More Listener Letters

It's time for our favorite part of the show...For the whole show! In this episode, Khadeen and Devale read your listener letters and give their best advice. Dead Ass. 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
You should never ask for advice outside of your relationship,
except if you asking us dead ass, because listen to
Lettuce is my favorite part of the show. Let's diving, y'all. Hey,
I'm Cadine and we're the ellis Is. You may know
us from posting funny videos with our boys and reading

(00:22):
each other publicly as a form of therapy. Wait, I'll
make you need therapy most days. Wow. And one more
important thing to mention, we're married. We are. We created
this podcast to open dialogue about some of life's most
taboo topics, things most folks don't want to talk about
through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ads
is the term that we say every day. So when

(00:44):
we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts, the truth,
the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Were about
to take phillow talk to a whole new level. Dead
ass starts right now. If fuck nowma right to you,

(01:06):
I day, I packed up Seilly time and that send
it up for now? Are dropping in the email box.
You're not gonna sing the bridge or the hook or
whatever it is. You're not gonna You're not gonna see it.

(01:28):
I don't know the words really, and I don't be
faking it, Like, what about sending my little sit sending
my love exactly, praying that you ceiling with the kids,
sending my love. Hey, we love when y'all send y'all

(01:51):
love to us. Yes we do. And you ask us
for our two cents because you know we got two
cents to spare. It's about be trying to teach you
all in the karaoke. Noticed that, right, every time I've
seen the karaoke, I give you all my best. He's
to be giving y'all the barren minium. Didn't even want
to see in my lane, but yeah I did. I
have to make sure that my lyrics straight because I

(02:11):
don't like to be fumbling people's lyrics. No money care
about the lyrics. You know, it's all about the essence,
all right, all right, I'll give you all essence from
now on. Is that enough? Yes? Because they're gonna be
singing the wrong words with us. This is what is
what we do. That is a fact. Listen to letters
are great when we do the live shows. People can't
wait to stand up and do their listening letters in person.

(02:32):
It's just funny to watch people be like nobody judged
me by my ask this question, what's the wildest listening
letter we've ever had or that we can remember. I
feel like there was a wild one that we had
sometime last season, and I cannot place it. All I
know is that dude, say he jacked four or five
times a jay and he married. I just want to
know what kind of job he got. What he could

(02:53):
just step away and just rub one out real quick,
like that's that's a lot of jacking to do. That
was because if you figure four or five times a
day and you're up, how many people are up on
average of how many hours, Let's think twelve to fifteen
hours a day, so that means every at least three hours, Like,
that's how many meals. I'm trying to get in to

(03:13):
lose this goddamn weight. I'm trying to eat six the day.
You know what, I guess this is there's a way.
I guess it's a way. So instead of eating, we're jacking. Yeah,
don't judge, don't judge, my man, he's being vulnerable with us,
letting us know what it is. Hey, no judgment at all,
but I was just trying. That was one of the
wildest listener letters I have had for sure, it's a
lot of jack. And how does he stay hydrated? Just
letting out that much fluid? Four or five times a

(03:36):
day every day? Drink a bottle of water after each
That's thirty five jacks a freaking week. Bro, that's over
a hundred and twenty jacks a month ago. That's mad
jacks protein at all? Like, where does it god? Fluent
and protein? Bro? Where does it go? I don't know?

(03:58):
In the sock? I guess. I don't know. Bro, this
is a lot. Hey, you don't let that discourage you
all from writing in. I promise you. I promise you
did no judgment here. We'll just be trying to figure
things out, you know what I'm saying. All right, let's
dive into the first one. Hey, Hey, Dvalin Cadeen. First

(04:19):
of all, I want to say that I love listening
to you guys and see your family videos. I sometimes
even share them with my husband, which brings me to
my situation. My husband and I have been celebrating, or
we'll be celebrating our first winning anniversary coming up in September. Now, Devout,
I've heard you say in a previous episode how much
you miss your girlfriend. That's exactly how I feel. I

(04:40):
missed my boyfriend. Were twenty six and we moved in
together about four months ago from being in a committed
relationship with one another. We we've known each other most
of our lives, and I've spent plenty of time around
his family due to his cousin being my best friend
for about fifteen years. We got engaged one year into
our relationship and married nine months later. We've had our rifts,

(05:01):
of course, about small things that happened in our everyday life.
He really enjoys playing video games two K and looks
at that time as his alone time and relaxation. I've
gotten better with allowing him to have that time, even
though most times it takes up the majority once we're
both home from work. Allow It's funny to hear a
woman say, allow him have that time, but let him.

(05:21):
Man say we allow our wives, they'd be ready to
just fight. You don't allow me to do nothing not bad.
You're right now. I'm triggered, right now. You triggered over there.
Trigger warning. You should have put a trigger warning this
because listen develop sping some kind of way. We sometimes
even have disagreements about how we deal with each other's needs.
I want him to be more affectionate and allow me

(05:42):
to be my affectionate, energetic self without feeling like I'm
bothering him. He's saying that life is in a fairy
tale or a movie, which, uh, I know what I'm what.
What I want is to feel loved and feel that
we can have fun together, even if it's just being
at home. There's a saying that the man must love
the woman more than she loves him for the things

(06:05):
to work. Really about that, sometimes I'm not sure if
that's the case with us. Of course, things are different
and some things will be difficult. In the first year
of marriage. I look forward to coming home to him
showing and showing him my love, but whenever we actually
spend time together, it seems like it's a chore for him,
or not something he really wants to do. We've even

(06:27):
thought about just drawing back from each other a bit
and somewhat detaching. I care very much, and he doesn't
feel like anything is wrong. I see how other people
are with their significant others, including you guys, but my
best friend and her boyfriend, and I long to have
that in relationship with my husband. MM Hmmm, that's what

(06:48):
I know. How do I get the man I fell
in love with without feeling like I'm forcing him to
enjoy being with me. I don't want to push him
away or lose him. First of all, says, you don't
necessarily want what me and Devout have because the struggles
that we've had, which we vocalized and we've spoken about

(07:08):
a lot on this podcast, um are things that we
continue to still struggle with. Devout is a super affectionate one.
I'm not I enjoy She went to sleep last night.
I didn't say I love you and nothing to me.
She just went in the bed, didn't say good night
enough mad tide, y'all. I just didn't. I just fell asleep.
And I have many nights like that, and I need
to do better. I do because mad nights like that
that I just go to sleep and I just go

(07:28):
to the room, and she'd already be sleep, no good night,
no love you. They'd be nice that I wake up
and uh, you know what when I wake up and
I'll lay one on you. Yeah, it happens. Let's talk
about let's that's a lie. That is a whole lie.
You never just wake up and lay one on me,

(07:49):
I wake you up to get it laid on me.
It is a difference, is a difference. Well, you get up,
you get up right, but you don't ever just wake
up like, oh my god, look at my husband over there,
definitely not doing that. Let me give him the sloppy
ropy right now, tired. But when I'm up, though, and
when he wakes me up, I'd be ready to go. No.

