Is OnlyFans Cheating? with Anna Roisman

Comic and host of the Big Wigs podcast Anna Roisman is in with Chelsea this week to chat about flying commercial dressed as Kris Jenner, why D&D almost destroyed her relationship, and how delusion can bring you the life of your dreams.  Then: A reality show producer struggles with a sabbatical.  A cheating co-worker gets found out. And a girlfriend wonders if she should overlook her honey’s 0nlyFans habit.

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Check out Anna’s podcast Big Wigs here!

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Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail]

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Executive Producer Catherine Law

Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert

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The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, Catherine. Hi, Chelsea.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
Hi, he just had beautiful three days of skiing love Doug.

Speaker 1 (00:07):
Doug is in doggy daycare.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
My friend told me about this dog walker and she's like, oh, yeah,
she's great. I send my dog once a week. And
so the dog walker came over to my house and I'm.

Speaker 1 (00:17):
Like, how many days are possible? She's like, we do
it seven days a week.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
I'm like, I'll take five. He needs a lot of
fucking exercise, this dog. And he is such a moose.
He's like my sister said, it's a cross.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
Between a gorilla and I. I was a lion.

Speaker 3 (00:33):
I've got a lions, like a full lions man.

Speaker 1 (00:35):
I know, he's so funny looking. Oh my god. So
now I'm training him. I am training him.

Speaker 2 (00:41):
I have a parenting coach, I have a dog walker,
and I'm also taking parenting classes with my friend for
her kids.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
It takes a village, Chelsea. So I am literally deep in.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
I don't know what has happened in my life, but
I'm learning a lot and a lot of really good
stuff about parenting in case I ever have to parent
a vagabond, which apparently I do.

Speaker 3 (01:02):
Yeah, I mean, the thing is a tired dog is
a good dog, so getting him in playdates and everything,
that's perfect.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's very friendly.

Speaker 2 (01:11):
She said, he's very She sent me a text to
dog Walker and she said he is one of the
most compassionate, compassionate, caring dogs I've ever met. And I'm like,
what a funny thing to say about a dog compassionate?
How did he just demonstrate that compassion.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
Whose soul is in him? He must be an old
time I don't know. Maybe it's my mom. She's got No,
it's definitely not my mom. She wouldn't be like that.

Speaker 2 (01:33):
But anyway, it's pretty cute and Bertice is really perking up.
She tries to play with him and then she like
barks at him, and it's pretty cute.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
They have a nice relationship and it'll keep changing too.

Speaker 3 (01:43):
It's like they say, like the first three days the
dog is like adjusting. The first three weeks, they're like
getting to know whoever else is in the house. In
the first three months, like after three months they're sort
of like in the home. And you know, even today,
like Mimsy and Wendell are like snuggling and they just
started doing that.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
This week and it's just lovely. That is cute.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
Yeah, so yeah, I had a full house this weekend
in Whistler. I had about nine people sleeping out my house,
and my house doesn't really fit nine people, so it
was close quarters and fun and a lot of my
friends I have just kid It's like a daycare here.
There's just kids running through my house all the time.
It's so funny.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
But you love a.

Speaker 3 (02:22):
Teenager, and you know what, teenagers I think love you too,
because you're not afraid to talk about this stuff like
their parents won't talk about with them anyway.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
So I have shows this weekend, That's what I'm doing.
I have a show tonight in Saskatoon, so I'm heading
out soon. And then I have a show tomorrow night
in Winnipeg, Canada. And then we added another Sydney show,
we added another Vancouver show Awesome, and we're adding a
bunch of shows.

Speaker 1 (02:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:48):
Well, Los Angeles has floated away over the last several days.

Speaker 1 (02:53):
That's what's happening over here. Was it really bad?

Speaker 3 (02:56):
The river at the La River is like a monster.
It's crazy, and apparently a lot of parts in the
valley are totally flooded.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
Oh god, I don't know it. It would rain for
a week last week, so there was no skiing here.
Now it's sunny, but it's like an ad for climate change.
The mountain it's so bear and you're like, I mean,
you can ski, but it's like it's not what it's
supposed to be.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
So yeah, it's a bummer. Anyway.

Speaker 2 (03:18):
We have a very funny guest on the show today.
She's a comedian. She's a hot mess. I met her
on Instagram as I meet all my young lovers, and
you should follow her because she does a really good
impersonation of Chris Jenner. That's how I first found her.
But she does a lot of impersonations. Her name is
Anna Roysman. Hi, Anna, Hi, Where are you Anna?

Speaker 4 (03:39):
I'm in New York.

Speaker 1 (03:41):
Oh is this where you hail from New York?

Speaker 5 (03:43):
I hail from Philadelphia, but yeah, I'm in New York mostly.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
Right now, Catherine, I don't know if you're familiar with
Anna and in the way that I am, but I
found her. I discovered her because she does these ridiculous
impersonations of the Kardashians. Ye, well, of Chris Well, Chris
really Jenna, right, is the one that from the Kardashians
do you do all of them or do you just Chris.

Speaker 5 (04:04):
I just do Chris. I could probably do the other ones.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
But yeah, well you do a lot of you do
Steve from Sex and the City do a lot of
other impersonations too. But what caught my eye was the
Chris jenneral one because I forwarded it to Chris Jenner.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
I was like, have you seen this fucking girl? You
look like an asshole?

Speaker 4 (04:19):
I died.

Speaker 5 (04:20):
I know, I flew across the country as her, which
was psychotic.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
That's really really funny. But you do a great impersonation.
And I like any impersonations of all the because there's
so many TikTok Instagram impersonations of all the Kardashians and
some are obviously cream of the crop.

Speaker 1 (04:35):
So kudos to you, Anna, And I know you're a comedian.
I saw you at my one of my shows at
the Beacond.

Speaker 4 (04:40):
We met there, yes, which was so fun. I was
a killer show.

Speaker 1 (04:44):
Ah, thank you.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
So you're a comic and I'm just learning about you
and I want to learn more about you.

Speaker 4 (04:49):
Thanks.

Speaker 5 (04:50):
First of all, I'm so honored to be on here,
and I just have to say when you shared that
Chris Jenner video.

Speaker 4 (04:55):
Last year, I.

Speaker 5 (04:56):
Was in like my darkest time ever and I literally
said to my Boyfri and I'm gonna I'm gonna just
i wanna go to the airport as Chris.

Speaker 4 (05:02):
Like she would never fly a commercial. This will be
so funny.

Speaker 5 (05:05):
And then I obviously thought I'd do it for like
twenty minutes, and I stayed in it the whole flight.
And then you shared it and I was like it
was worth it.

Speaker 4 (05:11):
He wanted to kill me. We're like on the plane
and I'm wigged and I'm like, excuse me, I have to.

Speaker 5 (05:15):
Go to the bathroom. Like I'm like walking down the aisles.
And when you shared it, I was like I cried.
I was just like, oh my god. So many people
were so nice to me. They were like, I don't
know you did this, blah blah blah.

Speaker 4 (05:25):
So thank you. You really picked me up at a
bad time.

Speaker 2 (05:27):
Oh well, I'm happy to listen. Every time we're in
a dark place. This has happened to me so many
times in my life. A stranger literally will come out
of the fucking sky and tell you how much you
mean to them, or do something that lifts you up.
That is like the way the world works like the
universe has your back. Like just when you think you're
not you don't have it anymore, someone will say you
changed my life, or you did this or did do that.

(05:49):
So you always have to pay attention to those things.
That's something I used to think was corny, and now
as an older woman in the midst in the mid
sunset of my life, I love all the signs that
you get that are reminders of like you're on the
right track. Everything is only temporary. When you're going through
a bad phase. That's only a bad phase. It doesn't
have to be permanent, and it won't be permanent whether

(06:10):
you want.

Speaker 1 (06:10):
It to be or not.

Speaker 4 (06:11):
Yeah, it's so true.

Speaker 5 (06:12):
Do you like when people come up to you out
of the blue and they're like, you know, when you're
out to dinner or something and they stop you.

Speaker 1 (06:18):
I mean, I don't mind.

Speaker 2 (06:19):
I don't really care as long as people don't ask
me to get up when I'm like seated at a
dinner table like I once had a guy, like I've
had many guys do this, go come over here. It's
like like I'm a prostitute or something. I mean, that's
not even okay for a prostitute.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
Really.

