October 24, 2024 • 53 mins
Zachary Quinto joins Chelsea to talk about why we’re using AI to remove ourselves from our feelings, shared consciousness, and why things come to you in life’s perfect timing. Then: A 40-something wrestles with her self-image. A new romance is on hold over an HIV status. And a fiance struggles to tell his disapproving father he’s getting married.
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Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at DearChelseaPodcast@gmail.com
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Executive Producer Catherine Law
Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea, how are you.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I feeling fresh as a daisy, I mean, and I'm
in a really really positive space.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
I had a positive mood.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
I've been reading like a little chapter from Letting Go
every morning just to make sure I had my head
on straight, along with my meditation and my gratitude.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
And I mean that takes a long time.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Actually, every morning I have to like get ready, like
and it takes like an hour, but it's worth it
because it puts my head on straight. I had a
lot of crazy little things this weekend, and I just
chose not to let any of them deter me and
stay positive and vibrant and high. And I was there
was a man sitting next to me on a plane
and could have gone either way. It really could have
gone south, and I made sure that it did not
(00:42):
good And luckily I had a huge set of headphones
on me.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Excellent, just tune everybody out, and just tune everybody out
and just keep the vibes high.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Oh, and then people were recommending me to read this
other book, Power Versus Force, which is really about physics
and quantum physics and which is really like I've never
read anything like that, and I'm into it because, yeah,
it kind of explains your energy field and why there
is energy coming off of everything, and like its relation
to kinesiology, you know how like if you're around something
(01:12):
that's not good for you, like say artificial sweeteners or something,
and they press your arm down on what, like, your
arm will have less strength than it. And I once
went to this spa in Salzburg, Switzerland, or maybe it
was ober Salzburg, I don't know, I don't know, somewhere
where Hitler came from. And I and they did a
lot of kinesiology testing there. They figure out what you're
(01:34):
allergic to, so they put like dander on your leg
and then then you do a strength test and if
you are strong, you're not allergic to dander, if you're
weak when it's on there, And it's pretty fascinating when
you see that because you like shows your allergies right away.
But all that stuff is like so hard to measure,
so like it's scientific. Yet people are a little bit
resistant to that philosophy because they don't see it as
(01:54):
easily measured. But anyway, I also had a Celsius this morning,
so they are out of my little energy packets from Keani.
They had me made these little natural guarana energy packets
because I don't drink coffee, so I would take those
every morning when i'd wake up, and they discontinued them. No,
so I had a Celsius on my way to Ben
Bruno this morning. No, you're really rocking, So now I'm
(02:16):
fucking out of my tree. Yeah, Indianapolis, Saint Louis, and
Kansas City this weekend. And if you haven't gotten your
tickets yet, I don't even even know what to say
to you.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
All right, should we introduce the guest? Yes, I'm so
excited to talk to him. I haven't seen him in years,
but I've seen him on TV. Now, please welcome Zachary Quinto.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Hi, Kutie, how are you?
Speaker 1 (02:34):
I was so you know what, I was so excited.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
I don't really care when people actually come to my
house or not for podcast purposes, as long as I
don't really have to go far.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
But I was kind of looking.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Forward to giving you a big hug with your masculine
with your big, hot, masculine body.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
I haven't seen you in so long.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
A long time. I was thinking today as well, how
much I was looking forward to connecting with you. It's
nice to see you again.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
You know what I did something so embarrassing, but of
course I know. I can tell you. I was at
this restaurant in Santa Mona and I saw Zachary Levi
and I was talking to him like it was you
until halfway through the real conversation he said, are you
seeing anyone now? And I don't remember what he said,
but he intimated somehow. He was, you know, seeing a
woman and I was like a woman.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
He said, what are you?
Speaker 2 (03:18):
What are you talking about? He said, what are you
talking about? And then I was like, this is not
who I think it is.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
So it's like I have the condition that you have
on your show. Mind yeah, r pro subpagno show. That
sounds like a word I want to add to my
reports one.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
It's a real well, it's a good out in situations
like that. I'm so sorry, exactly like I suffered from
pressy pagnosia. I thought you were someone else. That is
a good a good way to exit the awkward situation
if you have to.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
And what is it called? What is the layman term
for that?
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Face blindness?
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Face blindness which your character on your show brilliant minds,
which is fucking awesome. By the way, I just watched
three episodes. Wow, you had me working out for three
hours this morning.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
Because I was like, he looks so amazing. I'll take
all the.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Credit and that I'll play the next one.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
But that's a great show on Peacock that I didn't
know about and now I know about, and we need
to tell everybody that doesn't know about it how great
it is.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Because first of all, I love a procedural, don't you too.
Absolutely I love.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
And I love the premise, and I love a doctor
for good, taking chances, taking risks for the good of
everybody's because there's obviously a very metaphysical aspect to this pow.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Yeah, well, you know the it's based on a real
life person. I think that's always a good place to
start when we're talking about brilliant minds. It's based on
Oliver Sacks. Actually, this is right at my desk. I
didn't plant that, but he has a book coming out,
edited by Kate Edgar, who heads the Oliver Sacks Foundation.
Oliver Sax was a prolific author as well as a
(04:50):
revolutionary neurologist in the mid twentieth century, and he wrote
dozens and dozens of books case studies about his patients
and the man in Musuki's way, his for a hat,
most notably Awakenings, many many music Ophelia, Anthropologists to Mars,
and tons of books that hero. He also wrote many
essays and gave many lectures and speeches. He was an
(05:12):
incredible man and he was driven by the pursuit of
understanding who his patients were before they were stricken with
whatever neurologic condition, disease, disorder, or injury befell them. And
he was always that was always his north star. The
engine of his purpose was to find their dignity and
(05:32):
their sense of personhood within whatever they were struggling with.
And it set him apart in a lot of ways,
and he really revolutionized the field of medicine and also
the field of literature. Right because medicine has become so diagnostic,
and technology and the advancements of technology for allowed medicine
to become so diagnostic, we lost the humanity of medicine.
(05:54):
And Oliver Sacks was somebody who was pretty singularly interested
in resurrecting the humanity of medicine. And so our show,
while I don't play all Over Sacks. I play a
character who is based on him. In every aspect of
the character that I play is drawn from the actual
life of all Over Sacks, but the character that I
play exists in a modern day's story, in a world
(06:14):
that's taking place right now.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Getting this role must have really added to your own
kind of I want to say spirituality, but perhaps there's
a better word for it, consciousness. Consciousness, Yes, thank you,
there you go. Consciousness has it, Yes.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
One hundred percent. It's really kind of been amazing for
me to zoom out and see how all of my
experiences have brought me to this place. Just the idea of, like,
where are our journeys take us right? And that at
this moment, particular moment that I'm playing this role in
(06:52):
this show and putting this message out into the world,
there are no mistakes, I find, and I do feel
like it is a an evolution of where I've been.
And I think Oliver Sacks and my intersection with him.
I sadly never got to meet him while he was
still alive, but my intersection with him in this creative
way and in this profoundly meaningful way to me is
(07:15):
something very special and so Oliver Sacks was somebody who
was really designed to examine the last frontier of the
human experience, which is the brain, the mind, and consciousness.
And I know, Chelsea, you know we share this quest
in our own journeys in individual ways, like you and
(07:36):
I are both. I think one of the reasons why
I've always been so drawn to you is, you know,
we're very similar age and and we I think you're
just as you're You're curious in a similar way to me.
And what I've watched of you and read of you
and know of you, you know you and I kind
of will never stop digging. And all of our Sacks
(07:56):
was like that, right, So the excavation, the process of
excavation of who we are as human beings is something
that drove him and motivated him. And similarly, I think
it drives me and motivates me and you too. And
so it's no mistake that we're all talking about this
right now, and so in terms of consciousness and where
(08:17):
we are in consciousness right now, I think it is
a pivotal moment in our evolution as a civilization as
a species. And I think all of our Sacks is
as much a part of that conversation as you and
I are right now, it's sitting here in.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
The slash yeah, and including everybody.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Actually it's a world yeah, because I think we were
just talking about that book Letting Go. I don't know
if you've read that. Have you ever read that by
David Hawkins. It's a great book about consciousness.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
But it's just about you know, how leading with love, and.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Like love really is the answer to everything, Like you know,
stop resisting, stop fighting, stop arguing, stop being negative, stop
getting in negative patterns that you can't get out of,
but you can get out of them. It's never too
late to get out of your negativity. And like the
vibes bring the vibes up, you know what I mean.
When you're around somebody and you leave them and you
feel better after having seen them, that's because they have
(09:09):
high vibes and then they are infecting you by osmosis
with their high vibes. And my goal and our goal
is a plant should obviously be like you know, so
much love could heal and hate doesn't bring us anything good.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
It just brings us more acrimony.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
I'm so happy to hear you say this, And just
to piggyback on that. You know, we are living in
this moment right now. It is such an unprecedented time
what we're experiencing right now. The ground is shifting beneath
our feet as we're standing on it. So there's an
urgent need right now. The urgent need of the time
(09:43):
right now is for exactly what you're saying, is for
everybody who has even the faintest inkling of that sensibility
that you just articulated, to do whatever they can do
to tune their listening to that vibration and allow that
vibration to strengthen within them, and then allow that strengthening
(10:04):
the vibration within them to reverberate in other people that
will then continue to amplify that out and out and out.
And what we're witnessing right now, in my estimation, is
that collectively, we have decided to focus on the wrong
things and all of this attention. If you look at
how it's built and built and built, and it's really
building to this election, isn't it right? You look at
(10:25):
how it's built, and I'm not just talking about in
the United States, but just in terms of you know,
the broader spectrum, we have created these paradigms that are
based in the binary one way or the other, right
or wrong, black and white. I'm on this side, you're
on that side. When the reality is that those are
(10:45):
all reactions that are coming from a place of completely
justifiable and understandable fear. Fear. Fear fear has driven us
to this place of binary thinking and clinging to the
constructs that we have all agreed upon for generations are
(11:06):
going to be the foundation of how we relate to
one another, and how we see one another, and how
we sink of one another. But when we really zoom
out and consider what we are up against and what
we are now not about to, but what we are
now entering into moving forward, right, the existential crises that
present themselves to us, namely, and there are many, I
(11:27):
don't need to name them all, but namely climate change
and artificial intelligence. Let's just start there. Climate change, we're
already seeing. It's not something that's going to happen. We
don't have to argue about it. I don't want to
get into the semantics of the black and white of it.
Right North Carolina, Florida, in the last two weeks, we
have seen these unprecedented catastrophic, cataclysmic experiences. They're just the beginning,
(11:52):
but they are happening at an accelerated rate, they're happening
more frequently, and they're happening in more anomalous situations, like
in the mountains of North Carolina, where they shouldn't be happening. Right, So,
if we take this as the harbinger of what's to come,
we recognize that within the next ten to fifteen, certainly
twenty years, the kinds of mass migrations that we're going
(12:14):
to see on the planet. Right, the tens of millions
of people who are going to have to move from
place to place because the place that they're in now
are no longer inhabitable. That's one thing. And then you
just blow in underneath that artificial intelligence and machine learning.
We've already invited that into the conversation. We don't know
what it's capable of, we don't know how fast or
(12:34):
how dramatically it's going to evolve, but we've already brought
it into the conversation. So it's already here. People are
already using chat GPT to write their cover letters, and
you know, so it's already here. We're divesting ourselves of
the experience of being human. We're outsourcing the human experience
to this artificial intelligence, and we have no idea where
that's going to take us. So collectively we are on
(12:57):
the precipice of change. We can't either family because if
you add just those two variables, and there are many others,
but if you add just those two variables to the equation,
then we have no idea what the future looks like.
And so the constructs that we've agreed upon in the
past are rapidly dissolving. And my feeling is that consciousness
(13:21):
and the rapid expansion of consciousness is the only way
that we have any chance of moving forward with success,
to thrive, or to survive. Even so, for me, it
is exactly what you're saying, and I think people all
around the planet right now are feeling it and sensing it,
and even if they don't know what it is, they're
tapping into something bigger than themselves, because it's everywhere you look,
(13:45):
and it is our responsibility to amplify that and bring
people into the light, just like you're saying. So I'm
glad to hear you say it. I know I feel
like I've been talking about seventy some minutes about shutting up.