(08:09):
I was shaking my head to her statement about, uh,
I look at you guys, and don't do that. The
minute you tailor make your relationship to other people's expectations,
you're gonna fail. Because no one can be as good
as me and Codeine are at being me and Codeine.
We're already doing it you. No one is ever gonna
be as good as that. Like no, because because no
one's ever gonna be as good as you are, as

(08:31):
being you are to you and your your man, like
we could try to be y'all and it won't work.
Like if I try to play two K and K
try and I'm like, you see how she'd be on
on him. Let me play two K. Maybe you be
on me. It's not gonna work. I'm just trying to
emulate something I see, but it's not something that I
want or need. What you have to do is tell
him over and over and over again what you want

(08:52):
and what you need. Because marriage is an ongoing conversation.
It's never gonna end. My Yeah, it's really never gonna end.
Like it's literally every day waking up and deciding to
have those conversations to make those choices. You know, I
but I do understand her feeling though, like the feeling
of not being wanted. Like Kadeine and I tell Conine

(09:12):
all the time, I'm a super affectionate person. Knein walks
by me, I'm gonna grab her, I'm gonna rub her,
I'm gonna whisper something in her, and I'm just gonna
tell her come here. And she's be like what, delt
like what what? I'm just like nothing, And I just
rub your thigh real quick, and then I'll just walk
by her and then it's like not the same. But
you also have to understand that people have different ways
of showing love, and if you expect the person that

(09:33):
you want to spend a much of your life with
to be exactly on the same page with you in
every aspect of life, you're gonna be up for disappointment
because people show love differently. So yeah, I mean I
feel like that the term love language. I don't know
if that's overused now because I know I'll be tired
of hearing of it. But I think it's a real thing.
It definitely is a real thing, trying to decipher how
people are able to display love, how they're able to

(09:54):
receive love, what's needed, where the deficits may lie, so
um have those conversations with her this, and also to
realize that it's a lot different sometimes too, once you
finally move in together, Like was he super affectionate just
as the boyfriend? And then the minute y'all got together,
it's like, now he's here, living together ahead of time
or not, because there's the moments to miss each other.

(10:16):
Think about when you're traveling, for example, when you're away,
when you're filming or whatever, forever apart for whatever reason.
Sometimes just having that distance alone is enough to make
you feel like, Damn, I can't wait to see my
person again and be in their space and be that
affectionate person that I want him to be or he
needs me to be, versus the monotony of a day

(10:37):
to day coming home and it just being the same thing.
I can also be I think there's two things. Number One,
if they moved together recently, then that means they moved
in together during the pandemic. That was an anomaly, Like
you can't you can't say my life moving forward is
going to be like this based on the way it was. One,
because nobody was outside, nobody was doing anything. It was

(10:58):
just it was a very awkward, weird time. So don't
judge him or judge yourself based on that. Number Two,
it goes without saying. I mean, I have to say this.
No one understands what it feels like to be the
over affectionate person in the relationship until you are the
over affectionate personal relationship because the other person, since they're

(11:19):
not affectionate, thinks that everything is fine. But you, if
you're the affectionate one, is walking around feeling at a
deficit because you feel like that this person doesn't love
me as much as I love them because they're not
acting the way you act, And that's difficult for someone.
You and I have talked about that all the time.
For me, it was just like yo, like I got
this girl that I just I'm madly in love with

(11:41):
I want to be around to all the time, and
she just don't feel the same. And then it's just like,
do you not love me? Is it something about my
physical appearance? Like it becomes a thing where you start
to question yourself and you internalize it. And then I
know with with us when I'm away, the minute I leave,
Like the minute I leave, she'll send me a text
I'm missing you already, And I'd be like, bit, I
was in the house for three weeks, you don't even

(12:02):
hug me. Now I leave the house and as I
mess you already space bro. It's just I think people
like that, like me, like her, really take time, Like
it takes us time to realize that that doesn't mean
the person doesn't love us. They just love differently, because
you only love people the way you know you want

(12:23):
to be loved, and when you're not getting that, it
makes you feel a way. So I understand where she's
coming from. No, for sure, for sure, I have those
conversations just because it's still early on and you guys
have been around the family a long time and all that,
which is great, Um, but I understand that feeling of
wanting to have that boyfriend girlfriendness back, because don't we
all wish that we can bottle up that very fresh
newness that we've experienced in the relationship And don't be

(12:44):
afraid to push him away by telling him your truth.
If you're telling him your truth means he wants to
be with someone else or be pushed away, then that's
not your person. Like I tell Connin my truth and
she's often like, oh baby, and then she's just like, well,
I don't want you to feel that way, Let's work
on it. If I to tell condem my truth and
she'd be like, well, get you doing too much and
I don't want all of that, then I'm like, all right, well,

(13:05):
if you don't want that and this is what I required,
then we don't need to be together. So tell him
your truth and once he makes his response, then you
know how to move. All right, We're up to listen
to letter number two. Hey, Codeine and de Val, please
keep me anonymous of course. First off, I just want
to say I love the podcast. You guys really out
here changing and saving relationships one episode at a time.