Speaker 2 (06:32):
It's it's like, why would I get up for my
dinner with my fucking family when I'm spending to go
take a.

Speaker 1 (06:38):
What do you think I work for you? It's just
so stupid.

Speaker 2 (06:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:42):
The other thing is when people try to take pictures
in bathrooms.

Speaker 2 (06:44):
I try to deter people from that behavior, but I
do find that it's always.

Speaker 1 (06:48):
A nice message.

Speaker 2 (06:49):
When you're feeling down or something bummed you out, or
you heard something you didn't like about yourself, there's always
a reinforcement right around the corner to validate you and
tell you like you are loved. That is happening all
the time in my life right now, so I'm very
attuned to it. So I would advise you to pay
attention to those things too.

Speaker 4 (07:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (07:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (07:08):
I had a guy who once messaged me on Instagram
after I'd be like, I just saw you walking around
New York and I didn't say hi because you were
much shorter than I thought you'd be.

Speaker 2 (07:17):
I was like, Okay, one of the dumbest things people
say to you, you're so small everyone, You're so small
in person.

Speaker 1 (07:24):
I'm like, I'm sorry that that thank you.

Speaker 2 (07:26):
I think I think thank you, or you're so much prettier.
You're so much prettier in person.

Speaker 1 (07:31):
I love that one. And you're like, Akay, how.

Speaker 4 (07:34):
Big and ugly was I online for you? On a screen?

Speaker 1 (07:37):
For you?

Speaker 7 (07:37):
I know? I know?

Speaker 1 (07:39):
So what's your story? Anna? Tell me?

Speaker 2 (07:41):
Like how you got into comedy and like what you
want to do and where you're headed?

Speaker 4 (07:46):
I mean, how I got into comedy. It's funny.

Speaker 5 (07:48):
I grew up thinking i'd be a very serious Broadway actress, like.

Speaker 2 (07:52):
Will you look like you could be a veterinarian a doctor?
Like you look like a more serious person than you are.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
Thank you.

Speaker 5 (07:59):
It's the glasses, you know, and they gave me a complex.
When I first started auditioning, my agents literally would say like, hey,
so this one they actually want someone funny, so make
sure you wear your glasses.

Speaker 4 (08:09):
And I was like the Tina fe effect, like what
I was like.

Speaker 5 (08:13):
And then they'd be like, actually, they're looking for a
pretty girl, so if you could just wear contacts for
this audition, And.

Speaker 4 (08:18):
Then I'd be like, who am I?

Speaker 5 (08:22):
They do that much to your face? No, I thought
i'd be a Broadway actress. I moved to New York
City and I was like, they're waiting for me. I
am I am a singer.

Speaker 4 (08:31):
I am here. I think the first sign should have
been I didn't go to college for musical theaters, so,
like you know, I.

Speaker 5 (08:36):
Went for TV production and I wrote a lot and
I did theater, but I didn't like study it. My
parents were like, wait, why do you have to go
to the college, just saying we don't need that's that's
not a real degree.

Speaker 4 (08:47):
And then I meant.

Speaker 5 (08:47):
I went to New York and everyone was like trained,
and I was like, oh shit, I'm not.

Speaker 4 (08:51):
I'm not one of these.

Speaker 5 (08:52):
Like no one else wore like a leather jacket and
sneakers to this audition.

Speaker 4 (08:56):
They're all in like character shoes and like dresses. And
I felt so out of place. And I started taking
classes at UCB, and I like met some cool.

Speaker 5 (09:02):
People and I was like, oh, these are like more
people like me, you know, a room full of people
who start in their high school theater and then.

Speaker 4 (09:10):
Moved to New York thinking they'd be a star, and
they're in an improv class.

Speaker 1 (09:14):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
It's funny how so many of us think like wait
till I get like. That's how I felt when I
moved to LA when I was nineteen I was like,
wait till they see me.

Speaker 8 (09:22):
I was like, wait until everybody gets alone to this.
I know, like so delusional, but also you know, kind
of not. It's kind of nice to think that highly
of yourself.

Speaker 4 (09:33):
You need to be delusional to do something like that.

Speaker 2 (09:36):
To move to one of us exactly, you have to
be like, I'm not gonna be the biggest star.

Speaker 1 (09:41):
Whatever the fuck you think you're doing.

Speaker 2 (09:42):
I mean, my goalposts are always like moving based on
what I'm doing, because I really have no long term plan.
I'm always just very in the moment, like, oh, what
looks like fun this year?

Speaker 1 (09:51):
But I like that. I like that Hubris?

Speaker 4 (09:54):
Yeah right?

Speaker 2 (09:54):
And how are you finding Like let's talk about the
industry and like being a woman and being a comedian
and having all of these things, like how have you
found your way in?

Speaker 1 (10:03):
How old are you? I'm old?

Speaker 4 (10:05):
I'm thirty seven.

Speaker 2 (10:07):
Okay, well I'm forty eight, So why don't you shill
that fuck up?

Speaker 7 (10:11):
Wait?

Speaker 5 (10:12):
I listened to ze Way's episode and I was like,
should I just say nineteen?

Speaker 4 (10:15):
Like she's gonna ask me, should I just say it?

Speaker 1 (10:17):
I never said what about ze Way? What a bitch?
See Way?

Speaker 2 (10:19):
I was like Seaway, You're a fucking asshole. She lied
to me about her age a hook line and sinker.
By the way, I fucking fell for it.

Speaker 1 (10:25):
I was like, I usually know bullshit, but I was like,
I don't know. And I was sober that day.

Speaker 2 (10:29):
I wasn't even Stone Catherine, So what's It's almost like
when I'm sober, I'm at a disadvantage, you know what
I mean, Like for me to level up, I've got
to either have an edible or a cocktail.

Speaker 1 (10:39):
I love it, but yeah, ze Way.

Speaker 2 (10:42):
For everyone listening, she was our guest and she said
she was nineteen, and I believed her, and then we
share the same manager. So afterward I was like, I
can't believe zee Way's nineteen, and she's like she's not.

Speaker 1 (10:52):
You idiot. Of all the people she could have lied to,
you took it.

Speaker 3 (10:56):
I was like, Oh, she would have gotten her showtime
show at like six, started writing at like thirteen.

Speaker 1 (11:04):
Yeah, I know, Well, kudos to her forgetting, for being believable.
You know, you gotta give credit get beautiful.

Speaker 5 (11:09):
I did think i'd be that successful by nineteen, you know.
I was like, there's no way I'm going to be
an adult and I'm.

Speaker 1 (11:14):
Not like rich yet.

Speaker 2 (11:16):
And here I remember I remember having this age line,
and I remember I used to look at how old
Jennifer Aniston was when she got friends because that was
my age threshold, like and she was thirty two, I believe.

Speaker 1 (11:28):
So I remember going like, okay, I haven't until thirty two.

Speaker 2 (11:31):
Because I waited tables for like seven or eight years,
and I was very I was good at it, but
I was, you know, a big bitch, so a lot
of people, you know, there was a lot of arguments
and confrontations.

Speaker 4 (11:41):
I was the worst server too. I did it for
seven years.

Speaker 2 (11:44):
I was fine with the service and like being effective
and like quick and I could remember everything.

Speaker 1 (11:49):
I just didn't want the human interaction, like the people
were like.

Speaker 2 (11:53):
I was just like, don't talk to me, you know
what I mean, Like I'm gonna get your food, like,
let's not get it twisted.

Speaker 5 (11:57):
I would lie to the tables and they'd order a
certain wine and if it wasn't a twist off, I'd
be like.

Speaker 4 (12:01):
Oh, I think we're like out of it.

Speaker 5 (12:03):
I actually I recommend this one. They'd be like, you're
supposed to upsell. I'm like, I just want to do
the ones that twist off.

Speaker 4 (12:09):
I really hate opening wine at the table.

Speaker 2 (12:12):
I did the same thing at Chaia Brasserie in Venice, California.
I couldn't open bottles of wine like I just would
suck it up. So I told the staff at Chaia
Venice that I was allergic to grapes, so that I
wasn't allowed to serve fie. There is no grape allergy, like,
no one has it. But I didn't know that, and
neither does anybody else. Oh my god, see Way probably
has it a grape allergy.

Speaker 1 (12:33):
Actually she definitely does. Yeah, that's so funny.

Speaker 2 (12:37):
It's like, I'm not going to bring a tray with
a bottle and a bunch of glasses over and not
fuck that up.

