June 12, 2025 • 52 mins
Wendi Mclendon-Covey joins Chelsea to chat about her love of New Orleans, why she’s obsessed with costar David Alan Grier, and the best thing about being childfree by choice. Then: A childfree woman struggles when her partner’s teenage kid moves in with them. A mom wonders if her daughter is asexual. And a 20-something is put in an awkward position when her neighbor sleeps with her best friend.
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Executive Producer Catherine Law
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, Catherine, Hey, Chelsea.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Well, we have a great guest today.
Speaker 3 (00:04):
Everyone knows her from Reno nine one one, Bridesmaid and
now Saint Dennis Medical and Wendy McClendon Covey's joining us now.
Speaker 4 (00:11):
Hello.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Wendy, Hi, baby, Hi, Hi.
Speaker 4 (00:15):
Hi, Wendy McClendon covey, Good morning, Good morning to you.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Was that your brother helping you set up your podcast?
Speaker 2 (00:24):
That was my husband, my brother husband.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
My brother husband. Hi, It's so nice to see you.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Where's good to see you.
Speaker 4 (00:35):
I tried to see you at the night we were at
the Critics' Choice Awards together.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
I saw you, but I didn't see you.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Good job with that PS.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Oh, thank you, Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
That was amazing because you had the unenviable position of
having to make everybody happy after the city had burned
to the ground and that show had been rescheduled three times,
and you nailed it. You were fantastic. Thank you, Thank
you so much, Wendy. I appreciate that.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
I'm Wendy and I share a gynecologist and his name
is David Allan Greer. So I first want to just
talk about your experience working with him, because I have
never ever been able, nor will I ever Wendy be
able to take that man seriously as an actor, as
a person, as a skier. I tried to ski with
(01:27):
him once.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
I don't remember. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he tried to tell
me he could ski.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
And this was before I became the skier that I
am today, before I'm a pretty decent and competent skier.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Now, yeah you are, thank you, thank you. I appreciate that.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
And I worked hard to get there, you know, like
I took it very seriously, like almost like a college degree.
But David, like the idiot that he is, and will
always remain trying to convince me that he's the one. Actually, no,
I have to give him a little bit of credit.
He's the one who got me back into skiing because
he took me skiing on the West Coast. I don't
(02:05):
remember if we were in Tahoe or we were in
maybe Aspen Comedy Festival. It was something where there was
like a comedy festival related, so.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
It must have been Aspen.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
And he was like, oh, let's go skiing.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
I said I don't have any ski clothes and was
like springish, and he said, you don't need any you
just need jeans. And like, you know a vest, and
I'm like, since when? Because I grew up in New Jersey,
so I skied on the East coast, right, and so
he convinced me to go skiing.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
We went skiing.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
We went out for about an hour and a half
until he started complaining he was too cold in the
springtime he had. He was the one who dragged me
out there and then started complaining, and finally I told
him to get off the mountain. I was having a
really good time on my own, you know, I was like,
leave me alone. And that was when I discovered that
skiing could be actually pleasurable when when other people weren't
(02:50):
with you, and warmer weather, when you didn't have to
put on all that gear. And so he kind of was.
He was kind of the person that re introduced me
to adult skiing. So I do want to give him
that shout out, but I've had so many personal experiences
with him as a friend.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
That I don't want to give him any credit beyond that.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Okay, you're blowing my mind that he skis at all, Well,
he doesn't, and because he doesn't like to leave the
house the David I know. Now Again, I've only known
him for a year or two, you've known him for
a lot longer, but that he would willingly go and
ski or do something physical that's amazing to me.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Or do something fun.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
Yes, I don't know what's happened to him over the
past couple of years because I haven't stayed in touch
with him.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
I think I haven't hung out with him probably in
like ten years. But when.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
Whenever I see him, I just think of that day
on the mountain, and I just think of I mean,
he is he is one of our funniest people.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
He is he really is.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah, and tell me about what it's like working with him.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Well, okay, so you and I are roughly the same age.
So we both watched in Living Color. Uh huh right, yeah,
and that was a pretty mind blowing show, yes at
the time, and he was so damn money on that
and in anything he does. So when I heard that
he was doing this show, Saint Dennis Medical, I couldn't
(04:13):
say yes fast enough. And when I'm on set, I
feel like I just catch myself staring at him, like, Wow,
you're really right there and we know each other and
you know who I am, And this is crazy to
me that this is where my life is. So when
we're in a scene together, I basically turn into an
audience member.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Okay, you forgot to save my life.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
So you respect him? Oh yes, yeah, that's the difference
between you and me. I don't have any respect for him. Actually,
we should book him on this podcast because I would
like to tell him to his face.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
I tell him. I think he needs to hear it.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
But I like that you do respect him because he
is very entertaining and obviously the show is a huge chant.
Congrats on all the nominations you guys received. Well the Critics'
Choice nomination for sure, and congrats on CEAS and two.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
Also, congrats on being one of the funniest women out there,
because you make me fucking laugh what I mean a
lot of you. Yeah, you do. You make you make
everybody laugh. You're ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
You and Carrie.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Kenny Silver on Reno nine one one is just too
fucking funny.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
These two are ridiculous together. Well, the whole cast of.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
Rena nine one one deserves an award every year just forever.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Having done that show.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Well, you you have some fun with us, didn't you.
I did?
Speaker 4 (05:33):
I did a guest star on that show years and
years ago. I was so I was, Yes, it was,
which was also a ridiculous experience. It was so fun
to be a part of that show because you guys
improved so much and everyone was always just about to
break and always laughing in the middle of scenes.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
And that's really what I Those are the only kinds of.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
Productions I like to be involved in, is when people
are breaking on camera.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Well, we were lucky to get you, and you were
so cool about it because I remember, you know, Reno
was just like a fly by the seat of our
pants kind of show like permits. Never heard of her,
you know, we never got fermits for anything. It was
just gorilla shooting. So we needed cars for some reason.
We needed cars to drive by and it wasn't safe,
(06:22):
but you said, oh, you can use mine. I'm turning
it in tomorrow. It doesn't matter. You can thrash it.
And it was like, that's a good girl, right there,
she will go there, yes, of course, and she's hilarious.
So yeah, all in the name of comedy, right, Wendy,
that's right, that's right.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
So tell me about your life. What's happening, what's happening
in your personal life. So this is your husband brother
that set us your podcast for you.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yes, and right now we're in New Orleans.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Oh what are you doing there?
Speaker 2 (06:52):
We have the tiniest condo in the French Quarter and
we come out here as often as we can. I
love this city. I cannot tell you what kind of
hold it has on me. Wow. But we hadn't been
able to get out here since right around New Year's
so we needed to come out and just check on things,
do some housekeeping, and of course we're gonna have fun
(07:14):
and try to hear some music and stuff. But we've
missed Marti Gral this year. We're missing jazz best we
missed we missed French Quarter beest. But doesn't matter. I
just love it here.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
I feel like there's always a festival happening in the
French Quarter always.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
And when we got here there were three parades. Three parades.
We couldn't our cab couldn't even get us to our house.
They had to drop us off at the park and
we just walked our luggage through the.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Through the preade.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Quarter. Yeah, pretty much became you should.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
Have immersed yourself in the parade, and so you got
to your house.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
I know I should have, just you know, disrobed.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Do you ever run into Amy Schumer down there?
Speaker 4 (07:51):
Because I was recently when I always did a show
down there, I went to her house in the French Quarter.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
I heard that she has a house, and no, I
I've never run into her.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
Oh you too, need to connect. You two would really
get on like a house on fire.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Really.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Yeah, I'm going to put you on a text with her.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Do you know if she has a big house, because
like I said, we've got a tiny little place because
I don't want to I don't want to worry about
a big house.
Speaker 4 (08:15):
No, no, no, no, no, it's not crazy or anything
like that. It's it's normal. It's normal size. She does
have a pool in the backyard, but it's not Wow. Yeah,
but it's not a crazy house. Amy's not crazy like that.
She's like, you know, she's pretty normal. Now, you have
a house in Spain, I do that is not.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
A normal Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
No, And I'm not going to pretend that it is.
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (08:36):
But do you you must go there a lot.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
I do go there. I go there in the summer.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
I we rent out that house a lot because you know,
it is so ridiculous, so in order to justify it,
I have to rent it out.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
But I do go there with it.
Speaker 4 (08:49):
I go there like I'll be there in June for
a week and hopefully I'll spend like the month of
September or October, whatever my schedule allows. I share that
house with a lot of my friends and family, and
it's the biggest It's one of the best gifts I've
ever given myself, as the house in Maorca.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Catherine's been there, gorgeous.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
It's kind of like a slice of I remember looking
at this house, and you know, places speak to you
as you're talking about New Orleans, right, which is such
a magical place everyone if you haven't been to New Orleans,
once you go, you understand there's just something there that
is not available anywhere else in any other city in
the United States. And I'm not sure about the world.
I mean, you know, maybe there's parts of Paris I
(09:29):
feel like the French Quarter or something, but which was
why what It's probably called the fucking Front Quarter, But
I just.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Pieced that together.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
As I was saying it, I'm like, oh, but you
know when you find something and you're like whll wha ooh,
this is like my childhood, like it came, It came
from my child my childhood memories. It evoked all of
these happy feelings, like the view of the water in
the setting that it is, and just the boats that
like the sailboats parked in the bay reminded me so
(10:00):
much of my childhood growing up on Martha's Vineyard and seeing, Wow,
it's not the same exact view, obviously, but it's it's
a very similar view. And I remember we would always
sit outside on our deck and my dad would every
time we would be outside, he'd be look at this view,
look at this view.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
So I've had that imprinted in my brain.
Speaker 4 (10:20):
And when I found my house in Myorca, it was dilapidated,
it was run down. I had to climb over some
balustrade and banister to get up there with a couple
of friends.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
And I remember turning around once we got in.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
Once we broke in and turned around and looked at
the view, I said, look at this view. I cannot
believe this house is abandoned. Like I'm going to get it.
And so that's how I feel every time I'm there, like,
look at this view and I could get lost in
that view and sit in front of that water for
days and not leave the house and be perfectly happy
(10:52):
as long as somebody's making me a frozen mango decory.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
It's really magical there, it is. You know, the older
you get, the less it takes to make you happy.
Sometimes it's just a nice view and a good drink,
I know. Yeah, yeah, So wait, your your house was abandoned.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
You you just found it. You didn't go through a
realtor or anything. You just it said for sale in
Spanish on it. But like it was, it was like
the roofs had caved in, like like the pictures were
still on the walls, the like you could go up
halfway up the staircase, but you couldn't go all the
way up to the top. So it needed just to
be refortified. There's not a lot of leeway they give
you in those small towns. You have to kind of
(11:28):
stick to the plan and just like refortify it, you
know what I mean. Like the even the banisters outside
on the terrace, they have to be in like you know,
my orcin code, And so that's even more beautiful I think,
so that you can't really you know, you can obviously
design it however.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
You want in the interior, but what you do on.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
The outside has to have the edifice has to match
the area. But yes, best gift I ever bought myself.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Amazing And you earned that, Thank you, You earned that.
You worked your ass off. So yes, absolutely deserve to
have a beautiful vacation home.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Well, you deserve the same. You absolutely deserve the same.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
You don't do you don't have any children, Wendy, Right, Nope, nope, no,
And how do.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
You feel about that decision?
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Every day? I pat myself on the back for sticking
to my guns.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Fucking high five, high fucking five right there.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
I mean, the best thing that the thing that people
never tell you about making the choice to never have children,
which nobody ever told me that was a choice either
I did anyone ever tell you it was a choice
or did you just inherently know or.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
I just always knew I didn't want them? Yes, but
I never said that because it seemed like something that
I was gonna have to do regardless. But I mean,
even when when I remember being little, being presented with
a baby doll and being like, oh no, that's so
much work. Yeah, I don't want to. I don't want
(12:54):
to fuss with this thing. I got stuff to do.
I've got to go make mud pies. And you know,
I never wanted them, but I liked barbies. I liked
you too. She's a career woman.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Me too.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
I like it's a career woman exactly.
Speaker 4 (13:07):
I had never contemplated this though, but you're absolutely right.
That's how I felt about like playing mommy and baby
and with little babies. Like I liked cabbage Patch kids
because they seemed like they had a little personality.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Yes, you know what I mean, Like they could change
their own diaper probably.
Speaker 4 (13:24):
Yeah, And they were like you could get one with
a dimple and green eyes and brown hair, like you
could kind of design them or they you know, like
pick out the ones you had freckles. But they seemed
like they had a little spunk. They weren't babies, you know.
