July 25, 2025 • 20 mins
A followup about an 0nlyfans mishap. Then: A book club is threatened by political divides.
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Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at DearChelseaPodcast@gmail.com
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Executive Producer Catherine Law
Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, we're back.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
We're back with the minisode. We have our special guest.
Her name is Yaminika. I don't know if you've been
exposed to her yet through this podcast or through our
shows or through her Instagram.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Exposed to me, Yeah, it's exposure.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
That's what I'm I would frame thank you, and the
only reason why I'm here is fully exposure.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Catherine, what do we have on the docket for today.
Speaker 4 (00:24):
Well, we have an update from a previous caller. This
is Savannah. She had called in on our Kevin Hart episode.
She is not a person doing OnlyFans, but her dad
thought she was doing only fans because the step.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
By was spreading rumors of right exactly, stepbrother was tele
going around the family telling everybody that this girl was
on OnlyFans.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (00:44):
She had made some offhanded comment about like I wonder
how much they make or how do they do their taxes?
Speaker 1 (00:48):
And like she started telling e Ray she was doing
only fans. Oh wow. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
So the advice was to like hit it head on,
have a conversation with her. And so she's like kind
of not talking to her stepmom because she's mad at her.
So I asked for an update, She says, I have
my tail between my legs because we've continued to just
ignore each other. She lives three hours away and we
don't have to talk much anymore. I'm getting nervous as
her daughter, my stepsister, is getting married this year and
(01:14):
I want to tackle it by then August. I just
have fear over how she'll receive what I want to say.
She will shut down and get defensive and say things like, well,
I guess I'm just the worst person ever. I don't
want to pull my dad into this anymore, and I
think I just need to call her when I'm feeling brave.
I guess I just haven't been feeling brave and she
hasn't tried anything either. The advice you and Chelsea Gabe
was wonderful, and I've listened back to it to make
(01:35):
sure it lives in my head when the time for
the conversation comes. I just don't know when that would
be signed a nervous and disappointed non sex worker stepdaughter Savannah.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
No baby baby, and I know I wasn't here for
the first one who gives a crap, which is why
are you talking to your stepmother?
Speaker 4 (01:52):
Beat it?
Speaker 3 (01:53):
You told everybody in a family. I was on OnlyFans
bitch beat it. I don't understand why she gotta have
a conversation and guess what I'm gonna be at my
stepsister's wedding.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
My dad going to beat it.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
I'm a beat it unless the stepsister tell you to
beat it, and then you know what a step sister lie.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I don't understand this nonsense of I got to tackle.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
This conversation with a woman that you already know is
going to be defensive, and it's passive aggressive and playing
the victim.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Beat it lady.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
So that's me updating you, giving you updated advice.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
That's better advice than I gave the first time around.
Quite frankly, I mean.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yeah, fuck her.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I think the girl was upset because her her dad
actually was like believing the mother, but also exactly like,
fuck off. If you're spreading rumors about me like that,
that aren't true. If there's no basis, like a fact,
and then.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
No, fuck off, it's right fuck off.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
So new advice, Savannah, Just fuck her. Yeah, So we
do have a caller today, Ashley writes in her subject
line is politics are destroying my book club. Dear tell
I'm part of a six woman book club that consists
of the following demographic politically, one MAGA, three Liberal Dems,
(03:07):
one moderate DEM think Bill maher DEM this is me,
and one extremely woke progressive. We live in Seattle, however,
all the Dems are transplants from California and the magafan
is a transplant from Idaho. I was homesick during our
last gathering in early February when a notable fight erupted
over the current Trump administration's work since taking office. It
resulted in the Mega individual leaving the gathering in tears,
(03:29):
and one remaining progressive in three liberals agreeing to kick
her out of.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
The book club.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
When we planned our next meetup, I inquired about talking
to Maga and moving the group forward without her. I
received backlash from the progressives that she was not worthy
of feedback given her values. I disagree with this. Kicking
someone out of a club they've been in for six
years with no feedback, then continuing to post about it
on social media is a textbook form of high school bullying.
We're thirty seven, Grow the fuck up, and yes we've
(03:56):
already tried, agreed to disagree, and don't talk politics in
our book club. However, it's difficult to avoid these topics
in twenty twenty five. I do not believe in cancel culture,
nor do I believe in ghosting. And while I've spent
my entire life residing in coastal elite quote unquote areas,
I have a handful of family members who voted for
Trump that I would never dream of cutting out of
my life. I feel strongly that further segregation of our
(04:17):
two communities is compounding the current issues we're facing in America. Finally,
this has raised some questions for me about my liberal
friends who are more than happy to continue life in
their own political bubble and dump someone just because they
don't share their beliefs. As it stands, I'm wondering if
I should excuse myself from the group altogether.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Ashley sounds like a Supreme Court situation here. I mean,
the liberals, progressive, this is a hard day moderate, and
then a maga, okay, gop it hi, Hi, how are you, Chelsea?