(13:26):
Thank you so much. Okay, here goes my boyfriend of
eight years found out a few years ago that his
daughter is not biologically his. Before this was revealed, he
was on child support and joint custody was granted, but
the mother made it very hard and did everything she
could to make parenting miserable for him, and the irony
is is not his. Fast forward to the President. We

(13:47):
have maybe spent a month's total worth of days with
the daughter since we found out. The mother has taken
my boyfriend off of child support and she is currently
living with and in a relationship with the daughter's biological dad. Okay,
so then there we go. It seems now we only
get to see the daughter when it's convenient for the mother. Oh,
they still want to be in a daughter's life. Other

(14:08):
than that, we don't get to see her here from
the daughter, and he's blocked most of the time. It's
clear that the mother no longer wants us to be
a part of her daughter's life, and my boyfriend can't
seem to let this go. I understand that if that's
been your daughter for a long time, there's there's no
way to just let that go. Kudos to him, because
a less of a man would have been like, I'm out,
but that that child doesn't deserve that. He's even talking

(14:29):
about hiring a lord to enforce his joint custody agreement.
I'm fearful at this point he is setting himself up
for Harvard, because I feel that if he takes her,
the court is going to get ugly. I know he
loves her as I do, but a part of me
feels as if we should just fall back. Of course
you would, being as though her biologed with dad is
in the picture and wanting to be a dad. I
don't know how to bring this up to him, as

(14:51):
this is a touchy subject. I understand that, and he
gets defensive as I would too, every time I try
to talk about it. I don't know why he is
holding on so strong, because if someone's sent it to
you as their daughter, and your heart takes the men
as a daughter, you don't just let that go. You
know what's funny about women? Let me see this man. Also,
this has kind of had our relationship in a stagnant place,

(15:12):
as he has stated before that he doesn't want to
move things forward until he gets things figured out with
his kids. Frankly, I'm tired of waiting, and I don't
feel like the option of engagement marriage should be contingent
on whether he can get the situation to work out.
Any advice would be helpful. Love you guys in the pod,
keep it up. Truly frustrated and over it. Here's my

(15:33):
first thing, Right, I've noticed about women women have a
strong connection with their own children. Right, But I've also
noticed that that those same women, and I'm I hate
to generalize, and you can't say all women, but when
they find out that their partner has a child, it's
almost like an instant block that that child is not
my child, and the connection is just not as strong.

(15:54):
So it's like I'm ready to cut ties with the
child or as far as like only the husband, like
you need to just let that go, or the boyfriend,
like because it's not their child. So they're like, you know,
can't you just walk away from it, but not understanding
that it's there's an emotional attachment you can't just expect.
Like for example, we know some people who have relationships

(16:16):
with people's baby mothers, and it'd be you know, you
hear women sometimes just be like, yo, why don't you
just just let it go? Let her have it, like
and it's like you're really asking this man to walk
out of their own child's life because you feel inconvenience
that he has a child with another woman, but not
understanding that if it was on the other end and
that was your child, you would want that child to

(16:38):
have a relationship with their father. And I just find
the duality of like womanhood and motherhood. It's like, when
it's your child, you're ready to protect them, but when
it's someone else's child, that the obvious should be to
understand and protect that child. But sometimes like, well, this
is my man now, so whatever that child is going
through doesn't matter. You know what I'm saying. I hear

(16:59):
what you're saying. What you're saying. I think in this instance,
she is more frustrated with the fact that a couple
of things she doesn't want her and she's probably she's
having to deal with this too, right, So absolutely can't
expect for this to be a thing where she just
removes herself from it. It's like that she has to
and she too says she's had a relationship with this
child as well. But I think what she's getting at

(17:20):
is that she doesn't want him to set himself up
for failure. Now that will the courts even grant him
any kind of joint custody, seeing as though technically he's
just not the father at all. And now that the
biological father is back into her life and she's with
her biological mom, will will he be fighting a fight
that is just not understand that ever end up in

(17:40):
his favor. I understand that, but even that in itself
is unfair. Right, you say that this is my biological child.
I do everything that I'm supposed to to take care
of the child. You know what I'm saying. I'm on
child support, I'm fighting for visitation, I'm building a relationship
with the child, but then it turns out it's not mine,
and you expect me just to cut all that off.
Like there's no real man that I know that would

(18:02):
be able to say like washing my hands off of this,
especially if you've watched that child from birth become a
little person, knowing that that person is going to be saying, well,
where's my daddy, and then feeling maybe some sort of
abandonment and stuff to you from that. Yeah, it's it's
a very sticky and difficult situation um for a lot
of the parties involved here. But I can't also understand

(18:23):
this woman feeling like damn, like until he figures this out,
then we're stagnant, like their relationship can't move in any
kind of way because that's where his focus is now.
She wants him to either relinquish himself of this focus
or figure out what the happy media. But that's what
But that's what I'm saying is the duality of motherhood
is like, when it's my child, you care if she's
a mother or not. Did she right? But what I'm

(18:47):
saying is she's talking about trying to move forward for
the future, and what I'm trying to point out is
that it's the understanding that that's someone's child. It may
not be your child. But to say you need to
wash your hands of this and move on to me,
it's like that that that's bad karma, you know what
I'm saying, Because that because that child didn't ask for

(19:09):
this situation, and for because it's inconvenient for you in
the moment to say wash your hands of that and
leave it alone, I think that's extremely selfish. You know,
I'm not saying that she doesn't have a right to
feel a way because she does, like you didn't ask
for this. The woman lied or the woman didn't know,
and here you are have been and she said, the

(19:30):
woman has been a hell to deal with for the
past couple of years, dealing with this whole child. So
I understand her animosity towards the woman and stuff like that,
But where is the empathy for the child and the
man that you love, knowing that this is someone that
he calls his daughter. It's impossible for you to tell
that man, let washing just washing hands and let it

(19:50):
go like there's no way. You know what I'm saying.
She's asking for it to be that cut and dry
because she does say too, she's had a relationship with child,
because she's been around as well too. I'm curi to
know she has her own children with or without him,
because sometimes to not having been a mother or knowing
what that feels like, Yes, it might be bad, Harmer,
like you said, but in that moment, she may not

(20:10):
even be able to relate on that level because unless
you've been a mother, you don't understand really fully what
it's like. You can imagine it. But but you said,
you don't think that she's saying. She literally said, I
know he loves her as I do, but part of
me feels he should just fall back, being as though
her biological like that. That to me is like asking

(20:31):
someone to fall back from someone who they have taken
in as their child, even even like I'm not gonna
lie to you, right, we have a lot of young
people that we call our children, right. There are some
in particular who are more like my kids than others.
If at this point that person's child father came into

(20:51):
their life and they were like, you need to fall back,
I would be heartbroken, and y'all would probably see me
fight somebody as much as I've done to be a
part of this person and to instill into this person
what it is to be a man, and now someone
comes in and it's just like, well, all right, well
fall back. And the thing is already have my own kids,

(21:11):
But that's not the point once you create a bond
with something. And I don't think that that's what I'm
saying about the duality of motherhood, because I don't think
women understand when you have a good man and he
chooses to be a father to someone, the title doesn't matter,
and saying to fall back, especially because we we've had
this in other listener letters where his baby mother is crazy.
I wish you would just leave that situation alone. It

