Crackers with Yamaneika Saunders

Yamaneika Saunders is back for a full episode, this time to talk about perimenopause, why Chelsea sent her a box of vibrators, and bringing a buddy to a mammogram.  Then: A mom is concerned she’s smoking too much weed while caring for her toddler.  A youngest sister finds herself cleaning up the messes of her older sister’s bitcoin scams.  

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Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail]

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Executive Producer Catherine Law

Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert

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The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey there, it's Catherine. Just a little note about the
audio quality and the intro. We had Chelsea calling in
from our remote location, so you may notice a little
bit of a difference in the audio quality just for
the intro. We were back in studio for the recording
of this episode. Just wanted to let you know, enjoy
the episode.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
Hi?

Speaker 4 (00:19):
Has it going?

Speaker 2 (00:20):
He's it going? Girl?

Speaker 1 (00:22):
You know what, it's going great. I'm having an easy summer,
so that's pretty good.

Speaker 5 (00:26):
How about you.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
What are you up to? Well, I'm dealing.

Speaker 6 (00:28):
My foot is getting bettery damn.

Speaker 4 (00:30):
Now I'm now back in a sneaker and on Monday
they X ray and may foot to make sure it's
all healed.

Speaker 6 (00:35):
And then I can start working out again. Yeah, how
I love that.

Speaker 7 (00:42):
Back to Ben Bruno.

Speaker 6 (00:43):
Yeah, back to Ben Bruno. He calls it. He texts
me every day going how are you?

Speaker 2 (00:46):
How are you?

Speaker 6 (00:47):
And I'm like, just fucking shut up. I'll see you
when I see you.

Speaker 4 (00:51):
But I got a massive CO two laser on my
face also, which my face feels like somebody took sandpaper
to it, Like it still feels that way, and it's
been like a week and a half.

Speaker 6 (01:03):
So I'm hoping that starts to calm down and my.

Speaker 4 (01:05):
Son's almost all gone, but I still am swollen from that.
You should have seen the day that I took pictures
and then I deleted them all from my phone because
I'm like, oh god, this is gonna end up with
in some sort of Jeffrey Epstein's story.

Speaker 7 (01:17):
Yeah, you don't need that going wide.

Speaker 6 (01:19):
Exactly.

Speaker 7 (01:20):
Have you been in your h what's the chamber called?

Speaker 3 (01:23):
Have you been? Oh?

Speaker 6 (01:23):
Yeah, hyperbaric? Every day I'm in my hyperbaric.

Speaker 4 (01:26):
I'm staying at my friend Kat's house until my house
new finished date is August twenty second, which I won't
even be here for, so that works out perfectly great.
As usual, I'm taking my span, I'm taking advantage of
all this time. Yesterday I finished a fucking puzzle. I
did an actual puzzle. I posted it on Instagram because
I don't think I've ever done a puzzle in my

(01:47):
life and completed it.

Speaker 7 (01:48):
It's kind of nice, is it?

Speaker 6 (01:50):
I know it's not it, I guess it is.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
I mean it wasn't.

Speaker 4 (01:53):
It's not fun. I like activities that are fun, and
that wasn't fun. That was just like, oh, my god,
I'm so bored. I've read three books. Oh you know
what I wanted to mention when we were doing our
book round up, I totally forgot right exactly.

Speaker 1 (02:05):
We did a book round up episode for everybody. It's
a minisode and so that'll come out next Friday, August.

Speaker 8 (02:11):
Dave.

Speaker 4 (02:11):
I read a fucking awesome book and it's it's called
Red Notice by Bill Browder, who's like financial guy that
invested in Russia after they got rid of communism so
to speak, and then the public everything went public, like
all their government agencies went public, and so he went
in and saw a huge opportunity for investment. And it's

(02:32):
all about how corrupt and crazy Russia is. People die,
and this is like a venture capitalist kind of investment
banker guy, not a VC and more of a banker
like investment guy, but nay, billions of dollars in Russia.
And then they wanted him out and then they realized
that he was kind of like working the system but legally,
and it's all about.

Speaker 6 (02:52):
It's a fascinating read.

Speaker 4 (02:54):
And I forgot to mention that I was thinking of
that book that if you're like into that kind of thing,
WI I'm into I send it to my Russian nephew
so he can step defending Russian.

Speaker 7 (03:05):
Perfect perfect, So it works in the family too. Yeah, excellent.

Speaker 1 (03:09):
I mean, obviously I've sent you like twenty five books
to read for the podcast, so.

Speaker 6 (03:13):
I know so many. But our guest is one of
my favorite people. You guys.

Speaker 4 (03:17):
She opens for me in Vegas. She's opening for me
again this August thirtieth. My next gig in Vegas. My
next night at the Cosmo was August thirtieth, so she'll
be my opener. If you haven't seen her perform, you
need to. She's hilarious. Also, I added a second show
in West Hampton, so I'm doing two nights in West Hampton,
Hampton in August August twenty first, which is sold out,

(03:37):
and then August twenty second. Yeah, so please welcome a.

Speaker 6 (03:41):
Comedian, hopefully a new podcaster. She's had her own radio show.
She is won a hot fucking mess Y'aminika Saunders.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
You're still sweating from last night. You were sweating last
night too. Are you going through Perry menopause?

Speaker 5 (03:58):
Listen, bitch, I want the away on a train.

Speaker 2 (04:01):
Well, whose fucking fault is that?

Speaker 5 (04:02):
Don't you live here?

Speaker 2 (04:04):
You don't know how to get on a train. No,
you are, okay. Yaminika just walked in. She smells like
marijuana as usual.

Speaker 5 (04:12):
I have a video. Yeah, I could just put on
on the ground. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (04:19):
Just throw all her stuff on the floor.

Speaker 5 (04:20):
Please. Right here is perfect. I just hit a little
bit of something before I came up here. Don't do this? Yeah,
thank you?

Speaker 2 (04:29):
There here she comes. One of your boobs is on
the other side. What's going on? What happened after I
left last night? Okay? First of all, Yaminica Saunders is
on the podcast today. She's a very very special guest.

Speaker 5 (04:41):
I'm to take this off.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
Oh god, Catherine, have you met Yama yet? I have?

Speaker 7 (04:47):
Not only through her instagram?

Speaker 2 (04:51):
Live Hold on a second, one second?

Speaker 7 (04:53):
Getting under yes this outfit?

Speaker 2 (04:57):
Yes please okay, Hi, Yaminica, sit down, please, let's go.
Let's go. You have lipstick on your teeth? Do you
want to I don't care.

Speaker 5 (05:04):
I don't give a fuck anymore.

Speaker 2 (05:06):
Okay, I'm trying to help you. Yeah you can curse.

Speaker 5 (05:08):
Okay, Hello, everybody, welcome to my show.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
I am Anina.

Speaker 5 (05:13):
Hi, my love. You're so cute.

Speaker 7 (05:16):
Oh, thank you?

Speaker 5 (05:17):
And skin this.

Speaker 3 (05:19):
Is the type of white I like, why can't you
get to that type of porcelain.

Speaker 2 (05:22):
You don't like my First of all, you have fucking
lipstick all over your face and your teeth. Yeah, look
at yourself.

Speaker 5 (05:28):
Let me see, I see you mile, This is you
self centered bitch.

Speaker 2 (05:33):
Yeah, okay, let me recap what happened last night. We
went to dinner. It was supposed to be an innocent
in her.

Speaker 3 (05:40):
It wasn't innocent in to UK, and you messed everything up.
I was completely sane and sober before you showed up,
and then two minutes after you arrived, I was like,
oh wait, did this bitch put some acid in my bag? No?

Speaker 2 (05:55):
I didn't bring any drugs. I didn't have any drugs.

Speaker 5 (05:58):
She brought to Australia. Your lesbians, and.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
One is a lesbian? I think I don't know the
other one is a lesbian?

Speaker 3 (06:06):
Baba, No no, no, no, no, definitely if she ain't a lesbian,
she need to talk to somebody, right, okayed the stylist immediately,
and no dist because I don't want to hear the lesbians.
What you mean?

