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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm Devout and we're the Ellis's.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
You may know us from posting funny videos with.

Speaker 1 (00:17):
Our voys and reading each other publicly as a.

Speaker 3 (00:20):
Form of therapy.

Speaker 4 (00:22):
Wait, I make you need therapy most days. Wow.

Speaker 3 (00:25):
Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married.

Speaker 4 (00:28):
Yes, sir, we are.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of
li's most taboo topics.

Speaker 3 (00:33):
Things most folks don't want to talk about.

Speaker 5 (00:36):
Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass
is a term that we say every day. So when
we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred
the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
We about to take philosof to our whole new level.

Speaker 3 (00:52):
Dead ass starts right now.

Speaker 4 (00:58):
What's up Chicago? Oh? Oh my god, I love y'all.
This love feels so good. Man. I love y'all.

Speaker 6 (01:09):
Man.

Speaker 4 (01:11):
Oh, oh, please, have.

Speaker 7 (01:14):
A seat, have a seat, Have a seat, have a seat.

Speaker 4 (01:17):
How A see you see me? It's something light. It's
something light. You know what I'm saying. It's something light.
I woke up. I woke up.

Speaker 7 (01:25):
I said, you know what I mean? Need to get bath.
There they go you know what I'm saying. But uh
see the chain walked out more with my baby got
this for me, you know what I'm saying. Last birthday
she pimped out on me. So hey, there's something light.
Let me tell let me tell you my birthday. She
wakes up right, she goes, baby, can we can?

Speaker 4 (01:46):
We go to the mall.

Speaker 7 (01:49):
I'm like, it's my birthday, but okay. She gets up first,
puts on these short shorts and I was like, something's up,
Something is up. She put on her Red Jordan one
she loved joining a Red Jordan once.

Speaker 4 (02:11):
Put her freaking hair banging the point town. She was like,
I'm ready. I was like, it's my birthday though, but whatever.

Speaker 7 (02:20):
We get to the mall, takes me in this elevator,
go upstairs. It's a jeweler, and I'm like, she really
wants something. This is on my birthday. This song we
walk in there, dude goes, how you doing, mister Ellis,
have a seat.

Speaker 4 (02:39):
Me by help me.

Speaker 7 (02:44):
So now they bought me some champagne, a whole bunch
of stuff. So I'm being sophisticated now because I ain't
never been in no jeweler like this, So I'm sitting there.
Dude comes out with a whole bunch of Cubans, comes
in and goes, get whatever you like.

Speaker 8 (03:07):
Man, when I tell you that night, you said pick
whatever I like.

Speaker 7 (03:19):
And speaking of whoever I like, I know who y'all
came to see.

Speaker 4 (03:25):
Yeah, So I'm.

Speaker 7 (03:28):
Gonna need everybody to get back on your feet. She
is the host of That Ass podcast. She is a
New York Times best selling author. She is a Webbie
Award winning podcaster.

Speaker 4 (03:48):
She is also the mom to not one, not two, not.

Speaker 9 (03:54):
Three, but four whole boys my best friend Decad.

Speaker 4 (04:06):
Chicago.

Speaker 10 (04:10):
Oh my goodness, wow, Yo, let me tell y'all something.

Speaker 7 (04:19):
We have been across the country. This has been the
greatest welcome that we act in the entire country. Son,
big up yourself.

Speaker 3 (04:33):
Oh my god, Yo, it's crazy. So we're like downstak
What was that all right?

Speaker 4 (04:41):
Sir? Yes, sir Ellice.

Speaker 1 (04:44):
So we're downstage right, and we get back down backstage
downstairs and we can hear I.

Speaker 3 (04:49):
Mean give it up for DJ.

Speaker 4 (04:52):
Have a seat, how a suit?

Speaker 11 (04:54):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (04:56):
Had the party started way before we got here. I
was trying to come out early. I was like, I'm
ready to go. I heard y'all had y'all dreams you
were hanging out doing a little bop.

Speaker 4 (05:08):
Y'all don't have funny story. I got a real funny story.
Is the story time or storytime? Yet?

Speaker 7 (05:14):
I'm gonna take y'all back to about twenty minutes ago. Okay,
So I'm gonna tell you why we started late. This
is why we started late. Before every show, my stomach
be like legit, and before I before I start the story,
we have any handicapped people in the building, I don't

(05:35):
think yes. I'm gonna ask you this question directly. I'm
gonna ask you this question directly. Go downstairs, use the bathroom, right.
I sit on a toilet. Why is the toilet seats
so fucking tall?

Speaker 1 (05:49):
Man, y'all have to see the I don't know if
y'all toilets are the same way, but the toilets are
while high in our bathroom.

Speaker 4 (05:55):
Yo.

Speaker 7 (05:55):
So I'm on the toilet and I'm trying to like
like be on it, and my tip toes it's like, oh,
and I'm feeling like a bitch.

Speaker 4 (06:03):
I ain't gonna lie.

Speaker 7 (06:03):
I'm like, I'm like straightening your toes out, like I
can't be on my toes on this, so I straightened
my toes out.

Speaker 4 (06:09):
Now my feet dangling. My feet was dangling, and when
I'm not comfortable, it just won't come out. So that's
what took so long.

Speaker 3 (06:18):
It didn't happen.

Speaker 4 (06:19):
It happened.

Speaker 3 (06:20):
Oh I had lets give a t M.

Speaker 4 (06:22):
I I had to put books.

Speaker 7 (06:25):
I had to put books at the bottom so I
could put my feet on the thing.

Speaker 4 (06:28):
And then that's so stupid. That's why we gotta lay.

Speaker 7 (06:31):
I apologize though, and I washed my hands for everybody
waiting for the meet and grade.

Speaker 4 (06:37):
I washed my hands.

Speaker 1 (06:38):
Shout washing taking the ship so you can tell we
family off the bat.

Speaker 3 (06:43):
Clearly, because you know.

Speaker 1 (06:49):
So the best part about these shows for us is
interacting with y'all.

Speaker 3 (06:54):
Yes, we do so much from our phones from.

Speaker 1 (06:57):
The house, post videos, record podcasts, but nothing means more
to us than being in a space with you guys.
So shout out to y'all for showing up today. I mean,
we trucked out of the snow in Detroit were you'll
supposed to get the part of that snowstorm or no?

Speaker 3 (07:19):
All right, so we praised.

Speaker 7 (07:20):
We want nothing to do with Chicago, not what not
one bit that snow was up there like on.

Speaker 1 (07:28):
Wanted No Parts. Who listens to the podcast, Love y'all
for that, Love.

Speaker 3 (07:35):
Y'all for that?

Speaker 7 (07:36):
And if you know the podcast, what comes after the
introduction Story.

Speaker 3 (07:41):
Times, Story Times.

Speaker 7 (07:42):
So now y'all are gonna hear a story that I
haven't told yet even if you listen to the podcast.
It's about how I got of aseectony, got to.

Speaker 3 (07:57):
The balance, skipped the balls. I'm so excited about it, y'all.
I'm me tell you.

Speaker 1 (08:06):
The first time he came home, the first time he
came home and he was healed and we.

Speaker 3 (08:11):
Were able to do it again.

Speaker 1 (08:13):
You know a song I played for the first one first.

Speaker 4 (08:16):
That's not funny to me, that's triggering to me.

Speaker 1 (08:19):
You know that song I want to swing from the CHANDELI.

Speaker 3 (08:23):
I was swinging. That gave me the permission to be free. Baby.

Speaker 4 (08:30):
That's why.

Speaker 7 (08:30):
That's what I like the most about it. But let
me tell you how she told me that we were going.

Speaker 4 (08:36):
To do this well.

Speaker 7 (08:37):
First and foremost, the reason why I decided to get
of a second me because after we had Coda and
he was our fourth child, Kay developed a postpartum pre clamshire.
And if you know about postpartum pre Clamshire. It's you
could say that again, that's a fact. It's a bit so.
The doctor told us, you know, if Kadean were to

(08:57):
get pregnant again, she might have full blown proclaimed, which
could also lead to her death. Because she was hospitalized
after CODA with the postpartum proclaim. Her blood pressure was
high and they told her she was on the verge
of getting a stroke. So after we decided we weren't
gonna have any more kids, we.

Speaker 4 (09:13):
Tried birth control. The birth control was giving her issues.

Speaker 7 (09:15):
It was just like yo, yo, yo, it's my time
likes as a man.

Speaker 3 (09:22):
Yes, yes, I appreciate that.

Speaker 7 (09:24):
I'm proud of myself and I'm glad y'all clapped for me.
All right, I'm glad your clapped for me and my man.
You know we both appreciate you. So when you hear this,
when you hear this story, you're gonna understand why I'm
so mad. You see that applause I got, Now, y'all
gonna see why I was fucking fissed. My wife was

(09:45):
so excited right I was filming. My wife was so
excited that was gonna get a sect to me. She's
doing all the research, looking up doctors, just sending me stuff.
I don't care, all right, Like I just don't want
to hear about it. Just tell me when I gotta go.
One morning, I wake up, She's like, I'm like, what's up?
Second rise and shine.

Speaker 4 (10:05):
Like, what's up? You have an appointment today? I was
like for what?

Speaker 3 (10:10):
She was like, remember you didn't check the calendar.

Speaker 7 (10:14):
So okay, you did tell me to check my calendar.
Never checked, never checked my calendar.

Speaker 3 (10:18):
Told his brother we were going to be home this weekend.

Speaker 1 (10:20):
So his brother's at our house, flew all the way
out to Georgia.

Speaker 3 (10:23):
Didn't know we weren't gonna be here.

Speaker 7 (10:25):
Listen, he should have checked my calendar. He has people
come over. I told me come over, that's not my problem.
So she goes, I gotta get your sected me.

Speaker 4 (10:35):
I was like, damn, that's today. She's like yeah.

Speaker 7 (10:37):
So she had sweatpants lined up, slippers lined up school, and.

Speaker 4 (10:44):
We was matching. So I'm really pissed now, Like I'm like, yo, yo, no,
son no no. I said, I'm not.

Speaker 7 (10:56):
Wearing matching pajama sets. To get it a second me,
my nigga, I'm not doing that.

Speaker 4 (11:01):
Bro.

Speaker 3 (11:01):
It was your favorite color.

Speaker 1 (11:03):
I was trying to you comfort so you.

Speaker 4 (11:07):
I appreciate that for me. Yeah.

Speaker 7 (11:10):
Yeah, Now you're not gonna get me to agree to that.

Speaker 4 (11:14):
You're not gonna give me to agree to that.

Speaker 7 (11:16):
So in a moment of protest, I went in my closet,
got my black sweatpants.

Speaker 4 (11:23):
You know what I'm saying, Wakanda forever. You know what
I'm saying.

Speaker 7 (11:26):
I'm here with mons. So I come out dressing all black.
I'm like, all right, if I'm gonna do this, I'm
gonna do this on my terms. So now we go.
We get into the car, right, I kid you not.
Every inch closer. I got to that fucking doctor's office.

Speaker 4 (11:41):
Show my stomach.

Speaker 8 (11:43):
Mom.

Speaker 4 (11:43):
I told y'all about downstairs, y'all so my stomach, I said.

Speaker 7 (11:52):
So then we get there, and I kid you not.
We pull up in the parking lot. There's like six cars, bro,
every car due was a woman driving and a dude
in the passage to see like this.

Speaker 3 (12:08):
It was like a carpool line.

Speaker 7 (12:10):
So I was like, I was like, Yo, this shit
is wild. This is like this is like the handsmade's
tail backwards, like y'all just taking all of our nuts.
So I like, I can't take.

Speaker 4 (12:22):
This no more. Man, I'm getting out.

Speaker 7 (12:23):
So I get out the car first. Why because I'm
gonna do this on my terms. I get out the
car boom, slammed the door. I seen the other dudes
start to get like.

Speaker 4 (12:34):
It was like, you know what, yeah, you know what
I'm saying.

