaker 7 (13:24):
Eat?
Speaker 4 (13:24):
That's saying to go for it?
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Metamore beautiful, exactly a metamore.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Everybody was like, yes, we all know this. Everybody raised
their hands. I just saw saints first. And it's an
important word today because actually I could be a metamor
to one of you after today's episode, because the main
dat is my partner is my partner.
Speaker 4 (13:48):
I'm not going to say their names just yet, almost
like I was about to say it.
Speaker 5 (13:52):
I know.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
It's almost like if the episode is like date my
public here first. But normally but not always, when you
meet someone who's polyamorous, who has an salvage relationship, you
meet that partner a ka the metamore a little bit
down the line. But in this case they get to
meet me right off the bat.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
You all are very brave today, but also you get
to have fun.
Speaker 4 (14:13):
Yes, absolutely, it's gonna be a fun time.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
So with that said, let's just go ahead and play
the first game.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Let's do it beca Now enough with the definitions. Oh yes,
we're gonna We're gonna pull it off of dizzy rhine. Now, yeah, I.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
Got you, I got you.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
We've been learning a lot of new words today, so
we're gonna play a little bit of never have I Ever?
Speaker 4 (14:34):
I mean, it's a classic for a reason. So here's
how we're gonna play. We're gonna list out something like this,
never have I ever had sex at work?
Speaker 1 (14:44):
And if you have done so, you'll respond by telling
us the story of what happened.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
And make the stories juicy.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
Yes, we want that much. We want that juice. Well,
with that, I know that was a really great example.
But here's the actual first. Never have I ever?
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Never have I ever crossed state lines for a date?
Speaker 7 (15:07):
Show?
Speaker 4 (15:07):
Eeet, did you cross state lines?
Speaker 6 (15:09):
I have?
Speaker 5 (15:10):
But I feel like New York to New Jersey is
a joke, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
It's basically like a question, Oh my gosh, amazing. Okay,
I have another one.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Never have I ever made an enemy out of someone's mom,
family member, or sibling.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
Well, that's a rough one. Tandler what's your story.
Speaker 8 (15:29):
It's less about like the fight itself and more about
how she confronted me that I think is funny. But
I used to facilitate a class in college and one
of the students had a disagreement with her facilitator of
her class. Somehow her mom got my phone number, and
I was like, I was also a college radio DJ,
so I'm like on air. I think it's like eleven
at night, and I get a phone call from like
(15:51):
a random number, so I'm like, who can this be?
So I pick it up and it's this woman who
is yelling at me, and I'm like trying to DJ.
So then I'm just like, okay, I gotta find a
ten minute song. So I put the ten minute song.
I'm like trying to like.
Speaker 4 (16:05):
Bring it back down.
Speaker 8 (16:07):
She was really angry, and I was like, what the
hell is happening here? I don't know your daughter, I
don't know the conflict.
Speaker 4 (16:15):
Oh that is wild? What about you saying?
Speaker 9 (16:19):
There was Once I was a he ate in a
fifth grade class and one of my students, who later
I came to understand, was closeted, but at the time
tor raging homophobe was parents were super homophobic, and during
school time I would talk to him about you know
why you don't do stuff like that, you don't think
and say things like this, and it was clicking for
him and he was changing over time. And at some
(16:41):
point his mom told the school to tell me to
stop talking to him about queer people.
Speaker 7 (16:47):
And then she avoided me after that.
Speaker 9 (16:48):
She wouldn't say bye to me anymore, and had a
lot of aggression.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
She didn't even have the nerve to stand up and
tell you herself, Wow.
Speaker 7 (16:58):
But our kid is gay. Son.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
I feel bad for the kid.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
No, I don't agree with that, and I will eat
us take note. I will let us do not agree
with that, and mama get out of the way.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Next one.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
Never have I ever used the kitchen appliants or object
doing sex.
Speaker 5 (17:20):
I've used you know, the thing that you have for
a milk frother, you know, the like handheld ones.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
I use that.