Speaker 2 (06:15):
We be talking about the stilence when you're in a tank.

Speaker 3 (06:19):
Because I'm forty, you know, and a grown wiry men
A pause. I'm hot and I'm cold, so the part
of me that's cold got tights on.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
Sorry that her voice is going out. She's standing up
and demonstrating sound like no, no, no, I have to
explain listeners, this is at iHeart.

Speaker 3 (06:37):
You ain't got the microphones to pick up motherfuckers when
they go all over the place.

Speaker 5 (06:41):
You need to talk to the budgeting people. Did you
tell them you white? Or was that currency up?

Speaker 2 (06:46):
Now they now.

Speaker 5 (06:47):
What is everybody black? Welcome to the club? Whitey.

Speaker 2 (06:53):
Yeah. Whenever I complained about anything political, she's like, bitches,
this is on fucking you and you are you and
you're a fucking white bitch. Friends who I mean? I
didn't vote for Donald Trump, obviously, but.

Speaker 3 (07:05):
You know the thing about it, No, no, no, yes you
are because no, no, no, not you not, but you are.
Let me tell you why, Chelsea. For some reason, Chelsea
definitely the white woman to get it. But then she
hang around a flock of white bitches that don't. So
if I tell her she ain't shit, I want her
to tell it to the other white bitches that's around
her to day. Ain't ship because she ain't ship, so
that they become ship because now I keep telling her

(07:27):
to day, ain't ship through her.

Speaker 2 (07:28):
The first of all, the white bitches I hang out
with are all on the same team as I am.
So what team is that team? And fuck it, what
do you mean we're on the same team. We're not
on fucking Donald Trump's team. We're on the No no, no, no, no, no, no,
no no.

Speaker 3 (07:42):
I don't think they're with Donald Trump team. I do
think that they're white as hell. Yeah team all of that.

Speaker 2 (07:47):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, But a lot of white people can't
helping white I mean most of it.

Speaker 5 (07:52):
Have you tried?

Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yah ya?

Speaker 3 (07:54):
Men are trying to help white women every day. Bring
on more mocha latto children. So go talk to a
black man. Have you talked you a black senator lately
and asked him?

Speaker 2 (08:02):
We have a black senator? Do you? I don't, do
you show? Are you sure? I know I don't have
a black seven?

Speaker 3 (08:07):
Can somebody? I hope it's I hope the senator is
black and that you don't.

Speaker 2 (08:10):
Know California, I do not have a black senator in Maryland?
Are in Maryland? The governor?

Speaker 5 (08:16):
What are you?

Speaker 2 (08:17):
What are you talking about? She's from Maryland? Actually, I just.

Speaker 3 (08:22):
Maryland where they sent that motherfucker back to El Salad.
I tell you, white men doing whatever, How the fuck
do you send a motherfucker who's not even ol Salvadorian
to Al Salvador and then motherfucker's from Maryland?

Speaker 5 (08:40):
How are we doing this? Hello? White people? Is this
thing on? Is this what you voted.

Speaker 3 (08:45):
For when y'all thought niggas was gonna be the one
down there suffering the most? And look at you, huh,
look at you? Now use a nigga too. That's my
new my current specialist called White Nigga. You can get
it on YouTube. It is perfect for this because everything
that I talk about in my special White Nigga is
happening right now. And if you are a white nigga,

(09:05):
go listen to it. And I'm telling you right now,
the second part is about white bitches. White women take
responsibility for the shit that you did. Shut the fuck
up and bend over now, bitch, because it's Handsmaid's tail, right,
it's a Handsmaids saal. I never watched one fucking episode
of that thing, but by the cover, I can tell
you that white women gonna look like that shit by

(09:25):
next Tuesday at five thirty.

Speaker 5 (09:27):
Okay, bitch, welcome to the club.

Speaker 3 (09:29):
And I'm a big black bitch with big greasy titties
and I'm gonna go straight in that kitchen, honey, and
I'm gonna make some flapjacks and I'm telling and I'm
gonna get it. Listen me right, I'm going in there.
Chelsea going in there too. You know, if I gotta
work underneath the white woman, I need Chelsea. Were gonna
have some fun, you know what I'm saying. At night
when they tell all the slaves to go to sleep,

(09:50):
and then Chelsea say, get undereath my bed, I'm gonna
put you in a little drawer here and then I'm
gonna go in there. Hopefully I can fit. You know,
I'm heavy set. And then when Massa go to sleep,
she's gonna open the drawer and then we're gonna have
like a little American girl.

Speaker 2 (10:01):
No, okay, I appreciate it. Okay, I understand, do you?

Speaker 3 (10:10):
No? I want people to slow sweet chair, you can
be on to pick that cuton anyway.

Speaker 2 (10:15):
This is Yaminika. She has a special out on YouTube
that I would encourage every single person to watch because
it's very women. I know you like a lot of
us are Democrats, and we vote for the right right things.
But I think what I've learned from all of my
black sisters is how disappointed they are in constantly showing

(10:39):
up and showing up for election after election, fighting the
good fight, fighting the good fight, and yet half of
the white women in this country don't seem to show up.
They don't seem to and then they vote for somebody
like this fucking asshole. And now we're living in this
hell which unveils a new hell every single day. So
it's a great learning and teaching special for all of
us who are are not as enlightened as we want

(11:01):
to be about actually the dynamic between people of color
and women of color and what they have done for
this country versus what white women have done for this country.

Speaker 5 (11:10):
Wow, isn't that beautiful? Is every now and then you
really get it.

Speaker 2 (11:14):
Let's talk about what happened last night?

Speaker 5 (11:16):
And I like her.

Speaker 2 (11:17):
I know you love me, and you can't help. There's
nothing you can do about it, there's nothing. You're in
love with me. Actually, you get googly out of you
see me, and you're.

Speaker 3 (11:27):
Just yesterday, I don't remember it was warm right now,
I was wrong about that.

Speaker 2 (11:31):
You loved it, loved.

Speaker 5 (11:34):
That your hands will on my warm vagina.

Speaker 2 (11:36):
No, they weren't on your vagina.

Speaker 5 (11:38):
And you're a white women's vagina's warm.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
No, I mean yeah, usually they're not cold. They're not cold.
I mean vagina's are typically hot. Yeah, you're horny, your horny,
And she still thinks she's having a baby. I'm trying
to convince her that that's not the right move you
want to bring. But think about it, bringing a baby
into this world. Think about it. Is that a nice
thing to do to a baby?

Speaker 3 (11:59):
You know what, I'm gonna say this. You know what,
here's another teaching moment through babies. When you were talking
about how black women feel right about how white women
continuously don't show up the way they ask us to
show up for them. Right, Yes, here's the real reality.
Nobody because people are like, well, it's my you know,
I'm thinking about myself. I feel nobody has a problem

(12:21):
right with white women going, hey, I like to have
a great life. Yeah, I'd like to vote for things
that are in my interest That's totally fine. The problem
is when the things that are in your interests and
that are gonna help you are gonna disenfranchise and disadvantage somebody.

Speaker 5 (12:35):
Else, and you still vote for it.

Speaker 3 (12:38):
That's what makes you catch you next Tuesday, right on
Wednesday because to day Wednesday right or is it Thursday?

Speaker 5 (12:44):
Still current?

Speaker 3 (12:46):
So the reality is do what you want, be who
you want, but think about the repercussions of what your
space and taking up space in the world looks like
for everybody else. So in terms of wanting a child, yeah,
I do think that it is very selfish of me. Right,
I'm forty six necessarily, Well, I just want to say,
just to be aware, I am forty six by the

(13:07):
time I'm ready. I told you say maybe forty eight.
Now I'm moved at to fifty. You know, I never
know when we're ready. I've come from a family.

Speaker 2 (13:12):
That definitely not ready. Now, I just want to put
that out there. I've traveled with you, I've been on there.
You are not ready to have a baby. So, okay,
you're excellent, You're a giant baby. Okay. You you can't
show up anywhere on time without fucking things hanging out
of your bags, without fucking wigs and hair. I mean,
you don't even know what the fuck is going to happen.