Speaker 5 (04:44):
I'm will How are you?
Speaker 1 (04:45):
So? I don't know? I mean, what do you think?
I feel like? Do you want me to go first?
I think we're gonna go? Okay, yeah, yeah, you go first?
You want me to go. You go first.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
I mean, I'm in a book club, so we try.
You know, this book club is really centered. Any of
the book clubs I've ever been in have been centered
around people that are sort of like minded in ways. Right,
there's something that's threading us together. And I feel like
when we've had dissension in the club, it's probably somebody.
You know, people didn't like somebody or whatever it was.
So I've seen people come and go in book clubs
(05:15):
and you just go into another damn book club.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
I think it's unfortunate that it did get political.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
I think the issue probably right now is I understand
like you have people in your family that you would
never turn away from even though they voted for Donald Trump,
and I think you have the capacity to do that
right now. For me, if I'm honest in this time,
being a woman and being a black woman, I think
it's a matter of life or death for me when
(05:41):
I start to see people that are saying certain things
about certain values and people being less than human or
having to go back to places that they never even
would from, you.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Know, it becomes life or death.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
So then I do look at people during this time
very differently than maybe I.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Did when we all, you know, I didn't agree that,
you know.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
George Bush Junior was president, Like, there was no way
I would have ever gotten rid of somebody because they
voted for him.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
But we're talking for me right now.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
The president we have is very dangerous to people like me,
and so it's like a matter of life or death.
And I can see how people are getting crunchy in
that time, and I think maybe if this is going
to cause you a tear, you may have to just
go to another place, you know what I'm saying, Because
when one of the things about the book clubs are
like we respect each other's opinions, you know, even about
(06:31):
the interpretation of books, you know, interpretations of words and
what the authors are saying or what the point of
the story is. And if you can't really have respect
for somebody on the basis of something about their point
of view politically, I think it's going to be hard
for you to respect them in anything that they have
to say about literature.
Speaker 5 (06:48):
I think that's a really interesting perspective just about the
point of the book club obviously is to respect each
other's opinions because you're going to have different opinions about
how you interpret things that you read, etc. I think
what was really interesting for me is this all came
up so your book, I think Chelsea came out in February,
so I was traveling and reading your book around the
(07:09):
time that this happened. And obviously I'm thinking of certain
chapters in your book that come to mind because there's
a theme of sisterhood right in your book, about being
able to have tough conversations respectfully. I'm thinking of the
Jane Fondae chapter right, your friend who partied a little
too hard, who ended up pursuing their sobriety right how?
And so to me, I think the bigger issue is,
(07:30):
are we now at a place in life like if
these are your my friends? Are we now at a
place in life where if we have a disagreement with someone,
we don't give them the basic decency and respect of
having a tough conversation and explaining why you want a
relationship to end or why you don't agree about something.
I think that's more what I'm struggling with in terms
of the underlying values. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yeah, that does make sense, And it's like it's it
seems like it's just really up to you, you know
what I mean, it's really a personal decision, Like do
you want to I mean, you can always reach out
to this woman and give it to her straight as
a sister, you know, in the name of sisterhood, Like
take it upon yourself to be like listen, I mean,
what is your understanding of the whole situation? What does
she what is your understanding of her understanding?
Speaker 5 (08:15):
Well, I think she lives in her own media bubble, right,
so she consumes what she wants to consume, and so
she ironically is the one. So book club existed before Covid, right,
So started in twenty eighteen ish, right, And obviously Trump
was protident then, and so we were we have kind
of agree to disagree, and we don't talk politics at
book club rule, and we you know, we're not reading
(08:37):
like seriously political books and book club right, these are
like she fun uplifting, let's drink wine books. So we
paused hiatus in twenty twenty, got back together after you know,
Pete Covid, and we just continued from there. I mean,
Trump was out of office, so it didn't really come up.
But since he has been back in office and obviously
with the election last year, she's often the one who
(08:59):
brings up politics, knowing that she's the only Trump supporter
in the group. So that's where it's also been agitating.
She comes from a place of I want to learn,
I want to hear your opinion, I want to understand
your viewpoints, which I think we all welcome having conversations,
even if they might be uncomfortable and respectfully, but it
(09:21):
comes from kind of the Fox News lens of anytime
we engage in the conversation, it's like, well, what about
when Hillary did it?
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Right?
Speaker 5 (09:30):
She just follows that like media playbooked, and so the
conversations end up being not productive.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Yeah, I think that's the bottom line. Is it a
productive Like it's nice to be able to extend your
tolerance to someone who has a different viewpoint if you
can have productive conversations, and I don't mean just by
getting them to understand what you believe. I mean actually
having productive, thought provoking conversations and being open to new
(09:57):
ideas and new information on both sides. So I mean,
if she is bringing up politics, it's kind of like
she that's the reason she's not in the group, You
know what I mean? You're not there to talk about politics.
