Adult Baby Doll with Fortune Feimster

Chelsea is joined in-studio this week by her pal Fortune Feimster. They discuss Fortune’s coming out in her 20’s and dating all the wrong people, why Chelsea Lately was one big frat party, and why Fortune’s marriage works.  Then: A lesbian couple struggles with one set of parents’ refusal to attend their wedding.  And a toxic marriage threatens to keep a daughter from her family’s Thanksgiving dinner.

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Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail]

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Executive Producer Nick Stumpf

Produced by Catherine Law

Edited & Engineered by Brandon Dickert

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, Catherine, Hey Chelsea. We are fresh off the boat
from my Orka. We took a sailboat all the way
there from the Pacific coast, so that took us O God,
I don't know. Trace says, yes, you went to Row significantly.
I came home and I told my Bell and Felix,
who worked with me at my house with me in

(00:22):
concert because I'm doing so much. I told them that
my Spanish was deteriorated in Spain. I think the last
week was the worst because I had three full Spanish
speakers there and well, you also speak Spanish, and I
realized just how basic and fundamental my Spanish is. So
I told him no more speaking English at home. This
We're only speaking Spanish from now on. And so now

(00:43):
I can't understand anything the funk that's happening. I don't
know what she's talking about, but I we're sticking with it,
and I'm learning. Mam Bell is also dual LINGO now
for yeah, Well she I'm just like, listen, We're just
gonna fucking figure it out. She loves to correct me,
so it's perfect. This is a huge a tudity for
her to put me in my place. It's like a

(01:03):
total status shift. So I am winding up my stand
up tour. Vaccinated and Horning is coming to a screeching
halt at the end of the year. I have my
last dates coming up, and these are the last opportunities.
You have to also buy merch from the website Chelsea
Handler dot com if you want Vaccinating Horny merch or
Captain's hats that say We're the Captains now for women only,

(01:25):
our t shirts for men in your family that say
I'm sorry because they should be. I only have a
few dates left. I'm going to be in Wheatland, California,
this Saturday night, and then I'm going to Tucson, Arizona
next weekend. November five is Tucson, November six is Colorado Springs,
and then Rockford, Illinois, Minneapolis, Rosemont, Illinois, two shows in Tampa,

(01:48):
a show in Fort Myers, Florida, Daytona Beach, Hollywood, Florida, Concord,
New Hampshire, Wooster, Mass wilkes Berry, Pennsylvania. Wilkes Berry, Pennsylvania,
there I said it, and then San Diego and Riverside, California,
and then Baltimore, Maryland, and then my very last date
is December six in Reading, Pennsylvania. So this will be

(02:11):
the last of me performing. How do you feel about that?
Very relieved and excited. I mean, I have had a
really fun time touring. I liked my schedule. Three months on,
one month off, three months on, and now these last
couple of dates, I just have like two shows each weekend,
which is totally doable, and so now my special will
come out. Now I can use these shows to come

(02:31):
up with my next hour. I just don't know what
I'm going to talk about. Do you try out like
new material as you're sort of closing out of show. Yeah,
I've been trying out some new material. Yeah, I mean,
it's hard to come up with an hour, so I've
got to really use these dates to do it because
I have all the time, you know what I mean,
Like I could stay on stage for two hours and
screw around, but I've been doing this set for so long.

(02:52):
I'm sorry. I can't stop touching my breast. I have
this weird sports brawn today that's like turning them into
yeah us and I don't like that feeling. And then
they also look like they're coming It's not the right look.
I've already got a unit boo going on too, but
it's more because of my shirt, like the design on
my shirt, which is what's his name, Eddie from my
Iron Maiden brand, But yeah, he's is that a real person?

(03:16):
Because I mean, I wish so. I love spooky things.
I'm also hosting the Critics Choice Awards, you guys. That's
exciting on January, Yes, which you'll be aired on what
Never Work is at c W. I'm not sure c
W great, Yeah, But I do want to talk about
something Katherine, that I learned about you. I want to
say first, I forgive you because on the way over

(03:36):
I forgot I had a COVID test because I'm doing
a TV show in the morning, the Talk, and I
made a little let us wrap with some ground turkey
and some onions. And normally when we're doing a podcast,
I wouldn't do that, you know what I mean, I
wouldn't have onions when I'm coming in to speak so
closely and sit so closely next to you. But as
you revealed over our vacation, in my worka you bring

(04:01):
hard boiled eggs onto fucking airplanes as a snack, not
two or three like nine trainer. There was a photo
that her husband Brad showed supplied me with. This is
after my foot breakdown because of people and their bare

(04:22):
feet on planes. I'm still having a massive influx of
pictures of feet out on airplanes, and I just want
to let everyone know if they're wearing socks, that is
not as offensive as a barefoot. It is the bare
foot that is not clevered or clean or hygienic, and
it's inappropriate. It's like a it's disgusting. And they're putting

(04:43):
their feet on stuff like screens. Some people are putting
them on the ceiling. Some people are putting them on
the windows. It's just gross to have your bare feet exposed,
and also on a dirty, dirty vessel like an airplane.
But back to you, I am flabber gas sooner I was,
You're at a flabber gastado because I cannot believe that

(05:07):
you would think that that is acceptable. That is the
worst smell there is. I know it's pretty bad. I
have been known to bring a full bag of eggs
on a plane, you know, to share with people. Share.
No one wants to share. It's just like a perfect
little shot of protein, and I know it's it's pretty bad.
It's pretty heinous. But if you want the protein, get

(05:31):
something else, get a full protein bars make you fart
on planes, I'm convinced, well, they make you fart anyway
and on planes, But the good protein bars actually don't
make you fart. But there's other ways to get protein,
and you need to find out what they are. I
do love a beef jerky. That's not that great either,
by the way, that smells, so that's better than hard
boiled eggs, though I mean eggs you need to eat

(05:53):
right away so the smell is gone and they're not warm.
And I love hard boiled eggs. I have a whole
refrigerator of that because that's where they belong, in the
refrigerator at home, not untraveled. Speaking of hard boiled eggs,
I have my longtime girlfriend here today. Her name is well, actually,
why don't you say a few words and see if
anybody can recognize your voice. This is Chelsea's girlfriend. She's

(06:19):
she's not only my girlfriend, she's also in a marriage
and I'm part of their throuble. This is the theme
in my life as I'm a third wheel to lots
of different couples. I know, I know because I put
out left right and sets her. No, No, we haven't
ever had sex yet, but I'm still we're still in
a throat all, we're in an emotional trouble. It's Fortune Feamster. Everybody.

