October 30, 2025 • 58 mins
Author Nicholas Sparks (The Notebook) joins Chelsea to talk about why he kept his day job even after a million-dollar book advance, the weirdest places someone’s proposed in front of him, and the everyday stuff that romantic gestures are really made of. Then: A freelance writer wonders if she’ll ever be able to write something for herself instead of just The Man. A memoirist struggles to revisit her writing. And a sister reconnects with an estranged family member, but worries the secret will destroy her parents.
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Pick up a copy of Nicholas Sparks’ new book REMAIN!
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Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at DearChelseaPodcast@gmail.com
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Executive Producer Catherine Law
Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I just announced all my tour dates. They just went
on sale. It's called the High and Mighty Tour. I
will be starting debuting my new material in February of
next year, So I'm coming to Washington, d c Norfolk, Virginia, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus,
and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago,
(00:27):
of Course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Masa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri,
Saint Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham,
North of Carolina, Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modesto, California, and
(00:48):
port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington.
I will be touring from February through June. Those are
the cities that I'm in, So go get your tickets
now if you want good seats and you want to
come see me perform.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
I will be on the High and Mighty Tour.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Hi, Gatherine, Hi, Chelsea. I publishedn'tays, but Happy Halloween.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Oh god, I was trying to be a flying Hall
on Halloween so that I wouldn't have to show up
at any parties.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
I mean, I'm not going to show up at any parties.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Somebody invited me to a party with like that Severance
logo and it was the bottom half of my head
and the top half of Severance, and I was like,
I hope this is just the invitation.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
For me and not the whole party. But no, I
don't you know how I feel about Halloween.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Dude, You're not a dresser upper.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
No not.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Are you looking forward to it? You'll die for me
to ask you so you can talk about it.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
Well, I'm just going to have a little party because
Brad's birthday is around this time, so we'll be throwing
a little parties. We're gonna have like a Halloween slash
birthday party and yeah, just you know, still kind of
cobbling together a costume.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
But you know, I love Halloween.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
I know I know how you feel about Halloween.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I want to remind listeners that I've added to my
boycott of home Depot because of companies that cooperate with ICE.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Now we're adding Spotify. I deleted Spotify. I've deleted TikTok.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
I still have a TikTok account that my social media manages,
but I don't scroll TikTok anymore.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
I think the government running that is a shit show.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
And I so I'm boycotting home Depot and I'm boycotting
Spotify and more to come.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
Great, great, And I'm sure continuing on with the Target
boycott after the removal of the DA.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Yeah, Target is over. Which is the good store Walmart?
Speaker 3 (02:37):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
I mean they were always like the traditional evils. Costco
is pretty good, Like Costco.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Is Costco's good? Right they do?
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Yeah, cause I'd like to promote these good companies that
do good things, and like for hardware stores, like you know,
local hardware stores.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
If we could all start shot.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
There's supposed to be some economic blackout that starts November
twenty fifth through December second. I saw Rose O'donnald posted
about that, So that would be great if we can
all get on board with that.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
No shopping, no restaurants.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
I mean that's a little conflicting because I have a
show on November twenty ninth in Vegas.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
But I care more about the country than I care
about my show.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Yeah yeah, anyway, Economic Blackout November twenty something, I'm gonna
post about it.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
The only thing that anybody cares about is money. I
can't These ice videos are so disgusting. This administration is
so gross. Who's our guest today? Are they going to
cheer us up?
Speaker 4 (03:27):
Our guest today is Nicholas Sparks. He co wrote his
first spooky novel with m Night Shyamalan. They made the
story together, and his new novel, Remain Also is now
a New York Times number one bestseller.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Oh right, we have another author today. We have we're
back to back author weeks. By the way, I've read
Malala's book this week.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
And I've read Laura Lynn Jackson's who are both upcoming guests.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Malala's funny. I'm into her, She's real funny good.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Okay, Yeah, So Nicholas Sparks is here today, another best selling,
very famous all. I'm so excited to have him on
and talk to him about his new novel.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
So let's get going. Nicholas Sparks, Welcome to Dear Chelsea.
Speaker 5 (04:08):
Hey, I'm thrilled to be here. How fun is this?
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Oh my god, it's the King of Romance.
Speaker 5 (04:14):
The King. That's what they say, aren't you inspiring today?
I appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Oh no, oh, I'm here to inspire the whole world.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
We're in a dearth of inspiration, so I'm here to
help and you're here to help. I was just going
over the list of books that you've written. I mean
a lot of them have been made into movies, so
a lot of them. But let me just read them
out loud to you in case you've forgotten any remain.
Counting Remain is the newest one. That's what we're going
to be talking about today. Everybody Remain, a Counting Miracles, Dreamland,
(04:42):
The Wish, The Return, Every Breath, two by two, See Me,
The Longest Ride, The Best of Me, Safe Haven, The
Last Song, The Lucky One, The Choice, Dear John, at
First Sight, True Believer, Three Weeks with My Brother, The Wedding,
The Guardian, The Nights in Rodanthe. Yeah, I've watched something.
I've watched that a couple of times. I like Diane
(05:03):
Lane And who's the guy in that in the.
Speaker 5 (05:05):
Movie, Richard Gear.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Oh, yeah, of course they were so hot together. They
were in that. Yeah, they were in a couple of
a walk to.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Remember message in a Bottle, which was another classic, and
The Notebook, which I think is probably the most popular of.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Them all so far so far.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
But what's interesting, We're going to get into your movies
and your well, your books that were made into movies,
and your books that you've written in a minute, but
I wanted to talk a little about your latest Remain,
which you co wrote. Is this the first time you've
ever co written something with anyone?
Speaker 5 (05:36):
Well, I did a nonfiction book with my brother years ago,
three weeks with my brother that you you referenced there,
and so he and I were the co writers on that.
And then for the last song the screenplay, there was
a I worked with a co writer on that.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Okay, So what tell me about the difference in between that,
because this is you co wrote with M. Knight Shamalan,
who I used to call m Night Shaka Khan until
I could figure out how to pronounce his name properly.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
So now I can, and I'm pretty excited about it.
Speaker 5 (06:05):
Yeah, this was very different. The way we worked together
primarily was I gave him a long leash when it
came to the film, and he gave me a long
leash when it came to the novel, and you really
the way to think about this is the two of
us conceived this story together, and then he did one
(06:26):
side of the coin, the film side, and I did
the other side of the coin, the novel side. And
so I didn't really dig in and hammered down and
give long detailed notes on the screenplay, and he didn't edit,
for instance, the novel. We both decided to take this
story that we both came up with, and I did
(06:48):
my medium and he did his. It's the best way
to think about it.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Did you guys check in with each other like what
were did you have ten polls that you had to
follow or any sort of storyline that you had to
stick to so that they would be now and goetes
to each other.
Speaker 5 (07:01):
Oh yeah, here, So here's how it came about, right,
it's a very Hollywood thing. In the original part, it
was I have people in Hollywood. He has people in Hollywood.
My people got to with his people. I don't know,
they're at a party or something, said hey we should
get Nick and Knight. They should do something together.
Speaker 6 (07:17):
You know.
Speaker 5 (07:17):
I hear this from my Hollywood people all the time, right,
And ninety nine percent of them amount to nothing well.
That was in early January twenty three, and then in
March twenty three, my guy calls me and he says,
you've got a meeting with Knight. It's going to be
an in Pennsylvania at Knight's place. And the goal for
that meeting was I was going to come up with
(07:39):
an original story that would work as both a novel
and a film and that would satisfy my readers and
his fans. And then he was going to do the
same thing. So then we met in May of twenty
twenty three, primarily to see if we wanted to work
with each other, if we could work with each other,
if it was going to be more hassle than at Worth,
(08:01):
because are we both Prima Donna's. You know, people can
add stress to your life, and neither of us want
where we've reached. We've been at this thirty years. We
don't need more stress, right right, So we had this
great meeting. I pitched my idea, he pitched his. We
decided jointly to do his idea, and we hammered out
(08:22):
all of the or most of these specifics on the
idea that eventually became remain So then I didn't hear
anything until August of twenty twenty four, just a year
a year ago, August, so not that long ago. And
he calls me up and he says, I think this
is going to be my next movie, which means he's
(08:44):
going to write, direct, and produce. And so I say, oh,
then I guess I'm going to do a novel. Because
I didn't know what. He didn't know what we were
going to do. What were we going to do together?
Was I going to write a short story and he
would produce it. Was I going to do a novella?
Were we going to do a TV show? We didn't know. Anyways,
said this is going to be my next movie. So
(09:04):
I decide to do a novel. So he works on
the screenplay for about six weeks from late August till
about October twelfth. I talked to him two or three
times a week. You know, I'm cheerleading, I'm brainstorming, I'm
doing whatever.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
And are you guys making sure that you're on similar pages? No,
pun intended, he was.
Speaker 5 (09:24):
We already knew what the story was because we had
hammered that out in May of the previous year. So
then I get the script. I said, Okay, this is great.
This is exactly the story we talked about. But I'm
in a different medium. You know, I have more room
for backstory, I have more runway. I can hop into
the character's heads a little bit more.
Speaker 6 (09:43):
So.
Speaker 5 (09:43):
I set aside the novel I was working on and
started writing Remain in October, all of a sudden, on
a very big deadline. Finish it in January. This was
just last January. Go through the editing process. Here we are,
the book's coming out, the movies all ready been filmed,
and he's in the editing room. The novel's coming out,
and the film will be out in twenty twenty six,
(10:06):
very fast.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
That's such a tight timeline.
Speaker 4 (10:08):
You wrote the book starting in October and it's coming
out the following October.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Basically, why do you have any separation between the book
and the movie coming out? Because I would think it
would be fun to have them both released at the
same time.
Speaker 5 (10:21):
Primarily because you want to have a couple of lives
on the book. Basically, you want to have a hardcover
life and then a paperback life. So if you see
the cover of Remain, right, so it's really pretty and
it's a great book cover, but so we'll have that cover.
That'll be the hardcover, and then when the paperback comes along, well,
now we're probably going to see Jake and Phoebe on
(10:42):
the I say, right on the paperback.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Yeah, so Jake Jillen Hall starring in the movie with
Phoebe de Neever right our dinover din Okay, okay, the
girl from Bridgerton who Yeah, she's really good.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
So as a writer, I mean, first of all, you're
responsible for so many broken hearts. I just want to
come out and say that I don't know. I mean,
there must have been so many couples that lee that
read your books and or leave the theater after seeing
these movies and just leave their boyfriends. They're like, where's
where's my fucking message in a bottle? You know, like
(11:16):
I could only imagine because I remember as a young
person when I would watch, like when I would read
something really like romantic, because these books aren't like lusty,
I wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
It's not like smuty. I mean, their love stories.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
You're kind of known for writing romantic novels, right, and
not all of them have happy endings, right, right, So
it's not like it's just always the same formula. But
I would imagine that you've gotten a lot of feedback
about setting a measure of a standard of love and
romance at a certain level that a lot of men
(11:50):
probably can't attain or can't measure up to.
Speaker 5 (11:54):
I have heard such stories at my book signings, right
They're like, where's all where's my no, or where's my
John from dear John, or where's my land? And from
a walk to remember. I do hear those stories. And
at the same time, I think, in the course of
my career, I've had seven marriage proposals in lines to
sign my book. You know, I'll get up to the
(12:14):
table the duodle dropped to his knees, and I feel
so bad for him. I'm like, dude, you're you're in
a Walmart in Birmingham, Alabama. You know you really would
have proposed it a Walmart and Birmingham or something like that.
But it's happened, and you know, I hear. I get
a lot of letters also from people who who say
that the stories either remind me of their love story
(12:36):
or someone they love. I can't tell you how many
people wrote said the notebook is the story of my
grandparents or the story of my parents, or I lost
my sister, you know, or I lost the love of
my life to cancer, or I was, you know, in
love with a girl and she left me because you know,
I was deployed too long, like happened in Dear John.
And so, you know, you get a lot more of
(12:59):
those kinds of stories. Then people coming up and say
I've ruined I've ruined men for them for the which
I'm glad. I would feel bad if that was more common.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Actually, no, that's what you come to Dear Chelsea for. Yeah, yeah,
to get upraided.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Okay, so how did you begin your Like, did you
set out wanting to become a romance novelist?
Speaker 5 (13:21):
No? No, I was a I was a regular guy.
I was a good student, right, I was. Well, let's
see how far back I was regular suburban family, high
school valedictorian. I was also a pretty good runner. I
got a full scholarship to the University Notre Dame for
track and field. Broke the school record there still hold it,
by the way, after forty years.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Wow, no one's broken your record.
Speaker 5 (13:43):
Not for forty years.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Oh wow, that's lucky.
Speaker 5 (13:46):
Yeah, you know, they they've had the horse races, they
just haven't had the horses, right, That's what I like
to say. And let's see, I spent the first couple
of few years after graduation trying to figure out what
I wanted to do, and I was writing on the side.
I wrote a novel when I was nineteen and another
at twenty two.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Was it a romance novel at nineteen?
Speaker 5 (14:05):
So first one was horror novel and the second one
was a murder mystery. Okay, so when we look at
remain right, a little supernatural little mystery. See goes right
back to my roots. Then I was selling pharmaceuticals, had
a midlife crisis about twenty seven years old. What am
I doing with my life? And I decided to give
writing another shot because those first novels had been unpublished,
(14:28):
and I wrote the notebook and here we are.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Oh god, well, let's talk about that, because I can't
tell you how many times we've had callers come in
that are working jobs that are dissatisfying and they want
to take a leap of faith and get into their
creative zone and do something like write a novel or
write a book, and they're always torn in betwixt in between.