Speaker 5 (17:26):
Yeah, I was having sex in the kitchen and as
you do, love as I do. Yeah, And I have
like a little section for you know, my little macho
vibe whatever whatever, So you have all the little objects, yes,
And then the person I was fucking grabbed the little
floss and you sit on my chest on their chest. Yeah,
because it's like kind of intense but like not painful.
So yeah, it was great. It was great.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Oh my bumps are just standing up straight.
Speaker 4 (17:52):
That's brilliant. I'm taking notes on that one.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Yes they are, Yes they are.
Speaker 8 (17:56):
I'm clearly looking at my father right now.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
I'm like, no family members to listen to this show,
all right, Saint tell.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Us there's a counter account account, yes, Chandler. Any creative
usage of kitchen or objects, not really, I mean.
Speaker 8 (18:16):
The closest would probably be like nitrial gloves, which I
I mean I use them for like multi purposes, absolutely
great for safer sex practices and not LATEX.
Speaker 4 (18:25):
So correct correct correct?
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Oh, I love next one.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
Never have I ever dated a friend's partner, Go ahead
to it.
Speaker 5 (18:33):
I would love for my friends to date my partner.
I feel like I already know they're great. I already
really appressed them. We already have this really great relationship.
Like I want my friends to be happy. I know
my partner is bomb, Like look at that, and like
I have a lot of friends where I'm like, yeah,
I would totally get with your partner.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Yes, and I love you so yes.
Speaker 5 (18:52):
This is actually a really safe place for us to
be intimate.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
So I love that. Yeah, I'm there with you.
Speaker 7 (18:57):
How about you, Saint, I'm more like should we.
Speaker 9 (19:00):
I have many friends, but we're all kind of like
very playful with each other, very flirty with each other,
and I like that a lot. But I've never formally
dated a friends partner.
Speaker 7 (19:11):
M hmmm. The when I date.
Speaker 9 (19:13):
People are like when I'm interested in people, it's so
very visceral and in the moment and like with me
and this person that oftentimes it ends up being someone
you know, that's not I'm not around my other friends.
It's just someone I'm meeting and I'm out and about.
So I haven't really thought too much about that.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
Mm hmmm mmmm. What about too, Chandler.
Speaker 8 (19:31):
I mean not exactly. I mean like hooked up with
people and then I become friends with their partner, so
it's like more reverse but yeah, not like not that.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Yeah, thank you all for being silly with us and
also very candid and honest.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
I think you guys did an amazing job. Yeah, I
applaud you. But if you think that a Willita is
gonna take a break. Hell now next.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
Game, all right, So before I will lead that decides
who will be moving on in the competition. We'd like
to know a little bit more about your communication style.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
In this game.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
We'll be giving you a text from your new partner
that you'll need to respond with a completely original acronym. So,
for example, if I got a text that said, hey, baby,
I forgot we were going to the leather party tonight,
I'm still wearing my pjs and I haven't picked up
our leather harnesses from the specialty cleaner, is going to
(20:29):
be three hours late. Instead of texting them NBD, which
is no big deal, I'm gonna make up a new
acronym that might say nwbbucc no werries babe, backup chaps and.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
Car Oh you know okay, but that's why you wear it, right.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
It's a leather party, you know what I'm saying, My
good chests, backup, leather chaps in the back of the
wady I and roll.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
What's your first tis?
Speaker 3 (20:57):
Well, I'm gonna tell you all right, everybody ready respond
to this text, Hey babe, did you schedule the orgy
for today? It's amazing from polyamory to orgy. I mean, yeah,
I think it's what happening here.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
And even necessarily have to be polyamorous to be in
an orgy.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
But true, no, we've we've learned that from the collegula times.
It's all coming back to me now.
Speaker 4 (21:22):
That is learning so much in this in this season, Chandler,
you seem ready.
Speaker 8 (21:26):
So it's O F T P I G C and
it's oops, forgot to put in Google calendar.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
Oops, forgot to Google calendar.