(06:42):
You may know her from you. We would probably have
been introduced to her on Chelsea Lately, where I was
introduced to her, and now the whole world gets to
enjoy her. And she just walked into my podcast office
or whatever the funk this is and she I was like, oh,
Fortune person. I was grabbing her leg. I'm like, this
feels smaller than normal. And you revealed that you'd lost

(07:05):
forty pounds because she played a c I agent c
I a CEE I not a clatorial investigator, a Central
intelligence officer, central Intelligence agent agent. And her most recentse
in a Netflix show. Yeah, it's gonna be on Netflix.
Sits with Arnold Schwartzenegger. Oh is that how you say

(07:25):
his name, Arnold Schwartzenegger. I don't. I have a very
thick accident. I don't pronounce anything right. Arnold Schwarzenegger. It's
a very tricky name to say, so we'll just call
him Big Arnold. Was how was that I was working
with Arnold? It was awesome. I was out in Toronto
for five months filming. Yeah, and it was all action stuff.

(07:47):
I was, you know, running, I know I was running,
had a gun stuff. Wow, you'll be very turned on.
I can't wait to see that. So six months there.
If I've meant to tron too. I saw you had
to cancel some gigs because you got trapped there. Had
to cancel my European tour because production got extended for

(08:08):
almost a month. Oh yeah, and you also have a
new Netflix special that just came out. Congratulations on that.
Thank you. It's called Good Fortune. Why why didn't you
do Fortune Cookie? I don't know. I didn't think about
for the next one, the next one. Yeah. If you
just put your name in everything, like I put my
name in everything, nobody could tell the difference between one

(08:30):
thing or the next. It works. Yeah, it's my my
new hour. I'm very happy with its awesome. Thank you.
I shot in Chicago while I was filming this action show.
So when do you think you'll be going back on
the road. Um, I'm gonna do like club dates in
November and December around California, and then announced a big
tour starting the end of January. Oh, great hit a

(08:53):
bunch of new cities with new materials. So if you
have any ideas of things that should talk about, let
me ship. I know I have talked the same boat.
I'm just wrapping up this tour and I'm like, okay,
I have to come up with some new material and
I'm like, I should be doing it now since I
already taped my special, but since my special isn't out yet,
I just keep holding on to the same show. I
don't know fucking time for any creative juices right now.

(09:16):
That's the hardest part about putting out a special is
riding a whole new agg I just I know, I know,
tell me about you because when I there are certain
comics that like to run their hour before they tape it,
like two hundred times. I can't do that. I like
run it seventy or seventy five times, and then I'm
theater dates after I've run it in clubs, so maybe

(09:37):
like eighty five altogether. But I can't go past a
hundred because then I'm just sick of my own material.
I this one, I did a lot. I did a
hundred cities and about a hundred sixty shows. Wow, that's
a lot. Fifteen of those were post filming sows, right,

(09:58):
And were you able to come up with some new
material while you were doing those new shows or did you? Yeah?
And then you have to and then here you go
back on the road and you have to startch five
minutes into an hour. You're like, ohh ship, isn't it funny?
Every single time. It's the same thing with a book.
Every single time I'm done writing a book, I'm like,
that's it. I'm done, nothing left. And then of course

(10:20):
you're like, fuck, I gotta write another book and I
gotta do another stand up show. How many books have
you written now? Uh? Six? Six? I'm on my seventh
right now, I'm writing a new one. And and I
just had a phone call with my editor this morning
and I'm like, listen, this is all over the shop
and she's like, do you want to show me some stuff.
I'm like, nope, it's not made for anyone to see.
I've never written a book. I thought you did write.

(10:43):
Oh that seems weird, like everyone from Chelsea lately wrote
a book. I didn't. I was I didn't think at
the time that people wanted to book for me. I
felt like it wasn't the right time. But I feel
like I'm maybe have a book in me now. Yeah. Absolutely,
I feel like everybody has a book in I've never
I've never done it. Yeah, well that seems like something

(11:04):
you should tackle that. Do you want to write it
for me? Yeah? I love. I would love to be
a ghostwriter. Can you imagine you trying to write my story?
And then this bitch had some brownies? Oh, like I
saw the clip we did. We did an episode of
night show. I think it was a Netflix show where
we all did cannabis. We had a cannabis dinner and
fortune was definitely the highest and the funniest for about

(11:28):
They actually set me my social media team set me
clips of that dinner and I was like, you're not
capturing how ridiculous this got. I was like, go back
and look at the footage. You need that, we need
the out takes. Out takes. We laughed until we couldn't breathe.
You thought she thought there was military inside my house.
She's like, is that man wearing a military uniform? I'm like,

(11:49):
what he had on? Camo pants? And he was he
was the lighting guy and he was breaking the lights
down and I started yelling no lights left. I was
high for like six days after that dinner. I mean
it was because it was a cannabis infused dinner, so
that the food, everything, everything. So just when you thought

(12:12):
you couldn't get higher, you did. And she had never
had no self control with food. Well, but you also
don't have any self control with cannabis because you had
never done it before. Never. Yeah, I had not done
a lot of edible so I didn't know the ratios.
And I can't believe you didn't get sick. I don't
I was high until noon the next day, but I
did not get sick. But everything was very fuzzy. Yeah.

(12:35):
My one of my eyes didn't open the next day
until eight p m. It was a wild time. But
you we did, you know, go through the stages of
laughing uncontrollably. We got so hungry after the dinner. Your
assistant was gonna go get us burgers, and I went, yeah,
I want a burger, and then you get or we
could just get a wrap. And I was like, oh,

(12:58):
wrap what You're gonna get high and eat something semi healthy? What?
And then I came to under peer pressure and I went, yeah,
she's like she's like, I'll have a turkey rap spinached dortia,
good memory, that's exactly whatever. Some some good fats on there,

(13:18):
like avocano. What drugs did we try and didn't? I
give you a little mushroom in Montreal, Yeah, but I
didn't end up doing it. Oh Jack jack too much?
Somebody gave me don't work. I think he has a
high tolerant. Those were weak ones. Actually, you know how
I knew they were we I so this guy gave

(13:40):
me light, medium, and then strong. I would have heard
of my friend Allison's house one day and she's like, oh,
you have to try these mushroom gummies. I was like,
oh my god, mushrooms are my favorite. That's more. I
like mushrooms more than cannabis. And because they just make
you awake. I've never had mushrooms. I know, well, why
we don't know. I'm that Nancy Reagan campaign and really

(14:00):
stuck with me. But you're a lesbian and she wouldn't.
She wouldn't approve of that either. Fortune, so you need
to divorce yourself. You have to divorce yourself from Nancy Reagan.
Fortunate as someone who had never done mushrooms, and I
did like one of those little light gummies. When we
were in ma Yorka with Chelsea, it was so chill