(13:34):
Sometimes we have to drop her off on the we
pick her up and she's on the side of the
road like a street walker.

Speaker 5 (13:39):
She that's true. Listen.

Speaker 3 (13:43):
I in terms of the baby, oh god, I want
the baby, but I do I am thinking realistically, like
also with as old as I am, you know, no
disrespect that women can have babies, you know, but you know,
my life expectancy right for the child, right is like
my kids, I'm going to see them to the twenty
five maybe twenty six, you know, so I don't know.

Speaker 5 (14:07):
I it is scary.

Speaker 2 (14:08):
And also your schedule, your stand up. You're out every night,
you're doing stand up all the time.

Speaker 5 (14:12):
I could see my kid until thirty at this point.

Speaker 2 (14:14):
Right, it depends how long?

Speaker 5 (14:16):
Yeah, thirty yeah, thirty five maybe, you know.

Speaker 2 (14:19):
Okay, anyway, we'll put a pin in the baby thing, okay,
because I don't think I'm gonna work hard to prevent
it from happening. I'm going to try to work hard
to convince you not to have it. I think I
will well, I will end up come mothering the baby.
And that's also why I want you to have one,
because I don't have the fucking bandwidth Okay, last night
I went to dinner. Where were we went to Harlem.

Speaker 3 (14:42):
We went to the We were in the Apollo, inside
the Apollo. The Apollo, Yeah it was, but they've it's
kind of gutted out now so but it's also a hotel.
It's like a whole bunch of stuff going on there.
I thought they still have the theater at the Apollo.
They do, yeah, but then there's like another But where
we went was the Victoria Oside Restaurant.

Speaker 2 (14:59):
That was nice. That was yeah, I would like that
chef he was.

Speaker 5 (15:01):
He was amazing.

Speaker 2 (15:03):
And I had grilled oysters, my favorite. I had two
orders of grilled oysters. That's how fucking good.

Speaker 3 (15:07):
They He was trying to have sex with me, and
I said, take it easy on those oysters.

Speaker 5 (15:12):
I know how you get. Yeah, anyway, I came.

Speaker 2 (15:15):
I showed up with some friends to lesbians and then
another friend of mine, another homosexual friend of mine.

Speaker 3 (15:21):
No dick for me, you always come with no nothing
for me. She well, listen, I want a few pieces
of dick my driver.

Speaker 2 (15:27):
I have a driver.

Speaker 5 (15:28):
No, don't do that.

Speaker 2 (15:29):
Well, no, I'm gonna. I'm gonna. Because he was sexually asserted,
it's not Okay, my driver rock I love him. Okay, yes,
he don't do that. Last night last night, Rafa said, hey,
can someone bring me a coffee outside? Because he was outside.
Guess what? And yeah, Yah came over and said, don't
let Yama bring him the coffee because she'll sexually, she'll
she'll hit on him. I said, I know, we've already been.

Speaker 5 (15:51):
The man is married.

Speaker 2 (15:52):
Rafa is scared of Yama. Yes he is married. No,
he loves you, but I love him. I would never
do this, but no, no, no, no, you see the thing
is way wait, this is the story.

Speaker 5 (16:02):
I'm not sure Haras is being nice.

Speaker 2 (16:04):
Now. Remember who's talking Kelsey everywhere we go?

Speaker 5 (16:06):
Oh she's being nice. He must want to fuck him.

Speaker 2 (16:09):
Everywhere we go, wherever we go, and she's we've been
on the road together many times. She hits on either
the security guard, he's the driver, the guy, remember from Houston.

Speaker 5 (16:20):
I got the picture.

Speaker 2 (16:20):
I got the picture with her, I know, but he
wanted the picture with you.

Speaker 5 (16:23):
I know he took a picture.

Speaker 3 (16:24):
No, you sent me the picture of you and him
together like a bitch, But I still use it.

Speaker 5 (16:27):
The Master debate.

Speaker 2 (16:30):
She was hitting so so Rafa.

Speaker 3 (16:32):
One night I Rob just cropped Chelsea out of his
Sometimes I don't have time to crop her out.

Speaker 5 (16:36):
Ready to go.

Speaker 2 (16:38):
Who is a married man and has a family. She
she he drove. He drove Yama home one night when
we were out up to shenan Against in New York City.
He dropped me off at my hotel and then he
dropped Yama off and I said, Rafa, if she makes
you uncomfortable, it's okay to be firm with her. You know,
you're a married man. And the next morning when I

(16:59):
saw him, he was trying to be a gentleman about it,
but he said, she's very aggressive. He said, she's very aggressive.
So he she was pressuring my driver to fornicate with her.
But I've seen you do it to almost anything. But
in New Orleans. Remember at the at the at the
restaurant with Amy we went to New Orleans. Yeah, and

(17:20):
the waiter, oh, you guys gave him my phone, Amy,
Amy Schumer gave him your phone number. She did that
was nice of her. And did you hear from him?

Speaker 5 (17:32):
Wait?

Speaker 2 (17:34):
Track, you'll stay on track, because okay. So then we
go to dinner last night and then she has like
three friends there. Two guys there right, three. How many
people were we? It just kept getting bigger and bigger
and bigger.

Speaker 5 (17:46):
And then I turned somebody was there?

Speaker 2 (17:50):
Yes, And then I thought these two people were with
you guys, and they weren't, so I just added them
to our group. I was random. One was a French
woman and this other woman who was she was funny,
so I mean she no, no, no, I know her? Oh
you did, because yeah, yeah, I was like, who the
fuck are these two?

Speaker 5 (18:07):
They were at the house.

Speaker 2 (18:08):
Yeah, they came to the house.

Speaker 5 (18:09):
No, no, no, no, that's what my friend's wife.

Speaker 2 (18:12):
Okay, yeah, yea, yeah.

Speaker 5 (18:13):
Yeah, yea, yeah, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 3 (18:15):
I knew the French woman, we didn't know. No, she's Argentinian, okay, yeah,
and we didn't know her.

Speaker 5 (18:19):
But she wanted.

Speaker 2 (18:20):
Smoking, so I thought she was French.

Speaker 5 (18:21):
Yea, yeah, yeah yeah. She had to get the cigarettes
from France though, because of the tarifs.

Speaker 2 (18:25):
But so we go back to uh, we go back
to U Yama's house and we're smoking weed and whatever else.
But Yama decides to disrobe. There's about us over there, shirt.

Speaker 5 (18:34):
Off, I'm in perimenopause. It's hot.

Speaker 2 (18:37):
Okay, well, we have to get you estrogen and progesterone.

Speaker 5 (18:39):
Please.

Speaker 2 (18:40):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (18:41):
Nobody in my apartment wanted my vagina, not even the lesbians,
So that's why it was okay for me to take
my shirt off.

Speaker 5 (18:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:47):
But yeah, yeah, I have a video that I'm probably
gonna post post it.

Speaker 3 (18:51):
No no, no, no, make sure AI my stomach now because
I didn't.

Speaker 5 (18:54):
I thought I was a lot fitit than that. Do
me a favor.

Speaker 3 (18:56):
You want to go with me to talk to my
drug guy after this about what gover his house?

Speaker 5 (19:00):
Only smoke out and have some drugs.

Speaker 2 (19:02):
I can't. I have to get a mammogram. You let
me go, but you get a mamogram to get You
want to get a mamogram with me?

Speaker 5 (19:08):
Can you add me?

Speaker 2 (19:09):
I don't think that's how it works, but I would
love to try your name. I mean I could, but
this isn't my regular hospital.

Speaker 5 (19:17):
Were you just going around putting your titties in other hospital? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (19:19):
Because because I just found something in my shoulder and
I just want to make sure I get an ultrasound.
Not a lot, bitch.

Speaker 3 (19:25):
You ain't got time to be having nothing, bitch, I
got to ride your coat tail. I want I want
you better get your name on the Prayer List, bitch,
you better ask the Lord removie.

Speaker 2 (19:35):
It's not anything serious. I'm sure it's actually gone now.