So let's just talk about that moment in time for
you personally when you were a pharmaceutical wrap and how
(14:53):
you made the decision to just kind of take a
huge leap like that.
Speaker 5 (14:57):
Oh well, you know, thank you for giving me way
more kudos than I deserve.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Well, you already pumped up your track record.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
I mean, I'm just trying to support that, trying to
support the storytelling.
Speaker 5 (15:08):
I'm really proud of that.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
We're all proud of you right now.
Speaker 5 (15:13):
So at that time, I was married, I had two kids,
and my second son was real young. He was months
old and he was not a good sleeper, so he
was up all night basically. So my wife at the time, Kathy,
she was going to bed very early, you know, maybe
eight o'clock because she wanted to get maybe three or
(15:33):
four hours because she knew she was going to be
awake the rest of the night. So I was kind
of alone. I would work my job during the day,
but then I have a choice, it's eight pm. I
can watch TV or chase a dream. I said, you know,
I'm going to chase a dream. Goes to TV and
on and then then I begin to write. So I
(15:54):
wrote that in the evenings and maybe one morning on
a weekend when the family hadn't yet decided what we're
all going to do, go to the beach or whatever.
And over a period of six months, while working, I
finished the novel. Now get this, I finished it. Then
I had to go do the agent thing and you know,
work with her and edit the book. And I sold
(16:16):
it in October nineteen ninety five, a year before came out.
Sold it for the advance was really big back then.
It's kind of big now. It was like a million dollars.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
How did you get a million dollars for your first book?
Speaker 5 (16:30):
Yeah? A million dollars for the first It was the notebook.
It's the notebook, I know.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
But like, was there bidding war created? Like how did Yeah?
Speaker 5 (16:38):
There was a yeah, everybody wanted it and there was
a bidding war. I get a million dollars and the
book doesn't come out for a year. But at that time, yes,
that's a great deal of money. But you know, when
I was pretty good in math, and I was a
business finance major, and you do the math, you're like, okay,
after agent, you know, fifteen percent, and.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Then you're saying an acquire yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I say.
Speaker 5 (17:04):
And then I say Okay, I got enough to pay
off my very reasonable two hundred thousand dollars mortgage. I
have enough to put money away for my kids to
go to college. I got enough to maybe, you know,
put some in retirement. But that's about it. You know,
I'm twenty eight years old, and I'm going to have
to turn on the lights and eat food the rest
of my life. So I don't quit my job, and
(17:28):
I don't even tell anyone at work that I've just
basically won the lottery here. I worked for another year
until October nineteen ninety six. Now the book comes out,
and now I have to tell everybody because I'm on
you know, CBS this morning, and I'm in all the newspapers.
My boss finds out. So I did not quit until then.
(17:50):
I think the Notebook had been on the list for
fourteen weeks. It was February of ninety seven that I quit,
and I wasn't even willing to quit then, except Message
in a Bottle was going very well, and the publisher
had made an offer on that one, and it was
more than I earned for the Notebook, and I said, okay,
(18:11):
maybe I can make a living doing this, so way
less bravery than you give me credit for I kind
of played both sides. I guess.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
So you were able to basically write two books while
you were working as a pharmaceutical rep.
Speaker 7 (18:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (18:24):
Yeah, I was about half done with Message in a
Bottle when it was sold. But yeah, I do.
Speaker 4 (18:28):
Think that's such great advice, and it is what we've
told people in the past.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
You don't have to like quit your job and then
go try to be an actor or whatever your thing is.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
Keep doing what you can do while you're still like
keeping lights on.
Speaker 5 (18:40):
Like you said, Well, and I had two children, right,
and my wife was not working at a time. We'd
made the joint decision that she would stay home when
the kids were little. So what was Yeah, it just
seemed like the logical choice. And you're writing a novel. Yeah,
it's a lot of work, and it's a challenge in
this and that. But depending on how long it is,
(19:01):
if you're not writing war and peace, you know, I mean,
it's reasonable Like when I sit down to write, I
try to write two thousand words. What typical novel is
one hundred thousand words, So it might take me, let's say,
one hundred and thirty thousand to get the one hundred
thousand that I keep right, Well, that's sixty five days
(19:21):
of writing over a three hundred and sixty five day year. Now,
even with a notebook, let's say the notebook wasn't even that.
The notebook I think was about fifty to sixty thousand words.
So even if I'm only writing it a thousand words
a day, of course I had time in the evenings. Right,
you crank out five hundred words or one thousand words.
(19:42):
Eventually the novel's going to get done. I think it's
more because I had written a couple of novels earlier
in life that were never published. I never went to
the keyboard and said to myself. There was never the
thought that I wasn't going to finish. There was the thought,
am I good? It was going to be any good?
Going to be terrible? There was thought there, but not
(20:04):
the thought that I wasn't going to finish. So hey
a little bit closer, Hey, a little bit closer.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Okay, Now a real question. Do you cry when you
watch your movies the books that have been made into movies.
Did you cry during the notebook?
Speaker 5 (20:17):
Uh? Yeah, of course you got to cry. Yeah, right,
I don't think. Look, I'm not weeping and reaching for tissues.
But I get a little tearry, you know, I got
tiry at the Notebook musical too. I mean, they just
did such a beautiful job.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
What about when you reread your material at times?
Speaker 5 (20:34):
Sure, I'll get choked up sometimes sometimes, and and of
course I don't reread all the time. I'm not that vain,
but I'll pick up a book. You know, when you
first finish a novel, you don't want to see the
thing for about five years. You're you're it's just like
the worst friend ever here, he just abused you for
years and you're done with them, right, So you got
to give it some space.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Well, and nowadays, when you publish a book, it's like, okay,
you finish a book, it's a labor of love. Then
you know, you go through the editing process, which.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
Is less creatively fulfilling.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Yes, yes, it's just kind of tedious, and I mean
it's important part of the process, but it's not like
I don't know why I'm acting like I'm from Canada
saying process. But anyway, it's an important part of it.
But it's also it's just not a fulfilling part. It's like, yeah,
I liked learning about language and set in structure and
making sure I'm using the right words and the most
powerful words when that's you know, appropriate. But also then
(21:27):
you get then the book is done. Then you have
to shoot the cover. Then you have to agree on
a cover. Then they send you ten thousand book slips.
Now this is the new thing where they send you
ten thousand bucks slips, which are the slips or the
first sheets that go into the book, and you have
to sign ten thousand fucking copies. And that really takes
the joy out of the entire process.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
It gives you a carple tunnel.
Speaker 5 (21:51):
Yeah, I've often joked about that. You know. People say,
they'll say what do you do? I say, I'm a
writer and they say, well, what do you write? I say, well,
mainly I write my name over and over.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Over and over and over again. Yeah. I just got
the e.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
Schwab's new book.
Speaker 4 (22:05):
She did The Invisible Life of Eddie LaRue, and she
did thirty thousand for her.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
I'm like, that's too many.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Somebody needs too many.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Next time I threw my back out twice, it stagning
my last ten thousand batch of books. The next time
I write a book, I need to be suspended from
the ceiling, preferably a ceiling fan in some sort of
suspension gear where my back.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Is not the position in an awkward way.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
So I could just go like this, because you know,
you could stamp them, but nobody wants to do that.
When you care about your readers, you want to, you know.
So I mean, it's not that your pigeon holed in
wrote like romance novels, but you've kind of sort of
like you've kind of chosen to write those books. Do
you feel at all like that's what you're supposed to write,
or do you feel pigeonholed in any way?
Speaker 5 (22:50):
Look, I write because I want people to read them,
and look, I know what my readers have liked, and
so I try to write in kind of that. But
there's less pigeonholing than you'd think, because I try to
make each novel very different, even though we know the
ideas very simple. It's a love story. It's going to
(23:10):
be said in North Carolina. But other than that, I
want it to be as different as possible. So I'll
write some in first person, some in third person, some
in third person, limited omniscient. I'll do some with a
stories and b stories that collide in the end in
a way a reader don't expect. I'll do epic novels.
I'll do characters in their teens or their forties, or
characters in their eighties. I'll have happy endings, bittersweet endings,
(23:33):
and sad endings. I'll have tragedy and other forms. With
that said, I also vary the themes. So some might
be love and danger. The one remain here is love
and the supernatural. I've done love and mystery. So the
great thing when you're just really writing about human emotion
is I have a great ability to add the elements
(23:54):
of all kinds of different stories. Right, I've had I've
had soldiers in my knowledge. I've had mysteries in my novels.
I've had arsons, you know, in my novels. So all
sorts of different things. So while it is pigeonholing, yeah,
it's a love story in North Carolina. Aside from remain
(24:14):
which is said in Cape Cod, it's okay. What I
would tell people is, even though it's those two things,
it's different than anything else I've ever done. There's going
to be other themes you don't expect, and you won't
see the ending coming, and that's there's a lot of
a challenge in that, and I enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Yeah, I mean, I think one of the key things
you said is instead of like, you know, your wife
goes to bed at eight eight pm, when you had
the little kids and you had a choice to sit
on the sofa and watch television or shut the TV
off and write a fucking book, And I think there
in lies your answer. You know you could be so,
I mean, I wrestled with this all the time. Yesterday
(24:52):
I was reading my friend's book Who's Coming on the podcast?
And I was like, I went to go turn on
the TV and the TV's weren't working. I'm in this
rental house, were working, the cable was down, And I
was like, oh, and.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Then, well I could possibly read a book, idiot.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
So I went and I got the book and I
was read a chapter and then I saw the TV's
come on, and I'm like, you have a choice right now.
You can either continue reading, which is better for your brain,
or be mine, you know, mindless, Like you know, watching
TV can be so numbing, and you know it's very
rare that there is an incredible show out there. Now,
I mean, there's a lot of shows out there, but
to get a really good one. So but I think
(25:27):
therein lies the difference. You do have to make it
the choice to do the work. You know, in order
to take the chance to try something new, you have
to put the effort in.
Speaker 5 (25:35):
Yeah, and of course these days you also have to
put down the phone. Yeah, right, I think people. I
think some people might spend more time in front of
a screen than a TV screen. I don't know, I'm
not it seems like it, especially, so you have to
now put two things down, I guess to chase it.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
How do you manage your phone, Nicholas.
Speaker 5 (25:56):
Oh, it's not a big deal, you know, once you
get into look fart around on my phone, just like
everybody does. But I probably you know, I work out
a couple hours a day. I probably read two or
three hours a day. I work five or six hours
a day. And I know I'm on the phone talking
to friends and visiting with friends. Not every day. I'm
(26:17):
not that social, but yeah, enough in the in the
course of a week. So and then you know you're
sleeping and you're on your phone the rest of the time,
usually playing games. I'm a big backgammon. Nut. So I
play a lot of.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Backgamming, okay, And so do you write five to six
hours a day?
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Is that what you said?
Speaker 6 (26:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (26:33):
Thinks about five on days that I write, but I
don't write every day.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Do you write first thing in the morning.
Speaker 5 (26:40):
I write after coffee and after my workout.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Oh okay. Interesting.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
We talked to a Mitch Album last week and he
writes first thing in the morning. And I was telling
him about this book that I had picked up years
ago called Daily Rituals, which talks about all these famous
kind of authors, physicists, philosophers and what their kind of
work ethics are were, and a lot of them just
get up, you know, five in the morning, and they
work for three hours and then they're done for the
(27:06):
rest of the day. Their creative juice is pretty much there,
just first thing in the morning. That's I'm a first
thing in the morning kind of person. That's when I
get my best shit done.
Speaker 6 (27:14):
Well.
Speaker 5 (27:14):
I'm an early riser. I'm usually up about four thirty
or five most morning, but I can't start my day
without coffee, and I like to. I like to get
my prayers in and get my dog out because I
like my dog too, and then I like to exercise,
you know, I mean, I just I know, if I'm
not after i'm done writing, I'm too tired to exercise.
(27:36):
So I got to write first. Yeah, and you know,
so I'm usually in the you know, in front of
the computer, not late about nine, and it's not five
or six hours, usually three to five. Today I think
it was like three. It really depends. Again, I don't
write every day. Some days I edit, and some days
I'm just trying to figure out what I'm supposed to
do next. So and that it's not a faucet that
(27:59):
you can turn on. I say with my way of
describing writing a novel is you have to know what
to write. That's part of it, and then you have
to know how to write it. Now, if you know
what you're doing the how, you can always get through that.
It may take more or less time than you think.
But if you don't know what to do, man, there's
no reason to put any words down at all. I
(28:20):
think I spent three or four days trying to figure
out what the next five hundred or seven hundred words
were in this novel, and didn't do anything for three
days or four days, and boom seven hundred words came
in like twenty minutes. I'm like, literally, I'm like, this
is ridiculous. I wish I could turn it on and
off like a faucet. But I don't understand that.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
You're saying, the idea has to come to you and
then you can put it to paper.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
You have to have a direction.
Speaker 5 (28:47):
Yeah, right, exactly if you don't know what you're writing
and what would work exactly best within all these other
ideas about what the novel is supposed to be, not
only what specific like how do I discribe this thing,
this particular passage of time without being repetitive or boring,
and knowing that I have to do this again in
(29:07):
a couple of chapters where I am going to have
to use this one way to do it, But what's
the other way to do it? And how can I
do it? And what's a new way and what's going
to be interesting and flow? I had no idea. I
had no idea. It took a little editing on what
I'd already written, and then okay, I was ready to
write the words and they just literally poured out.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
I love it as somebody who writes a lot of
romance novels. What is the most romantic gesture that you've
ever done for someone else, Oh, gosh.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Or one that's been done for you.