I remember getting a pre MEI cabbage Patch. I'm like,
I don't want this. I want the one with the
long brown hair, the green eyes and the dimple.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Yeah, that's what I prease. They they're too they're too young.
You gotta be fussing with them all the time. Every
two hours. You gotta feed them. No, thank you want
nothing to do with that.
Speaker 4 (13:52):
The other thing, though, is what we need to tell
people who are listening to this, as we have so
many female listeners, and I'm sure many of them are on,
you know, thinking and deliberating about whether or not they
want to be a mother when you choose not to,
because people go, am I going to regret this decision?
I don't know anyone that hasn't had a child that
(14:14):
sits around and goes. I wish I had one. Anyone
that is child free goes. Thank god, I got through
that area of time, that period of time where I
could have been vulnerable to possibly dislodging a child. I
did not fall for fall prey to that, and I
made it through the tunnel that where I am no
(14:36):
longer able or viable to have one, like I feel
like whoop.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
I got through that test.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Yep, yep. And then I for a while I looked
at like Diane Keaton who adopted at fifty, and I think, well,
is that an option? No? It isn't.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
No, No, it isn't.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
And I love kids and I love that people want
to have kids. I don't judge that, but boy do
I feel judged when I tell people, yeah, that was
never in the plan, never wanted them. I've been told,
you know, oh, well, that's really selfish. It's really selfish
of you not to have them, and it's like, wild,
I don't think it is. I think it's selfish to
(15:14):
have them because you think you're supposed to and then
resent them, yeah, and turn them into an unfunny comedy
routine that a lot of people do. Oh yeah, I don't.
I think that's repugnant, but whatever.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
I think it's selfish to bring a child into this
world where you're not one hundred and fifty percent down
with the idea of what's going to happen, Like, if
there's any doubt at all, then it's not for you.
You have to yearn for something the way that we
would yearn for our careers, the way that we yearn
to be creative. You have to have that longing and
that yearning with regard to children, and if it's not there,
(15:49):
then I think that's your answer.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Yeah exactly. And I see people going through IVF and
doing all these things and it's like, well, I hope
it happens for you. You clearly want it so much much
but I have never wanted it. Well, and Greg and
I you know, we've been married twenty nine years, and
we would check in with each other. You good, you
don't want any great and we've always been on the
(16:12):
same page with it.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
Wow, twenty nine years, that's great. Yeah, and that's why
you're still together, probably because you never had to be.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
I think so too. I think so too.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
What are you going to do for your thirtieth anniversary?
Do you want to go to my house in MAJORCA.
I'm offering it up for you to celebrate your thirtieth
anniversary wedding anniversary.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Oh my god, that's amazing.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
It'll obviously be I'll obviously Pepper and some other couples
who are celebrating big milestone, so it can turn into
a big swingers party because.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
I can't mark up.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
I leave well enough alone.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
That would be amazing. And we'll look at the view
give us.
Speaker 4 (16:48):
Some serious nuggets of wisdoms or not so serious of
why you have a successful marriage for thirty years, like
what is the secret?
Speaker 1 (16:56):
What's your secret?
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Well, my secret, my quote unquote secret is before I
say anything critical of him, I look at myself and
find out that I'm not so delightful either, So I
try not to criticize him before I see what I'm
doing wrong, and I'm usually doing something terrible. I'm a
(17:19):
pain in the ass. He's very how are you?
Speaker 1 (17:21):
How are you a pain anything?
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Well, you know, listen, I'm an actor, I'm very needy,
I'm moody, I'm a perfectionist, and I have a short temper,
whereas Greg is nothing but pure sweetness, is very slow
to anger, and it is just the most supportive person
(17:42):
in the world. So if there's anything wrong in our marriage,
it's usually my fault and I'm willing to admit that.
I can admit it, and I think admitting it is
one thing. And also when he does something sweet, I
tell the whole wide world. So I brag on him
a lot because he is really like, I couldn't do
anything that I do if I didn't have that man.
(18:05):
He's the only one who ever encouraged me to go
into acting. The rest of my family and friends were
just like, oh, this is embarrassing, don't do that. Well,
he was right. Apparently it worked out. He was right.
But like, he's the one who wakes me up in
the morning. He gets up before me, he fixes my
breakfast every morning and sends me off to work. What
(18:30):
else can I ask for?
Speaker 5 (18:32):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (18:32):
It sounds like you chose very well for your personality.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
He's just my everything. Oh, I was just born to
love that man.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (18:42):
I love to hear that. That's so, it is very
heartwarming to hear. Did you make bad choices before you
met your husband? Like did you have a pattern of
dating other types of man?
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Yes? I did. I did, but I learned my lessons quickly.
Like if I do something terrible once, I will not
do it again. So like if I date a drug
addict once, that's gonna be the only one. You know,
I'm done. I see the signs. We're not going to
go through this again. You can't change people. That's not
my job. I got other things to do. So there's that.
(19:15):
And also like my parents and I love them and
they're still together. They are having their sixtieth wedding anniversary
next week. But they fought constantly. They got married very young,
and they fought constantly. For some people when they grow
up in that they seek that out without realizing it
(19:37):
because it feels normal. That never felt normal. And I
won't do it. I'm not going to live in a
house where there's constant chaos and arguing. So I knew
that's not something that I was gonna put up with.
Speaker 4 (19:51):
Yeah, a lot of people who call in have a
lot of trouble breaking that. Like, I'm a big proponent
of what you're saying, make your first time the last time,
you know, Like, I don't want to learn same lessons twice.
I'm busy. I want to move on and learn another lesson.
I want to, you know, I want to have new experiences.
But a lot of our people are like how you know,
Like they have such trouble letting go of toxic relationships,
(20:14):
and at our age, it's so easy to give the
advice of like this is just not for you. Like
the sooner you learn these lessons, the happier and freer
you become as a person, and then the things, the
things that you want and think that you need come
to you without so much effort being put out.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
No, you're one hundred percent right, And if you will
just do that kind of mental health cleaning, then you
make space for all that good stuff to come in.
But if you don't clean house, you're always blocking your blessings,
which I know is a very woo thing to say about.
Speaker 4 (20:47):
No, no, No, you're in the perfect place to say no.
But that's okay. I'm wu wu too. I mean, you
can't be you can't move to California, live here for
thirty years and not just fucking capitulate, you know what
I mean. I'm like, okay, I mean I'm two I'm
two easters away from celebrating that, you know. I mean,
that's and that's not wu woo. That's actually woo woo
to me now. Is that's what I consider wo wo
(21:09):
is like real religion. I'm like, okay, get away from
me with that. But what do you guys have to
talk about after thirty years together? Out of curiosity?
Speaker 5 (21:18):
Is that?
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Ever? God?
Speaker 4 (21:19):
Just anything just so natural that you it doesn't even
it's not an issue because I have trouble keeping a
conversation with somebody I've been dating for ten months.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Yeah. I think the way to get around that, though,
is that silence is okay sometimes too.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
You don't always have to be entertaining, No, you can
just sit there, it's fine. And then things do pop
up that you've never you know, stories you've never told before.
I don't know, it's just a it does seem like
you would run out of things to talk about, but
there are always things and I don't know how to
explain it, but it never gets boring.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
Back to Saint Dennis Medical, do you guys do a
lot of improv on that show?
Speaker 2 (21:59):
We do. We do. Our showrunner Eric Legend, he was
one of the creators of Superstore and American Auto and
stuff like that. He really does encourage us to get
it done the scripted way, and then we can improvise
that there's just something we have to do and they
usually leave it in. They've been pretty generous with us,
(22:20):
and I have to say working on that show is
such a pleasure because our showrunners love their families and
want to go home at night. So if they don't,
you know, for the listeners at home, if your showrunner
doesn't necessarily want to go home, you don't get to
go home either. So it's great because we're usually done
(22:41):
by six o'clock every night. Oh what a treat.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
That is ideal. Yeah, in this business, that is very unusual.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
I got the script for that show like four hours
after The Goldbergs was canceled, so I'm lucky it came
my way because it was in a during a year
where they just weren't making a lot of pilots at all.
I think they made four across network television. Yeah, this
one got picked up.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
I remember that year.
Speaker 4 (23:06):
I remember when they was like out of I mean
they used to make like twenty five pilots a year
and I don't pick up I don't know ten and
then all of a sudden, there was one year where
they made four fucking pilots and people were panicking about
the state of the industry.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
So you were on the goldbergs for ten years, was it?
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Ten years?
Speaker 4 (23:24):
And you played a mother and I read that you
didn't want to play a mother again.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Isn't it funny? Even playing a mother's exhausting.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Well, I mean I had, look I play, I got
to relive the eighties again. So I've been in the
eighties for twenty years, all right, which I've had enough.
All Right, I get it. The eighties were fun. I
loved playing a mom, and now I understand like kind
of what my mom went through at that time, but
I got that out of my system playing, you know,
(23:54):
the overbearing mama, and I loved it, but I didn't
want to do it again, not for a while anyway. Right,
And so when I read this, you know the character
of Joyce the administrator, the hospital administrator, she's such an
odd ball that I found her irresistible and was like, yes,
I want to do this.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
Yeah. I mean the role is so perfect for you,
and you're so perfect in it. Thank you, absolutely, I
love you. I think you're just so fucking funny, I mean.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
So talented than you, Chelsea.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (24:26):
Okay, we're going to take a break and we'll be
right back with Wendy McClendon covey and her brother husband.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
We'll be right back.
Speaker 4 (24:36):
And we're back with Wendy McLendon covey. Okay, Wendy, we're
going to take some callers. Okay, we're your goat advice here.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
So Catherine, what do we have today?
Speaker 3 (24:46):
Well, our first email comes from Andrea. The subject is
twenty six year old virgin Dear Chelsea, my daughter just
came to visit me for a couple of weeks. My
daughter is beautiful, thoughtful, and smart. She graduated college, went
to cooking school, and is now working successfully as a chef.
Whenever I ask the subject of dating is always changed
(25:06):
to another subject or answered with a one word answer.
She never has a boyfriend and never has and never
really even kissed someone. And I'm just at a loss
as to why. I asked her if she was asexual
and she said no, She's only getting older and I
don't want her to be alone and never see what
joy being in a relationship will.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
Bring, let alone sex. I don't know what to do
or say.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
Please help coming from her loving mom who only wants
the best for her, Andrea.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Is she gay?
Speaker 4 (25:33):
Is your daughter a lesbian? And do you have feelings
about her being lesbian that are preventing her from being
truthful to you about being a lesbian? Asexual? Isn't the
only question to be asking this?
Speaker 2 (25:47):
No, totally, totally, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (25:49):
Like, if she's asking she's a sexual, she's asked her
she's gay. She didn't mention that part, and she keeps
mentioning a man, not a person, right, right, So maybe
she's a lesbian, So maybe you should think about that
or I don't know. Do you know a lot of
asexual people, Wendy, I do know a couple.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
I know a couple, I know a couple and look,
she's twenty six. She could be just very picky. She
could be gay, that was my first thought as well.
Or she might have a secret life that you don't
know anything about sunds.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Like, that's prob. Or she could be a totally late bloomer.
Speaker 4 (26:22):
You know, some people don't really come into their own
until they're in their thirties, like sexually. First of all,
you don't even come into your own sexually until you're
like forties and fifties for a lot of women, So
that could be something too. But definitely, you pushing her
is not going to put her in a relationship that
has no impact whatsoever on anyone. I would leave the
situation alone for as long as possible until she comes
(26:43):
to you with some information that allows you to ask
further questions. But I would also put it out there
that if she is a lesbian, if she is a sexual,
if she does have some secret life that she doesn't
want you to know about, that you are okay with
that because you.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Have to be Yeah, yeah, I mean, and some people,
I think dating now is so intimidate weird.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
It's weird.
Speaker 4 (27:04):
It's like we went full tilt on the dating apps
and everyone went bonkers, and now there's like a contraction,
like people are so disgusted by dating apps and by
what's available out there that people are like, I'd rather
be alone.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
So I think we're in that phase of things.
Speaker 4 (27:20):
And plus, our younger generations are not as sexually active
as we were because there's so much porn and everything,
so they actually don't need to get it, you know,
So there's this possibility that she's a sexual.