Speaker 9 (21:35):
Nice.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
Oh my gosh, I love that shows what's yours?
Speaker 5 (21:38):
Mine is y B M V M I O I
yes oooh my virgo moon is on it?
Speaker 4 (21:46):
Oh, on it, yes, boom into it. What about you?
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Saint?
Speaker 7 (21:53):
Mine is w A H R B G y S.
We're hot and ready, baby graptat.
Speaker 4 (22:05):
I'm gonna start using these acronyms.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
My goodness, they need to be used. It's time.
Speaker 4 (22:09):
Yes, okay, I have another one.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Hey, sweetie, I know one of your partners is in
an acupuncturist. My hearts have been really funky this week.
Could they do anything about that? Oh, Saint take us away.
Speaker 9 (22:24):
My acronym is YGSBB double question, Mike, you got stinky
about baby?
Speaker 4 (22:33):
You got stinky about baby? Oh my gosh, incredible, Tamdler.
Speaker 7 (22:39):
I have two.
Speaker 8 (22:41):
One is D y C D Did you consume dairy?
Speaker 4 (22:47):
Incredible?
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Yes?
Speaker 8 (22:48):
And this one I'm like, I don't know if this
is very niche, but y n A g f MT Yes,
nagles are good for many things.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
Okay, okay, winky face, all right, that's a question I
need to write down.
Speaker 4 (23:03):
Yes, you need to ask that. So many things in
this episode already that those needles.
Speaker 7 (23:08):
Show we do.
Speaker 4 (23:09):
What's what's your acronym?
Speaker 5 (23:11):
So mine is also milk related? It's n B y
N L S d M No, beloved, you need to
stop drinking milk.
Speaker 4 (23:20):
No, no, but love it? Oh my god, amazing.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
Okay, this one is pretty pretty spicy. Ready you get
this text? Did you go through my phone and d
M my X?
Speaker 2 (23:38):
What do you taxt back?
Speaker 4 (23:40):
That's a tough one.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
Did you go through my phone and d M my EX?
What do you taxt back? Saint y M H A
T P B.
Speaker 7 (23:48):
You must have another toxic partner?
Speaker 4 (23:49):
Baby that that that ain't me my goodness, using your
partner's phone to like X. That's not.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
What's yours?
Speaker 7 (24:04):
Mine?
Speaker 5 (24:05):
Is nt y HB H never that you must have
been hacked?
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Yeah, that is the best danswer. Not I anyone.
Speaker 4 (24:16):
Chandler doing a little bit more, you got it, s
N T B T s A d H T N.
Speaker 8 (24:24):
Sorry, needed to borrow their saw and didn't have their number. O.
Speaker 4 (24:33):
Thank you all so very much for giving us the
chance to get to know you a bit more through these.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Games and banter fun moments.
Speaker 4 (24:41):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Unfortunately over here has a very tough decision to make,
and the only two of you will be able to
move forward for a chance to date our main dater.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
Well, listen, each of you is an amazing human being.
There's just no doubt about it.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
But at the end of the day, it is about
mostly our main dater because we need to have a
person that is compatible with them and dad being said,
the person who will not remain in the show is Chandler.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Chandler, thank you so so much for your wit, your charm.
You're so freaking funny. Thank you for playing with us.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
You're beautiful. Thank you so much to meet you.
Speaker 8 (25:27):
I had a lot of fun.
Speaker 7 (25:27):
Thank you for this.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
We'll be back after the break.
Speaker 4 (25:36):
Welcome back Todaymilani the.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
First well, congratulations to our two remaining contestants.
Speaker 4 (25:45):
Now we're diving into the more intimate part of the.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Competition where each of you gets to have a too,
a little one on one just you and her, and
she will ask a little bit more intimate questions to
dig deeper and find alignment within yourself and the main vader.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
All right, well, show wheat.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
I'm going to hand you over for a little piping
hat cup of coffee with Alita walitaa away.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
You look so good. I love your hair. Oh my goodness,
thank you.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
Refresh a Wilita's mine on what your love life currently
is all about.