Speaker 5 (29:43):
Yeah, you know. It's funny. When I was married, when
my Kathy liked at the time because we had children, right,
we had two, and then we had three more, so
we had five kids. So it was always a very
bustly busy house. And well, what she really most appreciated
were evenings off, like where she could just you take
(30:07):
care of the kids. I don't want to feed them
the whole bit, all the way into bed, you know,
do this one's soccer practice and do this with the others.
I just want to sit on the back porch for
a while. Then I want to take a long tub.
Then I want to go lay in bed and watch
brainless TV and then pass out. So I made a
point to do those those kinds. That's what she swore
(30:29):
she wanted more than anything.
Speaker 3 (30:30):
Yeah, I think that's real, real life romance.
Speaker 5 (30:33):
And she told me that was romantic.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Yeah yeah, no, no, no, I can appreciate that that's romantic.
I mean, I'm not interested in getting flowers from a
lover like I find actual traditional and I don't even
have children. But I find very traditional romantic things unnecessary.
It's really those deeper meaning, like very thoughtful gestures that
really actually make a difference in everybody's lives.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
When you really know somebody and what they need. That's
real love and romance.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Okay, we're going to take a break and we're going
to be right back with Nicholas Sparks.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
And we're already back with Nicholas Sparks. How quick was that?
Speaker 5 (31:10):
You know? The wonders of technology, they never ceased to amaze. Yeah,
I love it.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
Whoever came up with Zoom, and whoever came up with
docu sign, and whoever came up with an airflyer. I need,
I need to personally thank all of those people because
those are three of the biggest game changers.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
In my last in the last three years.
Speaker 5 (31:29):
Yes, all right, what do you put in your air
fire with anything?
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Everything? Everything? I can't cook, so I put anything in there.
Speaker 5 (31:36):
Okay, I like that. I like that.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
I have one of those.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
It's like a toaster oven also airfire, so you can
turn it on toaster, you can turn it on air fryer.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
I mean, I don't know how to change the settings.
So it's always on air fire.
Speaker 5 (31:49):
I got well, air fires are great. They're especially great
when it comes to reheating things.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Yeah, that's usually what I'm doing anyway, which is and.
Speaker 5 (31:57):
Literally that I will be using my air fryer tonight.
So I'm with you.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
There's nothing better than seeing, like you know, if I
love salmon, I love chicken, like putting it in just
for two minutes and just hearing the sizzle to get
the crispiness. I'm like, oh my god, this is all
I've ever wanted was crispy food.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
That's really my that's what I want.
Speaker 5 (32:14):
Yeah, I agree, I agree. Amazing And yeah, I'm with
you on the others too. I like docu sign and
and Zoom. They're very they're very handy. I remember I
used to get a lot of contracts that I used
to have to sign. I'm published in like fifty different languages.
I mean, so for every book, you're getting this, and
then I mean I get I get that, X's this
(32:37):
thing you know, uh, you know, just filled with contracts
I have to sign. Yeah, now it's click click click.
I love it. It's great.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
Yeah, docu sign is really the best, the best thing
that's ever happened. I mean not to have to sit
there with somebody with a notary and sign contracts.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
I'm like, oh my god, fingerprints. I'm like, no.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
And once you check into docus it's like a commercial
for DocuSign. Once you check into docuside and give them
your first signature, that's it.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
It just does it.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
I'm like, oh my god, I just want to like,
I want to perform for that person and some whatever
way they want.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
Me to, and I will find the CEO of docu
sign and get you.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Thank you, Nicholas. This is a part of the show
where we take questions from callers.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
Okay, great, okay.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
Yeah, Well our first question comes from Keisha.
Speaker 4 (33:20):
She says, Hi, Chelsea and Catherine and any other beautiful
folks who read this.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
I'm a writer.
Speaker 4 (33:25):
I'm actually sometimes part time, sometimes contract sometimes unpaid sometimes
for myself writer and have been for many years. I'm
in my thirties and make my money in a career
that's not writing. That said, my writing has been published
and I've been paid for my writing for over a decade.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
Now here's what I want to get a read on.
Speaker 4 (33:43):
Are any freelancers currently making it out there? Do you
really have to have a whole online persona read impressive
Instagram or TikTok to get traction. These days, the best
luck I've had to make a career ie money is
copywriting in my technical field subject matter. It's extremely sane
ties and I obviously can't put much of a stamp
on anything. Should I just be grateful I'm getting paid
(34:04):
to write at all? And why is this reading like
a diary entry?
Speaker 3 (34:07):
Dear Chelsea.
Speaker 4 (34:08):
I'm interested in thoughts and advice to advance my writing career,
or perhaps to redefine it very very best, Kisha. I
thought about making this anonymous, but isn't that empathetical to
my whole thing?
Speaker 1 (34:17):
Yes, yes, you can't be anonymous, Kisha. But actually we
were just having this very conversation. This is our special guest.
Nicholas Sparks is here today.
Speaker 6 (34:25):
Hi, Wow, nice to meet you.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Yeah, how are you?
Speaker 6 (34:29):
He was just the person?
Speaker 1 (34:30):
Yeah, exactly, Nicholas. Tell her what you were telling us?
Speaker 2 (34:34):
Please?
Speaker 5 (34:35):
Well, when I first began writing, I ended up writing
my novels in my spare time after work, usually in
the evening. I would write from eight o'clock to eleven
o'clock or maybe even midnight and then i'd work my
regular shift. I'd also write one day on the weekend.
I had a wife and I had two young children
(34:55):
at home, so and I really felt like writing was
important to me. I wanted to chase a dream, so
I made time for it. So I think if I
was you, I were to really start and really answer
the very first question is what kind of writing do
you want to do? Is it? Do you want to
be a novelist. Do you want to be one of
(35:17):
the people that, let's say, publishing houses call to write
a famous person's biography. Do you want to be a
you know, an anonymous biographer. Do you want to be
someone who publishes on substack and journalistic pieces? What kind
of writer do you want to be? And I think
until you're clear about exactly the kind that you want
(35:41):
to be, you're probably just better doing what you're doing
and mastering the skills that you're developing, because, as you said,
you know, you do some copy this, you do some
writing on your own, you do some writing that gets published,
and that's all great. All of writing is a skill
and you do need to practice it. And it's wonderful
(36:02):
that not only do you get paid a little bit
to do it, but you also make time to write
what you want to write. So once you decide then
what you want to write, then you have to break
it down further. Can I ask what your dream writing
thing would be? Screenplays, novels, nonfiction? You know, what are
(36:23):
you thinking?
Speaker 7 (36:24):
What I've really enjoyed that I've actually been able to
do has been some short stories, some short format fiction.
The problem is obviously, like short format as a medium
is kind of shrinking. We'll see how that goes. But
I have actually really enjoyed that. I kind of like
those sort of pernal storytelling. It's very powerful to me,
(36:46):
it's very fun. I do have like half a novel
geared towards adults that I actually found not that fun.
Speaker 6 (36:55):
And then there's like some.
Speaker 7 (36:56):
A little bit longer, maybe middle children age books that
I have.
Speaker 6 (37:01):
Been really getting into.
Speaker 7 (37:02):
Okay, I have a little kid now, and now I'm
thinking about like sort of stories that I sort of
tell her, and like how would that change when she's
like in the second or third or fourth grade, and
how fun that would be. And I'm actually really enjoying
sort of plotting that out. And I'm a warning person,
so I like, what you're saying about you would carve
out your time in the evenings.
Speaker 6 (37:20):
Honey, I'm in bed. But what I do do, and.
Speaker 7 (37:22):
I love that you said that, is I do tend
to get up around four thirty or five nowadays, and
everybody else.
Speaker 6 (37:27):
Is a sleep till seven. Yeah.
Speaker 7 (37:29):
Yeah, I think I should make more of an effort
to protect that.
Speaker 6 (37:32):
Right.
Speaker 5 (37:33):
Sure, that's a great thing, and you're right. Short story
fiction is really tough these days, but it's been tough
for probably twenty or thirty years. With that said, you know,
it's a wonderful way to develop your storytelling ability. What
you might consider is maybe taking and this is an idea,
and feel free to throw this out because it's not good.
(37:54):
But you know, you think of some of these ideas
that you're thinking about for your daughter maybe in second
or third grade, and fairy tales or whatever, whatever adventure
tale or a mystery tale. Right, what if you actually
compile those and it's you're not trying to just publish
one story in an offbeat magazine, but you eventually try
(38:14):
to publish those stories as as a collection and anthology
or another option is to perhaps and you don't have
to take these ideas is perhaps if you so much
enjoy short story fiction, think of a broad story with
multiple characters and somehow tell a dozen short stories that
all come together at.
Speaker 6 (38:35):
The love that.
Speaker 5 (38:37):
So there's different ways you can chase your dream. But
of course, you know, we only have so much time.
And good for you for really developing your skill.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
Yeah, I mean, I think that's great advice.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
I was going to say one of those things, not
the second one, which is even better advice than the
first one. I mean, you can combine all of those
stories and I mean make that a big book, or
you can make one, you know, all of these stories
within one big book, but you could have a book
of short stories, you know those those are still relevant.
And also just like I had this conversation with a
group of women from like Silicon Valley last night. We
(39:11):
had a tech kind of meeting, and it's kind of like,
don't let I hate letting like the market dictate what
you're going to bring to it. Like, you know, when
you have a talent and you have a desire, do
what you love to do and bring it to the marketplace.
Don't let whatever's popular or not popular dictate what you're
going to do in your spare time. You have the
(39:33):
spare time, that's the first thing you need. You have
the time in the morning, as you already mentioned, just
use that time, like dedicate that time to really focusing
on one of those two options that Nick mentioned. And
I think, you know, like in a couple of months,
you're going to be farther down the road. Listen, children's
books are always going to be viable. They're always going
to be a selling People always want a nice parable
(39:53):
or an adventure series. You know, that's something you can
make more and more out of in success. You know,
remember Ramona, what was her name, Ramona? Those are the
book yeah, other than Judy Bloom, like Ramona and yeah,
the cat ate my jumpsuit was Judy Bloom. But then
there was another series with Ramona who was always in
trouble and I love that. But like you know, when
(40:14):
you're thinking about children's stories, like that's that's something that's
kind of always has the potential to resonate. So it's
really about picking exactly like where you're going to put
your energy into and just giving yourself that time every
day and doing it.
Speaker 7 (40:27):
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And I think
sometimes you see somebody to say like keep going, keep
doing it. And also the whole thing about you know,
building a platform. I think that's part of where it
does get a little bit rough, because it's like you're
kind of going to the marketplace.
Speaker 6 (40:42):
You know, what's marketable? Am I marketed? Bull?
Speaker 7 (40:45):
It's like part before the horse, and so that can
be pretty like kind of a bummer. But I like
that you guys are like, don't even think about that
right now.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
Yeah, And also like don't make it a bummer making
an adventure, make it like okay, fun, Okay, I'm I'm
going to go online. I'm going to go on my
social media platform and ask people what would they like
the most. Would you like a short you know, would
you like a short story for your second or third grader?
A book about being a young person or a young child,
would you like you know, maybe you could get feedback
that way, you know, But don't be worried about the
(41:18):
response of anybody at this point. Just be worried about
moving towards your goal, because what you said in the
letter is like, should I be satisfied writing this kind
of sanitized stuff, Like no, you shouldn't be satisfied with that.
That's a way for you to make money, but you
should go after your dreams. Like we only have a
short time here, you might as well make them count
(41:39):
for you.
Speaker 4 (41:40):
I forget where I heard this, but recently I read
something that said something along the lines of your desires
are what brings you towards your purpose, So like, don't
discount that you do want more than that.
Speaker 7 (41:51):
And like mister smacks, it counts. It's a good experience.
Like I'm definitely learning self editing is a really.
Speaker 6 (41:59):
Big yeah that I've learned a lot from copywriting.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Yeah, edit to amplify, edit to amplify.
Speaker 6 (42:06):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 7 (42:07):
It's also just hard, you know, you start to get
older and you start to think it all ties into
sort of like youth culture and tacking up these audience
numbers on these sort of arbitrary formats that maybe that's no.
Speaker 2 (42:18):
But it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
But also on the subject of age, like that is
there's a million people that are your age. Who cares
about what young people are doing? Focus on the people
that you're going to be servicing. Focus on your group
of people. Don't worry about what people who are twenty
and thirty years old are doing.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
That's not relevant.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
To you, you know, so I just like, don't forget
there's a bunch of other people. It's not like you
have to be this new, young, fresh hot thing all
of the time. That's not real. That's just what we've
been served up. So just enjoy like where you are
in your life. Appreciate it. You have the passion and
now you just need the commitment and the drive.
Speaker 6 (42:54):
I really appreciate that.
Speaker 7 (42:55):
And you're a great testament to that of you're not
chasing anything you've own and developed sort of based on
your interests, and that's been really powerful to see.
Speaker 2 (43:05):
Oh well, I love that. Thank you. Will you follow
up with us? Yes, keep us posted absolutely.
Speaker 6 (43:11):
Thank y'all so much. I hope you have a good one.
Speaker 1 (43:14):
Thank yousha good writing question for us for our special
guests today specially.
Speaker 4 (43:20):
Well, this next question isn't about writing, but it is
about a family secret. And I feel like you are
someone who is a special a specialist in juicy secrets.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
And fictional family special families unless you have some real
ones you want to smell necklaces.
Speaker 4 (43:35):
Well, our next question comes from Lynn. She says, Dear Chelsea,
three and a half years ago, I rekindled my relationship
with my older sister without telling the rest of my family.
She was nine when I was born, and as a
little girl, I idolized her. My love of tied I
and the grateful dead comes straight from her. In the eighties,
when she was applying to colleges, there was a huge
fight between her and my parents. My parents told her
(43:57):
they couldn't afford to pay the tuition to the college
of her dream. There were some harsh words on both sides.