(21:33):
is hard for a good man to just leave a
situation alone when their child is involved. I agree with you.
I'm just playing devil's advocate and trying to get maybe
her perspective on things, her wanting to protect her husband
from her man now from like you, potential heartbreak anybody
who's against me that I'm a pitable for you a

(21:53):
hundred times over. And I don't even think twice about it.
If that person don't like you, don't walk with you,
I don't work with them. Like that's just what it is.
And I can see how maybe she feels like you
know what I'm saying, It's like, Okay, we love this
daughter and everything her mother been given us hell from
day one. However, I just don't want you to be
even more heartbroken than you are now putting into the
hope that maybe I can get some joint custody. Maybe

(22:14):
I can, you know, be in this until maybe this
girl is of age. Hopefully he can have some sort
of presence where the daughter still knows he's there, can
imagine enough to decide to want to come see him
a little bit more. But can you imagine, right, if
you wait years and after years, you're going to meet
with this young lady and she tells you, my mom
told me you don't want me no more she got
because that happens a lot, you know what I'm saying,
with what narrative she's creating over there, and not only

(22:36):
just for the young lady. But I don't think women
realize when you have a man, a good husband, or
a good father or a good man, it's not easy
to break that that tie, with that tie with someone
that you consider to be your child. Like it's not
a thing where you can just let it go. And
the reason why I'm talking about the duality is because
moms know how hard it is. You would never break

(22:57):
a mom's tied with their child. But to hear you know,
women often sending listen to letters saying like I wish
he would just let it go because it's inconvenient for them.
To me, it's just selfish because if when it's your child,
no one tells a mom or something like that. You
know what I'm saying, That's what I was saying, the duality,
it's just like crazy perspective. Um. But of course when

(23:17):
we get these listen letters, we try to weigh in
different options. And I understand what you're coming from as
far as if she's a pit both for him. It's like,
I don't want to see him hurt. I just wish
he would let it go. And I guess that's why
she's asking for help, because she doesn't know how to exist. Well,
let's just give us some advice. I would say, just
be careful of trying to tell him to wipe his hands,
because that's gonna make him defensive, and that's gonna make

(23:39):
him be like, you don't have what's in the best
interests of me or this child, So that would make
him that could potentially turn him off, turn him off right,
So I would I would refrain from but I would
try to find a way to be of assistance in
helping it go smootherer. And I'm not saying you have
to be a chance or can do it to the
other baby mother, don't. But you know, help them figure

(24:02):
out some you know, read through this stuff to figure
out how you can get custody. You know, be be
a part or asset to the cause as opposed to
being against it, and significant just be the advocate because
he needs that and he's not gonna let it go
right as he shouldn't because he has a relationship in
bond with this this young lady. Um. So yeah, good

(24:22):
luck to you guys. Um, we're too in. I think
we have a couple more and that might be a
good good time to take a little break. Um, gather
up some more listeners that come back. All right, so
stick around all right, now we're back and onto the

(24:47):
third listener letter of the episode. Hi Kane Devout. First
things first, I love you guys and admire you so much.
I pray that God's hand is on you and continue
to bless your family. Thank you receive that. So I
just turned twenty eight and I am healing from my
father's wounds. I am the product of an affair. My
father cheated on his wife. I was angry, resentful for

(25:09):
a long time because I felt like a secret and
family members gave me a hard time as a child.
In two thousand five, my mother got married and I
was excited to have a dad finally. Well, I feel
like he wasn't exactly excited about having a daughter. My
mom and stepdad have been married for seventeen years and
he has never tried to cultivate a relationship with me.

(25:30):
He never talks to me, and we live in the
same home, like we do not speak at all, and
that's it. Caps The most he says to me is
good morning. We have had several family meetings, respectfully expressing
my hurt, and he chose not to make a change
after I expressed how I felt multiple times. I feel
like at this point he's choosing not to have a
relationship with me as a child. My mother used to

(25:53):
try to make me pursue my stepfather, like telling me
to ask him to do an activity with me. I
feel like I should never have to do that. He
married my mother and he chose to be a parent
to me. I believe it's the parents responsibility to foster
a relationship with their child. My mother thinks I should
pursue him because he has provided for us for me
a house, cars, and food, which is supposed to be

(26:14):
doing as a provider material. Thinks me nothing if you
haven't taught me anything or tried to have a relationship
with me. I love my mother so much that she
knows that she knows how I feel. It's very hurtful
that she wants to have these fake moments of happiness
knowing her husband doesn't speak to me. I cannot be fake,
but I want to be respectful because I love my mom.
I'm so hurt that I haven't chosen, that I've chosen

(26:36):
not to let him walk me down the aisle when
I get married. It's fake because he and I have
no relationship at all, exactly as my bio dad and
I are getting better and closer over the years. My
dad has tried to have a relationship with me despite
my resentment. For that, I give him his flowers. So

(26:59):
what are we talking about here? What are we talking
about him? How do I set boundaries with my mother
to let her know to stop trying to force me
to pursue my stepfather after I've told him and my
mother how he's hurt me. Signed a fatherless daughter. Oh,
siss sis says, you're not fatherless, But this is this
is part of the issue, right, Your dad made poor

(27:22):
choices when cheating on his wife, and you're the product
of interfere But if your dad always trying to have
a relationship with you, you chose to try to have
a relationship with someone else because you had resentment towards
your dad. You had a father the whole time, but
he didn't look the way you wanted him to look,
or he wasn't presented the way you wanted to be presented,
so you pushed it off and tried to have a

(27:43):
relationship with this man who clearly wasn't interested. Well, rightfully
so in a sense, because she probably felt like, Okay,
if I'm being treated this way by other family members
as this, I'm sort of plague or I'm the outcast,
then it can intern. But what they got to do
with her relationship with her father, No, I'm just saying
that might be the reason why she feels a bit
of the resentment that she feels towards her father, because
she was in turn treated this way unfairly by adults,

(28:04):
which we always know that's usually the case. The adults
are the ones who have no sense of But she
did say that it was other people. She didn't say
my father treated me differently. She should have still fostered
the relationship with her biological dad and told those other
adults to kick rocks, because that's what they really need
to do, is just kick rocks. But I understand it.
You know what I'm saying. If if not even as

(28:25):
a child. The other adults say that, Say that's my sister,
Say that's you know, somebody that I know. And and
this guy cheated on my sister and had a whole baby.
I'm going to have some resentment towards him. I would
never mistreat his child, though, because the daughter had nothing
to do with it. But everyone's not that mature and
stand what I'm saying. But this, but this is just