You just said that, and you guys all understand that,
and especially her being like the only MAGA person, of course,
she's going to feel outnumbered and want to, like, you
(10:18):
know what a dog does to like mark their territory,
to almost just establish some sort of like you're not
going to roll me over or rollover, you know, like
she's probably trying to establish some sort of dominance or
just a placeholder at the very minimum. But it's just
it's a matter of what does she think that happened?
Does she know what it is that she got mixed
(10:38):
from the group?
Speaker 5 (10:39):
Well, yeah, so interestingly, so I was traveling in miss
last book club, but I guess she announced to the
group that she's just going to move to Texas because
living in Seattle is pointless and she can't date anyone
here because none of they're too liberal and too woke.
Speaker 4 (10:54):
Bro.
Speaker 5 (10:54):
Yeah, so it's just like, Okay, that's the solution, just
moved to a red state.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
And but that's her though, Like you can't blame your
other Brook club friends who are the liberals and progressives.
You can't blame them for her. She's from what you're
telling me, she is an agitator, not just because she's
a Republican or a maga or whatever. She keeps bringing
it up like that's not that she knows.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
That's not the forum for that kind And I want
you to see.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
Where you keep aligning yourself with her, which I think
is the biggest problem. Stop aligning yourself with her. You
keep having this pity for her for whatever reason, right,
And it's like she doesn't deserve any pity. And where
she comes into a situation and she's trying to antagonize
it and agitate it. And most certainly if there's a
(11:41):
constant conversation about what she feels, you know, with this
current presidency and all of this stuff, and nobody's bringing
that up, maybe she should go somewhere where people are
willing to engage her in that conversation.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
I think what you're saying is like, you have a
set of principles, and that's great. You can still gage
with people who are Trump supporters, and you can still
talk to your family members. But this instance, like this instance,
this woman has kind of caused her removal from the
book club. It sounds like, so while you have your principles,
you can still hold on to those and remain in
(12:15):
your book club. She just kind of worked outside the lines.
Like that doesn't change that you're open to talking to
people who have different political beliefs.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
And it sounds like she's still in the club, isn't she,
Because how is she making all these announcements.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Is she out the club?
Speaker 5 (12:28):
Yeah, she's she's engaged with us still.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
I mean, okay, that's what I'm saying. Okay, y'all got
to really show her. She just sounds like.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
A pain in the ass, regardless of her political alignment,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Yeah, And you've seen.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
The sun and cool and upbeat, and I know you
seem like you got sympathy for this lady with Shaka off.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Yeah, and focus on other Trump like supporters that are
more you know that you can have conversations with that
don't surround politics.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
You know.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
I totally am with you that it would be nice
to be having in conversation with people who are different
from different political beliefs. But unfortunately, I feel like Yamnika
feels like I feel like it is a deal breaker.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Chelsea.
Speaker 5 (13:01):
So you mentioned recently on your social media that you
have some family. I believe, correct me if I'm wrong,
but who don't share your political beliefs as well, and
maybe supporters of Trump, if I recall.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
They're not Trump supporters, but they are conservative. I don't
know that they voted for Trump. Nobody has admitted to
voting for Trump. Nobody would admit that to me and
my family. But there are supporters of more conservative politics,
and you know, arguments about affirmative action, arguments about Russia, Ukraine,
who's really at fault? There things that I find intolerable
(13:34):
and propaganda, you know, and I don't, And so I
draw the line at like, if you're spewing conspiracy theories,
I'm not interested in being around that, And that's for
me a personal thing that I've just you know, I
don't want that. I don't want that toxicity around me.
I want to talk about things that are actually happening.
So I have a different set of values. But I
like your principle. I think I totally support that for you,
(13:57):
But I think this woman is just kind of outside
of that.
Speaker 5 (14:00):
What I'm saying there, Yeah, and I think this is validating.
I think the reason I loved your most recent book
as well, Chelsea, is because I kind of followed have
followed the same trajectory in my life, where ten years
ago I would have told someone to fuck off and
never spoken to them again if they even irritated me
a little bit. Right, And I have spent some years
in therapy after COVID lockdowns and whatnot, and I'm now
(14:21):
working to be a better person in terms of tough
conversations and whatnot, and almost feel sometimes I air a
little bit too far on the other side. Right, I've
gone from one pendulum to the other of giving people
passes on things or feeling like, well, how am I
playing a part in this if someone is being an antagonist?
So it's nice to hear this perspective and get a
(14:42):
little clarity on this. So thank you.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Yeah, And if you wanted, like if you want to
show in a strength of sisterhood or a demonstration of sisterhood,
like if you want to shoot her an email and
go listen. I'm sorry that this didn't work out with
the book club, but I just want you to know,
like you kept bringing up politics in a place that
is not.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Supposed to be.
Speaker 6 (14:57):
It's supposed to be politically free, Like if you.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Want to extend that to her, you can, But I
wouldn't feel terrible about her not being in the book
club anymore. Like I would let that go. It's not
our job to like, you know, it's not everything. It's like,
I think the great thing about getting older is understanding
when and where to have those lines, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
And she might have tapped out on her reading source.