Speaker 7 (12:38):
So I walked by the from the car. I was like,
let's go, so they don't jumped out the car. We
walking right. Then the wife start walking behind them right.
And as they get closer and they start lining up
with their wives, I was like, all, y'all, motherfuckers, is
matching two. So then I looked at K I felt
left out. I was like, damn man, I just want

(13:01):
them to know we married. Because it's like everybody else
got their magic pajamas and I don't got my magic pajamas.

Speaker 4 (13:08):
See, and I didn't know that at the time.

Speaker 7 (13:10):
This is why when your wife tried to be of service,
let your wife be of service. You know what I'm saying,
Thank you, I'm glad. Y'all applauded that. Remember that applause.
So now we in line. Everybody got their head down
like this.

Speaker 4 (13:27):
All the wise.

Speaker 1 (13:34):
Yo, I was giving them all the wink and the
gun like you know, so I know, meet me at Starbucks.

Speaker 3 (13:40):
We can just chat.

Speaker 4 (13:42):
I was doing all that.

Speaker 7 (13:43):
I was having a moment, and you was there trying
to make friends. You want to put us on.

Speaker 3 (13:48):
It was a support group for us, and.

Speaker 7 (13:51):
It's gonna be our support group. So we get to
the doctor. This is how prepared my wife was. We
get to the doctor, and the doctor that says, so,
I'm sure that you know you're gonna want to go
to sleep. Yes, yes, put me all the way to sleep.

Speaker 3 (14:06):
Because you could do it locally, or you can go
in generally.

Speaker 4 (14:08):
And sezea and I go damn.

Speaker 7 (14:13):
If I go to if I get to anesthesia, I
can't eat like this morning, nothing like that, Cadeen goes.

Speaker 4 (14:18):
That's right.

Speaker 7 (14:19):
That's why I ain't make you nothing last night. After
you smoke, I was all right, no money's for you.
Eleven thirty, I did smoke. She went getting to the back.
She put me to sleep, and that's why I ain't
getting none to eat.

Speaker 3 (14:35):
One more for the road, you know. And then I
don't see anything I did wrong here yet.

Speaker 4 (14:41):
No, No, you was definitely on service that night. You
service was on service.

Speaker 7 (14:46):
So then I was like, dang, she had this whole
thing planned out. We ain't get breakfast or nothing. When
I thought about the sun. We walked right up, got
in the car, and went right to the doctor's office.
She was prepared. So then put me to sleep. Right,
I don't remember anything. I wake up and all I
remember is like the doctor like I have my knees

(15:07):
was in the thing, and the doctor was like looking
down there. And I remember waking up and just going pause.

Speaker 4 (15:17):
And then.

Speaker 7 (15:20):
Like nah nah because but but then in that moment,
I had a moment of maturity.

Speaker 4 (15:23):
I was like, did you gotta grow up?

Speaker 7 (15:25):
Like like, that's the neurologist, right, like, you gotta grow up.

Speaker 3 (15:30):
This is what he does every day.

Speaker 7 (15:31):
This, yeah, let's do this every day. So I get up,
I go pause. We start having a conversation. I do
not remember anything we talked about.

Speaker 3 (15:40):
He was still coming off that anesthesian.

Speaker 7 (15:44):
Do you know anybody, so y'all know what it's like, Yes,
I don't remember.

Speaker 1 (15:50):
This conversation is talking to the eurologists, and he's just like, so,
you know, I've been with my nuts for a long time.

Speaker 4 (15:59):
Does that sound like I just want to know?

Speaker 1 (16:04):
So he's like I've been with my nuts for a
long time. I just want to make sure they're still
where they're supposed to be. And the doctor said, yeah,
I've been with mine too.

Speaker 3 (16:12):
For a long time.

Speaker 1 (16:15):
Like older white dude, gray hair, you know the top
eurologists in Atlanta. You know, I did my research. So
he was in good hands.

Speaker 3 (16:21):
But the biggest thing that made me cringe, what bulls? Really?
I missed the possible moments. When did I say you.

Speaker 4 (16:32):
Got four sons? You missed the plausible moments you gonna
talk about my nuts? Was in his hands bulls.

Speaker 1 (16:44):
But the best part about it was Deval was really
trying to have this conversation with the urologists about the
consistency of his ejaculation.

Speaker 3 (16:52):
Now, what is it going to be like? Consistency wise?
And I'm like, Devo, do.

Speaker 1 (16:58):
Not embarrass me in front of this man. I'm like, sorry,
it's the anesthesia talking. It's not him.

Speaker 3 (17:04):
Promise he's not.

Speaker 4 (17:04):
Normally like this. That was not the anesthesia talking. Lie.

Speaker 7 (17:11):
I was thinking about you right when you get Yes,
it's a texture thing. When when when you get you
you see the ladies who know those are probably other
women who understand that the textures matter, and I just
want to make sure that my texture.

Speaker 4 (17:30):
Stayed the same. And I was doing that for you, baby.

Speaker 3 (17:36):
To him, So let's talk about milk.

Speaker 1 (17:39):
You got whole milk, you got two percent, you got
one percent, you got skim milk. Where do I fall
into line? Now?

Speaker 4 (17:46):
I just wanted to know. I need you don't want
to go down there one day and it's just dripping.

Speaker 12 (17:52):
That like jo man, it's clear? Why is my not clear?
Why this is not fair? Nobody want to have clear?
En man, put you on them on plate.

Speaker 1 (18:15):
But the doctor confirmed that nothing changed any the swimmers.

Speaker 3 (18:23):
There's proof. Clap him up. Nothing changed, y'all. He's still excited.

Speaker 4 (18:30):
Ah, thank you, thank you. You know.

Speaker 3 (18:34):
So I took him home.

Speaker 1 (18:35):
I took him home, do you know, wheeled him in
his little wheelchair back to the car with the nurse,
took him home, nursed him the health passing the peas.

Speaker 7 (18:45):
So, my trolling ass wife went and bought like ten
thousand packs of peas right, and she stuffed the refrigerator
in our bedroom all of.

Speaker 4 (18:57):
Them with peas right.

Speaker 7 (18:58):
And every time she come by to remind me to
put my p's on, she gonna say.

Speaker 4 (19:03):
Past peas like you used to do past.

Speaker 3 (19:08):
What show is that from?

Speaker 1 (19:10):
It was his favorite, It was his favorite.

Speaker 3 (19:14):
I didn't think this whole thing out.

Speaker 1 (19:15):
Yeah, okay, but he was still pissed at me after
the fact because he was like, Yo, you ain't even
throw me no vaseect to me party.

Speaker 3 (19:24):
Everybody that I know had a vaseect tom me party.

Speaker 1 (19:27):
I said, de bell, I'm not trying to make fun
of the fact that you had this procedure done, bro, Like,
I don't want to make light of it.

Speaker 3 (19:34):
It was a medical procedure, so I don't want to
make fun of it. He was like, nah, because a
couple of my friends.

Speaker 1 (19:38):
They got it done and their wife was throwing a party.

Speaker 3 (19:40):
You didn't throw me no party.

Speaker 1 (19:41):
I said, Okay, okay, there's nothing to celebrate yet until
we go back to get the specimen tested to make
sure nothing's still swimming.

Speaker 3 (19:55):
Have we gone back yet for that sample to be tested?

Speaker 1 (20:01):
So until then, I'm gonna stay on this pill real quick,
and we have to get off this tour and little
though you know, check.

Speaker 3 (20:08):
Your calendar because Wednesday.

Speaker 7 (20:11):
You see you see how you see how she's trying to.

Speaker 4 (20:13):
Just blaze over.

Speaker 7 (20:14):
Take your calendar.

Speaker 4 (20:16):
It's fine.

Speaker 1 (20:16):
Check your calendar because on Wednesday morning, first thing, I
will assist you in collecting the specimen.

Speaker 3 (20:30):
Dry. I'm not leaving you out to dry. I will
assist you.

Speaker 1 (20:34):
We'll go get it, you know, sample tested. It'll be
a quick look under the microscope.

Speaker 4 (20:39):
Okay, can you get this? I need this this.

Speaker 7 (20:44):
She will be helping me get the specimen that is
whole milk. Now, we hope Wednesday morning night, Wednesday morning back,
I see that dead ass Wednesday morning.

Speaker 1 (20:59):
And then lets me know that everything is copasthetic. Y'all
all invited to the vasectomy party.

Speaker 3 (21:05):
How about that we can celebrate? All right?

Speaker 1 (21:22):
So, like I said, the show is about y'all. You know,
we got through storytime karaoke. We want to hear a
little bit from you. We want to get you a
little involved. Shout out to our producer.

Speaker 3 (21:31):
Who knows our producer's name, Trible. Unfortunately Triple could not
be with us.

Speaker 1 (21:37):
She normally opens up the show for us and supports
us through the whole process. She's supporting us from afar,
so giving und to applause to Trible who's not.

Speaker 3 (21:45):
Feeling too well. But she is on the end and
she's feeling better, and she said to give Shytown her best.

Speaker 1 (21:52):
Trible requested that some of you attended the show right
into Dead Ass Podcast, and we decided to play a
little bit of games with you guys.

Speaker 4 (22:04):
Okay, why cars, Well.

Speaker 3 (22:07):
You should have your own cards, hosts.

Speaker 4 (22:10):
I don't use cards.

Speaker 3 (22:12):
Listen.

Speaker 1 (22:12):
I was covering my paper in school, so you couldn't
cheat off.

Speaker 3 (22:16):
That was you, But you lucky you cue, I'm gonna
sare my paper.

Speaker 4 (22:22):
Stop study.

Speaker 3 (22:24):
That's a fact. Listen.

Speaker 1 (22:27):
So we decided to play a game, y'all wrote in Now,
let me first of all before we go there, how
many singles do.

Speaker 3 (22:34):
We have in the house tonight?

Speaker 1 (22:38):
Okay, single men, particularly any single men? There are never
single men in the audience single women, let me hear
from you.

Speaker 3 (22:53):
Listen.

Speaker 1 (22:54):
If I was the person into women, I would be
here to find my person.

Speaker 3 (22:57):
Don't you think we gotta get the word for other
single man to come through? That's what you're looking for.
It's here. How about married couples?

Speaker 4 (23:09):
Yo, my man stood up. Let's go you married men?
Un you see that? Because I know your struggle, baby.

Speaker 13 (23:29):
It ain't no struggle. How about how about any man
who don't even.

Speaker 3 (23:46):
Know who we are.

Speaker 1 (23:46):
But your wife brought you out here to come see
the show down right hand?

Speaker 3 (23:54):
How y'all are kids?

Speaker 4 (23:57):
I rock with you too, I rock with you.

Speaker 3 (24:00):
It's the matching kicks for me.

Speaker 7 (24:01):
Now, yup, you're gonna be getting matching for sector me.
But jamas later on, baby gonna be walking in there
like this.

Speaker 3 (24:10):
That's how we ease them in.

Speaker 4 (24:11):
That's how we starts with the sneakers.

Speaker 1 (24:14):
And anyone here with a boyfriend or girlfriend or partner
not married yet.

Speaker 3 (24:18):
But yeah right, yeah fabulous.

Speaker 1 (24:22):
So chances are all these cards. I have three couples.
Let's hope that your partner lets you know that they
wrote in, because some people will be wild surprised when
they hear their name and they hear a familiar story
and they're like, you did not sign me.

Speaker 3 (24:38):
Up for this.

Speaker 4 (24:38):
Let me tell you.

Speaker 7 (24:39):
We've been at cities and it was just like, we're
not gonna say their names. It was like, this couple
met in Brooklyn. They have two sons. Won't you hear
his damn shup? Come on, man, come on, sign up
for this yo.

Speaker 4 (24:54):
I was like, God, dang, he gotta come stand next
to me.

Speaker 1 (24:59):
No, no, no, I guess so we are going to
call up on these three couples.

Speaker 3 (25:05):
I will read the story if.

Speaker 1 (25:07):
It sounds familiar to you whoever wrote it in make
sure you hold your partner's hand on.

Speaker 4 (25:11):
The way up.

Speaker 1 (25:14):
You're gonna be on a toilet like the now, right,
all right, hold it down, now, hold it down.