(28:45):
an opportunity for us to learn this. People, when someone
is looking to have a relationship with you and you
discard it because it doesn't come in the package you want,
and you try to have a relationship with someone else
because the package looks better, you get what you ask for.
That I can see that understore for sure, because the package,
as you're saying, just to kind of further explain, So

(29:05):
you're saying that her stepfather looked like the perfect package
because he provided, because he married her mom, because he
was doing all of the things and checking the boxes
that needed for a child in the house. This is
the package I was expecting from my family. So that
guy who was here is the guy that I'm going
to try to force a relationship. You know what, I
also wonder when she's had the conversations with her mom

(29:27):
and stepdad, because she says she's tried to have these
sit down conversations, what does he say, Like, what is
his reply? Was his response knowing that it hurts you
that you don't have a relationship with him and you
express it, does he just completely ignore it? And it's
for what reason? Well, she doesn't say you have any siblings,
so I wonder if he never wanted children to begin with.

(29:47):
So it was just kind of like, well, here's a
woman that I've fallen in love. If she already has
a child, so she's not gonna want kids. I don't
want kids. And sometimes people just don't have that relationship
with kids where they just don't want to have children,
and maybe that capacity to even want to write, or
maybe he came from a broken home and maybe the
adults in his life were terrible, so he's just like
I don't mom, I'm not trying to get involved with it.

(30:09):
Like there's so many different layers to try to unpack.
I just want her to realize that you have someone
who is your actual biological father who wants to force
a relationship, and that should be your and I don't
you're focused. I don't disagree with you not wanting your
stepfather to walk you down there. I agree with a
bunch of just he could stay stuff. Yeah, he could

(30:30):
sit quietly next to your mom as he's been for
the past however many years. And this is how you
set boundaries with your mom. Mom, I'm not interested in
having a relationship with that man. Leave it alone. I've
had to do that with my mom. Yes, I've had
to do that with my mom. Yes, my my biological
grandfather on my mother's side does not have a relationship

(30:50):
with us. He made choice in his life that he
didn't want to be around uh me and my brother
and my sister because he had issues with the family.
Now I have grandkids, Now I have kids of his grandkids.
And for a long time, my mom used to be like, yo,
why don't you call you your grandfather? Why don't you
go because he doesn't try, he doesn't try, I'm not
gonna try. Do I have any animosity towards him, No,

(31:11):
I just don't have a relationship. But I'm not going
to continue to playcate his behavior by trying to reach out.
Because my mom is saying to reach out and then
getting burnt in return. I reach out and I don't
hear nothing back, or I reach out and then he
drops the ball, so I end up being disappointed. He's
already disappointed you. I'm not gonna let him disappoint me,
and I am sure you're gonna let him disappoint my kids.
So I just the boundaries. I'm not doing it. I'm

(31:33):
gonna don't know. You can't force me. Well said, take
that sense exactly what he's said. That's just what it is. Yeah,
Because like you said, you love your mom. Your mom
has been there for you, and that has nothing to
do with the relationship you and your mom have. So
good luck to you, sis, facts and nothing. Nothing. Your
mom is fouled too. It's just my personal opinion. You

(31:56):
marry someone and you know that that person is also
has to be a part of your child life. Your
child chose, not your child didn't choose to be here.
I think it's always I think it's always important to
choose someone that can embrace you fully, and being a
parent is fully embracing you. And if that person just
continues to know that aspects of your life, I personally

(32:16):
wouldn't choose that person to be in my life, because
I've seen the effects of how that can affect the child.
One of our close friends her her step mom never
really respected her. Her step mom's family never really showed
her any of true love, and I see how it
affects her. She doesn't have a relationship that she wants

(32:36):
to have with that woman, and she's fine with that.
And she you know, you uhould ask her dad like
how come you didn't step in at times when things
were happening, And her dad was just like I thought
you would figure it out. It's not for a child
to figure that out. That's also the next Dear Cadene
and Devout. First off, love you guys to pieces and

(32:57):
have been following since Instagram videos to start the start
off your YouTube page. I am a twenty six year
old Jamaican American tourists from New York City and my
man is a twenty seven year old Puerto Rican Jamaican
American sagittarius. I clearly like playing with fire. I'm writing
this letter because my friends don't like my man. We've
been dating for almost two years and the first year

(33:17):
was great, but in November he dropped the bomb. He
told me the day before his birthday shower the day before.
He told me the day before his baby shower that
he was having a baby with his EGX. I confided
in my friends because I don't know why you would
ever do that, because it was devastating, and they have
become my biggest support system. After a month apart, I
chose to continue the relationship, and that's always happened. You

(33:40):
choose to continue, but your friends don't want to. I
have worked through the feelings of betrayal and deceit, but
my friends cannot get over it. They hold it against him,
to the point where one of my friends was told
has told me not to bring him around. Even my
friends that haven't met him don't want me to be
with him. He has been doing the work to be
more open on us, and he has reassured me of

(34:01):
the co parenting relationship he has with his ex, so
I don't have any issues with that anymore. Although I
have moved on, my friends cannot. He is aware of
one of my friends not being his biggest fan, but
I haven't told him how the rest of my friends
feel about him. Most of my friends are in relationships.
We go out together frequently and now that I'm with him,
I would like to invite him out with us or

(34:23):
on our trips. I don't know what to do to
change my friends perception of him. Please help signed stuck
between a rock and a hard place. Ah, that's a
sure fire way to man that all your friends talking
about something, don't bring him around because it isn't that.