(14:21):
you barely feel it. You just giggle, you have a
great time, and then you like feel yourself kind of
coming down from it at the end of dinner, like
it's not scary. I'm pretty chill though already. Do you
think I need to be chilling? It just it's a
good point, Like I guess it would be already. Maybe
I'm already on mushroom and maybe I don't know. I

(14:43):
saw that trip you guys took. Now. Chelsea had two
groups of friends come visit her in ma Yorka. The
first group they were doing like forty mile bike rads
and I was like, no thanks. And then the second
group was like we're eating dinner every night where everyone's
bringing food. I was like, that's the that's the group
for me. Yeah, I had. Actually there was a group
preceding those two groups, so there were three groups. The

(15:06):
second group where these exercise maniacs all my friends from
Whistler and and who basically left my Orca ran a
marathon in Berlin and then came in six in the
World Championships for triathlog the little the little that little
claym muscle. Yeah, she's she's a fucking lunatic. That's not

(15:28):
want well by the way I listen. I actually I
was like, this is too much exercise, Like one night
I had heat stroke. I was like, this is too much.
But then when the last group came in, I turned
into and and I took like four of them. I'm like,
who wants to king? Who wants to go hiking? We
went on a five hour hike by accident with Katherine's
husband was there. It's a spearheaded thank god, because I

(15:49):
was by Have you ever tried to follow a trail map?
Oh my god, I can't follow a map or anything.
So if I had been left to my own devices,
I would be bed right now. And it was a
tricky hike. I mean it was high and scary and
we had to climb hike down to the water to
hike back up. Finally our cousin, my cousin Molly picked
us up because we were like, this is a bunch

(16:11):
of noise. Yeah, the one that I'm sleeping with, I
always go, yeah, that's funny. Yeah you that hike part,
that's too much for me. I would have been eating
calamari somewhere. Well, we did, we ate and drank. Katherine
was there, Katherine and Brad came. We had so much

(16:33):
sangria every day at lunch and then I just like,
I just and then I would just I get motivated
by drinking, like I want to go exercise again, like
because so I can burn off the you know, because
you're sober up quickly. But it's just sangria also, which
is basically watered down with juice. Yeah, it's like a

(16:53):
it's like a Caprison. Yeah, that's true. It's an adult.
Did you drink a lot? Do you think you drank
more during your days on Chelsea Lately? Or do you
think you drink more now? I probably drink more now. Yeah,
I'm so much healthier than I was on Chelsea Lately,
But I think I drink the same. Yeah, Like how
to eat handle your liquor? Well, do you know you

(17:17):
never act like sloppy? Well I did, I did? I had. Yeah,
now you're a lady. Now I'm elegant. Now I'm elegant.
Was the love of the stories you would tell about
going out and saying that limit the lemon, that lemon
juice comes in and empty. That was hilarious. I would

(17:39):
also take those little squeezeable lemons you buy in the supermarket.
They have the lime and lemon which is fresh lime juice.
Well it's not fresh because it's sucking canned, but I
would take that and then i'd go to the Improv
to do a set. But I did trust their lemons
because you know, it's the Improv and I don't want
their fruit, and so I would squeeze that little lemon
into my vodka wherever I went, and it became my
person and all canteen. That is so funny. Just I

(18:02):
just picture you with just getting a lemon out of here.
Where do you wait? Let's talk about Chelsea lately taste
what are Let's see what's one of your favorite memories
that sticks out? Can you think of something off the
top of your head? Because we dressed you up a lot.
It was par to line, abusive, wait for fortunate it,

(18:25):
but she always had such a great attitude about it.
You treated me like your adult baby doll, like I
can just put fortune and whatever I want. I was
just happy to get a paycheck because when I got
your show, I had had had no money. I was
out of money, and you became a right well at
first she became a writer, but immediately we were like,

(18:47):
she has to be on camera. Yeah. When I interviewed
with you, I owed my roommate like two grand and rent.
It was. It was dire, straight wow. I wasn't sure
what I was gonna do. I mean, I wouldn't have
gone home. I would have, you know, figured it out.
I would have gotten a job somewhere, Starbucks, wherever, I
would have done whatever. But the dream was to be
in the business and to be a working comedian. I

(19:10):
interviewed with other people first and then had the meeting
with Chelsea, and I had no, you know, no expectations
of it because I didn't think I had a chance.
And honestly, I think that I was first. I think
I was your first interview of the day. And now
that I know you, I know that like you just
make your mind up about something and don't want to

(19:31):
come back to have to do something. So I think
luckily you liked me, and you got up in the
middle of my interview like ten minutes into it, and
you go, okay, well, thank you, and I was like, oh,
she hates me, and you left and I called my
you know manager. At the time, I was like, well,

(19:52):
I guess I said something to offender. She got up
in the middle of the interview, and y'all offered me
the job the next day. And now that I know
you know that, you just were like, yeah, I like her,
and I also don't want to have another meeting, So
it was a little bit of luck. You know. Well,

(20:12):
I think anyone that would have met you would have
understood the quality and the contribution you were gonna you
were about to make because we had such a band
of idiots on that show, so that anybody with a
good sense of humor, and that made me laugh, and
you know it was going to be a good time
because that was like a proper like fraternity party. That
was before well, actually no, there was hazing. Probably, yeah,

(20:35):
you guys pranked each other all is home and I think, my, yeah,
my second day, you send an email from my computer
to like everyone saying that I like to get naked
and have to take meetings and hot tubs something like that.
I would get in early because I'm an early bird,
so I would get in early and then just start
sending emails from different people's account. This was before you

(20:57):
could get in trouble for those two kind of kinds
of things I would send. I would send emails to
human resources and be like, I found two naked people
in the kitchen this morning, and then send them a
picture of the employees, and then they would have a
human resource meeting. We would come out to people. I
would come out for other people. I would set people
up on dates with people from e Like. It was
so inappropriate everything we did, but it was a lot

(21:19):
of fun. Yeah, I remember. I remember one day we
were sitting there because we would have every time there
was a birthday, we would have cupcakes or whatever that
person wanted. If they wanted Mexican food, whatever their favorite
thing is, we would set it up. And I remember
sitting after work one day and we're all sitting there
eating Mexican food, drinking Margarita's. It was like Margarita Thursdays
or something, and I was like, do you think other

(21:40):
people laugh as much as we do? And everyone's like no, no,
And now that I'm not on that show, I realized, no,
people don't laugh as much as we were laughing because
it was constant stupidity, and it didn't We didn't really
even care what other people. We never cared how the
show was being perceived, which is why I think it
was just success because no one was worried about it.