It destroyed their relationship and she cut herself off from
my family. Growing up, I asked questions about why I
no longer saw her, and basically was told it was
her choice to be so selfish. Years later, her husband
actually wrote me a letter and told me that she
missed me and would like to have a relationship with
(44:18):
just me. I hate to admit it, but at the
time I was not ready for that. I was still
under the impression that my dad was perfect, and I
told her as much when I called her.
Speaker 3 (44:26):
I was awful and so hurtful.
Speaker 4 (44:28):
After I had my own kids, though, it started to
dawn on me that parents are just doing the best
they can. In fact, I started thinking that it was
my parents who fucked up more than my sister.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
Yeah, it sounds like it.
Speaker 3 (44:38):
At eighteen.
Speaker 4 (44:38):
She was a child when the rift happened, and it
all just made me so sad. I felt like I
was missing a piece for thirty years and I just
flat out missed my big sister. So I reached out
online and we agreed to meet. Over the last three years,
we have become so close again. We have a ton
of similarities beyond just how much we look alike. We're
both teachers, same political beliefs, we love cats over dogs,
even our mannerisms become part of each other's families. Here
(45:02):
is my problem. All of this has happened in secret.
On my side. I haven't told my parents our younger
sister that I have a relationship with my older sister,
And at first it was to protect the fragile relationship
I was trying to form, but now it's just out
of worry and guilt.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
She wants nothing to do with my.
Speaker 4 (45:16):
Parents or younger sister, and I worry about hurting my dad,
who is in the early stages of dementia. I would
keep this a secret forever, but now my kids have
formed a relationship with my older sister and her family too.
We're very close with my parents and my kids see
them every day. I feel awful having them lie to
my parents when we have plans with my older sister
and her family. I don't want my older sister to
be some guilty secret. Do I confess to my parents
(45:39):
and younger sister? And if so, how do I do
it in a way that's not going to hurt their
feelings since I've been hiding this from them for years?
Speaker 2 (45:45):
Help?
Speaker 5 (45:46):
Lynn?
Speaker 2 (45:47):
Hi? This is Nicholas Sparks, our special guest today.
Speaker 5 (45:50):
Hi, and yeah, do you want me to answer this question?
Speaker 2 (45:53):
Would you like to go first? You're welcome to I don't.
Speaker 5 (45:57):
I don't think I have the expertise to answer such
a question other than to say, you know, if you're
still close with your parents, I don't see how you
can continue to lie to them. Right what they do
with information is going to be up to them. They
might be reasonable, they might not be. But I certainly
don't think it's good that your kids have now kind
(46:18):
of got caught up into it. Not like they're lying
to them, but when you're going to go see the
sister and her family and they have to lie about that,
I always kind of lead my life and I really do,
and most everyone who's very close with me would agree
with this is Look, this is who I am. I'd
(46:39):
rather you know the real me and choose to have
a relationship with me or like me or dislike me
after this. But here's the real me, and I don't
try to hide that. And I don't recall ever losing
someone with that kind of honesty. That was an important
(47:00):
to me. Now I don't know your parents, and they
might be that kind, but I would say, you think
you have a relationship with your parents, but they don't
even know the real you. They have a relationship with
a facade of you. And I'm older than you, so
I yeah, I just don't really care anymore. What here
(47:24):
I am? And if you don't like me, you don't
want to talk to me any more. Okay, good on you.
Wish you well, Lynne.
Speaker 1 (47:29):
Can I ask you this all happened because of college,
because she was they had a disagreement over where she
was going to go to college. Yeah, are your parents
religious or something like?
Speaker 2 (47:40):
Is there?
Speaker 3 (47:41):
I just can't believe, like an un blow up?
Speaker 1 (47:43):
Yeah, one blow up and they're so close with the
rest of the family.
Speaker 2 (47:46):
And they just extricate it.
Speaker 1 (47:47):
She was like ostracized from the family for the rest
of her life.
Speaker 8 (47:51):
So it wasn't that she was well, I mean, I
guess she was kind of ostracized. So now I was nine,
so this is Yeah, I've piecemealed it back together a
little bit and we've talked a little bit about it,
but we've just tried to kind of move on. That
was I guess the biggest argument that set her over
the edge, to be like, you don't even care about
(48:13):
me going to college. Therefore I'm going to do what
I want to do and i want nothing to do
with you. So she removed herself from the relationship, and
my parents just basically pretended she never existed after that,
as did the rest of my dad's side of the family.
Speaker 1 (48:31):
Yeah, I would just I mean, honestly, it's really that's
it's not your problem. You're you're the fact that you
reconnected with your sister is beautiful and that's exactly what
you should do, and you should probably encourage your younger
sister to reconnect with your sister too, because anybody who
can write their own child off at eighteen years old,
is that's not right, you know, and I mean, obviously
(48:52):
that sounds like I'm passing judgment on your parents, But
like I.
Speaker 2 (48:54):
Agree with Nick, Like you want to be upfront.
Speaker 1 (48:57):
There's nothing wrong with what you're doing reconnecting with one
of your face family members who was kind of taken
out of your life as a nine year old kid.
I lost my brother at nine, Like, it's not the
same circumstance, but I would do anything to be able
to reconnect with him, to be able to have a
conversation with him, you know, Like, of course, that's a
natural instinct, that's a natural way for a human being
to relate to another person in your family and your Yeah,
(49:20):
your father is in the beginning stages of dementia.
Speaker 2 (49:22):
That's unfortunate.
Speaker 1 (49:23):
But it's also not your responsibility to take care of
your parents' feelings. You're an adult who has children that
you want to set an example for, right.
Speaker 2 (49:33):
I completely agree.
Speaker 8 (49:34):
So I have intentions of telling my parents, Like, I
feel bad that I've waited.
Speaker 2 (49:40):
Four years to tell them.
Speaker 8 (49:42):
I'm just trying to figure out at this point how
to do it without a feeling like a bomb.
Speaker 5 (49:48):
I have an idea. Okay, it's the best way. Go over,
have a nice stay with them, and then when there's
ten minutes to go until you have to leave, send
the kids the caar, talk to them. You'll give them
a hug, say oh before I go, you should really
know this. Tell them. Then go get in the car.
Let those two deal with it without you having to
(50:10):
see their reaction. Okay, and then call, you know, a
couple of days or whatever your date your call schedule is,
say hey, hey mom, hey dad, how you doing or
whatever you do? That's what I would do. Yeah, and say, okay,
we're going to talk about this for the next three hours. No, No,
this is more of a you're not doing anything wrong.
(50:32):
You tell them, and then you let those two deal
with it.
Speaker 3 (50:36):
Yeah, that's great.
Speaker 4 (50:37):
I also think some of the guilt of this is
coming from like how long it's been. I think get
nebulous on that detail.
Speaker 5 (50:43):
Just say, look, I've reconnected her with her and we've
become pretty close, and I just thought that you should
know that. I just didn't feel I felt it wouldn't
be good of me to lie. I don't want to
raise my kids, you know, knowing this lie. And I
just wanted you to know that we've reconnected, we're really
getting along my kids. It's like her kids, and I
think she's a terrific, wonderful person. Done walk to the car.
Speaker 2 (51:05):
How do you feel about that, Lynn?
Speaker 8 (51:07):
Yeah, No, I feel like I could do that for sure.
I actually had talked to my therapist about ways as
well to try and just like drop the truth bomb
and run. The funny thing is I don't. Actually I'm
horrible at keeping secrets, so the fact that this is
a secret that I've been keeping is like me alive.
Speaker 1 (51:28):
Yeah, I mean I would also just not You don't
have to explain every single detail, you know what I mean.
You just kind of give them the information that's absolutely
necessary and walk to the car and follow up with
them a couple days later. And if they don't want
to talk to you for a while, then they don't
want to talk.
Speaker 2 (51:42):
To you for a while.
Speaker 1 (51:43):
But it's better just to tell the truth, you know,
and also for you for the sake of your children,
you know what I mean, You just have to demonstrate
how you want them to go through life. And lies
are the worst and they all always come out. Everyone
finds out about everything, So I don't understand why people
continue to lie, But I mean I understand your situation,
but just you know, you want to live in truth.
Speaker 2 (52:03):
Yeah, I agree. Okay, Well, good luck with everything. Let
us know how it goes. Okay, yeah, I appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (52:09):
Okay, Okay, we'll take a quick break and then we'll
be right back with Nicholas Sparks.
Speaker 2 (52:19):
How do you like our therapy session so far?
Speaker 5 (52:21):
Nicholas, Wow, these are tricky questions.
Speaker 2 (52:23):
Seriously, I don't know.
Speaker 5 (52:25):
That I'd like to do this every like you guys too.
I don't want to give people advice. I've really handled
my life, let alone trying to help other people with
their lives.
Speaker 1 (52:36):
No shit, I mean I wish I gave the advice
I give to other people to myself, because it's much different.
Speaker 2 (52:42):
What do we have to wrap up?
Speaker 4 (52:43):
Well, we do have one last question, so Carrie says,
Dear Chelsea. I've never really referred to myself as an artist,
but I've always needed to outwardly express myself. I love
to sing, dance, draw, and I was a gymnast as
a young girl. I've been through a lot in my
fifty six years. White and Jewish and my father is black.
Growing up in the suburbs of New York in the
(53:04):
seventies and eighties, there were no other families that resembled mine.
I grew thick skin and learned how to thrive in
survival mode. I had subscribed to the belief that we
can all be happy, but we must do the work
on ourselves in order to live a happy life. I
have often thought about writing my story of resilience to
share with others, with the hopes of inspiring people who
have struggled. Two years ago, my husband and I went
(53:24):
to DC for his college reunion with a group of friends.
Speaker 3 (53:27):
We stayed in a big Victorian house and hung out.
Speaker 4 (53:29):
A few of us were in a transition phase and
longing for something, but not sure what it was or
how to achieve it.
Speaker 3 (53:34):
One of our friends suggested we do an exercise.
Speaker 4 (53:37):
We had to describe our dream life five years from now,
as if it had already happened. I told them that
my husband and I have been traveling all over the world.
I blurted out that I had written a New York
Times bestseller and I was currently on my book tour.
I had toyed with the idea of writing a book,
but had never said the words out loud. When we
got home, I committed to writing daily and began with
essays about my childhood, adulthood, trauma, all of it. Kept
(54:00):
at it, and eventually there was a book.
Speaker 3 (54:02):
Here's my issue.
Speaker 4 (54:03):
I haven't read the book since I finished it or
taken the next steps to find an editor. I'm very
proud of myself for this achievement. I know it's a
big deal. I also know that my stories will resonate
with so many as the struggles I've been through are
not uncommon, and my basic message is that we can
get through anything. I realize that it is the fear
of revealing myself and being vulnerable that's holding me back.
Do you have any advice on how to push through
(54:24):
the fear and take the next steps?
Speaker 2 (54:25):
Carrie? Yeah, walk through that door, Carrie, you got it.
Speaker 6 (54:29):
What I mean.
Speaker 1 (54:29):
Fear is there to face the challenge. I look at
fear always as a challenge that I will overcome. If
I'm scared of something, I move towards it even more forcefully.
Unless you want to keep this book to yourself, you're
going to have to take the steps to get it
read by people and to get some feedback and some direction. Nicholas,
what's your advice for a first time author trying to
get their stuff read.
Speaker 5 (54:51):
Self edit, self edit, you know, if you haven't even
read the book, since you have to.
Speaker 2 (54:55):
Go back and read it.
Speaker 5 (54:56):
I cannot tell you, guys, how many times I edit
everything that I write. I edit every fourth sentence, I
go back and edit those four I edit every clump
of two pages. I ed from the beginning, clump of
ten pages. Then I go back and I edit from
the beginning. Once I hit a section, then my agent edits,
then I edit, then I edit some more. I would
(55:19):
say every sentence in every one of my novels, I've
probably examined closely, word by word and within the context
of a page or chapter fifteen times. So and I did.
I did the same prior to trying to even find
an agent or are a publisher for the notebook. If
(55:40):
you're going to try to find an agent who are
very selective because lots of people want to have books published,
or you want to try to get your novel published
by a big publishing house who also have a lot
thousands and thousands and thousands of submissions, you're not doing
yourself any favors by handing it, by not handing them
(56:02):
the very best possible work that you could do.
Speaker 1 (56:07):
Yeah, yeah, you have to reread your book also, like
I mean, yeah, you have to go because you're gonna
I know you think like, oh, you're done. You have
a book that's everything he says is absolutely true. And
also you can give it to a couple of people
get some feedback that'll help you with your editing perhaps,
but you definitely have to get it out there. Like
the fear of showing it to people. You got to
get past that. You have to be open to criticism
(56:30):
and constructive critique, like you just have to be open
to it.
Speaker 2 (56:33):
That's part of the process.
Speaker 1 (56:35):
So good luck to you and hopefully we'll hear about
your book in the future coming out and being published.
Speaker 2 (56:41):
And that's our episode for today.
Speaker 1 (56:43):
You guys, everyone go out and get Remain the novel
by Nicholas Sparks with m. Knight not Chaka Khan Shyamalan,
and it's going to come out as a movie, so
you want to make sure you read the book before
you see the movie. That's the order of business out here.
Thank you, thanks so much, Nicholas, what a pleasure to.
Speaker 2 (57:01):
Speak with you.
Speaker 5 (57:02):
Hey, thank you for having me and you did you
said his name exactly right. I listen. Thank you Samalan ex.
Speaker 2 (57:09):
Say please let him know.
Speaker 1 (57:13):
Please, Okay, take care Nicklas so much.
Speaker 2 (57:17):
Bye bye.
Speaker 1 (57:18):
I just announced all my tour dates. They just went
on sale this week. It's called the High and Mighty Tour.