(34:44):
I can guarantee you. They have been through some ship
that y'all don't know about that they won't ever tell
y'all because y'all be the same way them holding that
against that man for that long and and being the
be all and end though he can't be around his
wild corny son, Wild Corny, do y'all remember diary people graceists,
no no, no number. Why did I get married? When
they all sat at the table and people started airing

(35:06):
dirty laundry? It's always the people who got the most
to say, who judge other people's relationship the most, who
got the most dirty laundry? Who are you to judge
somebody else's relationship? To see that exactly? That's wild corny.
Your friends are gonna have to get over that ship.
It's like for real. But this is also too, Why
you just do not divorce that information. You know how
many times Devon and I have been, like I said, married, divorced, remarried,

(35:29):
divorced within the same relationship, and nobody else wouldn't tell nobody,
not one person for that reason. There was no reason
for them to know. And people love to pass judge
and project their issues onto other people when they know
that they're going through the same things within the devastation,
within the Oh my god, I can't believe this is

(35:50):
happening moment that you had with the finding out the baby,
because that's a big doozy. That is a pretty big doozy.
I'm not gonna even take take away from the fact
that that was pretty catastrophic. It at the same time,
you and him had to work that out. Facts like
y'all had to work that out. Nobody, nobody has the
right to say unless now, if you if your boyfriend

(36:14):
did something disrespectful to your friends and they don't want
to be around him, I get that. I get that.
But if y'all are working on your own relationship and
y'all say y'all cool, they have no right to tell
you he can't come around like that's the that's the
wildest should I ever heard in my life, Like then,
people don't have the right to do that to other people.
And even if they're not telling him that he can't

(36:34):
come around, I can just envision it being a thing
where he does come around and everyone's making it uncomfortable,
everyone's making it awkward, everyone's whispering to the side that
in itself too is enough for him to feel like, yo,
I don't have to be around this, neither or want
to be around it. Who would want to be around that?
And we've seen, we've seen what happens when people do that,
When people point the finger at other people with their
relationship being right, don't bring them and then years go

(36:57):
by and what happens? Their relationship fail? And SA, wait
a minute, weren't you the same person telling me that
I shouldn't accept this? What are you the same person
telling me I should watch out for this? What happened? Man?
I see all that to say this. Number one, like
my wife said, when you're going through stuff with your
significant other, do not be so fast to spread that

(37:19):
information to your friends and family because it's not so
easy for them to forget. That's number one. Number two,
if you happen to be the friends and the family.
Your job is to be an advocate for your friend
or family members happiness, not be the judge on their lifestyle.
You you, no one has a right to sit up

(37:40):
on a pulpit and say you shouldn't be living like that.
That's why Cadine and I literally say we don't really
like saying that we give relationship or advice or we
we consider ourselves relationship goals because there's no one relationship
that fits everybody. You have to look and find what
works for you. And if you're able to give grace
and forgive and move on and build a happy life,

(38:00):
who is someone else to tell you that they don't
They don't respect with your buildings, So don't bring that
person around. That's why Corny Wi Corny. However, on the
reverse side of things to nobody wants to see their
friend be a doormat. Nobody wants to see their friend
be taking advantage of Nobody wants to see somebody who
they love and genuinely care about in a place of hurt.
So I understand the shock that your friends might have

(38:22):
had in that moment and all that. However, at some point,
let's give a little grace, realize that this is the situation.
You decided to stick around friends, she decided to stick around.
What can you be other than a listening here, a
shoulder to cry on all that good stuff. Because let's
try to make question what do they think is going
to happen about don't bring him around? So now either

(38:44):
two things are gonna happen. Either she's gonna bring him
around you're gonna have attitude, or she's gonna stop coming
around and spend time with him. So you're willing to
not be friends with someone because of what they choose
to do in their own relationship. That's crazy. It's crazy.
On that note, I think you need another break, y'all,
because you're about to about to take me out. I
wish somebody would tell me not to come around because

(39:06):
if Codein is around, all right, y'all, ain't gonna see
me there. Yeah, that's what happens next, then the divide
really happens. We'll be right back, y'all. Let's take a
break because let me come back. I gotta gather myself
after that. M hm, alright, we're back. I think we

(39:27):
got about two more in the tank for y'all, Yeah,
we got time for two more for sure, Hey, Code
and Devo. My fiance and I are both in the
Navy and we have a five year old son together.
We've been together for eight years and during this time
I've been deployed three times and he's currently on his
second deployment. For the first three years of our son's life,
we were stationed about four hours apart, so the work

(39:49):
of parenting was on me. Our son is autistic and
raising him has been a challenge, to say the least.
Like I mentioned earlier, my fiance is deployed and I'm
currently resenting him because I hate the role of being
a single parent of a special needs child. I'm depressed
and suicidal. Wow, While he gets the freedom of not
having to deal with these struggles when I When I deployed,

(40:12):
our son was not at school, so he went to
live with my sister, So my fiance has never had
to experience the single parents struggles. Am I wrong for
wishing that he knew what? He knew what this feels like.
He knows how challenging our son is, and I know
he's not gone by choice, but the resentment is still here,
and I feel like shit about it. I haven't. I
have not expressed my feelings because I understand how stressful

(40:34):
deployments are and I don't want him to feel bad
about this because he's an amazing dad. Our wedding is
next May back in my home island Antiga. Oh. I
can't wait to get to Antiga. And I don't want
to go into marriage with these feelings. Am I wrong
for feeling like this? Please help sis. Yes, people are

(40:55):
not in their children's life for shitty ass reasons, like
they just don't want to be like they just want
to be a dead beat, because they just don't want
to have the responsibility. He's deployed, she said, he has
the freedom to be deployed. Like can you hear that?
Like that's girl, girl, girl, girl, he has the freedom

(41:20):
to be deployed. That's crazy. I can understand if you
weren't in the military and you were married to someone
in the military and you felt like, okay, man, this
is like what it is, but you both understand what
it's like to be deployed. So when the tables turn
and you are deployed and he is home, you're resentful
at the fact that he's gotten help because he was

(41:42):
with your sister. Is there a way for you to
find help maybe to help alleviate some of that, But
you can't be mad at him and blame him. It
sounds like it sounds like she has resentment. Because it's
gonna sound crazy. Her son is autistic. He's a lot
to deal with and she has to deal with it,
and she's rejecting her anger on her husband who's not
there deployed. She's upset because her son is autistic and

(42:05):
she has to deal with that. So who can she
be upset at? Close to it? That's what it sounds
like to me. Now I'm not a therapist, but it
sounds like there's some issues there that need to be
dealt with internally. But growing resentment towards your spouse while
he's fighting for you guys and and his country is heartbreaking.

(42:29):
By like she says she's depressing, I mean, maybe her
depression comes from something else. I think she needs to
go get therapy to find out where her depression comes from.
When you try to figure out on your own why
you depressed, you start to look at things in your
life and then you try to say, well, that's that tip,
it's my son and it's my husband that this is
where I'm depressed. Where it could be an imbalance somewhere,

(42:50):
you know, or it could be something that deep rooted
happened in to you early on that you can't understand.
And I have nothing but most respect for those who
serve our country, So first and foremost is thank you
for that, um. But I also wouldn't know the detriment
of what you guys endure and how that affects you.
And there may be something else underlying, like you said,

(43:10):
and it's now manifesting itself in the form of being
frustrated with your son, UM, and being frustrated with your husband.
So I think it's a little unfair for you to
say that, you know, he's You're out here living this
single parent life while he's just deployed. UM. I don't
think that's that's easy, that's that's unfair, and that's fair.