Speaker 3 (25:19):
First couple, newlyweds.

Speaker 1 (25:23):
This couple has only been married for seven months, but
already have survived more than most couples will. A cancer diagnosis, guys, No, seriously,

(25:45):
a'll because I just got to the next sentence. A
cancer diagnosis and a mass shooting could have been the end.
But they're here today and more in love than ever.
Please welcome Marquise and Taylor to the stage.

Speaker 4 (26:00):
Here we go.

Speaker 3 (26:01):
What a story, y'all. Give a big round of a
pause to Marquise and so much. Come on, come on
down front here. How about your brother? I'm doing so well?
How are you so nice to meet you?

Speaker 7 (26:17):
This is the guy that was screaming come back. It's
nice to meet you, bro.

Speaker 1 (26:25):
Y'all can go on down this way.

Speaker 3 (26:32):
Okay, And.

Speaker 4 (26:34):
They got that's what I was lying, right?

Speaker 1 (26:38):
Are y'all from Brooklyn originally New York?

Speaker 3 (26:41):
Okay? The vibe is given very New York, y'all look great.
You see your wife smart man, smart man.

Speaker 7 (26:52):
Y'all already man matching the second? Me too, for y'all,
I'll pay for it.

Speaker 4 (26:58):
Up in the spell.

Speaker 3 (27:00):
Like trying to be.

Speaker 4 (27:02):
You gonna cut some nuts and discounts. Will cut some nuts.
You gonna cut some nuts. You gonna cut some nuts.
You gonna cut some nuts.

Speaker 1 (27:13):
You see, the second is the best thing you ever did.
He's so excited about it, y'all, so excited. All right,
our next couple. How many people can say their husband
waited five whole years until marriage to have sex?

Speaker 4 (27:28):
What that is? A strong man right there?

Speaker 3 (27:33):
Well this husband did no way. Now wait, it gets better,
It gets better. Hear the rest of the story.

Speaker 4 (27:47):
Come on up, y'all, come.

Speaker 3 (27:53):
All right before it's nicking devout. That's it for me.

Speaker 7 (27:57):
Wait stop wait wait stop wait, please stop Okay, Josh.

Speaker 4 (28:04):
Said, these exes are here for a reason.

Speaker 7 (28:08):
Couple one on the axe, I was told that on
follow directions. Josh got mad before the shower. Be like
thee be telling the people what to do the right way.
You just be all over the place. So you see
me being responsible.

Speaker 4 (28:20):
Step two that's not my problem. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 7 (28:24):
Josh should have checked the calendar, and Josh said, I
gotta stand right here.

Speaker 4 (28:29):
Yeah, don't be looking down at me. Yo. Know, I've
been dealing with this since college. I played with Marcus
Colston six four.

Speaker 7 (28:40):
I played with Calvin Johnson six five, and all they
used to stand over me.

Speaker 4 (28:44):
Who's up?

Speaker 7 (28:45):
Daval, Get the funk away from me? Man, anybody was
sixty three years Don't you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (28:53):
You're gonna patronize me.

Speaker 7 (28:54):
I appreciate that we're gonna be homeies before the end
of the effect.

Speaker 1 (29:01):
So let me finish the story, because I didn't even
get to get finished.

Speaker 3 (29:05):
Next story. Now, she slid into his DM's first.

Speaker 1 (29:09):
But once numbers were exchanged, look at you shooting your shot.
Sis high five on that because I shot my shot too.

Speaker 3 (29:17):
Tell youm yagom right hold on.

Speaker 4 (29:21):
You say what you said just now?

Speaker 2 (29:23):
I said, she's seen something she liked.

Speaker 4 (29:28):
You see one and the same, one and the same
that's it.

Speaker 3 (29:37):
Similar stories.

Speaker 1 (29:38):
Yeah, But once the numbers were exchanged, you guys courted
and learned how to love each other, or you actually
learned how to love her.

Speaker 3 (29:46):
The way she expected to be loved to look at y'all.
She doesn't know that, she wrote in So let's see
what he thinks about this. What do you think about this?

Speaker 4 (29:55):
Mind blown?

Speaker 3 (29:57):
Well, we're happy to have y'all here, giving up for Shaman. Yes,
this are some good stories.

Speaker 4 (30:06):
Let me tell you.

Speaker 1 (30:06):
We had a little struggle out in Detroit Hill, but
we won't talk about that, all right, So.

Speaker 3 (30:12):
It's a little awkward.

Speaker 4 (30:17):
It was just one guy in particular. Look, we just.

Speaker 3 (30:20):
Cut the game short. We're like, everybody go to sleep.

Speaker 4 (30:23):
In fact, everybody to be happy to be.

Speaker 3 (30:26):
Here, all right? High school sweethearts?

Speaker 1 (30:31):
Who's that about to embark on a big move from
Chicago down to the new.

Speaker 3 (30:37):
Black Hollywood, Atlanta, So we're gonna be neighbors.

Speaker 1 (30:41):
This couple is ready to follow their dreams, and they
think what better way to see them off than in
a room with another couple who made their own dreams happen.

Speaker 3 (30:48):
Oh that's so sweet. Give it up for Tyler and Amari.

Speaker 7 (30:55):
Looking couples up here.

Speaker 4 (30:58):
I need you to stand right.

Speaker 1 (31:00):
So, Josh, we're all following directions tonight. Yes, Josh, good, Josh,
Josh got familiar with Josh?

Speaker 3 (31:10):
All right?

Speaker 4 (31:12):
Josh Dave, we.

Speaker 1 (31:15):
Can't see, all right, We're great, all right.

Speaker 3 (31:19):
So we're gonna play a long game.

Speaker 14 (31:21):
Okay, trouble put together some black history, yep, some black
history content.

Speaker 1 (31:31):
And I know it's March, but black history is every day,
especially Alice Household, all right, so I know it's March fourth,
or we're gonna keep the celebration rolling, are y'all okay
with that?

Speaker 3 (31:45):
Okay? All right?

Speaker 1 (31:47):
So this first game, the first round is black history quotes.
Black cinema is indeed black history, and when it comes
to black movies, being able to quote them at any
given time is a valuable skill because you risk getting.

Speaker 3 (32:03):
Your black card revoked. Baby, So let's.

Speaker 4 (32:07):
See how many we gotta tell them what they're gonna
win though.

Speaker 3 (32:10):
Oh where they gonna win.

Speaker 7 (32:11):
If you win, you get two autographed T shirts from
Dead Ass Podcasts, and.

Speaker 3 (32:17):
Oh that's cute, and oh the's and a drink on me. Okay,
and no, that's it.

Speaker 4 (32:27):
That's enough. That's enough. These questions are not that hard.

Speaker 1 (32:32):
We hope, We hope because people were struggling in some
other states.

Speaker 3 (32:34):
Now, so let's see how many black.

Speaker 1 (32:36):
Movies you've seen by testing your black movie quote knowledge.

Speaker 3 (32:42):
Gendaval has the questions over there. Yes, you're ready to
dive in. You better cover your paper like I did.

Speaker 4 (32:52):
Well, excuse me, excuse me.

Speaker 1 (32:55):
So the way it's gonna work, it's gonna be multiple choice, right,
you were gonna decide amongst yourself what the answer is?

Speaker 3 (33:01):
Is it one A, two B or three C.

Speaker 1 (33:05):
After you decide amongst yourselves, we're gonna do a countdown,
and then after you hear the music finish, you guys
will both either put a one finger, two fingers or
three ABC understood. No cheating, y'all, don't be putting up
No numbers out there either cheat for you you, no lifelines,

(33:27):
none of that.

Speaker 7 (33:29):
The purpose of the game is to watch how couples communicate,
especially during times of stress.

Speaker 1 (33:36):
That's a fact stress.

Speaker 3 (33:38):
Question before we dive in. Is this a judgment free zone? Fabulous?
Because a dead ass podcast.

Speaker 1 (33:46):
One thing we want to do is make sure everyone
feels comfortable and no one feels judged.

Speaker 3 (33:49):
What you can do is do what de vo.

Speaker 4 (33:51):
You can hold your judgment till you get in your car.

Speaker 3 (33:57):
That'll be the same space.

Speaker 7 (33:58):
Damn here, no judge. Everybody was nice. Their answers is great.
You got your call that nigga stupid no judgments, No judgment.

Speaker 3 (34:15):
Question number one, take it away, Baby Players Club.

Speaker 7 (34:21):
In the cult classic Diamond, played by Lisa Ray, feuds
with her father over wanting to go to what fictional
HBCU don't scream it out. Is it a Southern tech?
Is it B Atlanta A and T? Or is it
C Atlanta Southern?

Speaker 4 (34:44):
All this this one is not easy.

Speaker 3 (34:48):
I'm gonna tell you. I need know to answer, y'all.

Speaker 4 (34:55):
Let's play think, thank take love, thank you.

Speaker 5 (34:58):
Gotta looking at a shot can a fish tank?

Speaker 4 (35:04):
All right?

Speaker 7 (35:05):
All right, we gotta get We gotta get these answers
back before Atlantic get I mean Chicago get turned up,
all right. Every time we turned the music on, it's
about to be the club in here.

Speaker 3 (35:15):
That's the facts. Every time this Saturday night, and I.

Speaker 7 (35:18):
Had a couple of drinks and I smoked, so I'll
be out there with you too, like, uh.

Speaker 1 (35:26):
Now, all right, on account of three put your fingers
out one.

Speaker 4 (35:30):
Two, three, Oh, y'all all got it wrong.

Speaker 7 (35:36):
It was a Southern.

Speaker 3 (35:43):
Lies lies. Y'all didn't know neither. I didn't know y'all was.

Speaker 7 (35:46):
Watching strip of movies back in the nineties.

Speaker 4 (35:49):
We know who all the freaks are now.

Speaker 3 (35:51):
That part reading zame books.

Speaker 1 (35:54):
Had no business reading zayme books, tell but was reading them?

Speaker 4 (36:00):
Number two.

Speaker 7 (36:02):
Friday, nobody better never get nothing wrong about Friday, the
late great Chicago legend.

Speaker 4 (36:11):
Bernie mac.

Speaker 7 (36:15):
Play the preacher of what church in the classic movie Friday?
Was it ebonez a Baptist Church? Was it seventy fourth
Street Baptist Church? Or was it compting?

Speaker 6 (36:31):
All right?

Speaker 4 (36:33):
That is it for the club on account of.

Speaker 3 (36:35):
Three one two three two.

Speaker 7 (36:42):
It's seventy fourth Street Baptist Church. Because around here between
a arm and knee and weston, we call this here
a little twin and twin twin.

Speaker 4 (36:55):
Meg, Thank you, thank you.

Speaker 3 (37:00):
That was great.

Speaker 4 (37:01):
I love Chicago, man, I'm bringing the boys.

Speaker 3 (37:03):
Here, all right.

Speaker 1 (37:04):
So that's one point one one point one, all right?

Speaker 4 (37:09):
On number three, number three, love Jones.

Speaker 3 (37:18):
That was a good one.

Speaker 1 (37:19):
That all the freaks in the front, all the freaks,
that was a good one.

Speaker 7 (37:25):
After Darius and Nina's first night hook up, Nina tells
her friend Josie that his dick just talked to me.

Speaker 4 (37:35):
What did it say? A love me? B Nina c run.

Speaker 3 (37:45):
All right, all right now.

Speaker 4 (37:46):
Who I think they know what the answer is?

Speaker 15 (37:50):
There?

Speaker 4 (37:50):
You go, all right?

Speaker 3 (37:51):
One, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead?

Speaker 4 (37:55):
Baby?

Speaker 1 (37:56):
On account of three, then one, two, three, we got.

Speaker 3 (38:00):
Two to two.

Speaker 7 (38:02):
Y'all young? So y'all probably ain't even watch Love Jones?

Speaker 4 (38:06):
How old are y'all? Are you? Twenty two? You are
you younger than the movie?

Speaker 7 (38:13):
That's not even fair. There was like Love Jones. Oh
my god, who wrote that?