I will be starting in February of next year, so
I will be touring from February through June. So go
get your tickets now. If you want good seats and
you want to come see me perform, I will be
on the High and Mighty Tour.
Speaker 2 (57:39):
Do you want advice from Chelsea?
Speaker 4 (57:41):
Right into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. Find
full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching
at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered
by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine law And be sure
to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com
I just announced all my tour dates. They just went
on sale. It's called the High and Mighty Tour. I
will be starting debuting my new material in February of
next year, So I'm coming to Washington, d c Norfolk, Virginia, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus,
and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago,
(00:27):
of Course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Masa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri,
Saint Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham,
North of Carolina, Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modesto, California, and
(00:48):
port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington.
I will be touring from February through June. Those are
the cities that I'm in, So go get your tickets
now if you want good seats and you want to
come see me perform.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
I will be on the High and Mighty Tour.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Hi, Gatherine, Hi, Chelsea. I publishedn'tays, but Happy Halloween.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Oh god, I was trying to be a flying Hall
on Halloween so that I wouldn't have to show up
at any parties.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
I mean, I'm not going to show up at any parties.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Somebody invited me to a party with like that Severance
logo and it was the bottom half of my head
and the top half of Severance, and I was like,
I hope this is just the invitation.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
For me and not the whole party. But no, I
don't you know how I feel about Halloween.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Dude, You're not a dresser upper.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
No not.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Are you looking forward to it? You'll die for me
to ask you so you can talk about it.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
Well, I'm just going to have a little party because
Brad's birthday is around this time, so we'll be throwing
a little parties. We're gonna have like a Halloween slash
birthday party and yeah, just you know, still kind of
cobbling together a costume.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
But you know, I love Halloween.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
I know I know how you feel about Halloween.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I want to remind listeners that I've added to my
boycott of home Depot because of companies that cooperate with ICE.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Now we're adding Spotify. I deleted Spotify. I've deleted TikTok.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
I still have a TikTok account that my social media manages,
but I don't scroll TikTok anymore.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
I think the government running that is a shit show.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
And I so I'm boycotting home Depot and I'm boycotting
Spotify and more to come.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
Great, great, And I'm sure continuing on with the Target
boycott after the removal of the DA.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Yeah, Target is over. Which is the good store Walmart?
Speaker 3 (02:37):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
I mean they were always like the traditional evils. Costco
is pretty good, Like Costco.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Is Costco's good? Right they do?
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Yeah, cause I'd like to promote these good companies that
do good things, and like for hardware stores, like you know,
local hardware stores.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
If we could all start shot.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
There's supposed to be some economic blackout that starts November
twenty fifth through December second. I saw Rose O'donnald posted
about that, So that would be great if we can
all get on board with that.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
No shopping, no restaurants.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
I mean that's a little conflicting because I have a
show on November twenty ninth in Vegas.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
But I care more about the country than I care
about my show.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Yeah yeah, anyway, Economic Blackout November twenty something, I'm gonna
post about it.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
The only thing that anybody cares about is money. I
can't These ice videos are so disgusting. This administration is
so gross. Who's our guest today? Are they going to
cheer us up?
Speaker 4 (03:27):
Our guest today is Nicholas Sparks. He co wrote his
first spooky novel with m Night Shyamalan. They made the
story together, and his new novel, Remain Also is now
a New York Times number one bestseller.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Oh right, we have another author today. We have we're
back to back author weeks. By the way, I've read
Malala's book this week.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
And I've read Laura Lynn Jackson's who are both upcoming guests.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Malala's funny. I'm into her, She's real funny good.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Okay, Yeah, So Nicholas Sparks is here today, another best selling,
very famous all. I'm so excited to have him on
and talk to him about his new novel.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
So let's get going. Nicholas Sparks, Welcome to Dear Chelsea.
Speaker 5 (04:08):
Hey, I'm thrilled to be here. How fun is this?
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Oh my god, it's the King of Romance.
Speaker 5 (04:14):
The King. That's what they say, aren't you inspiring today?
I appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Oh no, oh, I'm here to inspire the whole world.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
We're in a dearth of inspiration, so I'm here to
help and you're here to help. I was just going
over the list of books that you've written. I mean
a lot of them have been made into movies, so
a lot of them. But let me just read them
out loud to you in case you've forgotten any remain.
Counting Remain is the newest one. That's what we're going
to be talking about today. Everybody Remain, a Counting Miracles, Dreamland,
(04:42):
The Wish, The Return, Every Breath, two by two, See Me,
The Longest Ride, The Best of Me, Safe Haven, The
Last Song, The Lucky One, The Choice, Dear John, at
First Sight, True Believer, Three Weeks with My Brother, The Wedding,
The Guardian, The Nights in Rodanthe. Yeah, I've watched something.
I've watched that a couple of times. I like Diane
(05:03):
Lane And who's the guy in that in the.
Speaker 5 (05:05):
Movie, Richard Gear.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Oh, yeah, of course they were so hot together. They
were in that. Yeah, they were in a couple of
a walk to.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Remember message in a Bottle, which was another classic, and
The Notebook, which I think is probably the most popular of.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Them all so far so far.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
But what's interesting, We're going to get into your movies
and your well, your books that were made into movies,
and your books that you've written in a minute, but
I wanted to talk a little about your latest Remain,
which you co wrote. Is this the first time you've
ever co written something with anyone?
Speaker 5 (05:36):
Well, I did a nonfiction book with my brother years ago,
three weeks with my brother that you you referenced there,
and so he and I were the co writers on that.
And then for the last song the screenplay, there was
a I worked with a co writer on that.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Okay, So what tell me about the difference in between that,
because this is you co wrote with M. Knight Shamalan,
who I used to call m Night Shaka Khan until
I could figure out how to pronounce his name properly.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
So now I can, and I'm pretty excited about it.
Speaker 5 (06:05):
Yeah, this was very different. The way we worked together
primarily was I gave him a long leash when it
came to the film, and he gave me a long
leash when it came to the novel, and you really
the way to think about this is the two of
us conceived this story together, and then he did one
(06:26):
side of the coin, the film side, and I did
the other side of the coin, the novel side. And
so I didn't really dig in and hammered down and
give long detailed notes on the screenplay, and he didn't edit,
for instance, the novel. We both decided to take this
story that we both came up with, and I did
(06:48):
my medium and he did his. It's the best way
to think about it.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Did you guys check in with each other like what
were did you have ten polls that you had to
follow or any sort of storyline that you had to
stick to so that they would be now and goetes
to each other.
Speaker 5 (07:01):
Oh yeah, here, So here's how it came about, right,
it's a very Hollywood thing. In the original part, it
was I have people in Hollywood. He has people in Hollywood.
My people got to with his people. I don't know,
they're at a party or something, said hey we should
get Nick and Knight. They should do something together.
Speaker 6 (07:17):
You know.
Speaker 5 (07:17):
I hear this from my Hollywood people all the time, right,
And ninety nine percent of them amount to nothing well.
That was in early January twenty three, and then in
March twenty three, my guy calls me and he says,
you've got a meeting with Knight. It's going to be
an in Pennsylvania at Knight's place. And the goal for
that meeting was I was going to come up with
(07:39):
an original story that would work as both a novel
and a film and that would satisfy my readers and
his fans. And then he was going to do the
same thing. So then we met in May of twenty
twenty three, primarily to see if we wanted to work
with each other, if we could work with each other,
if it was going to be more hassle than at Worth,
(08:01):
because are we both Prima Donna's. You know, people can
add stress to your life, and neither of us want
where we've reached. We've been at this thirty years. We
don't need more stress, right right, So we had this
great meeting. I pitched my idea, he pitched his. We
decided jointly to do his idea, and we hammered out
(08:22):
all of the or most of these specifics on the
idea that eventually became remain So then I didn't hear
anything until August of twenty twenty four, just a year
a year ago, August, so not that long ago. And
he calls me up and he says, I think this
is going to be my next movie, which means he's
(08:44):
going to write, direct, and produce. And so I say, oh,
then I guess I'm going to do a novel. Because
I didn't know what. He didn't know what we were
going to do. What were we going to do together?
Was I going to write a short story and he
would produce it. Was I going to do a novella?
Were we going to do a TV show? We didn't know. Anyways,
said this is going to be my next movie. So
(09:04):
I decide to do a novel. So he works on
the screenplay for about six weeks from late August till
about October twelfth. I talked to him two or three
times a week. You know, I'm cheerleading, I'm brainstorming, I'm
doing whatever.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
And are you guys making sure that you're on similar pages? No,
pun intended, he was.
Speaker 5 (09:24):
We already knew what the story was because we had
hammered that out in May of the previous year. So
then I get the script. I said, Okay, this is great.
This is exactly the story we talked about. But I'm
in a different medium. You know, I have more room
for backstory, I have more runway. I can hop into
the character's heads a little bit more.
Speaker 6 (09:43):
So.
Speaker 5 (09:43):
I set aside the novel I was working on and
started writing Remain in October, all of a sudden, on
a very big deadline. Finish it in January. This was
just last January. Go through the editing process. Here we are,
the book's coming out, the movies all ready been filmed,
and he's in the editing room. The novel's coming out,
and the film will be out in twenty twenty six,
(10:06):
very fast.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
That's such a tight timeline.
Speaker 4 (10:08):
You wrote the book starting in October and it's coming
out the following October.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Basically, why do you have any separation between the book
and the movie coming out? Because I would think it
would be fun to have them both released at the
same time.
Speaker 5 (10:21):
Primarily because you want to have a couple of lives
on the book. Basically, you want to have a hardcover
life and then a paperback life. So if you see
the cover of Remain, right, so it's really pretty and
it's a great book cover, but so we'll have that cover.
That'll be the hardcover, and then when the paperback comes along, well,
now we're probably going to see Jake and Phoebe on
(10:42):
the I say, right on the paperback.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Yeah, so Jake Jillen Hall starring in the movie with
Phoebe de Neever right our dinover din Okay, okay, the
girl from Bridgerton who Yeah, she's really good.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
So as a writer, I mean, first of all, you're
responsible for so many broken hearts. I just want to
come out and say that I don't know. I mean,
there must have been so many couples that lee that
read your books and or leave the theater after seeing
these movies and just leave their boyfriends. They're like, where's
where's my fucking message in a bottle? You know, like
(11:16):
I could only imagine because I remember as a young
person when I would watch, like when I would read
something really like romantic, because these books aren't like lusty,
I wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
It's not like smuty. I mean, their love stories.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
You're kind of known for writing romantic novels, right, and
not all of them have happy endings, right, right, So
it's not like it's just always the same formula. But
I would imagine that you've gotten a lot of feedback
about setting a measure of a standard of love and
romance at a certain level that a lot of men
(11:50):
probably can't attain or can't measure up to.
Speaker 5 (11:54):
I have heard such stories at my book signings, right
They're like, where's all where's my no, or where's my
John from dear John, or where's my land? And from
a walk to remember. I do hear those stories. And
at the same time, I think, in the course of
my career, I've had seven marriage proposals in lines to
sign my book. You know, I'll get up to the
(12:14):
table the duodle dropped to his knees, and I feel
so bad for him. I'm like, dude, you're you're in
a Walmart in Birmingham, Alabama. You know you really would
have proposed it a Walmart and Birmingham or something like that.
But it's happened, and you know, I hear. I get
a lot of letters also from people who who say
that the stories either remind me of their love story
(12:36):
or someone they love. I can't tell you how many
people wrote said the notebook is the story of my
grandparents or the story of my parents, or I lost
my sister, you know, or I lost the love of
my life to cancer, or I was, you know, in
love with a girl and she left me because you know,
I was deployed too long, like happened in Dear John.
And so, you know, you get a lot more of
(12:59):
those kinds of stories. Then people coming up and say
I've ruined I've ruined men for them for the which
I'm glad. I would feel bad if that was more common.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Actually, no, that's what you come to Dear Chelsea for. Yeah, yeah,
to get upraided.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Okay, so how did you begin your Like, did you
set out wanting to become a romance novelist?
Speaker 5 (13:21):
No? No, I was a I was a regular guy.
I was a good student, right, I was. Well, let's
see how far back I was regular suburban family, high
school valedictorian. I was also a pretty good runner. I
got a full scholarship to the University Notre Dame for
track and field. Broke the school record there still hold it,
by the way, after forty years.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Wow, no one's broken your record.
Speaker 5 (13:43):
Not for forty years.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Oh wow, that's lucky.
Speaker 5 (13:46):
Yeah, you know, they they've had the horse races, they
just haven't had the horses, right, That's what I like
to say. And let's see, I spent the first couple
of few years after graduation trying to figure out what
I wanted to do, and I was writing on the side.
I wrote a novel when I was nineteen and another
at twenty two.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Was it a romance novel at nineteen?
Speaker 5 (14:05):
So first one was horror novel and the second one
was a murder mystery. Okay, so when we look at
remain right, a little supernatural little mystery. See goes right
back to my roots. Then I was selling pharmaceuticals, had
a midlife crisis about twenty seven years old. What am
I doing with my life? And I decided to give
writing another shot because those first novels had been unpublished,
(14:28):
and I wrote the notebook and here we are.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Oh god, well, let's talk about that, because I can't
tell you how many times we've had callers come in
that are working jobs that are dissatisfying and they want
to take a leap of faith and get into their
creative zone and do something like write a novel or
write a book, and they're always torn in betwixt in between.
So let's just talk about that moment in time for
you personally when you were a pharmaceutical wrap and how
(14:53):
you made the decision to just kind of take a
huge leap like that.
Speaker 5 (14:57):
Oh well, you know, thank you for giving me way
more kudos than I deserve.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Well, you already pumped up your track record.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
I mean, I'm just trying to support that, trying to
support the storytelling.