Speaker 5 (19:37):
I just want to Yeah, I'll yell it out.

Speaker 3 (19:40):
Yeah yeah, anyway, you know, mammogran with me, bitch, I'll
cut it off, but yeah.

Speaker 2 (19:43):
I mean you could probably come with me and squeeze
your way in. I mean, do you have a Yeah,
have you ever? Have you had a mano Graham recently?
You have to have one every year, you know that, right?

Speaker 5 (19:52):
Yeah, No, I've had.

Speaker 2 (19:53):
I'm with those titties. I can't even imagine what you must.

Speaker 3 (19:56):
Go gotten the same lady three times and she remembers my.

Speaker 2 (20:00):
Yeah, well they're hard to forget. I mean they're massive.

Speaker 3 (20:03):
But I didn't know, but I was like, I didn't
I don't want to ask. The one was like, you know,
is it appropriate right to be like are you gay? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (20:09):
It is inappropriate to.

Speaker 3 (20:10):
Say, I mean, but I'm like, I wanted to know
because like maybe she I was turning her on?

Speaker 2 (20:14):
Uh huh?

Speaker 3 (20:15):
But what if I asked her that and she wasn't gay?
It's like, did I look like I'm harassing her?

Speaker 2 (20:20):
So then we were supposed to go dancing last.

Speaker 5 (20:22):
Night, and we're going to go to somebody nowhere is.

Speaker 2 (20:25):
We were going to go dancing. But what happened when
we got back to Yaminika's was that we ended up
staying there for about an hour and everyone was so stoned.
I was stoned. That was great.

Speaker 5 (20:34):
We had so many joints in rotation.

Speaker 2 (20:36):
I know, it was really fun. It was really fun.
But at a certain point, you know, I check out,
and then it was at around eleven o'clock. I was like,
it's time to go home. So I didn't go dancing.
Did you go dancing?

Speaker 5 (20:46):
No? But I went.

Speaker 3 (20:47):
I went to Sherry's after, Oh you did, and we
played spades Sherry Shepherd?

Speaker 2 (20:51):
Yeah, at her house? Or did you go back to
the okay?

Speaker 5 (20:53):
Yeah, her house?

Speaker 3 (20:54):
And then I went home and then you know, some
of our friends got high and did somebody had stayed
my house tonight? Yes?

Speaker 2 (21:00):
Night?

Speaker 5 (21:00):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (21:00):
Really a man? But did you did you have sex?
She has two cats at her house, so the.

Speaker 5 (21:08):
Cat they have to know when a man's coming over.
They got to prepare her.

Speaker 2 (21:11):
She was looking for her cats for about forty minutes
when we got there. It's not that big of an apartment.

Speaker 3 (21:17):
No, no, no, no, no, my cats. I've trained him not
to trust white people. So more than one white person
walking the door, they got to go.

Speaker 2 (21:22):
The cats came the couch.

Speaker 5 (21:24):
They was going somewhere looking for freedom.

Speaker 2 (21:26):
The cat came out from out of the couch and
was running and I'm not exaggerating sixty miles an hour
into the kitchen. I was like, what the fuck was that?
And she's like, oh, that's what's his name? Yeah, he was.

Speaker 3 (21:39):
Like he was He said, no, no, no, he you know,
he heard he heard a lot of passive aggression and
not taking accountability in the apartment. So he had to
go and you know, make sure his NAACP CAT card
was activated.

Speaker 2 (21:54):
So with regard moving back to the political situation here,
because what's going on here? How are you feeling these
days about everything that's going on? Just America kind of
got what it deserves. Is that where you are are?

Speaker 3 (22:06):
You know, everybody make a big deal. Oh like Kamala,
did she say I told you so?

Speaker 5 (22:09):
Did she say?

Speaker 3 (22:10):
Who cares? I hope she does say I told you so.
I don't know why I would change my name to
I told you so, Harris. You see what I'm saying.
Fucker Kamala, I told you so, Harris, because the reality
is those of us who had common sense knew that
this was gonna happen. I think what we have to
be very aware of is that the disease is not

(22:33):
Donald Trump. The disease is the people that were comfortable
with somebody who has a spirit that we have watched
presented itself already in the presidency to then go on
board and say, we do like the fact that he
wants to get immigrants out, knowing that this was a
place that was stolen from the Native Americans and is
built on immigrants.

Speaker 5 (22:54):
We do want him to.

Speaker 3 (22:55):
Get put women back in the times when they couldn't
knowing how women have contributed to sciety. We do want
him to put blacks back in a place when they don't,
knowing to the contributions that black people have made, not
only to the soil here, but to the progression of
this country. And it doesn't advantage us at any point
in time, because we will never have the power that
we need to really be free in this country.

Speaker 5 (23:16):
They said, with.

Speaker 3 (23:17):
All of that and all of these people who are
serving the greater good, even though America never serves them,
we still gonna say fuck you to them because we
want it all only to realize that this country that
has been built on white supremacy and under the guise
of racism being strong, is really a society about classism.

(23:40):
So at the end of the day, once they have
separated the largest group at the bottom and divided us
across boards, now it's easy to take over everything because
you don't have the power of black people.

Speaker 5 (23:54):
Right now, we are tired. What do we like?

Speaker 3 (23:57):
We've been dealing with this shit time and time again,
and no matter how many times we put ourselves in
an environment whit with white people and have white friends,
we keep saying this is our plight. It's still kind
of like, oh, you know, but now white people have
to see the same shit. And I don't have time
to be holding white people's hands into oppression.

Speaker 5 (24:18):
I don't have time.

Speaker 2 (24:18):
Can you believe it?

Speaker 5 (24:20):
Can you? But what is happening? I don't know.

Speaker 3 (24:23):
When we kept saying stop killing black people and black
lives matter, people are like, oh, no, it's all lives.
We're we're not saying black lives because we don't think
it's all lives. We're saying black lives because you don't
know that black lives matter, but then you want to
gaslight us into believing that we're trying.

Speaker 5 (24:39):
To be this. You know, they want to be better,
they want to know, we just want to be a
part of But I.

Speaker 2 (24:44):
Think a lot of white people do understand that, and
there's a group of people that don't understand that.

Speaker 3 (24:49):
It's not all blanket. You can't no, no, no, let me
black people or white people, let me, let me, let
me pull let me let's no, no no. I will say that.
I will say that because what happens is when somebody
tells you how they hurt.

Speaker 5 (25:01):
Right, we're talking in general. A person says how they hurt.

Speaker 3 (25:05):
You can either listen and go, how can I help
you not have that hurt? Right, and that's very centered
around that person, or they can tell you how they're
hurt and you can go, I didn't cause that hurt.

Speaker 2 (25:18):
Uh huh.

Speaker 3 (25:19):
Whether you cause it or not has nothing to do
with the fact that this person is hurting. So when
we have a conversation, especially as a black woman, and
I go, as a black woman, this is what's happening
to me, and I'll have men go, well, I don't know,
as a woman, and maybe certain things as a woman,
white women can relate to, and then they appreciate. Then

(25:40):
there's parts that white women will not relate to because
it's a problem as a black person, and then those
things come together as a black woman. And if I
say to a white woman, here's what's going on, and
that white woman says, well, you know it's not me,
it's like, okay, bitch, it ain't you. But I still
got this shit going on. So how am I gonna

(26:01):
help it? And we gotta stop this people being defensive
when somebody says this is what's happening. Because it doesn't
matter whether you support a whether you not all white people.
We can only say not all white people. If it
was like Donald Trump didn't becoming it was enough white people.
And because it's enough white people, and we keep saying
not all white people, we ain't focused on how many

(26:23):
fucking white people fucked up, how many fucking white women
fucked up, how many fucking people of color fucked up
just because they thought they weren't the people of color
that were gonna be disenfranchised even further. So I'm not
here to give any grace to how anybody feels about
what I'm telling you about what's fucking happening, because when
we play this.

Speaker 5 (26:44):
Game, we have a dictator.

Speaker 3 (26:47):
Well said, I know she wants to eat my pussy
after that, look at her and I saw a little
nipple coming out of the little shirt.