Speaker 6 (27:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (27:33):
Also just leave her alone, Like, there's nothing that's sexy
about talking to your mother about sex. Yeah, that's not
going to probe her. I mean, that's not going to
push her. Sorry to say probe. That's not trying to
true into anything. So back off, mom, Back off.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Our first caller today is Beth. She is thirty.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
Dear Chelsea, I've been with my partner for almost seven years.
I'm thirty and he's fifty two. I'm biologically child free. However,
last summer, my partner's teenage son moved in with us
full time from the West Coast to the southeast because
he was expelled from his school and was having various
behavioral challenges. The transition was extremely challenging for me personally,
as someone who has no desire to have kids, so
(28:15):
much so that I got my tubes removed earlier this year.
But I also did it for our relationship, as my
partner and I have different ideas of parenting. At times,
I do think his son is a good person at heart,
but his communication is regularly disrespectful and loud. He doesn't
ever take accountability, which is super triggering for me. My
partner and I have been in couple's therapy for co parenting,
which has been helpful for the relationship, but I still
(28:37):
find myself frustrated with his son's behavior. I absolutely loved
your book and how you wrote about your relationship with POOPSI, Whoopsie,
and Oopsie. It really touched me, and I admire how
you built a relationship with them and became such an
influence in their life. So my question is this, when
I'm so frustrated with my partner's son's behavior, how do
I get over my frustration and irritability? What do you
(28:58):
think I can or should do to build a us
relationship with him. I've been in his life since he
was seven. We've gone on vacations together, we play video games,
sometimes I drive in places. Do his laundry, occasionally cook
family dinner for the three of us nightly, among other things.
But I'm still struggling with the relationship dynamic I have
with his son. Please help me be a better step mom.
I'd like to have what you're having.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Love you so much, Beth, Hi, Beth, Hi, Chelsea.
Speaker 4 (29:22):
Hi, this is Wendy McClendon Covey, our special guest today.
Speaker 6 (29:25):
Hi.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Hi, Bed Yeah, nice, see too.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
That's nice that you're I mean, first of all, it's
very nice that you're trying so hard and that you
want to try hard, you know, and that is a
difficult situation.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
How old is he again?
Speaker 5 (29:38):
He is fifteen.
Speaker 7 (29:40):
Okay, it was hard in the beginning when he first came,
I was kind of on the fence because it was
so hard because I'm the oldest of seven kids. So
that was also that's like just a component of life.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Like you've done your mothering.
Speaker 5 (29:56):
Yeah, it's was hard, kind of is.
Speaker 7 (30:00):
But now I'm more in those spirit of like, Okay,
I'm trying to give this a try and just fully
embrace it. And when I get so irritable and frustrated,
like this is kind of also been a hard week,
it makes me I don't want to say, not want
to try, but it makes me feel just overwhelmed.
Speaker 4 (30:20):
And is he how like what level of disrespect does
he exhibit to you towards you.
Speaker 7 (30:25):
So he'll get I mean, he's a teenager, so I
know teenagers have attitudes, but he'll have an attitude or
a whole talk back. He also doesn't know when enough
is enough or like when to stop. So like, for example,
this weekend, we went to the beach and you know,
hoarsing around. We had fun, and then it's like, okay,
we're done. But all throughout the rest of the day
he kept antagonizing and just hitting me. And then I
(30:48):
was laying in bed Saturday night with my partner and
he comes in and like hits me on the head,
like thinking he's joking, and I'm like, I'm trying.
Speaker 5 (30:55):
To go to sleep enough. So it's just also just
like not knowing when enough is enough.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
Uh.
Speaker 5 (31:02):
And I'm also someone that stays very calm.
Speaker 7 (31:05):
I don't like yelling, whereas my partner, you know, they'll
get in arguments and yell, and so when I say
something to him or point out, you know, hey, your
dad is trying to tell you x Y z he
then will shut down or who'll become nasty back towards me.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
Mm hmm. Sounds like a typical teenager.
Speaker 7 (31:26):
Yeah, And sometimes I see a lot of myself in him,
Like when I was a teenager, I was also very
like headstrong, so I relate to him on some levels.
We're also both libras, if that means anything to you, but.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
I'm a lilybra as well.
Speaker 4 (31:42):
I go, yeah, let's go great, because I I don't
get it.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
I don't know what that means.
Speaker 5 (31:49):
Just balance and yeah, wanting balance and stuff, but right right.
Speaker 7 (31:54):
Yeah, it's just I think it's been hard also because
I don't want kids for a very very you know,
long list of reasons. So yeah, I'm just not sure
what to do in terms of how to not be.
Speaker 5 (32:10):
So triggered and frustrated.
Speaker 7 (32:11):
Because I'm also in my own recovery for mental health,
so personal responsibility and accountability to me means a lot,
and it's very, very frustrating to try to build awareness
around him of like how to take accountability like he's getting.
He gets in arguments with teachers a lot, and it's
always the other person's fault, So I think that's that's
hard for me.
Speaker 4 (32:31):
Too, Yeah, that's annoying well, and but also again he's
fifteen years old, so his brain isn't fully formed yet, right,
and it's not going to be for unfortunately for another
ten years because he's a man. So that's like what
twenty five twenty six was when their brain's fully formed?
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Is that right?
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Yep?
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Or is it later?
Speaker 3 (32:49):
I want to say, like twenty five to twenty is
when you're like frontal lobe is done cooking.
Speaker 4 (32:54):
What I've learned when I took my parenting classes for poopsie,
woopsie and oopsie, what I've learned is like you know,
when they're they're combative, it's different with a boy. So well,
when they are combative, it's like you have to be
in a joking mood with them, Like you can't meet
their anger with anger, like your husband yelling at him
when in him yelling like that doesn't do anything. That
(33:14):
just keeps the cycle going and it's like a storm
in the sky that's just moving around in different areas.
But when you meet their anger with like, yeah, I
hear you. You sound pissed off. You must be pissed. Yeah,
you sound really pissed off, not validating his feelings, but
acknowledging how he feels, you know what I mean, not
saying you're right and that your feeling is justified by like, wow,
(33:38):
you do seem really pissed off, you know, let me
give you some space, or like, okay, well, I'll be
over here when you calm down, you know, when you
want to talk about it. If you want to talk
about it, I'm here. You don't have to whatever. Like
you just kind of throw it back at them in
the moment that they're in, so that you're not ignoring
their feelings and it actually makes you feel better because
(33:59):
you're What we tend to do, I think when we're
dealing with other people's children is take things so personally
and it's not personal. Like they're going through puberty. They
have all these hormones raging through their bodies. Their temper
is not their own, their emotions are not their own.
You know, it's a period in their life where they're
just uncontrolled. It doesn't happen as badly with every teenager,
(34:21):
but it happens a lot and it sounds like that's
what's happening with him, you know, And in the moments
of calm is when you can kind of point things out.
And since you're a stepmom, it's a very specific dance
of being like, you know, you want to be like
a cool person in their life that they can come to.
You want to like open up that avenue and be like, listen,
(34:42):
I know this is frustrating, but like, let when you
want to talk about it, if you ever do want
to talk about it, I'm here. I'm always here for you,
you know, and not to like impose yourself on them,
but to make sure. And it sounds like you're doing
all those things. You're spending time with him, You're cooking
dinners every night, do all of the things that put
the marbles in the jar so that he knows he
(35:04):
has an ally and someone he can rely on. And
like the instance of him coming in and smacking you
on the head in the bedroom when you're done playing,
like how did you react in that moment?
Speaker 7 (35:14):
I just turned over slowly and looked at him, and
I was like really, like just I didn't yell at
him or it was like what did I doing?
Speaker 5 (35:23):
Why did you?
Speaker 7 (35:23):
I just acknowledged maybe this isn't the time and place,
like it's nine o'clock at night, we had fun at
the beach earlier, but you know, and his dad has
noticed the same thing, Like they'll rough house and they'll
play around, but then it's still the same of like
he doesn't know when to stop, and if we try to,
I don't want to say, he gets stern, but like
(35:45):
more serious of like okay, hey, it's time to stop.
Then that triggers him and he gets upset and then
is like, oh, you guys are no fun.
Speaker 5 (35:52):
Or you know, why do you always have a problem, And.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
It's like, no, it's just because he's embarrassed.
Speaker 4 (35:57):
He's embarrassed to get like so how did you react
when you did that, when you turned over and you
gave him that look, did he get the message?
Speaker 5 (36:03):
He just walked out great.
Speaker 4 (36:05):
Great, But that's the result you want, like end of that,
you know what I mean, without an argument?
Speaker 1 (36:12):
He got the message.
Speaker 4 (36:13):
So I think you're doing a good job with the
way you're handling it, by not losing your temper, by
being available when they need you.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
And you know, when he.
Speaker 4 (36:20):
Gets in fights with his teachers repetitively, it's not about like, oh,
you know, what's your part in this?
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Because he's not there yet. He's only fifteen years old.
But it's just acknowledging.
Speaker 4 (36:31):
Yeah, that must be really tough, without laying blame on
either person, him or the teacher. Be sure that you're
not doing that, you know, which it doesn't sound like
you are. But by just being available, available for the
good moods, for the bad moods, being around there, don't
allow yourself to be a punching bag. But that doesn't
warrant fight either. You can just say I'm sorry, I'm
not interested in this right now. Like you're kind of
(36:53):
being aggressive, that's fine, you're in a mood. I'm going
to go over there, or I'm going to go to
my room, and then when you're ready to talk, come
get me. I'm always here that kind of attitude. Do
you get what I'm saying?
Speaker 5 (37:03):
Yeah, yeah, I do that that makes sense.
Speaker 7 (37:06):
And I think because it's it's like I want to
be a support for him, which I think I am, but.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
I like it sounds like you definitely are.
Speaker 6 (37:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (37:14):
I try.
Speaker 7 (37:16):
And I've known him since, like I said, I you seven,
and you know, we've had instances where Who'll just come
and talk to me and start telling me stuff about
girls or whatever is going on in school and we've
had some good conversations like why he thinks he lies
and why he thinks he does and thinks he does.
And I've noticed that if he is not being yelled at,
(37:36):
he is also more inclined to be calm, which is,
you know, the ideal.
Speaker 4 (37:42):
Well, of course, I mean everyone's going to be more
common they're not being yelled at. Yeah, what do you think, Wendy.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
Well, first question, are they in therapy together?
Speaker 7 (37:54):
He was in anger management classes when he lived back
out on the West Coast.
Speaker 5 (37:59):
And I'm a big proponent for therapy. I wish he
would do it, that his dad would kind of push
to do it. He thinks he doesn't need it, Okay, Well,
two of.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
Them need to be in therapy together.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
I think Yeah, I think so too. I think that's
a great idea.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
And I'm I am a little concerned that you have
been adamant about how you don't want kids, but you
are taking on this mother role. I don't know that
that just kind of stuck out to me, like hmm,
I don't know, Beth.
Speaker 4 (38:31):
I think, at the very minimum, the least that your
husband can do in exchange for you taking on this
role that you did not seek out for yourself would
be to mandate that there is a you know, therapy
like that, that he goes to therapy with his son,
or that his son go alone. He's the father, the
(38:52):
kid is fifteen. He doesn't really have a choice.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
It doesn't matter that a.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
Fifteen year old doesn't think they need therapy.
Speaker 4 (38:59):
That's just in valle you know, like, and that has
to be on him, and you know what I mean,
that has nothing to do with you. It can't be
coming from you. It has to be coming from his father.
And that could be an easy requirement. He wasn't living
with you guys, and he was going to anger managements.
That's a sign that he should be continuing in the
direction of therapy in some capacity for sure.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
Yeah. And you shouldn't be the only one doing all
the inner work. You know, you're in recovery. You said
so that that can be very triggering. And I feel
like that's the biggest piece of the puzzle is the
two of them need to work on this together.
Speaker 4 (39:35):
So can you talk to your husband about that? Do
you feel comfortable having that conversation?
Speaker 5 (39:39):
Yeah, for sure, And I think you might be open
to it.
Speaker 7 (39:41):
I hadn't thought about that before of both of them
going together, because like my partner, we were together in therapy,
which we've only what we've been doing it for about
three months now, which it's it's been helpful, but he's
admitted and knows he parents from a place of guilt
of like dad guilt.
Speaker 5 (39:56):
But that's that's in stuff he needs to deal with.
Speaker 6 (40:00):
Not me.
Speaker 4 (40:01):
Yeah, and and and he should and that kid should
just be going to therapy on his own anyway. You know,
it sounds like he's been uprooted and moved around, like
he needs to go to therapy. You don't just go
to anger management classes. And then that's the end of
the story. You know, there's got to be another transition
and another phase out and it's only going to be helpful.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
But that has to come from your husband.