(43:32):
But the resentment does need to be dealt with, because,
like you said, if you're going to be entering into
a marriage, you definitely don't want to enter into it
with these feelings either, you know, And like I said,
people are not in their children's life for far far
shittier excuses. You know, so um then actually fighting for
his country Like that's yeah, that's crazy. And you know,
it sounds to me like her depression is coming from

(43:52):
something else. She needs to figure out what it is.
I'm pretty sure if she sat down and thought about it,
she wouldn't be upset at her son and her husband.
There's something else there that we don't know, you know,
like this is not enough context for us to understand,
but there is something deeper than that. She really needs
to deal with because I can't even imagine a soldier
saying that someone else had the freedom to deploy. She
knows what it's like to be deploying away from your family,

(44:15):
so she knows that that that's not freedom. So there
must be something going on there and she's trying to
express how to deal with it. Yeah, I mean, she
needs to talk to someone. And as mom's, as dads,
as parents, we have our moments of frustration, trust me,
Like when the vos not here and he's on set
filming and I'm here with the four boys. I do
have my moments when I'm like, bro, you're on break
right now because you're you're filming. You know, you're away

(44:36):
living your dream and doing your job that you wanted
to do and this is the career you chose while
I'm at home with the kids trying to juggle but
at the same time too to understand you know what
I'm saying. I mean, I don't know. It's just a
thing where it's always like a thing where whose life
sucks more in the moment. But that mom thing though,
because dad's don't say stuff like my wife gets she

(44:57):
has the freedom to go to work and I'm here,
like why. I think it depends on the person, because
it could be the same. The same can be said
for a dad who's at home just overwhelmed with watching
their kids and then the wife is on a business
trip or something. I don't think we talked about even
Michelle Obama when she said, you know, being the wife
of the president, you know, you feel like you have

(45:17):
you feel like you're a single mom, and it's like, well,
he's out here running the entire country and you know
what I'm saying, and you're you know what I'm saying,
It's like, wow, even in him sitting at the highest
seat in the land, he gets a not knock from
his wife for not being a present father. You know,
what I'm saying, and that's not what she was saying.
But it's almost like, how, how is that like your

(45:39):
thought process? Because I don't wander. That's never my thought
process when when you're away, I'm never thinking Okay, then
gets a chance to go, We're on to events and
hold stuff while I'm here with the boys, because it
does flip. I don't understand how that becomes your thought
process when I'm away, But that's never my thought process.
You know what I'm saying. I'm just talking about when
things get stressful. Trust me, I'm not speaking from a

(46:00):
place of damn. I hate when Devot is filming because
I'm trying to explain what I said too. But at
the same time too, it's like when you're in a
moment of maybe frustration, or there's a bunch of things
happening at one time in whatever environment you're in. So
I could be at work and there's a bunch of
things that are demanding and deadlines and everything, and by
myself dealing with it, it's easy to just deflect or
take it out on the person who is near to

(46:21):
you or the person who's closest to you, and that's
your spouse, so regardless of what it is, whether it's
with the kids or whether it's work, I think that
sometimes when the pressure is mounting and it's about to
bubble over and you kind of feel like, oh my god,
the walls are closing in around me, you just naturally
feel like the person a k a. Your spouse who's
in another environment. It's just chilling. Right. So what I'm
saying is I understand all that. What I'm saying is

(46:42):
is that where do you think that comes from? Because
even you know, people make jokes about if you want
to see your wife get upset, just go take a nap,
and it's like your wife can't see you enjoying yourself.
Because if your wife sees you enjoying yourself, she just
instantly gets mad. Where do you think that that comes from?
I don't know. You gotta speak to the people about that,
because I actually enjoy you getting sleep. I enjoy getting
you you're getting rist So I'm not sure where that

(47:04):
comes from. Maybe I can You've never heard that. You've
never heard that before. I've never heard the whole a
wife and the nap thing. No, I've never heard that before.
That's not cat. I've never heard that state before. She's captain.
Right now, she's you've never You've never heard, I've never heard.
You never heard the saying of that a woman will
never be happy if they see you having a good time.

(47:25):
You've never heard that. We watched Kevin Hart do the
whole thing about how when he goes away with his
guys and his wife calls, he gotta ask that because
he can't see she can't see. But you don't recall that. No,
I don't. I'm being completely honest. I don't recall that.
But let's go to the next. Let's go to the next.
Listening to all ryall, I guess I'm captain. I'll go
to the next. We'll go to the next time. We'll
leave that alone. Cap um. Hey, guys, you your most

(47:49):
recent episodes about dad's parenting make me think about the
trust issues I have with my mother in law and
sisters in law. Quick background, my husband and I are
an interracial couple. I'm white and he's black. He grew
up completely different. I was sheltered and he was able
to do pretty much anything he wanted. We have three
beautiful girls, and he actually parents more like I do.

(48:09):
Where he we shelter our kids. His family is a
little more rough around the edges. They talk to their
kids crazy, allow their kids to listen to explicit music,
watch all kinds of music videos, have the nine and
ten year olds take the tilers down the street to
the gas stations, smoke around them, et cetera. We have
never allowed them to watch our kids because we don't
trust them. Never actually told them that, but we distance ourselves.

(48:32):
We even moved forty minutes away so that we were
just too far from them to drive to the house. Well, yeah,
y'all not playing. My husband has tried to ask them
to filter these things around our kids, but they brush
them off and do what they want. Anyways, We see
them on holidays and birthdays for a few hours each time,
which is good enough for us. We are doing Are
we doing harm to our kids by not allowing them
to be around this family? Are we sheltering them too much?