I mean, if she voted for Trump, how many books
could she really get?
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Hustle down? Trump supporters read too? Okay, well, yeah, c
spot run.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
They won't be reading for long though, because there'll be
no books left to read.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
So there's that.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
There's that reassurance to the other girls.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
You can tell the progressive that.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
But anyway, Yeah, I appreciate your call, and I appreciate
what you're saying, and I understand, but I think you
should let this one go and like focus on that
principle that you have in a in a more constructive
in other areas of your life where it will be
met with the same thing.
Speaker 5 (15:53):
Yeah, No, I appreciate it. Thank you, Chelsea. Catherine gokay
again in your book next in our.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Book clubat great Well, she should read that, you know,
bring it back for that.
Speaker 5 (16:03):
Yeah, last book from Texas when we take.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Care by bye.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
One of the funniest things about the MAGA contingent for
me is like, like this woman, they won, and they're
still fucking crying about it, like they're still feeling like
a victim.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
I don't get.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
Because I mean the fact that anybody it's for me,
it's been almost mum is the word. But maybe, like
Chelsea said, anybody gonna say nothing to me about Voo,
But I like, people are scared to say anything. I
haven't heard anybody speaking Spanish and at least what since
January people scared to speak is Spanish. I'm telling you,
they don't know what's going to happen. They send it
people to L Salvador. It's from Maryland, and shit, I'm
(16:46):
from Maryland. Next thing, you know, I bet an L Salvador.
I mean it's a rough time, you know what I mean.
And so she's she's fortunate. This woman is fortunate that
she has the luxury to concern herself with the feelings
of a Trump supporter.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
I don't have that.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
And this time, what it means to be maga is
to it means to be supporting white supremacy, you know,
stopping a lot of stuff it's very bad times with people,
especially people of color, and I can't be playing around
with anybody that's over there supporting it, because that means
you have no regard for my life or whatever I
got going on. You want to do nothing but take
(17:23):
from me. I can't be around that. You're dangerous to be.
You're a predator.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Yeah, I agree with you. I mean, i'm with I'm
kind of like, I don't have time for it. I'm
not talking, I just don't have time for that. It's
too ugly out right now. It's too ugly, and people
are being like, what's happening is unforgivable, it's disgusting. So no,
I'm not interested in hearing especially Maga.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
You know like that.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
That's like another level of fuck off.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
So you're right though, anyway, this shit, let's wrap it up.
That was a long minisode.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Sure, I feel like longer than a shower.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Okay, don't say that that means you to enjoy me.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
I always enjoy you, of course I do. I just
I hate thinking about all this stuff all.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
The time, dude, And why do you do it so well? Though?
Speaker 2 (18:07):
You give that I just you know, I just the
Maga thing really upsets me, like it fucking brings me down,
like that people are so fucking far removed, you know,
Like that's the idea that somebody's too liberal, and the
idea that like being open minded and aware of like the.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Future is a bad thing.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Saying yes to trans people is a bad thing, like
like history has shown us over and over again, especially
like there's this contingency of gay people who are not
pro trans and it's like, I find that you.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Got gay people who are racist.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
Listen, what I keep telling you is this, Chelsea, It's
like this right, this is a prime example. It's not you.
You want to do certain things, you want the doubt
to move. But I keep telling you, we got to
have these conversations because there's a lot of dumb motherfuckers
out here.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
That don't get it.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
And more importantly, the worst part is some of them
get that what they're doing is racist or homophobic or
all of this shit, and they just don't care because
it's not them.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Do you understand?
Speaker 3 (19:08):
People are very selfish and that's when the conversations have
to keep being had.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
And yeah, it, where's you out? I get it?
Speaker 3 (19:14):
You get tired, I'm your Hey, I'm doing my part.
I'm not over here being a racist asshole, But imagine now,
you gotta live as a person that has to navigate
around people with mental disorders of race being racist.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
That's uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
That is a mental disorder. That's a great, great way
to frame it. Racism is a mental disorder. If you
really believe Wait not laughing.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
It's true. It's fucking mental disorder.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
If you really believe someone who has a different skin
color is less valuable, that is a mental disorder.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
A mental disorder, and starting bye bye, bye bye.
Speaker 6 (19:53):
So I added a couple of new dates. I'm not
on tour yet, but I added a couple of dance
just because I felt like we need a little bit
more laughter and a little bit more medicine for the
end of the year. And I was wrapping things up,
but I thought, maybe let me do a couple more.
So I'm adding three more dates in addition to my
Vegas residency. I'm doing Westhampton Beach August twenty first, I'm
headlining the Rochester Fringe Comedy Festival September thirteenth, and I
(20:18):
will be in NAPA on October third, So those will
be my last dates.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Of the year.
Speaker 4 (20:24):
Do you want advice from Chelsea? Right into Dear Chelsea
Podcast at gmail dot com. Find full video episodes of
Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod.
Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive
producer Catherine law And be sure to check out our
merch at Chelseahandler dot com
Hi, we're back.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
We're back with the minisode. We have our special guest.
Her name is Yaminika. I don't know if you've been
exposed to her yet through this podcast or through our
shows or through her Instagram.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Exposed to me, Yeah, it's exposure.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
That's what I'm I would frame thank you, and the
only reason why I'm here is fully exposure.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Catherine, what do we have on the docket for today.
Speaker 4 (00:24):
Well, we have an update from a previous caller. This
is Savannah. She had called in on our Kevin Hart episode.
She is not a person doing OnlyFans, but her dad
thought she was doing only fans because the step.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
By was spreading rumors of right exactly, stepbrother was tele
going around the family telling everybody that this girl was
on OnlyFans.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (00:44):
She had made some offhanded comment about like I wonder
how much they make or how do they do their taxes?
Speaker 1 (00:48):
And like she started telling e Ray she was doing
only fans. Oh wow. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
So the advice was to like hit it head on,
have a conversation with her. And so she's like kind
of not talking to her stepmom because she's mad at her.
So I asked for an update, She says, I have
my tail between my legs because we've continued to just
ignore each other. She lives three hours away and we
don't have to talk much anymore. I'm getting nervous as
her daughter, my stepsister, is getting married this year and
(01:14):
I want to tackle it by then August. I just
have fear over how she'll receive what I want to say.
She will shut down and get defensive and say things like, well,
I guess I'm just the worst person ever. I don't
want to pull my dad into this anymore, and I
think I just need to call her when I'm feeling brave.
I guess I just haven't been feeling brave and she
hasn't tried anything either. The advice you and Chelsea Gabe
was wonderful, and I've listened back to it to make
(01:35):
sure it lives in my head when the time for
the conversation comes. I just don't know when that would
be signed a nervous and disappointed non sex worker stepdaughter Savannah.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
No baby baby, and I know I wasn't here for
the first one who gives a crap, which is why
are you talking to your stepmother?
Speaker 4 (01:52):
Beat it?
Speaker 3 (01:53):
You told everybody in a family. I was on OnlyFans
bitch beat it. I don't understand why she gotta have
a conversation and guess what I'm gonna be at my
stepsister's wedding.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
My dad going to beat it.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
I'm a beat it unless the stepsister tell you to
beat it, and then you know what a step sister lie.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I don't understand this nonsense of I got to tackle.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
This conversation with a woman that you already know is
going to be defensive, and it's passive aggressive and playing
the victim.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Beat it lady.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
So that's me updating you, giving you updated advice.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
That's better advice than I gave the first time around.
Quite frankly, I mean.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yeah, fuck her.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I think the girl was upset because her her dad
actually was like believing the mother, but also exactly like,
fuck off. If you're spreading rumors about me like that,
that aren't true. If there's no basis, like a fact,
and then.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
No, fuck off, it's right fuck off.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
So new advice, Savannah, Just fuck her. Yeah, So we
do have a caller today, Ashley writes in her subject
line is politics are destroying my book club. Dear tell
I'm part of a six woman book club that consists
of the following demographic politically, one MAGA, three Liberal Dems,
(03:07):
one moderate DEM think Bill maher DEM this is me,
and one extremely woke progressive. We live in Seattle, however,
all the Dems are transplants from California and the magafan
is a transplant from Idaho. I was homesick during our
last gathering in early February when a notable fight erupted
over the current Trump administration's work since taking office. It
resulted in the Mega individual leaving the gathering in tears,
(03:29):
and one remaining progressive in three liberals agreeing to kick
her out of.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
The book club.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
When we planned our next meetup, I inquired about talking
to Maga and moving the group forward without her. I
received backlash from the progressives that she was not worthy
of feedback given her values. I disagree with this. Kicking
someone out of a club they've been in for six
years with no feedback, then continuing to post about it
on social media is a textbook form of high school bullying.
We're thirty seven, Grow the fuck up, and yes we've
(03:56):
already tried, agreed to disagree, and don't talk politics in
our book club. However, it's difficult to avoid these topics
in twenty twenty five. I do not believe in cancel culture,
nor do I believe in ghosting. And while I've spent
my entire life residing in coastal elite quote unquote areas,
I have a handful of family members who voted for
Trump that I would never dream of cutting out of
my life. I feel strongly that further segregation of our
(04:17):
two communities is compounding the current issues we're facing in America. Finally,
this has raised some questions for me about my liberal
friends who are more than happy to continue life in
their own political bubble and dump someone just because they
don't share their beliefs. As it stands, I'm wondering if
I should excuse myself from the group altogether.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Ashley sounds like a Supreme Court situation here. I mean,
the liberals, progressive, this is a hard day moderate, and
then a maga, okay, gop it hi, Hi, how are you, Chelsea?
Speaker 5 (04:44):
I'm will How are you?
Speaker 1 (04:45):
So? I don't know? I mean, what do you think?