Speaker 5 (26:22):
I feel like my love life is intimately connected with
like all the parts of my life. So I think
of like my love being like my community and like
all of the different facets of that. So I have
a partner Anna, who I love, and then I just
have like a lot of other folks who are like
lovers in different cities, so folks who I'm like sexually
intimate with when I'm there. And then I have friends
(26:43):
who are like my family and my kin and some
of them I also intimate with the some time. So
it's the boundary between lover and friend is a question,
you know, it's not a firm line.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
Wow, but this is extremely interesting to me because you
have such a high capacity for love.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
For sure, how intense to like you and all of this,
This is exactly what you want.
Speaker 5 (27:03):
I'm very intentional. That's exactly what I want. I've been
thinking about it in some ways my whole life. You know,
it really reminds me of my childhood self, where I
was just like excited to connect with people, and then
in other ways, like it's come through a lot of
trial and error with different types of relationships and monogamy.
And I've been dating consistently since I was thirteen, like
straight up until I was twenty five, no years off,
like multiple different partners, So I feel like I have
(27:25):
a really intense experience with that kind of lifestyle. So
for me, this is like a very like Okay, actually
I'm like scratching everything I've ever learned, everything I've ever
been told and really thinking like what are my fundamental
desires and needs? Like what is my capacity? Like what
kind of future and world am I trying to build?
And like how do I want to show up in it?
And how do I want to build relationship in it?
(27:46):
So it's like everything feels really intentional, but that just
means I feel like I've been building a really strong
foundation in these past two years specifically, so now I'm
kind of like getting to really enjoy that and like
it's not as hard as it was in the beginning,
because it's really hard to do stuff that's not normative
because it's like there's no model for it. You just
have to figure it out as you go. So I'm
feeling really stable in that right now.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Tell me a little bit about your experience with metamore.
Speaker 5 (28:09):
I'll say this is my first healthy polly relationship with
me and Anna, and she's on the ACE spectrum doesn't
really have other partners, so we haven't had that in
our relationship. For me, being a metamoor has been like
I've always known my friend's partner before anything happens, and
like the way I feel about my friends is like
we're family. So it's like if someone's involved in your life,
like I am now involved in their life. The metamor
feeling has kind of been cute. It's like when I
(28:32):
do end up in these intimate relationships with my friends,
they tell me like, oh, I've been talking to my
partner about you, and like they're so excited and like
they know I've really been wanting to be with you
in this way or you know, like develop our relationship
in this way, and then when I meet the partner,
it's just like this really fun, key key moment of like, ah.
Speaker 7 (28:48):
Like I know what you did, Like I know it
was fun.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
But there must be moments when those neutral or negative
feelings come to the surface.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
What do you do?
Speaker 4 (28:58):
Then?
Speaker 2 (28:59):
You know, jellou see and insecurity is where do they go?
What happens?
Speaker 5 (29:03):
Yeah, for me, I'll say whenever I feel jealousy and security,
it's all about fear, right, It's about like fear that
there isn't enough of that person to like go around,
which I think is a very like monogamous idea that
there is a limited capacity, like fear that they'll find
somebody else, like even being polly with my partner, Like
I think both of us feel nervous when the other
person begins to develop an intimate relationship with someone or
(29:24):
even talks about it, because it's like, of course, oh,
like what if you fall in love with them and
we're no longer together, Or thinking about my long standing
relationships with folks who I have had conflict within the past,
because we've known each other for seven years it's like, oh,
you're developing this new intimate relationship and you don't have
trauma with this person, are you going to love them
more than you love me? When I have those moments,
I like really have to sit and be like, okay,
(29:45):
like is this emotion derived from love or fear? And
it's always fear, and it's like, okay, well what am
I actually afraid of? Like what's the real thing? Because
it's like, I really believe if you ever feel jealous,
if you ever feel anything, you have to talk about it,
like even if it's tiny and it might like ruin
the vibe, like you have to bring it to the
front because then you can really say like, oh, I
feel jealous, But actually it's not that I feel jealous.