Speaker 5 (15:08):
I'm really proud of that.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
We're all proud of you right now.
Speaker 5 (15:13):
So at that time, I was married, I had two kids,
and my second son was real young. He was months
old and he was not a good sleeper, so he
was up all night basically. So my wife at the time, Kathy,
she was going to bed very early, you know, maybe
eight o'clock because she wanted to get maybe three or
(15:33):
four hours because she knew she was going to be
awake the rest of the night. So I was kind
of alone. I would work my job during the day,
but then I have a choice, it's eight pm. I
can watch TV or chase a dream. I said, you know,
I'm going to chase a dream. Goes to TV and
on and then then I begin to write. So I
(15:54):
wrote that in the evenings and maybe one morning on
a weekend when the family hadn't yet decided what we're
all going to do, go to the beach or whatever.
And over a period of six months, while working, I
finished the novel. Now get this, I finished it. Then
I had to go do the agent thing and you know,
work with her and edit the book. And I sold
(16:16):
it in October nineteen ninety five, a year before came out.
Sold it for the advance was really big back then.
It's kind of big now. It was like a million dollars.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
How did you get a million dollars for your first book?
Speaker 5 (16:30):
Yeah? A million dollars for the first It was the notebook.
It's the notebook, I know.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
But like, was there bidding war created? Like how did Yeah?
Speaker 5 (16:38):
There was a yeah, everybody wanted it and there was
a bidding war. I get a million dollars and the
book doesn't come out for a year. But at that time, yes,
that's a great deal of money. But you know, when
I was pretty good in math, and I was a
business finance major, and you do the math, you're like, okay,
after agent, you know, fifteen percent, and.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Then you're saying an acquire yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I say.
Speaker 5 (17:04):
And then I say Okay, I got enough to pay
off my very reasonable two hundred thousand dollars mortgage. I
have enough to put money away for my kids to
go to college. I got enough to maybe, you know,
put some in retirement. But that's about it. You know,
I'm twenty eight years old, and I'm going to have
to turn on the lights and eat food the rest
of my life. So I don't quit my job, and
(17:28):
I don't even tell anyone at work that I've just
basically won the lottery here. I worked for another year
until October nineteen ninety six. Now the book comes out,
and now I have to tell everybody because I'm on
you know, CBS this morning, and I'm in all the newspapers.
My boss finds out. So I did not quit until then.
(17:50):
I think the Notebook had been on the list for
fourteen weeks. It was February of ninety seven that I quit,
and I wasn't even willing to quit then, except Message
in a Bottle was going very well, and the publisher
had made an offer on that one, and it was
more than I earned for the Notebook, and I said, okay,
(18:11):
maybe I can make a living doing this, so way
less bravery than you give me credit for I kind
of played both sides. I guess.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
So you were able to basically write two books while
you were working as a pharmaceutical rep.
Speaker 7 (18:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (18:24):
Yeah, I was about half done with Message in a
Bottle when it was sold. But yeah, I do.
Speaker 4 (18:28):
Think that's such great advice, and it is what we've
told people in the past.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
You don't have to like quit your job and then
go try to be an actor or whatever your thing is.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
Keep doing what you can do while you're still like
keeping lights on.
Speaker 5 (18:40):
Like you said, Well, and I had two children, right,
and my wife was not working at a time. We'd
made the joint decision that she would stay home when
the kids were little. So what was Yeah, it just
seemed like the logical choice. And you're writing a novel. Yeah,
it's a lot of work, and it's a challenge in
this and that. But depending on how long it is,
(19:01):
if you're not writing war and peace, you know, I mean,
it's reasonable Like when I sit down to write, I
try to write two thousand words. What typical novel is
one hundred thousand words, So it might take me, let's say,
one hundred and thirty thousand to get the one hundred
thousand that I keep right, Well, that's sixty five days
(19:21):
of writing over a three hundred and sixty five day year. Now,
even with a notebook, let's say the notebook wasn't even that.
The notebook I think was about fifty to sixty thousand words.
So even if I'm only writing it a thousand words
a day, of course I had time in the evenings. Right,
you crank out five hundred words or one thousand words.
(19:42):
Eventually the novel's going to get done. I think it's
more because I had written a couple of novels earlier
in life that were never published. I never went to
the keyboard and said to myself. There was never the
thought that I wasn't going to finish. There was the thought,
am I good? It was going to be any good?
Going to be terrible? There was thought there, but not
(20:04):
the thought that I wasn't going to finish. So hey
a little bit closer, Hey, a little bit closer.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Okay, Now a real question. Do you cry when you
watch your movies the books that have been made into movies.
Did you cry during the notebook?
Speaker 5 (20:17):
Uh? Yeah, of course you got to cry. Yeah, right,
I don't think. Look, I'm not weeping and reaching for tissues.
But I get a little tearry, you know, I got
tiry at the Notebook musical too. I mean, they just
did such a beautiful job.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
What about when you reread your material at times?
Speaker 5 (20:34):
Sure, I'll get choked up sometimes sometimes, and and of
course I don't reread all the time. I'm not that vain,
but I'll pick up a book. You know, when you
first finish a novel, you don't want to see the
thing for about five years. You're you're it's just like
the worst friend ever here, he just abused you for
years and you're done with them, right, So you got
to give it some space.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Well, and nowadays, when you publish a book, it's like, okay,
you finish a book, it's a labor of love. Then
you know, you go through the editing process, which.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
Is less creatively fulfilling.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Yes, yes, it's just kind of tedious, and I mean
it's important part of the process, but it's not like
I don't know why I'm acting like I'm from Canada
saying process. But anyway, it's an important part of it.
But it's also it's just not a fulfilling part. It's like, yeah,
I liked learning about language and set in structure and
making sure I'm using the right words and the most
powerful words when that's you know, appropriate. But also then
(21:27):
you get then the book is done. Then you have
to shoot the cover. Then you have to agree on
a cover. Then they send you ten thousand book slips.
Now this is the new thing where they send you
ten thousand bucks slips, which are the slips or the
first sheets that go into the book, and you have
to sign ten thousand fucking copies. And that really takes
the joy out of the entire process.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
It gives you a carple tunnel.
Speaker 5 (21:51):
Yeah, I've often joked about that. You know. People say,
they'll say what do you do? I say, I'm a
writer and they say, well, what do you write? I say, well,
mainly I write my name over and over.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Over and over and over again. Yeah. I just got
the e.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
Schwab's new book.
Speaker 4 (22:05):
She did The Invisible Life of Eddie LaRue, and she
did thirty thousand for her.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
I'm like, that's too many.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Somebody needs too many.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Next time I threw my back out twice, it stagning
my last ten thousand batch of books. The next time
I write a book, I need to be suspended from
the ceiling, preferably a ceiling fan in some sort of
suspension gear where my back.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Is not the position in an awkward way.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
So I could just go like this, because you know,
you could stamp them, but nobody wants to do that.
When you care about your readers, you want to, you know.
So I mean, it's not that your pigeon holed in
wrote like romance novels, but you've kind of sort of
like you've kind of chosen to write those books. Do
you feel at all like that's what you're supposed to write,
or do you feel pigeonholed in any way?
Speaker 5 (22:50):
Look, I write because I want people to read them,
and look, I know what my readers have liked, and
so I try to write in kind of that. But
there's less pigeonholing than you'd think, because I try to
make each novel very different, even though we know the
ideas very simple. It's a love story. It's going to
(23:10):
be said in North Carolina. But other than that, I
want it to be as different as possible. So I'll
write some in first person, some in third person, some
in third person, limited omniscient. I'll do some with a
stories and b stories that collide in the end in
a way a reader don't expect. I'll do epic novels.
I'll do characters in their teens or their forties, or
characters in their eighties. I'll have happy endings, bittersweet endings,
(23:33):
and sad endings. I'll have tragedy and other forms. With
that said, I also vary the themes. So some might
be love and danger. The one remain here is love
and the supernatural. I've done love and mystery. So the
great thing when you're just really writing about human emotion
is I have a great ability to add the elements
(23:54):
of all kinds of different stories. Right, I've had I've
had soldiers in my knowledge. I've had mysteries in my novels.
I've had arsons, you know, in my novels. So all
sorts of different things. So while it is pigeonholing, yeah,
it's a love story in North Carolina. Aside from remain
(24:14):
which is said in Cape Cod, it's okay. What I
would tell people is, even though it's those two things,
it's different than anything else I've ever done. There's going
to be other themes you don't expect, and you won't
see the ending coming, and that's there's a lot of
a challenge in that, and I enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Yeah, I mean, I think one of the key things
you said is instead of like, you know, your wife
goes to bed at eight eight pm, when you had
the little kids and you had a choice to sit
on the sofa and watch television or shut the TV
off and write a fucking book, And I think there
in lies your answer. You know you could be so,
I mean, I wrestled with this all the time. Yesterday
(24:52):
I was reading my friend's book Who's Coming on the podcast?
And I was like, I went to go turn on
the TV and the TV's weren't working. I'm in this
rental house, were working, the cable was down, And I
was like, oh, and.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Then, well I could possibly read a book, idiot.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
So I went and I got the book and I
was read a chapter and then I saw the TV's
come on, and I'm like, you have a choice right now.
You can either continue reading, which is better for your brain,
or be mine, you know, mindless, Like you know, watching
TV can be so numbing, and you know it's very
rare that there is an incredible show out there. Now,
I mean, there's a lot of shows out there, but
to get a really good one. So but I think
(25:27):
therein lies the difference. You do have to make it
the choice to do the work. You know, in order
to take the chance to try something new, you have
to put the effort in.
Speaker 5 (25:35):
Yeah, and of course these days you also have to
put down the phone. Yeah, right, I think people. I
think some people might spend more time in front of
a screen than a TV screen. I don't know, I'm
not it seems like it, especially, so you have to
now put two things down, I guess to chase it.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
How do you manage your phone, Nicholas.
Speaker 5 (25:56):
Oh, it's not a big deal, you know, once you
get into look fart around on my phone, just like
everybody does. But I probably you know, I work out
a couple hours a day. I probably read two or
three hours a day. I work five or six hours
a day. And I know I'm on the phone talking
to friends and visiting with friends. Not every day. I'm
(26:17):
not that social, but yeah, enough in the in the
course of a week. So and then you know you're
sleeping and you're on your phone the rest of the time,
usually playing games. I'm a big backgammon. Nut. So I
play a lot of.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Backgamming, okay, And so do you write five to six
hours a day?
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Is that what you said?
Speaker 6 (26:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (26:33):
Thinks about five on days that I write, but I
don't write every day.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Do you write first thing in the morning.
Speaker 5 (26:40):
I write after coffee and after my workout.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Oh okay. Interesting.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
We talked to a Mitch Album last week and he
writes first thing in the morning. And I was telling
him about this book that I had picked up years
ago called Daily Rituals, which talks about all these famous
kind of authors, physicists, philosophers and what their kind of
work ethics are were, and a lot of them just
get up, you know, five in the morning, and they
work for three hours and then they're done for the
(27:06):
rest of the day. Their creative juice is pretty much there,
just first thing in the morning. That's I'm a first
thing in the morning kind of person. That's when I
get my best shit done.
Speaker 6 (27:14):
Well.
Speaker 5 (27:14):
I'm an early riser. I'm usually up about four thirty
or five most morning, but I can't start my day
without coffee, and I like to. I like to get
my prayers in and get my dog out because I
like my dog too, and then I like to exercise,
you know, I mean, I just I know, if I'm
not after i'm done writing, I'm too tired to exercise.
(27:36):
So I got to write first. Yeah, and you know,
so I'm usually in the you know, in front of
the computer, not late about nine, and it's not five
or six hours, usually three to five. Today I think
it was like three. It really depends. Again, I don't
write every day. Some days I edit, and some days
I'm just trying to figure out what I'm supposed to
do next. So and that it's not a faucet that
(27:59):
you can turn on. I say with my way of
describing writing a novel is you have to know what
to write. That's part of it, and then you have
to know how to write it. Now, if you know
what you're doing the how, you can always get through that.
It may take more or less time than you think.
But if you don't know what to do, man, there's
no reason to put any words down at all. I
(28:20):
think I spent three or four days trying to figure
out what the next five hundred or seven hundred words
were in this novel, and didn't do anything for three
days or four days, and boom seven hundred words came
in like twenty minutes. I'm like, literally, I'm like, this
is ridiculous. I wish I could turn it on and
off like a faucet. But I don't understand that.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
You're saying, the idea has to come to you and
then you can put it to paper.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
You have to have a direction.
Speaker 5 (28:47):
Yeah, right, exactly if you don't know what you're writing
and what would work exactly best within all these other
ideas about what the novel is supposed to be, not
only what specific like how do I discribe this thing,
this particular passage of time without being repetitive or boring,
and knowing that I have to do this again in
(29:07):
a couple of chapters where I am going to have
to use this one way to do it, But what's
the other way to do it? And how can I
do it? And what's a new way and what's going
to be interesting and flow? I had no idea. I
had no idea. It took a little editing on what
I'd already written, and then okay, I was ready to
write the words and they just literally poured out.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
I love it as somebody who writes a lot of
romance novels. What is the most romantic gesture that you've
ever done for someone else, Oh, gosh.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Or one that's been done for you.
Speaker 5 (29:43):
Yeah, you know. It's funny. When I was married, when
my Kathy liked at the time because we had children, right,
we had two, and then we had three more, so
we had five kids. So it was always a very
bustly busy house. And well, what she really most appreciated
were evenings off, like where she could just you take
(30:07):
care of the kids. I don't want to feed them
the whole bit, all the way into bed, you know,
do this one's soccer practice and do this with the others.
I just want to sit on the back porch for
a while. Then I want to take a long tub.