Speaker 1 (12:42):
I'm not domesticated.

Speaker 5 (12:43):
No, And I also would never pick up more than
one plate at a time.

Speaker 2 (12:46):
Yeah, when you come over a but take one plate
and then come back five minutes later. So what has
your experience back to that question, what has been your
experience navigating this industry because it's a totally different medium
than when I came up, Because you know, you're very
well known from your social stuff, and it's different now,
like it's not like you get fame necessarily for being
on television.

Speaker 4 (13:07):
Yeah, it's crazy. I started to feel that, like the
video bug.

Speaker 5 (13:11):
I feel like a long time ago when I first
started doing stand up, which was like ten years ago,
I guess, and I would do.

Speaker 4 (13:17):
Shows and then there would be some shitty shows where.

Speaker 5 (13:19):
I'm like, oh, they give me like six minutes all
these fucking gross guys who have nothing nice do. They
don't even like bring you up on stage properly. And
I was like, or I could make a video and
it could go viral on YouTube and that would be
so funny and hundreds of thousands of people would see
it instead of the twenty people at this comedy club
in New York.

Speaker 1 (13:36):
So, I don't know.

Speaker 5 (13:37):
I started doing that like a while ago, and I
loved it.

Speaker 4 (13:42):
And then I guess I hosted a game show. I
don't if you know this. I hosted a game show
for three years that like changed my life.

Speaker 1 (13:47):
No, what's it called.

Speaker 5 (13:49):
It was called HQ Trivia. It was like on your
phone and it was super popular. It was like twice
a day it was live. Millions of people would tune in.
We had like celebrities host like The Rock hosted, like
it was. It was crazy and it was like four
or five hundred thousand people a night playing this game
that I would host, and it just ended.

Speaker 4 (14:08):
Like a year and a half ago.

Speaker 5 (14:09):
I came back in the Pandemic, but that was on
an app and so like I was like posting every
night about that, and then in the Pandemic, I just
I accidentally did an impression and that went viral. It
was an accident. I didn't plan it at all and
it went kind of viral. And then the La Times
called me a TikToker and I was like, oh my.

Speaker 1 (14:27):
God, so much pressure. You're like tktok.

Speaker 5 (14:31):
I know I didn't even I don't even know if
I had to, I might have had like done a
couple things on TikTok, but nothing major. And I was like, wow,
I guess they didn't do their research. I'm just a
TikToker to the La Times.

Speaker 4 (14:40):
Now that's cool. And I just I leaned in, you know, I.

Speaker 5 (14:44):
Started making more videos daily like a crazy person. You
know the fact that my boyfriend hasn't left yet and
he's filmed a lot of my videos is a blessing.

Speaker 1 (14:53):
What's the story with your boyfriend? How long have you
guys been together.

Speaker 4 (14:56):
We've been together almost eight years.

Speaker 1 (14:58):
Which oh, oh it was too long.

Speaker 4 (15:01):
That's so long.

Speaker 5 (15:03):
People gave up after your three or four They're like,
why aren't you getting married yet?

Speaker 4 (15:07):
Now they don't even that's not even a question.

Speaker 1 (15:09):
You know you're not getting Are you not into the marriage?

Speaker 4 (15:11):
I never cared. I was never obsessed with marriage. I
never wanted kids. My mom is like, she's your hero,
Chelsea's your hero, because.

Speaker 5 (15:17):
Like I have nieces now, and I'm like, they think
I'm the coolest person in the world, and I love
that role.

Speaker 4 (15:22):
And I'm like, I never wanted my own kids, you know.

Speaker 5 (15:25):
I love being like, Okay, good night, bye, now your
parents deal. Yeah, So my boyfriend and I and that
was something I told him straight up. I wasn't looking
for a boyfriend. I had gotten out of a breakup
and it was like a couple of years of me
just I was like the forty year old virgin again.

Speaker 4 (15:40):
Like it was so fun being single.

Speaker 5 (15:42):
Because I was with someone for eight years from like
college to twenty seven.

Speaker 1 (15:46):
So you're you're you're you like long term relationships, I guess. Yeah,
it's nice though.

Speaker 2 (15:53):
It's refreshing to hear that, like, you know, so many
young girls are like girls that are younger than me,
that are being honest about out what they want with
marriage and children, and like actually identifying it is such
an empowering and powerful thing to know and recognizing yourself
what you want, because I think that's such an issue
for so long. I think women for so long were

(16:14):
held so back, you know, and like housewives and da
da da, that you're like, you don't even think you
have a choice.

Speaker 1 (16:20):
You just do what you're supposed to do.

Speaker 2 (16:22):
So now to see all these women like, no, I'm
not getting married, I'm not having children.

Speaker 1 (16:26):
That's not for me.

Speaker 2 (16:27):
It's very like it's just a sign of like the
times that we live in, and there's it feels like
there's like some sort of female awakening that's been at
play for the last you know, fifty years, and we're
cruising into this really sweet spot, especially abudding up against
Roe v Wade being overturned and the way men are
and you know how stupid most of them can act

(16:48):
at times, and embarrassing it is as a society that
men get away with such nonsense behavior and we're we're like,
we're over here, we've had our shit together. This whole time,
and nobody has been giving us the wheel to drive.
So I'm true, Yeah, that's really refreshing. How do you
feel about children the same way you feel about getting married?

Speaker 4 (17:08):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (17:08):
I never wanted kids. I love kids, kids like me,
but I never wanted to have kids of mine.

Speaker 1 (17:12):
You say, I mean, do you have proof if that
children like you?

Speaker 4 (17:16):
Yes?

Speaker 5 (17:17):
Because I always have candy on me, and my sister's
three year old thinks I'm like the fucking.

Speaker 1 (17:21):
God, like you know, or a child molester.

Speaker 4 (17:25):
I know it's a candy on me. Watch out.

Speaker 2 (17:28):
I actually speaking of child molesting. I got a ride
home from a child last night. I was flew in
from I. So I flew in from LA to Whistler.
I'm back in my I have a little ski a
situation of whistle that I'm obsessed with skiing. So I
came back yesterday and I stopped at my friend's house,
which is like forty minutes away, and she had dinner

(17:48):
and friends over and then everyone kind of fell asleep.

Speaker 1 (17:51):
But I'm like, well, I don't want to sleep here,
like I just got home. I want to go to
in my bed. And this like nineteen year old kid was.

Speaker 2 (17:58):
Like I'll drive you to Slirt's like forty minutes and
I was like, are you are you?

Speaker 1 (18:03):
Do you have a license? I was like, how old
are you? Can you drive in the snow? He's like
I'm nineteen and I was like okay.

Speaker 2 (18:11):
And then I like, you know, observed him for a
good forty five seconds and thought, yeah, actually this is
the guy I want to drive me home.

Speaker 4 (18:18):
You were like, let me set you up in Z
way I know another nineteen year old.

Speaker 2 (18:20):
Said, I only hang out with nineteen year olds these days,
so I want to introduce you to someone.

Speaker 1 (18:26):
But yeah, he drove me home and it was really cute.

Speaker 2 (18:28):
I had my dog, Bernice because my friend was dog
sitting and he drove me home and it's like a
forty minute drive, and uh yeah, it was really funny.
I was like, he's like, I could give you ride
anytime you need one.

Speaker 1 (18:37):
Chelse Ll.

Speaker 4 (18:40):
You have a new driver, and I know I have
a new.

Speaker 1 (18:43):
Nineteen year old driver. That's something I would totally do well.

Speaker 3 (18:46):
And he's not legal drinking age, so it's definitely likely
to be over.

Speaker 1 (18:49):
He doesn't drink at all. We talked about lots of
drugs and alcohol on the way.

Speaker 7 (18:52):
Home.

Speaker 1 (18:52):
Yeah, he doesn't. A lot of kids don't drink.

Speaker 8 (18:54):
Now.

Speaker 1 (18:55):
It's weird. Yeah, it's funny. They're all straight edge.

Speaker 2 (18:57):
They're not into it because I think alcohol is, like,
you know, it's seen its finest hour.

Speaker 1 (19:03):
There's so many other.

Speaker 2 (19:04):
Avenues to explore with mushrooms and microdosing, and I think
people are more on that train.

Speaker 3 (19:09):
Yes, kids these days think that alcohol is boomer technology
is what they call it.

Speaker 1 (19:13):
And I think that's oh, just great. I think am
I a boomer?