(22:02):
We just did stupid, stupid sketches. We're like, oh, we
should dress somebody up like this, or they show us
a clip from some stupid reality show or something that
Tara Reid did, and we'd be like, oh, let's reenact
it and it will make her be Tara read and
show we could be you know, a bowling ball or
whatever we decided, and we would just run with it,
and we didn't have any time to be self conscious. Yea,

(22:25):
which is I think that really one of the key
ingredients to a successful endeavor is to not overthink it. Yeah.
And I think people just really love that you put
together all these comedians that like, you love seeing everyone
interact with each other, because everyone would make you other
laugh or pick on each other, or you would give
people crap. So many people still to these days say

(22:46):
they felt like they were a part of that with us,
Like they were going to bed watching us be silly
with each other, and that kind of was like lightning
in a bottle. You don't see comedians like that interact
in that way. Anyway, we're gonna do it again. We're
gonna reboot it, and we're going to do it again. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
because now we have all of us and then this
whole new crop of comics that are fucking awesome and funny,

(23:10):
and we can mix them all together. And I just
want to put a show together where you can show
comedians being funny without being racist or sexist. Since everybody
seems to be fucking complaining about parameters, It's like you
could do all of those things without being offensive to people,
you know. I want to show them how easily that
is done. Now, would you do that like an every
night kind of thing again? I don't know. I don't know.

(23:30):
I mean we're having the conversations now, so we'll see
where it leads. I don't know. I mean, like I
still want to, like go to Spain. Yeah I can't.
I can't be a year round job. Okay, let's talk
and I have Spain. My sister is like, how are
you going to do a real job with your lifestyle
that you've been I could only work two hours a day.

(23:54):
But one thing that's changed for you because you had
a lot of different love interests during the show, and
we're always very concerned about Fortune's love interests. We always were.
We always didn't want anyone dating her for the wrong reasons.
And she's so sweet and loving and gullible that at
that time you were. I mean, you're still sweet and

(24:15):
loving and probably a little bit gullible. And there were
a couple of, you know, weird ones that came through.
But now you have been in a successful relationship with
Jack's for over ten seven seven years. Yeah, I came
out late, you know, I didn't come out until five,
So I was making a lot of mistakes. Like you
take the TV show and television in general away from

(24:39):
the mix and me just trying to date. I was
making a lot of mistakes that you should make when
you're eighteen, nineteen, early twenties, you're making college those kind
of things. I was making a lot of those mistakes
in my late twenties, early thirties, and you happen to
be around for some of that part in my early thirties.
You know, just you don't know who's dating you for
the right reasons, or all of a sudden, I'm on

(25:00):
a television show that females are obsessed with So you know,
a lot of women kind of came out of the
woodwork because they loved you and they love the show,
and so sometimes you were like, do they like me
or do they just want to meet Chelsea? Like, I
didn't know. So I went through some experiences where you
find that out and some were some were good, Some

(25:21):
intentions might not have been good for some people. But yeah,
it took me a while to really figure out what
I wanted and what I was willing to put up
with and what I felt I deserved. And that took
me till, you know, mid thirties to really figure that out.
And then I met Jack's Like, right as I was
figuring that out, I met her. So tell us about

(25:42):
your relationship with her, because it feels very healthy, it
feels very supportive. She moved out here to be with you.
She doesn't always come on the road with you, but
you guys obviously spend a fair amount of time together
on the road. By the way, nobody should have to
go on the road with anybody because it's a fucking
ball buster, and that we shouldn't have to expose that
to anybody. So I get not wanting to do that,
but tell me about some of the growth that you've

(26:04):
had within that relationship and how that supports your mental
health and career and all of the things that you
know you bring to the table. Yeah, I think I
met her at a town where I was tired of
being someone's option. I had a lot of people kind
of treating me like you'll do for now kind of thing.
And I remember specifically being like, I'm done with that.

(26:26):
I want to meet somebody that wants to be with me,
and I'm a priority for them their priority for me.
And she came into my life and right away I
knew that there was something different about her and about
our connection, and we just clicked. And we were long
distance for a year because she was living in Chicago,

(26:46):
and then yeah, she like made that decision to leave
her job. She was a kindergarten teacher in Chicago and
inner City Chicago, really amazing teacher. And I remember being like,
am I ruining this person's lie by like having her
come out to l A. She's such an amazing teacher
and she loves Chicago. But you know, she did that

(27:07):
for me. She wanted us to work and us to
be together, and I was touring a lot and acting,
and if she hadn't done that, you know, we might
not have been able to to make it because my
schedule was so crazy. But she was willing to put
me first and no one had ever done that for
me before. And so she moved here and we just

(27:29):
kind of started this life together. And yeah, it's a
very I think, very healthy relationship that you know, we
support each other and she's very helpful with career stuff.
She's kind of like part of the circus now. She's
always I don't there's no decision, I don't run by her.
She's very much at the helm of everything I do.

(27:51):
She was executive producer on both my specials. Yeah, like
and very good at it too, not just like putting
her name on it. She's going frame by frame with me,
watching all the shows and all the shots and making decisions,
picking music, helping with fonts, you know, all that stuff
that goes into these specials. You don't think about my
team as they say, loops her into everything. She's very

(28:14):
much a part of things more than people realize. So
you know, she's just wants me to succeed and be happy,
and that's what you want, you know, I want her
to be happy where I'm always like, what can we
do to give you balance? You know, if you don't
want to go on the road, don't. Let's find things
that are important to you and things like that. You know,

(28:36):
and do you guys, how do you guys handle any
friction in your relationship when that comes up? Or does
it not come up? Do you not have any friction
every I mean, I don't know any couple that doesn't.
I was just pretending to ask the question. I didn't
mean that. Yeah, I mean, we we definitely have our
moments like everybody, but I try with her because she
is my wife. We got married two years ago. Even

(28:57):
if you're like or disagreeing or fuss in at each
other or getting at each other's nerves, try never to
be mean, you know what I mean, or say mean
things because those things are hard to walk back. But
that's not your personality anyway, right, that's my personality. You're
just you would never be mean. I don't know, I

(29:18):
don't I've never seen I'm sure. I'm sure I've been
a dick plenty here right now, say something mean, Yeah,
it's it's the accident. But I get on her nerves
for sure, I'm a little I definitely have tunnel vision

(29:39):
when it comes to my career, and I have to
really make myself step outside of myself sometimes to be
like you are being too I on the prize, Like
you have a wife, you have other people in your
life you have to think about. You cannot just be
thinking about a dog that needs to be brushed. Yes,
I have to press feed my dog. You know what