Then I want to go lay in bed and watch
brainless TV and then pass out. So I made a
point to do those those kinds. That's what she swore
(30:29):
she wanted more than anything.
Speaker 3 (30:30):
Yeah, I think that's real, real life romance.
Speaker 5 (30:33):
And she told me that was romantic.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Yeah yeah, no, no, no, I can appreciate that that's romantic.
I mean, I'm not interested in getting flowers from a
lover like I find actual traditional and I don't even
have children. But I find very traditional romantic things unnecessary.
It's really those deeper meaning, like very thoughtful gestures that
really actually make a difference in everybody's lives.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
When you really know somebody and what they need. That's
real love and romance.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Okay, we're going to take a break and we're going
to be right back with Nicholas Sparks.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
And we're already back with Nicholas Sparks. How quick was that?
Speaker 5 (31:10):
You know? The wonders of technology, they never ceased to amaze. Yeah,
I love it.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
Whoever came up with Zoom, and whoever came up with
docu sign, and whoever came up with an airflyer. I need,
I need to personally thank all of those people because
those are three of the biggest game changers.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
In my last in the last three years.
Speaker 5 (31:29):
Yes, all right, what do you put in your air
fire with anything?
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Everything? Everything? I can't cook, so I put anything in there.
Speaker 5 (31:36):
Okay, I like that. I like that.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
I have one of those.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
It's like a toaster oven also airfire, so you can
turn it on toaster, you can turn it on air fryer.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
I mean, I don't know how to change the settings.
So it's always on air fire.
Speaker 5 (31:49):
I got well, air fires are great. They're especially great
when it comes to reheating things.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Yeah, that's usually what I'm doing anyway, which is and.
Speaker 5 (31:57):
Literally that I will be using my air fryer tonight.
So I'm with you.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
There's nothing better than seeing, like you know, if I
love salmon, I love chicken, like putting it in just
for two minutes and just hearing the sizzle to get
the crispiness. I'm like, oh my god, this is all
I've ever wanted was crispy food.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
That's really my that's what I want.
Speaker 5 (32:14):
Yeah, I agree, I agree. Amazing And yeah, I'm with
you on the others too. I like docu sign and
and Zoom. They're very they're very handy. I remember I
used to get a lot of contracts that I used
to have to sign. I'm published in like fifty different languages.
I mean, so for every book, you're getting this, and
then I mean I get I get that, X's this
(32:37):
thing you know, uh, you know, just filled with contracts
I have to sign. Yeah, now it's click click click.
I love it. It's great.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
Yeah, docu sign is really the best, the best thing
that's ever happened. I mean not to have to sit
there with somebody with a notary and sign contracts.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
I'm like, oh my god, fingerprints. I'm like, no.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
And once you check into docus it's like a commercial
for DocuSign. Once you check into docuside and give them
your first signature, that's it.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
It just does it.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
I'm like, oh my god, I just want to like,
I want to perform for that person and some whatever
way they want.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
Me to, and I will find the CEO of docu
sign and get you.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Thank you, Nicholas. This is a part of the show
where we take questions from callers.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
Okay, great, okay.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
Yeah, Well our first question comes from Keisha.
Speaker 4 (33:20):
She says, Hi, Chelsea and Catherine and any other beautiful
folks who read this.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
I'm a writer.
Speaker 4 (33:25):
I'm actually sometimes part time, sometimes contract sometimes unpaid sometimes
for myself writer and have been for many years. I'm
in my thirties and make my money in a career
that's not writing. That said, my writing has been published
and I've been paid for my writing for over a decade.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
Now here's what I want to get a read on.
Speaker 4 (33:43):
Are any freelancers currently making it out there? Do you
really have to have a whole online persona read impressive
Instagram or TikTok to get traction. These days, the best
luck I've had to make a career ie money is
copywriting in my technical field subject matter. It's extremely sane
ties and I obviously can't put much of a stamp
on anything. Should I just be grateful I'm getting paid
(34:04):
to write at all? And why is this reading like
a diary entry?
Speaker 3 (34:07):
Dear Chelsea.
Speaker 4 (34:08):
I'm interested in thoughts and advice to advance my writing career,
or perhaps to redefine it very very best, Kisha. I
thought about making this anonymous, but isn't that empathetical to
my whole thing?
Speaker 1 (34:17):
Yes, yes, you can't be anonymous, Kisha. But actually we
were just having this very conversation. This is our special guest.
Nicholas Sparks is here today.
Speaker 6 (34:25):
Hi, Wow, nice to meet you.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Yeah, how are you?
Speaker 6 (34:29):
He was just the person?
Speaker 1 (34:30):
Yeah, exactly, Nicholas. Tell her what you were telling us?
Speaker 2 (34:34):
Please?
Speaker 5 (34:35):
Well, when I first began writing, I ended up writing
my novels in my spare time after work, usually in
the evening. I would write from eight o'clock to eleven
o'clock or maybe even midnight and then i'd work my
regular shift. I'd also write one day on the weekend.
I had a wife and I had two young children
(34:55):
at home, so and I really felt like writing was
important to me. I wanted to chase a dream, so
I made time for it. So I think if I
was you, I were to really start and really answer
the very first question is what kind of writing do
you want to do? Is it? Do you want to
be a novelist. Do you want to be one of
(35:17):
the people that, let's say, publishing houses call to write
a famous person's biography. Do you want to be a
you know, an anonymous biographer. Do you want to be
someone who publishes on substack and journalistic pieces? What kind
of writer do you want to be? And I think
until you're clear about exactly the kind that you want
(35:41):
to be, you're probably just better doing what you're doing
and mastering the skills that you're developing, because, as you said,
you know, you do some copy this, you do some
writing on your own, you do some writing that gets published,
and that's all great. All of writing is a skill
and you do need to practice it. And it's wonderful
(36:02):
that not only do you get paid a little bit
to do it, but you also make time to write
what you want to write. So once you decide then
what you want to write, then you have to break
it down further. Can I ask what your dream writing
thing would be? Screenplays, novels, nonfiction? You know, what are
(36:23):
you thinking?
Speaker 7 (36:24):
What I've really enjoyed that I've actually been able to
do has been some short stories, some short format fiction.
The problem is obviously, like short format as a medium
is kind of shrinking. We'll see how that goes. But
I have actually really enjoyed that. I kind of like
those sort of pernal storytelling. It's very powerful to me,
(36:46):
it's very fun. I do have like half a novel
geared towards adults that I actually found not that fun.
Speaker 6 (36:55):
And then there's like some.
Speaker 7 (36:56):
A little bit longer, maybe middle children age books that
I have.
Speaker 6 (37:01):
Been really getting into.
Speaker 7 (37:02):
Okay, I have a little kid now, and now I'm
thinking about like sort of stories that I sort of
tell her, and like how would that change when she's
like in the second or third or fourth grade, and
how fun that would be. And I'm actually really enjoying
sort of plotting that out. And I'm a warning person,
so I like, what you're saying about you would carve
out your time in the evenings.
Speaker 6 (37:20):
Honey, I'm in bed. But what I do do, and.
Speaker 7 (37:22):
I love that you said that, is I do tend
to get up around four thirty or five nowadays, and
everybody else.
Speaker 6 (37:27):
Is a sleep till seven. Yeah.
Speaker 7 (37:29):
Yeah, I think I should make more of an effort
to protect that.
Speaker 6 (37:32):
Right.
Speaker 5 (37:33):
Sure, that's a great thing, and you're right. Short story
fiction is really tough these days, but it's been tough
for probably twenty or thirty years. With that said, you know,
it's a wonderful way to develop your storytelling ability. What
you might consider is maybe taking and this is an idea,
and feel free to throw this out because it's not good.
(37:54):
But you know, you think of some of these ideas
that you're thinking about for your daughter maybe in second
or third grade, and fairy tales or whatever, whatever adventure
tale or a mystery tale. Right, what if you actually
compile those and it's you're not trying to just publish
one story in an offbeat magazine, but you eventually try
(38:14):
to publish those stories as as a collection and anthology
or another option is to perhaps and you don't have
to take these ideas is perhaps if you so much
enjoy short story fiction, think of a broad story with
multiple characters and somehow tell a dozen short stories that
all come together at.
Speaker 6 (38:35):
The love that.
Speaker 5 (38:37):
So there's different ways you can chase your dream. But
of course, you know, we only have so much time.
And good for you for really developing your skill.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
Yeah, I mean, I think that's great advice.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
I was going to say one of those things, not
the second one, which is even better advice than the
first one. I mean, you can combine all of those
stories and I mean make that a big book, or
you can make one, you know, all of these stories
within one big book, but you could have a book
of short stories, you know those those are still relevant.
And also just like I had this conversation with a
group of women from like Silicon Valley last night. We
(39:11):
had a tech kind of meeting, and it's kind of like,
don't let I hate letting like the market dictate what
you're going to bring to it. Like, you know, when
you have a talent and you have a desire, do
what you love to do and bring it to the marketplace.
Don't let whatever's popular or not popular dictate what you're
going to do in your spare time. You have the
(39:33):
spare time, that's the first thing you need. You have
the time in the morning, as you already mentioned, just
use that time, like dedicate that time to really focusing
on one of those two options that Nick mentioned. And
I think, you know, like in a couple of months,
you're going to be farther down the road. Listen, children's
books are always going to be viable. They're always going
to be a selling People always want a nice parable
(39:53):
or an adventure series. You know, that's something you can
make more and more out of in success. You know,
remember Ramona, what was her name, Ramona? Those are the
book yeah, other than Judy Bloom, like Ramona and yeah,
the cat ate my jumpsuit was Judy Bloom. But then
there was another series with Ramona who was always in
trouble and I love that. But like you know, when
(40:14):
you're thinking about children's stories, like that's that's something that's
kind of always has the potential to resonate. So it's
really about picking exactly like where you're going to put
your energy into and just giving yourself that time every
day and doing it.
Speaker 7 (40:27):
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And I think
sometimes you see somebody to say like keep going, keep
doing it. And also the whole thing about you know,
building a platform. I think that's part of where it
does get a little bit rough, because it's like you're
kind of going to the marketplace.
Speaker 6 (40:42):
You know, what's marketable? Am I marketed? Bull?
Speaker 7 (40:45):
It's like part before the horse, and so that can
be pretty like kind of a bummer. But I like
that you guys are like, don't even think about that
right now.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
Yeah, And also like don't make it a bummer making
an adventure, make it like okay, fun, Okay, I'm I'm
going to go online. I'm going to go on my
social media platform and ask people what would they like
the most. Would you like a short you know, would
you like a short story for your second or third grader?
A book about being a young person or a young child,
would you like you know, maybe you could get feedback
that way, you know, But don't be worried about the
(41:18):
response of anybody at this point. Just be worried about
moving towards your goal, because what you said in the
letter is like, should I be satisfied writing this kind
of sanitized stuff, Like no, you shouldn't be satisfied with that.
That's a way for you to make money, but you
should go after your dreams. Like we only have a
short time here, you might as well make them count
(41:39):
for you.
Speaker 4 (41:40):
I forget where I heard this, but recently I read
something that said something along the lines of your desires
are what brings you towards your purpose, So like, don't
discount that you do want more than that.
Speaker 7 (41:51):
And like mister smacks, it counts. It's a good experience.
Like I'm definitely learning self editing is a really.
Speaker 6 (41:59):
Big yeah that I've learned a lot from copywriting.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Yeah, edit to amplify, edit to amplify.
Speaker 6 (42:06):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 7 (42:07):
It's also just hard, you know, you start to get
older and you start to think it all ties into
sort of like youth culture and tacking up these audience
numbers on these sort of arbitrary formats that maybe that's no.
Speaker 2 (42:18):
But it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
But also on the subject of age, like that is
there's a million people that are your age. Who cares
about what young people are doing? Focus on the people
that you're going to be servicing. Focus on your group
of people. Don't worry about what people who are twenty
and thirty years old are doing.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
That's not relevant.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
To you, you know, so I just like, don't forget
there's a bunch of other people. It's not like you
have to be this new, young, fresh hot thing all
of the time. That's not real. That's just what we've
been served up. So just enjoy like where you are
in your life. Appreciate it. You have the passion and
now you just need the commitment and the drive.
Speaker 6 (42:54):
I really appreciate that.
Speaker 7 (42:55):
And you're a great testament to that of you're not
chasing anything you've own and developed sort of based on
your interests, and that's been really powerful to see.
Speaker 2 (43:05):
Oh well, I love that. Thank you. Will you follow
up with us? Yes, keep us posted absolutely.
Speaker 6 (43:11):
Thank y'all so much. I hope you have a good one.
Speaker 1 (43:14):
Thank yousha good writing question for us for our special
guests today specially.
Speaker 4 (43:20):
Well, this next question isn't about writing, but it is
about a family secret. And I feel like you are
someone who is a special a specialist in juicy secrets.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
And fictional family special families unless you have some real
ones you want to smell necklaces.
Speaker 4 (43:35):
Well, our next question comes from Lynn. She says, Dear Chelsea,
three and a half years ago, I rekindled my relationship
with my older sister without telling the rest of my family.
She was nine when I was born, and as a
little girl, I idolized her. My love of tied I
and the grateful dead comes straight from her. In the eighties,
when she was applying to colleges, there was a huge
fight between her and my parents. My parents told her
(43:57):
they couldn't afford to pay the tuition to the college
of her dream. There were some harsh words on both sides.
It destroyed their relationship and she cut herself off from
my family. Growing up, I asked questions about why I
no longer saw her, and basically was told it was
her choice to be so selfish. Years later, her husband
actually wrote me a letter and told me that she
missed me and would like to have a relationship with
(44:18):
just me. I hate to admit it, but at the
time I was not ready for that. I was still
under the impression that my dad was perfect, and I
told her as much when I called her.