(30:05):
It's that I'm worried about this thing that hasn't even
happened yet and any having to process it. And these
are my boundaries around this behavior.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
And isn't that terrible? You just said it things that
haven't even happened yet. What are you talking about? We
don't want to talk about that.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
But you are an amazingly beautiful human beings. So thank
you so much for your candid answers.
Speaker 4 (30:28):
Yes, thank you show weeds. Oh my goodness, all right,
let's bring on safe welcome back, Saint.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
Hello, you're right.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
Now and I will eitas Salita and I have a
nice piping hot cup of coffee ready for you to
have a nice intimate one on one with Saint studying.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Now, how are you sat doing good today? Is this
your birth name?
Speaker 9 (30:50):
I had a lot of nicknames, so this is my
favorite one. So I just kind of adopted it when
I started writing why I don't feel I do now,
but I didn't feel so angelic most my life and
my friends. A lot of my friends see me that way.
I tend to be a sweetheart with my people. I
try to be very giving and attentive to all the
people in my life. I make sure I spent time
(31:11):
with them, despite how hectic my life tends to be.
And I'm extremely spiritual, and I have a large fondness
of religious iconography, a lot of religious tattoos, I have
an alter, I pray a lot and stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (31:23):
You know, you remind me so much of how my
grandson will turn out to be. He shares with you
that amazing quality of kindness and calmness. And I'm going
to cry any second now, So let's move on with
the questions.
Speaker 7 (31:39):
That's beautiful, You're.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
Very welcome, But let's talk about your love life and
where is that at right now?
Speaker 9 (31:45):
At the current moment, I have one partner, a beautiful girlfriend, Angin,
who's the most attentive and inspiring and safe partner I've
ever had. So I haven't been actively seeking, actively dating
for partners when they come into my life. And if
that connection is there, I'm very open to it and
I try to remain open to it very nice.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
And what is it that you want in this new person?
What do you want to see in them?
Speaker 9 (32:11):
I have to offer what I am and I do
not want to date someone who is looking for me
to be something other than what I am at this
very moment. So I want someone who's living in their
very moment, who's looking for someone who also living their
very moment. And from there, there's myriad ways that these
people can be that I might connect with. You know,
kinds of people that I'm interested can be completely different
from each other. So I'm just very open to seeing
(32:32):
what they're like as long as we have those baselines together.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
What turns you off?
Speaker 9 (32:37):
The kinds of things that get me riled up are
like when people are doing some kind of social or
hierarchical or structural violence or participating in it with someone
else or against someone else, and I go from zero
to one hundred with that stuff. Not immediately, I probably
go from zero. Internally, I'll go from like zero like fifty. Externally,
I'll probably be like a ten to twenty. But very
(32:58):
often the kind of people that I'm having those conflicts with,
they tend to be entrenched in that kind of thinking,
and that part drives me very quickly to very high.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
Since you are so calm and chilling, you can go
from zero to sixty depending on the situation on what's
going on.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
How do you control those emotions?
Speaker 7 (33:16):
I try to be a good listener mostly.
Speaker 9 (33:19):
The most recent time I've had a conflict with a
loved one was with my best friend and their girlfriend.
I love her to that she is my best friend,
but she has some very propagandic views sometimes, and me
and one of our other friends were kind of getting
into it with them, and we were drunk. We were
all pretty drunk, so emotions were kind of crazy and
I was just that was really worked up. But I
(33:40):
spoke over their partner, and their partner told me that,
and when I heard that, I was like, we don't
speak over people. So that's like a big signal for
me to take a step back and like kind of
calm down and relax and then allow the conversation to
either end or if I can't be calm, to just
end the conversation and pick it up later or don't,
depends on the nature of it.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Plus, we know that we need to keep some conversations
away from the tequila.