(29:59):
I'm because you get so wrapped up in work. No,
I get it. I know there. I'm always there. I
have to always remind myself to have a life. I mean,
even though it doesn't look that way from afar, It's
an internal struggle I have all the time, you know.
And I never want her to feel neglected or like
I'm not putting our relationship as a priority. So and
and I'm guilty of for sure, like getting too much

(30:22):
tunnel vision with my career that sometimes I'm like, oh, shoot,
I did it. I should have been better about her birthday,
you know, things like that. I don't want to be
that person that neglects my person because of career, because
at the end of the day, I do want to
be successful, but I don't want that to be everything
it can't be everything. I have to have balance. Yeah,

(30:44):
so that's my challenge. Yeah, I think that's very relatable
to anybody in this industry. You know, it's like ambition
versus balance, because ambition is you want to remain relevant,
right and you want to have people asking you to
do things, and you want things to not be as
challenging as they were. But I think as you become
more and more successful, it's like there's different sorts of

(31:06):
challenges and it's it never seems to this business, it
never seems me enough, you know what I mean, Like
for your own self, but for even other people. Like
I can be like, oh, I've got a special coming
out and an action series and people are like what else?
Why is that not enough? But it never feels like
there's enough, Maybe because we consume so much so quickly

(31:29):
now with entertainment, it just seems like everyone's like what next,
What next? One next? That you feel like you can't
even stop and breathe to like enjoy what you just did.
You're like thinking about the next thing. So that will
be the thing in my relationship that I have to
really pause and make sure I don't get too stuck

(31:50):
on that career stuff that I'm making the person that
I love feel like they're not a priority. Yeah, And
do you guys, have you guys ever been to counsel
couple's counseling? Early on, we went to a couple of
sessions because I was in therapy. I originally went to
therapy to get to the bottom of why I was
choosing the women I was choosing, why I was putting

(32:11):
up with certain things and not thinking more highly of
myself in that way. So she came and did a
few sessions with that therapist that I was with at
the time, but we haven't That was a guide ecologist
by the way, It wasn't a therapist. I'm just here
to tell you that I referred you to her and
that was alogist. Well it all checked out clear, maybe

(32:37):
all clear, So she proceeded with caution. Uh no, we
haven't done it since, but I would be open to it,
you know, I mean, I think it doesn't it couldn't hurt.
I would imagine it would help with your communication in general.
If there's any anybody that's feeling like they can't say something,
I would hope that would be the place you could. Yeah,
I was watching that show A Couple of Therapy that

(32:58):
we were talking about. Have you ever seen that on
show time? A couple of Therapy. It's like a real,
real life couples with this therapist. I love that ship.
I fucking love watching couples in therapy because you see
the transformation that happens, and you see when there's no
hope for a couple where somebody's just done and the
other person. But sometimes it seems that way in the beginning,
and then they come together and then it's really about

(33:19):
listening to the other person. Some people can't hear, you know,
like when there's conflict, they just shut down and they
can't hear what the other person is saying, and then
that becomes that cycle. But anyway, speaking of counseling, we're
gonna start counseling right now because that's what we're doing.
People call in for advice. So, Katherine, what do we
have on deck for this afternoon? We have some bad parents,

(33:41):
is what we have? Kinky kinky parents. I mean, actually
one of there might be something, but we'll take a
quick break and we'll be right back with some callers
and we're back. We're back fortune still the tub. So
I'm back alone. Oh there she is, She just puffed out.

(34:03):
Let me just put my towel on. Hold on, I'm
ready for amazing. Well, don't forget to hang up your
LUFA and our first emails from Tarran Terreen says, Dear Chelsea,
my name is Tarran and I'm a thirty or four
year old lesbian from Atlanta, Georgia. I'm set to get
married to the love of my life this year. We

(34:23):
are both absolutely thrilled to finally be getting married, as
we've been engaged for almost three years and together for five.
My immediate family shares our excitement and has been nothing
but supportive of us. However, her parents do not have
the same feelings, and we've been led to believe that
they will not be attending our wedding. This thought absolutely
breaks my heart because I've grown to know her family

(34:44):
and love them dearly. What's even more heartbreaking is having
to listen to my fiance as she tries to navigate
how to talk to her parents. They have said they
want to talk about it, but have made zero effort
in discussing details about our wedding and state only vague
religious reasons as to why they're not supportive. My question
is this, do you think I need to try and
say anything to her parents or should I continue to

(35:06):
stay on the sidelines and just be an emotional support
for my fiance. She's let me know she doesn't want
me to talk to them about it, and I should
let it go. But I can't help but hurt for her,
and I wonder if talking to them might help them
see a different perspective. I absolutely love your podcast, and
I highly appreciate any advice you have for me. Taran See,

(35:27):
I'm always an interloper. I like to get into people's
business and get involved. So I don't know that this
is the right advice for you, but okay, so yeah,
fortunately you give the advice, I'll go after you. I
just I always overstep and it's not always received warmly,
so I can't say that it's the right thing to do.

(35:49):
But I would make a case in writing about the
impact that this is going to have on I would
write an email. Yeah, I would just be like, this
is going to be forever. We're gonna get married and
you are going to forever. Have missed that moment in
your child's life and what you're foregoing like not with
the idea that the outcome was going to be to

(36:10):
change their mind, but to just try everything possible to
persuade them to reconsider one of the most important moments
in their daughter's life. How about your fortune? Well, I mean,
I think I can totally see you doing that because
you're there's nothing that you're going to not speak out about.

(36:30):
That's the beauty of you. If you see something, you
say something you do like if you see something that's wrong,
you're like, I don't, this isn't right, which is great.
I'm a bit more passive in my opinion, I would
be more of the support system for the partner because
she said that she doesn't want her to speak out,
you know what I mean. Like, but I also from

(36:53):
my experience with people in the gay thing and the
religious thing together, whatever she's right is gonna write, it's
not going to change their mind right now. I think
people have to evolve eventually or not. She could write
the letter, I don't. I guess if you thought, what's
the worst that will happen, they're already not coming right,

(37:14):
so there is kind of nothing to lose. Ish But
to me, I I don't think it will change their opinion.
When it comes to the wedding, because those deep seated
religious beliefs take a while to unravel, that's for sure. Yeah,
and they do unravel. Yeah, people are gonna evolve or
see how happy you are. But also, it's your day,

(37:36):
it's your wedding day. It's about you too, And do
you want that there? Do you even? I know it's
sad for your partner, but do you want someone there
that doesn't wish you? Well, yeah, that's a good point, actually,
But I think who wouldn't want their parents there? I
get that too. Obviously it's sad no matter what. But

(37:59):
I would want my parents there for sure. But I
don't know how good it would feel seeing them across
the room eating a slider, looking like they hate every
moment of being there. Yeah, but if you think about it,
and they they stared together for many years, and then
there's always that gaping whole of their wedding day that
they're her parents missed. It's like they're missing out on

(38:19):
the rest of her life in a sense, like they're
missing this real pivotal moment. And I would want to
lay it out to give you every last opportunity to
make sure you don't miss that even if it's just
the mother who came or the father who came, or
whoever's less religious or I don't know, you know how
to frame it. But I mean I would do it,
but I'm not recommending that you do it, because I

(38:41):
just can't control myself. Well. Also, if you do do it,
if you want to write that email, do it with
the expectation of having no expectation. Yeah, absolutely, I agree
with that advice. Yeah, just and softly with love. Yeah.
You can't be like you did this, you did that.
It has to be like paneled with some kid gloves. Yeah.