(48:56):
Or are we within reason? I guess they keep their
kids alive, but I'm so worried about our kids. It's
being exposed to too much, she said. I guess they
keep their kids alive. Child the shade, but I get it.
Hey as a parent, nothing that anybody tells you is
too much or too little for what you want for

(49:17):
your children. Because what nobody could do is come in
here and tell me what to do with my children
and how to raise them or what they can and
cannot be exposed to. Period. The question is that your
husband have an issue with it, is what I'm wondering,
and he doesn't, okay, So I say that to say,
let them do what they think is great for their children.
Y'all move accordingly and do what's great for yours. If
you feel like holidays are the times and birthdays and

(49:39):
events are the only time that you want to interact
with them, maybe until your children are a little bit
older and they're more exposed to certain things. You've gotta
enough to deal with with kids in school, for example,
Like I'm worried about what my kids are going to
be exposed to being around twenty something other kids on
a day to day basis. There's but so much sheltering
that you can do. Considering the world that we live
in now. As a parent, you are well within your

(50:01):
right to decide what you want your kids to be
exposed to and what timeline you choose to raise exposure
or not. Absolutely, I agree with my wife. No one
can tell you how to raise your kids, but there
are consequences for sheltering your children too much. For example,
as well, Codeine was a R A R D a D.

(50:23):
And she used to say all the time, it's always
the sheltered kids that get to college, and those are
the kids I end up in the hospital with because
of alcohol poisoning because they didn't know how to act,
and the minute they got some freedom they went ham
And you've got three girls sisters, then be the ones.
And I'm just gonna be honest, it's it is the

(50:44):
sheltered kids that I've noticed through ten years of mentorship
who struggle when it's time to make adjustments later on
in life. So typically the fork in the road is
middle school. And I've noticed from just dealing with well,
I've done with boys and girls, because we've had the
track the prototype track team, which was all girls. But
I've noticed that once they hit middle school and they

(51:07):
start to get influences from outside people, the sheltered people
find a way to hide what they truly want to
do from their parents, and the parents often feel like, oh, well,
my son or my daughter is not exposed to that
so I don't have to worry about those conversations, and
before you know what, those children are participating in things
that you would never believe. The parents have no idea

(51:31):
that they're doing. And then by the time you get
to high school, it's a rap. No seriously, that's no cap,
not no cap at all, not like the cap he
was doing on the last question. But I really believe
in it's not just a young girl thing. It's the
same thing for guys. You know how many parents because

(51:52):
I have to do I used to do report card checks,
Facebook checks, Instagram checks. I used to go up to schools,
so the snapchat checks wild and going up to school
and meeting parents, meeting students and I mean meeting teachers
and teachers saying, oh, so you're so and So's mentor,
and I'm just like yeah, and they're like, oh, well,
let me tell you what's going on with so and so,

(52:14):
And then I find out and then when you hear
the parents and my son would never and then I'm like, well,
according to his snapchat that you don't check, this is
him literally doing all the things that you said he
doesn't do. And you're like, I didn't even know you
had a snapchat. Yeah, yeah, exactly. What's an Also a
detriment I noticed with children who are sheltered too much

(52:37):
is that they have hard times making decisions. They have
a hard time making for themselves, and they're expecting mom
and dad to always be one to be there to
tell them what to do in all circumstances, or mom
and dad are going to have to come and talk
to this professor because I don't know what to say
in this moment, and then they leave their children unable

(53:00):
to freethink, to problem solve, to decipher, you know, what
they should do in a particular scenario. That is a
detriment in being too sheltered as well. I'm gonna leave
that at that, because I feel like we can do
a whole podcast and we should on when too much exposure,

(53:20):
When exposure is too much exposure, because there's also the
converse that if you do expose kids too much and
they become too mature, they tried things too early. The
truth of the matter is you have to have a
maturity and how you expose things to your children, and
we should talk about that more in depth, But for
the sake of this listener letter, MS, you have young children.
There is no one else in the world that can

(53:41):
tell you how to parent your children because you spend
the most time with them. Just make sure that you
are doing yourself a service and your chosen a service
by educating yourself on one of the best practices to help. Uh.
I don't want to say matriculate them into society, but
have them assimilate into society without being overwhelmed when they

(54:02):
can do it without you with the over simulation. You
know what I'm saying. So make sure that you find
ways to introduce them to things that you think may
be hard for harmful to them and an age appropriateness
of course, yeah, because what we don't want is for
that shelter to implode. But but if and if her
husband don't want his kids around his family, that's a

(54:23):
decision he makes. There may be something he knows, knows.
He probably like, this is what we're gonna do. We're
gonna move forward to minutes away because my parents and
my family ain't ships. Right. If he's in agreement with
all of that, and that's the decision y'all made, don't
feel bad about it. It would be different though, if
he was just like my wife maybe move out here,
and I'm trying to get the kids to y'all. That's
a whole difference. All right, that's a whole another topic
for another day. All right, y'all, these are great. Please

(54:45):
continue to keep writing in. And I know that we
probably can't get to every single listener letter, but I
do enjoy having this letter episodes because sometimes two is
just not enough at the end of a podcast when
we're speaking about some whole another topics. So keep them coming.
We enjoy seeing them. I know Triple LOVESI thing through
them to pull some topics for us to talk about.
And if you want to be featured as a listener letter,
be sure to email us at dead as Advice at

(55:08):
gmail dot com. That's D E A D A S
S A D V I C E at gmail dot com.
All right, Moment of truth time. Do we have any
moment of truths based off of I guess it could
be any of the listening letters that we've had, or
any thing in general. My moment of truth is about
seeking advice, right, if you're really looking to seek advice

(55:29):
about how to be the best partner to your partner,
seek within. You know, we appreciate you asking us for advice,
take our perspective with a grain of salt, because we
are never to be all the ends all um, these
these situations, the same exact letter with a little different
twist might have a different outcome from us. So don't
take it as you have to listen to everything we

(55:49):
say and do it this way in order to be successful. No,
seek seek your truths for what you want out of
your relationships within never without. Yeah, And also just be
careful and be mindful of who you're speaking to and
who you're venting to, and who you're getting advice from, because,
for example, DEVO and I are only given these perspectives
based off of what you tell us and based off
of our life experiences and the things that we've been
exposed to as well throughout our entire lives. So again,

(56:12):
take it with the grain of salt, and just be
mindful of who you're divulging to, who you're seeking advice from,
because sometimes it just may not be in your best interest.
Facts all right, be sure to follow us on social
media all if you have not been doing so already
dead as the podcast on Instagram, which I love, the
pages continuing to grow and we're trying to pass on
there and keep that going for you guys, So thank

(56:32):
you for engaging there, and then you can find me
on Cadine I Am and I Am Devout and if
you're listening on Apple Podcasts, be sure to rate, review
and subscribe. Dead As Dead Ass is a production of
I Heart Media podcast Network and is produced by Dinorapinia
and Triple Follow the podcast on social media at dead

(56:53):
as the Podcasts and never miss a Thing, I Sailest
me I