Speaker 5 (26:54):
Bitch.

Speaker 2 (26:55):
We're gonna take a break and we'll be right back
with Y'allmnika, Okay, we're back with Yaminika Sonders. First of all,
follow her on Instagram. She gets banned a lot on Instagram.
She gets shadowed.

Speaker 5 (27:10):
Chelsea was like, I was trying to watch something. Where
are you? I'm like, girl, they took me down again?

Speaker 2 (27:14):
How do they? How do they do that? What did
they do? They tell you why.

Speaker 5 (27:17):
Because I started saying cracker, it's done, it's done. You
can say nigga all day.

Speaker 3 (27:21):
Long, but crack of white people, Like remember when white
women were like Karen is the inward.

Speaker 5 (27:25):
We're like, what, bitch?

Speaker 2 (27:27):
I like being called a cracker. I'm not going to
pretend I don't. I fucking like it. It's funny. You know,
I was in South Africa with my sister once and
we had this kind of guide in South Africa, and
you know, the racism is thick, thick there and we
had this guy who was kind of like giving us
his version. He's a white man. He was giving us
his version of like what happened the history of South
Africa with the Dutch and the English and la la la,

(27:49):
and he you know, his version was an an after.
I hated. I hated this guy from the minute I
met him. I just my sister knew. She's like, you've
my sisters. She was just like, oh, you're not gonna.
I didn't like the way he looked at and like
his body. I didn't like his clothing. I was like, oh,
this guy is shut down.

Speaker 5 (28:08):
You don't like who you get quiet.

Speaker 2 (28:09):
I don't like it, and I have no poker face.
I can't. And as soon as he walked away, my
sister looked at me and she goes, that's he's the
reason why black people came up with the word cracker. Okay,
we're gonna take some callers. We're giving advice.

Speaker 7 (28:27):
Are you ready for the Zamnica?

Speaker 2 (28:28):
Yeah, she's ready. She's ready.

Speaker 1 (28:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (28:31):
I don't think they are, but it's good.

Speaker 2 (28:33):
Okay, Okay, is anyone ready?

Speaker 7 (28:35):
So our first caller is Alicia. She says, Dear Chelsea.

Speaker 1 (28:40):
I'm a thirty nine year old stay at home mom
to a fifteen month old son who is just a cutie.
I like to make her doze with my vape pen
and enjoy gummies regularly. I kept smoking it as it's
the worst way to consume, but since I have been
a cannabis user my entire life, I feel like it's
part of who I am. Lately, I've been contemplating whether
it's serving me I go. I'm thinking it's great, it's

(29:01):
not a problem. I enjoy the creativity it provides, and
I feel like I understand my son better when I'm high.
But then I think about the fact that I'm high
all day long and figure it can't be that healthy.
So when I try to wait until after twelve PM
or after five pm, I always negotiate with myself and
end up vaping. The worst part is my husband doesn't
know I'm high all day. He just thinks I use

(29:23):
it at night. He has an office studio in the backyard,
so he's home all day but not in sides. It's
very easy for me to hide it from him, but
I hate the fact that I'm even hiding it at all.
I live in an area where it's easily accessible and
not considered it a big deal. But because I use
it so frequently, I often wake up feeling groggy or
just met and feel like I'm doing something wrong. I
know I'm not addicted, because when I go out of

(29:43):
town or i'm somewhere, I can't bring my pen. It's
not a problem, but I'm having serious trouble only consuming
it at night and staying sober during the day. As
a regular user, yourself, what do you think about this?
Do I have a problem? Alisha?

Speaker 2 (29:55):
Hi? Aleisha, Wow, she's right there.

Speaker 5 (30:00):
You're right. That was like a novel. No, it was beautiful.

Speaker 3 (30:07):
Yeah, because you know, America's not doing well in literacy
right now, so we need to put you out the
in full front.

Speaker 5 (30:13):
So I'm saying, smoke, keep smoking.

Speaker 2 (30:16):
I would say if you're having feelings like that, though,
if you're having feelings about smoking, if you can smoke
in your care, free about it, and you're not worried
about it and overthinking about it, then that's one thing.
But it sounds like you're you're definitely worried about the
amount that you're consuming and that you're consuming it all day,
and that you're not hiding it from your husband and
and like everything you're saying sounds like you just have

(30:38):
a really bad habit of smoking it too frequently. The
problem with smoking weed too much is that it doesn't
give you the buzz that you get when you when
you take breaks, like when you smoke it less frequently,
there's a better buzz. Like if I get high all
day long, I become a little bit dead in the head.
That's not my idea of a good time. I like
to have a joint or smoke weed, you know, at night.

(31:00):
Like there are days where I smoke all day long.
If I'm skiing in Whistler and I have, you know,
a pipe, and I'm like, okay, I'll just take hits
of it all day long. But over more, it's not
a great habit all day long, every day. That's just
not the best use of your time. You can always
reward yourself in the evening. You don't have to deprive yourself.
But I would say to create a new habit around
your son, kind of respecting your relationship with your son.

(31:22):
He doesn't need his mom to be high to be
around him. That's what you're saying, But it's a little
bit what you're saying.

Speaker 7 (31:29):
And it's just better.

Speaker 2 (31:30):
I mean it's better. It's not the right word.

Speaker 9 (31:32):
It's just it's creates an environment of just a relax
like fun. If he's like a little FESSI I'm just
like not important, you know. So I just feel like
it creates a positive environment. Even though, yeah, there, I
do think that it's not a good idea to be
high all day. The trouble I have is just stopping
through the day because once I start that first morning hit,

(31:54):
then it's like a snowball effect.

Speaker 2 (31:56):
Of course, I've been there, I know exactly what you're
talking about. I would say to put your vapens away
until six o'clock at night. I would say to just
experiment with that. Make it a rule for a week
to just not smoke during the day. You can do it.
You have power within you to make that decision and
to follow through and just have it at night. And
I honestly think you're going to enjoy it more so

(32:18):
at night and you're starting going to start. The first
couple of days are going to be difficult, but it's
not going to be difficult after that. If you want
to be present for your son, I know you do.
That's what we're talking. We're here to talk about if
you want to be present for your son you don't have.
This is just so you know when you have a child,
this is also going to come up for you. You know,
you're not gonna be able to smoke weed all or
you will be well, you'll just do whatever you want.

Speaker 5 (32:40):
I know.

Speaker 3 (32:40):
I'm just watching you and an awe, like, the information
you're giving is amazing.

Speaker 2 (32:45):
Well, I think that you and I think that it's
just a good it's a it's a good example to
set for yourself and for your and for your child.
And you should also let your husband know. Hey, you
know what, I'm only going to smoke weed after six
o'clock from now on. I've decided that's what I'm going
to do. Some times I pick up a pen during
the day and just get through the phase of that,
get through a phase of creating a new habit. And
once you are through that phase, once you go like

(33:08):
thirty days of just doing it after six pm, then
every once in a while, if you if there's a
moment that's so stressful during the day and you're like,
oh God, I could use a hit, you can use
it incrementally, but you have to understand the slippery slope.
When we take one hit and your home all day
with your kid, You're going to take another hit, and
you're going to take another one, and you're going to
take another one. Right, So it's up to you to

(33:29):
rehabituate your life and you're going to be better for it,
and you're going to be a better parent. You're going
to feel better about yourself. The reason you're calling is
because you're having misgivings about the way that you're using.

Speaker 8 (33:39):
Can I think it's a problem.

Speaker 2 (33:40):
So if you think that it is, oh, look are
you okay?

Speaker 5 (33:45):
Right?

Speaker 8 (33:46):
Right?

Speaker 2 (33:47):
So I would just say that you don't have to
like quit marijuana, just use it more sparingly and be
more discerning about when you want to get high. You know,
it should be fun, it should be a celebration. When
I smoke weed all day, I'm not laughing. I'm not
having the best time. I eventually just want to go
to sleep at seven. Like it's not it's not helpful
to smoke weed all day, but it's it's really fun.