(39:02):
And the fact that Terrence said she also cares for
these parents, I think is a really good sign. You know.
She's not like, oh, I hate them, they're terrible. She's like, no,
I also care for them, and it hurts me that
they wouldn't be there. I do love the idea of
writing a letter so it's not as like heightened emotions.
But I don't know. I don't understand why people think
that this, like sitting out a moment in their kid's life,

(39:24):
is going to punish them or teach them a lesson,
or that they're not participating, that it's going to change
any results. I don't know that they think that. I
think they just think this is sacrilegious, Like I can't
lay witness to this because it's not under my belief system.
I don't think that they're trying to teach them a lesson.
It's more like we can't sully ourselves with this kind

(39:45):
of sing I'm not going to get into heaven if
I go to this, right, yeah, yeah, maybe an email.
I mean, maybe I'm coming around on this. Maybe an email.
I don't know, don't what Chelsea, right, Sorry, what the
fuck is wrong? I would handle it because at the

(40:07):
end of the day, there are her parents. I would
handle it as respectful as possible, and they are going
to be your in laws for many years to come.
And I don't think that means to like not ever
push back against it. Goodness knows, I have pushed back
against things with my own in laws. But at the
same time, I do have the expectation and I know
that they're going to be in my life for a
very long time. So what I say or do, it

(40:28):
lasts and it matters. But if there is one thing
that either of you would say, if these parents decide
not to go to the wedding unfortunately kind of touched
on this, But is there something that you would say
to help this couple kind of feel better about the outcome. Well,
it's the same thing I would say for any event
where you're disappointed and something that's not there. You have

(40:48):
to celebrate the people that are there. You know. It's like,
if you don't sell out a show, you can't be
worried about the hundred tickets that aren't sold. You have
to worry about the fifteen hundred tickets that are sold
and the people that paid money to see you come.
And in the case of a wedding, you have to
think about all of the people that are there supporting
you and loving you, and that if you go to
someone's wedding, you're usually going to be friends with that
person for a very long time. You know, that's an

(41:09):
investment into a friendship and that's a beautiful thing. And yeah,
as fortune step, you just have to think of it
as like negative energy. We don't want that there on
our special day. We want people that are applauding us
and like supporting us. And to focus on that love
and to keep reminding yourself of the gratitude you have
for all the people that are there. Yeah, I mean
I had a wedding party. We got married in Covid

(41:31):
and had a wedding party a year later, and there
were a couple of family people that couldn't come for
various reasons. And I was focused at first on that,
being a bummer and being like disappointed in that, and
then I finally had to let it go and it
ended up being such a special night and had so

(41:51):
many friends there and love and the friends that couldn't come,
you know, I heard from and you have to just
lean into that love. And the positive part of it
is at the end of the day, you met someone
you're marrying, And if you think about that, it's like,
it is so hard to find a person that you
want to settle down with and that wants to settle

(42:12):
down with you. Just finding each other was a miracle,
a miracle. So lean into that and recognize that you
did it. You found someone you want to be with.
They love you, and that is the true celebration, and
all the other stuff is just you know, it's people
there loving even supporting you. That's the positive cherry on top.

(42:32):
But it is not what it's about. It's about YouTube.
It's funny to use the word miracle because Gwen Stefani
uses that word all the time, and I whenever I
see her, I always make fun of her. I'm like,
not everything is a miracle, Gwen, And she's like, meeting
Blake was a mirror, and that happened. She goes, meeting
Blake was a miracle. It's a miracle. I was like,
he was sitting right next to you on the voice.
Why is that a miracle? And she's like, Chelsea, it's

(42:53):
a miracle that I fell in love with him. I'm like,
and then I was like I started think about him, like, yeah,
maybe it is a recall. Maybe my cynical mind doesn't
believe in miracles, and maybe every little thing is a miracle.
I think two people will come together and in that
way that you you really think you can spend your
life with this person. You're gonna wake up to this
person every day and not get tired of each other.

(43:16):
That's a miracle. Yeah, but you don't know that you're
not gonna get tired. You you might, yeah, you might,
but you're going into it thinking I think we could
do this. These two things had to line up for
us to get to this point, and they're Gwen and
Blaker seemingly very different on the outside. So in a way,
that is kind of like who would have ever thought
her grown up in Anaheim him in Oklahoma that they're

(43:40):
passed with somehow cross like that. That's probably what she means. Yeah, yeah,
I don't know. It's a miracle. It's miraculous. Just enjoy it, right,
I guess right that email, I think that's what we
landed on. Yeah, and you can title the email every
day a miracle. Yeah, love is a miracle. Uh well.

(44:06):
Our next question comes from Jazz. She's in her late twenties.
She says, Dear Chelsea, my parents have always pulled my
sister and I into their toxic, manipulative relationship. When we
were younger, they'd scream at each other, give each other
the silent treatment, tell one another they were going to
move out, all right in front of us. My dad
made us unknowing accomplices in his affair. My mom would

(44:29):
use us as ponds during their fights. I'm now in
my late twenties, living independently for my parents, and I've
been working with an amazing therapist for the last two
years on reparenting myself because of that. The most recent
time my parents tried to pull me into their bullshit.
Yes they're still doing this, I said enough is enough.
I had a really uncomfortable conversation with my mom where
I shared that I needed lots of space and that

(44:50):
moving forward, I'll be making choices to protect myself from
being pulled into their relationship troubles. They've been going to therapy,
but I haven't seen much improvement on this specific topic.
During our infrequent phone calls, they'll slip in that they're
mad at each other for some reason, blah blah blah.
I've been very open each time it happens that I
don't want to hear it. Here are the reasons why, etcetera.