Speaker 4 (38:18):
He's a ray? Fucking Love Jones? I'm just can we
see that on YouTube? Baby gotta watch Love Jones?

Speaker 1 (38:27):
Yeah right, you gotta watch Love Jones is a classic
if y'all give it in home movie night.

Speaker 3 (38:33):
Love Jones is a class.

Speaker 7 (38:34):
But I don't blame you for not knowing, though, because
twenty two, all right.

Speaker 4 (38:39):
That's the end of round one.

Speaker 3 (38:40):
In the lead, were they right?

Speaker 4 (38:42):
In the lead?

Speaker 7 (38:42):
It's a couple number one, okay, In second place it's
a couple number two, and the last place the youngest ones,
couple number three.

Speaker 1 (38:49):
So how about how do you feel about keeping a
couple number three around just because we feel bad for
them because they little babies and they didn't know.

Speaker 3 (38:55):
The answer to that.

Speaker 4 (38:56):
I'm with it, I'm with it. I'm with it.

Speaker 1 (38:58):
We're gonna give them grace and we're gonna let them
stay for Around to that cool.

Speaker 4 (39:02):
Yes, all right, go ahead, baby, all right.

Speaker 3 (39:05):
Now, round to y'all famous black couples.

Speaker 1 (39:12):
So our love for black love has been a staple
in black media over many years. In fact, the Ellis's
Family sitcom that you see on social media, who.

Speaker 3 (39:20):
Shout out to the YouTube channel who watches our videos.

Speaker 1 (39:24):
With the boys with our babies, it was inspired by
many of the black TV couples that we watched growing up.
So let's see how much you know about the relationships
that we saw on TV that shaped our idea of
love and everything in between.

Speaker 3 (39:38):
You ready, all right here, baby, I'm gonna hand this
over to you.

Speaker 4 (39:42):
I feel bad for the young couple of Game Man.

Speaker 3 (39:47):
She said, she said, you never know, She said, you
never know?

Speaker 4 (39:52):
All right.

Speaker 3 (39:53):
I have faith in y'all.

Speaker 1 (39:53):
Okay, you got faith and worst casever take an educated yees.

Speaker 4 (39:57):
Side hold on. She says, you got faith.

Speaker 3 (39:59):
Watch this its about chance to get it right.

Speaker 7 (40:01):
In the classic black sitcom Good Times, this is like
German to them, Gorge coovet skin Gorge covet skin times,
Covet skinny. They not gonna have no idea, y'all getting
drinks on me to know German?

Speaker 4 (40:23):
You didn't know I knew German.

Speaker 7 (40:24):
I had no idea learn something new every day. Watch out,
you better speak to me in Germany. You like that
ship right, sniff it, skimming it, drop it?

Speaker 3 (40:39):
So stupid shout go ahead, get me.

Speaker 7 (40:42):
Get back to the so y'all, y'all crazy. I'm trying
to be a professional. Can I be a professional host?

Speaker 4 (40:47):
Guys? Please? Y'all got no faith in me?

Speaker 7 (40:53):
In the classic black sitcom Good Times, what are the
names of J J, Michael and Thelma's parents?

Speaker 4 (41:01):
Is it A?

Speaker 7 (41:03):
Jed and Gemma Edwards, b Edda and Evan Michaels c.

Speaker 4 (41:10):
James and Florida Evans?

Speaker 7 (41:12):
All right, on the count of three, count down, baby
to us, one, two, three, you.

Speaker 4 (41:20):
Right?

Speaker 7 (41:21):
And the best part about it is they got that
with no help from the crowd at all.

Speaker 3 (41:26):
Not one bit.

Speaker 4 (41:28):
That was amazing at a bloomps line bloom.

Speaker 3 (41:34):
No idea how that happens?

Speaker 4 (41:36):
All right? In this episode of Fresh Prince of bel Air,
all right, yeah we're still fucking with.

Speaker 7 (41:44):
Will Lamey, Yeah yeah we are. Can't cancel Will Smith.
He survived a zombie apocalypse. You think you can cancel
a nigga that ain't here nobody for years? Come on,
and just recently escaped slavery. Did y'all go see Emancipation?

Speaker 4 (42:06):
Fire? That movie is fire.

Speaker 7 (42:09):
If you have kids of age to understand that I'm
telling you this is not me joking, take them to
see Emancipation and learn the story telling you Apple TV watch,
It's a great movie. In the episode of Fresh Prince
of bel Air, did the Earth move for you?

Speaker 4 (42:28):
Will? Got stuck in the basement? Sit in on a tricycle?
Girl getting all my nurse?

Speaker 7 (42:36):
I thought she was fine, don't know with a body
is hers? I guess y'all seen it on a day
played by what famous actress? A Tisha Campbell B Jasmine
guy see nil long?

Speaker 4 (42:58):
All right?

Speaker 3 (43:00):
You want to give nan this one more time?

Speaker 4 (43:02):
Do y'all need to hear one more time? Y'all got it?

Speaker 3 (43:04):
I got it all right on ac count of.

Speaker 4 (43:06):
Three one two? Oh, okay, you say you needed one
more time? Is it?

Speaker 7 (43:11):
A t Sha Campbell B Jasmine guy see Nia long
one two?

Speaker 3 (43:19):
Three?

Speaker 12 (43:22):
Oh?

Speaker 7 (43:24):
Hey, hey, hey, we said no judgments. Turn the baby's
eyes away, turn the baby no, no, come on, guys, don't.

Speaker 4 (43:39):
Do that to them their children. Can we give them
around them? Applause?

Speaker 3 (43:44):
Please? It was Gina before gin yo, ma.

Speaker 7 (43:54):
I heard somebody over here and say get them before
come parder here. No, no, we gotta stop that.

Speaker 1 (44:03):
No.

Speaker 3 (44:03):
I believe the children are our future. Teach them well
and let them.

Speaker 4 (44:08):
Lead the way. Thank you.

Speaker 3 (44:12):
You're welcome these babies over here. Let me stay close.

Speaker 4 (44:18):
Cover them, please cover them. I will cover them. I
will thank you.

Speaker 7 (44:23):
All right, last question before they get hostile in here.
In season one of my favorite sitcom, y'all really know me?

Speaker 4 (44:38):
Huh, y'all know me. I love Martin.

Speaker 7 (44:56):
Shout out Marty, mam my lords, Martin gets a blast
from the past from his first crush, his first grade teacher.

Speaker 4 (45:08):
What was her name? Ay, Miss James b Miss Trinidad.

Speaker 6 (45:15):
See yeah, everybody get shirts, everybody drinks.

Speaker 1 (45:44):
So at this point in the show, you guys can
take over and ask us some questions.

Speaker 3 (45:50):
Okay, so don't be shy.

Speaker 1 (45:52):
Just make your way either to the Nora's side or
to Josh's side.

Speaker 3 (45:56):
Come on up.

Speaker 4 (45:56):
See a couple of hands, then.

Speaker 3 (45:58):
Come on up and we'll get into this portion of
the show.

Speaker 4 (46:06):
Give me a little yeah, jump out boys as Nike boys.
I've been our coach way to me.

Speaker 11 (46:11):
Okay, ready, all.

Speaker 4 (46:22):
Right, okay, hey y'all.

Speaker 16 (46:25):
I'm super super sex to be here. What's super crazy
is that I didn't even have to take it to
come to the show today, and I waited till the
very last person to get here, me and my boyfriend.
I literally pulled him and said, we're coming tonight. Shout
out to Miley, my girl. She was behind us and
she was like, you know what you should say, and
look we're here.

Speaker 3 (46:45):
So thank you godday.

Speaker 16 (46:49):
I have a really big question that I'm sure answering anine.

Speaker 4 (46:56):
Sorry, my brother, I know you wanted to watch the
bulls tonight. He like it is some bullshit.

Speaker 16 (47:04):
So we met in college and so long story story,
we've been together for eight years. We just got our house,
but we are not married yet, and so my my lifestyle.

Speaker 7 (47:15):
Is it's get a pressure.

Speaker 4 (47:17):
What I see, I see two chips stand up behind
him like this, what's up?

Speaker 15 (47:22):
Though?

Speaker 7 (47:22):
What's sure you careful over there?

Speaker 16 (47:28):
But like I grew up with two parent household. My
parents have been together for thirty one years married and
he is not. So when I went into this, I
was like, Okay, I know that we came from two
different backgrounds, but the one of the things that I
loved about him is that he was willing to learn.
So but now that we're here, what advice can you give?
Mainly from a man's perspective, and I guess from one's

(47:50):
perspective too, Like grandson, I absolutely love him, But should I.

Speaker 3 (47:54):
Stay that should I say I promise? No, no, I promise.
That's not not quite that's a question. Wait what no.

Speaker 7 (48:03):
Damn Chicago Chicago. Remember we said no touchment Chicago, Chicago.
She asked a question. We're going to give her an answer.

Speaker 3 (48:17):
Baby girl.

Speaker 7 (48:19):
All right, I'm gonna answer the question. I'm gonna answer
the question. I'm gonna answer the question.

Speaker 16 (48:24):
All right, Okay, what advice would you give him to
know that? Okay, I'm going as I said, we just
got a house, he just got me a puppy, so
we're definitely building.

Speaker 1 (48:37):
Right.

Speaker 4 (48:38):
So this is the advice I'm going to give both.

Speaker 3 (48:42):
Of you together for how long is said eight years?

Speaker 7 (48:46):
This is the advice I'm going to give both of you.
All right, remember one second were almost second people. The
first advice is this timeline that You have never put
a time table on God's gifts. If you say you
have to get married by a certain time or you
gotta get engaged at a certain time, pretty much you

(49:07):
telling God, I have a plan, and my plan has
to be this right now.

Speaker 4 (49:13):
That's what I'll say about that time.

Speaker 7 (49:16):
But I will also say this, if you're being direct
and honest with him about what you require to be
his girlfriend and you want to be.

Speaker 4 (49:24):
A wife, express that to him.

Speaker 7 (49:26):
He then has to decide if that's what he wants
to do. There's no amount of pressure you can give
him that's gonna make him want to do that. And
what you can then decide to do is if you're
not happy with this situation, you have every right to
say I'm gonna move on to somebody else that will
And that's just the truth. Don't don't put no pressure

(49:46):
on anybody else. Don't let society put pressure on you.

Speaker 3 (49:50):
Don't let this audience put pressure on you.

Speaker 7 (49:52):
Right, my man, my man, don't let anybody put pressure
on you about when you're supposed to make.

Speaker 4 (50:00):
That move, Because I'll tell you.

Speaker 7 (50:01):
Like this, we don't know if this man is like ready,
but I do know this. He brought you a home
that costs money, right, brought you a.

Speaker 4 (50:09):
Dog that costs money. Right. He's definitely investing in you.

Speaker 7 (50:13):
You don't know if he's saving up more money to
get the ring that he wants you to have, saving
money to give you the wedding that to have. And
this is why I say you don't ever say shit,
I leave him. You know what I'm saying, y'all, No, no, no, seriously, seriously,
hold on, seriously, seriously, don't.

Speaker 4 (50:30):
I don't want you to feel judged because it's a
fair question. How old are you twenty nine? You're still young.

Speaker 3 (50:37):
You were me at You're still young.

Speaker 7 (50:39):
Right, And we do understand that the biological clock is
a real thing. So for any man to just be like,
wait until I'm ready, it's unfair. But what y'all can
do is have a conversation and decide when y'all already
and be honest about what you want. That's the only
advice I can give. I can't give you a date.
I can't tell him he needs to, you know what
I'm saying. Talk to each other and tell you what
y'all want.

Speaker 1 (51:00):
Understand the timeline and the checklist, because I've been there
as well too with Deval. They drug de Val and
I through the mud when we had an episode where
we spoke about monogamy and me telling Deval what I
required from the relationship based on the same timeline I
had in my head.

Speaker 3 (51:13):
Right, I'm approaching twenty seven, I'm like, man, I was
supposed to be engaged.

Speaker 1 (51:17):
By now, I'm supposed to be married, have my first
kid by thirty.