But I feel so strongly about it right now, and
it feels so urgent that we have to talk about it.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Yeah, I agree with you. I feel the same way.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
I'm mentent on spreading infecting as many people with kindness
as I can.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
Do you meditate, yes, I do? Good.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
What kind of meditation do you do?
Speaker 3 (14:16):
I do veading meditation, which is an offshoot of TM.
So it's the same technique as TM, it's just a
different community and it's a twice daily practice mantra based.
What about you.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
I do a Choprah app mostly I do like a
guided meditation about twenty minutes each morning.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
Right, So Chopra comes from the Vedic world. I mean
Deepak Chopra is that is the same. We are the
same in that practice. And I say to anybody who
has a meditation practice right now and especially for the
next three weeks before the election, meditation, meditation, meditation, it
is it is Defcon five, All hands on deck. If
(14:52):
you have a practice or you know people who have practices,
now is the time to come to your practice and
hold space, because not only do we have to hold
space for our own experiences, we have to be able
to hold space for the experience of the collective, because
this is a collective shift of consciousness that's happening right now.
(15:13):
It's not an individual shift of consciousness. It is happening
on the individual level, on the micro level. But if
you zoom out and look at the macro level, you know,
just think about what we're fighting about right Think about
what we're fighting about. Think about the Middle East. I
care not wading into those waters in terms of the politics,
the history. I have no authority or knowledge to do so. However,
(15:35):
I will say that it is one of the binaries
that is the most kind of volatile binaries on the
planet right now. But if you zoom out, the reality
is that what we're fighting over is land that will
be uninhabitable in the next twenty five years by anybody,
so that the Palestinians and the Jews are going to
have to shoulder to shoulder walk together to find a
(15:55):
place where they all can live and survive. So we
are focusing on the hatred. We're focusing on We no
longer have the luxury to be defined by the constructs
that have defined us for the last hundreds of years,
and generations. You know, we just as a civilization no
longer have the luxury of being defined by whether we're
(16:17):
Jewish or Palestinian, or gay or straight, or CIS or trans,
or black or white. That conversation is over, and how
we recognize the end of that conversation and evolve that
conversation into what the new conversation has to be is
the moment that we're living through right now, and as
terrifying as it is, it is also profoundly full of
(16:39):
beauty and possibility and creativity and joy. And that is
our job to move in that direction and to move
toward that because we're not going to change anybody's minds.
We're not going to change anybody. And the reality is
as well, that you know, the planet can sustain the
(17:00):
current trajectory of population that that that we're you know,
barraging it with. So the reality is that things are
going to shift cataclysmically and they already are. Look at
the wars, look at the natural disasters around the planet.
There's nothing we can do to stop that stuff. But
what we have to do is evolve adapt And you know,
that's what Oliver Sacks believed. That's why there's no mistake
(17:24):
that I happen to be, you know, playing this character
right now at this moment. Think about all the fucking dark, twisted,
fucked up characters I've played, so you know, and my
own journey from the dark into the light, and now
I get to play a role and tell stories and
put them into the world from a place of evolution
(17:44):
and adaptation and on my own personal journey, that's been true,
and I think creatively that's been true, and hopefully collectively
that will be true as well as we continue to
move forward.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
This is like a sermon. Oh my god, I loved
it today, but I know, I mean, look at you.
I mean, I really couldn't have said it better myself.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
I'm glad to hear it. I'm sorry I went on
a rant, but I've just been thinking about it so much.
And also, there's no mistake that I'm doing fucking press
for the Igains. Swear right. It's you. I shouldn't be
in there, but you know that I'm doing press that
I have, that I have an opportunity to connect with
like minded people in this way. And I just knew
(18:25):
coming into this that you're probably on the same wavelength
because That's why I've always been drawn to you, even
before I met you or knew you, and I just
saw you as someone who is asking the questions, pushing
the boundaries, you know, not letting yourself off the look,
digging deeper. And that's what we need. We need to
reach out to one another and then bring the people
(18:45):
who are kind of aware of that sensibility, even if
they haven't completely accessed it themselves along for the journey.
That is a hat.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Because the true definition or the true meaning of consciousness
isn't just being conscious about what's happening in your life.
It's about having a collected consciousness with the entire world.
So every single person matters in the same way.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
There aren't people who matter more or less at all.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
And that's where yeah, and so there it does feel
like a tipping a point, especially if the election goes
the way that I want it to. I feel like
that we all want it to that are sitting here today,
I feel like, you know, then we really do have
an opportunity to change the world, because you know, climate
change is at the foot, it's out the door, it's happening.
And what we need in response to that is not
(19:36):
more fighting. We need all hands on deck and love
to receive these people who are not no longer going
to have a safe place to live, to actually be
able to help and aid and send aid. You know,
there are so many things that we're going to have
to deal with. Can you imagine having additional wars and
then climate change?
Speaker 1 (19:52):
And you know it's like, let's stop with the wars and.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Start with the love and water wars and that you know,
the wars the climate change is going to ignite. Right.
So the other thing that I think is important to
kind of bring into this conversation a little bit about
about evolution is that one essential element of evolution is destruction.
That's just a simple fact of nature. Creation, maintenance, destruction,
(20:17):
These three operating forces are always at play in nature.
And if we consider that as human beings, we are
individual expressions of nature. If we're if we're operating from
this place which is scientifically proven, that we are all
expressions of extensions of one unified field of consciousness. Right.
This is quantum physics. This is you know, what is
(20:39):
far beyond my level of intellectual capacity to understand, let
alone explain, But you know, quantum physics proves the idea
that all matter comes from one source, which is on
MENSS and then becomes MENSS. Then we all do come
from the same place, right, We are all connected in
ways that we don't even come hand or understand. And
(21:01):
yet we have lived in a world that for millennia
has really existed on this idea of individual identity, right,
personal egoic identity. And now we are confronted with profound
transformations that no longer allow us to hide behind those constructs. Right,
(21:21):
those constructs are dissolving, and now we have to accept
the fact that destruction in many forms is a part
of progress. And so the election, for example, I think
represents two very different paths. Are we going to move
forward with an administration who has some awareness of and
some understanding of the contexts as it is in a
(21:45):
larger sense, or are we going to move forward with
an administration who is completely limited in their ability to
see what's actually happening and focused on holding on to
the past, retire turning to something that never will be Well.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
On that note, we're going to take a break and
we're going to be right back with Zachary Levi. Okay,
So for Zachary Quinto, for this portion of the show,
we take callers, and I know that you're excited to
give advice to some people. You're good at it and
it's real people, so it's exciting. I find it very
(22:24):
very what's the word. No, it's more than satisfying and
me feels meaningful.
Speaker 5 (22:30):
There's connection there, which is just what we've been talking about.
Oh great, you know this shared consciousness, and now we'll
share some.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Conscience, share our consciousness, but we're going to infect some
more people.
Speaker 5 (22:39):
Yeah. Well, our first question is just an email. This
comes from Amanda TLDR.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
I don't what does that mean?
Speaker 3 (22:47):
What?
Speaker 5 (22:47):
Oh it means too long? Didn't read, so it's like
a summary TLDR. I want to not give a shit
what other people in my workout bubble look like, so
I can stop comparing myself to them. As an athletic, healthy,
forty four year old woman who loves to stay active,
I've always tried to embrace a positive relationship with my body.
I'm not trying to look like a twenty something anymore.
(23:08):
I've always loved the gym, and during COVID I discovered
the Tracy Anderson method. I've completely fallen for it. I
practice five to six times a week and truly enjoy
the process, but constantly being bombarded by this and other
fitness marketing online can sometimes have a negative impact on
my self esteem. I often find myself feeling self deprecating
and critical of my body, especially when I compare myself
(23:30):
to the trainers and many women who post their workouts
with their perfect size two bodies and somehow have their
makeup and hair looking perfect to boot. I often will
record myself training, but then I see myself and I'm
mortified and won't post it. It's like a downward spiral.
I know I shouldn't let these comparisons affect me, especially
at my age, but I find it challenging to appreciate
my body and health when I'm bombarded with unrealistic standards.
(23:54):
It's gotten so much worse in my forties. I'm a
grown ass, smart, educated woman. Why do I let this
bother me? And how can I stop comparing myself to
picture perfect bodies? I just want to feel happier about
my own body. Warmly, Amanda, I don't know what do
you think.
Speaker 3 (24:09):
You're very You're very active. I've seen you many a
mountain side.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Yes, I would say on the subject of letting go.
Let it go.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
If looking at other videos and fitness videos or people
in your class posting or looking at them while you're
working out, if those things bother you.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
Focus on yourself. Just focus on yourself.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Everybody has these feelings that you're talking about, but it's
up to you to like cut the cord of comparison.
Like that's why I don't spend five hours a day
online looking at people's Instagram.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
That's because it's bad for you. It's bad to compare.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
What is it.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Comparison is the beef of joy. Comparison is the thief
of joy. That's the latest quote that's been going around
that I heard, and it is so true. It is
that is not your body. That is not your problem.
You're here problem and you can either make yourself victorious
or you could make yourself a problem.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
So the fact I would say that you're working out five.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
To six times a day doing I've done that workout before,
that's not easy. You should be celebratory of the fact
that you are doing the best that you can do
and stop comparing yourself to other people.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
That is a losing scenario.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
So write something down on your fridge or your mirror
or wherever you look at the most and say, comparison
is the thief of joy.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Write that down. That's all you need to know, and
imprint it on your mind.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
And you know, once you read something enough times, you
don't need to see it every single day. You remember
when you wake up, you know, and then it becomes
part of who you are, because yeah, I just don't
think there's any You don't get any benefit from depleting
yourself of the pride that you have earned from going
(25:52):
and working out to make yourself feel better every single day?
Speaker 1 (25:55):
Why are you letting anyone take that away from you?
Speaker 3 (25:57):
And I would also only just say that you know
this difference between where are you looking for your sense
of self? Where are you looking for your sense of
validation and purpose and meaning in the world? Are you
looking outside of yourself for that? So you're looking to
import that feeling from people's reactions to you, like oh
my god, you look so good, or you know you
(26:19):
lost so much weight, or you look so skinny, so
then you feel better about yourself. Well, that's importing that
feeling from somewhere else, as opposed to allowing the discipline,
the commitment, the endorphins, the progress that you're making in
your own life to be the source of your fulfillment,
which you can then radiate and export out to the world.
(26:39):
So this difference between importing a sense of validation and
exporting a sense of validation. When you're importing a sense
of validation, you need to keep looking for it. You
need to keep looking for it from other people. You
need to keep looking for it from you know, is
it comparison, is it I'm successful, i am in love,
I'm whatever. So you're looking for it somewhere else, and
(27:00):
then it's unsustainable. But if you're able to gift that
focus and recognize that what you're doing by committing to
your own well being, committing as a forty four year
old woman, I think she said to, you know, embracing
life and staying active and keeping your body engaged, that's
more than ninety five percent of the people on the
planet are doing. So shift your focus to recognize how
(27:24):
wonderful that is, what a generous thing you're doing for
yourself right, and then you can, hopefully, you know, focus
that energy on yourself and then cultivate a place from
which that gratitude and that pride, that well deserved self
directed pride can then be something that other people see
in you and recognize as something that inspires them. Then
(27:46):
you're magnetizing people into your experience who are drawn to
you because you have generated this light that brings them in,
not because you're looking for other people to shine their
lead on you to make you feel better.
Speaker 5 (27:58):
Right, it doesn't matter how bang your body is, if
your vibration is low.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
Yeah, Or it doesn't matter how better of your body is,
if all you care about is that other people see
that or feel that way.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
See, yeah, exactly exactly. But I love what you just
said because it's you know you can. You can attract
people on so many different levels and in so many
different ways. You're focusing on the wrong thing. Like infuse
yourself with the positivity that you derive from working out
and just let that be and I promise you you're
going to have a different outlook.