Speaker 4 (40:21):
So why don't you have that conversation with your husband
and be like, listen, this is I'm putting a lot
of effort here, you know. And also the self work
that you're talking about, like you know, letting him trie
like you're doing a great job. So patch yourself on
the back for that. This kid's not going to unmoor you.
He's not gonna you know, you're think of yourself as
a tree. You're a tree and there are leaves and
(40:42):
there are branches that might wave around through the wind
and storms, but you were firmly planted in the ground.
You've done your work, You're in recovery, and this is
just another way that you can like spread your love around,
you know, via him, with with all of the components
in play, and that being one of the major components
being therapy.
Speaker 5 (41:03):
Thank you.
Speaker 7 (41:03):
I do really appreciate that because I've really been trying
and yeah, on the start, it was a debate for me,
and inner debate of do I stay or do I
go because of just the trauma I've been through my life,
you know, being the seven and just mothering and parenting
is just I like my time being my time. I
like to have my freedom, and I mean I still
(41:27):
kind of have that. It was a it was a
real adjustment in the beginning last fall.
Speaker 1 (41:31):
I bet, I bet.
Speaker 3 (41:32):
I think one way to get a little bit of
time back is he's fifteen. He can do his own laundry.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
Let's get that off your plate.
Speaker 4 (41:38):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't need to be cleaning
semen out of socks. That's that's yeah, below your pay grade.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
Okay, Beth, will you check in with us and let
us know.
Speaker 1 (41:48):
How it goes?
Speaker 5 (41:49):
Yes, definitely, thank you. I just want to say thank
you so much.
Speaker 7 (41:52):
And Chelsea, I look up to you so much and
value your authenticity like I just, I really am so
grateful for this opportunity and I just I yeah, I
just You're an inspiration to me.
Speaker 5 (42:02):
So thank you.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
I love it. Thank you so much. Thank you you.
Speaker 2 (42:06):
As well, Hi beg. All right, well let's take a
quick break and we can come back with our caller.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
Okay, well, take a quick break, we'll be right back.
Speaker 4 (42:14):
Please tag me for the Special because I get so
many tags about my books, but I'm not getting as
many about my special and my special is the newest
thing out, so I want to make sure all my
Ardent fans are watching it and tagging me and I'll
repost you. And yes, it's called the Feeling, And we're
back with Wendy McLendon covey. How I'm alifluous. It just
(42:36):
rolls right off, just.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
Roll, you know what.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
Yeah, Wendy McLendon covey.
Speaker 3 (42:41):
Yes, Well, our last caller today is Alexandra. She is
thirty two. She says, Dear Chelsea, I am in a
very awkward situation with my neighbor. Me and my neighbor
became friends this past year over our dogs. Becoming friends,
we started so annoying. We started going on dog walks
together and hanging out occasionally, having drinks and things like that.
(43:03):
We never had any issues until she slept with my
best friend Jack. When I found out they were texting,
I told them both they shouldn't sleep with each other
because it's going to make things very weird between all
of us, and boy did it. Essentially, they ended up
sleeping together, both agreeing that it was a one night stand,
and after he didn't message her because it was a
one night stand, she started acting really weird. She started
(43:24):
to take her feelings out on me on our dog walks,
even though I asked not to be involved. Two times
she asked me if I wanted to go for a walk,
and the walk was perfectly fine, until out of nowhere
she corners me and says things like, I feel like
I'm just your dog walking friend and we never hang
out together on the weekends. She started to get really
possessive over me, to the point where I had some
friends over for my birthday with my friend Jack included,
(43:46):
and she got really weird because she wasn't invited. I
decided that I needed to tell her she can't treat
me like shit like this before we go out, so
I replied to a text with the following, I wanted
to say this before we go out to walk again.
Since you and Jack slept together, you've taken some of
your feelings out on me, and I don't want another
awkward walk. Us being dog friends was never a problem
before you guys slept together, and I don't feel like
(44:07):
I should have to explain myself for having close friends
over for a party for you. Ntex Yeah, I'm cool
if you are. I never got a response, and this
was a little while ago. I feel we're both actively
avoiding each other, Chelsea, what do I do? Our windows
literally face each other. Alexandra Well, Hi, Hi, Alexandra Well,
good text, by the way, good text.
Speaker 4 (44:29):
I mean, I don't know, you know, she has to
get over that. I don't know that there's anything you
can do other than like time will pass. But it's
gonna be a problem because Jack is your best friend,
so he's going to be resurfacing right.
Speaker 6 (44:43):
Yeah, to always a little bit of timeless pass now,
but we've bumped into each other and like not said
a word because I'm like, I'm not going to back down,
and she probably feels the same. And yeah, they I
don't think they've spoken to each other either. They've probably
I think they said hi in passing, but I just
been like, no, like you can't just ghost me like that. Yeah,
(45:04):
I feel like it's really a strange behavior. But I'm
also not backing down.
Speaker 4 (45:09):
Well, but also who I mean, like really, who gives
a shit about her?
Speaker 1 (45:13):
And you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (45:15):
You and your dogs, like like your dog has can
you can go for a walk without her?
Speaker 6 (45:19):
You don't.
Speaker 4 (45:20):
It's not like a relationship that is built, like you
have this deep, deep friendship like you were dog walking buddies.
So until she can actually get her shit together and
get over it, it was one night stand and that
take that face value people say all the time and
to fine with that, and then they're not fine with it,
and it's so annoying.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
It's like you knew what.
Speaker 4 (45:38):
This was, so I wouldn't worry about extending an olive
branch or anything. You know, after like a few months
go by you can like if you want to drop
a bottle of wine at our front door and be like,
are you ready to just start walking our dogs again
or do you need more time?
Speaker 2 (45:53):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (45:53):
You know what I mean, Like you could do something
cute like that if you want to, but it sounds
like you don't want to. And by the way, who cares, Like, yes,
your windows face each other, but you know this is
why you don't become friends with your neighbors.
Speaker 5 (46:07):
Oh my god, I definitely learned my lesson.
Speaker 6 (46:10):
We had some new neighbors moving a couple days ago,
and now I was just like hello, and also and yeah,
you're so right. I don't really I've really stopped caring
about being friends. I think in the beginning it was
just really weird because our windows literally face each other,
and like her front door is right there, and I'll
see her leave and she'll see me leave, and it's
(46:33):
just like, yeah, I don't care, but our dogs will
just be like oh my god, you again and like
my friend like and then I'm just like, no, you
can't be friends anymore. This friendship's over. Yeah, And we
like bumped into each other out on a dog walk
and like nobody else was there. It was really weird.
It was like six in the morning, and like our
(46:53):
dogs were like playing with each other and we just
didn't say a word to each other.
Speaker 2 (46:56):
And I was just like, this is so weird.
Speaker 6 (46:58):
But yeah, I don't really want to be her friend,
if I'm honest with you, because clearly her friendships you
have to have like terms and conditions and I'm not
really do exactly.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
And it's annoying, right, Wendy, don't you agree?
Speaker 2 (47:11):
Like who I mean, it's hard when the dog children
get involved, I know, But the only thing you can do, Yeah,
the only sane thing to do is ignore the whole situation. Yeah,
she's an adult who made an adult decision, and this
does not have to fall on those shoulders.
Speaker 4 (47:26):
She's an adult who made an adult decision and then
acted like is acting like a child. So and you
didn't do anything wrong except for warn them not to
do it because of this outcome and now you're sitting here.
Speaker 1 (47:37):
You didn't do anything to her.
Speaker 6 (47:40):
No, And I even tried, like before they when they
were talking about sleeping with each other, I had her
around and I did like the whole girl coaching, and
I was just like, I'm going to look after you here,
and I'm going to tell you not to do it
or please not to do it, because like and try
to say it in a nice way, like he is
my best friend and it wasn't like you're not, but
(48:01):
also like it just is going to get weird and
it's like, oh, but it isn't a little bit of fun, okay,
And I'm just like and I knew he just wanted
to one nice son anyway, and you made it perfectly clear.
And then I just had a feeling something crazy was
going to happen. And then they did it anyway, and
I was just like, look, I've warned you, and I
tried to be like the good girlfriend and you didn't listen,
and now you're just being really strange.
Speaker 3 (48:23):
So yeah, I feel like you don't have to be
friends with her, but just to like, you know, you've
said to her, hey, we're cool, and I would just
act as such like you are going to run into
her when you do like hey, so and so and like.
Speaker 4 (48:36):
And she's were that's on her, Like I you don't
have to ingest that, you know what I mean? You be,
you do, you do your thing. You don't have to
be silent when you see you can say how are
you didn't know what?
Speaker 1 (48:46):
Or did you read this or I don't know whatever.
Speaker 4 (48:48):
You guys would normally talk about or talk about something
related to the dogs. But like, if she's acting strange,
then that's on her. You haven't done anything, yeah yeah, yeah,
and you warned her I.
Speaker 6 (49:01):
Did.
Speaker 2 (49:02):
You are absolved from any responsibility.
Speaker 6 (49:07):
That's I think why I'm more mad than like sad.
I just got really angry because I was just like
I tried to do the right thing by you, and
really I really didn't need to clearly didn't need to
like try and look after you.
Speaker 1 (49:21):
So thanks, Okay, Well problem solved. You need to move.
Speaker 5 (49:30):
I keep hoping she will.
Speaker 1 (49:33):
I hope she does too.
Speaker 6 (49:35):
Yeah, I'm sure she will, all right.
Speaker 2 (49:37):
Thanks for being out in Alexandra.
Speaker 6 (49:40):
Thank you so much, thank you bye bye.
Speaker 4 (49:45):
That this reminds me of an expression from like one
of my second grade teachers who used to say a
word to the wise. Who did she say a word
to the wise? Should be sufficient? That reminded me The
story is like, don't talk to your neighbors. You know
you can be you can be neighborly, but don't get
involved with them.
Speaker 2 (50:04):
Well, since since I'm in New Orleans, I do have
a folk magic sure or for sketchy neighbors.
Speaker 6 (50:12):
What is it?
Speaker 2 (50:13):
And that is you focus a mirror at their house
and all their bad energy gets reflected back to them.
Oh so, you know, depends on how bad they are,
how sketchy they really are, the you know, whatever happens
as a result. But we did that with some of
our neighbors and they moved.
Speaker 1 (50:33):
Well.
Speaker 4 (50:33):
Great, Wendy, wait to wait for the guests to be
off of the show to tell us that, especially when
they have two windows fucking facing each other.
Speaker 2 (50:41):
Well, she's gonna listen to this podcast. Error doesn't have
to be a big one.
Speaker 4 (50:50):
Yeah, exactly, and then you know that's a great that's great.
Speaker 2 (50:53):
I would try it, try it. Yeah, that can happen.
Speaker 1 (50:58):
Okay, Wendy, thank you so much for being on the
podcast today.
Speaker 2 (51:02):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 4 (51:03):
And when does this have St. Dennis Medical Season two start?
Speaker 2 (51:06):
You know, we start back at work in June, but
I'm assuming the fall we will be back on NBC.
So awesome.
Speaker 4 (51:15):
Yeah, and is it Peacock or is it NBC? It's
NBC the first run and then the next day on Peacock.
Speaker 1 (51:21):
Okay, so everybody can watch Saint Dennis Medical on.
Speaker 4 (51:23):
NBC or Peacock and you can catch up on Peacock
and you can catch up on Peacock. Watch it first
and then catch up on it later.
Speaker 2 (51:31):
Exactly.
Speaker 4 (51:32):
Thank you so much for being here, love, Thanks for
having speaking with you.
Speaker 1 (51:36):
All right, have a great day in New Orleans.
Speaker 2 (51:39):
Thank you. Okay, have a good one as well. Talk
to you soon.
Speaker 1 (51:42):
Bye. Okay.
Speaker 4 (51:44):
My remaining dates for Vegas, there are remaining dates for
this year. Summertime is coming and I will be in
Vegas at the Cosmo doing my residency on July fifth.
We will be the next date that I'm there, July fifth,
August thirtieth, and then November one and twenty ninth. November
(52:05):
one and November twenty ninth, I will be in Las
Vegas at the Cosmo performing Inside Myself at the Chelsea.
Speaker 1 (52:13):
It's called Chelsea at the Chelsea for a reason. Okay,
thank you.
Speaker 3 (52:18):
Do you want advice from Chelsea? Right into Dear Chelsea
podcast at gmail dot com. Find full video episodes of
Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea pod.