Speaker 3 (51:19):
Like, where are we going with this? You know?

Speaker 1 (51:21):
So every man has a plan, especially if he's intentional
and purposeful about you.

Speaker 4 (51:27):
Okay, there you go.

Speaker 3 (51:29):
So trust is time. I'm babe.

Speaker 7 (51:33):
This time, and I could tell he's a good guy.
He held the camera up the entire even with you
asking that while last question. But if that was me,
I'd have been luck.

Speaker 3 (51:49):
That's a fact.

Speaker 4 (51:54):
That I would have been out. Can't have been like, wait,
where are you going? But he held that camera up though, Yo.

Speaker 3 (52:04):
Shout out to y'all. All the best to you, and
congrats on the new house and the puppy.

Speaker 4 (52:09):
Yes, congrats.

Speaker 3 (52:10):
All right, Well, switch over to josh as side here. Hey, there,
hell out, queen. How are you today? I am so well,
I'm so happy you're here. How are you? What's your name.
My name is Angela. Hi, Angela, Hi. My question is
for you.

Speaker 16 (52:23):
Yes, now you've seen your dreams come true with your husband,
you've seen him accomplish his career.

Speaker 3 (52:29):
Yes, what is your goals?

Speaker 4 (52:31):
Girl?

Speaker 1 (52:32):
I'll y'all ready, because listen, sometimes when you tell people
their dreams, you have to be careful with them because
you know they're not gonna hold on to it and
revere you the.

Speaker 3 (52:43):
Same way you do. But I feel like y'all will rever.

Speaker 1 (52:45):
Me right I I'm actually and I'll be a little
vulnerable vulnerable right now. At the end of last year,
I kind of felt like I was in a place
of discomfort. I felt very uncomfortable with just where I
was as Kadeen, right because y'all see me as Kadeen

(53:05):
the wife, Kadeen the mom. You know Kadin on Instagram,
the content creator, podcaster. But after having Dakota, getting through
that first year a little bit of postpartum I wouldn't
say depression, but just getting through the kinks of postpartum,
a bit of depression. I was struggling, and I feel
like I'm still even now starting to figure out what

(53:26):
it is that I want to do now. Right went
to school for broadcast journalism, have my master's in speech
communication and performance graduating mad.

Speaker 4 (53:39):
Don't sell yourself short, baby, thank you. I appreciate that.
I know because I cheated off you.

Speaker 3 (53:46):
He changed his whole major to B.

Speaker 1 (53:48):
Yes, I did.

Speaker 4 (53:52):
Go ahead and finished.

Speaker 3 (53:53):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (53:54):
But I feel like I'm in a place of discomfort
right now, y'all. I'm gonna be completely honest because I'm
still trying to figure out what the rest of my
life is going to look like.

Speaker 3 (54:02):
I'll be forty in December, okay, and I feel like
I've invested.

Speaker 1 (54:09):
A large portion of my adult life into my family.
So I'm trying to figure things out. And I'll be honest,
I don't have it all figured out. But you know
what's helping me.

Speaker 3 (54:19):
Thank you?

Speaker 1 (54:20):
Thank you because I can come and rattle off a
bunch of dreams and this is what I'm doing to
make it seem like I'm so busy doing all these things.

Speaker 3 (54:26):
And I am busy, don't get me wrong, But.

Speaker 1 (54:29):
I feel like that discomfort it just means that there's growth.
The discomfort means that there's something on the other side.
So instead of shying away from that now, y'all, I'm
leaning into it. I'm leaning into it. We hit the
ground running twenty twenty three. We were on a couple
of daytime talk shows, Today's show, tammeron Hall. Anybody caught
those episodes, and I'll share a little tidbit with you.

(54:53):
Donorra after one of the interviews that we did, said
we had a broadcast agent reach out to you or
to us about you, and I was like, maybe my
broadcasting dreams will come true? Maybe will I mean, can
y'all see that it's giving talk shoall.

Speaker 3 (55:15):
I mean, it's giving radio hosts.

Speaker 1 (55:17):
Whatever the Good Lord has in store for me, I
receive it.

Speaker 3 (55:21):
I'm willing to do the work now.

Speaker 1 (55:22):
And I have a partner, my boys, my mom, my dad,
a family, a village who really just support me, y'all,
you know who support me. So thank you for asking that,
because far too long and far too often women kind
of get lost in the shuffle of just tending to
kids and tending to the husband in the house. And
you know, I'm just looking forward to what's next for me.

(55:44):
So I'm still trying to figure it out. It's a
short answer, but whatever it is, I know it's going
to be.

Speaker 3 (55:48):
In God's time.

Speaker 1 (55:48):
It's going to be so amazing, and I appreciate y'all
always supporting.

Speaker 4 (55:51):
Me, for sure.

Speaker 1 (55:53):
I'm leaning into that discomfort y'all, and see where we
end up next up.

Speaker 4 (56:00):
Man. No, it's just it's funny to hear you. See
how you flirted with me, right, don't play with me
you be pregnant. No, I can make them come back.
I make all come back. Keep playing with me.

Speaker 3 (56:14):
You know why I picked that doctor too. That doctor
was top with reversals dress in case we're feeling funky
one day. I'm just kidding.

Speaker 4 (56:22):
Yeah, I know, I know you want me to get
it's fair. Mm hmm. That girl is not happening. My
sons will marry very nice girls. Yes, there you go.

Speaker 1 (56:36):
I manifesting wonderful daughters and law granddaughters, whatever whatever.

Speaker 4 (56:40):
I'm just gonna say this real quick though.

Speaker 7 (56:42):
It's funny to hear you say you don't know why
actually walking in your purpose. You are a webbe award
winning podcaster. You do dead ass podcast live shows. You
are a talk show host. Right now, we interviewed Sterling K.
Brown and Regina Hall in Atlanta. You are doing it.
You're a high earner. You make a ton of money
doing things that you do with your family, like your

(57:03):
your version of life doesn't have to look like what
you wanted it to look like. It's happening. It's happening.

Speaker 3 (57:09):
I guess I don't give myself.

Speaker 4 (57:11):
You don't give yourself no credit. You try to play small.

Speaker 3 (57:14):
It's that Jamaican in me. I got mad jobs.

Speaker 7 (57:16):
And trying to do mad things once and you're doing
them well.

Speaker 4 (57:19):
And I'm gonna big your ass up. You ain't gonna
be playing small.

Speaker 17 (57:24):
Yes, okay, Hello, I just wanted to say I'm very
proud of you all. I've been a fan since you
are in Brooklyn, yeah, following your kids. And I'm glad
the podcast restarted because I know it had to stop
for COVID.

Speaker 3 (57:40):
I'm not from Chicago, so I came here with friends
to see you all. Thank you for that.

Speaker 4 (57:45):
Thank you.

Speaker 3 (57:46):
But my question is I look to you all as a.

Speaker 17 (57:48):
Successful black couple and I just want to know, as
a single young black woman, what advice would you give
the dating scene is really it's a struggle.

Speaker 4 (57:56):
Let me just say that I heard.

Speaker 3 (58:00):
Give to a.

Speaker 17 (58:01):
Single black girl in the day and scene as a
single woman from the want of me.

Speaker 1 (58:06):
So I haven't been in this dating scene in a minute,
says I don't think I hadn't really got into it.

Speaker 7 (58:15):
To be honest, this is the only tip I will
give you pause.

Speaker 4 (58:19):
I gotta grow up. I can't help myself.

Speaker 7 (58:22):
But no, I would say this, this, This is something
that most people don't ever say to women. I'm gonna
say it to you, Okay, don't sit back and wait
for a suitor to come and sweep you off your feet.
This woman came in got me. She came and said
DIVI and Brian Ellis. She gave me her phone number.
I called her all summer she was working. I couldn't

(58:42):
get in contact with her. She then came to the
school and found me like she wasn't just sitting back
like I'm gonna wait. No, be deliberate about what you
want in life. And that's not even just about love.
That's about everything, right, Like oftentimes we sit back and
we just like, I hope this happens.

Speaker 4 (58:57):
I hope that. No, don't hope it make it.

Speaker 7 (59:00):
Wake up in the morning and say, I'm gonna go ahead,
I'm gonna see someone. If I'm interested in that guy,
I'm gonna walk up to that guy and say something
to him. What's the worst he could say, I'm not interested.
Don't be afraid of rejection, because all it takes is
one person to fall in love with you.

Speaker 4 (59:15):
And make you that queen. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (59:18):
That's a fact.

Speaker 4 (59:19):
That's it.

Speaker 7 (59:19):
So don't hide behind societal norms till I gotta wait.

Speaker 4 (59:24):
Go get it, Go get it.

Speaker 1 (59:25):
And in the social media age, it's so hard to navigate.
I can imagine just the dating scene or trying to
meet people. People's into personal communication skills suck, you know,
trying to even start a conversation with someone with their
attention span.

Speaker 3 (59:37):
It's probably you know, not even anymore.

Speaker 1 (59:40):
But also to one tip I can give you, and
I think that it would work for me maybe if
I was dating now. Is just making sure that you're
showing up as your authentic self. I feel like a
lot of people have this facade that they keep up,
this representative of themselves, and I'm like.

Speaker 3 (59:53):
No, be who you are and who is for you will.

Speaker 1 (59:56):
Naturally find you, because the last thing you want to
do is find somebody on the false sen isn't having
to keep that up. The authenticity, the organic you needs
to shine through. So good luck out there.

Speaker 4 (01:00:06):
Girl.

Speaker 1 (01:00:07):
Don't be afraid to shoot your shot because I shot
my shot straight buckets, y'all.

Speaker 3 (01:00:12):
Curry gift, Steph Curry.

Speaker 4 (01:00:16):
Sorryboy.

Speaker 7 (01:00:17):
Jackson scored twelve points to nineties AU basketball game.

Speaker 1 (01:00:19):
Yeah, shoutut, today's game over.

Speaker 7 (01:00:22):
Now, it's over now, twelve score. I rebounds for assists,
three turnovers. We're gonna clean up the turnovers, you know,
don't clean up.

Speaker 3 (01:00:29):
He's still play well.

Speaker 1 (01:00:30):
He played well, he's still learning, trying to be parents
and be on stage at the same time.

Speaker 3 (01:00:33):
Y'all did Cairo Cairo probably the ref No.

Speaker 7 (01:00:39):
Cairo was pissed because I wouldn't let him play tackle
football and I only met him play flag football. So
every week he scored six touchdowns on six carries, and
when he came back, he said, this isn't even real football.

Speaker 4 (01:00:52):
He didn't celebrate.

Speaker 7 (01:00:53):
He would just score the touchdown and walk right to
me and just drop the ball.

Speaker 1 (01:00:57):
Was coaching the team, so I was trying to be like,
you know, he's trying to disperse the ball to different
kids and they're running in the wrong direction or whatever,
and Kyrol was like, why don't you just pass me
the ball?

Speaker 3 (01:01:08):
I'm going to make the touchdown dad.

Speaker 7 (01:01:10):
But here's the worst part, right, I'm trying to have
a moment with him, right, and I'm just like, listen,
you gotta learn how to share. Other of the dads
come when we start losing a are we gonna give
Kyrol the ball? I'm like, they're like, we're trying to win,
like my kids want to win.

Speaker 4 (01:01:23):
They're happy when they win.

Speaker 1 (01:01:25):
All right, fine, I was like, you're right, your kids
eating grass over there.

Speaker 3 (01:01:28):
So ship here we are, all right, who's next?

Speaker 4 (01:01:33):
I was doing well?

Speaker 3 (01:01:34):
Low, thank you for asking? What's up? Brother?

Speaker 4 (01:01:36):
Hey? How are you doing? Jeremy? Jeremy?

Speaker 5 (01:01:40):
Hey, I just got married yesterday?

Speaker 6 (01:01:44):
Congratulations y'all married yesterday, y'all here today.

Speaker 3 (01:01:50):
I feel honored?

Speaker 4 (01:01:51):
Yes three? So okay, so.

Speaker 3 (01:01:55):
Cute advice for it's a vibe.