(34:08):
Like last night, I we came, I had a joint.
I can't travel with wheed anymore because I'm so paranoid
about getting you know, pulled over or stopped at TSA
because everyone knows how much I love drugs. You know,
it's very public. So uh and my whole new set
is about everywhere I take drugs, so I have to stop.
I've basically told on myself. So I'm with you. I

(34:29):
totally understand and I get you, and but I would
advise you to do that, and you can do it.
You cannot smoke sweed until six pm. You're completely capable
of doing that. I have no doubt in my mind.

Speaker 10 (34:39):
I think I need like a lock box or something,
because I say, they have like little lock boxes you
can get for your cell phone and you just like
put them in there, set your little timer for whenever
you want, and like the are you gonna go to
the store and get more?

Speaker 7 (34:51):
Probably not, like you're gonna wait.

Speaker 6 (34:53):
Yeah, it's a bit of my street.

Speaker 7 (34:57):
Damn it so close?

Speaker 2 (34:58):
What a weed store? Yeah? Oh okay, Well, but I
also think, like have some accountability, like tell your husband
so that you can be accountable, you know what I mean,
Just say hey, I'm gonna give I'm gonna give you
my vayepen. I don't want it until six o'clock. Okay,
just hold it for me.

Speaker 1 (35:12):
Yeah, and I don't even think you need a tattle
on yourself or what you have been doing. Just now, like, hey,
this has been tempting me, so like just keep it
in your office until six or whatever.

Speaker 2 (35:19):
Yeah, then you're a winner all the way around.

Speaker 5 (35:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 9 (35:21):
I would hate it if he saw me and I
didn't realize and like it became an issue because I
don't want to lie to him or him to be.

Speaker 7 (35:28):
Like, what are you doing all day?

Speaker 9 (35:29):
I think you would think I'm extremely irresponsible.

Speaker 2 (35:32):
Yeah, but you're not.

Speaker 10 (35:33):
You're not.

Speaker 5 (35:34):
You're not.

Speaker 2 (35:35):
Don't yourself up about it. Just just make a new habit.
Yeah yeah, okay.

Speaker 9 (35:41):
Okay, thanks so much, ladies. Thanks, okay, bye.

Speaker 2 (35:46):
I just want to make a note that Yamandika's advice
was to continue to smoke weed with her baby. Take
make sure that's on record.

Speaker 3 (35:53):
No no, no, no, no no oh yeah yah okay, But
what I'm saying is to be fair, I was very
pressed with you, m thank you.

Speaker 5 (36:02):
You know what I'm saying, Like the information you gave
was so thoughtful.

Speaker 7 (36:05):
She's good at this, Yaminika.

Speaker 5 (36:07):
I know I need just at tuning in. Why you
don't ever give me advice like.

Speaker 2 (36:10):
This because you don't fucking listen. First of all, remember, yeah, yeah,
I get it, Okay.

Speaker 1 (36:16):
Yeah, Well our next caller is Ali and Yaminika.

Speaker 7 (36:21):
You're an oldest sister, right.

Speaker 5 (36:22):
Yes, I have. I have three half sisters. We share
same father.

Speaker 1 (36:27):
Yes, all right, this is a little bit about having
to take care of your sisters, so Ali says, Dear Chelsea.
I've been a fan for longer than I care to admit,
because it will aige us both either way. I'm emailing because,
like you, I lost a brother at a young age,
and it's impacted my family for years in different ways.

Speaker 7 (36:43):
I'm the youngest of four. My sister, who's ten years older.

Speaker 1 (36:46):
Has continually made bad decisions in the years that have followed,
and I've always been the one to hold things together
for our family. This past year was the final straw
when she fell prey to a bitcoin scam and my
parents bailed her out to keep her out of jail. Honestly,
I'm tired of being the one to keep shit together.
I want to finally break this cycle and figure out
how to move forward with her while staying true to

(37:07):
my own boundaries to protect myself and my kids. I
promise I will get a therapist toe and not just
rely on the show, but I would love your advice.

Speaker 5 (37:15):
Ali.

Speaker 2 (37:16):
Hi, alliw hi, so nice to see you. Nice to
see you too. This is our special guest, Yamnika Saunders
is here today.

Speaker 5 (37:24):
Hi allie Hi.

Speaker 2 (37:26):
That's such a bummer that your sister is so susceptible
to all of that and that fell for a bitcoin
scheme and scam. So what are you thinking about doing
you want to cut her off or what? I like,
where are you right now?

Speaker 8 (37:38):
Well, like I said in my email, I did seek
a therapist and she has been truly wonderful, Like has
really helped me navigate the complex relationships not only between
my sister and my parents, and kind of my brother too,
as you know, like after losing a brother, everybody is
affected in different ways. But yeah, so I think she
has really helped me in understanding how we all got

(38:01):
to the point that we're at. I don't think I'm
ready to cut them all out. Definitely still on the table,
but at this point not really because we don't really
have a lot of family around here. My husband's from
the UK, so like they are our family so it's complicated,
see as you know.

Speaker 2 (38:18):
Yeah, I mean I think that, like I don't know
that there's a necessary it's necessary to do anything in
this moment, Like I think considering that your family history
and everything you're saying, like, most parents aren't going to
bail their kid out when when that happens, And just
because she's made some bad decisions doesn't mean that she's
worth cutting out of your life. You want to really
build and it sounds like you're already doing that with
your therapist. Build an understanding and empathy and compassion for

(38:42):
the fact that she's experiencing life in a different way
than you are, that she's not as responsible as you are.
You know, like we all have a lot of judgment
when people don't act the way that we do. You know,
certain people I know I do. I have a real
problem with judging others when I think they make stupid
decisions or they're not looking after themselves. But it's really
not your job to be police everyone. Sometimes showing up
with extra love and doubling down on love and kindness

(39:04):
helps people get out of rots too. So there's another way,
like an avenue to go about it. What do you
I mean, what do you think.

Speaker 3 (39:10):
I've had a situation like that. Not to get too
much into my own personal you know, because it involves
with my family. I'll use this one example with my mother.
My mother, I can tell her a thousand times I
don't want her to do something because I don't want
it to hurt her, you know, disadvantage her. I know
what the result of that's going to be, and I'm

(39:32):
trying to protect her, and my mother will still go okay,
let me still be involved with this part and go mom,
you know we know what's going but you know God
told me okay. So the boundary is because watching you
be frustrated by a situation with somebody that I know
is frustrated is going to frustrate you or take advantage

(39:54):
of you, and you still are doing that. I can't
go on that emotional journey with you. I'm gonna be
here as your daughter. I love you, But when this
thing blows back on you, like it's done time and
time again, I'm not your resource to have a conversation
about how to get over that. So if you're fine
with me not being there for you at all while

(40:16):
you handle that, continue to do what you do but
any any point in time that you expect me to
be emotionally there and supportive with you, my opinion has
to also matter, and the decisions that you're making.

Speaker 8 (40:29):
No, And I think that makes perfect sense. That's a
healthy boundary. I think. I mean, like you said, I'm
learning how to set those with everybody, and I think, yeah,
that definitely helps, because it's like I've also been reading
mel Robbin's book about Let Them, and it'sself freaking hard.

Speaker 5 (40:42):
Yes, you're like a very loving person.

Speaker 3 (40:45):
And that's the thing about it, right when you're loving
and you're because you'll be surprised. Reciprocity in people is
not given right. And sometimes you'd be like, why would
somebody do this? I would never do that. I would
never do this to my per I would never put
And then some people don't even think like that. And
if you're thinking for yourself emotionally and for your sister

(41:06):
and all the nots, just she get you're doing a
lot of emotional thinking and what's left over for you,
Then you feel taking advantage of right, You feel discredited,
you feel unheard because you keep yelling to people that no,
preserve your energy for you.

Speaker 5 (41:23):
You need to preserve some for you, and.

Speaker 3 (41:25):
Your parents love you and they'll be there. But they
also got another daughter they gotta fucking deal with, and
that's Daybirtha. Not you. You're her sister, You're not her
mother and her father.