I feel like? Do you want me to go first?
I think we're gonna go? Okay, yeah, yeah, you go first?
You want me to go. You go first.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
I mean, I'm in a book club, so we try.
You know, this book club is really centered. Any of
the book clubs I've ever been in have been centered
around people that are sort of like minded in ways. Right,
there's something that's threading us together. And I feel like
when we've had dissension in the club, it's probably somebody.
You know, people didn't like somebody or whatever it was.
So I've seen people come and go in book clubs
(05:15):
and you just go into another damn book club.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
I think it's unfortunate that it did get political.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
I think the issue probably right now is I understand
like you have people in your family that you would
never turn away from even though they voted for Donald Trump,
and I think you have the capacity to do that
right now. For me, if I'm honest in this time,
being a woman and being a black woman, I think
it's a matter of life or death for me when
(05:41):
I start to see people that are saying certain things
about certain values and people being less than human or
having to go back to places that they never even
would from, you.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Know, it becomes life or death.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
So then I do look at people during this time
very differently than maybe I.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Did when we all, you know, I didn't agree that,
you know.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
George Bush Junior was president, Like, there was no way
I would have ever gotten rid of somebody because they
voted for him.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
But we're talking for me right now.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
The president we have is very dangerous to people like me,
and so it's like a matter of life or death.
And I can see how people are getting crunchy in
that time, and I think maybe if this is going
to cause you a tear, you may have to just
go to another place, you know what I'm saying, Because
when one of the things about the book clubs are
like we respect each other's opinions, you know, even about
(06:31):
the interpretation of books, you know, interpretations of words and
what the authors are saying or what the point of
the story is. And if you can't really have respect
for somebody on the basis of something about their point
of view politically, I think it's going to be hard
for you to respect them in anything that they have
to say about literature.
Speaker 5 (06:48):
I think that's a really interesting perspective just about the
point of the book club obviously is to respect each
other's opinions because you're going to have different opinions about
how you interpret things that you read, etc. I think
what was really interesting for me is this all came
up so your book, I think Chelsea came out in February,
so I was traveling and reading your book around the
(07:09):
time that this happened. And obviously I'm thinking of certain
chapters in your book that come to mind because there's
a theme of sisterhood right in your book, about being
able to have tough conversations respectfully. I'm thinking of the
Jane Fondae chapter right, your friend who partied a little
too hard, who ended up pursuing their sobriety right how?
And so to me, I think the bigger issue is,
(07:30):
are we now at a place in life like if
these are your my friends? Are we now at a
place in life where if we have a disagreement with someone,
we don't give them the basic decency and respect of
having a tough conversation and explaining why you want a
relationship to end or why you don't agree about something.
I think that's more what I'm struggling with in terms
of the underlying values. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yeah, that does make sense, And it's like it's it
seems like it's just really up to you, you know
what I mean, it's really a personal decision, Like do
you want to I mean, you can always reach out
to this woman and give it to her straight as
a sister, you know, in the name of sisterhood, Like
take it upon yourself to be like listen, I mean,
what is your understanding of the whole situation? What does
she what is your understanding of her understanding?
Speaker 5 (08:15):
Well, I think she lives in her own media bubble, right,
so she consumes what she wants to consume, and so
she ironically is the one. So book club existed before Covid, right,
So started in twenty eighteen ish, right, And obviously Trump
was protident then, and so we were we have kind
of agree to disagree, and we don't talk politics at
book club rule, and we you know, we're not reading
(08:37):
like seriously political books and book club right, these are
like she fun uplifting, let's drink wine books. So we
paused hiatus in twenty twenty, got back together after you know,
Pete Covid, and we just continued from there. I mean,
Trump was out of office, so it didn't really come up.
But since he has been back in office and obviously
with the election last year, she's often the one who
(08:59):
brings up politics, knowing that she's the only Trump supporter
in the group. So that's where it's also been agitating.
She comes from a place of I want to learn,
I want to hear your opinion, I want to understand
your viewpoints, which I think we all welcome having conversations,
even if they might be uncomfortable and respectfully, but it
(09:21):
comes from kind of the Fox News lens of anytime
we engage in the conversation, it's like, well, what about
when Hillary did it?
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Right?
Speaker 5 (09:30):
She just follows that like media playbooked, and so the
conversations end up being not productive.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Yeah, I think that's the bottom line. Is it a
productive Like it's nice to be able to extend your
tolerance to someone who has a different viewpoint if you
can have productive conversations, and I don't mean just by
getting them to understand what you believe. I mean actually
having productive, thought provoking conversations and being open to new
(09:57):
ideas and new information on both sides. So I mean,
if she is bringing up politics, it's kind of like
she that's the reason she's not in the group, You
know what I mean? You're not there to talk about politics.