Speaker 7 (01:02:00):
Any advice, I would say. The biggest thing, how long
y'all known each other? Y'all been together six years.

Speaker 4 (01:02:08):
I'm gonna quarius you a scorpio, so we Oh okay.

Speaker 7 (01:02:12):
So y'all, he said, realize that what.

Speaker 4 (01:02:21):
He said popping, and we'll be getting the popping kids.

Speaker 7 (01:02:25):
I would say, from this point on, right, you have
to understand that everything you're gonna figure out in your
life is gonna come from within these two people.

Speaker 4 (01:02:35):
We hate the term couple goals. We freaking hate it.

Speaker 7 (01:02:39):
You want to know why no couple can imitate another
couple better than that couple is themselves already, so you
will always fall.

Speaker 4 (01:02:47):
Short and feel inadequate.

Speaker 7 (01:02:50):
Build the life you want by talking to each other
saying exactly what you want.

Speaker 4 (01:02:55):
And here's the last piece of advice.

Speaker 7 (01:02:57):
If you ask your wife how she feels about something
and she's said, don't judge her about how she feels, listen, understand,
try to explain why you.

Speaker 4 (01:03:06):
Did what you did, but don't judge her.

Speaker 7 (01:03:08):
If your husband tells you he feels a certain way,
don't judge him about how he feels.

Speaker 4 (01:03:15):
Just say, I understand where you're coming from. This is
what I meant to do.

Speaker 7 (01:03:17):
I think the first five years of our marriage we
suffered a lot because every time Kate told me how
she felt about it, I judged her. And what I
tried to do is change her mind about how she felt.
And you can't win that way. You know what I'm saying.
I slapped her on the leg and she's like devo.
That hurts I was the guy that's trying to tell
you how I slapped you here, it shouldn't hurt. That's you,

(01:03:37):
you know what I'm saying, or you be liking a slap.

Speaker 4 (01:03:42):
Sometimes it depends on where it is.

Speaker 3 (01:03:45):
It's time and place for everything.

Speaker 4 (01:03:46):
Now you will get pregnant. I will. It's and we're
gonna name the baby Chicago. Keep playing with me, Keep
playing with me, keep.

Speaker 3 (01:03:55):
Playing with me.

Speaker 7 (01:03:57):
But no, when we started to put that in our
relationship and we were together twenty years, twenty years we've
been together. We just figured this out two years ago.
So being married is going to take time and work.
If it doesn't, if it doesn't feel the greatest after
year one, year two, year three, you don't feel like

(01:04:17):
abandoned ship.

Speaker 12 (01:04:18):
Nope.

Speaker 1 (01:04:18):
Our first five years were trashed, rash, right. We were
like literally divorced and remarried within the marriage in the
first five years or three times.

Speaker 4 (01:04:26):
Like literally it was bad.

Speaker 3 (01:04:27):
Literally.

Speaker 1 (01:04:28):
But you know what helped, and this actually helped recently
because you would think that we've been together twenty years
we should have everything figured out.

Speaker 3 (01:04:33):
We don't, because we're still learning.

Speaker 1 (01:04:35):
Each other on a day day basis a thing that
helped change things for me and my perspective, and I'll
speak to you as.

Speaker 3 (01:04:39):
A wife, a new wife at that.

Speaker 1 (01:04:44):
Deval asked me one morning going into twenty twenty one,
what I think about the first thing in the morning, right?
And I said, oh, when I wake up, you know,
thank God for another day, and then think about what
I got to do, right looking at the calendar that
I look at that he doesn't look at, and it's
like what I have to do for work, deadlines, kids,

(01:05:05):
you know, activities, all that in between. And he was like,
do you realize that you didn't mention me once? And
I was like heartbroken, Like how could I not even
consider my husband in my day because I just expect
him and typically most black men we just expect. Now,

(01:05:26):
husband's listen, right, and we just I just expect him
to have everything figured out because he's the man. He's
the protector, he's the provider. He's always made me feel
like he's good. So if I'm not taking care of him,
then how can he take care of us?

Speaker 3 (01:05:44):
So I said, you're absolutely right.

Speaker 1 (01:05:48):
And what's helped us most recently to get back to
this place that we're in where we're just like so
madly in love again, is just taking the time to
be invested in what he needs on a day to
day basis, and as simple as as just asking you
what he may do and what he may need in
that day.

Speaker 3 (01:06:04):
How can I make your day?

Speaker 1 (01:06:05):
Brider babe? What do you need from me today? Do
you know your schedule? Like simple questions and just forward
thinking the things that he may need is then freeing
up time for him, but also giving him the desire
to want to pour back into me. And then I
am like, wow, now you're taking the time to think

(01:06:28):
about me.

Speaker 3 (01:06:30):
I thought about you me.

Speaker 7 (01:06:31):
It caught the spirit. He got his hand up in
the air. The doors of the church are now open.
We would like to pass this play for the building
of renovation for that part.

Speaker 1 (01:06:46):
But no, seriously, all that literally caused this like reciprocal
effect of where we're both constantly pouring into each other.
And it could be the simplest thing, but just feeling
like your spouse is invested every day making that choice
every day to show up for you.

Speaker 3 (01:07:07):
Yeah, I'm gonna be all right, Ya gonna be right.
Hope that helps. Congrats to y'all, y'all honeymoon and soon
or not. Okay, take your time, enjoy it, enjoy it,
love that. Heysis.

Speaker 18 (01:07:20):
Yeah, mister nor opinion, I'm a fan of you. I'm
a fan of you too.

Speaker 1 (01:07:25):
Norah has fans to y'all, to Josh, Hey, y'all.

Speaker 3 (01:07:30):
So I don't have a relationship question. Unfortunately I don't
single recoding go out here.

Speaker 18 (01:07:37):
But as a person who's recently started to really bet
on themselves, like really in the past two years, what
advice would you have as somebody who's I've been lucky
and fortunate enough to have people who you know, do
believe in me.

Speaker 3 (01:07:52):
I do have a support system.

Speaker 18 (01:07:53):
But they don't really get it. I don't really have
a lot of people I can count on, even though
I know I have support. What would be like your
advice besides, like, you know, just push through, keep doing
because you know, stopping isn't an option. But I don't
want to get in my own way what you're starting.

Speaker 7 (01:08:08):
Your own business among other things.

Speaker 3 (01:08:11):
Yes, yes, you.

Speaker 4 (01:08:13):
Got to be clear. I'm sorry, I don't know what
the fuck are you talking about. No, no, but I'm
trying to.

Speaker 7 (01:08:21):
Understand, and you, like, people don't support me, and I'm trying.

Speaker 4 (01:08:24):
To support you. But I said, you start a business
and you like, maybe maybe.

Speaker 3 (01:08:31):
Not, You're trying to figure it out.

Speaker 4 (01:08:33):
I want to support you, baby, bro.

Speaker 18 (01:08:36):
I'm up here, fangirl and I'm doing the best I
can look. But no, like I just started, I started
my own business. I've been trying to do acting since
I was like thirteen. I had my first role when
I was eighteen, and it's been plugging along and stuff
like that. You know, I want to, you know, build
a legacy from my family.

Speaker 7 (01:08:51):
I got you. You know you're talking about purpose. Yes, yes,
this is the biggest thing you gotta understand about purpose.
Have a fiscal plan, right, My purpose was always to
get to TV. And every time I had a dream
and could Dean stop me if I'm lying my dream.

Speaker 4 (01:09:08):
Always had a plan to make money while.

Speaker 7 (01:09:11):
I'm chasing my dream so that I don't have to
be a starving artist.

Speaker 4 (01:09:14):
Right.

Speaker 7 (01:09:14):
When you have a way to generate revenue on your own,
you then be able to have autonomy over your time.
Make choices that are going to help you push your
dream forward. You won't have to ask so many people
for help.

Speaker 4 (01:09:26):
Because you support yourself.

Speaker 7 (01:09:27):
But then you'll also have time to focus on what
that dream actually is.

Speaker 4 (01:09:31):
It always starts with a fiscal plan.

Speaker 7 (01:09:33):
So you have to say to yourself, like you want
to act right, how can I act and be able?

Speaker 4 (01:09:38):
And this would be my thought process.

Speaker 7 (01:09:39):
If I'm your age right now, how can I act
and still be able to support myself?

Speaker 4 (01:09:44):
I got to get a job. Wait a minute, If
I get.

Speaker 7 (01:09:46):
A job, I have to get a job that works
certain hours so that I can go to auditions.

Speaker 4 (01:09:50):
Right.

Speaker 7 (01:09:51):
So it's like, let me figure out a trade where
I can work a trade and have different type of hours.
What I did was I said to Okay, I said,
I studied exercise physiology and can you theology. I'm gonna
get my certifications to be a trainer. If I'm a trainer,
I can take my clients around my acting schedule. It
allowed me an opportunity to make money while chasing my dream.

(01:10:11):
Because if you don't know how to put yourself in
a position to support yourself, you'll always be forced to
do things you don't want to do. And if you're
an actor, you're gonna get out here and somebody gonna say.

Speaker 4 (01:10:24):
To you, if you want to get on, you have
to do this.

Speaker 7 (01:10:26):
And if them lights cut off tomorrow, you want to
be able to walk away from something that say that's
not mine anymore, just like me walking.

Speaker 4 (01:10:33):
Here to play inmate number three.

Speaker 7 (01:10:36):
Only reason why I could walk away is because at
the time I owned a gym. I got my degree
from HOFTRA, so I was doing a color commentary for
MSG Varsity, I was doing substitute teaching and now's with
Regional High School.

Speaker 4 (01:10:47):
And I just did.

Speaker 7 (01:10:48):
I made as much money and revenue as I can
and I saved it so that when my time came
to focus on my dream, I could do it.

Speaker 4 (01:10:55):
On my terms.

Speaker 1 (01:10:58):
Good stuff. Hope that helps it and coming out all right,
Hey there, hello, there you go?

Speaker 4 (01:11:11):
Or how you doing. My name is Seanelle.

Speaker 19 (01:11:13):
I've been following you guys for a long time, so
I love you.

Speaker 4 (01:11:16):
Oh we love you back, Seanell. Thank you. Honestly.

Speaker 19 (01:11:19):
My question is I have a eleven year old daughter
about to turn eleven, and around the time I started
following you guys, is when you was having Jackson and
going through it with Kiro And I just want to
ask this question as a parent because I am a
single mother, but I have a great relationship with her father.
Were co parent well, but lately I've been trying to
balance you know, working, having her, being there for her

(01:11:41):
and her activities, but still kind of getting lost within
myself and kind of been into what lately, but still
trying to feel like, am I keeping up with her grades?
Am I doing what I'm supposed to do as a parent,
but still taking care of myself. So I want to know,
from y'all's perspective of having a busy schedule and being
active parents, how do.

Speaker 4 (01:12:00):
You keep that balance?

Speaker 19 (01:12:01):
How are you able to feel like you're involved in
your children's life making sure that they're doing what they're
supposed to do, but yet just making sure your mental
health is good and that you're just checking up on
yourself and making sure your kids is good. Because if
you're not healthy, your kids are not healthy.

Speaker 3 (01:12:15):
That is the whole fact.

Speaker 1 (01:12:16):
Actually, in the book, one of the chapters is called
the Kids Ain't First, And we got a little bit
of backlash from that, people like, how could your children
not be first?

Speaker 3 (01:12:24):
I mean, they depend on you, you know, they came
here because of you.

Speaker 1 (01:12:27):
But Deval and I realized, if we're not mentally in check,
if we're just not in check as a couple, as
the head of the household and the leaders, if we're
not in Unison.

Speaker 3 (01:12:36):
Nothing flows. The children feel it. They're off. They can
sense the energy.

Speaker 1 (01:12:42):
One time, Deval and I had an argument when Jackson
was about four years old.

Speaker 3 (01:12:46):
Was it?