Speaker 2 (52:27):
Dear Chelsea is edited
Speaker 3 (52:29):
And engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law, and
be sure to check out our merch at chelseahandler dot
com
Hi, Catherine, Hey, Chelsea.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Well, we have a great guest today.
Speaker 3 (00:04):
Everyone knows her from Reno nine one one, Bridesmaid and
now Saint Dennis Medical and Wendy McClendon Covey's joining us now.
Speaker 4 (00:11):
Hello.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Wendy, Hi, baby, Hi, Hi.
Speaker 4 (00:15):
Hi, Wendy McClendon covey, Good morning, Good morning to you.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Was that your brother helping you set up your podcast?
Speaker 2 (00:24):
That was my husband, my brother husband.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
My brother husband. Hi, It's so nice to see you.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Where's good to see you.
Speaker 4 (00:35):
I tried to see you at the night we were at
the Critics' Choice Awards together.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
I saw you, but I didn't see you.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Good job with that PS.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Oh, thank you, Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
That was amazing because you had the unenviable position of
having to make everybody happy after the city had burned
to the ground and that show had been rescheduled three times,
and you nailed it. You were fantastic. Thank you, Thank
you so much, Wendy. I appreciate that.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
I'm Wendy and I share a gynecologist and his name
is David Allan Greer. So I first want to just
talk about your experience working with him, because I have
never ever been able, nor will I ever Wendy be
able to take that man seriously as an actor, as
a person, as a skier. I tried to ski with
(01:27):
him once.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
I don't remember. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he tried to tell
me he could ski.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
And this was before I became the skier that I
am today, before I'm a pretty decent and competent skier.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Now, yeah you are, thank you, thank you. I appreciate that.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
And I worked hard to get there, you know, like
I took it very seriously, like almost like a college degree.
But David, like the idiot that he is, and will
always remain trying to convince me that he's the one. Actually, no,
I have to give him a little bit of credit.
He's the one who got me back into skiing because
he took me skiing on the West Coast. I don't
(02:05):
remember if we were in Tahoe or we were in
maybe Aspen Comedy Festival. It was something where there was
like a comedy festival related, so.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
It must have been Aspen.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
And he was like, oh, let's go skiing.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
I said I don't have any ski clothes and was
like springish, and he said, you don't need any you
just need jeans. And like, you know a vest, and
I'm like, since when? Because I grew up in New Jersey,
so I skied on the East coast, right, and so
he convinced me to go skiing.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
We went skiing.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
We went out for about an hour and a half
until he started complaining he was too cold in the
springtime he had. He was the one who dragged me
out there and then started complaining, and finally I told
him to get off the mountain. I was having a
really good time on my own, you know, I was like,
leave me alone. And that was when I discovered that
skiing could be actually pleasurable when when other people weren't
(02:50):
with you, and warmer weather, when you didn't have to
put on all that gear. And so he kind of was.
He was kind of the person that re introduced me
to adult skiing. So I do want to give him
that shout out, but I've had so many personal experiences
with him as a friend.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
That I don't want to give him any credit beyond that.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Okay, you're blowing my mind that he skis at all, Well,
he doesn't, and because he doesn't like to leave the
house the David I know. Now Again, I've only known
him for a year or two, you've known him for
a lot longer, but that he would willingly go and
ski or do something physical that's amazing to me.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Or do something fun.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
Yes, I don't know what's happened to him over the
past couple of years because I haven't stayed in touch
with him.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
I think I haven't hung out with him probably in
like ten years. But when.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
Whenever I see him, I just think of that day
on the mountain, and I just think of I mean,
he is he is one of our funniest people.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
He is he really is.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah, and tell me about what it's like working with him.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Well, okay, so you and I are roughly the same age.
So we both watched in Living Color. Uh huh right, yeah,
and that was a pretty mind blowing show, yes at
the time, and he was so damn money on that
and in anything he does. So when I heard that
he was doing this show, Saint Dennis Medical, I couldn't
(04:13):
say yes fast enough. And when I'm on set, I
feel like I just catch myself staring at him, like, Wow,
you're really right there and we know each other and
you know who I am, And this is crazy to
me that this is where my life is. So when
we're in a scene together, I basically turn into an
audience member.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Okay, you forgot to save my life.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
So you respect him? Oh yes, yeah, that's the difference
between you and me. I don't have any respect for him. Actually,
we should book him on this podcast because I would
like to tell him to his face.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
I tell him. I think he needs to hear it.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
But I like that you do respect him because he
is very entertaining and obviously the show is a huge chant.
Congrats on all the nominations you guys received. Well the Critics'
Choice nomination for sure, and congrats on CEAS and two.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
Also, congrats on being one of the funniest women out there,
because you make me fucking laugh what I mean a
lot of you. Yeah, you do. You make you make
everybody laugh. You're ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
You and Carrie.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Kenny Silver on Reno nine one one is just too
fucking funny.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
These two are ridiculous together. Well, the whole cast of.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
Rena nine one one deserves an award every year just forever.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Having done that show.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Well, you you have some fun with us, didn't you.
I did?
Speaker 4 (05:33):
I did a guest star on that show years and
years ago. I was so I was, Yes, it was,
which was also a ridiculous experience. It was so fun
to be a part of that show because you guys
improved so much and everyone was always just about to
break and always laughing in the middle of scenes.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
And that's really what I Those are the only kinds of.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
Productions I like to be involved in, is when people
are breaking on camera.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Well, we were lucky to get you, and you were
so cool about it because I remember, you know, Reno
was just like a fly by the seat of our
pants kind of show like permits. Never heard of her,
you know, we never got fermits for anything. It was
just gorilla shooting. So we needed cars for some reason.
We needed cars to drive by and it wasn't safe,
(06:22):
but you said, oh, you can use mine. I'm turning
it in tomorrow. It doesn't matter. You can thrash it.
And it was like, that's a good girl, right there,
she will go there, yes, of course, and she's hilarious.
So yeah, all in the name of comedy, right, Wendy,
that's right, that's right.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
So tell me about your life. What's happening, what's happening
in your personal life. So this is your husband brother
that set us your podcast for you.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yes, and right now we're in New Orleans.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Oh what are you doing there?
Speaker 2 (06:52):
We have the tiniest condo in the French Quarter and
we come out here as often as we can. I
love this city. I cannot tell you what kind of
hold it has on me. Wow. But we hadn't been
able to get out here since right around New Year's
so we needed to come out and just check on things,
do some housekeeping, and of course we're gonna have fun
(07:14):
and try to hear some music and stuff. But we've
missed Marti Gral this year. We're missing jazz best we
missed we missed French Quarter beest. But doesn't matter. I
just love it here.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
I feel like there's always a festival happening in the
French Quarter always.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
And when we got here there were three parades. Three parades.
We couldn't our cab couldn't even get us to our house.
They had to drop us off at the park and
we just walked our luggage through the.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Through the preade.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Quarter. Yeah, pretty much became you should.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
Have immersed yourself in the parade, and so you got
to your house.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
I know I should have, just you know, disrobed.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Do you ever run into Amy Schumer down there?
Speaker 4 (07:51):
Because I was recently when I always did a show
down there, I went to her house in the French Quarter.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
I heard that she has a house, and no, I
I've never run into her.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
Oh you too, need to connect. You two would really
get on like a house on fire.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Really.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Yeah, I'm going to put you on a text with her.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Do you know if she has a big house, because
like I said, we've got a tiny little place because
I don't want to I don't want to worry about
a big house.
Speaker 4 (08:15):
No, no, no, no, no, it's not crazy or anything
like that. It's it's normal. It's normal size. She does
have a pool in the backyard, but it's not Wow. Yeah,
but it's not a crazy house. Amy's not crazy like that.
She's like, you know, she's pretty normal. Now, you have
a house in Spain, I do that is not.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
A normal Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
No, And I'm not going to pretend that it is.
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (08:36):
But do you you must go there a lot.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
I do go there. I go there in the summer.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
I we rent out that house a lot because you know,
it is so ridiculous, so in order to justify it,
I have to rent it out.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
But I do go there with it.
Speaker 4 (08:49):
I go there like I'll be there in June for
a week and hopefully I'll spend like the month of
September or October, whatever my schedule allows. I share that
house with a lot of my friends and family, and
it's the biggest It's one of the best gifts I've
ever given myself, as the house in Maorca.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Catherine's been there, gorgeous.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
It's kind of like a slice of I remember looking
at this house, and you know, places speak to you
as you're talking about New Orleans, right, which is such
a magical place everyone if you haven't been to New Orleans,
once you go, you understand there's just something there that
is not available anywhere else in any other city in
the United States. And I'm not sure about the world.
I mean, you know, maybe there's parts of Paris I
(09:29):
feel like the French Quarter or something, but which was
why what It's probably called the fucking Front Quarter, But
I just.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Pieced that together.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
As I was saying it, I'm like, oh, but you
know when you find something and you're like whll wha ooh,
this is like my childhood, like it came, It came
from my child my childhood memories. It evoked all of
these happy feelings, like the view of the water in
the setting that it is, and just the boats that
like the sailboats parked in the bay reminded me so
(10:00):
much of my childhood growing up on Martha's Vineyard and seeing, Wow,
it's not the same exact view, obviously, but it's it's
a very similar view. And I remember we would always
sit outside on our deck and my dad would every
time we would be outside, he'd be look at this view,
look at this view.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
So I've had that imprinted in my brain.
Speaker 4 (10:20):
And when I found my house in Myorca, it was dilapidated,
it was run down. I had to climb over some
balustrade and banister to get up there with a couple
of friends.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
And I remember turning around once we got in.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
Once we broke in and turned around and looked at
the view, I said, look at this view. I cannot
believe this house is abandoned. Like I'm going to get it.
And so that's how I feel every time I'm there, like,
look at this view and I could get lost in
that view and sit in front of that water for
days and not leave the house and be perfectly happy
(10:52):
as long as somebody's making me a frozen mango decory.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
It's really magical there, it is. You know, the older
you get, the less it takes to make you happy.
Sometimes it's just a nice view and a good drink,
I know. Yeah, yeah, So wait, your your house was abandoned.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
You you just found it. You didn't go through a
realtor or anything. You just it said for sale in
Spanish on it. But like it was, it was like
the roofs had caved in, like like the pictures were
still on the walls, the like you could go up
halfway up the staircase, but you couldn't go all the
way up to the top. So it needed just to
be refortified. There's not a lot of leeway they give
you in those small towns. You have to kind of
(11:28):
stick to the plan and just like refortify it, you
know what I mean. Like the even the banisters outside
on the terrace, they have to be in like you know,
my orcin code, And so that's even more beautiful I think,
so that you can't really you know, you can obviously
design it however.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
You want in the interior, but what you do on.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
The outside has to have the edifice has to match
the area. But yes, best gift I ever bought myself.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Amazing And you earned that, Thank you, You earned that.
You worked your ass off. So yes, absolutely deserve to
have a beautiful vacation home.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Well, you deserve the same. You absolutely deserve the same.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
You don't do you don't have any children, Wendy, Right, Nope, nope, no,
And how do.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
You feel about that decision?
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Every day? I pat myself on the back for sticking
to my guns.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Fucking high five, high fucking five right there.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
I mean, the best thing that the thing that people
never tell you about making the choice to never have children,
which nobody ever told me that was a choice either
I did anyone ever tell you it was a choice
or did you just inherently know or.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
I just always knew I didn't want them? Yes, but
I never said that because it seemed like something that
I was gonna have to do regardless. But I mean,
even when when I remember being little, being presented with
a baby doll and being like, oh no, that's so
much work. Yeah, I don't want to. I don't want
(12:54):
to fuss with this thing. I got stuff to do.
I've got to go make mud pies. And you know,
I never wanted them, but I liked barbies. I liked
you too. She's a career woman.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Me too.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
I like it's a career woman exactly.
Speaker 4 (13:07):
I had never contemplated this though, but you're absolutely right.
That's how I felt about like playing mommy and baby
and with little babies. Like I liked cabbage Patch kids
because they seemed like they had a little personality.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Yes, you know what I mean, Like they could change
their own diaper probably.
Speaker 4 (13:24):
Yeah, And they were like you could get one with
a dimple and green eyes and brown hair, like you
could kind of design them or they you know, like
pick out the ones you had freckles. But they seemed
like they had a little spunk. They weren't babies, you know.
I remember getting a pre MEI cabbage Patch. I'm like,
I don't want this. I want the one with the
long brown hair, the green eyes and the dimple.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Yeah, that's what I prease. They they're too they're too young.