Speaker 2 (19:16):
I'm the opposite of a boomer, but I am a
boomer probably. No, I think I'm younger than a boomer.

Speaker 1 (19:20):
Yeah. By the way, Catherine, I like that merch hat
that dear Chelsea hat. I needed a black hat today,
and here we are.

Speaker 4 (19:25):
That's so cute.

Speaker 2 (19:26):
Where's our merch at Chelseahandler dot com, Chelsea Handler dot com.

Speaker 1 (19:30):
Okay, quick shout out to merch.

Speaker 2 (19:31):
Okay, so you know, okay, did you get the lowdown
of what we're doing today. We're basically gonna have fun
with our callers. They call in for real shit and
we give them real advice.

Speaker 4 (19:40):
I can't wait, I've listened.

Speaker 1 (19:42):
Okay, great, all.

Speaker 2 (19:42):
Right, so we need to take a break, and then
we're going to be right back. Okay, and we're.

Speaker 3 (19:49):
Back, We are back, We're back okay, and uh, these
are all going to be centered around things that you
have something to do with or you've talked about.

Speaker 2 (19:58):
And so, okay, are you comfortable with questions about anal penetration?

Speaker 1 (20:02):
Anna?

Speaker 4 (20:03):
Absolutely?

Speaker 3 (20:03):
Yeah, perfect, There is one about porn. So that's why
I was like, wait, they're they're not all about you.
But did you know I've post my ass all over Instagram?

Speaker 1 (20:11):
Though I know that you wake up and do anal
every morning.

Speaker 2 (20:14):
I mean, anyone worth their salt does that. That's the
first thing on the menu.

Speaker 5 (20:18):
I promise my Instagram followers when Pennsylvania turned blue, I
would do ten photos of my ass on Instagram and
amazing I did.

Speaker 2 (20:24):
And I was like, I love when we can combine
politics and sex. That's my favorite two of my favorite
topics interpersonal relationships. Well, I like the emotional psychodrama that
goes with it. Two, but I love sex and I
love politics.

Speaker 4 (20:38):
There you go, you would love that post. It was, Yeah,
I think my ass turned Pennsylvania blue.

Speaker 1 (20:42):
I did it.

Speaker 2 (20:45):
It's like the opposite of blue balls. It's like blue
ass smurf ass.

Speaker 3 (20:51):
Well very appropriately. This email starts, am I the asshole? Probably,
Zan says Dear Chelsea, Am I the asshole? That's what
I'm needing reassurance on I was in a relationship for
six months. We started talking in May, met in June,
and became official in August. We ended New Year's Eve.
In short, he felt as though I was not integrating

(21:12):
into his life. The first incident came in the form
of a wedding in October. He told me his cousin
was getting married in January. It was a big moment
for the family and he wanted me to attend. I
told him it made me feel uncomfortable to meet the
entire family so soon into the relationship. I felt steps
were being skipped, such as meeting individual members beforehand, and
given that it's a destination wedding, the cost included felt unreasonable.

(21:36):
He did not take it well. Ultimately, I bought a ticket,
but he never forgave me for hesitating. The second incident
involves his friends. Being thirty three, I've phased out of
the twenty somethings enjoyment of alcohol. Him being twenty six
hasn't their idea of a good time as to be expected,
always involves drinking. Because of this, I don't fully enjoy

(21:56):
the moments we're all together. And when I asked him
if there was ever a time he and his friends
got together and didn't drink, he couldn't really give me
an answer, but he said I was being selfish and uncompromising.
I feel like I am and was being rational, But
his voice in my head and the accompanying guilt make
me question myself.

Speaker 1 (22:13):
Am I the asshole? Zan is Xana gay Man is Zanna? Yes? Yes, oh,
z Zan, You're not being an asshole at all. That's
like good.

Speaker 2 (22:21):
All the red flags you identified them, You hesitated when
you didn't want to go to the wedding.

Speaker 1 (22:26):
You for the right reasons.

Speaker 2 (22:27):
There's nothing wrong with being like circumspect about meeting people's families.
They're being overwhelmed, and also the cost that was put
into it. No, I don't think you were an.

Speaker 1 (22:36):
Asshole at all.

Speaker 2 (22:37):
I think you were actually had boundaries and were stating them,
and you were being told that your boundaries aren't going
to be respected.

Speaker 3 (22:45):
Yeah, six or seven months, because it sounds like, you know,
they started talking in May and this wedding was in January,
like six or seven months kind of feels like plenty
of time.

Speaker 4 (22:54):
To meet the family.

Speaker 3 (22:55):
And I get that it's like overwhelming being all at once,
but I think it's okay to be uncomfortable. But that
feels like pretty appropriate timeline.

Speaker 2 (23:03):
Yes, it is appropriate, But if the person doesn't want
to do that, then the person doesn't want to do that.
You can't make someone go and you're going to meet
my whole family all in one fell swoop.

Speaker 1 (23:11):
I can imagine a lot of people. That would make
a lot very nervous.

Speaker 2 (23:14):
First of all, I would fucking run towards that wedding
because I love shit like that. But I have a
different personality type, right, Like I get it, Like if
that's overwhelming to some people, some people have serious like
social anxiety and whatever.

Speaker 1 (23:27):
I don't know. I think it's valid to not do
anything you don't want to do.

Speaker 5 (23:30):
I agree with you one thousand percent. I think it's
like you were honest with this person.

Speaker 4 (23:34):
If they made you feel bad, then that's on them.

Speaker 5 (23:37):
If you're like, hey, I don't know how I feel
about meeting your whole family, that's okay, you know, and
then you know it's not going to work.

Speaker 1 (23:43):
Out.

Speaker 5 (23:43):
I guess if they can't understand where you where your
boundaries are. I made my boyfriend meet my parents three
weeks into dating, so I'm no one.

Speaker 4 (23:52):
I'm bad.

Speaker 1 (23:52):
Yeah, I never have any like rules around that.

Speaker 2 (23:55):
But also when you ask if you're an asshole, usually
the assholes.

Speaker 1 (23:58):
Aren't asking that question.

Speaker 2 (24:00):
Yeah, okay, so we'll problem solved and they're not the
Zan Zan zan.

Speaker 5 (24:07):
Oh, and I wanted to address the drinking thing. That's ridiculous.
If Zan doesn't want to have a drink, who gives
a ship?

Speaker 1 (24:13):
Yeah? No, one's what are you in.

Speaker 4 (24:16):
The DARE program where they're like, come on, I had
a drink? Are you not? Are you a loser? You
can't hang out with us?

Speaker 1 (24:21):
No?

Speaker 3 (24:21):
Yeah, right right yeah, And I think that is just
sort of a clear sign that you're not in the
same place in life as this other guy.

Speaker 4 (24:29):
So well, thanks Anne, I'm glad Zan got out.

Speaker 1 (24:33):
Yes, yeah, okay, what's next? Next up?

Speaker 3 (24:37):
Our next one is a caller, and this is Elena.
Elena is currently in Puerto Rico. She's on vacation, but
she's calling in. Dear Chelsea, I heard you answer a
question about porn in your last interview with ze way,
and it brought up another question for me. I haven't
felt comfortable talking about it because the second a woman
brings up porn in any questioning way, I feel like

(24:57):
we're labeled as prudes. I'm not against using porn. I
completely believe in and support healthy porn consumption. But I
recently found out that my boyfriend of two years has
several OnlyFans subscriptions, paying for these girls monthly, even messaging them,
talking to them, and tipping them for custom nude sets.

Speaker 1 (25:17):
Oh.

Speaker 3 (25:17):
To me, this feels adjacent to cheating, though obviously not physically.

Speaker 1 (25:23):
It feels like a betrayal, and I was really hurt
by it.

Speaker 3 (25:26):
When we talked about it, he said he didn't think
it was a big deal at all and quote people
in healthy relationships do this all the time. It felt
like a shitty response. Honestly, my gut says it's not
normal or fine. To me, this crosses a line for me.
With the payment and messaging. Looking at a potential future
with him as a possible husband makes me really nervous
after this, and I don't want to deal with this

(25:47):
when I'm six months pregnant with his kid.

Speaker 1 (25:49):
I've gotten mixed advice.

Speaker 3 (25:50):
Women tell me to run, some men say give him
another chance, and other men even say this type of
porn consumption is totally normal and natural. I'd love to
hear your advice on this. I appreciate your show and
all of your advice.

Speaker 1 (26:02):
Elena.