Speaker 1 (01:12:46):
He was five, is in kindergarten and we were arguing
over something stupid. It was like the stroller or something
like that. The stroller argument. And that morning Jackson was
supposed to go to school and Deval took them to
school and they normally have their little handshake that they
do and Jackson gets out of the car, and that
morning Deval just you know, said all right, you know
later and kind of let Jackson go into school.

Speaker 7 (01:13:07):
We will arguing so long that we were late to school.
I typically put on the radio and I'm driving in
the car, listen to the radio.

Speaker 4 (01:13:13):
There was no radio one.

Speaker 7 (01:13:14):
We typically get out do our handshake that you've seen
us do so many times. He get out the car,
he's already late for school, and he's like, Daddy, we
ain't do a handshake.

Speaker 4 (01:13:21):
I was like, just goingside the school.

Speaker 7 (01:13:22):
You late, not realizing that I was projecting all of
my anger that Kadeen and I were going through on him.

Speaker 4 (01:13:28):
So then he walked into school. I took off.

Speaker 7 (01:13:30):
We went back and finished our conversation, and.

Speaker 1 (01:13:33):
We always finished our conversation and then Jackson Deval goes
to pick Jackson up.

Speaker 3 (01:13:37):
From school at the end of the day.

Speaker 7 (01:13:39):
Now and every day when I picked Jackson up from school,
he runs out and jumps in my arms. On this day,
all the kids came out. I'm like, yohe's Jackson. He's
walking out the last I'm like, yo, what's the matter, bro?

Speaker 4 (01:13:55):
He says to me, Are you still mad at me?
When I tell you?

Speaker 7 (01:13:59):
I felt like the biggest piece of shit because I said,
I have one job as a father, and that's to
make sure that my children wake up feel like they
can be the best version of themselves, go to school
and be that person in school. But instead I sent
my child to school wondering if his dad was mad
at him. So all day he's not the best version

(01:14:19):
of hisself because it's something I did. And I realized that,
And it also made me realize that if I do
that to my son, I probably do that to my wife.

Speaker 4 (01:14:28):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 7 (01:14:29):
So it's like you start to learn as a parent
that everything you're going through you project on your children.
Even when you hide it. So I think what Kadean
was saying, well, you can finish it.

Speaker 3 (01:14:37):
That was the story with the story of Honey.

Speaker 1 (01:14:39):
But I just say that to say that children feel
and they know everything, and I mean it's difficult for
us think about it. We've been traveling since the year started,
and yesterday during the Detroit show, Deval promised Jackson that
he would call him before his first game. At eight
thirty pm, we were on stage in the Detroit show
and we let the audience know, hey, guys, we have

(01:14:59):
to FaceTime, so everybody sat quiet in the background. We
facetimed him on stage in the middle of the show,
just to let him know that we're there.

Speaker 3 (01:15:06):
Thank goodness for face time.

Speaker 1 (01:15:08):
Trying to be their show up for those moments, always
letting them know that they're present. I don't know if
your daughter has like a phone, but you know, we text.
Deval and I have our own little relationship with Jackson individually,
of course, but we check in all the time. We
just try to constantly let them know that we're there.
When we are home, we try our best to devise
time or divide our time instead, so that way we're

(01:15:29):
completely invested in the children.

Speaker 3 (01:15:31):
And present in that moment.

Speaker 1 (01:15:32):
So that means putting work away, putting the phones away.

Speaker 3 (01:15:35):
It's easy to get distracted.

Speaker 1 (01:15:36):
I told the story to y'all might have heard on
the podcast about Cairo trying to tell me a story
one day and I'm too busy trying to probably text
the Nora or something that she needs, and he's telling
me the story and he's like, Mommy, you're not even
listening to me. You're not looking at me.

Speaker 3 (01:15:49):
And I was like, shoot, like another moment where you
feel like.

Speaker 1 (01:15:52):
Crap, because it's like, damn, I'm trying to juggle all
these things to make sure that everything stays afloat with
work and provide this legacy that we're trying to build
for our kids.

Speaker 3 (01:15:59):
The same time I'm not present from my child.

Speaker 1 (01:16:02):
So in those moments, they were teachable for us as
parents to know, you know what, the kids don't necessarily
come first, but they are so impressionable. They feel everything,
they know everything, and we try to be very completely
honest and transparent with them, let them know that we're
here even when we're not. And we have a great
village at home with our parents who try to just
continue on what we would be doing at home with them,

(01:16:25):
you know, so stick stick it out, girl, and hang tough.
I know it's hard sometimes.

Speaker 4 (01:16:31):
Be honest with your daughter.

Speaker 7 (01:16:32):
She's eleven, like if she's intelligent, emotionally intelligent like Jackson is.
I explain to Jackson, listen, I'm not gonna be here
all the time. There's reasons why I'm not going to
be here. I have to protect and provide for this family.
And when you have your family, you're gonna have to
make these hard decisions. Back in the day, when we
was kids, our parents just hid stuff from us and
they would be gone, Like my parents literally would drop
us to our grandparents and go back to New York

(01:16:54):
and we'd be in Tennessee for eight weeks. And they
did that because they didn't have no date, no datecare,
they didn't have money for it, so they.

Speaker 4 (01:17:01):
Drove us to Tennessee.

Speaker 7 (01:17:02):
We would fall asleep one night, wake up and be
like and they be going on that's wild, traumatic, traumatized,
and it's like, my parents literally just left me here,
right and it's your grandparents, so you're still like, okay, yeah, I.

Speaker 4 (01:17:16):
Love you, but.

Speaker 7 (01:17:19):
Right part going through that made me realize i'd rather
talk to my sons. So Jackson, Kyle, Kaz, we line
them up. We're going away.

Speaker 4 (01:17:28):
We gotta do showing Detroit, we got do showing Chicago.

Speaker 7 (01:17:31):
This is what we're gonna do. I'm teaching them about
physical responsibility. I'm like, if daddy makes this amount of money,
we can do this, put this towards the mortgage. So
it makes them feel included. When you make them feel included,
they don't feel like they're just being left behind. Because
now when I come home, my kids and how much
money do you make?

Speaker 3 (01:17:48):
So how much do we get?

Speaker 4 (01:17:49):
Right, did you reach your goal? How much do mommy
spending it? And he has a zel so.

Speaker 7 (01:17:57):
But but what it does is it teaches them how
to be independent, yeah, you know, individuals.

Speaker 3 (01:18:03):
Because we can't always be there for them. That's another thing.

Speaker 1 (01:18:05):
Jackson had to figure some things out this weekend and
that empowered him. He came out on the other side
because he's like, man, mom and dad are not here
to help me or be evade or assistance, So I
want to have to figure this out with my coach
and do my thing. And it's crazy the growth that
he's had just in a weekend. We're just like, wow,
it's crazy to see.

Speaker 4 (01:18:23):
Let me tell you something about Jackson.

Speaker 7 (01:18:25):
I'm calling his coach. Well, they in the same group
text and this is my friend Jay. If y'all follow me,
y'all know J Cole trains Jackson. J Cole sometimes be
in another world. And I'm like, hey, did you guys
get the calendar? This is Jackson is answering all of
the questions with detail, then sending screenshots from the other
coach to let us know what time we play. And

(01:18:45):
when I tell you, I was so proud because I
was like, here, it is my eleven year old. We're
on a flight and we accidentally told our driver to
come pick us up, but BT had sent us a driver.
We didn't know how to get in contact with the
driver because he has an Android. I text my eleven
years roads, hey get in contact with black.

Speaker 4 (01:19:03):
Text black.

Speaker 7 (01:19:05):
He texted me back copy text black.

Speaker 4 (01:19:09):
Hey, yo, Black, this is Jackson.

Speaker 7 (01:19:11):
My dad and my mom got double book, but you
could go back and pick triple up.

Speaker 20 (01:19:14):
Please confirm literally then literally screenshots his confirmation and sends
it to Kadeen with a message that says, I knew
you would get this because daddy does never checks his stuff.

Speaker 4 (01:19:29):
I was proud, like you know what I'm saying, like I.

Speaker 3 (01:19:32):
Was proud.

Speaker 4 (01:19:34):
Included you got it for sure? Got it? So good?

Speaker 3 (01:19:38):
Nice to be.

Speaker 1 (01:19:38):
Do you know how much time do we have? Only
two more questions? Having such a good time. I'm sorry
we couldn't get y'all, but right into listening letters. We'll
get to him at the show.

Speaker 4 (01:19:51):
Hi, what's up? You know each other?

Speaker 3 (01:19:55):
Friends?

Speaker 4 (01:19:56):
Oh, that's what's up?

Speaker 21 (01:19:59):
First of all, I just wanted to say I'm super like,
I'm nervous right now because I'm huge fans literally following
y'all forever, like so proud, thank you. So my I'm
thirteen weeks postpartum and this is night's first date night out,
me and my husband.

Speaker 3 (01:20:18):
I just had twin girls.

Speaker 1 (01:20:20):
Congratulations girls, that's amazing to ground.

Speaker 21 (01:20:24):
So of course, you know, my babies are at home,
and I'm like, ah, my babies. But I wanted to
know I'm having like, you know, the postpartum like feeling
you're sexiest, Like it's not the bos there, I got you.
So what advice would you give to like me? And

(01:20:46):
then to my husband? I'm like, how we can kind
of get our sexy back, you know, post post post
part you.

Speaker 3 (01:20:53):
Know shout out to getting the sexy dad. Yes, the
biggest thing.

Speaker 1 (01:20:58):
You're thirteen weeks postpartum, girl, you ain't even seeing the
half of it yet. You have to give yourself time.
You have to give yourself grace. Scientifically, women do not
recuperate hormonally after pregnancy until they are nine to twelve
months postpartum.

Speaker 3 (01:21:15):
And that's a fact.

Speaker 1 (01:21:16):
So you not feeling super sexy, you not feeling like yourself.
It's completely normal.

Speaker 3 (01:21:20):
Sis. You grew two whole human beings in your body.

Speaker 1 (01:21:23):
Baby, you're at the same damn time. You have to
give yourself grace. But you know what's wonderful about what
your question is. You are even asking about it because
you're probably considering yourself as well as your husband. Right
you want to be intimate with him again in a
space where you both feel comfortable, and you particularly feel
sexy after that. So I completely understand where you're coming from.

(01:21:44):
The best part about it, if your husband's anything like mine,
he loves me through all phases and he supports me
through all phases, shapes if I'm a little more squishy
than others. So if he's anything like my hubby over here,
which I think he is because you're smiling big. He
will give you your time, He'll give you your grace.
But I know de Val can speak on the male
perspective because he was always like that.

Speaker 4 (01:22:05):
Yeah I wasn't. I just didn't know any better.

Speaker 7 (01:22:08):
And no one tells you in high school or college
or any point that a woman's body goes through so
many physiological changes after birth. We just think that after
six weeks everything is back to normal and everything goes back.

Speaker 4 (01:22:20):
So we don't know. So I would say give him
some grace, But I.

Speaker 7 (01:22:23):
Also say to him, it is important for you to
educate yourself about what your wife is going through.

Speaker 4 (01:22:27):
And I'll just give you this quick analogy.

Speaker 7 (01:22:29):
The most dedicated, disciplined people in the United States are
Marine Corps right, Navy seals right.

Speaker 4 (01:22:35):
These are the most dedicated people.

Speaker 7 (01:22:37):
They train specifically to deal with sleep deprivation, and these
are the most disciplined people. But when it comes to motherhood,
we expect a mom to deal with sleep deprivation, still
be a wife, still be a mom, still go to work,
and it's impossible. So that feeling of your not feeling
like yourself isn't just your physiological change. Is the fact

(01:22:58):
that you're not sleeping, are feeding every two and a
half hours, you up with two children, it's hard to
feel sexy when you tired.

Speaker 4 (01:23:07):
You understand what I'm saying.

Speaker 7 (01:23:08):
So, and the only reason why I'm saying is because
I want you to understand that you're not by yourself.

Speaker 4 (01:23:13):
Don't think it's just you.

Speaker 7 (01:23:15):
And I want him to understand it's not just her,
because when I was young and didn't know better, I
thought it.

Speaker 4 (01:23:19):
Was just my wife.