You gotta be fussing with them all the time. Every
two hours. You gotta feed them. No, thank you want
nothing to do with that.
Speaker 4 (13:52):
The other thing, though, is what we need to tell
people who are listening to this, as we have so
many female listeners, and I'm sure many of them are on,
you know, thinking and deliberating about whether or not they
want to be a mother when you choose not to,
because people go, am I going to regret this decision?
I don't know anyone that hasn't had a child that
(14:14):
sits around and goes. I wish I had one. Anyone
that is child free goes. Thank god, I got through
that area of time, that period of time where I
could have been vulnerable to possibly dislodging a child. I
did not fall for fall prey to that, and I
made it through the tunnel that where I am no
(14:36):
longer able or viable to have one, like I feel
like whoop.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
I got through that test.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Yep, yep. And then I for a while I looked
at like Diane Keaton who adopted at fifty, and I think, well,
is that an option? No? It isn't.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
No, No, it isn't.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
And I love kids and I love that people want
to have kids. I don't judge that, but boy do
I feel judged when I tell people, yeah, that was
never in the plan, never wanted them. I've been told,
you know, oh, well, that's really selfish. It's really selfish
of you not to have them, and it's like, wild,
I don't think it is. I think it's selfish to
(15:14):
have them because you think you're supposed to and then
resent them, yeah, and turn them into an unfunny comedy
routine that a lot of people do. Oh yeah, I don't.
I think that's repugnant, but whatever.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
I think it's selfish to bring a child into this
world where you're not one hundred and fifty percent down
with the idea of what's going to happen, Like, if
there's any doubt at all, then it's not for you.
You have to yearn for something the way that we
would yearn for our careers, the way that we yearn
to be creative. You have to have that longing and
that yearning with regard to children, and if it's not there,
(15:49):
then I think that's your answer.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Yeah exactly. And I see people going through IVF and
doing all these things and it's like, well, I hope
it happens for you. You clearly want it so much much
but I have never wanted it. Well, and Greg and
I you know, we've been married twenty nine years, and
we would check in with each other. You good, you
don't want any great and we've always been on the
(16:12):
same page with it.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
Wow, twenty nine years, that's great. Yeah, and that's why
you're still together, probably because you never had to be.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
I think so too. I think so too.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
What are you going to do for your thirtieth anniversary?
Do you want to go to my house in MAJORCA.
I'm offering it up for you to celebrate your thirtieth
anniversary wedding anniversary.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Oh my god, that's amazing.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
It'll obviously be I'll obviously Pepper and some other couples
who are celebrating big milestone, so it can turn into
a big swingers party because.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
I can't mark up.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
I leave well enough alone.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
That would be amazing. And we'll look at the view
give us.
Speaker 4 (16:48):
Some serious nuggets of wisdoms or not so serious of
why you have a successful marriage for thirty years, like
what is the secret?
Speaker 1 (16:56):
What's your secret?
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Well, my secret, my quote unquote secret is before I
say anything critical of him, I look at myself and
find out that I'm not so delightful either, So I
try not to criticize him before I see what I'm
doing wrong, and I'm usually doing something terrible. I'm a
(17:19):
pain in the ass. He's very how are you?
Speaker 1 (17:21):
How are you a pain anything?
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Well, you know, listen, I'm an actor, I'm very needy,
I'm moody, I'm a perfectionist, and I have a short temper,
whereas Greg is nothing but pure sweetness, is very slow
to anger, and it is just the most supportive person
(17:42):
in the world. So if there's anything wrong in our marriage,
it's usually my fault and I'm willing to admit that.
I can admit it, and I think admitting it is
one thing. And also when he does something sweet, I
tell the whole wide world. So I brag on him
a lot because he is really like, I couldn't do
anything that I do if I didn't have that man.
(18:05):
He's the only one who ever encouraged me to go
into acting. The rest of my family and friends were
just like, oh, this is embarrassing, don't do that. Well,
he was right. Apparently it worked out. He was right.
But like, he's the one who wakes me up in
the morning. He gets up before me, he fixes my
breakfast every morning and sends me off to work. What
(18:30):
else can I ask for?
Speaker 5 (18:32):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (18:32):
It sounds like you chose very well for your personality.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
He's just my everything. Oh, I was just born to
love that man.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (18:42):
I love to hear that. That's so, it is very
heartwarming to hear. Did you make bad choices before you
met your husband? Like did you have a pattern of
dating other types of man?
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Yes? I did. I did, but I learned my lessons quickly.
Like if I do something terrible once, I will not
do it again. So like if I date a drug
addict once, that's gonna be the only one. You know,
I'm done. I see the signs. We're not going to
go through this again. You can't change people. That's not
my job. I got other things to do. So there's that.
(19:15):
And also like my parents and I love them and
they're still together. They are having their sixtieth wedding anniversary
next week. But they fought constantly. They got married very young,
and they fought constantly. For some people when they grow
up in that they seek that out without realizing it
(19:37):
because it feels normal. That never felt normal. And I
won't do it. I'm not going to live in a
house where there's constant chaos and arguing. So I knew
that's not something that I was gonna put up with.
Speaker 4 (19:51):
Yeah, a lot of people who call in have a
lot of trouble breaking that. Like, I'm a big proponent
of what you're saying, make your first time the last time,
you know, Like, I don't want to learn same lessons twice.
I'm busy. I want to move on and learn another lesson.
I want to, you know, I want to have new experiences.
But a lot of our people are like how you know,
Like they have such trouble letting go of toxic relationships,
(20:14):
and at our age, it's so easy to give the
advice of like this is just not for you. Like
the sooner you learn these lessons, the happier and freer
you become as a person, and then the things, the
things that you want and think that you need come
to you without so much effort being put out.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
No, you're one hundred percent right, And if you will
just do that kind of mental health cleaning, then you
make space for all that good stuff to come in.
But if you don't clean house, you're always blocking your blessings,
which I know is a very woo thing to say about.
Speaker 4 (20:47):
No, no, No, you're in the perfect place to say no.
But that's okay. I'm wu wu too. I mean, you
can't be you can't move to California, live here for
thirty years and not just fucking capitulate, you know what
I mean. I'm like, okay, I mean I'm two I'm
two easters away from celebrating that, you know. I mean,
that's and that's not wu woo. That's actually woo woo
to me now. Is that's what I consider wo wo
(21:09):
is like real religion. I'm like, okay, get away from
me with that. But what do you guys have to
talk about after thirty years together? Out of curiosity?
Speaker 5 (21:18):
Is that?
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Ever? God?
Speaker 4 (21:19):
Just anything just so natural that you it doesn't even
it's not an issue because I have trouble keeping a
conversation with somebody I've been dating for ten months.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Yeah. I think the way to get around that, though,
is that silence is okay sometimes too.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
You don't always have to be entertaining, No, you can
just sit there, it's fine. And then things do pop
up that you've never you know, stories you've never told before.
I don't know, it's just a it does seem like
you would run out of things to talk about, but
there are always things and I don't know how to
explain it, but it never gets boring.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
Back to Saint Dennis Medical, do you guys do a
lot of improv on that show?
Speaker 2 (21:59):
We do. We do. Our showrunner Eric Legend, he was
one of the creators of Superstore and American Auto and
stuff like that. He really does encourage us to get
it done the scripted way, and then we can improvise
that there's just something we have to do and they
usually leave it in. They've been pretty generous with us,
(22:20):
and I have to say working on that show is
such a pleasure because our showrunners love their families and
want to go home at night. So if they don't,
you know, for the listeners at home, if your showrunner
doesn't necessarily want to go home, you don't get to
go home either. So it's great because we're usually done
(22:41):
by six o'clock every night. Oh what a treat.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
That is ideal. Yeah, in this business, that is very unusual.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
I got the script for that show like four hours
after The Goldbergs was canceled, so I'm lucky it came
my way because it was in a during a year
where they just weren't making a lot of pilots at all.
I think they made four across network television. Yeah, this
one got picked up.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
I remember that year.
Speaker 4 (23:06):
I remember when they was like out of I mean
they used to make like twenty five pilots a year
and I don't pick up I don't know ten and
then all of a sudden, there was one year where
they made four fucking pilots and people were panicking about
the state of the industry.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
So you were on the goldbergs for ten years, was it?
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Ten years?
Speaker 4 (23:24):
And you played a mother and I read that you
didn't want to play a mother again.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Isn't it funny? Even playing a mother's exhausting.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Well, I mean I had, look I play, I got
to relive the eighties again. So I've been in the
eighties for twenty years, all right, which I've had enough.
All Right, I get it. The eighties were fun. I
loved playing a mom, and now I understand like kind
of what my mom went through at that time, but
I got that out of my system playing, you know,
(23:54):
the overbearing mama, and I loved it, but I didn't
want to do it again, not for a while anyway. Right,
And so when I read this, you know the character
of Joyce the administrator, the hospital administrator, she's such an
odd ball that I found her irresistible and was like, yes,
I want to do this.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
Yeah. I mean the role is so perfect for you,
and you're so perfect in it. Thank you, absolutely, I
love you. I think you're just so fucking funny, I mean.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
So talented than you, Chelsea.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (24:26):
Okay, we're going to take a break and we'll be
right back with Wendy McClendon covey and her brother husband.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
We'll be right back.
Speaker 4 (24:36):
And we're back with Wendy McLendon covey. Okay, Wendy, we're
going to take some callers. Okay, we're your goat advice here.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
So Catherine, what do we have today?
Speaker 3 (24:46):
Well, our first email comes from Andrea. The subject is
twenty six year old virgin Dear Chelsea, my daughter just
came to visit me for a couple of weeks. My
daughter is beautiful, thoughtful, and smart. She graduated college, went
to cooking school, and is now working successfully as a chef.
Whenever I ask the subject of dating is always changed
(25:06):
to another subject or answered with a one word answer.
She never has a boyfriend and never has and never
really even kissed someone. And I'm just at a loss
as to why. I asked her if she was asexual
and she said no, She's only getting older and I
don't want her to be alone and never see what
joy being in a relationship will.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
Bring, let alone sex. I don't know what to do
or say.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
Please help coming from her loving mom who only wants
the best for her, Andrea.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Is she gay?
Speaker 4 (25:33):
Is your daughter a lesbian? And do you have feelings
about her being lesbian that are preventing her from being
truthful to you about being a lesbian? Asexual? Isn't the
only question to be asking this?
Speaker 2 (25:47):
No, totally, totally, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (25:49):
Like, if she's asking she's a sexual, she's asked her
she's gay. She didn't mention that part, and she keeps
mentioning a man, not a person, right, right, So maybe
she's a lesbian, So maybe you should think about that
or I don't know. Do you know a lot of
asexual people, Wendy, I do know a couple.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
I know a couple, I know a couple and look,
she's twenty six. She could be just very picky. She
could be gay, that was my first thought as well.
Or she might have a secret life that you don't
know anything about sunds.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Like, that's prob. Or she could be a totally late bloomer.
Speaker 4 (26:22):
You know, some people don't really come into their own
until they're in their thirties, like sexually. First of all,
you don't even come into your own sexually until you're
like forties and fifties for a lot of women, So
that could be something too. But definitely, you pushing her
is not going to put her in a relationship that
has no impact whatsoever on anyone. I would leave the
situation alone for as long as possible until she comes
(26:43):
to you with some information that allows you to ask
further questions. But I would also put it out there
that if she is a lesbian, if she is a sexual,
if she does have some secret life that she doesn't
want you to know about, that you are okay with
that because you.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Have to be Yeah, yeah, I mean, and some people,
I think dating now is so intimidate weird.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
It's weird.
Speaker 4 (27:04):
It's like we went full tilt on the dating apps
and everyone went bonkers, and now there's like a contraction,
like people are so disgusted by dating apps and by
what's available out there that people are like, I'd rather
be alone.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
So I think we're in that phase of things.
Speaker 4 (27:20):
And plus, our younger generations are not as sexually active
as we were because there's so much porn and everything,
so they actually don't need to get it, you know,
So there's this possibility that she's a sexual.
Speaker 6 (27:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (27:33):
Also just leave her alone, Like, there's nothing that's sexy
about talking to your mother about sex. Yeah, that's not
going to probe her. I mean, that's not going to
push her. Sorry to say probe. That's not trying to
true into anything. So back off, mom, Back off.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Our first caller today is Beth. She is thirty.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
Dear Chelsea, I've been with my partner for almost seven years.