Speaker 8 (41:35):
And I think that's fair. I think where some of
the complication comes in is my parents. Even I'm the
youngest youngest of the four of us, they expect me
to be the one to kind of help her learn
right from wrong and like to be the middle person
because I've always been the middle person between my parents
and my sister. And when I cut myself out of that,
they were kind of just they were mad at me,
and I was like, what the hell, Like I'm doing
the I'm trying to set my own boundaries for myself

(42:00):
my kids, and the fact that they didn't respect that
really annoyed me too.

Speaker 1 (42:03):
So it's like, anytime you set a healthy boundary, like
the people who benefited from your lack of boundaries are
going to be upset with that, And like that's kind
of okay. The other thing I will say is I
love this idea of like doubling down on love. And
I'll also just say loving someone doesn't necessarily mean that
like you're the shield that keeps them from experiencing consequences.

Speaker 7 (42:26):
And it sounds like some of the.

Speaker 1 (42:27):
Boundaries you're putting in place have maybe been active in
that in that way.

Speaker 8 (42:33):
Yes, absolutely, And I think that's part of it too,
is like we're all kind of figuring out new roles
and dynamics in the family, with me removing myself from that,
so navigating kind of where we love too.

Speaker 3 (42:44):
I want you to understand, Ali, That's also what I'm
telling you is the people in the world that will
take advantage of kindness and love. You understand. You don't
have to stop loving, you have to turn it off,
hold it. It doesn't mean respect is not there. Okay,

(43:04):
you understand yep, because a lot of people not that
I'm against what they're saying. I'm not standing down on this,
doubling down on love, love yourself. You can't love everybody,
and people will take advantage. Once they've shown you they're
taking advantage, You've got to start making decisions that are
going to benefit your own mental capacity. Trust me, I'm

(43:24):
forty six, I'm perry, menopausal. I've been sweating here and there.
I don't give a fuck about nobody right now.

Speaker 5 (43:32):
You understand it's taking all.

Speaker 3 (43:34):
In me to give a fuck about you right now
because I'm perryman a pausal.

Speaker 2 (43:38):
She didn't know, by the way, she didn't know she
was Perry menopausal, so I told her last night.

Speaker 3 (43:41):
So but I wish you well, Alli, I see you
have such a beautiful spirit.

Speaker 2 (43:48):
Yeah, and don't lose my love and healthy boundaries are
the best because you're not only creating them, you're demonstrating
them for other people. Like Catherine said, they're not gonna
like it in the beginning, and like you admitted that
your parents like it. But you are creating a different
dynamic and a different paradigm with your family, and that's
more important.

Speaker 8 (44:06):
Right, And I think that's what I want a model
for my kids, right, Like, yes, I want I want
them to want to spend time with me as an adult,
and I want them to whereas I don't have that
with my family. It's kind of like an obligation sometimes,
And so I want to have better relationships overall.

Speaker 7 (44:21):
Yeah, well, you're doing the work to get there.

Speaker 5 (44:23):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes.

Speaker 8 (44:29):
Good luck with perimenopause. I'll be there in a few years,
I'm sure.

Speaker 4 (44:31):
Thank you.

Speaker 5 (44:34):
Bye.

Speaker 2 (44:36):
I like that you're just going to go around sweating,
you know, like in the meantime, like what's stuff? I
don't know what to do. I just found you have
from me. I diagnosed you last night. You have to
go to your OBG. Y N, you have one, right.

Speaker 5 (44:50):
I'm a vaginanta of course.

Speaker 2 (44:51):
Okay.

Speaker 5 (44:52):
Do you think people don't have women they are women
that don't have a ob G.

Speaker 3 (44:55):
I N.

Speaker 2 (44:55):
I don't know. I mean some people don't. Yeah, some
people just don't have doctors that they go to regularly.

Speaker 5 (45:01):
That's crazy. I'm on my my my charts all the time.

Speaker 2 (45:04):
My brother doesn't go to a doctor ever. Ever, they
never Both of my brothers never go. And maybe it's
a mail.

Speaker 5 (45:09):
That's a man thing too. Yeah yeah, yeah. They don't
think they need to check out anything.

Speaker 2 (45:12):
What's next, Catherine?

Speaker 7 (45:14):
Well, our next question? This one's just an email, not
a caller.

Speaker 1 (45:17):
It's a little bit tricky, but Yaminika, I listened to
your conversation with ts Madison about tricky trends questions, which
I would really recommend to anyone.

Speaker 7 (45:25):
It's a great conversation.

Speaker 2 (45:27):
I learned so much nice. How do people listen to it?

Speaker 7 (45:30):
It's on YouTube?

Speaker 1 (45:31):
So just look up TS Madison and Yaminica Saunders and
you will find it.

Speaker 2 (45:35):
And if you want to try and spell Yaminika, good luck.

Speaker 5 (45:37):
Y A m A any I k A thank you.

Speaker 1 (45:40):
Yes, so I thought you'd be a perfect person for
this question. Okay, Summer says TS. By the way, I
love TS Madison, I mean, yes the best.

Speaker 2 (45:49):
And also shout out to Yamaha, which is how I
pronounced your first names.

Speaker 5 (45:55):
Dam Well.

Speaker 1 (45:56):
The subject line is my ex is a woman now?
Am I the asshole for blocking Dear Chelsea? Last week
I looked at my blocked profiles and noticed that my
ex was no longer on there. I figured they had
gotten off of social media. I hadn't talked to them
in almost a decade. This morning I saw someone sent
me a message request. It was my ex, but I
guess they're a transwoman now based on the name change

(46:17):
and profile photos. Sorry to message you out of the blue,
but I woke up today with the memory that today
might be your birthday. If it is, and I hope
you have a great day. Btw, it's not my birthday.
I don't have fond members of this X. I lost
my virginity to this person. And not by consent. It
was my first serious relationship. We went to high school
together and dated in my first year of college. Two

(46:38):
years after we broke up, we connected again and I
met their wife and two daughters. I liked his wife
and daughters, but I got a reminder of why I
did not talk to them her and blocked them after
a couple of interactions for the next decade. Am I
the asshole for wanting to keep blocking their profiles summer?

Speaker 3 (46:54):
I mean they changed genders, not personality. I mean, what's
a dig a dicky?

Speaker 2 (47:00):
Yeah, I don't understand. If you lost your virginity to
them without their your consent, and that that's and then
you dated the person.

Speaker 3 (47:09):
That's a trauma. Sometimes that's a trauma response to an essay.
You become victimized and it's a weird. So I feel
bad for that, and I understand the trauma. What I'm
telling you is, I think this person may think that
they're transphobic because they're doing this, Because this has nothing
to do with trans an asshole. That's a person nality, right,

(47:32):
that's a spirit thing.

Speaker 5 (47:34):
You can't transition your spirit.

Speaker 3 (47:36):
You understand you're born with a shitty spirit you're gonna
keep a shitty spirit until you talk to somebody about
your shitty spirit.

Speaker 5 (47:43):
So keep the person blocked.

Speaker 2 (47:46):
Yeah yourself, Yeah yeah, agreed, agreed.

Speaker 1 (47:52):
And then also maybe like if you're not already in therapy,
like check some of that out just so you can
release some anger and work through some of the stuff
that happened, because that's stuff.

Speaker 7 (48:01):
Okay, Well let's take a quick break and we'll have
a quickie to wrap up.

Speaker 2 (48:04):
Okay, we'll be right back with Yaminicas Sanders. And we're
back with Yaminica Sanders. Do you wanna where was less
than you had sex? By the way, I I did,
I just did.

Speaker 3 (48:20):
You sent me a box, Chelsea sent me, not even
a box, you know the boxes where you order a
Christmas tree right from Amazon and they send you a
large box.

Speaker 5 (48:32):
They can't even break the ship up. It's a lot.

Speaker 3 (48:34):
She sent me that size box of vibrators, dildos, and
machines that can lick your vagina without your assistance. And
I and one of them, one was in a baggie,
don't even not even like a bag, like I'm talking
about a glass like one of them yellow and blue

(48:54):
makes green.

Speaker 5 (48:55):
You know all that shit. She sent me that look
and it was greasy.