Speaker 7 (01:23:21):
Like I said, my mom had kids and went back
to work and she was fine. That's the only woman
I saw go through it. So I just want you
to I just want to tell him that and tell
you that everything you're going through right now is normal.

Speaker 4 (01:23:31):
But if you give.

Speaker 7 (01:23:32):
Yourself grace, and y'all both educate each other on what.

Speaker 4 (01:23:35):
You're going through, it's easier.

Speaker 7 (01:23:37):
To give each other grace and work together towards it
if you build yourself with knowledge. So do some research,
see how you can get yourself in the best, best
version of yourself.

Speaker 4 (01:23:46):
But definitely give yourself grace.

Speaker 1 (01:23:48):
You're only sixteen weeks thirteen, come on, like, that's like
no time.

Speaker 7 (01:23:52):
No time, that's like no time, Like I didn't bother
Kadeen for like at least six months after the fourth one.

Speaker 3 (01:23:58):
That's a lie. Are you just gonna lie to the
people like that?

Speaker 4 (01:24:04):
All right? I ain't gonna lie.

Speaker 7 (01:24:05):
I bothered them, but she was of service to me
while I was of service to her. We found ways
to do it, you know what I'm saying. You know,
you find ways to get it done.

Speaker 4 (01:24:17):
So but don't don't feel like something's wrong with you.

Speaker 7 (01:24:20):
And I hope he doesn't feel like something's wrong with
his girl, because I definitely felt like that with the
first one. By the fourth one, I was like, oh, yep,
it's around that time. She's about to go apcient and too.
Hey you want something to eat? Yeah, that's what it
was like living with her during that time. So you
shake your head yeah, because you're like, that's me right

(01:24:41):
now to cry my breast leaking.

Speaker 4 (01:24:44):
I gotta go breastfeed right now.

Speaker 1 (01:24:46):
Yeah. All the best to you and your baby girls,
all right, come on with night, saving the best for last.

Speaker 3 (01:24:57):
Just kidding. I love your guy, I mean, into your
whole squad earlier at Nando's.

Speaker 4 (01:25:04):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm so quick.

Speaker 3 (01:25:06):
Question.

Speaker 22 (01:25:07):
I just I'm a student and I recently just took
a negotiations class, and I just want to know, like,
how do you both negotiate on a day to day
but like partnership, like marriage, all of that, how do
you negotiate?

Speaker 3 (01:25:18):
Like what what does that look like? M don't really negotiate.

Speaker 4 (01:25:22):
It's not the highway, Yeah, it's what do you need? Okay?
What do I need? Okay?

Speaker 7 (01:25:29):
Literally get it done, Like when you get to this
point when you out number two to one by your
kids and you live with your in laws and you
have to make sure Josh got his stuff done and
Denor got her stuff done, and you got you got
all these people that are helping you build what we're.

Speaker 4 (01:25:43):
Trying to build. I have to wake up and be
directly to say, babe, what do you need today? What
do you need?

Speaker 3 (01:25:47):
That alleviated so much for us.

Speaker 1 (01:25:49):
We took the thing out of it, literally and we
just are like, what do you need? Be honest and
upfront about what you need in real time so we
can figure it out. It's been a lot smoother than
having to try to tiptoe and navigate around what each
other needs.

Speaker 4 (01:26:02):
For sure, and we don't.

Speaker 7 (01:26:03):
Judge when they tell us what we need. If k
need time, I'll give a time. If Kate want to cuddle,
I'll give a cuddle. It's just understand that your partner's
saying they need something in that moment, if you can
provide it. This is what you got married for, right,
Your marriage is servitude and perpetuity. Like you wake up
every day knowing that that person in front of me
is a person I chose to provide for.

Speaker 4 (01:26:24):
So you get up and you be like, boom, what
you need? All right? And if she asked me, I
tell her and we just get it done.

Speaker 1 (01:26:30):
As a fat marriage is one long, never ending conversation.
Y'all know what you're getting into ahead of time.

Speaker 3 (01:26:35):
And when it comes to business stuff and negotiation, we
just hand it to do Nora because we don't got
time for that. We handed off to do Nora.

Speaker 4 (01:26:42):
So I may ask you guys a question. Did y'all
have a good time?

Speaker 3 (01:26:44):
Did y'all have a good time tonight?

Speaker 4 (01:26:47):
Because we had a great time. I appreciate that, brother,
we had a great time time.

Speaker 1 (01:26:51):
I have to say, officially, of all the shows that
we've ever done, Chicago, Baby, Yeah, Chicago, y'all, there's something
that this night. There's something about the space that we're in.
This is the fifth show, our fifth and final show
for this leg of the tour that we're not thinking.

Speaker 3 (01:27:09):
We're not sure that we can even make it back
the best of the last.

Speaker 1 (01:27:11):
Yes, we're not even sure if we'll be able to
make it back out this year to get on tour
for the summer or fall.

Speaker 3 (01:27:16):
Just because the vow is out here booking rolls and whatnot.

Speaker 7 (01:27:21):
Yes, so'll be busy a little inside. I booked the
lead in the new Netflix film Coming Out. Yes, yes, so, yeah,
I'm excited. That's all I can say about it. But
I'm definitely very very exciting. Thank you, thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:27:36):
So we're going straight from tour back home to spend
some time with the kids real quick before he heads
to Toronto, Canada. So I was looking forward to being
on the beach for spring break, but we're going to
be up in Toronto.

Speaker 3 (01:27:46):
So thank y'all for coming out tonight. I'm so excited.
Before we let.

Speaker 7 (01:27:50):
Y'all go, so this is actually my favorite part of
the show.

Speaker 4 (01:27:54):
Can everybody stand up please?

Speaker 3 (01:27:57):
Well, before we do that, we wanted to.

Speaker 1 (01:28:03):
Acknowledge someone in the crowd, someone who is so diligent
when it comes to de Valeni, someone who is so
invested in making sure that we not only look our best,
but feel our best. She has a birthday coming up, y'all,

(01:28:27):
one of our favorite pisces.

Speaker 3 (01:28:29):
Give it up to our stylish Charie Simmons. Yes, come
on up, Chari, because we love our pools so so much.
Everyone up there, they put into us so much. They
bring over us. They have our best. So we had

(01:28:53):
today show we show us some love tonight. Her birthday
is on Funday.

Speaker 10 (01:29:00):
Shut up, Yes, yea need Joelapo sticking on this part.
So this part right here, sticking real Knox a humble shot.

Speaker 3 (01:29:26):
Yeah, birthday.

Speaker 1 (01:29:28):
I love little birthday coming out from knock the picture
birth baby, shout out to the birth We got your
nol on.

Speaker 15 (01:29:35):
Here birth take, Okay, Nelly on bank looking at birth take.

Speaker 3 (01:29:41):
We got Sniley looking at the barber.

Speaker 1 (01:29:48):
Birthday, my baby fresh Jay's second birthday on the word.

Speaker 3 (01:29:55):
Do you have whot in the back, We got bend down,
Sir Joshua. Where is Joshua?

Speaker 4 (01:30:05):
I want to see josh somewhere.

Speaker 3 (01:30:07):
Little bag on a birthday, give up from.

Speaker 4 (01:30:10):
Mad man in the back. We got Dasha. You don't
need no love.

Speaker 3 (01:30:17):
They're all out there somewhere. We love y'all so much.
Give it up for thee his birthday.

Speaker 15 (01:30:25):
I'm trying to put you back home in your birthday.

Speaker 4 (01:30:28):
Why are you not having.

Speaker 3 (01:30:29):
Birth She look back to a merch All right.

Speaker 1 (01:30:32):
Give it up.

Speaker 15 (01:30:37):
One time for the birthpay, bent two times for the birthday,
bitch three times for the birthpay. Bitch fucking up a
vis your birthpayer. Fucking up official birthpay. Bitch, suck it
up and fish your birthpay. Bitch fucking up offs your birthpay.
Bitch fucking up afs your birth pay per you a
dammit and his birthday broad sucking up through the worst place.

Speaker 3 (01:30:59):
Man, y'all so much. Appreciate y'all. Teams.

Speaker 7 (01:31:04):
All right, so this is my favorite part of the
show after that, because that was something else that Kay
did not put on my calendar.

Speaker 4 (01:31:16):
But we love you, sure we happy birthday.

Speaker 3 (01:31:18):
We have to acknowledge our team, y'all.

Speaker 4 (01:31:20):
Yes.

Speaker 7 (01:31:21):
After season one, as a teamer, Nathan, who's played by
Cam said, the value have to be one of the
greatest manifestos I've ever seen in my life because everything
I said, what's gonna happen, What's gonna happen? I said,
We're gonna get season two happened. I said, we're gonna
get twenty episodes happened. We even got renewed for season
three before season two came out surprised. So what I

(01:31:46):
want to do is share with y'all what I do
to manifest. And I want all of us to take
a moment so close your eyes. I want you to
think about the biggest house you've ever seen that you
want to live in. Think about the most amount of
money you ever want to make. Think about that love

(01:32:07):
of your life that you haven't met yet. Think about
that car, that job, that career, those children, those pets,
think about everything. Are you thinking about it? Can you
see it? I need you to understand this. If you
can see it, that means it's already happened. Open your eyes.
If it's already happened, that means it's up to.

Speaker 4 (01:32:28):
You to claim it.

Speaker 3 (01:32:29):
You better go get it, y'all.

Speaker 4 (01:32:31):
Go get it, Go get it, because it's yours.

Speaker 3 (01:32:33):
We are a living, walking testimony. Yes, y'all, and thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:32:36):
So so much for your love and support over the years.

Speaker 4 (01:32:39):
Oh God, there you go. I knew he was gonna
come on you, Hormona. Are you pregnant. No, Chicago has
been amazing.

Speaker 7 (01:32:53):
Yeah, when I was downstairs, I had just had a
drink and I could hear y'all from downs from up here,
I could hear them downstairs, and I started getting this
feeling in my legs and I was like in my
nervous or in my high and I was a little
bit scared, right, But then I realized, like, man, I

(01:33:15):
ain't smoke that much. And as I walked up the
stairs to get ready, my legs.

Speaker 4 (01:33:19):
Were getting heavier and heavier, and it.

Speaker 7 (01:33:20):
Was really like the love that I could feel from
everybody out here.

Speaker 4 (01:33:25):
When I came out here and heard that scream y'all
have no idea.

Speaker 7 (01:33:28):
I feel so invigorated to go out and do ten
times more than I ever thought I was gonna do.

Speaker 1 (01:33:33):
So the day, y'all, the days that we want to stop,
and the days that I'm contemplating if we should go on,
and the days I want to just delete the Instagram
from my phone, we have moments like this that just
reassure us that we are walking.

Speaker 4 (01:33:46):
Come back, you come back. Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:33:52):
It just further gives me the confirmation that I'm walking
in my purpose and whatever that looks like for.

Speaker 3 (01:33:58):
Me and for y'all. Either way, we just appreciate y'all
so much.

Speaker 7 (01:34:01):
So one time for the one time Chicago. This is
what we're gonna do with y'all. Were gonna get this
video selfie with y'all. Right, I'm gonna say where we at?
You're gonna say Chicago. I'm gonna say for what you
gonna say?

Speaker 4 (01:34:15):
Dead Ass Podcast? Y'allready? Three? Oh?

Speaker 7 (01:34:20):
How about how about I hit the record buddy on
this one. I'm talking gonna make sure I get everybody.
Shout out to everybody up here. Yeah, yeah, year, shout
out to everybody over here.

Speaker 4 (01:34:33):
Yeh yeh yeah. All right, where we at?

Speaker 3 (01:34:38):
Shut and what are we here for?

Speaker 4 (01:34:42):
Ut as PoCA. Dead Ass is.

Speaker 2 (01:34:48):
A production of iHeartMedia podcast Network, and it's produced by
Donor Opinion and Triple Follow the podcast on social media
at dead Ass the Podcast and Never miss a Thing
Na

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Stuff You Should Know

Intentionally Disturbing

All Episodes

LIVE IN CHICAGO!

Dateline NBC