Speaker 5 (28:28):
Yeah, this might be a great place to to incorporate.
Chelsea recommends a lot of gratitude journal and do that
for thirty days, like just focusing on like here's what
my body can do, Here's what I was able to
do yesterday, Here's how strong I feel today and really
focusing on that for thirty days.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
And you know what, also, I just talked to someone
about this and it was somebody who was very unexpectedly
wrote a gratitude journal that I was like, really, he
must have been a straight man. But anyway, he was
saying to me that he did do it, not at
my behest, but that someone else is a mind. And
he said, I mean it's vibrationally, like how you can
(29:03):
change your attitude, how you can change your outlook, like
it's a matter of days if you just put that
down to practice, like all these little things you can
do to keep the vibes high.
Speaker 5 (29:13):
Zachary Levi wasn't.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
I mean, most things are Zachary Levi with me.
Speaker 5 (29:18):
So thanks, Amanda, and let us know if that changes
things for you. Our next question comes from Brian and
he's going to be calling in is it Zachary Levi?
Speaker 3 (29:28):
And he identified he does.
Speaker 5 (29:30):
So Brian says, Dear Chelsea, I've recently started dating a
new guy and he's absolutely wonderful. He's got a great job,
he's super sweet and has a good support system around
him and texts in full complete sentences. I know, Chelsea
will appreciate that one.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
I do appreciate that.
Speaker 5 (29:46):
There's just one caveat. He's undetectable untransmittable HIV positive, meaning
his viral load is so low that he's not able
to pass it along, or so the science says. I have, however,
heard of cases where this has still occurred. I'm also
on PREP, so that's another layer of protection. And obviously
condoms can be used as well, although I'm allergic to
late text and haven't used condoms in yours. I really
(30:08):
like this guy, and we're at the point of exploring
things physically. I just have some worries with this, as
it's a huge potential risk. I feel it's a risk
I'm willing to take in the right situation for sure.
I just don't know when that time is. Sincerely, Brian, Hi, Brian, Brian, Hi.
Speaker 4 (30:23):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
This is our special guest, Zachary Quinto today.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
Hi, nice to meet you. Say Kinto or Quinto, You're right,
You're right? Shows this Quinto Pinto?
Speaker 2 (30:33):
Okay, Sorry, sorry he's telling you he's a fan. I'm like,
is it Quinto?
Speaker 4 (30:36):
Please?
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Quick here like an asshole? Sorry, anyway, welcome to our show.
I'm glad you're both here. That's a great question. Have
you spoken to your doctor about this?
Speaker 6 (30:44):
That was my first question too, not specifically about this situation,
about you know, protection and to begin with, I think
that's why I started PREP about a year and a
half ago, so I've had kind of the general over
overlying conversation, but not specifically about this situation yet.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
I mean, I would I agree with Chelsea. I think
that is certainly the place to start. To sit down
with your doctor and explain the situation and come up
with a plan that your doctor feels is reliable, you know,
medically sound and reliable. But I mean, the evolution of
medical technology is so incredible and you know, our generation
(31:22):
is benefited from that SOT greatly. So you know, between PREP,
which you're on, and his treatment which keeps him undetectable,
I mean, the percentage chance of transmission is like point something, right,
like point zero something. I think it's really really low.
And so how long have you been together?
Speaker 4 (31:42):
Not long, I'd say about a month.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
Uh oh okay, but it's a little.
Speaker 7 (31:47):
Bit long distance. So we've been on probably like six
or seven days. I'm supposed to see him tonight actually, so.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
Oh wow, exciting and how openly are you able to
talk about it with him?
Speaker 4 (31:57):
Communication has been really great.
Speaker 7 (31:59):
He was very you know, forth coming from the beginning
and you know, give a lot of information on answered
any and all questions.
Speaker 4 (32:04):
So that was good. I think it's just for me.
Speaker 7 (32:08):
The big question is do I want to and even
though the risk is super super low, do you want
to take that risk if it's not something that's going
to work out. Yeah, And so that's the question that
I think I have for him. But I just I
don't know exactly how to phrase that and come across
obviously endearing with compassion.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
Yeah, I mean, I would just say you're from my
experience communication, communication, communication, you know, share your feelings, because
if if your relationship is meant to evolve into something
substantive and meaningful and sustainable, then communication is the only
foundation on which you can build a relationship for which
that will be true. So you have to be able
(32:48):
to bring all the parts of yourself, the scared parts,
the vulnerable parts, the parts that you feel like might
get rejected to the conversation from the beginning, because if
what you're navigating is, hey, is there youeeling this way
that I'm feeling like this could be something significant and
he is feeling that way, then the conversation will lead
you to the next phase or the next chapter. Right,
(33:10):
But I don't think you can make it all about
this one issue. I think what you need to do
is figure out a way to maybe separate out that
concern with the bigger question, which is like, hey, are
we doing this thing? Because if you're doing this thing
and you're together, then as long as you have a
foundation who open this honesty and communication, there's nothing else
(33:33):
you can't figure out.
Speaker 4 (33:34):
Oh, absolutely, And I really appreciate that.
Speaker 7 (33:36):
I speaking of making it about the whole conversation, there's
been an update since I wrote in and since I
talked to Catherine last week.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
Oh, yes, you're pregnant.
Speaker 7 (33:46):
But again, it's been moving forward, and so it's been
moving in the right direction of all that. However, on Thursday,
I was with him and he told me that he's
kind of unhappy at his place of work right now,
but there's one boss that's kind of kept in there
that he's very very close with, and he got worried
that that boss is potentially leaving for a job out
of state, and they've asked him to go if it
(34:09):
all works out, so he has some big decisions to
make with that. It wouldn't happen for like four to
six months even if it did happen. So that's kind
of a new wrinkle that's been thrown in.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
Well, where would he go because it's already long distance,
so where would he move?
Speaker 7 (34:24):
Well, long distance Now, it's only about forty five minutes
to an hour, so it's not bad. It's definitely cable
to see each other a couple times a week at least,
but this would be five hours away.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
Uh huh okay, Well that's so manageable. I mean, listen,
that's a gift sometimes to distance.
Speaker 4 (34:38):
It is.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
I mean, every relationship that I know that's successful is
because the two people are traveling extensively. So please don't
use that as like our reason to not be with someone.
It's very good to have space and to have someone
five hours away.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
It is no big deal. That's an hour flight, or
do you mean a five hour flight?
Speaker 7 (34:59):
It's a five hours but it's in the middle of nowhere,
so there is no direct.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Flight or well you could parachute in.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
Don't worry about that, right, Yeah, I wouldn't worry about
those problems until they arise and they're actually concrete, and
I wouldn't consider it a problem, you know what I mean,
Just kind of like reframe everything you're talking about. The
fact that you guys had this conversation a month in
means that this guy is responsible, is respectful, and actually
cares about you, right, I mean, he told you everything
(35:26):
he needed to tell you before anything happened.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
The risk sounds very low.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
Obviously, I'm not going to give you any medical advice
because I'm not a doctor, even though I want to be,
and I love medications and pills and I love giving advice.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
But I don't want to be responsible for that.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
But I just as a gut I think, I think
you're going to be fine, and I understand all of
the concerns you have. But we are living at a
time that is much different than when AIDS came on
the scene, you know what I mean. This is a
much different world. People live with it healthfully for decades,
you know, look at Magic Johnson.
Speaker 4 (35:58):
Look.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
And it's not just wealthy people. I have friends who
have AIDS or HIV. Well. So yeah, not that you're
trying to get it, but I'm just saying it's just
not what it was. So I want you to think
about it in that in that frame too, because it's
really important to find somebody that you can trust, that
you can love, that respects you and the feeling is mutual.
So I would focus on those issues first and anything
(36:19):
else you can navigate.
Speaker 4 (36:22):
I appreciate that.
Speaker 7 (36:22):
Yeah, And he says so sweet, and it's been such
a breath or fresh air, and it's definitely something that
I want to explore.
Speaker 4 (36:27):
So I really really appreciate all.
Speaker 3 (36:29):
The Yeah, you should explore it, see where it takes you.
It sounds like a nice beginning to something that even
though there's a lot of unknowns, you can't miss what's
meant for you. So if this is something that is
supposed to be in your life, then everything will unfold
so that that is possible.
Speaker 4 (36:47):
Right now. That's that's really really great advice. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
Okay, Well, thank you, Brian.
Speaker 4 (36:53):
You in a month, I'll be at one of your
shows in Texas.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Oh go Texas. You're in Texas, well, try to get
out of there as quickly as are you there?
Speaker 1 (37:02):
All right, thank y'all, all right, thanks for calling in.
Speaker 5 (37:05):
All right, Our next caller is Chris. He says, Dear Chelsea,
I recently got engaged to my partner after eighteen years.
Marriage was never a must, and it just felt like
the right time for us. But our relationship is not
what my email is about. So when we got engaged,
I called to tell my mom the news and got
a less than excited response. To be honest, it was
(37:27):
exactly the response I expected, so it wasn't a disappointment. However,
before she even said her lackluster congratulations, the first thing
she said was, we won't tell your father. This is
where I need advice. I've never been particularly close to
my dad, and when I came out, it made a
not great relationship pretty bad for a few years. I
didn't come around for a while. While things have improved,
(37:49):
my being gay and in a relationship is just never
discussed or talked about. My dad is ninety five years old,
I'm forty, and my mom says he won't be able
to handle the news of my engagement, almost implying it
would kill him.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Literally. I don't feel.
Speaker 5 (38:02):
Right not telling my dad, and I don't need his
approval and I'm not looking for him to all of
a sudden embrace my relationship. But I'm also not going
to hide my future marriage. How do I handle this?
Speaker 3 (38:11):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Hi, how are you nice to meet you? This is Agricanco,
our special guest today.
Speaker 3 (38:16):
How are you nice to meet you? How are you good?
Speaker 8 (38:18):
Good?
Speaker 1 (38:19):
Here comes Doug. This is my big black magic Doug.
Here you goes? Okay.
Speaker 4 (38:24):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
So congratulations, by the way.
Speaker 3 (38:27):
So your engagement, that's exciting.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
That's exciting with your partner eighteen years Okay.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
Fantastic, it was time cool geez. Eighteen years and you're forty.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
Ye, so you're twenty two years twenty two years old
and you're still together college.
Speaker 8 (38:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:48):
Is he the same age as you are?
Speaker 8 (38:49):
Oh he's a bit older. He's in his sixties.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
Oh interesting. Okay. So does your mother know him already?
Speaker 3 (38:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 8 (38:57):
My mom does.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
Yeah, Okay.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
Is she venting you from telling your father or suggesting
that you not tell your father because of who it is,
or because of just the fact that you're gay.
Speaker 8 (39:07):
Just the fact that I'm gay? I mean, he knows.
Speaker 9 (39:09):
He's never met my partner, Jeff for a while once.
He when I first came out. You know, I sort
of stayed away from the family for several years. Slowly
I sort of got back in with the family and
you know, went back to doing some family events. Jeff
has never met my dad. It's just never not something
(39:31):
that's talked about. It's just I'm around just to help
keep the peace. Almost sometimes it seems.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
I'm sorry that that's been your experience. That's pretty disappointing.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
Yeah, I'm sorry too. That is difficult and challenging and
I'm sure probably a heavy thing to carry in the
face of such a celebratory moment. So I'm sorry that
you're at that crossroads.
Speaker 5 (39:53):
And Chris, I wanted to just drop in here as well.
Something that came up when we were chatting in our
pre interview, was that, really you said that your dad
has sort of softened. He's been saying I love you more, hugging.
Can you tell us a little bit about that.
Speaker 9 (40:06):
Yeah, he's ninety five, so he's getting up there in age,
so you know, part of it's just like as he
just set in his ways, you know, but just over
the years, you know, whenever I see him and whenever
you know, me and my siblings when we leave for
whatever gathering we're at, you know, he's definitely more affectionate. Recently,
you know, he's saying, I love you, giving a kiss.