(45:11):
Here's the issue. My sister, who I rarely get to see,
invited my parents and I to Thanksgiving at her house
this year. I'd love to see my sister and her fiance,
but I just don't think my parents will be able
to keep it together. The house will be in doesn't
allow for a ton of privacy, and they live out
in the middle of nowhere, so I can't stay somewhere else.
I know that if I go, I'll somehow get entangled

(45:31):
in their bullshit, if only from a spectator standpoint. They
don't really scream and fight in front of us anymore,
though I'm sure they still do this in private. Now
it's mostly underlying manipulation, giving each other the cold shoulder,
openly sending each other text like maybe I'll just move
out when I get home, which are easily seen on
my mom's phone from a distance because she has her
font up to a thousand. So what should I do?

(45:53):
I don't want to be around my parents together for
that long, since I know the boundaries still aren't there.
Is it shitty to just skip holidays and family gatherings
until this is resolved, knowing it might never be resolved.
I don't want to look back and think I missed
out on valuable time with my family. But I've also
been around enough fighting for an entire lifetime. Jess Hi,
jess Hi, Hi, that's so fucked up. Thank you? Oh

(46:19):
my god. I can't believe your parents are like act
like that. I know, yeah, I think they're doing their best,
but their best they're not talking about. I'm so sick
of everybody saying that everybody is doing their best. Some
people are just coasting and like just getting by. Not
everybody's doing their best. I mean, obviously they don't have
the tools to be doing better, because otherwise hopefully they would.

(46:42):
But yeah, you don't have to give them that much credit.
How long have they been married? I think like twenty
five years, so yeah, and they've never separated or anything
like that. They separated there is like an affair in there.
So they separated during that time. It was obviously handled poorly.
We've never spoken about it really as a family. So

(47:03):
and then they got back together just out of habit.
They're like, I guess you'll do exactly. And when you
started like setting the boundaries for them, how did they
respond to that? It was really bad. There's actually been
an update since then. So they have been going to
counseling and they went like three times and they're like,
we're good. And they asked if I would come to

(47:26):
the counseling with them. Wants to have me share the
boundaries in a facilitated way, because it was just hard
to share. And even in that facilitated way, they didn't
get it. They just kept saying like this is just
how we grew up and this is just how it is,
and like it's so small, like this doesn't matter, but
it's pretty intense. So I don't know. They just can't understand.

(47:46):
It's just how they grew up. It does feel like
that older generation is less into therapy and more of
like you just gotta stick it out, and the rest
of us are like cup bait, jump ship. Yeah. It's like,
you know when people think that it's like a fixed
state of being, It's like, no, you're in a state
of mind that you've decided is a fixed state of being.

(48:07):
It's a state. Everything is a state of mind. That
attitude and that disposition is like, that's not how you
have to be. You have other options, but they're like, no,
this is me. Yeah. And what I've been struggling with
is like I don't think that's my job to help
them through it, but do I just like not see
them until then, knowing that it could never get any better.
And all of my friends have awful relationships with their parents,

(48:29):
so nobody else, nobody else in my life knows how
to handles either. So I don't know, Well, what about
your sister? Is she so she's okay with having Thanksgiving
with them? Because I don't want you to miss out
on Thanksgiving because your parents I just feel like you
kind of have to flip your narrative. They are going
to be the way they are, and I think you
have to try and have less of an impact on you,

(48:50):
especially around important holiday family times. This is an important
holiday that I don't want you to miss because of that.
I understand setting boundaries. I think that's totally health for
the rest of the year when it's not Christmas or whatever, Hanukah,
whatever you celebrate, if there's a way that you can
go and and and just disengage when that happens and
not take it on so much yourself kind of I

(49:13):
don't want to say disassociate because that can be a
dangerous word, but just kind of take a step back
and not let it affect you so much, knowing that
they're limited and that they're going to remain that way,
and that you've said what you're going to say, and
just leaving the room when things are going for a
walk outside when things get heated, and just being like
I told you, guys, I don't want to be a
part of this, and making sure that every time you

(49:35):
remove yourself from the situation when you feel like you're
getting to a place where it becomes untenable for yourself.
M yeah, yeah, you don't want to miss a good
family drama Thanksgiving. I mean sometimes that is fun. Well,
it's that it's fun if you don't come from a
family like that, like you had an affair I And

(50:00):
it's sympathetic that their children have to set boundaries for them,
you know, like way to parent your parents. You do
you think that happens a lot? Yes, I feel. I
mean it sucks. It sucks. It's like you can't change them,
and you can't make them have a happy, healthy relationship.
And if they're not gonna divorce, you also can't change that.

(50:20):
So I mean it is up to you to have
to either you don't go but again, like Chelsea said,
you're missing out on these big family holidays, or you
go with again, like tapering your expectations of what's going
to happen and trying not to let yourself get affected

(50:40):
so heavily by their energy and their actions towards each other.
Fin any way, it's like be with your sister when
you're they're focusing on that, you know, catching up there
and just letting mom and dad sort of hash it
out in the kitchen, you know, instead of like getting
in the middle, you can just be like I'm out,

(51:01):
I'm just here for sweet potatoes. Yeah, or even any
time it comes up, or if there is a fight,
you put on a podcast and fucking listen to it,
or put on an album and listen to it. Sorry,
I'm not doing this. You don't have to let it
run you for during that time. It's it's actually a
pretty good mental Jim exercise for you to be able
to go to an event and let them kind of
do their thing. I mean, they've gotten the warning, so

(51:22):
they're probably gonna be on better behavior than they have been,
even though their best behavior is still probably not going
to be good enough. I think it's a good exercise
for you to be a little bit more tolerant, knowing
that you've kind of drawn the lines, and then just
removing yourself when it becomes annoying or too much, just
walking outside and going for a walk and coming back.
That sends the message also like cool it or I'm

(51:44):
going to leave. What Fortune and Chelsea are saying echoes
something I talked about with my therapist recently, where we
were going home for a family thing, and I was
crying about like, well, what if I have to talk
about this stuff with my family and they're gonna be
shitty about it, or if I don't, then they're going
to talk behind my back. Blah blah blah, just you know,
kind of be an emotional about family stuff. And my

(52:05):
therapist said something that was so freeing, which was, yeah,
families talk shit, They're gonna do what they're gonna do,
regardless of what you have going on. Regardless sometimes of
the boundaries that you've set, the only one we can
control is ourselves. And so for me, it was such
a light to just be like, oh, that's just a thing.
I don't have to let it activate my stuff. It

(52:28):
doesn't have to get through Timmy. And I love the
idea of just like sitting there with a little podcast
and like taking a mental break, do a you know,
a headspace meditation, chill out for a little bit. Yeah,
just tell your parents you'd rather listen to Russian state
propaganda and then turn on Russian state news and then
listen to them fucking bicker at the table, you know,