Speaker 2 (26:03):
Hi, Elena, Hi, Hi, this is Anna, she's our special
guest day Anna Roysman.

Speaker 4 (26:09):
Hi, Elena, I'm with you.

Speaker 1 (26:11):
I don't. I don't like that. I'm not into that
paying's messaging what.

Speaker 2 (26:15):
Yeah, that is like that's flirting with if it was
if it weren't an oly fan site and he was
messaging anyone on the side, wouldn't you.

Speaker 1 (26:22):
Be put off by that? That's that is kind of cheating.

Speaker 2 (26:26):
It's flirting with another person when you're in supposedly a
monogaous Does he know he's in a monogamous relationship?

Speaker 9 (26:32):
Yes, And I'd even asked him after I found this out,
whether or not he wanted to continue a monogamous relationship
or do something else, and he doubled down he said, yes,
I would I want to maintain a monogamous.

Speaker 2 (26:46):
Relation, of course, because he's getting to watch porn and
flirt and tip other women. No, it's like it's icky.
I mean, I listen, I might be old fashioned, but
I don't think so. I think I'm pretty fucking with it.
And it's like that, especially even if he wasn't paying
them and he was DM some girls flirting with them
that would feel bad to you, and for sex, like
watching them whatever they do on OnlyFans, right, is it

(27:08):
all sex or is it just like sometimes you show
like your vagina?

Speaker 1 (27:11):
What happens?

Speaker 2 (27:12):
I don't have any OnlyFans accounts that I follow. I've
been trying to get on it, but I have someone
blocked me.

Speaker 9 (27:17):
No, No, I am all for the girls on only
Fans and so support them.

Speaker 1 (27:22):
But and so does your boyfriend. So last night very much.

Speaker 9 (27:26):
Very much. It's mainly, honestly, just been like nudes from them.
It hasn't been like custom videos or anything like that.

Speaker 1 (27:34):
Yeah, but it's all gross.

Speaker 9 (27:36):
Yeah, it's like, I don't know, I want to like
support his desires nothing.

Speaker 1 (27:41):
No, no, no, that's that's not a landing or too nice.

Speaker 2 (27:44):
You're being a little naive and you're being a little
bit too nice. You don't need to support his porn interest.

Speaker 3 (27:49):
Right, It's not like he's picking up a guitar or
like learning another language.

Speaker 2 (27:53):
Like that's not your responsibility a and like, yes, of
course kudos to anyone who has an only Fans, But
if you want your boyfriend or your partner like that
doesn't feel good to you, clearly because you're calling and
it's just it key behavior and there's nothing no no,
I think you need to move on from him, and

(28:14):
also you need to have like a little bit more
and better understanding of what you are and what you're
not willing to like put up with within a relationship.

Speaker 1 (28:23):
Yeah right.

Speaker 5 (28:25):
I also wanted to say, when you called in, you
give this whole description of like porn and porn, watching porn,
putting on porn. I mean porn, I'm gonna say, you
know it's art, right, it's a form of art in
the but in only Fans where you're having a connection
with someone who's sending your nudes personally and you paid
them for it, that's a different that's not necessarily a porn,

(28:45):
you know, that's totally I mean people people are dating
online today, you know, that's the same thing as like
having these like online relationships. I don't know, I think
it's it's a different level than like him, if you
walked in you're like, he's watching porn again on his computer.
That's different than paying for someone to message him.

Speaker 9 (29:00):
Definitely. I have just asked different people's advice on this,
as I mentioned in my email, and you know, a
lot of women say the same thing, run get out.
A lot of men have mixed advice, like some say,
pill girl. I am so so sorry. I'm staying at
a friend's house and the cat is no, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 2 (29:23):
First of all, stuff apologizing. You need to like boost
up your self esteem. You're too nice. That's a very
nice quality, but you need to have a little bit
more like gumption and a little bit more.

Speaker 1 (29:34):
You are like a beautiful.

Speaker 2 (29:35):
Kind, caring individual who is thinking about a person, and
you need to be thinking about yourself. Actually, you're giving
him a little bit too much credit in this area.
This is really about how you feel. It doesn't make
you feel good, so it's not going to work for you.

Speaker 1 (29:50):
Yeah, right, thank you. Yeah, it's not gonna work for you.

Speaker 5 (29:53):
Yeah, you don't need to support his habits of messaging
women for naked photos.

Speaker 9 (29:58):
Yeah, him like a year into a stating I've been
doing for almost two and a half years and about
a year and I asked him, because I was having
some feelings. I wasn't sure if he I just had
a sense there was something going on only fans wise,
so I asked him, are you you know only fans,

(30:18):
no judgment, it's fine, but I just want to know
for me, for my future. And he was really adamant
about it. He said, no, absolutely not. Why would I
pay for something like that. So I think it's more
frustrating too that he lied about it.

Speaker 2 (30:34):
You know, and you gave him an opportunity and then
he blew it, so he lied to you. So no,
you deserve better than this. This isn't going to be
good enough for you, period. So are you ready to
break up with him?

Speaker 1 (30:45):
Because you should?

Speaker 9 (30:46):
Thank you, Chelsey, I've honestly been confused by a lot
of advice that I've gotten, Like men say, it's actually
it's just porn. It's fine, and actually it's more ethical
because it's from only fans, like you're controlling where the
money goes. But I think I think there's a good
percentage of women on only vans who are still trafficked,
Like you.

Speaker 3 (31:05):
Know, yeah, that sounds like guys who love only vans
only men would say that it's ethical gonna cheat anyway,
so it's better that he's just cheating with someone online.

Speaker 1 (31:12):
Like whatever.

Speaker 2 (31:14):
Don't listen to men and give advice to women about
fucking anything. You need to listen to women, and right
now you need to listen to us. I can see
this fixture very clearly. I'm sorry that you wasted two
and a half years of your life, but there is
somebody out there for you that is gonna appreciate and
love you. It's actually it's a sea of men. They're everywhere.
Everywhere you go, there they are.

Speaker 5 (31:35):
And you're gonna be stronger because of this situation. You're
gonna know what you want when you don't want.

Speaker 1 (31:40):
And you need to also use your voice.

Speaker 2 (31:42):
Like your voice, I want you to use that as
a tool for yourself, and I want you to write
that down, like you need to get stronger in your voice,
and I mean that actually audibly. And you know you
need to like do some vocal exercises in the morning
to like ground yourself because you're being This is what
I see when I look at you, somebody who's just
like in the air that is like kind of being directed,

(32:04):
like you're like a hot air balloon. That it doesn't
know where to land because you're kind of being directed
by someone who doesn't have your best interest.

Speaker 1 (32:11):
Yeah, and you want to be grounded in who you are.

Speaker 2 (32:14):
You want to be a woman like you're a woman
and you're powerful, and you have all of these amazing
things going for you in your life. And I don't
know half of them, but I already know that's true
because it's true for every one of us.

Speaker 1 (32:25):
And this outward focus on that no, no, no, I
don't like that at all. And you're better than that.

Speaker 9 (32:31):
Thank you, Chelsea.

Speaker 3 (32:32):
To Chelsea's point about you need to listen to women
about this, it's not because women are always right all o.

Speaker 1 (32:38):
We usually are.

Speaker 3 (32:38):
It's because the women in your life are echoing what
is coming up for you, what's coming from your gut
and what your gut is telling you, and the men
in your life are trying to like dissuade you from that.

Speaker 1 (32:49):
It sounds like the women.

Speaker 3 (32:51):
Are telling you exactly how you're feeling, and that's why
you should listen to them.

Speaker 9 (32:55):
Thank you all so much. This is really helpful. It's
so great to get your advice on this.

Speaker 7 (33:00):
Thank you.

Speaker 6 (33:01):
Well.

Speaker 1 (33:01):
I'll be thinking about you, honey, follow up with us. Okay,
let us know how it goes.

Speaker 2 (33:04):
Let us know when you break up with your boyfriend,
because you will and keep us posted.

Speaker 1 (33:08):
We'll have you on our matchmaking segment.

Speaker 2 (33:10):
Yes, oh that's fun. Yeah, I will put you on
our matchmaking segment.

Speaker 1 (33:14):
I love that.

Speaker 9 (33:15):
Thank you so much.

Speaker 4 (33:15):
Okay, bye, Len, good luck bye.

Speaker 1 (33:19):
I love men. It's better.