Speaker 3 (40:26):
You know it interestingly to me, it's an interesting I
guess most things tie back to consciousness. But but you know,
you have to give him grace, you know. And I
guess my advice to you, or my sort of reflection
back at you, is, if you've observed a softening him,
you know, and you've observed this kind of desire to
(40:47):
connect more, I think you have to recognize what you're
up against, right, And for somebody who's ninety five years old,
that's that's not getting up there, that's that's got He's
already got there, you know what I mean. That's that's
really really no matter how you cut it, he's coming
to the end of this part of his experience. And
so you know, if you feel like sharing this news
(41:09):
with him is going to cause him any kind of
pain or exacerbate his suffering or complicate the end of
his life, then, as his son, even though you clearly
had a complicated relationship with him, I'm sure that's not
your motivation here. You don't want to make his life
any harder. So maybe there's a way to just find
(41:30):
an intimate moment with him and just say something to
the effect of, Dad, you know, I know that we've
never really seen eye to eye on certain aspects of
who I am. And I understand that you know that
that doesn't mean you love me any less, but it
just means that you weren't able to process the reality
of who I am in the same way. But I
(41:52):
just want you to know that I am really, really happy.
You know, like, if there's a way for you to
communicate to him that this moment in your life where
you're telling him without telling him, if your mom is
concerned that you telling him that you're getting married to
your longtime partner who's never met because he couldn't hold
space for you to have that experience, is going to
(42:13):
make his suffering worse, then is there an opportunity for
you to just tell him what you need him to know,
which is that he raised a son who is capable
of love and who is capable of navigating all of
the challenges and all the obstacles that your father, in
his limited consciousness, forced upon you, not intentionally and not
(42:37):
because he wanted to, but because he didn't know any better.
And now that he's coming to the end of his
journey with compassion and forgiveness. I think there's a way
for you to let him know that you don't resent
him for that, and that he can move on from
this experience, from his human experience, and know that you
are happy and safe. And any father wants to know
(42:59):
that their child.
Speaker 8 (43:01):
Yeah, and I believe he does.
Speaker 2 (43:03):
So that's very beautiful. That is very beautiful, and exactly
I completely agree. I think there is a way to
say that. And you know, and I think you're probably
going to hear what you want to hear when his
time is up. And if you have the luxury of
spending you know, a last few days with him, even
if it's the last few hours with him, hopefully he
(43:23):
you know, you'll have that opportunity. And I guarantee you, well,
I don't guarantee you, but I would strongly suspect that
during that time you're going to have an opportunity to
share this with him. There is really no rush, right Like,
it's not an emergency. You don't have to tell him,
right and you know in those moments or when you
if there is a moment that happens before that, great,
(43:45):
but if you know, if it's not until then, then
that's it. A good opportunity too, and when you're saying goodbye,
to let him know how happy you are and how
happy you are to live a fully realized, actualized existence
where you're not hiding, you know, and you're being who
you are.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
And there's not a person who doesn't want that for
their child.
Speaker 5 (44:03):
Right, And that you've found a partner who loves you
and treats you well, and that you've made a life
together and.
Speaker 3 (44:08):
You've been together for eighteen years. So this isn't a lark,
I know.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
I just I'm just so curious how you get how
you get engaged after eighteen years, Like what happens?
Speaker 9 (44:19):
I just you know, I've been thinking about the last
year or two.
Speaker 8 (44:23):
Just you know, I just felt it was time we
took it.
Speaker 3 (44:28):
We're in Pittsburgh, Oh you are, that's where from?
Speaker 4 (44:31):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (44:31):
Yeah, I know a lazy well I know my fair
share about you know, stubborn, Dunian, older Pittsburgh. So I
know what you're up against there, and like I get it.
You know, that's a tough metocrack. So so just like
I just think compassion and forgiveness can be your guide
and that you know you'll find a place with him
of mutuality and love, because that's that's that's what's there,
(44:55):
you know, eventually.
Speaker 8 (44:57):
Definitely, Yeah, Yeah, I think it'll I'm hoping it would
go better than what my mind is thinking it will go.
Speaker 3 (45:04):
So yeah, and I do agree with Chelsea there is
no rush.
Speaker 2 (45:07):
Yeah, I just know that you're gonna You're gonna have
the conversation with him at the appropriate time and surrender it.
Just be like, Okay, I've decided what I'm going to
do here, Now let me let it go, and then
when the opportunity arises, take that opportunity.
Speaker 4 (45:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 9 (45:21):
I think the more I think about it, it's more
for me than it really is for him.
Speaker 8 (45:27):
I think too. No, I mean, he knows, but he
doesn't know the extent of it.
Speaker 3 (45:31):
Maybe it's hard in families when you have open secrets,
you know, it's a difficult thing to navigate because it's
such a oh, it's such an unfortunate byproduct of trauma, right,
like open secrets, Like that's the worst.
Speaker 4 (45:43):
Right.
Speaker 3 (45:43):
So he knows, but he doesn't know, or he knows
but he won't acknowledge it or something. So yeah, And
I also recognize as a gay man myself, I also
recognize your position, which is like, I shouldn't have to hide,
I shouldn't have to sublimate my love to please this person.
But there is that you know, he did the best
he could and it wasn't good enough, and I'm sorry
(46:06):
that it wasn't good enough for you. You you deserve better.
But it sounds like you've found better. It sounds like
you've created better for yourself. You've evolved beyond the limitations
of what he provided for you or your you know,
your family of origin provided for you, and so now
you have the opportunity to, from that place of expansion,
(46:27):
embrace his limited point of view and let him know
that it doesn't diminish your appreciation for him. Your love
for him and the person that you are today is
informed at least partially and certainly significantly by him, and
so there is gratitude there. And how can you focus
(46:48):
on that now that he's in the very you know,
the last chapter of his experience.
Speaker 9 (46:52):
No, I agree, I agree, So I would definitely be
having this conversation and for the best.
Speaker 2 (46:58):
And also framing everything in the right pace way, like
you know, what you said is important. This is more
for me than for him, So take that back and
think about that, because if it is more for you,
then hold on to it for a little bit.
Speaker 1 (47:09):
Okay, and thanks for calling it. Yeah, thanks, great to
meet you.
Speaker 3 (47:12):
I have a good one.
Speaker 1 (47:13):
Thanks Chris, Bye bye. Okay, do we have to take
a break and come back to wrap it up?
Speaker 2 (47:18):
Okay, We're going to take a break and come back,
and we're back with Zachary Quintop.
Speaker 1 (47:26):
Zachary, I have a question about your show.
Speaker 2 (47:28):
So your character is gay in the show, and Oliver
Sacks was he?
Speaker 1 (47:32):
He wasn't gay?
Speaker 3 (47:32):
Was he? Yeah? He was?
Speaker 1 (47:34):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (47:34):
He was? Oh?
Speaker 2 (47:35):
Oh, okay, So then I guess I don't know if it
was also So that was a request that you made.
Speaker 3 (47:40):
No, No, Oliver Sacks was a gay man who was
celibate for thirty five years of his life, and that
was a real roadblock for me in terms of understanding
the character. I couldn't fathom when I first was presented
with that fact how someone could make a choice like that,
or why someone make a choice like that. And then
the more I did it, the more I realized that
(48:02):
he recognized that if he came out in his day
and age, and you know, he lived and worked in
the middle of the twentieth century, mostly the seventies, eighties
and nine dais and he died in twenty fifteen at
the age of eighty three. So, you know, had he
come out, he would have been defined by that aspect
of who he was, right, he would have been diminished
in his capacity to make the contributions to the field
(48:25):
of neurology that he was singularly designed to make. And
so he chose to separate himself, to divorce himself from
that part of who he was, and to compartmentalize and
split off from that part of his identity in order
to be able to serve his patients and make the
incredible and indelible mark on a medicine that he was
(48:46):
able to make. Thankfully, late in his life he came
to terms with his sexuality and he came out, and
he was in a relationship for the last decade or
so of his life with a very loving partner, and
he found his way to that. But you know, so
my character on the show is gay. It's the first
openly gay lead of a primetime network medical drama, A
(49:07):
big deal in that way. But it's a big deal
because it's not a big deal, right, It's a big deal,
because we live in a world, and I live in
a world as an openly gay actor where that aspect
of my personality, of my identity is only one of
many aspects of the identity that I moved through the
world with, and I benefited from the sacrifices of people
(49:30):
like Oliver Sacks who didn't have that same opportunity. So
there is some really wonderful through line in that narrative
right between the life that Oliver Sacks lived, the life
that the character I play, Oliver Wolf lives, and the
life that I live, you know, as an actor and
as a person in this modern day. So I feel
(49:51):
grateful for that.
Speaker 1 (49:52):
Was there ever a time in your career that you
weren't out?
Speaker 3 (49:55):
Yeah, I mean I didn't come out until twenty eleven.
I started working. I mean, Heroes was the show that
really changed my life my career. People started to know
me in two thousand and six. So it was the
end of two thousand and six that I became a
known quantity, right like that, I ever had to deal
(50:16):
with the idea of what being famous was. And then
it was five years later that I came around public.
So there was a five year period of time where
I was out in my life and people who knew
me knew I was gay, but I never spoke of
it publicly until twenty eleven.
Speaker 1 (50:30):
And how did that feel?
Speaker 3 (50:31):
Well, that was one of the most liberating experiences that
I've ever had. I made the decision to come out
on my own. I didn't tell anybody. I didn't tell
my publicists. I didn't tell my agents or my manager,
anybody that I worked with. I didn't tell anybody in
my life, my boyfriend at the time, my family. I
just gave an interview and I referred to myself as
a gay man twice within the interview, so that I
put you a fine point on it in case they
(50:52):
missed it the first time. And that to me was
I did it in my own time, on my own terms.
I didn't seek advice or councilor you know. It wasn't
a decision by committee. It was a decision that I
made myself, and so I was able to hold that
decision for whatever it ended up, you know, whatever the
reaction to it was, it was my decision, you know,
(51:15):
And so that felt really liberating.
Speaker 1 (51:17):
Yeah, I love that. I love that. Well, thank you
for being with us today.
Speaker 2 (51:21):
You guys, everybody, you can watch this wonderful human being
on his show on Peacock on the Peacock Network. I
think they want you to call it the Peacock.
Speaker 3 (51:29):
I don't. It's on NBC on Monday nights at ten
pm for people who watch TV in real time, and
then it streams on Peacock on the Peacock the next.
Speaker 1 (51:37):
Day, probably way off.
Speaker 3 (51:39):
I think it might just be I'm.
Speaker 2 (51:44):
Getting confused with all the different platforms and their names.
Speaker 3 (51:48):
Is It's very good. It will be something different tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (51:52):
And I hope I get to see you in person
sometime soon, Zachary.
Speaker 3 (51:55):
I was just about to say that very thing. It
is always good to connect with you. You know, I really
admire you, respect you and appreciate you and like you,
and I hope we can have a meal and you know,
like see each other outside of this context at some point.
I'm in New York. I'm doing a play here this
fall from the end of November until February. If you're
in New York, please come to see my play called
(52:15):
Culton Love at the Helen Hayes Theater on Broadway. And
if you come, let me know and we can go
it after.
Speaker 1 (52:21):
Okay, I'm going to write that down right now. Cult
of Love.
Speaker 3 (52:24):
Yeah, come see it. It's really I'm really excited.
Speaker 1 (52:26):
I would love to be good. Okay, Okay, it was
such a pleasure to see.
Speaker 3 (52:29):
So good to see you both. Have a good day YouTube.
Speaker 1 (52:31):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (52:33):
You well. Thanks.
Speaker 2 (52:35):
Okay, So upcoming shows that I have you guys, I'm
coming to Texas. I'm coming to Saint Louis and Kansas City,
and then I will be in Las Vegas performing at
the Chelsea Theater inside the Cosmopolitan Hotel.
Speaker 1 (52:46):
I'm coming to.
Speaker 2 (52:47):
Brooklyn, New York at the King's Theater on November eighth,
and I have tickets on sale throughout the end of
the year in December, So if you're in a city
like Philadelphia or Bethlehem or San Diego or New Orleans
or Omaha, check Chelseahandler dot com for tickets.