Speaker 3 (44:26):
I was awful and so hurtful.
Speaker 4 (44:28):
After I had my own kids, though, it started to
dawn on me that parents are just doing the best
they can. In fact, I started thinking that it was
my parents who fucked up more than my sister.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
Yeah, it sounds like it.
Speaker 3 (44:38):
At eighteen.
Speaker 4 (44:38):
She was a child when the rift happened, and it
all just made me so sad. I felt like I
was missing a piece for thirty years and I just
flat out missed my big sister. So I reached out
online and we agreed to meet. Over the last three years,
we have become so close again. We have a ton
of similarities beyond just how much we look alike. We're
both teachers, same political beliefs, we love cats over dogs,
even our mannerisms become part of each other's families. Here
(45:02):
is my problem. All of this has happened in secret.
On my side. I haven't told my parents our younger
sister that I have a relationship with my older sister,
And at first it was to protect the fragile relationship
I was trying to form, but now it's just out
of worry and guilt.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
She wants nothing to do with my.
Speaker 4 (45:16):
Parents or younger sister, and I worry about hurting my dad,
who is in the early stages of dementia. I would
keep this a secret forever, but now my kids have
formed a relationship with my older sister and her family too.
We're very close with my parents and my kids see
them every day. I feel awful having them lie to
my parents when we have plans with my older sister
and her family. I don't want my older sister to
be some guilty secret. Do I confess to my parents
(45:39):
and younger sister? And if so, how do I do
it in a way that's not going to hurt their
feelings since I've been hiding this from them for years?
Speaker 2 (45:45):
Help?
Speaker 5 (45:46):
Lynn?
Speaker 2 (45:47):
Hi? This is Nicholas Sparks, our special guest today.
Speaker 5 (45:50):
Hi, and yeah, do you want me to answer this question?
Speaker 2 (45:53):
Would you like to go first? You're welcome to I don't.
Speaker 5 (45:57):
I don't think I have the expertise to answer such
a question other than to say, you know, if you're
still close with your parents, I don't see how you
can continue to lie to them. Right what they do
with information is going to be up to them. They
might be reasonable, they might not be. But I certainly
don't think it's good that your kids have now kind
(46:18):
of got caught up into it. Not like they're lying
to them, but when you're going to go see the
sister and her family and they have to lie about that,
I always kind of lead my life and I really do,
and most everyone who's very close with me would agree
with this is Look, this is who I am. I'd
(46:39):
rather you know the real me and choose to have
a relationship with me or like me or dislike me
after this. But here's the real me, and I don't
try to hide that. And I don't recall ever losing
someone with that kind of honesty. That was an important
(47:00):
to me. Now I don't know your parents, and they
might be that kind, but I would say, you think
you have a relationship with your parents, but they don't
even know the real you. They have a relationship with
a facade of you. And I'm older than you, so
I yeah, I just don't really care anymore. What here
(47:24):
I am? And if you don't like me, you don't
want to talk to me any more. Okay, good on you.
Wish you well, Lynne.
Speaker 1 (47:29):
Can I ask you this all happened because of college,
because she was they had a disagreement over where she
was going to go to college. Yeah, are your parents
religious or something like?
Speaker 2 (47:40):
Is there?
Speaker 3 (47:41):
I just can't believe, like an un blow up?
Speaker 1 (47:43):
Yeah, one blow up and they're so close with the
rest of the family.
Speaker 2 (47:46):
And they just extricate it.
Speaker 1 (47:47):
She was like ostracized from the family for the rest
of her life.
Speaker 8 (47:51):
So it wasn't that she was well, I mean, I
guess she was kind of ostracized. So now I was nine,
so this is Yeah, I've piecemealed it back together a
little bit and we've talked a little bit about it,
but we've just tried to kind of move on. That
was I guess the biggest argument that set her over
the edge, to be like, you don't even care about
(48:13):
me going to college. Therefore I'm going to do what
I want to do and i want nothing to do
with you. So she removed herself from the relationship, and
my parents just basically pretended she never existed after that,
as did the rest of my dad's side of the family.
Speaker 1 (48:31):
Yeah, I would just I mean, honestly, it's really that's
it's not your problem. You're you're the fact that you
reconnected with your sister is beautiful and that's exactly what
you should do, and you should probably encourage your younger
sister to reconnect with your sister too, because anybody who
can write their own child off at eighteen years old,
is that's not right, you know, and I mean, obviously
(48:52):
that sounds like I'm passing judgment on your parents, But
like I.
Speaker 2 (48:54):
Agree with Nick, Like you want to be upfront.
Speaker 1 (48:57):
There's nothing wrong with what you're doing reconnecting with one
of your face family members who was kind of taken
out of your life as a nine year old kid.
I lost my brother at nine, Like, it's not the
same circumstance, but I would do anything to be able
to reconnect with him, to be able to have a
conversation with him, you know, Like, of course, that's a
natural instinct, that's a natural way for a human being
to relate to another person in your family and your Yeah,
(49:20):
your father is in the beginning stages of dementia.
Speaker 2 (49:22):
That's unfortunate.
Speaker 1 (49:23):
But it's also not your responsibility to take care of
your parents' feelings. You're an adult who has children that
you want to set an example for, right.
Speaker 2 (49:33):
I completely agree.
Speaker 8 (49:34):
So I have intentions of telling my parents, Like, I
feel bad that I've waited.
Speaker 2 (49:40):
Four years to tell them.
Speaker 8 (49:42):
I'm just trying to figure out at this point how
to do it without a feeling like a bomb.
Speaker 5 (49:48):
I have an idea. Okay, it's the best way. Go over,
have a nice stay with them, and then when there's
ten minutes to go until you have to leave, send
the kids the caar, talk to them. You'll give them
a hug, say oh before I go, you should really
know this. Tell them. Then go get in the car.
Let those two deal with it without you having to
(50:10):
see their reaction. Okay, and then call, you know, a
couple of days or whatever your date your call schedule is,
say hey, hey mom, hey dad, how you doing or
whatever you do? That's what I would do. Yeah, and say, okay,
we're going to talk about this for the next three hours. No, No,
this is more of a you're not doing anything wrong.
(50:32):
You tell them, and then you let those two deal
with it.
Speaker 3 (50:36):
Yeah, that's great.
Speaker 4 (50:37):
I also think some of the guilt of this is
coming from like how long it's been. I think get
nebulous on that detail.
Speaker 5 (50:43):
Just say, look, I've reconnected her with her and we've
become pretty close, and I just thought that you should
know that. I just didn't feel I felt it wouldn't
be good of me to lie. I don't want to
raise my kids, you know, knowing this lie. And I
just wanted you to know that we've reconnected, we're really
getting along my kids. It's like her kids, and I
think she's a terrific, wonderful person. Done walk to the car.
Speaker 2 (51:05):
How do you feel about that, Lynn?
Speaker 8 (51:07):
Yeah, No, I feel like I could do that for sure.
I actually had talked to my therapist about ways as
well to try and just like drop the truth bomb
and run. The funny thing is I don't. Actually I'm
horrible at keeping secrets, so the fact that this is
a secret that I've been keeping is like me alive.
Speaker 1 (51:28):
Yeah, I mean I would also just not You don't
have to explain every single detail, you know what I mean.
You just kind of give them the information that's absolutely
necessary and walk to the car and follow up with
them a couple days later. And if they don't want
to talk to you for a while, then they don't
want to talk.
Speaker 2 (51:42):
To you for a while.
Speaker 1 (51:43):
But it's better just to tell the truth, you know,
and also for you for the sake of your children,
you know what I mean, You just have to demonstrate
how you want them to go through life. And lies
are the worst and they all always come out. Everyone
finds out about everything, So I don't understand why people
continue to lie, But I mean I understand your situation,
but just you know, you want to live in truth.
Speaker 2 (52:03):
Yeah, I agree. Okay, Well, good luck with everything. Let
us know how it goes. Okay, yeah, I appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (52:09):
Okay, Okay, we'll take a quick break and then we'll
be right back with Nicholas Sparks.
Speaker 2 (52:19):
How do you like our therapy session so far?
Speaker 5 (52:21):
Nicholas, Wow, these are tricky questions.
Speaker 2 (52:23):
Seriously, I don't know.
Speaker 5 (52:25):
That I'd like to do this every like you guys too.
I don't want to give people advice. I've really handled
my life, let alone trying to help other people with
their lives.
Speaker 1 (52:36):
No shit, I mean I wish I gave the advice
I give to other people to myself, because it's much different.
Speaker 2 (52:42):
What do we have to wrap up?
Speaker 4 (52:43):
Well, we do have one last question, so Carrie says,
Dear Chelsea. I've never really referred to myself as an artist,
but I've always needed to outwardly express myself. I love
to sing, dance, draw, and I was a gymnast as
a young girl. I've been through a lot in my
fifty six years. White and Jewish and my father is black.
Growing up in the suburbs of New York in the
(53:04):
seventies and eighties, there were no other families that resembled mine.
I grew thick skin and learned how to thrive in
survival mode. I had subscribed to the belief that we
can all be happy, but we must do the work
on ourselves in order to live a happy life. I
have often thought about writing my story of resilience to
share with others, with the hopes of inspiring people who
have struggled. Two years ago, my husband and I went
(53:24):
to DC for his college reunion with a group of friends.
Speaker 3 (53:27):
We stayed in a big Victorian house and hung out.
Speaker 4 (53:29):
A few of us were in a transition phase and
longing for something, but not sure what it was or
how to achieve it.
Speaker 3 (53:34):
One of our friends suggested we do an exercise.
Speaker 4 (53:37):
We had to describe our dream life five years from now,
as if it had already happened. I told them that
my husband and I have been traveling all over the world.
I blurted out that I had written a New York
Times bestseller and I was currently on my book tour.
I had toyed with the idea of writing a book,
but had never said the words out loud. When we
got home, I committed to writing daily and began with
essays about my childhood, adulthood, trauma, all of it. Kept
(54:00):
at it, and eventually there was a book.
Speaker 3 (54:02):
Here's my issue.
Speaker 4 (54:03):
I haven't read the book since I finished it or
taken the next steps to find an editor. I'm very
proud of myself for this achievement. I know it's a
big deal. I also know that my stories will resonate
with so many as the struggles I've been through are
not uncommon, and my basic message is that we can
get through anything. I realize that it is the fear
of revealing myself and being vulnerable that's holding me back.
Do you have any advice on how to push through
(54:24):
the fear and take the next steps?
Speaker 2 (54:25):
Carrie? Yeah, walk through that door, Carrie, you got it.
Speaker 6 (54:29):
What I mean.
Speaker 1 (54:29):
Fear is there to face the challenge. I look at
fear always as a challenge that I will overcome. If
I'm scared of something, I move towards it even more forcefully.
Unless you want to keep this book to yourself, you're
going to have to take the steps to get it
read by people and to get some feedback and some direction. Nicholas,
what's your advice for a first time author trying to
get their stuff read.
Speaker 5 (54:51):
Self edit, self edit, you know, if you haven't even
read the book, since you have to.
Speaker 2 (54:55):
Go back and read it.
Speaker 5 (54:56):
I cannot tell you, guys, how many times I edit
everything that I write. I edit every fourth sentence, I
go back and edit those four I edit every clump
of two pages. I ed from the beginning, clump of
ten pages. Then I go back and I edit from
the beginning. Once I hit a section, then my agent edits,
then I edit, then I edit some more. I would
(55:19):
say every sentence in every one of my novels, I've
probably examined closely, word by word and within the context
of a page or chapter fifteen times. So and I did.
I did the same prior to trying to even find
an agent or are a publisher for the notebook. If
(55:40):
you're going to try to find an agent who are
very selective because lots of people want to have books published,
or you want to try to get your novel published
by a big publishing house who also have a lot
thousands and thousands and thousands of submissions, you're not doing
yourself any favors by handing it, by not handing them
(56:02):
the very best possible work that you could do.
Speaker 1 (56:07):
Yeah, yeah, you have to reread your book also, like
I mean, yeah, you have to go because you're gonna
I know you think like, oh, you're done. You have
a book that's everything he says is absolutely true. And
also you can give it to a couple of people
get some feedback that'll help you with your editing perhaps,
but you definitely have to get it out there. Like
the fear of showing it to people. You got to
get past that. You have to be open to criticism
(56:30):
and constructive critique, like you just have to be open
to it.
Speaker 2 (56:33):
That's part of the process.
Speaker 1 (56:35):
So good luck to you and hopefully we'll hear about
your book in the future coming out and being published.
Speaker 2 (56:41):
And that's our episode for today.
Speaker 1 (56:43):
You guys, everyone go out and get Remain the novel
by Nicholas Sparks with m. Knight not Chaka Khan Shyamalan,
and it's going to come out as a movie, so
you want to make sure you read the book before
you see the movie. That's the order of business out here.
Thank you, thanks so much, Nicholas, what a pleasure to.
Speaker 2 (57:01):
Speak with you.
Speaker 5 (57:02):
Hey, thank you for having me and you did you
said his name exactly right. I listen. Thank you Samalan ex.
Speaker 2 (57:09):
Say please let him know.
Speaker 1 (57:13):
Please, Okay, take care Nicklas so much.
Speaker 2 (57:17):
Bye bye.
Speaker 1 (57:18):
I just announced all my tour dates. They just went
on sale this week. It's called the High and Mighty Tour.
I will be starting in February of next year, so
I will be touring from February through June. So go
get your tickets now. If you want good seats and
you want to come see me perform, I will be
on the High and Mighty Tour.
Speaker 2 (57:39):
Do you want advice from Chelsea?
Speaker 4 (57:41):
Right into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. Find
full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching
at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered
by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine law And be sure
to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com
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