Speaker 2 (33:20):
It's more ethical to watch porn when you're fucking so stupid.

Speaker 1 (33:24):
I love my brother.

Speaker 2 (33:25):
Over Christmas this year, he was like, Chelsea, let me
I go no, no, let me tell you. Don't don't
tell me anything, and don't start any sentence with let
me no, no, no, I don't let you anymore.

Speaker 1 (33:38):
Don't talk to me like that.

Speaker 3 (33:41):
But I think this is such an interesting question. Brad
and I, my husband and I were just having this
discussion the other day. We were watching ninety Day Fiance
and there was a similar situation, and it's like, where
is the line? And I think the line has to
be like when you start having direct conversations, like it's
not just porn when you start like I mean, yeah,
giving someone money, but even if you're not giving them money,
if someone's sending you nudes and the DMS, like, no,

(34:03):
that's not just like this is for fun and so
I can jerk off. This is something more. That's yeah,
that's too personalized.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (34:10):
I got mad at my boyfriend of the pandemic.

Speaker 5 (34:11):
He had a weekly D and D zoom game dungeons
and trackets, and I was like, this is worse than port.
I would feel better if you were actually like girl
and jerking out. I'm like you and your your fourteen
other like high school friends. They're all like men in
their forties and they're like playing characters on their Zoom.

Speaker 1 (34:29):
I can't. I cannot with men in video games. I mean,
it is a boner killer. It is a boner killer.

Speaker 5 (34:36):
I was like, have you heard of OnlyFans I made?

Speaker 2 (34:39):
Fuck, that's a boner lift your upper and this is
a boner killer. It's just so like boners and you
don't know which direction they're headed east, west, north or south.

Speaker 4 (34:48):
I was such a bitch. I'm like, let me play
my saxophone. Remember when I used to do that.

Speaker 5 (34:53):
I'd be like, I'm I'm rehearsing in the other rooms.

Speaker 3 (35:01):
Well, our next question comes from Hobby and he'll be
joining us on the phone as well.

Speaker 1 (35:06):
He is currently unemployed, and I thought that this would be.

Speaker 3 (35:09):
A perfect question for you since you had a podcast
called Unemployed and you know about transitions. So yes, Hobby
says Dear Chelsea. I'm currently working as a reality TV producer,
and while I love the work, the short term contracts
have been causing me some anxiety. Additionally, I had to
move back to Miami to care for my sick mother

(35:29):
he was living in LA, which added another layer of
complexity to my life. I admire the stick with itness
and resilience in the entertainment industry you have, and I'm
curious to know if you have any advice for someone
like me who feels at a crossroads. How do you
navigate the uncertainty of short contracts and do you have
any recommendations for building a backup plan or creating other
income streams. Furthermore, given my current circumstances in my life,

(35:54):
I'm contemplating whether I should consider moving back to LA
or explore other options. I'd appreciate any insights or wisdom
you could share based on your own experiences.

Speaker 1 (36:03):
Have HI havevey?

Speaker 7 (36:06):
Hey? How's it going good?

Speaker 1 (36:09):
How are you?

Speaker 7 (36:10):
I'm good good, I'm chilling, okay.

Speaker 1 (36:13):
So Okay, break it down.

Speaker 2 (36:14):
Well, Anna, this will be good for you too, because
we're all like that in this business. That's what it's like,
so we can relate for sure. It's like job to
job to job to job. No job security ever, ever, ever, No.

Speaker 6 (36:25):
Four oh one K, no paid time off, none of that.
And right now that's sounding like mighty tempting. It feels
like I'm missing out on something.

Speaker 1 (36:34):
You know, you mean by not having a four oh.

Speaker 6 (36:37):
One K yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah, or just like steady
income throughout the year. Right now, Catherine knows, I'm unemployed.
I've worked it out where I have two shows that
I work on that kind of fill up nine months
out of the year, and now these three months January
to March, I'm just kind of hanging out, you know,
and applying for gigs and crossing my fingers but nothing yet.

Speaker 4 (37:00):
Have you been doing it for a long time.

Speaker 6 (37:02):
I've been working in reality TV for like five years
or so, producing like two ish years.

Speaker 7 (37:09):
Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 5 (37:11):
Okay, I want to say Mozeltov to you for having
a job nine months in a creative industry nine months
out of the year.

Speaker 2 (37:18):
I'm like, oh god about that.

Speaker 5 (37:21):
That's like teachers, you know, they get like a summer off.

Speaker 4 (37:23):
I guess, I'm like, you're kind of living their schedule.

Speaker 5 (37:25):
But I'm like, if I was employed for nine months
this year, I'd be like, you know, on a beach somewhere.
I'd be in Miami with you. No, not to I
understand though, that this lull, the three months is it
feels slow and you have no idea what to do.

Speaker 6 (37:37):
But yeah, I feel slow, and then the demons start,
you know, creeping back in and telling me that I'm
never going to have a stable anything, never going to
be able to buy a house, never gonna you know.

Speaker 1 (37:47):
Well, that's not true, that's not true.

Speaker 2 (37:49):
Those are your thoughts, Like, that's your just like shadows
self telling you your That's what all of us have
and experience when we don't have a lot going on,
is our voices saying are you good enough?

Speaker 1 (37:59):
Are you going to this happen? That's bullshit.

Speaker 2 (38:01):
So first and foremost, we need you to spend these
three months that you have off in a very much
more productive way. And you sound like you have since
you have a steady income for those nine months out
of the year before you have something more that you're working.

Speaker 1 (38:14):
Maybe eleven months out of the year.

Speaker 2 (38:15):
I mean, it's a pretty good gig if you can
swing working nine months out of the year and keep
it that way.

Speaker 1 (38:20):
I would just say, but you need to put money.

Speaker 2 (38:22):
Aside in every paycheck first of all, for your own
four oh one k for your own You have to
start all of that shit yourself, and because then you're
an island taking care of yourself and you're feeding yourself
before you put yourself out there anymore. And there's a
lot of self esteem that comes with managing your money
in a very thoughtful, futuristic way.

Speaker 1 (38:40):
You're preparing for the future. You can't just like burn
through everything and it feels.

Speaker 2 (38:44):
Very good, and you're going to feel a lot safer
and like grounded and protected when you are looking out
for yourself. And there's all sorts of accounts you could
drop and they can take money from your paycheck. You
can put it in yourself like you can design it
however you want. But you need to start doing that anyway.
You know, you're a brown man and you should be
preparing for your future.

Speaker 7 (39:03):
Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, I do.

Speaker 6 (39:05):
I have a rough ira and I do have a
good amount of savings, but it's like I don't know.
I don't know if it's like the Cuban I'm Cuban
and the trauma of coming from parents who came from nothing,
Like I'm like, you gotta keep saving more, you gotta
keep saving more, you know, Like, but I hear you.

Speaker 1 (39:20):
A lot of people feel that way.

Speaker 2 (39:22):
Like a lot of people feel exactly the way that
you do. It's not as I did, to do with
being Cuban. It has to do with the human experience,
you know, you're I mean, not many people go through
life going I'm going to be great this whole time.

Speaker 1 (39:32):
Everything's going to go my way.

Speaker 7 (39:34):
Yeah, true, true.

Speaker 5 (39:35):
Well are we gonna say Anna, I was gonna say, well, yeah,
as a Jew, you know, my parents, they they I
feel sorry for them that I did this, you know
what I mean.

Speaker 4 (39:42):
I'm always broke and I'm always I feel for you
because this is where I am today this morning. Even.
But I was gonna say, you're a producer, and you.

Speaker 5 (39:49):
Don't have to put yourself in a little category of
just a reality.

Speaker 4 (39:52):
TV producer, because that's a hard job. You're a producer.
You could produce. You know how many people need producers,
like on a podcast.

Speaker 5 (39:59):
Or first or film or you knows your name out there, Yeah, commercials, advertising,
even social media people need people to produce videos for
Like it's there's so much more work I think as
a producer, because you're obviously organized. You know how to
like book a place or guests or whatnot. You know,
like you know how to get people together. So I
think just exercise that and you might find something that

(40:21):
you like. Even you're like, wait, reality TV, that's so
of the past, Like look at me, I'm running you know,
six podcasts now. I always think, take whatever skills you enjoy,
because you obviously went in a creative route, you chose
not to go into like a corporate job. Like take
those skills and just go and try something else with it,
because I think you seem.

Speaker 4 (40:41):
Like you could do that.