Speaker 1 (53:06):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (53:07):
If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email
at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be
sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited
and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and
be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot
com
Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea, how are you.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I feeling fresh as a daisy, I mean, and I'm
in a really really positive space.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
I had a positive mood.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
I've been reading like a little chapter from Letting Go
every morning just to make sure I had my head
on straight, along with my meditation and my gratitude.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
And I mean that takes a long time.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Actually, every morning I have to like get ready, like
and it takes like an hour, but it's worth it
because it puts my head on straight. I had a
lot of crazy little things this weekend, and I just
chose not to let any of them deter me and
stay positive and vibrant and high. And I was there
was a man sitting next to me on a plane
and could have gone either way. It really could have
gone south, and I made sure that it did not
(00:42):
good And luckily I had a huge set of headphones
on me.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Excellent, just tune everybody out, and just tune everybody out
and just keep the vibes high.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Oh, and then people were recommending me to read this
other book, Power Versus Force, which is really about physics
and quantum physics and which is really like I've never
read anything like that, and I'm into it because, yeah,
it kind of explains your energy field and why there
is energy coming off of everything, and like its relation
to kinesiology, you know how like if you're around something
(01:12):
that's not good for you, like say artificial sweeteners or something,
and they press your arm down on what, like, your
arm will have less strength than it. And I once
went to this spa in Salzburg, Switzerland, or maybe it
was ober Salzburg, I don't know, I don't know, somewhere
where Hitler came from. And I and they did a
lot of kinesiology testing there. They figure out what you're
(01:34):
allergic to, so they put like dander on your leg
and then then you do a strength test and if
you are strong, you're not allergic to dander, if you're
weak when it's on there, And it's pretty fascinating when
you see that because you like shows your allergies right away.
But all that stuff is like so hard to measure,
so like it's scientific. Yet people are a little bit
resistant to that philosophy because they don't see it as
(01:54):
easily measured. But anyway, I also had a Celsius this morning,
so they are out of my little energy packets from Keani.
They had me made these little natural guarana energy packets
because I don't drink coffee, so I would take those
every morning when i'd wake up, and they discontinued them. No,
so I had a Celsius on my way to Ben
Bruno this morning. No, you're really rocking, So now I'm
(02:16):
fucking out of my tree. Yeah, Indianapolis, Saint Louis, and
Kansas City this weekend. And if you haven't gotten your
tickets yet, I don't even even know what to say
to you.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
All right, should we introduce the guest? Yes, I'm so
excited to talk to him. I haven't seen him in years,
but I've seen him on TV. Now, please welcome Zachary Quinto.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Hi, Kutie, how are you?
Speaker 1 (02:34):
I was so you know what, I was so excited.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
I don't really care when people actually come to my
house or not for podcast purposes, as long as I
don't really have to go far.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
But I was kind of looking.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Forward to giving you a big hug with your masculine
with your big, hot, masculine body.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
I haven't seen you in so long.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
A long time. I was thinking today as well, how
much I was looking forward to connecting with you. It's
nice to see you again.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
You know what I did something so embarrassing, but of
course I know. I can tell you. I was at
this restaurant in Santa Mona and I saw Zachary Levi
and I was talking to him like it was you
until halfway through the real conversation he said, are you
seeing anyone now? And I don't remember what he said,
but he intimated somehow. He was, you know, seeing a
woman and I was like a woman.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
He said, what are you?
Speaker 2 (03:18):
What are you talking about? He said, what are you
talking about? And then I was like, this is not
who I think it is.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
So it's like I have the condition that you have
on your show. Mind yeah, r pro subpagno show. That
sounds like a word I want to add to my
reports one.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
It's a real well, it's a good out in situations
like that. I'm so sorry, exactly like I suffered from
pressy pagnosia. I thought you were someone else. That is
a good a good way to exit the awkward situation
if you have to.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
And what is it called? What is the layman term
for that?
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Face blindness?
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Face blindness which your character on your show brilliant minds,
which is fucking awesome. By the way, I just watched
three episodes. Wow, you had me working out for three
hours this morning.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
Because I was like, he looks so amazing. I'll take
all the.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Credit and that I'll play the next one.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
But that's a great show on Peacock that I didn't
know about and now I know about, and we need
to tell everybody that doesn't know about it how great
it is.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Because first of all, I love a procedural, don't you too.
Absolutely I love.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
And I love the premise, and I love a doctor
for good, taking chances, taking risks for the good of
everybody's because there's obviously a very metaphysical aspect to this pow.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Yeah, well, you know the it's based on a real
life person. I think that's always a good place to
start when we're talking about brilliant minds. It's based on
Oliver Sacks. Actually, this is right at my desk. I
didn't plant that, but he has a book coming out,
edited by Kate Edgar, who heads the Oliver Sacks Foundation.
Oliver Sax was a prolific author as well as a
(04:50):
revolutionary neurologist in the mid twentieth century, and he wrote
dozens and dozens of books case studies about his patients
and the man in Musuki's way, his for a hat,
most notably Awakenings, many many music Ophelia, Anthropologists to Mars,
and tons of books that hero. He also wrote many
essays and gave many lectures and speeches. He was an
(05:12):
incredible man and he was driven by the pursuit of
understanding who his patients were before they were stricken with
whatever neurologic condition, disease, disorder, or injury befell them. And
he was always that was always his north star. The
engine of his purpose was to find their dignity and
(05:32):
their sense of personhood within whatever they were struggling with.
And it set him apart in a lot of ways,
and he really revolutionized the field of medicine and also
the field of literature. Right because medicine has become so diagnostic,
and technology and the advancements of technology for allowed medicine
to become so diagnostic, we lost the humanity of medicine.
(05:54):
And Oliver Sacks was somebody who was pretty singularly interested
in resurrecting the humanity of medicine. And so our show,
while I don't play all Over Sacks. I play a
character who is based on him. In every aspect of
the character that I play is drawn from the actual
life of all Over Sacks, but the character that I
play exists in a modern day's story, in a world
(06:14):
that's taking place right now.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Getting this role must have really added to your own
kind of I want to say spirituality, but perhaps there's
a better word for it, consciousness. Consciousness, Yes, thank you,
there you go. Consciousness has it, Yes.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
One hundred percent. It's really kind of been amazing for
me to zoom out and see how all of my
experiences have brought me to this place. Just the idea of, like,
where are our journeys take us right? And that at
this moment, particular moment that I'm playing this role in
(06:52):
this show and putting this message out into the world,
there are no mistakes, I find, and I do feel
like it is a an evolution of where I've been.
And I think Oliver Sacks and my intersection with him.
I sadly never got to meet him while he was
still alive, but my intersection with him in this creative
way and in this profoundly meaningful way to me is
(07:15):
something very special and so Oliver Sacks was somebody who
was really designed to examine the last frontier of the
human experience, which is the brain, the mind, and consciousness.
And I know, Chelsea, you know we share this quest
in our own journeys in individual ways, like you and
(07:36):
I are both. I think one of the reasons why
I've always been so drawn to you is, you know,
we're very similar age and and we I think you're
just as you're You're curious in a similar way to me.
And what I've watched of you and read of you
and know of you, you know you and I kind
of will never stop digging. And all of our Sacks
(07:56):
was like that, right, So the excavation, the process of
excavation of who we are as human beings is something
that drove him and motivated him. And similarly, I think
it drives me and motivates me and you too. And
so it's no mistake that we're all talking about this
right now, and so in terms of consciousness and where
(08:17):
we are in consciousness right now, I think it is
a pivotal moment in our evolution as a civilization as
a species. And I think all of our Sacks is
as much a part of that conversation as you and
I are right now, it's sitting here in.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
The slash yeah, and including everybody.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Actually it's a world yeah, because I think we were
just talking about that book Letting Go. I don't know
if you've read that. Have you ever read that by
David Hawkins. It's a great book about consciousness.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
But it's just about you know, how leading with love, and.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Like love really is the answer to everything, Like you know,
stop resisting, stop fighting, stop arguing, stop being negative, stop
getting in negative patterns that you can't get out of,
but you can get out of them. It's never too
late to get out of your negativity. And like the
vibes bring the vibes up, you know what I mean.
When you're around somebody and you leave them and you
feel better after having seen them, that's because they have
(09:09):
high vibes and then they are infecting you by osmosis
with their high vibes. And my goal and our goal
is a plant should obviously be like you know, so
much love could heal and hate doesn't bring us anything good.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
It just brings us more acrimony.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
I'm so happy to hear you say this, And just
to piggyback on that. You know, we are living in
this moment right now. It is such an unprecedented time
what we're experiencing right now. The ground is shifting beneath
our feet as we're standing on it. So there's an
urgent need right now. The urgent need of the time
(09:43):
right now is for exactly what you're saying, is for
everybody who has even the faintest inkling of that sensibility
that you just articulated, to do whatever they can do
to tune their listening to that vibration and allow that
vibration to strengthen within them, and then allow that strengthening
(10:04):
the vibration within them to reverberate in other people that
will then continue to amplify that out and out and out.
And what we're witnessing right now, in my estimation, is
that collectively, we have decided to focus on the wrong
things and all of this attention. If you look at
how it's built and built and built, and it's really
building to this election, isn't it right? You look at
(10:25):
how it's built, and I'm not just talking about in
the United States, but just in terms of you know,
the broader spectrum, we have created these paradigms that are
based in the binary one way or the other, right
or wrong, black and white. I'm on this side, you're
on that side. When the reality is that those are
(10:45):
all reactions that are coming from a place of completely
justifiable and understandable fear. Fear. Fear fear has driven us
to this place of binary thinking and clinging to the
constructs that we have all agreed upon for generations are
(11:06):
going to be the foundation of how we relate to
one another, and how we see one another, and how
we sink of one another. But when we really zoom
out and consider what we are up against and what
we are now not about to, but what we are
now entering into moving forward, right, the existential crises that
present themselves to us, namely, and there are many, I
(11:27):
don't need to name them all, but namely climate change
and artificial intelligence. Let's just start there. Climate change, we're
already seeing. It's not something that's going to happen. We
don't have to argue about it. I don't want to
get into the semantics of the black and white of it.
Right North Carolina, Florida, in the last two weeks, we
have seen these unprecedented catastrophic, cataclysmic experiences. They're just the beginning,
(11:52):
but they are happening at an accelerated rate, they're happening
more frequently, and they're happening in more anomalous situations, like
in the mountains of North Carolina, where they shouldn't be happening. Right, So,
if we take this as the harbinger of what's to come,
we recognize that within the next ten to fifteen, certainly
twenty years, the kinds of mass migrations that we're going
(12:14):
to see on the planet. Right, the tens of millions
of people who are going to have to move from
place to place because the place that they're in now
are no longer inhabitable. That's one thing. And then you
just blow in underneath that artificial intelligence and machine learning.
We've already invited that into the conversation. We don't know
what it's capable of, we don't know how fast or
(12:34):
how dramatically it's going to evolve, but we've already brought
it into the conversation. So it's already here. People are
already using chat GPT to write their cover letters, and
you know, so it's already here. We're divesting ourselves of
the experience of being human. We're outsourcing the human experience
to this artificial intelligence, and we have no idea where
that's going to take us. So collectively we are on
(12:57):
the precipice of change. We can't either family because if
you add just those two variables, and there are many others,
but if you add just those two variables to the equation,
then we have no idea what the future looks like.
And so the constructs that we've agreed upon in the
past are rapidly dissolving. And my feeling is that consciousness
(13:21):
and the rapid expansion of consciousness is the only way
that we have any chance of moving forward with success,
to thrive, or to survive. Even so, for me, it
is exactly what you're saying, and I think people all
around the planet right now are feeling it and sensing it,
and even if they don't know what it is, they're
tapping into something bigger than themselves, because it's everywhere you look,
(13:45):
and it is our responsibility to amplify that and bring
people into the light, just like you're saying. So I'm
glad to hear you say it. I know I feel
like I've been talking about seventy some minutes about shutting up.