Speaker 7 (34:05):
Yes, absolutely, thank you so much, thank you.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
To our two remaining contestants, you both think you're just
so wonderful, so charming, so fun, so earnest.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
But there's something that we've been a little sneaky about.
Speaker 4 (34:28):
We did come clean from the get go that I
am dating the main dater so's family show stays in
the vamily. But there's one more thing that we have
kept from y'all.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Our main dater.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Actually has been here listening since the absolute beginning. A Willita,
you know, might have an idea of who she likes
for our main dater, but we'll see if we all
have a unanimous decision. So to both of you, ms,
we're gonna ask you for a quick exit and will
(35:01):
bring back our main contestant.
Speaker 7 (35:08):
Hi.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, will eat that. This is so hard,
extremely hard. I love I really really like just amazing.
Speaker 3 (35:21):
But you know they're not far from each other and
where they're at or how they think or how they
handle situations. I think they're just amazing human beings are
just really really sweet.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
We need to ask guys, yes, yes, Hi, Hello. To
be honest, I would read both that's a possibility.
Speaker 6 (35:41):
So both have said things that really resonate with me
in different ways. I'm with you, they're like, they're like
also in how they answer. I'm very community oriented and
that's the thing that.
Speaker 4 (35:53):
Draws me to both.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Also, let me think about it for a minute or two.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
All right, beautiful, let's bring in the contestants. So, yeah,
the jury has a verdict AA.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
All information given to Awlita, all desires of each one's heart,
has to be taken into consideration. There's nothing that I
want more in this world is to see everyone loving
each other. We always say, also, we have to find
that connection with our main data. But then again, you
(36:32):
start thinking, well, what happens when those beautiful people that
you have in front of you are as special as
our main dat.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
How do you separate? How do you choose? There is
no choosing, So for that reason and that reason alone,
it is both of you who will as fuck.
Speaker 4 (37:00):
So congratulations to the both of you.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Without any further ado an It meet chow Eaed and
Saint meet Anni Hi Show.
Speaker 6 (37:10):
Eat Hi, saying I love very meal and seeing all
of this, I had such a good time.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
It was hot.
Speaker 4 (37:19):
Yes an first impressions on show Eat and then.
Speaker 6 (37:24):
Saint, both of you have things in common when it
comes to polyamory. I think I'm very community oriented and
I see both of you like seeing it that way
and in a very intentional way.
Speaker 4 (37:35):
So that was why I was like, I'm keeping them
both show Weed.
Speaker 6 (37:39):
I really like resonated, especially in the GOFO with AA.
How you like explain how you explore your relationships even
with friends, like I have very deep intentional relationships with
my friends, and I really connected with that.
Speaker 4 (37:54):
I was like, yes, like I don't know where this
is going to, but I want to hang out with.
Speaker 6 (37:58):
That person for sure, and saying like your energy and
the way you talked about spirituality and how you were
very candid and honest of how you handled conflict and
also being accountable and how you're like working through that really.
Speaker 4 (38:16):
Hit me in a good way. So yeah, keeping you both, Yeah,
and if you all let me and with that show
we eat. First impressions on an Oh my god, I
feel like you're cute.
Speaker 5 (38:32):
That's the first first impression. I love this like bird
in the sky vibe like you've been watching.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
Yeah, I love what.
Speaker 5 (38:40):
You've named specifically for both me and st be community oriented.
I don't know what y'all talked about, but I'm very spiritual,
so I love to hear that named also when thinking
about into mechinicians and community.
Speaker 7 (38:49):
So yeah, I'm into that.
Speaker 4 (38:52):
Saying what about you? First impressions on Ane.
Speaker 9 (38:55):
Beautiful, I'm gonna do what should we said about loving
to hear what you pulled out of the conversation that
I didn't hear and also from mine.
Speaker 7 (39:04):
So that's nice. Impsion A praise kink, so like hearing
the compliments.
Speaker 4 (39:12):
Same, I also have a praise kink.
Speaker 7 (39:15):
Oh this is going wait what was that.