Speaker 3 (49:00):
Then she sent me the wheel because I wanted to
use the one with the licking thing because I've never
had it before. She sent me to one that she
she didn't even wipe it down.

Speaker 2 (49:09):
The the wipe it down, the loub was.

Speaker 5 (49:12):
So stuck on there it melted into the thing. I was.
It was you ever seen a mechanic.

Speaker 3 (49:19):
When he got from underneath the hood of a car
and all it like the the transmission fluid dropped down
on his face and he had to open it in
like a ak. Well, that's it was like that. I
could not believe it. What you do to your vagina,
Chelsea is insane. But I do currently have three of
them in rotation and the one we saw them last night,

(49:41):
and I have some out on the front rod. I
can't get rid of them.

Speaker 2 (49:44):
None of the vibrators that I sent you had been
used by me. I got lots of swags sent to
my house. I told Carlos, who works use their vibran,
to get all the vibrators out of the house and
to send them to Yaminika, because I know how horny
you are. I know how horney I've been listening. I

(50:05):
hear you. I see how you interact with men, and
you need like a constant penetration of some sort. So
as a gesture of friendship, I said, you know who
could really put these fucking vibrators to use? The one
that was used I can't speak to because I've never
used any of those. But I did have a friend
who came from Whistler who stayed at my house, and
when she saw my I have a table where people

(50:27):
send all of their you know, when when a celebrity
comes out with a vibrator, they send it to me
or you know whoever whatever brand, And my friend came
downstairs and she goes, oh my god, you're never gonna
believe this vibrator whatever. It was like it was like
a double whoopsiedoodle, like one in your asshole and one
of your She goes, this is amazing, this is amazing.
She goes, you have to try this, and I'm like, well,

(50:47):
I'm not hitting me that, I'm not gonna know all. Like,
I let me finish. I said, I am not going
to use the vibrator that you used. Are you fucking serious?
I looked at my friend, I go, are you you
think I'm gonna use your By the way, my friend
was here going to medical appointments. She was seeing a
bevy of doctors to make sure that she wasn't diagnosed
with something very bad. And during that time, I go,

(51:10):
at what point during this week of medical appointments did
you feel horny?

Speaker 8 (51:14):
Like?

Speaker 2 (51:15):
That's what I couldn't understand. So, if there was a
used one, my conjecture is that that was hers that
she left in the spare bedroom that was wrapped up,
probably by my housekeeper, my bell, if she didn't use it.
Also because she's also masturbates at the house sometimes, I've
been told. And then she sent that to you. And
I'm sorry that you got to use vibrator, but I
would encourage you to wash it and use it again.

Speaker 3 (51:36):
You had said, let me finish, like when you got finished,
it was all gonna make sense. It was worse the
more I let you finish. You mean to tell me
you let me? You sent me through the mail? If
can somebody google if this is a hate crime, and

(51:57):
I want the Post office to get involved.

Speaker 5 (51:59):
I want you to not Yeah, let's.

Speaker 3 (52:00):
Get you did tell me, Chelsea that you sent me
the vibrator of a bit who was in your grab,
who was having current vaginal appointments when a doctor was
going on world vagina.

Speaker 2 (52:13):
No no, not vaginal, not vaginal. No no, no, no, she
didn't wasn't saying about a vagina. She was talking to
doctors about a different condition that had nothing to do
with her vagina.

Speaker 5 (52:22):
Any condition. I put that ship in my pussy.

Speaker 2 (52:25):
Bitch, I know, I know you did, and you're going
to do it again. What's the last question, Catherine? Do
we see? We do we do?

Speaker 1 (52:33):
Our last question comes from one of our rare straight
mail listeners. Dear Chelsea, I recently got an invitation to
my ex girlfriend's wedding. We dated for about a year
and then had an amicable breakup. We remained friends after
we split up, but I feel it odds with going
to the wedding because about six months into her relationship
with her now fiance, we hooked up a few times,

(52:54):
and I don't know if she ever told him that.
They've been together for over three years now and he
seems great. So I want to be part of her,
but part of me feels guilty about being there.

Speaker 7 (53:02):
Should I go or just blow it off? Thanks Zach.

Speaker 2 (53:05):
That sounds like a straight man's question. Serious. Wow, we
don't get a lot of straight man calling into this podcast.
First of all, I really appreciate that because being sensitive
to all of those different kind of nuances of what happened. Yeah,
I understand feeling weird about that, and I probably would
skip the wedding.

Speaker 5 (53:22):
Here's my thing.

Speaker 3 (53:23):
If he's going to maintain a friendship with her, and
he already has a friendship with her in him, it
is going to look weird that he's not at the wedding,
So you know, he has to think about that as well.
I think he needs to address like what is his
feelings for her? You know, because if you still hooking up?
What does she feel about this guy? Why are they
hooking up?

Speaker 5 (53:42):
Wow?

Speaker 2 (53:43):
Well that was that was before they've now been together
for like two and a half years. The first six
months she said they were He said that they've been
hooking up. But Zak, I would say, yeah, I would
skip the wedding because, like, the husband.

Speaker 3 (53:53):
Don't skip his e Really, I'm telling you.

Speaker 2 (53:57):
If he you know, and like if he knew that
someone was there.

Speaker 5 (53:59):
That she he's friends with them, That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (54:03):
But the husband doesn't know about them fooling around, right, probably.

Speaker 3 (54:06):
But if okay, your ex, your friends were now were
all friends, and we get married and all of a sudden,
your ex who's our friend, is not at our wedding.
Oh y'all must have slept together, then that's the first
thing I would think. If my partner's ex, who we're
all friends with doesn't show up to our web okay,
so go you know, yeah, you just know you have to.

Speaker 5 (54:30):
Go to the wedding.

Speaker 3 (54:31):
What you need to do is get over that you
fucked with her and just move on, because clearly I
guess they moving on. They get married and just start
a clean slate.

Speaker 2 (54:40):
Yeah, that's true, that's true. I'm just thinking of the husband.
I'm thinking of the husband, like, how would you feel
to know that your girlfriend and your wife is someone
she was cheating on you with is at the wedding?

Speaker 5 (54:52):
And I understand that, Chelsea.

Speaker 3 (54:54):
What I'm saying is, I don't know how if if
he's friends with them now, that's because it's all about
what the husband's gonna think.

Speaker 5 (55:02):
Is he ever going to tell him that they did that?
He's not going to tell them, So I.

Speaker 2 (55:05):
Would put you raise a better point. I guess I
guess you could sow Zach great. I mean one one
piece of advice and then a different piece of advice.
Problems problems solved. Problem has been solved.

Speaker 5 (55:19):
I love you, Chelsea, I really do.

Speaker 3 (55:22):
I wish I didn't use so many ways you're problematic,
but you know I love you.

Speaker 5 (55:27):
I just really do.

Speaker 2 (55:28):
I love you too. Okay, that's us for today. Follow
Yaminika on Instagram. You guys, please give her love on
Instagram so that they stop.

Speaker 5 (55:36):
Sucking YouTube too.

Speaker 2 (55:37):
Please just get YouTube and go watch that special. It's
really important.

Speaker 5 (55:42):
And clear your history.

Speaker 7 (55:43):
Awesome. We'll have fun at the Mammogram you too.

Speaker 2 (55:46):
Thank you.

Speaker 5 (55:46):
I'm going to get my boots with that too, was like,
thank you.

Speaker 2 (55:52):
Okay. My remaining dates for Vegas, there are remaining dates
for this year. Summertime is coming and I will be
in Vegas at the Cosmo doing my residency on August thirtieth,
and then November one and twenty ninth. November one and
November twenty ninth, I will be in Las Vegas at

(56:14):
the Cosmo performing Inside Myself at the Chelsea. It's called
Chelsea at the Chelsea for a reason. Okay, thank you.

Speaker 1 (56:23):
Do you want advice from Chelsea right into Dear Chelsea
Podcast at gmail dot com. Find full video episodes of
Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod.
Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive
producer Catherine Law And be sure to check out our
merch at Chelseahandler dot com