Speaker 7 (40:43):
Thank you, thank you.

Speaker 6 (40:44):
Yeah. I also have this like feeling that like I've
got to be out in La you know, that's where
I kind of like set up my like network of people.
I lived there for two years, and like I wrote
in the email, like I've been back home with Mom
who's been sick. I have my ninety three year old
grandfather here who I'm also like helping out, you know,
make you know, a doctor's appointment to whatnot. And my
dad is a truck driver who's gone half the time.
And so I feel like a little bit of a

(41:06):
how to be home right now here in Miami. And
I'm sure there's a ton of ton of work here,
But again, my network's kind of like in La. So
I'm kind of like again at that's like cross roads.

Speaker 2 (41:15):
But first of all, you can you can reach out
to your network in LA and I guarantee you they're
going to have connections in Miami.

Speaker 1 (41:21):
You can reach out to, you can. There's so many
proactive things you can be doing.

Speaker 2 (41:23):
And I think being there for your family is so
important and meaningful that it's great that you're doing that.
We spend so much time thinking about what we're not
doing instead of.

Speaker 1 (41:31):
Thinking about what we're doing.

Speaker 2 (41:33):
Like you are doing something very profound and meaningful by
being available for your family. That is meaningful, And I
would choose that any day over the week, over you know,
any of this business.

Speaker 1 (41:43):
The reality is you have to work, but you can
have it both ways.

Speaker 2 (41:46):
Like everything is possible, you just have to actually put
in the work, which might be a little bit of
like trying to figure out who would have a connection
in Miami. And yes, I love Anna's advice about trying
different things, because yeah, you could get a couple days
on another job doing something completely different, on a modeling
shoot or print shoot campaign and and and it'd be like, oh,

(42:08):
I could make a couple I could do this five
days a month when I'm here in Miami, or twenty
days a month. You can find other avenues where you're
making money. You're still in the industry you want to
be in, but you're getting another look at kind of
like various different parts of the industry, and they're.

Speaker 4 (42:22):
Gonna love that you have LA experience on your and
they're gonna be like, oh, wow, he's the real deal.

Speaker 5 (42:28):
Okay, he lived in LA and produced reality shows like
that's that's big.

Speaker 1 (42:34):
Yeah, it's cool.

Speaker 4 (42:36):
You know.

Speaker 3 (42:36):
I want you to see these three months not as
like downtime. We are not making money, but we all
know how busy a producer's life can be when you're working.
So I want you to take these three months and
think bigger, not what job could I be doing, but
what's my next career move? I mean, maybe you are

(42:56):
at the point where it's hard to save, but you
know what I think you need to be looking at
this more creatively. This is your moment to think about
what show do I maybe want to pitch, What ideas
do I have? How can I level up my career
to the point where I am making enough money that
it's easy to put money into a four oh one K.
I would also say a book I'd recommend for you

(43:18):
is You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jensen Cero,
who's been on the podcast before, and that.

Speaker 1 (43:24):
I wrote that book? Did I write it? You're very
good at it.

Speaker 4 (43:28):
I need to read this book too.

Speaker 6 (43:29):
Now.

Speaker 4 (43:30):
It's great.

Speaker 3 (43:30):
It's kind of less about like what specifically to do
and more about changing your mindset around money and fixing
especially the scarcity thing that you have going on. You've
got like very much a scarcity mindset and turning that
into like training your mind to think in terms of abundance.

Speaker 2 (43:46):
And I'm going to get to you got to start
meditating too. Like I say this to almost everybody, but
it sucking. Makes such a difference to just constantly like
there's all these mantras, guided mantras about you, and there's
I promise you if you meditate for like five days
in a row, you're going to just start to feel
a lightness and a groundedness that you didn't feel because
you're actually giving yourself that time to surround yourself with

(44:09):
whatever imagery like calms you or lights or whatever, your
whatever makes you feel protected, and like just visualizing what
is your safest environment and telling yourself, like, you've got this.

Speaker 1 (44:21):
You're the reason why you've gotten this far to begin with.

Speaker 2 (44:24):
Like you're on your own team, so just make sure
that you're always working for that team.

Speaker 7 (44:30):
Yeah. Absolutely, I used to meditate it a lot and
I need to pick it back up. You're absolutely right.
And I think I need to go to therapy again.
I know you would say that.

Speaker 2 (44:37):
Yeah, I mean everyone should be in therapy. I just
got off the phone with my therapist this morning, you guys.
I just had a nice one hour session with my
new therapist. I fucking love this woman.

Speaker 1 (44:46):
Yes, send me your contact, Okay, And right now you
have the time.

Speaker 4 (44:51):
I wanted to say one other thing.

Speaker 5 (44:52):
You're never going to look back at this time and
regret being with your family, you know, like in the
future you'll look back and be like, need to do
that dumb gig in La for like a weekend and like,
you know, stress myself out, like you'll always look back
at loving the time with your family.

Speaker 7 (45:06):
So absolutely, no, you're so right, And just.

Speaker 2 (45:08):
To remember, like I always like to think open instead
of contract, like when you're thinking about career stuff and
like dabbling in different things.

Speaker 1 (45:15):
Don't think you only do one thing.

Speaker 2 (45:17):
Think oh, what else can I do that I don't
know that I can do yet, Like what else is there?
And be very open to all the possibilities and maybe
even if it's a job opportunity, like a couple of
days work here and there on some sort of production
that isn't reality based or that you're not that familiar with,
even if it doesn't sound appealing, like I would beseech
you to just try it. You know, you don't know
what all the stuff that's out there that you're gonna

(45:39):
like until you do it, and you can cross it
off and go that's not for me.

Speaker 1 (45:42):
This is for me.

Speaker 7 (45:43):
Yeah, it's that improv rule. Yes and yes, yeah.

Speaker 5 (45:47):
Yeah, So Ariana Grande's latest song, Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (45:52):
What is it? What is it? I think I listened
to it yesterday, yes, and yes, okay, there you go, Okay.

Speaker 2 (45:59):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (45:59):
She went to say city.

Speaker 5 (46:02):
This is traumatizing for people in comedy. Why does she
need I Likedriana Grande until this song. I'm like, I can't,
I can't.

Speaker 6 (46:09):
Yeah, yeah, all right, well, thank you also so so much.
I'm taking this all to heart.

Speaker 2 (46:13):
Okay, and wey bye, Honey, take care great, Harvey's taken
care of wonderful.

Speaker 3 (46:21):
Yeah, this is like I like what you said Anna
about like it's like a teacher, like this is the
time he gets to focus on himself, do some soul searching.

Speaker 4 (46:30):
All that stuff.

Speaker 5 (46:31):
Oh my god, I wish I could work nine months
out of the year. I was like, that sounds amazing. Unemployed.

Speaker 4 (46:35):
What I'm sorry, We're.

Speaker 2 (46:38):
Going to take a break and we're going to be
right back to wrap it up, and we're back.

Speaker 1 (46:46):
We're back. Well.

Speaker 3 (46:48):
Our next question comes from Brittany, and this one's just
an email. Brittany says, Dear Chelsea, I work in a
male dominated environment, and it's all too common to hear
about committed men having affairs on their partner. I recently
learned about a guy from work, let's call him John,
who was sleeping with a girl from my work, let's
call her Jane. Neither John nor Jane are friends of mine. However,

(47:10):
I was part of a wedding party this summer with
John's wife, let's call her Sam. At this point, I
knew about John and Jane's affair, but I was under
the impression that it was short lived and had been
over for a few months. Before this wedding, I was
not friends with Sam and didn't feel like it was
my place to say anything. But then I had a
great bonding experience with Sam at the wedding and we
said we should keep in touch, and I recently learned

(47:32):
that John and Jane's affair is still ongoing. I feel
terrible for Sam. She's a wonderful person, working mother of five,
and I feel more inclined to say something at this point,
but I'm still not sure if I'm the right person
to do it, or that I should be getting involved
at all.

Speaker 1 (47:48):
I just know that if it were.

Speaker 3 (47:49):
Me in this situation, I'd want to know that my
husband was having an affair. So should I tell Sam
or should I stay out of it? Best regards brittany An,
I'll let.

Speaker 1 (47:58):
You go first on this.

Speaker 5 (48:00):
Really, yeah, I I feel like you have to tell her.
I don't know unless it's been so long you think
she even knows.