(52:50):
or put on my Netflix special good Fortune. But yeah,
I think I just need to get comfortable like they
get mad when we don't get pulled in, and I
think I just need to be that's your thing. I'm
going to sit here and well people like that. I
want a reaction, and if you stop giving them that reaction,
eventually they will stop. They want it first, but you

(53:11):
got to kind of retrain them. But if you are
reactive to what they're doing, they're doing it because they
know they're going to get a response from you, and
that's what they want. They because they're not getting stuff
from each other, so now they're putting the tentacles out elsewhere.
And you just have to not I know it's hard,
it requires self control on your part, but yeah, you

(53:32):
just can't give the reaction they want, or any reaction.
I mean, sweep Jata your mom and say beach Okay,
maybe don't say that far, yeah, or saying I say
takes a mushrooms. It takes a mushrooms. Said, just sit

(53:55):
there and you'll have a great time no matter what.
Then to slip your parents some mushrooms. That's a good
idea too. I love this. I'm feeling much better about this. Yeah,
go with a good sense of humor. Yeah, treat it all.
Be lighter yourself going to it. Don't go like dreading
it just hung in mushrooms, air pods. Yeah, good fortunee

(54:20):
exactly for yourself. And then read it to them and
say it says you guys are getting to force fucking
fast track that ship. Play two truth and a lie, oh,
or your sister, and you can make a game out
of it. You know, you guys can have a nice
hidden game about how many times they get, you know,
say something or light each other you every time your

(54:44):
mom brings up your dad cheating, you drink it will
be wasted. But yeah, I think I think you going
lighter to it might help your anxiety as well. Yeah,
I already feel better. I was not taking the light
approach at all. It was just like I'm gonna or
I'm not going to go. But yeah, because here's the

(55:04):
best part. You don't live with them, and you don't
have to deal with that all the time. You get
to leave. Yeah, that should make you happy. You don't,
you're not the person in that. I was just like,
I wonder if I want to I could pay eight
hundred dollars to watch people fight, or I could go
on a trip without these people and have a good time. Right, Well,
you don't have to spend every holiday with them, Just

(55:25):
so you know, I don't spend every holiday with my family.
That doesn't make you a bad daughter, right. It might
trigger somebody telling me I'm a bad daughter, but no,
that we already decided you. You're also entering your adult phase.
I used to spend on every holiday when I was
in my twenties, but once I hit my thirties, you're

(55:45):
because I felt guilt. You don't have to spend a
real holiday with them. Yeah, and this is the first year.
I think it's that like weird in between, like it's
just expected. But choose one. I would go. I would
do like every other one every year. Thanks, even when
you're Christmas the next sure, but that's up to you.
That's up to you. Totally off the next year. Yeah, yeah,
and then you and your sister can like go to

(56:06):
Mexico with her fiancee next year. My sister is much
better about all of this. She just has no emotions. Yeah, amazing. Well,
thank you, Jas. I appreciate you calling in and sharing
this with us because I think it's going to help
a lot of people. A lot of people have questions.
Maybe not as bad behavior as your parents, but similar questions. Well,

(56:30):
thank you so much for the advice. I really appreciate it.
You're welcome to Happy Thanks, thank you, bye bye. Oh
she's so sweet. Yeah yeah, couples like that need to
do m d M, a therapy where they're both on
Molly and then all of a sudden create some new
neural pathways. Yeah. Yeah. Also there walking around naked. That's

(56:53):
a thanksgiving. That sounds great. Well, we'll take a quick
break and we'll be right back to app up with
Fortune and Chelsea. And we're back Fortune. We're back with Fort.
Welcome back, ladies. Fortune. Do you have any advice you'd

(57:14):
like to get from Chelsea? Well, it kind of stemming
off of what we were talking about earlier before we
took the calls, I was gonna ask you if you
did recommend a couples therapy because I feel like it
has that like negative connotation of like you only go
if there are problems. But I've been hearing more and
more people lately talk about that it that it's shouldn't

(57:35):
be like treated like that, that you should go even
if your relationship is good and healthy, that it can
help you in ways you never thought, And I had
never thought about it like that until I recently heard that,
and so I was just curious. Yeah, I think so.
I think it's very proactive because it's helps with communication, because,
like you have to understand, as healthy as your relationship,
maybe two different people come from two different backgrounds and

(57:57):
have two completely separate histories and two different ways of
viewing things, and it's only advantageous to learn about how
somebody else sees things. You can only learn from that.
And the strongest connection with people is communication like that
is the number one ingredient to be able to communicate
in a loving, calm way even when conflict arises, because

(58:17):
it's gonna arise. Something will happen where there's conflict at
some point, and when you have the tools to deal
with that, it doesn't become a hurdle. It just becomes
like almost an opportunity to grow closer, you know. And
I feel like that kind of connection, especially with a
third party, really can bring people together when both people
are very open to hearing about the other person's perceptions

(58:39):
and experiences. So I am a total you know, I
don't think I'll date anyone who hasn't been to therapy
or who isn't open to go into therapy. I think
both of us would be open to it, but neither
of us have really taken that seriously or or approached
each other about it because we didn't want the other
person to assume there was an issue. Yeah, you know,

(59:00):
so there. I feel like sometimes we just don't say
it because I'm like, I don't have an issue, and
you don't, I think have an issue. So by us
bringing this up, are they going to think that we
have a problem in the relationship that we don't, you
know what I mean? So that's okay, I'll bring it up.
We're going a happy hour later, so I'll just bring
it up naturally and just suggest what she said. She
said it to me before, and I've been like, you know,

(59:22):
so it's not like something she's against. I just feel
like it does have that negative thing around it. When
you say couples therapy, people automatically go, well, what's wrong? Yeah,
And that's not the king, you know, I don't think
so at all. I think really smart people go and
like proactively go to get you know, so that you
have somebody and then it doesn't have to be like

(59:43):
a regular thing like you don't have to go every week.
You could go once a month. But when there is
a conflict or a crisis or something comes up, and
that's when you can lean on someone and you know
you have that at your disposal, which is always just
I think, such a huge advantage, you know, to know
some you have somebody you can lean on for those
kinds of things. Yeah, right, well, there you go, and
that wraps up this episode of Dear Fortune Cookie. Fortune Cookie,

(01:00:08):
don't forget to watch Fortune Special, her latest special on Netflix.
Good Fortune. There's snuggling happening. I can't wait for you
to be part of our thriple. We are to talk
to our therapist about it, about inviting somebody. And thank you, Fortune,
We love you, thanks for having me love you. Thank

(01:00:31):
you so much. So if you'd like advice from Chelsea,
just send us an email at Dear Chelsea podcast at
gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea is a production of I
Heart Radio. Executive produced by Nick Stump, produced by Catherine Law,
and edited and engineered by Brad Dickert.