You just said that, and you guys all understand that,
and especially her being like the only MAGA person, of course,
she's going to feel outnumbered and want to, like, you
(10:18):
know what a dog does to like mark their territory,
to almost just establish some sort of like you're not
going to roll me over or rollover, you know, like
she's probably trying to establish some sort of dominance or
just a placeholder at the very minimum. But it's just
it's a matter of what does she think that happened?
Does she know what it is that she got mixed
(10:38):
from the group?
Speaker 5 (10:39):
Well, yeah, so interestingly, so I was traveling in miss
last book club, but I guess she announced to the
group that she's just going to move to Texas because
living in Seattle is pointless and she can't date anyone
here because none of they're too liberal and too woke.
Speaker 4 (10:54):
Bro.
Speaker 5 (10:54):
Yeah, so it's just like, Okay, that's the solution, just
moved to a red state.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
And but that's her though, Like you can't blame your
other Brook club friends who are the liberals and progressives.
You can't blame them for her. She's from what you're
telling me, she is an agitator, not just because she's
a Republican or a maga or whatever. She keeps bringing
it up like that's not that she knows.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
That's not the forum for that kind And I want
you to see.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
Where you keep aligning yourself with her, which I think
is the biggest problem. Stop aligning yourself with her. You
keep having this pity for her for whatever reason, right,
And it's like she doesn't deserve any pity. And where
she comes into a situation and she's trying to antagonize
it and agitate it. And most certainly if there's a
(11:41):
constant conversation about what she feels, you know, with this
current presidency and all of this stuff, and nobody's bringing
that up, maybe she should go somewhere where people are
willing to engage her in that conversation.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
I think what you're saying is like, you have a
set of principles, and that's great. You can still gage
with people who are Trump supporters, and you can still
talk to your family members. But this instance, like this instance,
this woman has kind of caused her removal from the
book club. It sounds like, so while you have your principles,
you can still hold on to those and remain in
(12:15):
your book club. She just kind of worked outside the lines.
Like that doesn't change that you're open to talking to
people who have different political beliefs.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
And it sounds like she's still in the club, isn't she,
Because how is she making all these announcements.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Is she out the club?
Speaker 5 (12:28):
Yeah, she's she's engaged with us still.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
I mean, okay, that's what I'm saying. Okay, y'all got
to really show her. She just sounds like.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
A pain in the ass, regardless of her political alignment,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Yeah, And you've seen.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
The sun and cool and upbeat, and I know you
seem like you got sympathy for this lady with Shaka off.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Yeah, and focus on other Trump like supporters that are
more you know that you can have conversations with that
don't surround politics.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
You know.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
I totally am with you that it would be nice
to be having in conversation with people who are different
from different political beliefs. But unfortunately, I feel like Yamnika
feels like I feel like it is a deal breaker.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Chelsea.
Speaker 5 (13:01):
So you mentioned recently on your social media that you
have some family. I believe, correct me if I'm wrong,
but who don't share your political beliefs as well, and
maybe supporters of Trump, if I recall.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
They're not Trump supporters, but they are conservative. I don't
know that they voted for Trump. Nobody has admitted to
voting for Trump. Nobody would admit that to me and
my family. But there are supporters of more conservative politics,
and you know, arguments about affirmative action, arguments about Russia, Ukraine,
who's really at fault? There things that I find intolerable
(13:34):
and propaganda, you know, and I don't, And so I
draw the line at like, if you're spewing conspiracy theories,
I'm not interested in being around that, And that's for
me a personal thing that I've just you know, I
don't want that. I don't want that toxicity around me.
I want to talk about things that are actually happening.
So I have a different set of values. But I
like your principle. I think I totally support that for you,
(13:57):
But I think this woman is just kind of outside
of that.
Speaker 5 (14:00):
What I'm saying there, Yeah, and I think this is validating.
I think the reason I loved your most recent book
as well, Chelsea, is because I kind of followed have
followed the same trajectory in my life, where ten years
ago I would have told someone to fuck off and
never spoken to them again if they even irritated me
a little bit. Right, And I have spent some years
in therapy after COVID lockdowns and whatnot, and I'm now
(14:21):
working to be a better person in terms of tough
conversations and whatnot, and almost feel sometimes I air a
little bit too far on the other side. Right, I've
gone from one pendulum to the other of giving people
passes on things or feeling like, well, how am I
playing a part in this if someone is being an antagonist?
So it's nice to hear this perspective and get a
(14:42):
little clarity on this. So thank you.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Yeah, And if you wanted, like if you want to
show in a strength of sisterhood or a demonstration of sisterhood,
like if you want to shoot her an email and
go listen. I'm sorry that this didn't work out with
the book club, but I just want you to know,
like you kept bringing up politics in a place that
is not.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Supposed to be.
Speaker 6 (14:57):
It's supposed to be politically free, Like if you.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Want to extend that to her, you can, But I
wouldn't feel terrible about her not being in the book
club anymore. Like I would let that go. It's not
our job to like, you know, it's not everything. It's like,
I think the great thing about getting older is understanding
when and where to have those lines, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
And she might have tapped out on her reading source.