But I feel so strongly about it right now, and
it feels so urgent that we have to talk about it.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Yeah, I agree with you. I feel the same way.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
I'm mentent on spreading infecting as many people with kindness
as I can.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
Do you meditate, yes, I do? Good.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
What kind of meditation do you do?
Speaker 3 (14:16):
I do veading meditation, which is an offshoot of TM.
So it's the same technique as TM, it's just a
different community and it's a twice daily practice mantra based.
What about you.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
I do a Choprah app mostly I do like a
guided meditation about twenty minutes each morning.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
Right, So Chopra comes from the Vedic world. I mean
Deepak Chopra is that is the same. We are the
same in that practice. And I say to anybody who
has a meditation practice right now and especially for the
next three weeks before the election, meditation, meditation, meditation, it
is it is Defcon five, All hands on deck. If
(14:52):
you have a practice or you know people who have practices,
now is the time to come to your practice and
hold space, because not only do we have to hold
space for our own experiences, we have to be able
to hold space for the experience of the collective, because
this is a collective shift of consciousness that's happening right now.
(15:13):
It's not an individual shift of consciousness. It is happening
on the individual level, on the micro level. But if
you zoom out and look at the macro level, you know,
just think about what we're fighting about right Think about
what we're fighting about. Think about the Middle East. I
care not wading into those waters in terms of the politics,
the history. I have no authority or knowledge to do so. However,
(15:35):
I will say that it is one of the binaries
that is the most kind of volatile binaries on the
planet right now. But if you zoom out, the reality
is that what we're fighting over is land that will
be uninhabitable in the next twenty five years by anybody,
so that the Palestinians and the Jews are going to
have to shoulder to shoulder walk together to find a
(15:55):
place where they all can live and survive. So we
are focusing on the hatred. We're focusing on We no
longer have the luxury to be defined by the constructs
that have defined us for the last hundreds of years,
and generations. You know, we just as a civilization no
longer have the luxury of being defined by whether we're
(16:17):
Jewish or Palestinian, or gay or straight, or CIS or trans,
or black or white. That conversation is over, and how
we recognize the end of that conversation and evolve that
conversation into what the new conversation has to be is
the moment that we're living through right now, and as
terrifying as it is, it is also profoundly full of
(16:39):
beauty and possibility and creativity and joy. And that is
our job to move in that direction and to move
toward that because we're not going to change anybody's minds.
We're not going to change anybody. And the reality is
as well, that you know, the planet can sustain the
(17:00):
current trajectory of population that that that we're you know,
barraging it with. So the reality is that things are
going to shift cataclysmically and they already are. Look at
the wars, look at the natural disasters around the planet.
There's nothing we can do to stop that stuff. But
what we have to do is evolve adapt And you know,
that's what Oliver Sacks believed. That's why there's no mistake
(17:24):
that I happen to be, you know, playing this character
right now at this moment. Think about all the fucking dark, twisted,
fucked up characters I've played, so you know, and my
own journey from the dark into the light, and now
I get to play a role and tell stories and
put them into the world from a place of evolution
(17:44):
and adaptation and on my own personal journey, that's been true,
and I think creatively that's been true, and hopefully collectively
that will be true as well as we continue to
move forward.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
This is like a sermon. Oh my god, I loved
it today, but I know, I mean, look at you.
I mean, I really couldn't have said it better myself.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
I'm glad to hear it. I'm sorry I went on
a rant, but I've just been thinking about it so much.
And also, there's no mistake that I'm doing fucking press
for the Igains. Swear right. It's you. I shouldn't be
in there, but you know that I'm doing press that
I have, that I have an opportunity to connect with
like minded people in this way. And I just knew
(18:25):
coming into this that you're probably on the same wavelength
because That's why I've always been drawn to you, even
before I met you or knew you, and I just
saw you as someone who is asking the questions, pushing
the boundaries, you know, not letting yourself off the look,
digging deeper. And that's what we need. We need to
reach out to one another and then bring the people
(18:45):
who are kind of aware of that sensibility, even if
they haven't completely accessed it themselves along for the journey.
That is a hat.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Because the true definition or the true meaning of consciousness
isn't just being conscious about what's happening in your life.
It's about having a collected consciousness with the entire world.
So every single person matters in the same way.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
There aren't people who matter more or less at all.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
And that's where yeah, and so there it does feel
like a tipping a point, especially if the election goes
the way that I want it to. I feel like
that we all want it to that are sitting here today,
I feel like, you know, then we really do have
an opportunity to change the world, because you know, climate
change is at the foot, it's out the door, it's happening.
And what we need in response to that is not
(19:36):
more fighting. We need all hands on deck and love
to receive these people who are not no longer going
to have a safe place to live, to actually be
able to help and aid and send aid. You know,
there are so many things that we're going to have
to deal with. Can you imagine having additional wars and
then climate change?
Speaker 1 (19:52):
And you know it's like, let's stop with the wars and.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Start with the love and water wars and that you know,
the wars the climate change is going to ignite. Right.
So the other thing that I think is important to
kind of bring into this conversation a little bit about
about evolution is that one essential element of evolution is destruction.
That's just a simple fact of nature. Creation, maintenance, destruction,
(20:17):
These three operating forces are always at play in nature.
And if we consider that as human beings, we are
individual expressions of nature. If we're if we're operating from
this place which is scientifically proven, that we are all
expressions of extensions of one unified field of consciousness. Right.
This is quantum physics. This is you know, what is
(20:39):
far beyond my level of intellectual capacity to understand, let
alone explain, But you know, quantum physics proves the idea
that all matter comes from one source, which is on
MENSS and then becomes MENSS. Then we all do come
from the same place, right, We are all connected in
ways that we don't even come hand or understand. And
(21:01):
yet we have lived in a world that for millennia
has really existed on this idea of individual identity, right,
personal egoic identity. And now we are confronted with profound
transformations that no longer allow us to hide behind those constructs. Right,
(21:21):
those constructs are dissolving, and now we have to accept
the fact that destruction in many forms is a part
of progress. And so the election, for example, I think
represents two very different paths. Are we going to move
forward with an administration who has some awareness of and
some understanding of the contexts as it is in a
(21:45):
larger sense, or are we going to move forward with
an administration who is completely limited in their ability to
see what's actually happening and focused on holding on to
the past, retire turning to something that never will be Well.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
On that note, we're going to take a break and
we're going to be right back with Zachary Levi. Okay,
So for Zachary Quinto, for this portion of the show,
we take callers, and I know that you're excited to
give advice to some people. You're good at it and
it's real people, so it's exciting. I find it very
(22:24):
very what's the word. No, it's more than satisfying and
me feels meaningful.
Speaker 5 (22:30):
There's connection there, which is just what we've been talking about.
Oh great, you know this shared consciousness, and now we'll
share some.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Conscience, share our consciousness, but we're going to infect some
more people.
Speaker 5 (22:39):
Yeah. Well, our first question is just an email. This
comes from Amanda TLDR.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
I don't what does that mean?
Speaker 3 (22:47):
What?
Speaker 5 (22:47):
Oh it means too long? Didn't read, so it's like
a summary TLDR. I want to not give a shit
what other people in my workout bubble look like, so
I can stop comparing myself to them. As an athletic, healthy,
forty four year old woman who loves to stay active,
I've always tried to embrace a positive relationship with my body.
I'm not trying to look like a twenty something anymore.
(23:08):
I've always loved the gym, and during COVID I discovered
the Tracy Anderson method. I've completely fallen for it. I
practice five to six times a week and truly enjoy
the process, but constantly being bombarded by this and other
fitness marketing online can sometimes have a negative impact on
my self esteem. I often find myself feeling self deprecating
and critical of my body, especially when I compare myself
(23:30):
to the trainers and many women who post their workouts
with their perfect size two bodies and somehow have their
makeup and hair looking perfect to boot. I often will
record myself training, but then I see myself and I'm
mortified and won't post it. It's like a downward spiral.
I know I shouldn't let these comparisons affect me, especially
at my age, but I find it challenging to appreciate
my body and health when I'm bombarded with unrealistic standards.
(23:54):
It's gotten so much worse in my forties. I'm a
grown ass, smart, educated woman. Why do I let this
bother me? And how can I stop comparing myself to
picture perfect bodies? I just want to feel happier about
my own body. Warmly, Amanda, I don't know what do
you think.
Speaker 3 (24:09):
You're very You're very active. I've seen you many a
mountain side.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Yes, I would say on the subject of letting go.
Let it go.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
If looking at other videos and fitness videos or people
in your class posting or looking at them while you're
working out, if those things bother you.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
Focus on yourself. Just focus on yourself.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Everybody has these feelings that you're talking about, but it's
up to you to like cut the cord of comparison.
Like that's why I don't spend five hours a day
online looking at people's Instagram.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
That's because it's bad for you. It's bad to compare.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
What is it.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Comparison is the beef of joy. Comparison is the thief
of joy. That's the latest quote that's been going around
that I heard, and it is so true. It is
that is not your body. That is not your problem.
You're here problem and you can either make yourself victorious
or you could make yourself a problem.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
So the fact I would say that you're working out five.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
To six times a day doing I've done that workout before,
that's not easy. You should be celebratory of the fact
that you are doing the best that you can do
and stop comparing yourself to other people.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
That is a losing scenario.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
So write something down on your fridge or your mirror
or wherever you look at the most and say, comparison
is the thief of joy.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Write that down. That's all you need to know, and
imprint it on your mind.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
And you know, once you read something enough times, you
don't need to see it every single day. You remember
when you wake up, you know, and then it becomes
part of who you are, because yeah, I just don't
think there's any You don't get any benefit from depleting
yourself of the pride that you have earned from going
(25:52):
and working out to make yourself feel better every single day?
Speaker 1 (25:55):
Why are you letting anyone take that away from you?
Speaker 3 (25:57):
And I would also only just say that you know
this difference between where are you looking for your sense
of self? Where are you looking for your sense of
validation and purpose and meaning in the world? Are you
looking outside of yourself for that? So you're looking to
import that feeling from people's reactions to you, like oh
my god, you look so good, or you know you
(26:19):
lost so much weight, or you look so skinny, so
then you feel better about yourself. Well, that's importing that
feeling from somewhere else, as opposed to allowing the discipline,
the commitment, the endorphins, the progress that you're making in
your own life to be the source of your fulfillment,
which you can then radiate and export out to the world.
(26:39):
So this difference between importing a sense of validation and
exporting a sense of validation. When you're importing a sense
of validation, you need to keep looking for it. You
need to keep looking for it from other people. You
need to keep looking for it from you know, is
it comparison, is it I'm successful, i am in love,
I'm whatever. So you're looking for it somewhere else, and
(27:00):
then it's unsustainable. But if you're able to gift that
focus and recognize that what you're doing by committing to
your own well being, committing as a forty four year
old woman, I think she said to, you know, embracing
life and staying active and keeping your body engaged, that's
more than ninety five percent of the people on the
planet are doing. So shift your focus to recognize how
(27:24):
wonderful that is, what a generous thing you're doing for
yourself right, and then you can, hopefully, you know, focus
that energy on yourself and then cultivate a place from
which that gratitude and that pride, that well deserved self
directed pride can then be something that other people see
in you and recognize as something that inspires them. Then
(27:46):
you're magnetizing people into your experience who are drawn to
you because you have generated this light that brings them in,
not because you're looking for other people to shine their
lead on you to make you feel better.
Speaker 5 (27:58):
Right, it doesn't matter how bang your body is, if
your vibration is low.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
Yeah, Or it doesn't matter how better of your body is,
if all you care about is that other people see
that or feel that way.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
See, yeah, exactly exactly. But I love what you just
said because it's you know you can. You can attract
people on so many different levels and in so many
different ways. You're focusing on the wrong thing. Like infuse
yourself with the positivity that you derive from working out
and just let that be and I promise you you're
going to have a different outlook.
Speaker 5 (28:28):
Yeah, this might be a great place to to incorporate.