I'm thirty and he's fifty two. I'm biologically child free. However,
last summer, my partner's teenage son moved in with us
full time from the West Coast to the southeast because
he was expelled from his school and was having various
behavioral challenges. The transition was extremely challenging for me personally,
as someone who has no desire to have kids, so
(28:15):
much so that I got my tubes removed earlier this year.
But I also did it for our relationship, as my
partner and I have different ideas of parenting. At times,
I do think his son is a good person at heart,
but his communication is regularly disrespectful and loud. He doesn't
ever take accountability, which is super triggering for me. My
partner and I have been in couple's therapy for co parenting,
which has been helpful for the relationship, but I still
(28:37):
find myself frustrated with his son's behavior. I absolutely loved
your book and how you wrote about your relationship with POOPSI, Whoopsie,
and Oopsie. It really touched me, and I admire how
you built a relationship with them and became such an
influence in their life. So my question is this, when
I'm so frustrated with my partner's son's behavior, how do
I get over my frustration and irritability? What do you
(28:58):
think I can or should do to build a us
relationship with him. I've been in his life since he
was seven. We've gone on vacations together, we play video games,
sometimes I drive in places. Do his laundry, occasionally cook
family dinner for the three of us nightly, among other things.
But I'm still struggling with the relationship dynamic I have
with his son. Please help me be a better step mom.
I'd like to have what you're having.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Love you so much, Beth, Hi, Beth, Hi, Chelsea.
Speaker 4 (29:22):
Hi, this is Wendy McClendon Covey, our special guest today.
Speaker 6 (29:25):
Hi.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Hi, Bed Yeah, nice, see too.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
That's nice that you're I mean, first of all, it's
very nice that you're trying so hard and that you
want to try hard, you know, and that is a
difficult situation.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
How old is he again?
Speaker 5 (29:38):
He is fifteen.
Speaker 7 (29:40):
Okay, it was hard in the beginning when he first came,
I was kind of on the fence because it was
so hard because I'm the oldest of seven kids. So
that was also that's like just a component of life.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Like you've done your mothering.
Speaker 5 (29:56):
Yeah, it's was hard, kind of is.
Speaker 7 (30:00):
But now I'm more in those spirit of like, Okay,
I'm trying to give this a try and just fully
embrace it. And when I get so irritable and frustrated,
like this is kind of also been a hard week,
it makes me I don't want to say, not want
to try, but it makes me feel just overwhelmed.
Speaker 4 (30:20):
And is he how like what level of disrespect does
he exhibit to you towards you.
Speaker 7 (30:25):
So he'll get I mean, he's a teenager, so I
know teenagers have attitudes, but he'll have an attitude or
a whole talk back. He also doesn't know when enough
is enough or like when to stop. So like, for example,
this weekend, we went to the beach and you know,
hoarsing around. We had fun, and then it's like, okay,
we're done. But all throughout the rest of the day
he kept antagonizing and just hitting me. And then I
(30:48):
was laying in bed Saturday night with my partner and
he comes in and like hits me on the head,
like thinking he's joking, and I'm like, I'm trying.
Speaker 5 (30:55):
To go to sleep enough. So it's just also just
like not knowing when enough is enough.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
Uh.
Speaker 5 (31:02):
And I'm also someone that stays very calm.
Speaker 7 (31:05):
I don't like yelling, whereas my partner, you know, they'll
get in arguments and yell, and so when I say
something to him or point out, you know, hey, your
dad is trying to tell you x Y z he
then will shut down or who'll become nasty back towards me.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
Mm hmm. Sounds like a typical teenager.
Speaker 7 (31:26):
Yeah, And sometimes I see a lot of myself in him,
Like when I was a teenager, I was also very
like headstrong, so I relate to him on some levels.
We're also both libras, if that means anything to you, but.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
I'm a lilybra as well.
Speaker 4 (31:42):
I go, yeah, let's go great, because I I don't
get it.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
I don't know what that means.
Speaker 5 (31:49):
Just balance and yeah, wanting balance and stuff, but right right.
Speaker 7 (31:54):
Yeah, it's just I think it's been hard also because
I don't want kids for a very very you know,
long list of reasons. So yeah, I'm just not sure
what to do in terms of how to not be.
Speaker 5 (32:10):
So triggered and frustrated.
Speaker 7 (32:11):
Because I'm also in my own recovery for mental health,
so personal responsibility and accountability to me means a lot,
and it's very, very frustrating to try to build awareness
around him of like how to take accountability like he's getting.
He gets in arguments with teachers a lot, and it's
always the other person's fault, So I think that's that's
hard for me.
Speaker 4 (32:31):
Too, Yeah, that's annoying well, and but also again he's
fifteen years old, so his brain isn't fully formed yet, right,
and it's not going to be for unfortunately for another
ten years because he's a man. So that's like what
twenty five twenty six was when their brain's fully formed?
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Is that right?
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Yep?
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Or is it later?
Speaker 3 (32:49):
I want to say, like twenty five to twenty is
when you're like frontal lobe is done cooking.
Speaker 4 (32:54):
What I've learned when I took my parenting classes for poopsie,
woopsie and oopsie, what I've learned is like you know,
when they're they're combative, it's different with a boy. So well,
when they are combative, it's like you have to be
in a joking mood with them, Like you can't meet
their anger with anger, like your husband yelling at him
when in him yelling like that doesn't do anything. That
(33:14):
just keeps the cycle going and it's like a storm
in the sky that's just moving around in different areas.
But when you meet their anger with like, yeah, I
hear you. You sound pissed off. You must be pissed. Yeah,
you sound really pissed off, not validating his feelings, but
acknowledging how he feels, you know what I mean, not
saying you're right and that your feeling is justified by like, wow,
(33:38):
you do seem really pissed off, you know, let me
give you some space, or like, okay, well, I'll be
over here when you calm down, you know, when you
want to talk about it. If you want to talk
about it, I'm here. You don't have to whatever. Like
you just kind of throw it back at them in
the moment that they're in, so that you're not ignoring
their feelings and it actually makes you feel better because
(33:59):
you're What we tend to do, I think when we're
dealing with other people's children is take things so personally
and it's not personal. Like they're going through puberty. They
have all these hormones raging through their bodies. Their temper
is not their own, their emotions are not their own.
You know, it's a period in their life where they're
just uncontrolled. It doesn't happen as badly with every teenager,
(34:21):
but it happens a lot and it sounds like that's
what's happening with him, you know, And in the moments
of calm is when you can kind of point things out.
And since you're a stepmom, it's a very specific dance
of being like, you know, you want to be like
a cool person in their life that they can come to.
You want to like open up that avenue and be like, listen,
(34:42):
I know this is frustrating, but like, let when you
want to talk about it, if you ever do want
to talk about it, I'm here. I'm always here for you,
you know, and not to like impose yourself on them,
but to make sure. And it sounds like you're doing
all those things. You're spending time with him, You're cooking
dinners every night, do all of the things that put
the marbles in the jar so that he knows he
(35:04):
has an ally and someone he can rely on. And
like the instance of him coming in and smacking you
on the head in the bedroom when you're done playing,
like how did you react in that moment?
Speaker 7 (35:14):
I just turned over slowly and looked at him, and
I was like really, like just I didn't yell at
him or it was like what did I doing?
Speaker 5 (35:23):
Why did you?
Speaker 7 (35:23):
I just acknowledged maybe this isn't the time and place,
like it's nine o'clock at night, we had fun at
the beach earlier, but you know, and his dad has
noticed the same thing, Like they'll rough house and they'll
play around, but then it's still the same of like
he doesn't know when to stop, and if we try to,
I don't want to say, he gets stern, but like
(35:45):
more serious of like okay, hey, it's time to stop.
Then that triggers him and he gets upset and then
is like, oh, you guys are no fun.
Speaker 5 (35:52):
Or you know, why do you always have a problem, And.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
It's like, no, it's just because he's embarrassed.
Speaker 4 (35:57):
He's embarrassed to get like so how did you react
when you did that, when you turned over and you
gave him that look, did he get the message?
Speaker 5 (36:03):
He just walked out great.
Speaker 4 (36:05):
Great, But that's the result you want, like end of that,
you know what I mean, without an argument?
Speaker 1 (36:12):
He got the message.
Speaker 4 (36:13):
So I think you're doing a good job with the
way you're handling it, by not losing your temper, by
being available when they need you.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
And you know, when he.
Speaker 4 (36:20):
Gets in fights with his teachers repetitively, it's not about like, oh,
you know, what's your part in this?
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Because he's not there yet. He's only fifteen years old.
But it's just acknowledging.
Speaker 4 (36:31):
Yeah, that must be really tough, without laying blame on
either person, him or the teacher. Be sure that you're
not doing that, you know, which it doesn't sound like
you are. But by just being available, available for the
good moods, for the bad moods, being around there, don't
allow yourself to be a punching bag. But that doesn't
warrant fight either. You can just say I'm sorry, I'm
not interested in this right now. Like you're kind of
(36:53):
being aggressive, that's fine, you're in a mood. I'm going
to go over there, or I'm going to go to
my room, and then when you're ready to talk, come
get me. I'm always here that kind of attitude. Do
you get what I'm saying?
Speaker 5 (37:03):
Yeah, yeah, I do that that makes sense.
Speaker 7 (37:06):
And I think because it's it's like I want to
be a support for him, which I think I am, but.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
I like it sounds like you definitely are.
Speaker 6 (37:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (37:14):
I try.
Speaker 7 (37:16):
And I've known him since, like I said, I you seven,
and you know, we've had instances where Who'll just come
and talk to me and start telling me stuff about
girls or whatever is going on in school and we've
had some good conversations like why he thinks he lies
and why he thinks he does and thinks he does.
And I've noticed that if he is not being yelled at,
(37:36):
he is also more inclined to be calm, which is,
you know, the ideal.
Speaker 4 (37:42):
Well, of course, I mean everyone's going to be more
common they're not being yelled at. Yeah, what do you think, Wendy.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
Well, first question, are they in therapy together?
Speaker 7 (37:54):
He was in anger management classes when he lived back
out on the West Coast.
Speaker 5 (37:59):
And I'm a big proponent for therapy. I wish he
would do it, that his dad would kind of push
to do it. He thinks he doesn't need it, Okay, Well,
two of.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
Them need to be in therapy together.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
I think Yeah, I think so too. I think that's
a great idea.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
And I'm I am a little concerned that you have
been adamant about how you don't want kids, but you
are taking on this mother role. I don't know that
that just kind of stuck out to me, like hmm,
I don't know, Beth.
Speaker 4 (38:31):
I think, at the very minimum, the least that your
husband can do in exchange for you taking on this
role that you did not seek out for yourself would
be to mandate that there is a you know, therapy
like that, that he goes to therapy with his son,
or that his son go alone. He's the father, the
(38:52):
kid is fifteen. He doesn't really have a choice.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
It doesn't matter that a.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
Fifteen year old doesn't think they need therapy.
Speaker 4 (38:59):
That's just in valle you know, like, and that has
to be on him, and you know what I mean,
that has nothing to do with you. It can't be
coming from you. It has to be coming from his father.
And that could be an easy requirement. He wasn't living
with you guys, and he was going to anger managements.
That's a sign that he should be continuing in the
direction of therapy in some capacity for sure.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
Yeah. And you shouldn't be the only one doing all
the inner work. You know, you're in recovery. You said
so that that can be very triggering. And I feel
like that's the biggest piece of the puzzle is the
two of them need to work on this together.
Speaker 4 (39:35):
So can you talk to your husband about that? Do
you feel comfortable having that conversation?
Speaker 5 (39:39):
Yeah, for sure, And I think you might be open
to it.
Speaker 7 (39:41):
I hadn't thought about that before of both of them
going together, because like my partner, we were together in therapy,
which we've only what we've been doing it for about
three months now, which it's it's been helpful, but he's
admitted and knows he parents from a place of guilt
of like dad guilt.
Speaker 5 (39:56):
But that's that's in stuff he needs to deal with.
Speaker 6 (40:00):
Not me.
Speaker 4 (40:01):
Yeah, and and and he should and that kid should
just be going to therapy on his own anyway. You know,
it sounds like he's been uprooted and moved around, like
he needs to go to therapy. You don't just go
to anger management classes. And then that's the end of
the story. You know, there's got to be another transition
and another phase out and it's only going to be helpful.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
But that has to come from your husband.