I mean, if she voted for Trump, how many books
could she really get?
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Hustle down? Trump supporters read too? Okay, well, yeah, c
spot run.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
They won't be reading for long though, because there'll be
no books left to read.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
So there's that.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
There's that reassurance to the other girls.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
You can tell the progressive that.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
But anyway, Yeah, I appreciate your call, and I appreciate
what you're saying, and I understand, but I think you
should let this one go and like focus on that
principle that you have in a in a more constructive
in other areas of your life where it will be
met with the same thing.
Speaker 5 (15:53):
Yeah, No, I appreciate it. Thank you, Chelsea. Catherine gokay
again in your book next in our.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Book clubat great Well, she should read that, you know,
bring it back for that.
Speaker 5 (16:03):
Yeah, last book from Texas when we take.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Care by bye.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
One of the funniest things about the MAGA contingent for
me is like, like this woman, they won, and they're
still fucking crying about it, like they're still feeling like
a victim.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
I don't get.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
Because I mean the fact that anybody it's for me,
it's been almost mum is the word. But maybe, like
Chelsea said, anybody gonna say nothing to me about Voo,
But I like, people are scared to say anything. I
haven't heard anybody speaking Spanish and at least what since
January people scared to speak is Spanish. I'm telling you,
they don't know what's going to happen. They send it
people to L Salvador. It's from Maryland, and shit, I'm
(16:46):
from Maryland. Next thing, you know, I bet an L Salvador.
I mean it's a rough time, you know what I mean.
And so she's she's fortunate. This woman is fortunate that
she has the luxury to concern herself with the feelings
of a Trump supporter.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
I don't have that.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
And this time, what it means to be maga is
to it means to be supporting white supremacy, you know,
stopping a lot of stuff it's very bad times with people,
especially people of color, and I can't be playing around
with anybody that's over there supporting it, because that means
you have no regard for my life or whatever I
got going on. You want to do nothing but take
(17:23):
from me. I can't be around that. You're dangerous to be.
You're a predator.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Yeah, I agree with you. I mean, i'm with I'm
kind of like, I don't have time for it. I'm
not talking, I just don't have time for that. It's
too ugly out right now. It's too ugly, and people
are being like, what's happening is unforgivable, it's disgusting. So no,
I'm not interested in hearing especially Maga.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
You know like that.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
That's like another level of fuck off.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
So you're right though, anyway, this shit, let's wrap it up.
That was a long minisode.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Sure, I feel like longer than a shower.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Okay, don't say that that means you to enjoy me.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
I always enjoy you, of course I do. I just
I hate thinking about all this stuff all.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
The time, dude, And why do you do it so well? Though?
Speaker 2 (18:07):
You give that I just you know, I just the
Maga thing really upsets me, like it fucking brings me down,
like that people are so fucking far removed, you know,
Like that's the idea that somebody's too liberal, and the
idea that like being open minded and aware of like the.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Future is a bad thing.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Saying yes to trans people is a bad thing, like
like history has shown us over and over again, especially
like there's this contingency of gay people who are not
pro trans and it's like, I find that you.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Got gay people who are racist.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
Listen, what I keep telling you is this, Chelsea, It's
like this right, this is a prime example. It's not you.
You want to do certain things, you want the doubt
to move. But I keep telling you, we got to
have these conversations because there's a lot of dumb motherfuckers
out here.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
That don't get it.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
And more importantly, the worst part is some of them
get that what they're doing is racist or homophobic or
all of this shit, and they just don't care because
it's not them.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Do you understand?
Speaker 3 (19:08):
People are very selfish and that's when the conversations have
to keep being had.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
And yeah, it, where's you out? I get it?
Speaker 3 (19:14):
You get tired, I'm your Hey, I'm doing my part.
I'm not over here being a racist asshole, But imagine now,
you gotta live as a person that has to navigate
around people with mental disorders of race being racist.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
That's uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
That is a mental disorder. That's a great, great way
to frame it. Racism is a mental disorder. If you
really believe Wait not laughing.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
It's true. It's fucking mental disorder.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
If you really believe someone who has a different skin
color is less valuable, that is a mental disorder.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
A mental disorder, and starting bye bye, bye bye.
Speaker 6 (19:53):
So I added a couple of new dates. I'm not
on tour yet, but I added a couple of dance
just because I felt like we need a little bit
more laughter and a little bit more medicine for the
end of the year. And I was wrapping things up,
but I thought, maybe let me do a couple more.
So I'm adding three more dates in addition to my
Vegas residency. I'm doing Westhampton Beach August twenty first, I'm
headlining the Rochester Fringe Comedy Festival September thirteenth, and I
(20:18):
will be in NAPA on October third, So those will
be my last dates.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Of the year.
Speaker 4 (20:24):
Do you want advice from Chelsea? Right into Dear Chelsea
Podcast at gmail dot com. Find full video episodes of
Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod.
Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive
producer Catherine law And be sure to check out our
merch at Chelseahandler dot com
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