Chelsea recommends a lot of gratitude journal and do that
for thirty days, like just focusing on like here's what
my body can do, Here's what I was able to
do yesterday, Here's how strong I feel today and really
focusing on that for thirty days.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
And you know what, also, I just talked to someone
about this and it was somebody who was very unexpectedly
wrote a gratitude journal that I was like, really, he
must have been a straight man. But anyway, he was
saying to me that he did do it, not at
my behest, but that someone else is a mind. And
he said, I mean it's vibrationally, like how you can
(29:03):
change your attitude, how you can change your outlook, like
it's a matter of days if you just put that
down to practice, like all these little things you can
do to keep the vibes high.
Speaker 5 (29:13):
Zachary Levi wasn't.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
I mean, most things are Zachary Levi with me.
Speaker 5 (29:18):
So thanks, Amanda, and let us know if that changes
things for you. Our next question comes from Brian and
he's going to be calling in is it Zachary Levi?
Speaker 3 (29:28):
And he identified he does.
Speaker 5 (29:30):
So Brian says, Dear Chelsea, I've recently started dating a
new guy and he's absolutely wonderful. He's got a great job,
he's super sweet and has a good support system around
him and texts in full complete sentences. I know, Chelsea
will appreciate that one.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
I do appreciate that.
Speaker 5 (29:46):
There's just one caveat. He's undetectable untransmittable HIV positive, meaning
his viral load is so low that he's not able
to pass it along, or so the science says. I have, however,
heard of cases where this has still occurred. I'm also
on PREP, so that's another layer of protection. And obviously
condoms can be used as well, although I'm allergic to
late text and haven't used condoms in yours. I really
(30:08):
like this guy, and we're at the point of exploring
things physically. I just have some worries with this, as
it's a huge potential risk. I feel it's a risk
I'm willing to take in the right situation for sure.
I just don't know when that time is. Sincerely, Brian, Hi, Brian, Brian, Hi.
Speaker 4 (30:23):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
This is our special guest, Zachary Quinto today.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
Hi, nice to meet you. Say Kinto or Quinto, You're right,
You're right? Shows this Quinto Pinto?
Speaker 2 (30:33):
Okay, Sorry, sorry he's telling you he's a fan. I'm like,
is it Quinto?
Speaker 4 (30:36):
Please?
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Quick here like an asshole? Sorry, anyway, welcome to our show.
I'm glad you're both here. That's a great question. Have
you spoken to your doctor about this?
Speaker 6 (30:44):
That was my first question too, not specifically about this situation,
about you know, protection and to begin with, I think
that's why I started PREP about a year and a
half ago, so I've had kind of the general over
overlying conversation, but not specifically about this situation yet.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
I mean, I would I agree with Chelsea. I think
that is certainly the place to start. To sit down
with your doctor and explain the situation and come up
with a plan that your doctor feels is reliable, you know,
medically sound and reliable. But I mean, the evolution of
medical technology is so incredible and you know, our generation
(31:22):
is benefited from that SOT greatly. So you know, between PREP,
which you're on, and his treatment which keeps him undetectable,
I mean, the percentage chance of transmission is like point something, right,
like point zero something. I think it's really really low.
And so how long have you been together?
Speaker 4 (31:42):
Not long, I'd say about a month.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
Uh oh okay, but it's a little.
Speaker 7 (31:47):
Bit long distance. So we've been on probably like six
or seven days. I'm supposed to see him tonight actually, so.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
Oh wow, exciting and how openly are you able to
talk about it with him?
Speaker 4 (31:57):
Communication has been really great.
Speaker 7 (31:59):
He was very you know, forth coming from the beginning
and you know, give a lot of information on answered
any and all questions.
Speaker 4 (32:04):
So that was good. I think it's just for me.
Speaker 7 (32:08):
The big question is do I want to and even
though the risk is super super low, do you want
to take that risk if it's not something that's going
to work out. Yeah, And so that's the question that
I think I have for him. But I just I
don't know exactly how to phrase that and come across
obviously endearing with compassion.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
Yeah, I mean, I would just say you're from my
experience communication, communication, communication, you know, share your feelings, because
if if your relationship is meant to evolve into something
substantive and meaningful and sustainable, then communication is the only
foundation on which you can build a relationship for which
that will be true. So you have to be able
(32:48):
to bring all the parts of yourself, the scared parts,
the vulnerable parts, the parts that you feel like might
get rejected to the conversation from the beginning, because if
what you're navigating is, hey, is there youeeling this way
that I'm feeling like this could be something significant and
he is feeling that way, then the conversation will lead
you to the next phase or the next chapter. Right,
(33:10):
But I don't think you can make it all about
this one issue. I think what you need to do
is figure out a way to maybe separate out that
concern with the bigger question, which is like, hey, are
we doing this thing? Because if you're doing this thing
and you're together, then as long as you have a
foundation who open this honesty and communication, there's nothing else
(33:33):
you can't figure out.
Speaker 4 (33:34):
Oh, absolutely, And I really appreciate that.
Speaker 7 (33:36):
I speaking of making it about the whole conversation, there's
been an update since I wrote in and since I
talked to Catherine last week.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
Oh, yes, you're pregnant.
Speaker 7 (33:46):
But again, it's been moving forward, and so it's been
moving in the right direction of all that. However, on Thursday,
I was with him and he told me that he's
kind of unhappy at his place of work right now,
but there's one boss that's kind of kept in there
that he's very very close with, and he got worried
that that boss is potentially leaving for a job out
of state, and they've asked him to go if it
(34:09):
all works out, so he has some big decisions to
make with that. It wouldn't happen for like four to
six months even if it did happen. So that's kind
of a new wrinkle that's been thrown in.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
Well, where would he go because it's already long distance,
so where would he move?
Speaker 7 (34:24):
Well, long distance Now, it's only about forty five minutes
to an hour, so it's not bad. It's definitely cable
to see each other a couple times a week at least,
but this would be five hours away.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
Uh huh okay, Well that's so manageable. I mean, listen,
that's a gift sometimes to distance.
Speaker 4 (34:38):
It is.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
I mean, every relationship that I know that's successful is
because the two people are traveling extensively. So please don't
use that as like our reason to not be with someone.
It's very good to have space and to have someone
five hours away.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
It is no big deal. That's an hour flight, or
do you mean a five hour flight?
Speaker 7 (34:59):
It's a five hours but it's in the middle of nowhere,
so there is no direct.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Flight or well you could parachute in.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
Don't worry about that, right, Yeah, I wouldn't worry about
those problems until they arise and they're actually concrete, and
I wouldn't consider it a problem, you know what I mean,
Just kind of like reframe everything you're talking about. The
fact that you guys had this conversation a month in
means that this guy is responsible, is respectful, and actually
cares about you, right, I mean, he told you everything
(35:26):
he needed to tell you before anything happened.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
The risk sounds very low.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
Obviously, I'm not going to give you any medical advice
because I'm not a doctor, even though I want to be,
and I love medications and pills and I love giving advice.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
But I don't want to be responsible for that.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
But I just as a gut I think, I think
you're going to be fine, and I understand all of
the concerns you have. But we are living at a
time that is much different than when AIDS came on
the scene, you know what I mean. This is a
much different world. People live with it healthfully for decades,
you know, look at Magic Johnson.
Speaker 4 (35:58):
Look.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
And it's not just wealthy people. I have friends who
have AIDS or HIV. Well. So yeah, not that you're
trying to get it, but I'm just saying it's just
not what it was. So I want you to think
about it in that in that frame too, because it's
really important to find somebody that you can trust, that
you can love, that respects you and the feeling is mutual.
So I would focus on those issues first and anything
(36:19):
else you can navigate.
Speaker 4 (36:22):
I appreciate that.
Speaker 7 (36:22):
Yeah, And he says so sweet, and it's been such
a breath or fresh air, and it's definitely something that
I want to explore.
Speaker 4 (36:27):
So I really really appreciate all.
Speaker 3 (36:29):
The Yeah, you should explore it, see where it takes you.
It sounds like a nice beginning to something that even
though there's a lot of unknowns, you can't miss what's
meant for you. So if this is something that is
supposed to be in your life, then everything will unfold
so that that is possible.
Speaker 4 (36:47):
Right now. That's that's really really great advice. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
Okay, Well, thank you, Brian.
Speaker 4 (36:53):
You in a month, I'll be at one of your
shows in Texas.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Oh go Texas. You're in Texas, well, try to get
out of there as quickly as are you there?
Speaker 1 (37:02):
All right, thank y'all, all right, thanks for calling in.
Speaker 5 (37:05):
All right, Our next caller is Chris. He says, Dear Chelsea,
I recently got engaged to my partner after eighteen years.
Marriage was never a must, and it just felt like
the right time for us. But our relationship is not
what my email is about. So when we got engaged,
I called to tell my mom the news and got
a less than excited response. To be honest, it was
(37:27):
exactly the response I expected, so it wasn't a disappointment. However,
before she even said her lackluster congratulations, the first thing
she said was, we won't tell your father. This is
where I need advice. I've never been particularly close to
my dad, and when I came out, it made a
not great relationship pretty bad for a few years. I
didn't come around for a while. While things have improved,
(37:49):
my being gay and in a relationship is just never
discussed or talked about. My dad is ninety five years old,
I'm forty, and my mom says he won't be able
to handle the news of my engagement, almost implying it
would kill him.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Literally. I don't feel.
Speaker 5 (38:02):
Right not telling my dad, and I don't need his
approval and I'm not looking for him to all of
a sudden embrace my relationship. But I'm also not going
to hide my future marriage. How do I handle this?
Speaker 3 (38:11):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Hi, how are you nice to meet you? This is Agricanco,
our special guest today.
Speaker 3 (38:16):
How are you nice to meet you? How are you good?
Speaker 8 (38:18):
Good?
Speaker 1 (38:19):
Here comes Doug. This is my big black magic Doug.
Here you goes? Okay.
Speaker 4 (38:24):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
So congratulations, by the way.
Speaker 3 (38:27):
So your engagement, that's exciting.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
That's exciting with your partner eighteen years Okay.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
Fantastic, it was time cool geez. Eighteen years and you're forty.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
Ye, so you're twenty two years twenty two years old
and you're still together college.
Speaker 8 (38:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:48):
Is he the same age as you are?
Speaker 8 (38:49):
Oh he's a bit older. He's in his sixties.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
Oh interesting. Okay. So does your mother know him already?
Speaker 3 (38:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 8 (38:57):
My mom does.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
Yeah, Okay.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
Is she venting you from telling your father or suggesting
that you not tell your father because of who it is,
or because of just the fact that you're gay.
Speaker 8 (39:07):
Just the fact that I'm gay? I mean, he knows.
Speaker 9 (39:09):
He's never met my partner, Jeff for a while once.
He when I first came out. You know, I sort
of stayed away from the family for several years. Slowly
I sort of got back in with the family and
you know, went back to doing some family events. Jeff
has never met my dad. It's just never not something
(39:31):
that's talked about. It's just I'm around just to help
keep the peace. Almost sometimes it seems.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
I'm sorry that that's been your experience. That's pretty disappointing.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
Yeah, I'm sorry too. That is difficult and challenging and
I'm sure probably a heavy thing to carry in the
face of such a celebratory moment. So I'm sorry that
you're at that crossroads.
Speaker 5 (39:53):
And Chris, I wanted to just drop in here as well.
Something that came up when we were chatting in our
pre interview, was that, really you said that your dad
has sort of softened. He's been saying I love you more, hugging.
Can you tell us a little bit about that.
Speaker 9 (40:06):
Yeah, he's ninety five, so he's getting up there in age,
so you know, part of it's just like as he
just set in his ways, you know, but just over
the years, you know, whenever I see him and whenever
you know, me and my siblings when we leave for
whatever gathering we're at, you know, he's definitely more affectionate. Recently,
you know, he's saying, I love you, giving a kiss.