Speaker 4 (39:20):
Praise?
Speaker 6 (39:21):
We're gonna learn a lot to explain to you later.
I'm gonna praise you to see if you also can
feel it.
Speaker 2 (39:27):
Oh yeah, met us out there. I'll talk to you
on the next show.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
All right, Well, now we're gonna send our contestants away
for a little virtual dates.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
Just have fun, cuties, please have fun.
Speaker 7 (39:44):
Hell, hell you.
Speaker 4 (39:45):
I'm so glad to meet y'all.
Speaker 7 (39:47):
Glad to meet you too.
Speaker 5 (39:50):
Yeah, I'm excited.
Speaker 6 (39:52):
I'm excited because I didn't know I was going to
be so excited with you. Al bows, but like I
was like, bonus points. Yes, how was it for y'all?
Speaker 7 (40:03):
I had a lot of fun.
Speaker 9 (40:05):
Yeah, I didn't exactly understand what I was getting into
when I signed up. I was like, oh, yeah, I
can't do Grandma, why not some of the experience.
Speaker 6 (40:14):
Your mom can please the fact that you thought you
were gonna data really, it's it's so funny.
Speaker 9 (40:22):
I had a good time with other questions were really cute.
I loved hearing all the other answers. I had a
great time. How about you show weeks?
Speaker 5 (40:27):
Yeah, yeah, this is really fun. I think it's fun
on a meta level because I'm like, what is going on?
Like what a strange like la thing to be so
very cute in that way, very cute to like, Yeah,
I love to hear about what people think about love
about relationship. I also thought we would be dating Albabita, and.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
I was kind of excited.
Speaker 5 (40:46):
I'm excited for this too. I'm excited for both.
Speaker 8 (40:48):
So I'm.
Speaker 5 (40:51):
That and I just I keep thinking, like what a
queer experience that, Like you are a partner like that? Yeah,
I think it's Yeah, I love and she is connected,
like not more than one or two degrees separated.
Speaker 6 (41:03):
Yeah, I would love to meet y'all like in person
if you're up to it individually, and also we could
hang out like I think, Like, I was so excited
because at the first I was like a little worried
because I was like, you know, how do we make
this cool but not weird? Like everybody everybody's gonna think
(41:28):
it was weird. It's weird, but like in the niche
of polyams. I'm like, I wanted to be fun, but
I don't want it to be weird, which it wasn't
weird at all. And I'm so excited that it was
fine and fun and like comfortable for y'all.
Speaker 5 (41:41):
So, yeah, are you from La? Yeah?
Speaker 9 (41:44):
Originally I lived here about more than half my life now.
I went to high school in the desert, though which
is discussing.
Speaker 6 (41:56):
Okay, so it was so nice to meet you. I'm
so excited, total pleasure. Yeah, and I hope we can
connect more.
Speaker 4 (42:11):
Well wow wow wow. I hope those sweeties hit it off.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
Find us back here next week as Leanna and I
make some more matches.
Speaker 4 (42:22):
Good work today, Ali.
Speaker 2 (42:23):
Oh, we did good. I like what I'm looking at.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
Date Miaori The First is a production from w V
Sound and iHeartMedia's Mikutura podcast network, hosted by me Vico Ortiz,
joined by the fabulous Lena Montenegro Bait may AURALI the
First is produced by Leo Clem, Nico Raguel, and Sophie
Spencer Zavos. Our executive producers are Wilmer Valder, Alma, Leo Clem,
and Nico Raguel w V Sound. This episode was edited
(42:51):
by Sean Tracy and Sophie Spencer Zavos and features original music.
Speaker 4 (42:55):
By Alva Morello and Gabe Lopez.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
Special thanks to our team of key at WV Entertainment.
Special things Also to our hopeful romantics this week, I'm
Saint Chandler and Show Wheat. Additional thanks to Assault and
Line Media. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
(43:18):
See you next week, and in the meantime, don't do
anything Awalita wouldn't do.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
Just do it better. Okay, they see those
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