Speaker 4 (40:21):
So why don't you have that conversation with your husband
and be like, listen, this is I'm putting a lot
of effort here, you know. And also the self work
that you're talking about, like you know, letting him trie
like you're doing a great job. So patch yourself on
the back for that. This kid's not going to unmoor you.
He's not gonna you know, you're think of yourself as
a tree. You're a tree and there are leaves and
(40:42):
there are branches that might wave around through the wind
and storms, but you were firmly planted in the ground.
You've done your work, You're in recovery, and this is
just another way that you can like spread your love around,
you know, via him, with with all of the components
in play, and that being one of the major components
being therapy.
Speaker 5 (41:03):
Thank you.
Speaker 7 (41:03):
I do really appreciate that because I've really been trying
and yeah, on the start, it was a debate for me,
and inner debate of do I stay or do I
go because of just the trauma I've been through my life,
you know, being the seven and just mothering and parenting
is just I like my time being my time. I
like to have my freedom, and I mean I still
(41:27):
kind of have that. It was a it was a
real adjustment in the beginning last fall.
Speaker 1 (41:31):
I bet, I bet.
Speaker 3 (41:32):
I think one way to get a little bit of
time back is he's fifteen. He can do his own laundry.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
Let's get that off your plate.
Speaker 4 (41:38):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't need to be cleaning
semen out of socks. That's that's yeah, below your pay grade.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
Okay, Beth, will you check in with us and let
us know.
Speaker 1 (41:48):
How it goes?
Speaker 5 (41:49):
Yes, definitely, thank you. I just want to say thank
you so much.
Speaker 7 (41:52):
And Chelsea, I look up to you so much and
value your authenticity like I just, I really am so
grateful for this opportunity and I just I yeah, I
just You're an inspiration to me.
Speaker 5 (42:02):
So thank you.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
I love it. Thank you so much. Thank you you.
Speaker 2 (42:06):
As well, Hi beg. All right, well let's take a
quick break and we can come back with our caller.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
Okay, well, take a quick break, we'll be right back.
Speaker 4 (42:14):
Please tag me for the Special because I get so
many tags about my books, but I'm not getting as
many about my special and my special is the newest
thing out, so I want to make sure all my
Ardent fans are watching it and tagging me and I'll
repost you. And yes, it's called the Feeling, And we're
back with Wendy McLendon covey. How I'm alifluous. It just
(42:36):
rolls right off, just.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
Roll, you know what.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
Yeah, Wendy McLendon covey.
Speaker 3 (42:41):
Yes, Well, our last caller today is Alexandra. She is
thirty two. She says, Dear Chelsea, I am in a
very awkward situation with my neighbor. Me and my neighbor
became friends this past year over our dogs. Becoming friends,
we started so annoying. We started going on dog walks
together and hanging out occasionally, having drinks and things like that.
(43:03):
We never had any issues until she slept with my
best friend Jack. When I found out they were texting,
I told them both they shouldn't sleep with each other
because it's going to make things very weird between all
of us, and boy did it. Essentially, they ended up
sleeping together, both agreeing that it was a one night stand,
and after he didn't message her because it was a
one night stand, she started acting really weird. She started
(43:24):
to take her feelings out on me on our dog walks,
even though I asked not to be involved. Two times
she asked me if I wanted to go for a walk,
and the walk was perfectly fine, until out of nowhere
she corners me and says things like, I feel like
I'm just your dog walking friend and we never hang
out together on the weekends. She started to get really
possessive over me, to the point where I had some
friends over for my birthday with my friend Jack included,
(43:46):
and she got really weird because she wasn't invited. I
decided that I needed to tell her she can't treat
me like shit like this before we go out, so
I replied to a text with the following, I wanted
to say this before we go out to walk again.
Since you and Jack slept together, you've taken some of
your feelings out on me, and I don't want another
awkward walk. Us being dog friends was never a problem
before you guys slept together, and I don't feel like
(44:07):
I should have to explain myself for having close friends
over for a party for you. Ntex Yeah, I'm cool
if you are. I never got a response, and this
was a little while ago. I feel we're both actively
avoiding each other, Chelsea, what do I do? Our windows
literally face each other. Alexandra Well, Hi, Hi, Alexandra Well,
good text, by the way, good text.
Speaker 4 (44:29):
I mean, I don't know, you know, she has to
get over that. I don't know that there's anything you
can do other than like time will pass. But it's
gonna be a problem because Jack is your best friend,
so he's going to be resurfacing right.
Speaker 6 (44:43):
Yeah, to always a little bit of timeless pass now,
but we've bumped into each other and like not said
a word because I'm like, I'm not going to back down,
and she probably feels the same. And yeah, they I
don't think they've spoken to each other either. They've probably
I think they said hi in passing, but I just
been like, no, like you can't just ghost me like that. Yeah,
(45:04):
I feel like it's really a strange behavior. But I'm
also not backing down.
Speaker 4 (45:09):
Well, but also who I mean, like really, who gives
a shit about her?
Speaker 1 (45:13):
And you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (45:15):
You and your dogs, like like your dog has can
you can go for a walk without her?
Speaker 6 (45:19):
You don't.
Speaker 4 (45:20):
It's not like a relationship that is built, like you
have this deep, deep friendship like you were dog walking buddies.
So until she can actually get her shit together and
get over it, it was one night stand and that
take that face value people say all the time and
to fine with that, and then they're not fine with it,
and it's so annoying.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
It's like you knew what.
Speaker 4 (45:38):
This was, so I wouldn't worry about extending an olive
branch or anything. You know, after like a few months
go by you can like if you want to drop
a bottle of wine at our front door and be like,
are you ready to just start walking our dogs again
or do you need more time?
Speaker 2 (45:53):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (45:53):
You know what I mean, Like you could do something
cute like that if you want to, but it sounds
like you don't want to. And by the way, who cares, Like, yes,
your windows face each other, but you know this is
why you don't become friends with your neighbors.
Speaker 5 (46:07):
Oh my god, I definitely learned my lesson.
Speaker 6 (46:10):
We had some new neighbors moving a couple days ago,
and now I was just like hello, and also and yeah,
you're so right. I don't really I've really stopped caring
about being friends. I think in the beginning it was
just really weird because our windows literally face each other,
and like her front door is right there, and I'll
see her leave and she'll see me leave, and it's
(46:33):
just like, yeah, I don't care, but our dogs will
just be like oh my god, you again and like
my friend like and then I'm just like, no, you
can't be friends anymore. This friendship's over. Yeah, And we
like bumped into each other out on a dog walk
and like nobody else was there. It was really weird.
It was like six in the morning, and like our
(46:53):
dogs were like playing with each other and we just
didn't say a word to each other.
Speaker 2 (46:56):
And I was just like, this is so weird.
Speaker 6 (46:58):
But yeah, I don't really want to be her friend,
if I'm honest with you, because clearly her friendships you
have to have like terms and conditions and I'm not
really do exactly.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
And it's annoying, right, Wendy, don't you agree?
Speaker 2 (47:11):
Like who I mean, it's hard when the dog children
get involved, I know, But the only thing you can do, Yeah,
the only sane thing to do is ignore the whole situation. Yeah,
she's an adult who made an adult decision, and this
does not have to fall on those shoulders.
Speaker 4 (47:26):
She's an adult who made an adult decision and then
acted like is acting like a child. So and you
didn't do anything wrong except for warn them not to
do it because of this outcome and now you're sitting here.
Speaker 1 (47:37):
You didn't do anything to her.
Speaker 6 (47:40):
No, And I even tried, like before they when they
were talking about sleeping with each other, I had her
around and I did like the whole girl coaching, and
I was just like, I'm going to look after you here,
and I'm going to tell you not to do it
or please not to do it, because like and try
to say it in a nice way, like he is
my best friend and it wasn't like you're not, but
(48:01):
also like it just is going to get weird and
it's like, oh, but it isn't a little bit of fun, okay,
And I'm just like and I knew he just wanted
to one nice son anyway, and you made it perfectly clear.
And then I just had a feeling something crazy was
going to happen. And then they did it anyway, and
I was just like, look, I've warned you, and I
tried to be like the good girlfriend and you didn't listen,
and now you're just being really strange.
Speaker 3 (48:23):
So yeah, I feel like you don't have to be
friends with her, but just to like, you know, you've
said to her, hey, we're cool, and I would just
act as such like you are going to run into
her when you do like hey, so and so and like.
Speaker 4 (48:36):
And she's were that's on her, Like I you don't
have to ingest that, you know what I mean? You be,
you do, you do your thing. You don't have to
be silent when you see you can say how are
you didn't know what?
Speaker 1 (48:46):
Or did you read this or I don't know whatever.
Speaker 4 (48:48):
You guys would normally talk about or talk about something
related to the dogs. But like, if she's acting strange,
then that's on her. You haven't done anything, yeah yeah, yeah,
and you warned her I.
Speaker 6 (49:01):
Did.
Speaker 2 (49:02):
You are absolved from any responsibility.
Speaker 6 (49:07):
That's I think why I'm more mad than like sad.
I just got really angry because I was just like
I tried to do the right thing by you, and
really I really didn't need to clearly didn't need to
like try and look after you.
Speaker 1 (49:21):
So thanks, Okay, Well problem solved. You need to move.
Speaker 5 (49:30):
I keep hoping she will.
Speaker 1 (49:33):
I hope she does too.
Speaker 6 (49:35):
Yeah, I'm sure she will, all right.
Speaker 2 (49:37):
Thanks for being out in Alexandra.
Speaker 6 (49:40):
Thank you so much, thank you bye bye.
Speaker 4 (49:45):
That this reminds me of an expression from like one
of my second grade teachers who used to say a
word to the wise. Who did she say a word
to the wise? Should be sufficient? That reminded me The
story is like, don't talk to your neighbors. You know
you can be you can be neighborly, but don't get
involved with them.
Speaker 2 (50:04):
Well, since since I'm in New Orleans, I do have
a folk magic sure or for sketchy neighbors.
Speaker 6 (50:12):
What is it?
Speaker 2 (50:13):
And that is you focus a mirror at their house
and all their bad energy gets reflected back to them.
Oh so, you know, depends on how bad they are,
how sketchy they really are, the you know, whatever happens
as a result. But we did that with some of
our neighbors and they moved.
Speaker 1 (50:33):
Well.
Speaker 4 (50:33):
Great, Wendy, wait to wait for the guests to be
off of the show to tell us that, especially when
they have two windows fucking facing each other.
Speaker 2 (50:41):
Well, she's gonna listen to this podcast. Error doesn't have
to be a big one.
Speaker 4 (50:50):
Yeah, exactly, and then you know that's a great that's great.
Speaker 2 (50:53):
I would try it, try it. Yeah, that can happen.
Speaker 1 (50:58):
Okay, Wendy, thank you so much for being on the
podcast today.
Speaker 2 (51:02):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 4 (51:03):
And when does this have St. Dennis Medical Season two start?
Speaker 2 (51:06):
You know, we start back at work in June, but
I'm assuming the fall we will be back on NBC.
So awesome.
Speaker 4 (51:15):
Yeah, and is it Peacock or is it NBC? It's
NBC the first run and then the next day on Peacock.
Speaker 1 (51:21):
Okay, so everybody can watch Saint Dennis Medical on.
Speaker 4 (51:23):
NBC or Peacock and you can catch up on Peacock
and you can catch up on Peacock. Watch it first
and then catch up on it later.
Speaker 2 (51:31):
Exactly.
Speaker 4 (51:32):
Thank you so much for being here, love, Thanks for
having speaking with you.
Speaker 1 (51:36):
All right, have a great day in New Orleans.
Speaker 2 (51:39):
Thank you. Okay, have a good one as well. Talk
to you soon.
Speaker 1 (51:42):
Bye. Okay.
Speaker 4 (51:44):
My remaining dates for Vegas, there are remaining dates for
this year. Summertime is coming and I will be in
Vegas at the Cosmo doing my residency on July fifth.
We will be the next date that I'm there, July fifth,
August thirtieth, and then November one and twenty ninth. November
(52:05):
one and November twenty ninth, I will be in Las
Vegas at the Cosmo performing Inside Myself at the Chelsea.
Speaker 1 (52:13):
It's called Chelsea at the Chelsea for a reason. Okay,
thank you.
Speaker 3 (52:18):
Do you want advice from Chelsea? Right into Dear Chelsea
podcast at gmail dot com. Find full video episodes of
Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea pod.
Speaker 2 (52:27):
Dear Chelsea is edited
Speaker 3 (52:29):
And engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law, and
be sure to check out our merch at chelseahandler dot
com
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