Speaker 3 (40:26):
You know it interestingly to me, it's an interesting I
guess most things tie back to consciousness. But but you know,
you have to give him grace, you know. And I
guess my advice to you, or my sort of reflection
back at you, is, if you've observed a softening him,
you know, and you've observed this kind of desire to
(40:47):
connect more, I think you have to recognize what you're
up against, right, And for somebody who's ninety five years old,
that's that's not getting up there, that's that's got He's
already got there, you know what I mean. That's that's
really really no matter how you cut it, he's coming
to the end of this part of his experience. And
so you know, if you feel like sharing this news
(41:09):
with him is going to cause him any kind of
pain or exacerbate his suffering or complicate the end of
his life, then, as his son, even though you clearly
had a complicated relationship with him, I'm sure that's not
your motivation here. You don't want to make his life
any harder. So maybe there's a way to just find
(41:30):
an intimate moment with him and just say something to
the effect of, Dad, you know, I know that we've
never really seen eye to eye on certain aspects of
who I am. And I understand that you know that
that doesn't mean you love me any less, but it
just means that you weren't able to process the reality
of who I am in the same way. But I
(41:52):
just want you to know that I am really, really happy.
You know, like, if there's a way for you to
communicate to him that this moment in your life where
you're telling him without telling him, if your mom is
concerned that you telling him that you're getting married to
your longtime partner who's never met because he couldn't hold
space for you to have that experience, is going to
(42:13):
make his suffering worse, then is there an opportunity for
you to just tell him what you need him to know,
which is that he raised a son who is capable
of love and who is capable of navigating all of
the challenges and all the obstacles that your father, in
his limited consciousness, forced upon you, not intentionally and not
(42:37):
because he wanted to, but because he didn't know any better.
And now that he's coming to the end of his
journey with compassion and forgiveness. I think there's a way
for you to let him know that you don't resent
him for that, and that he can move on from
this experience, from his human experience, and know that you
are happy and safe. And any father wants to know
(42:59):
that their child.
Speaker 8 (43:01):
Yeah, and I believe he does.
Speaker 2 (43:03):
So that's very beautiful. That is very beautiful, and exactly
I completely agree. I think there is a way to
say that. And you know, and I think you're probably
going to hear what you want to hear when his
time is up. And if you have the luxury of
spending you know, a last few days with him, even
if it's the last few hours with him, hopefully he
(43:23):
you know, you'll have that opportunity. And I guarantee you, well,
I don't guarantee you, but I would strongly suspect that
during that time you're going to have an opportunity to
share this with him. There is really no rush, right Like,
it's not an emergency. You don't have to tell him,
right and you know in those moments or when you
if there is a moment that happens before that, great,
(43:45):
but if you know, if it's not until then, then
that's it. A good opportunity too, and when you're saying goodbye,
to let him know how happy you are and how
happy you are to live a fully realized, actualized existence
where you're not hiding, you know, and you're being who
you are.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
And there's not a person who doesn't want that for
their child.
Speaker 5 (44:03):
Right, And that you've found a partner who loves you
and treats you well, and that you've made a life
together and.
Speaker 3 (44:08):
You've been together for eighteen years. So this isn't a lark,
I know.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
I just I'm just so curious how you get how
you get engaged after eighteen years, Like what happens?
Speaker 9 (44:19):
I just you know, I've been thinking about the last
year or two.
Speaker 8 (44:23):
Just you know, I just felt it was time we
took it.
Speaker 3 (44:28):
We're in Pittsburgh, Oh you are, that's where from?
Speaker 4 (44:31):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (44:31):
Yeah, I know a lazy well I know my fair
share about you know, stubborn, Dunian, older Pittsburgh. So I
know what you're up against there, and like I get it.
You know, that's a tough metocrack. So so just like
I just think compassion and forgiveness can be your guide
and that you know you'll find a place with him
of mutuality and love, because that's that's that's what's there,
(44:55):
you know, eventually.
Speaker 8 (44:57):
Definitely, Yeah, Yeah, I think it'll I'm hoping it would
go better than what my mind is thinking it will go.
Speaker 3 (45:04):
So yeah, and I do agree with Chelsea there is
no rush.
Speaker 2 (45:07):
Yeah, I just know that you're gonna You're gonna have
the conversation with him at the appropriate time and surrender it.
Just be like, Okay, I've decided what I'm going to
do here, Now let me let it go, and then
when the opportunity arises, take that opportunity.
Speaker 4 (45:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 9 (45:21):
I think the more I think about it, it's more
for me than it really is for him.
Speaker 8 (45:27):
I think too. No, I mean, he knows, but he
doesn't know the extent of it.
Speaker 3 (45:31):
Maybe it's hard in families when you have open secrets,
you know, it's a difficult thing to navigate because it's
such a oh, it's such an unfortunate byproduct of trauma, right,
like open secrets, Like that's the worst.
Speaker 4 (45:43):
Right.
Speaker 3 (45:43):
So he knows, but he doesn't know, or he knows
but he won't acknowledge it or something. So yeah, And
I also recognize as a gay man myself, I also
recognize your position, which is like, I shouldn't have to hide,
I shouldn't have to sublimate my love to please this person.
But there is that you know, he did the best
he could and it wasn't good enough, and I'm sorry
(46:06):
that it wasn't good enough for you. You you deserve better.
But it sounds like you've found better. It sounds like
you've created better for yourself. You've evolved beyond the limitations
of what he provided for you or your you know,
your family of origin provided for you, and so now
you have the opportunity to, from that place of expansion,
(46:27):
embrace his limited point of view and let him know
that it doesn't diminish your appreciation for him. Your love
for him and the person that you are today is
informed at least partially and certainly significantly by him, and
so there is gratitude there. And how can you focus
(46:48):
on that now that he's in the very you know,
the last chapter of his experience.
Speaker 9 (46:52):
No, I agree, I agree, So I would definitely be
having this conversation and for the best.
Speaker 2 (46:58):
And also framing everything in the right pace way, like
you know, what you said is important. This is more
for me than for him, So take that back and
think about that, because if it is more for you,
then hold on to it for a little bit.
Speaker 1 (47:09):
Okay, and thanks for calling it. Yeah, thanks, great to
meet you.
Speaker 3 (47:12):
I have a good one.
Speaker 1 (47:13):
Thanks Chris, Bye bye. Okay, do we have to take
a break and come back to wrap it up?
Speaker 2 (47:18):
Okay, We're going to take a break and come back,
and we're back with Zachary Quintop.
Speaker 1 (47:26):
Zachary, I have a question about your show.
Speaker 2 (47:28):
So your character is gay in the show, and Oliver
Sacks was he?
Speaker 1 (47:32):
He wasn't gay?
Speaker 3 (47:32):
Was he? Yeah? He was?
Speaker 1 (47:34):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (47:34):
He was? Oh?
Speaker 2 (47:35):
Oh, okay, So then I guess I don't know if it
was also So that was a request that you made.
Speaker 3 (47:40):
No, No, Oliver Sacks was a gay man who was
celibate for thirty five years of his life, and that
was a real roadblock for me in terms of understanding
the character. I couldn't fathom when I first was presented
with that fact how someone could make a choice like that,
or why someone make a choice like that. And then
the more I did it, the more I realized that
(48:02):
he recognized that if he came out in his day
and age, and you know, he lived and worked in
the middle of the twentieth century, mostly the seventies, eighties
and nine dais and he died in twenty fifteen at
the age of eighty three. So, you know, had he
come out, he would have been defined by that aspect
of who he was, right, he would have been diminished
in his capacity to make the contributions to the field
(48:25):
of neurology that he was singularly designed to make. And
so he chose to separate himself, to divorce himself from
that part of who he was, and to compartmentalize and
split off from that part of his identity in order
to be able to serve his patients and make the
incredible and indelible mark on a medicine that he was
(48:46):
able to make. Thankfully, late in his life he came
to terms with his sexuality and he came out, and
he was in a relationship for the last decade or
so of his life with a very loving partner, and
he found his way to that. But you know, so
my character on the show is gay. It's the first
openly gay lead of a primetime network medical drama, A
(49:07):
big deal in that way. But it's a big deal
because it's not a big deal, right, It's a big deal,
because we live in a world, and I live in
a world as an openly gay actor where that aspect
of my personality, of my identity is only one of
many aspects of the identity that I moved through the
world with, and I benefited from the sacrifices of people
(49:30):
like Oliver Sacks who didn't have that same opportunity. So
there is some really wonderful through line in that narrative
right between the life that Oliver Sacks lived, the life
that the character I play, Oliver Wolf lives, and the
life that I live, you know, as an actor and
as a person in this modern day. So I feel
(49:51):
grateful for that.
Speaker 1 (49:52):
Was there ever a time in your career that you
weren't out?
Speaker 3 (49:55):
Yeah, I mean I didn't come out until twenty eleven.
I started working. I mean, Heroes was the show that
really changed my life my career. People started to know
me in two thousand and six. So it was the
end of two thousand and six that I became a
known quantity, right like that, I ever had to deal
(50:16):
with the idea of what being famous was. And then
it was five years later that I came around public.
So there was a five year period of time where
I was out in my life and people who knew
me knew I was gay, but I never spoke of
it publicly until twenty eleven.
Speaker 1 (50:30):
And how did that feel?
Speaker 3 (50:31):
Well, that was one of the most liberating experiences that
I've ever had. I made the decision to come out
on my own. I didn't tell anybody. I didn't tell
my publicists. I didn't tell my agents or my manager,
anybody that I worked with. I didn't tell anybody in
my life, my boyfriend at the time, my family. I
just gave an interview and I referred to myself as
a gay man twice within the interview, so that I
put you a fine point on it in case they
(50:52):
missed it the first time. And that to me was
I did it in my own time, on my own terms.
I didn't seek advice or councilor you know. It wasn't
a decision by committee. It was a decision that I
made myself, and so I was able to hold that
decision for whatever it ended up, you know, whatever the
reaction to it was, it was my decision, you know,
(51:15):
And so that felt really liberating.
Speaker 1 (51:17):
Yeah, I love that. I love that. Well, thank you
for being with us today.
Speaker 2 (51:21):
You guys, everybody, you can watch this wonderful human being
on his show on Peacock on the Peacock Network. I
think they want you to call it the Peacock.
Speaker 3 (51:29):
I don't. It's on NBC on Monday nights at ten
pm for people who watch TV in real time, and
then it streams on Peacock on the Peacock the next.
Speaker 1 (51:37):
Day, probably way off.
Speaker 3 (51:39):
I think it might just be I'm.
Speaker 2 (51:44):
Getting confused with all the different platforms and their names.
Speaker 3 (51:48):
Is It's very good. It will be something different tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (51:52):
And I hope I get to see you in person
sometime soon, Zachary.
Speaker 3 (51:55):
I was just about to say that very thing. It
is always good to connect with you. You know, I really
admire you, respect you and appreciate you and like you,
and I hope we can have a meal and you know,
like see each other outside of this context at some point.
I'm in New York. I'm doing a play here this
fall from the end of November until February. If you're
in New York, please come to see my play called
(52:15):
Culton Love at the Helen Hayes Theater on Broadway. And
if you come, let me know and we can go
it after.
Speaker 1 (52:21):
Okay, I'm going to write that down right now. Cult
of Love.
Speaker 3 (52:24):
Yeah, come see it. It's really I'm really excited.
Speaker 1 (52:26):
I would love to be good. Okay, Okay, it was
such a pleasure to see.
Speaker 3 (52:29):
So good to see you both. Have a good day YouTube.
Speaker 1 (52:31):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (52:33):
You well. Thanks.
Speaker 2 (52:35):
Okay, So upcoming shows that I have you guys, I'm
coming to Texas. I'm coming to Saint Louis and Kansas City,
and then I will be in Las Vegas performing at
the Chelsea Theater inside the Cosmopolitan Hotel.
Speaker 1 (52:46):
I'm coming to.
Speaker 2 (52:47):
Brooklyn, New York at the King's Theater on November eighth,
and I have tickets on sale throughout the end of
the year in December, So if you're in a city
like Philadelphia or Bethlehem or San Diego or New Orleans
or Omaha, check Chelseahandler dot com for tickets.
Speaker 1 (53:06):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (53:07):
If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email
at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be
sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited
and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and
be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot
com
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