Speaker 4 (48:09):
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (48:09):
Obviously she's writing in right, it's on her chest and
she knows that deep down she probably should tell her,
but it wants to feel like, well, maybe if I don't,
life will move on and it'll be better.

Speaker 1 (48:20):
This brought back.

Speaker 5 (48:21):
I literally am like, oh my god. I had a
friend and I knew her boyfriend. She had said, I
think he's cheating on me, cheating on me. And literally
two years later I met a friend in LA and
she was the one he was cheating on. And I
connected these dots and I was like, oh, oh my god,
do I tell my friend? Like I know, she didn't
know who it was. And I'm like, oh my god,
it's someone I know. That's awful, but and I think

(48:43):
about it still. I ended up saying it after everyone.

Speaker 4 (48:46):
Was broken that no one was with the sky anymore.

Speaker 5 (48:48):
But I was like, yeah, if you know something and
you respect this person, I would say, you know, be
there for them and support them, and I would tell
them maybe I'm I don't know, it's gonna.

Speaker 1 (48:58):
Be hard either way.

Speaker 2 (48:59):
I couldn't agree with more listen as a woman, there
needs to be more honesty in this world not less honesty.

Speaker 1 (49:04):
As a woman, it is imperative.

Speaker 2 (49:06):
That we are honest with each other because we have
been short shrifted our entire existence and lie to And
as a woman, I would tell a stranger if I
knew something about her life because I would want her
to know, and she can do Listen, it's a new friend.
It's not your close friends, so whatever. If she doesn't
want to be friends with you after, then that's fine too.

(49:26):
But I think this is an opportunity for you to
show up for someone in a way that is meaningful,
because it is not fair for her to have five
children and a husband who's having an affair while she's
fucking doing everything.

Speaker 1 (49:38):
It's just not fair.

Speaker 2 (49:39):
And I don't think it's in being an interloper when
you're telling someone the truth, Like and I've had friendships
end because of telling the truth, you know, But I
will never stop telling people the truth, and I will
never stop telling women the truth. There's a feeling inside
of me, and I think many of us can relate
to it. I'm sure I know both of you are
going to agree with me that there is a sisterhood

(50:01):
and we all owe it to each other to think
of each other first before some guy. We need to
be on each other's team, and that requires sometimes difficult conversations,
but moreover, honesty.

Speaker 1 (50:13):
There is no way you can go wrong with being honest.

Speaker 5 (50:17):
Yeah, and it'll be hard at first, but you know
she'll be better for it, Like it will, she'll learn
to handle this.

Speaker 2 (50:24):
It's not going to get where she might be like
fuck you and I don't want to hear this and
I don't believe you, and it might ruin your relationship, but.

Speaker 1 (50:31):
I still would do it. I would. I would say
it's more important to be honest.

Speaker 3 (50:34):
Do you think there are any safeguards that she could
take in telling because she works with this guy, Like,
my one concern is that this is going to affect
her career negatively because she'll be known as like the
person who outed John like for having this affair.

Speaker 1 (50:50):
Yeah, I mean that's going to be an issue.

Speaker 2 (50:53):
But they're just colleagues, right, Yeah, it's not like he's
her boss or something that.

Speaker 1 (50:57):
Yeah, not as far as I mean, Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (50:59):
You know, when you get into like don't tell them
I told you, like that is all very Yeah.

Speaker 1 (51:05):
It's like it's irrelevant.

Speaker 2 (51:06):
It's almost like, yeah, I'm telling on you and you're
gonna hate me, so you're gonna just have to pony
up to that. Yeah, I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna
watch this happen. It's gross. I want to see it,
you know.

Speaker 3 (51:19):
And I think sometimes when we're carrying the weight of
someone else's secrets, we don't give enough weight to how
that affects us. Like I know someone who kept a
very similar secret to this for years, for a long
long time about something that was going on, and it
really truly impacted her.

Speaker 1 (51:34):
Health in a in a huge way.

Speaker 3 (51:36):
So I think we can't really underestimate how how impactful
carrying someone else's secrets can be.

Speaker 1 (51:42):
M Yeah, I mean she.

Speaker 4 (51:44):
Lost me when she said she had five kids, Like
she's home caring.

Speaker 5 (51:47):
For five kits and off a holiday party like looking
up with someone like stakes are raised.

Speaker 2 (51:52):
Yes, Yeah, I just don't understand these women either that
have affairs with men who have five children and have
a wife at home, Like what are you telling yourself
that this is a good this is a good karma
for you and for there's there's children involved, Like, It's
just it's gross.

Speaker 3 (52:08):
So yeah, anyway, brittany time to tattle okay.

Speaker 1 (52:13):
Anna Roisman, You've been such a delight. Anna. Tell everyone
how they can watch you find you all of your shit.

Speaker 4 (52:19):
Thanks.

Speaker 5 (52:19):
You can find me anywhere online at Anna Roisman A
N N A R O I S M A N.
I post a lot of dum celebrity impressions and stuff.
I have fun doing it, you know, especially when they
like it. When they don't like it. It's a little
touch and go. But you know, for the most.

Speaker 1 (52:35):
Part, do you get a lot of feedback from celebrities
who don't like it?

Speaker 7 (52:38):
You know.

Speaker 4 (52:39):
I used to get blocked from Instagram a lot.

Speaker 5 (52:41):
I get warnings a lot, and I think someone was
reporting me, which was scary. And that's Hilaria Baldwin. And
I'm okay with it now, you.

Speaker 1 (52:48):
Know, Laria Baldwin, what a mess.

Speaker 4 (52:52):
People think I'm her on diktok. It's a little scary.

Speaker 5 (52:54):
That was an accident. We do look alike, I guess
you can say. But oh, and I want to say.
You can listen to my podcast. It's called Big Wigs.
My friend Andrea and I do impressions together. We do
Chris and Courtney together, and we shoot the shit and
talk about things that are in pop culture and we
have fun.

Speaker 3 (53:12):
Hearing you two like do Chris and Courtney together at
each other is hysterical.

Speaker 4 (53:17):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (53:18):
Okay, Well, that's our show for today. And I hope
I see you again. I'll see you when I'm in
New York next.

Speaker 4 (53:22):
I would love that. I'll be in La also, I'll
find you. I can't wait. I gotta go out with Jamie.

Speaker 2 (53:27):
Okay, Well, good luck with everything. I love watching your success.
You're gonna love you crushing it for a long time.
So yes, I'll see you again soon. And thanks for
coming on the podcast for having me.

Speaker 4 (53:36):
You're the best.

Speaker 1 (53:37):
Yeah, thank you for sure.

Speaker 4 (53:38):
Thanks Anna.

Speaker 2 (53:39):
Bye, guys, thank you bye, okay bye, okay. So show
dates coming up Canadian show dates. These are for Canadians, guys.
I'm coming February ninth. I'll be in Winnipeg, Victoria, BC
is March eighth. Then i will be in Salt Lake
City April fourth, and Denver April fifth. I'm coming to
Arizona at Maricopa April twelfth. April thirteen, I'll be in Brooks,

(54:01):
California at the Cash Creek Casino, and then I'm going
to be in Santa Rosa Sunday, April fourteenth. I'm coming
to Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland on April twentieth, Gary, Indiana,
Prior Lake, Minnesota. Coming to Oklahoma, Norman, Oklahoma on May
third and May fourth. I will be in Thackerville, Oklahoma

(54:22):
for my rescheduled Windstar World Casino date. And I want
to make sure that I give a shout out to
our show for Netflix. As a joke Festival, I put
together a show with some of my favorite comics. It's
May eleventh at the YouTube Theater Downtown, which I've never
performed in, so that's going to be fun. It's a
pretty big I have Matteo Lane, I have Fortune Themester performing,
I have Sam Jays on the show and Vanessa Gonzale.

(54:45):
So we it is called a Jew two Mexicans, No
a Jew, two gays in a Mexican, No a Jew.
Three gays at a Mexican. So it's political correctness at
its finest. And then I will be in Verona, New
York on May twenty sixth, and then I'm coming to
Australia in July and New Zealand July fifth, Auckland and

(55:06):
I'm coming to Wellington, New Zealand.

Speaker 1 (55:08):
Melbourne, Brisbane, Sydney.

Speaker 2 (55:10):
So those are all my dates for that are up
and available, so get your tickets.

Speaker 1 (55:14):
I can't wait to see you. Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 3 (55:18):
If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email
at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be
sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited
and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and
be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot
com